Jocko Podcast 90 w/ Travis Mills: 90: Tough As They Come. Soldier. Warrior. Hero.

2017-08-30T22:48:38Z

Join the conversation on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook: @jockowillink @ssgTravisMills @echocharles Get Travis's book, "As Tough As They Come" here: http://amzn.to/2yZW8G5 0:00:00 - Opening 0:08:38 - Travis Mills 0:29:22 - First Deployment. 0:36:57 - R&R... And Romance. 0:41:31 - Re-Deploy. 1:05:22 - Home for Leave. 1:26:33 - Re-Deployment. 1:39:49 - Wounded by an IED. 2:03:25 - Recovery.  Pain.  Family Support. 2:22:28 - Moving to Maine. 2:24:12 - Starting the Travis Mills Foundation. 2:27:34 - Final Thoughts. 2:32:46 - Support, JockoStore stuff, Origin Brand Apparel, with Jocko White Tea and Psychological Warfare (on iTunes). Extreme Ownership (book), The Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual. Extreme Ownership Muster 004 in San Diego. 2:53:54 - Closing Gratitude.

AI summary of episode

I think statements like that are like what get kids or if I say kids, but like when I meet kids, like I've just met at this event, we were just at, and this, you know, he's like, I'm 19. You know, she can't say guys up like, well, well, you know, I went on patrol the day, got to help with help with kid tie a shoe, you know, and like that gets old and then what'd you do? He had four firefighters also for telling the towers 5k they do in New York City and they also, they partnered with Gary Snees and they built houses and things like that for guys that have been through traumatic injuries and they were like, hey, we're gonna have a 5k and September, we'll push you and I'll walk it and they're like, well, yeah, but like, we'll push you as no big deal. And you know, when that guy like that gets hit, one, obviously frustrated and angry, you don't know why it happened, but two, it's like, well, geez, if he didn't get hit or taken out, you know, it kind of takes you down to confidence a pegrot, pegrot too as well because he's a guy you wouldn't expect. I'm like, I know you, uh, think you're not going to go, but you better jump out of this plane and you're like, you know, and I said, I told you you were going and then back with shirt back with pants. So deep that was eight foot deep pits and there was a living room, uh, two, 40 pit, a 50 cow pit, um, uh, like a little dying kitchen area and then like three sleeping pits, like three like that two cops would fit in. Also, YouTube, if you like the video or want to watch the video version of this podcast, see what Travis looks like, see what Jockel looks like, see what I look like if you're into that. And I think if you're if you're calling home every day, then you're like, you're you're missing and you're connecting and just like, no, like you said, let it build, have something to talk about real, and what does that get to know? And then they were said we're going to go there for like, you know, three days, do reconnaissance come back and they're like, you know what we're going to say there. And they were right from I had a lot of tests I had to do for like, you know, a possible age idea or things like that because it was just like they were just taking and putting it right in. And then a little bit goes to like four scumboards like with 10 a day and like, no, what the hell, you know, why did I live through this? A lot of guys didn't come back like me and I get sometimes people like, well, we just didn't see people like you during the Vietnam where it just had so sad this happened. I didn't want to like, my brother and I was like, you got a call, you know, Kelsey, you got a car and mom and dad. And the other thing was, I didn't like doing a PLF, which is the proper way to land, which is you keep your feet knees together, and then you like act like you have one big leg, and that's the way you're supposed to prevent getting injured, break in your ankle or knee or whatever. I mean, later on, that point, we had like stakes on like one day a week, they'd bring out like these frozen stakes. Um, um, that one of the guys on the MetaVac bird, like, wrote a wrote a Facebook to Kelsey and was explaining, you know, what it was like and and, uh, yeah, I mean, here's what he wrote. But what I liked about that from like a broader perspective than just airborne school is like so often, man, people just need to like go. Just like what, like glucose, I mean, could it was all like, basically all the stuff that you have been taking four years. And so, and you know another thing is, you know, you got all this stuff going on, and then your wife's like, you won't believe this What is it like a little, uh, former like like house or something? Well, turns out where we were rolling all of our, like, big barrels for the generator and stuff like that was like, it was all booey trap. I'm like sergeant major, if I change the pants, I'm like another pair of looks just like this. And I'm just like, still jack from looking at the weights and I'm like, you know, you're not going to look at my kid. And then I was like watching the silver wets above me, they're like, pull your reserve bells and they're like, okay. I was like to give people that didn't serve a little, you know, impression or of what it's like and I thought this wouldn't wrap that up pretty good. You know, not even like, you know, it's nutsax hanging off the light and is, you know, but he's just the truck's not hurting. But like a lot of guys in the military, you're young, and you're like, you know what, we're getting married. They called the blue book in the army, but it's like, if I die, you know, I want my reddering, I want picture of my life and I'm a kid or, you know, I want this music to play. where but I got it, so I took my weapon off, and I am for, you know, as I hear, hold this for me, I tossed in my M4, because there's just, you know, it gets in the way, you know, I ran down, and then the A and A were on the riverbank, right, kind of right behind me. You know, but, you know, at that time, I guess, maybe it was easier for me to like think about everything else going on except for myself. He's like, he told his mom a day, he's like, look, I know how it looks. So, we decided, me and two other guys, three other guys, we're going to head just like, try to head and walk faster, and everybody else, and like, made it back to the fob first to get a, get a m wrap to come get them. What we shot through all my rounds one, and one of the things we shot through all the 7, 6, 2 rounds, was like, oh, this is so much like lighter, and I got to another spot, and one of my, my guy's Brandon, Feste, we've won the guy's with me later on, but he was almost knocked. He's like, well, no, I just, you know, because I, I'm on the five all the time, I just, I mean, I love, I want to see a gun, you know, I hope we're getting a firefight. We, you know, luckily we didn't take the property to, you know, I'd like to, I think after the march, that guy's got it. But, um, the first, like, you know, five, six months, I was just like, no lights at this time. So it'd just be really, you know, so we're like trying to put our uniforms on and everything and said like just our t-shirts. But yeah, it wasn't like, everyone that was joining the military, it's not like when you guys joined, your generation of people joined, you knew you were going to war. You know, the wide eye, like, oh, no, it's like, that's not okay. I don't know why, you know, you said there any question like, am I going to be a burden on my family? Yeah, and they were like, yeah, we had like a Marciac guy got shot in the head when he was up there. And then finally like an October I was home for Thanksgiving and North Carolina at my house at Fort Bragg and I was just like, you know what? You know, like, oh, I'm all holding her in that or something like I can't drink. But, you know, a lot of questions are, you know, when you're sitting in the hotel room, I mean, a hospital bed, you know, in the hospital room and you just got started to see me all the time. And I was like, oh, you must be a dumbass, you know, I'm like, I am. It's like some movie that that six, I don't know what that is, but they're like, if Dream Amy the man I am today. and I said something along those lines and like somebody said like, I think it's kind of weird that you say it's a good time and fun In my gym, we'll be like, oh, yeah, well, you know, while we'll meet 23, you know, oh, That's not like, it's like, you know how you say when you when you pick up a person and they're just dead weight, similar to that. You know, the Colin home thing, I think is, is, I don't know how often you call to home, but I try to call them like once a week. But you're just, you know, say it like, hoping to get shot, but you're just like, well, that's part of what happens. After I first firefight, like two of the guys that came from a different after unit were like, look, I didn't get while you were the squad leader, I didn't get how you got E6. And you know, by like we taught her like seven to my nine o'clock, she's tying it by herself. You know, like, you could easily marry like Satan.

Most common words

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is Jocco podcast number 90.
[00:00:04] With echo Charles and me, Jocco Willink.
[00:00:07] Good evening, I go.
[00:00:08] Good evening.
[00:00:09] As my wife Tori mentioned, this past week has been one of the most challenging of my life.
[00:00:22] I want to say thanks to my friends and family for your support.
[00:00:26] You really have no idea how a much a few words of encouragement can mean when you are
[00:00:32] at a time in place like this.
[00:00:35] Thanks again.
[00:00:38] My platoon is in a very active area of operations in southern Afghanistan.
[00:00:44] Our mission is to close with and destroy the enemy.
[00:00:47] There is no outside the wire here because there is no wire.
[00:00:54] My boys are simply always on alert.
[00:00:59] We haven't had a shower since we've been in Afghanistan.
[00:01:02] We've run nonstop missions and have been very successful at accomplishing these without
[00:01:08] experiencing any injuries to our own.
[00:01:14] I'm just trying to paint a picture of life here and not trying to make you feel sorry for
[00:01:19] us.
[00:01:21] Trust me, I belong here with these guys and we are a family.
[00:01:30] Rather, I want to paint a picture because I'd like to tell you about Travis Mills.
[00:01:36] I know you don't know him, but it would mean a lot to me to be able to spread his story.
[00:01:44] My platoon's string of missions without injury came to an abrupt and violent end last week
[00:01:49] when we had dismounted ID during combat operations.
[00:01:55] I had three paratroopers injured from the blast.
[00:02:00] One was minor, one was severe, and one was simply beyond words.
[00:02:10] The most severe injury was sustained by my weapon squad leader, Travis Big Mills.
[00:02:19] I'd like to take the opportunity to tell you about him.
[00:02:23] Even under the conditions that I've described, he is the best of us.
[00:02:28] He was the biggest guy in the platoon and has the biggest heart to go with it.
[00:02:33] He was eager to please and always cheer this up.
[00:02:38] He led from the front and was injured because of it.
[00:02:42] He preferred that he take the injury over any man in his squad.
[00:02:49] He was the most fearless person I have ever seen in combat.
[00:02:56] When we weren't in combat, he was great to have around.
[00:03:00] He woke up every morning and sang a bunch of different songs to us.
[00:03:05] Usually Kasia or Britney Spears were the songs of some other girl band.
[00:03:12] We had this ritual.
[00:03:13] Anytime we finished a patrol where we had a fire fight, once we returned to the strong
[00:03:17] point, he'd run to the front of the formation and sing songs about the 82nd Airborne.
[00:03:24] He would do dance gestures and all.
[00:03:27] He even did it for the brigade commander when he came to visit.
[00:03:32] It was a big hit.
[00:03:35] I laughed at how or he laughed at how serious I am and how I don't like to be touched.
[00:03:42] So, he made it his personal mission to make me laugh.
[00:03:47] Usually this involved an overly aggressive and a little too intimate manhug followed
[00:03:53] by a middle school style dance where he'd grind on me.
[00:03:59] He kept me sane.
[00:04:02] I laughed at his antics constantly.
[00:04:05] In combat, there is no one we would rather have been with.
[00:04:11] He risked his life to save others constantly and I can recall two times specifically
[00:04:15] where he literally saved me.
[00:04:20] Needless to say, I took his injury hard, including the personal guilt that'll be
[00:04:25] your feels when he is responsible for his men.
[00:04:29] So I wanted to tell you these things.
[00:04:34] Everyone is asking how I'm doing.
[00:04:37] Yes, I am hurting.
[00:04:41] But you know I'm going to be okay.
[00:04:44] More importantly, Travis is going to be okay.
[00:04:49] The truth is, obviously things here are so terrible that I'll never be able to put them
[00:04:53] into words.
[00:04:54] Travis is injury being at the top of the list.
[00:05:00] But I've also seen things here so wonderful that I'll never be able to put them into words
[00:05:04] either.
[00:05:07] I know that sounds crazy, but it's true.
[00:05:11] How do you put into words this spirit like the one I've just described in big
[00:05:15] mills?
[00:05:19] The reality of it is that I have the honor of leading people like Travis.
[00:05:25] There are many more in my platoon just like him.
[00:05:31] So while I've seen some things I'd like to never talk about again.
[00:05:35] I've seen just as many that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to explain to anyone who
[00:05:40] will listen.
[00:05:43] I've seen a tremendous love and care between brothers that have only each other to rely on
[00:05:52] and have only one care to bring each other home.
[00:06:00] It's a selfless, deep, everlasting bond that I consider myself lucky and absolutely
[00:06:05] privileged to be a part of.
[00:06:11] Thank you so much again for your support, but know that I am fine.
[00:06:17] I am exactly where I need to be right now.
[00:06:22] My family here is taking care of each other and we will persevere as one.
[00:06:36] Now that is a letter that was written to friends and family at home from Lieutenant Zach
[00:06:48] Lewis, commander of 1st platoon, Bravo Troop, 4703 Cavalry Squadron, 4th Brigade Combat
[00:06:59] to the team of the 82nd Airborne Division, the All-Americans.
[00:07:09] I think that letter describes staff sergeant Travis Mills as only a fellow platoon member
[00:07:19] could.
[00:07:23] Explaining his unbelievably positive attitude is courage under fire and is unwavering leadership.
[00:07:39] And tonight I am honored beyond words to have the man that Lieutenant Lewis spoke of.
[00:07:49] Travis Mills here with us to talk through his experiences on the battlefield and off.
[00:08:02] Travis, welcome to the show.
[00:08:05] Good evening.
[00:08:06] Thank you for having me.
[00:08:08] That now I am going to say this upfront.
[00:08:10] I was a little nervous about having you on because this show has a reputation of being
[00:08:20] very serious and very solemn and I know that you have an issue with both of those terms
[00:08:28] in a broad perspective.
[00:08:31] So for those of you that haven't heard anything from Travis before, there's not a lot
[00:08:38] of serious stuff that Travis does.
[00:08:44] So serious comedian and hilarious guy with an incredible attitude.
[00:08:53] Welcome to the show man.
[00:08:54] Thanks for coming on.
[00:08:55] Thank you so much.
[00:08:56] I'll do my best to be serious.
[00:08:59] I think my altitude described it very well and that letter he wrote to his family.
[00:09:03] I made sure that I would cap the spirits up and I would hug him and everything like that,
[00:09:08] but under fire was a whole different person.
[00:09:10] Yeah.
[00:09:11] No, I thought he did a great job of capturing what everyone's feeling over there.
[00:09:15] And I didn't go in Afghanistan, but what is this similar to what we'd feel when I rack?
[00:09:21] And you know, I talk about this a lot about the fact that this is why guys miss combat.
[00:09:27] But you know, you miss combat, even though it's when you're over there and you're in this
[00:09:31] crappy situation and you're like, oh, I can't wait to get home, but then when you get home,
[00:09:35] you have that little thing in the back of your mind that says, that misses that com
[00:09:39] rotter, which only comes from that place.
[00:09:42] So he did a good job of describing that.
[00:09:45] So I think to understand where a man ends up, we kind of got to understand where a man
[00:09:52] comes from, so going back to the beginning, the young Travis Mills, the young Travis Mills.
[00:10:05] And you know how you grew up and all that.
[00:10:10] Talk a little bit about that.
[00:10:11] Yeah, I'm from Michigan.
[00:10:13] When I go around and I speak throughout the nation, I always say, is anybody from Ohio
[00:10:17] before I tell my permission, and I yell, oh, oh, wait, and then they yell, oh, I go and
[00:10:20] get real passionate and then I yell sucks.
[00:10:24] You know, and I get some booze, but I'm from a small town in Michigan right around the
[00:10:28] thumb area.
[00:10:29] I grew up playing football, basketball, baseball.
[00:10:32] I have an older sister younger brother.
[00:10:34] My parents are phenomenal people and, you know, just good wholesome values.
[00:10:38] And then I went to college to play football after high school was over and decided that
[00:10:43] probably wasn't a right time for me to go to college and take a serious.
[00:10:46] So I went to the...
[00:10:47] So, hold on.
[00:10:48] I'm playing three sports in high school.
[00:10:51] And I got a quote from your book in here, by the way.
[00:10:55] I'm going to read it.
[00:10:58] I was the fun kid who lived at the end of your block.
[00:11:01] I was big for my age and for a lot of boyhood years, I had a big gap between my two
[00:11:06] front teeth.
[00:11:07] Yep.
[00:11:08] Now is that a negative thing?
[00:11:11] Um, no, not at all.
[00:11:13] Okay, because some of us at the table here still have a gap between our four teachers.
[00:11:17] I'm just saying.
[00:11:18] Oh, I'm on the sides now, right?
[00:11:20] Yeah, I do.
[00:11:21] But I like to wear my hair shaved and a buzz cup, particularly in the summers when it
[00:11:27] got hot with that OP Taylor kind of look.
[00:11:30] I fit into small town America.
[00:11:33] And you did karate, by the way.
[00:11:36] You're looking at the 1993 cry state champion.
[00:11:39] I should get a match.
[00:11:41] I was six, but...
[00:11:44] That's it.
[00:11:45] It's not a competitive age bracket for karate championships.
[00:11:47] I just spent a back kick.
[00:11:49] I just read over the rest of the match.
[00:11:50] Breaking ribs.
[00:11:52] Actually, you had a contest here.
[00:11:55] I'm going to read about it.
[00:11:56] It wasn't all easy.
[00:11:57] And one of my first karate matches I got kicked hard in the sternum and couldn't breathe.
[00:12:01] I gasped pan and tried to suck air.
[00:12:03] When my normal breathing didn't return immediately, I raised my hand and four fitted the
[00:12:07] match.
[00:12:08] I'm kind of disappointed.
[00:12:10] My dad rushed over.
[00:12:12] Travis, what are you doing?
[00:12:13] You four for the match.
[00:12:14] You never four for the match.
[00:12:15] No matter how hard you're hurting, you never quit ever.
[00:12:19] Yeah, my dad was as disappointed in me too.
[00:12:23] So I never did again.
[00:12:24] And then I just, I don't know.
[00:12:25] I just went hard to rest of that after that.
[00:12:27] I just, I don't know my dad taught me good values.
[00:12:29] My mom took karate with me.
[00:12:31] So don't mess with your mom either.
[00:12:34] No, no.
[00:12:35] Well, yeah, don't.
[00:12:37] She's just five foot two.
[00:12:38] The 125 pounds.
[00:12:40] How did she produce your big ass?
[00:12:42] I don't know.
[00:12:43] How tall was your dad?
[00:12:45] Five, 11.
[00:12:46] No kiddo.
[00:12:47] Yeah.
[00:12:48] Yeah.
[00:12:49] But I was six foot three when I was at my walk around weight.
[00:12:52] And the first match I ever had, I had a girl and she beat me.
[00:12:55] Because I went and hit her.
[00:12:56] Yeah.
[00:12:57] And then I was cleared to like, hit girls and I thought that.
[00:12:59] Okay, so next time I thought I went to town on, you know, just put a weapon.
[00:13:03] And now I know you don't hit girls either way.
[00:13:06] Yeah.
[00:13:07] So I learned, you know.
[00:13:08] That's a loose, loose situation.
[00:13:09] But then your mom told you no go hit her.
[00:13:11] Yeah.
[00:13:12] That's what it says in the book.
[00:13:13] It was like, hey, listen, you gotta go beat her up.
[00:13:15] Well, okay.
[00:13:16] So it was competition.
[00:13:18] And she was in my, you know, they didn't have this separate gender brackets.
[00:13:21] So everybody was the same.
[00:13:22] And the first girl I faced, I went and hit and I lost about.
[00:13:25] And then the next girl after that, my mom was like, you can, you can hit them.
[00:13:28] I was like, oh, okay.
[00:13:30] So I just like, you're going down.
[00:13:32] I'm gonna have to.
[00:13:33] And I went after it.
[00:13:35] Oh, that's jacked up man.
[00:13:37] I mean, I was six.
[00:13:39] I mean, I had, yeah, yeah.
[00:13:40] Yeah.
[00:13:41] You know.
[00:13:42] That was seven for me.
[00:13:43] The football team Vince Leville.
[00:13:50] Did I say that right?
[00:13:51] I love you, eh.
[00:13:52] Okay.
[00:13:53] Well, you know, I'm not way about it.
[00:13:54] So much of a French speaker over on my hand.
[00:13:56] Oh, whatever that language is.
[00:13:57] It's not known as name.
[00:13:58] I would have said the same thing.
[00:13:59] Here's how he described you.
[00:14:01] The first time I met Travis using middle school at Track Meat.
[00:14:04] I'd heard about him.
[00:14:05] So I went over to watch him.
[00:14:06] He won the shop put, which meant he was strong.
[00:14:08] Then he ran over, then he ran over to the 100 yard hurdles and won.
[00:14:12] Those, which meant he was fast.
[00:14:13] You don't see that combination a lot.
[00:14:15] I knew that this kid was going to be a special athlete.
[00:14:17] In high school, he became a superstar.
[00:14:19] Three sport athlete, baseball, basketball, and football.
[00:14:22] He was the leader on each team and made first team all conference in all three sports.
[00:14:27] With football, he was definitely a big cog in our team's wheel.
[00:14:30] We were the smallest going our conference and we got beat up for a lot of years.
[00:14:34] But his junior year Travis and his friends got into weightlifting and powerlifting and
[00:14:38] went to all the football camps.
[00:14:40] The year we won the conference championship and made the playoffs for the first time ever.
[00:14:45] Travis's work ethic motivated everybody.
[00:14:48] Everybody got stronger because Travis was their leader.
[00:14:52] Jack and Steel.
[00:14:53] What's your champions, dude?
[00:14:55] First time we were in the playoffs.
[00:14:57] How did you, what made you start lifting?
[00:15:00] Coach, that V.A. and when I was in seventh grade, he said that after school, if I wasn't
[00:15:06] playing a sport, I had to go to the flates.
[00:15:09] He was a vice principal, the high school, so having friends in high places is nice.
[00:15:13] When you're getting trouble, you don't really get in trouble.
[00:15:16] The story in there about me getting trouble in class, freshman year.
[00:15:21] Where'd you do?
[00:15:22] I don't really, I broke a childish, never mind.
[00:15:27] But just tell us what you did.
[00:15:28] It's in the book, you know, I was performing now.
[00:15:30] My buddy fired in class, I kicked in the hallway, so then my other buddy did, so I wanted
[00:15:33] to go out there, so I found a lot of that one rip, so I can go out in the hallway.
[00:15:37] Take a send to the office, but you just like, guys, knock it off.
[00:15:39] You can't do this anymore.
[00:15:40] Too much protein powder?
[00:15:41] Oh, that's all, yeah, so my buddy, Eric, he got his parents, I'm very competitive, like
[00:15:47] mine were.
[00:15:48] And we were both the team captain and stars of the show, if he will, so I went home and
[00:15:52] said, hey, can I get some cell attack in nitro attack?
[00:15:54] And it was before like the had the rally regulations on it.
[00:15:57] And my parents like, no, he can't do that.
[00:15:58] I'm like, well, Eric's parents let him get it.
[00:16:01] Maybe wasn't true.
[00:16:02] Eric went home to the same thing to his parents, so we both got to get on those.
[00:16:06] And I mean, you know, protein powder.
[00:16:07] Yeah.
[00:16:08] That's going to disrupt science class.
[00:16:10] Yeah.
[00:16:11] We beat it.
[00:16:12] But no, I mean, it was fun.
[00:16:14] Everybody, I worked at a grocery store after the football games, the old man would come in,
[00:16:19] drink coffee and hang out with me.
[00:16:21] And my boss just like the owner of the storage accepted it.
[00:16:23] Like the wives would shop and I was like, you get away with it.
[00:16:25] Yeah, I was at the water cooler, but it was a coffee pot.
[00:16:28] And we just hang out.
[00:16:29] And the time when I did wrong, why did right?
[00:16:31] Very varsity, varsity blues, tile.
[00:16:34] Right, right.
[00:16:35] Yeah, I saw some video footage of you at those games.
[00:16:38] There was like madness at those games.
[00:16:40] Well, the one run I had was it looked pretty good on the film.
[00:16:43] Yeah, it looked pretty good to me.
[00:16:44] It's one time I did anything special.
[00:16:47] So you get done with your senior year of football.
[00:16:51] And did you maintain the high level of discipline in your grades after that point?
[00:16:55] No.
[00:16:56] No.
[00:16:57] Actually, I broke up with the girlfriend at the four point, oh.
[00:17:00] Oh.
[00:17:01] So my grades went right down.
[00:17:02] Yeah.
[00:17:03] No more study partner.
[00:17:04] No more like she would help you homework.
[00:17:06] Yeah, being the same class and right left handed for the scratch work.
[00:17:09] Hand to me.
[00:17:10] Sorry, right nothing like that.
[00:17:13] And so that that man, did you get looked at?
[00:17:16] Did you get looked at for college ball?
[00:17:18] I did.
[00:17:19] I had a couple of offers for baseball and football.
[00:17:22] D2, couple D1, smaller D1.
[00:17:25] And for some reason, my guidance counselor, he just, I think he just knew Mr. Simpson.
[00:17:29] Great guy.
[00:17:30] He kind of figured I wasn't going to like college and be disciplined enough.
[00:17:33] So he's like, what about this community college?
[00:17:34] It's a really good.
[00:17:36] You can go there and play football.
[00:17:38] And I decided to go there and I just, I mean, I was cut off for football.
[00:17:42] I wasn't cut off for the study in there at that time in my life.
[00:17:46] Right.
[00:17:47] And so you went there for one year?
[00:17:48] Some Esther.
[00:17:49] One semester.
[00:17:50] And then my girlfriend was like, you should move home.
[00:17:51] So I did.
[00:17:52] Yeah.
[00:17:53] And then I met her boyfriend Colin.
[00:17:54] So then I joined the army.
[00:17:57] You look back in my life.
[00:17:58] How does happen?
[00:17:59] Yeah.
[00:18:00] It's her fault.
[00:18:01] Colin.
[00:18:02] What's your calling lately?
[00:18:03] I haven't talked.
[00:18:04] I haven't.
[00:18:05] Yeah.
[00:18:06] We all look him up.
[00:18:07] I mean, he worked at a, you know, the pop up golf course when I found everything out.
[00:18:11] So I grew up in my body up and went over there in the manager's place like Phantom home.
[00:18:15] Why did you tell you to come home?
[00:18:17] This is because I could be by her, I guess.
[00:18:18] I don't know.
[00:18:19] And then I was like, hey, what's this about?
[00:18:21] And then she found a broke down to home.
[00:18:22] And I was like, oh, hey, did you know the army was taking people and giving bonuses?
[00:18:25] Yeah.
[00:18:26] Because you were dead.
[00:18:27] You were, you ran up.
[00:18:28] I was, you know, it was about 10 grand in debt for me in the college.
[00:18:31] But that was for the whole year.
[00:18:32] So the baseball coach asked me to play there too.
[00:18:34] Day.
[00:18:35] Um, yeah.
[00:18:36] But then you, uh, you're in debt.
[00:18:39] You're, um, Colin was on the scene now that kind of threw a loop.
[00:18:44] So you see, you're in up during the army.
[00:18:45] I joined the army.
[00:18:46] I went to all their crewters and the army had the best thing going.
[00:18:49] Which was cash.
[00:18:50] $24,000.
[00:18:51] You're not money's at today.
[00:18:53] No idea.
[00:18:54] Yeah.
[00:18:55] Yeah.
[00:18:56] Does, did Budweiser get any of that money?
[00:18:58] You know, no.
[00:18:59] No.
[00:19:00] I'm actually, I'm not a beer.
[00:19:01] Not a booser.
[00:19:02] Oh, whoa.
[00:19:03] Oh, whoa.
[00:19:04] Oh, whoa.
[00:19:05] Oh, no.
[00:19:06] No, that's not good.
[00:19:07] That far.
[00:19:08] I'm a whiskey fan.
[00:19:09] Okay.
[00:19:10] But, uh, no, I mean, I just, I saw a way to pay my bills back.
[00:19:14] I saw a way to travel and do some more fun stuff.
[00:19:16] I went there to be in like Tritian.
[00:19:17] And they showed me airborne videos.
[00:19:19] I was like, I want that.
[00:19:20] Oh, yeah.
[00:19:21] Deal.
[00:19:22] Deal.
[00:19:23] What's that called?
[00:19:24] Bait and sweatshirt.
[00:19:25] Yeah.
[00:19:26] Yeah.
[00:19:27] But I really want to do is I want to get a good, um, thing, you know, when I can carry on in this
[00:19:28] feeling life and have a good trade that you have that I can bring back this feeling.
[00:19:31] I don't know what they're like, watch this video.
[00:19:33] You're like, yes.
[00:19:34] Yes.
[00:19:35] That's me.
[00:19:36] That's all.
[00:19:37] So, it showed you an, uh, is it like airborne recruiting video?
[00:19:40] Um, well, to be honest with you, I was a ranger, regimen, recruiting video and I signed
[00:19:45] up for all that, but then all the rumors were like, if you don't make it, you're going
[00:19:48] to create a, and I'm like, I don't want to go to Korea.
[00:19:50] Yeah.
[00:19:51] And then 22 of my friends went to Fort Bragg because you got to pick a dude's stations
[00:19:55] they were filling up the new brigades.
[00:19:56] Yeah.
[00:19:57] And they're like, oh, you guys, we need you to fill in here and you can pick where you go.
[00:20:00] So, all of us from basic training went.
[00:20:01] Because what year was this?
[00:20:02] Uh, 2006.
[00:20:03] Oh, yeah.
[00:20:04] So, that's, so that's totally different from me because I joined the Navy in 1990.
[00:20:08] Oh, yeah.
[00:20:09] That's before I was even a cry stage champion.
[00:20:11] Yeah.
[00:20:12] Yeah.
[00:20:13] We're talking all this.
[00:20:14] Yeah.
[00:20:15] So, there was no war going on.
[00:20:16] And even though in my mind, I always thought like the seals were just like fighting
[00:20:20] wars worldwide at all times, which was not true.
[00:20:24] But I thought that.
[00:20:25] But yeah, it wasn't like, everyone that was joining the military, it's not like when you
[00:20:29] guys joined, your generation of people joined, you knew you were going to war.
[00:20:32] Oh, absolutely.
[00:20:33] 100%.
[00:20:34] You know, the biggest regret I actually do have and not to kiss up to what you've done,
[00:20:39] but it's not tried to go to the Rangers or Ghost Special Forces or to see, like,
[00:20:44] I didn't even try, I wish I would have.
[00:20:46] Well, you would have, did you start thinking about that further in your career?
[00:20:49] Absolutely.
[00:20:50] I was going to come back and I was either going to go to Cruder and get my last year
[00:20:54] and a half a college.
[00:20:55] I went to college when I could.
[00:20:56] I took college out on investments.
[00:20:58] And I was going to try to go recruited to go ahead and get my degree and then go to the
[00:21:03] Special Operations World because if you don't do it that way, if you become an officer,
[00:21:07] you got to go back through the queue.
[00:21:08] Okay.
[00:21:09] But there's either going to be go rights to Special Operations and try that out or go
[00:21:14] become an officer and then go.
[00:21:16] But yeah, just, you know, I don't know.
[00:21:19] I have no excuses for that.
[00:21:20] It's a weird thing.
[00:21:21] It's a weird thing.
[00:21:22] And I don't really like, anybody, like, I was, if you compare you as an athlete in high school
[00:21:28] and me as an athlete in high school, it's not even comparable.
[00:21:30] You were like 10 times the athlete I was.
[00:21:33] For some reason, I was stupid enough to think like I can make it through that training.
[00:21:37] And you weren't smart enough to go like, I can make that through the training.
[00:21:40] Because you would.
[00:21:41] And the saddest thing is with the whole the Ranger contract I had and all these guys were
[00:21:45] going and I got talked to my buddies and going in Fort Bragg.
[00:21:48] I ran to the bunch of them and they're like, oh yeah, we made it.
[00:21:49] I was like, oh my gosh, I could have, I was, you know, I was interested in it.
[00:21:53] It's an interesting, it's an interesting, it's actually humility.
[00:21:56] It's you being like, hey man, you know, I don't know, I played football and baseball and
[00:22:02] ran track.
[00:22:03] Was that right?
[00:22:04] Well, I'm basketball.
[00:22:05] Football baseball and basketball.
[00:22:07] I'm a great athlete, but I might not make it through.
[00:22:09] That's actually a form of humility, you know?
[00:22:12] I think it is.
[00:22:13] I was just, yeah, I don't know where I had was that.
[00:22:14] I just, I, you know, looking back now, I'm embarrassed about it a little bit.
[00:22:17] I wish I, I wish I were to went and try it out.
[00:22:19] I mean, I live a really good life.
[00:22:21] I have a wonderful life and everything.
[00:22:22] Not to jump ahead.
[00:22:23] Two beautiful children.
[00:22:24] So life's good.
[00:22:25] His bad is a situation.
[00:22:27] I, you know, I found myself in an April of 2012, but look back, I wish I would have tried
[00:22:33] something.
[00:22:34] Yeah.
[00:22:35] Yeah.
[00:22:36] I mean, but the 80 second airborne is which is where you ended up is freaking awesome
[00:22:39] unit.
[00:22:40] Oh, yeah.
[00:22:41] I mean, I think it's cool.
[00:22:42] And everybody's like, all about standards.
[00:22:44] How do you like, and this is something I, because a lot of people that listen to podcast,
[00:22:49] they join the military, believe it or not.
[00:22:51] And like, we just met a guy the other day who's going to September 18th going to the
[00:22:55] Marine Corps.
[00:22:56] But I always want to tell them like, when you show up to boot camp, it's going to be
[00:23:01] a shock to your system.
[00:23:02] Right?
[00:23:03] I mean, it is going to be, you're going to lack of sleep.
[00:23:04] It's not going to be stuff that you're used to.
[00:23:06] It, it sounds like you got a little, you know, shock to your system.
[00:23:09] You showed up there of just normal military stuff.
[00:23:12] And I guess my point in saying that is when you show up to boot camp, boot camp is not going
[00:23:17] to be fun for you.
[00:23:18] It's going to be a transition.
[00:23:19] I mean, you can mentally prepare all day.
[00:23:21] You know, and then you get yelled at and you're like, why is it guy always?
[00:23:23] Yeah.
[00:23:24] I didn't, I didn't do any wrong.
[00:23:25] Leave me alone.
[00:23:26] They made me eat coldslaw.
[00:23:28] I don't even like coldslaw.
[00:23:29] I mean, the first thing like I come out and they're like, I guess coldslaw, if I
[00:23:33] launch, I'm like shit.
[00:23:34] I don't.
[00:23:35] I don't.
[00:23:36] So they put it on my plate.
[00:23:37] And then after I eat the coldslaw, I eat first.
[00:23:38] I'm like, he must be eating this for the reason.
[00:23:40] So I'm just just, do this.
[00:23:41] And then the next time I dinner, I'm like, okay, finally no coldslaw.
[00:23:43] It's like, middle is a big bastard.
[00:23:45] You, first, I remember you, you get to school.
[00:23:47] You're coldslaw.
[00:23:48] Yeah.
[00:23:51] Right.
[00:23:52] You know, so.
[00:23:53] Yeah.
[00:23:54] Yeah.
[00:23:55] That's, that's bootcamp, right?
[00:23:56] Yeah.
[00:23:57] That's pretty good.
[00:23:58] I always felt when I talked to people that are going, I'm like, just play the game.
[00:24:00] Yeah.
[00:24:01] Understand, it's going to end and make the army.
[00:24:02] What you can make it.
[00:24:03] Like, make it work for you.
[00:24:04] Understand the job you're getting yourself into.
[00:24:06] And things like that because people ask, would you still join if you know what happened?
[00:24:09] I said, yeah, absolutely I would.
[00:24:11] I enjoyed every second.
[00:24:13] I was going to be a 20 year guy.
[00:24:14] I figured I really listed it.
[00:24:16] And just, you know.
[00:24:17] It's cool.
[00:24:18] This is a cool thing that you wrote kind of as you're wrapping a bootcamp.
[00:24:22] You're thinking about September 11th.
[00:24:24] You know, like I said, that for you is one of you clearly knew that going in in 2006.
[00:24:29] And here's what you said.
[00:24:30] I remember feeling a ragged mix of emotions, anger, confusion, dismay, and wondering why anybody would want to do this to us.
[00:24:38] I was American.
[00:24:40] I understood we'd been attacked and that our country was now at war.
[00:24:44] And that when there's a war, somebody needs to have the courage and intestinal where we're fall to do the actual defending, fighting, and unavoidable killing that a company military actions.
[00:24:58] That would turn out to be me.
[00:25:02] And that's another thing that people need to think about if you're doing it in the military.
[00:25:06] And I've gone through this with a bunch of people that, you know, this happened a year long time ago.
[00:25:09] This parent, you know, said, can you come talk to my son and he really wants to be a seal?
[00:25:13] And I was like, yeah, sure, no problem.
[00:25:15] And so I meet this kid, strapping young kid, looks super happy and positive, and he does water polo, and he's a great athlete.
[00:25:22] And he's like, I really want to join the seal teams.
[00:25:24] You know, what advice do you have from him?
[00:25:26] Are you ready to kill people?
[00:25:28] And are you ready to die?
[00:25:29] And it was like the whole room got wild just them too, but they're looking at me like, I'm crazy.
[00:25:33] But my point was, like, that's what the military is.
[00:25:38] You kill people in your risk of your life.
[00:25:40] That's what the military is.
[00:25:42] I mean, yeah, absolutely, they have the combat and non-combat MMSs, you know, just in every
[00:25:48] Every service.
[00:25:49] So with the seal teams with the infantry, that's what your job is.
[00:25:52] And you're willing to risk your life for others.
[00:25:55] I mean, it's just when I signed up, I was like, yeah, I'm ready to do this, but you never really understand everything.
[00:26:00] And then when you go through base training, they show you all these videos.
[00:26:03] And a lot of it, they showed a lot of band of brother stuff, which is what got me interested in going into the military.
[00:26:08] And I just took it as like, this is what I was wanting to do.
[00:26:12] This is awesome.
[00:26:13] But I get what you're saying.
[00:26:14] And people ask me, can you talk to myself, I'm not a doing this?
[00:26:16] No, no, no.
[00:26:18] You can't talk to people.
[00:26:20] You're young man on a doing this stuff.
[00:26:22] You're fine people that want to tell you, like, well, I was going to join, but then I did this.
[00:26:25] And I'm like, I don't care.
[00:26:27] Like, don't, you know, and everybody I talked to, not everybody, but I've got to talk to
[00:26:30] They got to give me their worst story possible.
[00:26:32] And I'm like, oh, I got a brother's friend that lost two legs, you know,
[00:26:36] and a bear trap.
[00:26:38] Okay.
[00:26:39] So I know what you're going through.
[00:26:41] I don't, okay.
[00:26:43] That works for me, I guess.
[00:26:45] Do you watch out for them bear traps?
[00:26:47] I know, sneak up on you.
[00:26:48] My brother's friend.
[00:26:49] That was crazy.
[00:26:50] I met him one time, but I give what your, I don't know exactly what you're doing.
[00:26:53] Okay.
[00:26:54] Dude, this cracked me up.
[00:26:56] You're at Airborne School.
[00:26:58] Most, you're, you're doing your first jumps.
[00:27:00] You five jumps at Airborne School.
[00:27:02] Most back to the book, most were without incident,
[00:27:04] except my third jump, which was supposed to be a daytime combat jump with full gear.
[00:27:08] On the way down, I dropped my rocks act too slowly.
[00:27:10] You're supposed to release it when you come to the tree line,
[00:27:13] but when I release the pack, it stayed just ahead of me,
[00:27:15] and I landed on top of the metal frame.
[00:27:18] Frame.
[00:27:19] Ouch, I yelled in pain.
[00:27:20] The jump master was already on the ground and yelled back at me.
[00:27:23] Did you bring something private Mills?
[00:27:25] I said, no, he glared at me and added,
[00:27:28] the shut up.
[00:27:29] I shut up.
[00:27:30] Airborne School's real good.
[00:27:33] Airborne School's really funny.
[00:27:34] And so this is what happened to me at Airborne School.
[00:27:36] I was, for if, I'm not like,
[00:27:38] I'm a person that falls fast through the air when parachuting.
[00:27:42] I don't know why.
[00:27:43] I'm just one of those people.
[00:27:44] You don't float.
[00:27:45] No, I don't float.
[00:27:46] And the other thing was, I didn't like doing a PLF,
[00:27:50] which is the proper way to land,
[00:27:52] which is you keep your feet knees together,
[00:27:53] and then you like act like you have one big leg,
[00:27:55] and that's the way you're supposed to prevent getting injured,
[00:27:58] break in your ankle or knee or whatever.
[00:28:00] And so when I was parachuting at Airborne School,
[00:28:02] I wasn't really doing a PLF.
[00:28:03] I was just kind of athletically landing on my feet, right?
[00:28:06] So anyways, they got these loudspeakers down on the field.
[00:28:11] And as all these new guys, all of us are just new.
[00:28:13] And the guys on the megaphone, he goes,
[00:28:15] and he's talking to me because my feet are apart.
[00:28:17] And I'm just going to do an athletic lady goes.
[00:28:19] Feet knees together, Airborne.
[00:28:21] Feet knees together, Airborne.
[00:28:22] Feet knees together, Airborne.
[00:28:23] Feet knees together, Airborne.
[00:28:24] You all right, Airborne?
[00:28:26] So, yeah, I thought that was funny.
[00:28:30] Did it hurt?
[00:28:33] No, I didn't get hurt.
[00:28:34] That's impressive.
[00:28:35] Because I was actually a jump master.
[00:28:38] Very towards the end of my military.
[00:28:40] Yeah, that was in.
[00:28:41] And got the balls of feet calf.
[00:28:44] I had an ulna that you dialed.
[00:28:46] Those instructors, how long is the jump master school
[00:28:49] to be an instructor at forebending?
[00:28:51] Well, it's completely different.
[00:28:53] So, I mean, it's not that much different, I guess.
[00:28:55] But for me, it was like a three-week course,
[00:28:57] and I was able to like check people's equipment.
[00:28:58] But they didn't make you memorize the term, and all they did did.
[00:29:01] Did they?
[00:29:02] You got to memorize the pre-jump brief and everything and stuff
[00:29:05] at that, but no, like this is a nylon stitch with 5,000 drain tests
[00:29:10] and steel that's stronger than America.
[00:29:12] So, that's no way it's stronger than America.
[00:29:15] No way.
[00:29:16] But no, they don't do that to you.
[00:29:19] Yeah, that's a good time.
[00:29:24] You're getting ready for your first deployment.
[00:29:27] I'm going to show you about 80 second ever one.
[00:29:30] You're there.
[00:29:31] You're getting ready for your first deployment.
[00:29:33] You know you're going to Afghanistan.
[00:29:35] And you're leaving just after Christmas.
[00:29:38] And here we're going to the book.
[00:29:40] My dad didn't talk to me about leaving.
[00:29:43] Over the next few days, we hung out,
[00:29:45] and did whenever we normally did.
[00:29:47] But most he said during that time was,
[00:29:49] be sure to keep your head down.
[00:29:52] Then the day before I left,
[00:29:54] story about when he went into the army. He'd taken Waspill paint and written a note to his
[00:29:59] parents and their shower stall where they were sure to be able to see it. It said one
[00:30:05] short sentence of reassurance, all will be fine. Early the morning that I left, I took a
[00:30:13] Waspill marker and went into my parents' bathroom, right above the faucets where they
[00:30:18] were sure to see it. I wrote the same short message, all will be fine. I was miles away
[00:30:25] from the house where my dad called. He told me he saw the note. I didn't say much and he
[00:30:32] didn't say much. He told me, love me, then his voice became horse and his words of support
[00:30:39] for me came out broken and choked. First time going on the point. It was a little rough too
[00:30:50] because I got from my hometown, a Marine, he was a body of mine. He has my baseball coach,
[00:30:56] his brother was in my grade. On the day after Christmas on the 26th he got shot by a sniper
[00:31:01] and I rack and ended up right through his heart and he didn't make it home. So, my brother
[00:31:07] actually has girlfriend that Chris is a little sister and she was at my house and I found out
[00:31:13] from friends that what had happened before the family found out, from people that were deployed
[00:31:18] with the unit. That was rough in my parents to have me in a couple of weeks going overseas and
[00:31:24] then I'm at home and they have to Christmas. Guy got shot that I know.
[00:31:28] Yeah, there's one, I think that's one of the hardest things for when military families see
[00:31:37] someone wounded or killed. They know that that could be their loved one. That's why I mean,
[00:31:44] days before you're leaving, man. That's harsh. And then we're close friends with the family. Like I
[00:31:50] said, his dad coach me from 10 years old up to 14 and 14 or 15. But
[00:31:58] you know, knew the family are there well. So, so is a little rough and things like that for a bit
[00:32:02] on my parents. But, you know, people now when they see me, they say, hey, do you go and speak
[00:32:07] to a lot of military things? I'm like, you know, I don't really do that that much of they want me
[00:32:10] to come in that will, but I'm not sure, but guys going overseas want to see me on stage.
[00:32:13] Hey, guys, you're going to be a okay. You know, I mean, it's trying not throughout. I mean,
[00:32:18] I thought a lot of companies, but when it comes down that, I'm like, hey, guys, you'll be good
[00:32:22] over there. It's like some movie that that six, I don't know what that is, but they're like,
[00:32:26] if Dream Amy the man I am today. Yeah, yeah, I've never seen it. But I get told that line.
[00:32:31] He's got like two fake legs. He's good. He's real good with movie quotes, especially bad movie.
[00:32:35] I'm so glad I forgot you were here. No, it's great. I've never known when chime in.
[00:32:43] So, your first deployment, what are you, are you an E3, E4?
[00:32:46] When I went over there, I think I was an E3. That's, I might have been an E2, actually.
[00:32:50] My favorite movie. Okay. I was only in a military six months for I to put it. That's crazy.
[00:32:57] Oh, it was a good time. I worked for a kernel. Yeah, I was doing basically PSD for the kernel, right?
[00:33:01] Yeah. Yeah. So, like, try being a young private, you go to a unit that's not an infantry. You don't
[00:33:06] get treated like crap. You work for a Lieutenant Colonel who's a direct descendant of
[00:33:12] Colonel Custer. He's a, it was his great uncle. The guy's just as wild. It's got a D.
[00:33:17] And he always walk around saying, what's better than a pair of vases, guys? Two pair and he
[00:33:21] show like the double A's on his own. And phenomenal guy, really. And we just go around with him.
[00:33:26] So, we ever got yelled at. My team leader was, was a cook, sergeant rush. Like, if we ever got yelled at,
[00:33:33] he just go with a kernel. But like, hey, so they're bothering us in the kernel. But like, don't
[00:33:36] do the doctor, my guys. I'm like, this is so nice being protected. I literally occur in our
[00:33:40] house. So that was a relatively cush. And you were living on a, if you're, if you're the kernel, I'm assuming
[00:33:45] you were living in like pretty good. Fob's learned. Oh, yeah. And they have like hard buildings on the head tents.
[00:33:49] We were in the very first hard building. Oh, we all went in and bought satellite internet. I had a shower
[00:33:56] every day. Hot meals. How often are you rolling out in the town? Every day. Okay. But we go out to
[00:34:02] government work and come back. Okay. You know, and that was in the gym. I'd go at eight
[00:34:05] clock. I don't like being the gym with people. I got was like, I don't know, I'm in my machines.
[00:34:09] And I super said it a lot. So I go from eight to 11 at night, just crush it and then midnight
[00:34:13] child, which is like the greatest thing ever. No crowd. Oh, you just, you're like, I was like, I'm
[00:34:19] let's air in hot wings. You know, you get the combo breakfast and dinner scenario going down. I know
[00:34:25] you're a much cooler guy than me, but when you get the midnight child of five, so I'm sorry. So I
[00:34:29] went to the hot wings. I'll take pancakes and. And I want to show some mashed potatoes and
[00:34:35] just go around that. And you guys, it sounds like on that first of all, you didn't, you didn't even
[00:34:42] shoot. You even shoot your gun first. I didn't have to. I was on patrols every day. I had a suicide
[00:34:48] bomber run off the bus and like detonate on the front of our truck. It's just like an idiot.
[00:34:53] You know, not even like, you know, it's nutsax hanging off the light and is, you know, but he's just
[00:34:58] the truck's not hurting. It's like genius bro. Genius job well done. A for effort. Yeah. Like a
[00:35:04] effort judgment. Yeah. Yeah. But still, that, I mean, that that having a suicide bomber hit your truck,
[00:35:13] that's like a, that's at least a reality check out a minimum. Right. Well, I mean, yeah, so it was, it was
[00:35:18] our, our, one of our, our front trucks. And then also we had a guy run up on the Colonel,
[00:35:24] open in the hospital and detonate himself. I was in the truck at that time like in the gun. But we just found
[00:35:30] out if we go out there, we just make sure they're right now. We're really aware every time we take a turn,
[00:35:34] you know, our guns are rotating. We're not sleeping. We're up and out. We didn't really get messed with.
[00:35:39] And that, and that helped. I mean, I was, you know, I was in a place where there was bombs and things
[00:35:45] like that. But I was protected. You know, EOD would roll out before the Colonel went anywhere.
[00:35:49] Oh, that's right. Yeah. How many gun trucks did you take on a convoy? Just the coral.
[00:35:55] Just four of us. Would him and the three truck or two truck? He was in the two. I was just
[00:35:59] around at the first like six months. Nice. And then I was a, I moved to like be a TC. But the threat level was
[00:36:06] like medium. I mean, because you have to take a, yeah, you take a bigger convoy with more aggressive
[00:36:12] facilities. If I was in the home, it was at all homies. We were for like any other year. And I had a two
[00:36:17] four nine, like, as my, my main weapon had a saw. They're like, yeah, okay, the front truck, yep, 50
[00:36:23] kilo. A back truck, we're going to give you a mark. And you're just going to get a saw. That was like, oh,
[00:36:28] awesome. Thank you. So I had, I had a saw. That's what I put it up there. Like it was a big old gun.
[00:36:35] Yeah. That's awesome. Good times. Yeah. Why didn't they give you a real gun up there?
[00:36:40] Uh, I'm really the, my boss were big enough. I was a real gun show.
[00:36:45] You know, I did not get that. I had 22 at the time. I got some supplements sent to the
[00:36:50] reason. That's that guy's found away from me to get some of their supplements. Wonderful.
[00:36:56] Uh, now, do you want to, for, is this this is the, this is the, you went for home for Aronaran.
[00:37:02] It is. And you had your first meeting. First meeting with one of your
[00:37:07] pertainmates, sisters. You know, I loved it. I loved it. And I got a my space frame request.
[00:37:13] And I thought, I mean, this must be a dating page. It was a, you know, Calgirl hat, brown,
[00:37:19] blouse for whatever gene skirt. I was like, that's a dating site. You know, this is an ad way to
[00:37:23] second. That last name is my medic. Let's do some investigation. He was home on Aronar.
[00:37:29] And I was looking through. I was like, that's his little sister. She's 18. So it's legal.
[00:37:32] And I was just like, except, you know, and we started chitchat. And I just did to make him mad,
[00:37:38] you know, but we ended up enjoying the show as a company. And first time we ever met, I was like,
[00:37:41] I just a revocation. I've been here 11 and a half months. You know, I got coming home for
[00:37:45] for 18 days. You want to go on vacation? She's like, yeah, sure. So just I were going to go to
[00:37:51] Cosmo Mexico. How do you, how do you talk to her dad into that? She was 18. So she did what she wanted.
[00:37:57] Yes, I don't know. He didn't kill me. So, head in. Every right. And so you go to Mexico. It's your first
[00:38:02] date. So that's how I'm just going to take you to Mexico. Yeah. Yeah. You guys, I say I don't know that's
[00:38:06] 24,000 dollars when I know exactly where I went to Mexico that back to Michigan for a week.
[00:38:12] I had a great time. She went back to Texas, had to go back overseas. I got held up in Atlanta.
[00:38:17] So I called her up. I was like, hey, I'm in Atlanta for the night you want to come. She said, yeah,
[00:38:20] so she came out next morning, Santa Claus crock it out to your streaming from her face.
[00:38:25] And she's like, I love you. And I'm like, I don't know where to get. So I love you too.
[00:38:28] Yeah, it's fast. I love you. I didn't pause. You know, and she's like, in between her sauce,
[00:38:33] I want to marry you. And I'm like, yeah, I get that. But you know, in my head, I said that
[00:38:36] because I was like, I want to marry you too. We're all castin' over here. Jump on that airplane,
[00:38:42] get back overseas, give her a call, right 24 hours later, and have a chance to end. I'm like, hey,
[00:38:46] what's going on, baby? She's like, guess what? I'm like, I don't know what. Weddings planned.
[00:38:53] Sales.com, butter ring, colder dad and whatnot. You know, I guess that's cool. I'm like, well,
[00:38:59] okay, thanks. Yeah. And then we got married. How did her brother feel about you? Was her brother
[00:39:05] in your photo? I was using my medic. Yeah. He actually wrote in the same truck as me. Oh,
[00:39:09] in my current, I would pick on him on the radio. Hey, buck, what do you think? Meals doing with your
[00:39:13] sister. I was like, I'm like, break my break. You can let that go. Because you mean, I'm standing
[00:39:18] up in the truck, you know, Josh can just, yeah, hand me the back seat and I'm like, no, no,
[00:39:22] don't do this. Don't do this, sir. But, nah, he can't hear us. Good guy. He's like, he told
[00:39:28] his mom a day, he's like, look, I know how it looks. He's actually a good guy and really nice. So,
[00:39:32] we'll see how it works out. And then I ended up marrying her. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's awesome, man. That's
[00:39:36] that's a great story to detail it in here that it's pretty, it's pretty unbelievable. You know,
[00:39:44] that you pulled all that off. Well, and the current was actually setting me up to go to the prep school
[00:39:50] engineer for West Point. He's like, usually we play in football on my, my lieutenant at the time.
[00:39:56] Lieutenant Philips, Tommy's a major, but maybe he's a Colonel now, but he was training me. He was
[00:40:00] football coach and he holds a record in Chicago. Yeah. Most consecutive losses at the school
[00:40:05] because he was coaching that in high school. Yeah, they were that bad. Great guy though. He was like,
[00:40:10] helping me coach and train up and lift weights and do whatever. But then I'm at Kelsey. I was like,
[00:40:14] I'm just going to do this. You know, so we got married. My God, back. How long after you went home
[00:40:20] for Christmas did you come back? I came back in April on the 13th, night 14th morning and then you
[00:40:26] won't find it in my book, but we got married the courthouse on the 17th. There you go. Yeah. And then we got
[00:40:31] married again. Yeah, like a great wedding engineer. Like good old smithier. Like that money. Well,
[00:40:35] I needed to spend all my money. You know, I was like, I don't know how we get a house. I'm like,
[00:40:40] I'm like, look, we need to, I need that be a age for you to months that they were just
[00:40:43] damn wedding. You know, so we can go to your right. In Texas in McKinney, about 112 that day.
[00:40:49] And then you settled down. And now you now you know you're standing at the army. You're pretty,
[00:40:55] pretty much saying I'm saying the army at this point. Well, I mean, I really enjoyed it. I got
[00:40:58] moved around another unit when I got back because I had to go to like a line unit could be a PSD
[00:41:03] guy that's all I mean, I was up for it. I was like, this is awesome. But yeah, we got to have an
[00:41:07] apartment in North Carolina, uh, right outside Fort Bragg there, bought a dog, um, life was good and
[00:41:13] I figured military is doing well and then just kind of hung out for 15 months or 18 months before
[00:41:19] I deployed. That's what I was going to say. So it's 18 months between deployments for you.
[00:41:22] Uh, it was that you usually a year and three months. So like I went for 15 months. So they gave me 18
[00:41:27] months off. I went for a year. And then I then gave me 15 months off that I had to go again for my
[00:41:33] third. But I'm jumping ahead here. So you you get back over on deployment. Um, and this is, uh, this is
[00:41:41] like within days that you, you'll tighten me up on that. But one of your, one of your friends
[00:41:46] Tyler Juden is saying that right? Mm-hmm. He's uh, out on a mount patrol, IED hits the first vehicle.
[00:41:54] Then they get a small, small arms ambush and I'm going to the book here. Our guys needed to get the
[00:41:58] disabled vehicle out of the way. And while they worked toward this objective, Tyler sprinted up to a
[00:42:03] high site on a nearby hill and fired through some five to seven magazines to ammo protecting his
[00:42:08] soldiers below when the disabled truck was finally cleared Tyler Sprinter back to the truck.
[00:42:13] Well, the enemy had specifically targeted him. An RPG flew in and he was hit. They rushed him back
[00:42:20] to the hospital at the fob, but it was too late. Tyler died on the operating table.
[00:42:27] Fury rose up inside of me. I wanted to find whatever taliban savages did this to Tyler and shoot
[00:42:33] them in the face. Tyler was always cautious. He took his job extremely seriously and never made
[00:42:39] mistakes. There was no reason for him to die. He described to me once how he believed his job as a sniper
[00:42:45] ultimately saved innocent lives. He was putting into practice what he knew to be true. He was helping
[00:42:52] the world, not hindering it and he'd been trained to be one of the rough men who stands ready in the
[00:42:57] night, prepared to do his duty, prepared to visit violence on those who would do us harm.
[00:43:02] Tyler's death hit far too close to home and we don't need just arrived.
[00:43:12] So that's not a fun way to kick off the point.
[00:43:14] No, and I don't know if he experienced in your unit, but it seems like the guys get hit are the ones
[00:43:19] that you don't expect to ever hit. So Tyler was a year older than me. I respected him.
[00:43:25] I mean, it was crazy because a guy's year older, it's like, well, whatever, but he had such
[00:43:29] a professionalism about him and I looked up to him and tried to learn what I could from him.
[00:43:33] And he only had like a, he probably had an extra year and a half and the army then I did,
[00:43:36] but either way. And highly ranked sniper and he went up and just he didn't take bad shots.
[00:43:42] So he was just popping everybody and they did tie a rhythm. He actually,
[00:43:46] I'm pretty sure was a camp champ and that he, that I'm not sure if you ever been to the SF.
[00:43:50] No, I have base there. Anyway, that's where you ended up not making. There's only two weeks
[00:43:56] into the point of that. And you know, when that guy like that gets hit, one,
[00:44:00] obviously frustrated and angry, you don't know why it happened, but two, it's like,
[00:44:03] well, geez, if he didn't get hit or taken out, you know, it kind of takes you down to confidence
[00:44:08] a pegrot, pegrot too as well because he's a guy you wouldn't expect. Not that you expect anybody
[00:44:14] to hit, I guess. But you know, like a super soldier style guy. Yeah, and I'm sure like,
[00:44:20] everybody, if you held him in that regard, everybody held him in that regard. And so everybody's
[00:44:26] feeling that same, oh, yeah. Kind of straight up nervousness, right? Yeah. And there was, he would walk by,
[00:44:33] like on our ACUs, like we have a strange post tucked a string in, some standard stuff.
[00:44:37] If my way would be hanging out, he'd walk by and hang on it and they make me do push ups and yell at me.
[00:44:42] And I wanted to punch him in the face, but I couldn't, you know, and I understood why he was doing it.
[00:44:46] So, I just had fun story, I guess I'd tell people because I mean, if I could have decked in my pride,
[00:44:50] what? I've only been in one fistfight ever, I knocked myself out, playing volleyball.
[00:44:56] Tells it, that was the one. Yeah. It's sad, but true, it's in the book.
[00:45:02] I don't know what that. Really, you might as well tell it.
[00:45:05] Well, yeah, we were just playing volleyball and I forgot, man, I was going over the net. We made
[00:45:09] a wee 2-5-4 cables for the antennas we used those in 550 cord and it was like,
[00:45:15] good girl, we're net. I was 6 foot 3 and the net was only 6 foot tall, so I was like,
[00:45:18] just hammering it home and I had a vertical, you know, like the bronze. So, he's ridiculous,
[00:45:24] a whole belly button above the net and I kept going over and they kept yelling. So I pulled my
[00:45:28] hand back real fast, and I caught myself right in the eye socket. Knocked out.
[00:45:34] Do you actually knock yourself out? Yeah. But later on, when I had this happen, I did get knocked
[00:45:41] out. Yeah, that's like, keep imagine when the fist of fury could have done.
[00:45:45] Floyd Winner stood at chance against me. I don't know if I'm impressed if that's like super impressive
[00:45:50] or super not impressive. Right. You either have the fist of iron or a glass jaw. We're not sure
[00:45:54] which. I hit a bomb. Yeah. And I didn't get knocked out, so my answer has been fist of iron. Yeah,
[00:45:59] the questions have been answered. Probably being jail right now, if I was, went fist of cuffs,
[00:46:03] anybody. So, you, it sounds like, you guys ended up doing overwatches of a road in, um,
[00:46:14] what, up by, Zobsick Pass. Okay. Yeah. And, great time. How long were you on that for?
[00:46:21] Well, we went out there and they were like, yeah, just go ahead and pack for a couple of weeks
[00:46:24] and then we were out there. I think 50, 50 days or so. And we just live on top of a mountain
[00:46:30] and then like just monitoring the road. Yeah, just because they had, uh, they were bringing
[00:46:33] up convoy's and jingle trucks with military gear on to build another fob. And we had people on both
[00:46:39] sides and I actually, uh, a sofa ready to tell my wife I, I went down one day to get some food
[00:46:44] or something or get a resupply. And, uh, I'm going back up. They made a stop. They want to register
[00:46:50] mortars. And I was like, what the, I just want to get back up there. I got out and I slammed my door
[00:46:53] and like the brilliant guy, I went ahead and used a fist if he had a hammer to hummer.
[00:46:58] And I ripped a scab open on my hand. I told the way my story to my wife. It was
[00:47:02] somewhat blood. It was gushing as ridiculous. But, uh, as my wedding ring fingers, I took my
[00:47:06] wedding ring off put on the front of the hummer and I got the medic guys to get out of your
[00:47:09] dock, you know, willis or whatever. I fixed this up for me and I had to put tape on. I got back in,
[00:47:14] left my wedding ring right on the front of that hummer and drove back out mountain. So, like,
[00:47:18] for 30, some days every time I got a chance to go down the mountain, I had a middle,
[00:47:21] the zector out like, please find this tungsten ring. Please, I don't want to tell my wife.
[00:47:25] I never heard of it. I was like to give people that didn't serve a little, you know,
[00:47:34] impression or of what it's like and I thought this wouldn't wrap that up pretty good.
[00:47:38] Going to the book here, going so long without taking a shower, came with a chair of complications.
[00:47:44] Guys got transferred from their feet being wet and sweaty and not taking care of them properly.
[00:47:48] I got strange rashes and intimate areas and it wasn't uncommon for a guy to
[00:47:53] mutter about his balls sticking to his leg when he hiked. Every dude got chafed up pretty badly
[00:47:59] in his bodily crevices and a common complaint was that a guy had swass slank for sweaty ass.
[00:48:07] My armpits hurt. I swed it so much that the salt got trapped in my skin and my back broke out
[00:48:14] in a raised bubbly rash. This happened to other guys too. The only solution is to get your ID card out
[00:48:21] and have another dude scrape your back hard until the salt crystals pop out.
[00:48:27] It's a brutal procedure and it feels like getting cut with a razor blade, but it's all part of the
[00:48:32] fun. Yeah. Day to day. Yeah. Day to day get something. I mean, sounds like I was complaining
[00:48:41] in that one. No. Yeah, watching someone like scrape salt crystals, like size of table salt
[00:48:47] come out. I'm not sure if you ever experienced it like that. No. But yeah, it's pretty bad and you
[00:48:51] get so grow. And then I took four real showers that year. Yeah. Like real ones. I mean, you
[00:48:56] go get a water bottle, poke holes in the top and spray yourself down. Then you have to get dirty
[00:49:00] all over again. It's just a long process. So you started to think of like how it takes like
[00:49:04] nine days or something for you get comfortable with your nasties. Yeah. And then you don't even
[00:49:09] want to break the cycle and get cleaning your skin. You know, you know, you need to use dirty
[00:49:12] skin? No. The best part is like the winner because you don't smell as bad in the winter. Like
[00:49:16] when the winter you don't take showers like, oh, it doesn't matter. I brushed my teeth keeping
[00:49:20] perley white. Maybe I teeth look wider. You know. But yeah, and I was pretty I actually decided
[00:49:27] halfway into that point. I was like, oh my wife just sent me eight pair of range of panties. So I
[00:49:32] wore a whole pair like range of panties for a month. And I just took them off. I was like, no,
[00:49:36] I'm not going to wash these. Just don't worry. Except it and move on 12 bucks, well spent.
[00:49:41] So my effect, whereas the obzack passed my pants got so torn. They were like chaps. Like
[00:49:47] my butt cheeks were hanging out. So I went these sergeant majors came in. You know, and they're
[00:49:50] all out of shape. Like, you already don't look back at dips. I know, I changed pants. I'm like
[00:49:55] sergeant major, if I change the pants, I'm like another pair of looks just like this. Like,
[00:49:59] it's that I'm not on the fob. There's you come into like, you got to get in the uniform and
[00:50:03] all that. I'm like, bring me one. I'm like, yeah, okay, let me do that. You got it, bud. I know you're
[00:50:08] going to get back in that truck and roll your ass out of here. So back to the chicken wings and
[00:50:13] pancakes. Oh, I know. A lot of MREs. That's good times. Yeah, you know, I got to just straight up.
[00:50:22] I mean, in the sealed teams, we just don't have to eat that many MREs. That's the way it is.
[00:50:30] Yeah, to the either you make them, you can make those things delicious. Yeah, you can.
[00:50:35] That burrito. Get at me. Mixed a little bit in there. Yeah. I actually, my first deployment
[00:50:43] to Iraq, we ate MREs for a little while, and I was legitimately sick of them. And it was, it wasn't
[00:50:48] that long. But I was already sick of them. One, no, 50 days. I can promise you that.
[00:50:53] Yeah. Well, I mean, yeah. Yeah. You're just going to say something about the sealed
[00:50:58] teams. Why don't you? No, I would never. I don't have this period of
[00:51:02] spending myself. We're getting shipped in stakes. I'm like that. I mean, later on,
[00:51:07] that point, we had like stakes on like one day a week, they'd bring out like these frozen
[00:51:11] stakes. We could come over like an open pit of fire with a stick thrown. Yeah. Dude, it is legit.
[00:51:17] Like, I would go out to some rant. My first point, we'd go out to, because we were living
[00:51:20] at weird owned by, up and back, dad, big, jow haul, everything good. And we'd go out to
[00:51:24] do an op somewhere. There'd be some SF group in the middle of nowhere. And you'd see how
[00:51:30] they're living. I mean, it wasn't always an SF group. Some of us are, you know, some army
[00:51:34] platoon or company out there in the middle of nowhere. And you're like, dang, these boys are
[00:51:37] roughing it nasty. And we're here like, they brought Gatorade, they brought a case. Yeah, I
[00:51:42] gave me two. Give me two on the hide one of my pillow case. You'd feel bad. They'd
[00:51:45] go, oh, man, you're in the sealed teams. You're like, dude, I'm ashamed to do like, even
[00:51:49] be hanging out with you right now. You guys smell so bad. I don't know why they brought me out.
[00:51:52] Yeah. You guys go sit over there. We're just going to sit here. Leave this alone. We need
[00:51:57] you guys. Yeah. Do you know what? We've gone three days without a shower. This is crap, man.
[00:52:03] Yeah, we did that. It's totally the same life. But, you know, within during the, I mean,
[00:52:10] in during the soccer. It's still like, it's funny, like, my friend from high school, right?
[00:52:14] I have two really good friends I can talk with, whatever. But if I run to another person from high
[00:52:18] school or whatever, we'll catch up on everything. That's like, oh, great talking to you.
[00:52:23] You know, and then you find your way out of conversation, but you, friend, a military buddy,
[00:52:26] you haven't seen in years and you just go right back into it. You know, just because you
[00:52:29] understand where you've been with me. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:52:34] Speaking of going through stuff, here we go. Back to the book, the Taliban
[00:52:38] screech to a stop and started shooting at the AMP bullets cracked all around us. We got
[00:52:43] word from higher command to engage. I yelled to my men fire. We shot our rifles and shorts let loose
[00:52:49] with several bursts of machine gun, rat a tat, rat a tat, rat a tat, rat a tat tat.
[00:52:55] This is my first large scale firefight of any kind. It hit me with a wham that this wasn't
[00:53:01] really a training exercise anymore. This was the real deal. My adrenaline rose in where
[00:53:05] the surge of energy. But I also felt calm as if all my training kicked in at once. And I just did
[00:53:12] what I was trained to do. I honestly wasn't afraid. I took aim and fired at the bad guys. They
[00:53:18] fired at me and it didn't phase me to think that I might kill somebody when I wanted when they
[00:53:22] wanted to kill me first. I saw several Taliban members get hit and fall more fell and more.
[00:53:29] The last few who are left turned around and took off took off the waddy. We got word to get
[00:53:36] not to give chase because waddy's are great choke points for potential enemy ambushes.
[00:53:40] When the shooting died down completely we approached close enough to see the bodies of the
[00:53:45] enemy soldiers. I just helped kill. It was a surreal feeling but I reminded myself that this is
[00:53:51] what a soldiers are built to do. We received reports later that three of my men, the three of the men
[00:53:58] killed or top Taliban leaders in the region. So there's your first gunfight. Yeah, that's pretty awesome.
[00:54:04] So the A&P commander was a former Taliban guy. He switched over sides and ran around the
[00:54:11] A&P. He was like, yeah they're having a big meeting. I got a call. They're kind of coming
[00:54:14] on this waddy. We'll go check it out and then all of a sudden just drop in, you know, Martin 19
[00:54:19] and the 50 cal into 40 on him and just hey, you know, going nuts and then they come back and
[00:54:27] they're really good about taking their bodies away with them. They're pretty good about it but they
[00:54:31] were like 18 or 20 people deep in the in the waddy coming and we just led into them. And yeah, that was
[00:54:38] my first like real taste of like I shoot my gun at people. What were your team leader at this point?
[00:54:43] No, I was so I was actually a squad leader. I was I was a position up. So I was still in E5 but I was
[00:54:49] in a squad leader position. So I was tried to do a what a weapon squad? No, no, that we were actually
[00:54:55] we were mounted. Okay. So I had my own truck but I had two trucks that were under me. So I had two
[00:55:01] two trucks that were two teams. I had two team leaders that were underneath me and then we
[00:55:05] had a truck. So my senior like team leader had one, he was a T.C. of his truck man. I was a T.C.
[00:55:10] of the junior team leader that. Yeah. So it was a good time. Again, I said that. I'll speak in
[00:55:17] somewhere the other day and I said something along those lines and like somebody said like,
[00:55:21] I think it's kind of weird that you say it's a good time and fun and I'm like, well,
[00:55:26] it's a drilling rush. Not going to get it. It's a good time and fun. I mean,
[00:55:30] they shot at me first. I mean, he started it. It's starting. Yeah, the fender self. But uh, yeah.
[00:55:39] And then I mean, yeah, it just doesn't, it didn't phase me. It didn't hit me hard. I wasn't
[00:55:45] worried about it. Um, just kept moving on. In fact, that region died right down like completely after
[00:55:51] this. Well, if you kill all those bad guys, it's just, yeah, it's just in fact. Like, uh, that was our
[00:55:56] first night out there too. Like, moved out to the middle of nowhere in the snowstorm and that was like,
[00:55:59] maybe I'm not first night or second night out there. We just shot everybody and then for the next
[00:56:03] like two months, it was quiet and they were like, they back filled us with some other
[00:56:07] patoon. And like, hey, we're going to bring in this patoon here. You guys are going to go up north
[00:56:10] where there's a lot of fighting in Baltimore. God. All right, cool. Let's do it. So that's that's the next
[00:56:15] big movement that you made. Who is that spot? And that place had a bad rep, like, as far as being
[00:56:21] a lot of fighting there. Uh, Obama guy was really heavy. Really heavy. It was, um, the Obama guy
[00:56:26] of River. And when we got there, um, the Italians were there before us. And I guess they were just like,
[00:56:31] hey, tell me, don't mess with us. Here's, here's some money and we're good. And we're, uh, where
[00:56:35] the eight seconds. So we're like, no, not going to happen. And the infantry, between that we replaced,
[00:56:41] and I mean, for the record, I am infantry. I was in a cab unit, but they always have a
[00:56:45] trolley troop is infantry, but soon they bring in. And then we had these coin between us. I was
[00:56:49] like two infantry and two cab squads to make the tunes up. But um, yeah, we replaced these, uh, the
[00:56:55] infantry guys, they had two guys killed. Unfortunately, fell into a river. There was actually a
[00:56:58] ceasefire with a tail band to find the bodies and bring the bodies back. Um, and we got up there
[00:57:04] and there was like a line in the sand. They said, look, you cross this line. You're going to get shot at.
[00:57:09] And we were like, all right, cool. So we started taking ground. And um, everywhere, there's a
[00:57:16] fighting position on top of a mountain. They would booby trap it when they were done. So a guy, one of
[00:57:21] the F.O.s sergeant Fox, good guy, he picked up a matchbox and he said, yep, I got a matchbox. It
[00:57:25] looks like, and then just they only found his torso. That was, you know, everything else was gone.
[00:57:30] Just his body armor. Um, but instead of staying in one spot at this one, we took one more spot.
[00:57:37] And they're like, yeah, well, some Marciac guys went up here. Was this the, uh, was these the strong points
[00:57:43] like Corvette and Impala? Is that what we're talking about now? Yeah. Yeah. These are in your book.
[00:57:49] Um, you talk about those being an Impala was the, the even worst one, even further
[00:57:54] than animatariory. Yeah, and they were like, yeah, we had like a Marciac guy got shot in the head
[00:57:58] when he was up there. Um, it was just like a eight man team that went in and they're like,
[00:58:02] you guys can't really go there. So we decided one night, we're going to go there. We'd
[00:58:05] drink, we've got already for it. What was Impala physically? What is it like a little, uh,
[00:58:11] former like like house or something? There's actually absolutely there's a house. Um, and we
[00:58:17] decided we're going to take it one night because there was a last house in the edge of town. And then
[00:58:20] there was 1200 meters between the next like village. And the Taliban would go in there and shoot
[00:58:24] it us and, you know, be able to sneak down a way far enough. And, uh, we had a javlin team come up
[00:58:32] on one side. We, we went up in the middle of night on this side. And we had other people on this side.
[00:58:35] And we just, we just took it, uh, middle of a night. And then they were said we're going to go there
[00:58:40] for like, you know, three days, do reconnaissance come back and they're like, you know what we're going to
[00:58:44] say there. So the worked in stop. We had a Phil Samvags put up barbed wire, um, and then we went
[00:58:50] up the side of a mountain and dug in a, um, an OP, but it was like we, we had 21 guys or a Taliban never
[00:58:58] knew. We only had 20, 20, uh, one man puttune. So we had like 13 down at the cop and then we sent the
[00:59:04] rest of them up on top of the hill. And we dug in. So deep that was eight foot deep pits and there
[00:59:08] was a living room, uh, two, 40 pit, a 50 cow pit, um, uh, like a little dying kitchen area and then
[00:59:15] like three sleeping pits, like three like that two cops would fit in. Like it was huge. Did you put
[00:59:19] overhead cover on them somehow? Uh, no, we just dug them deep enough where you didn't didn't. Yeah,
[00:59:23] I mean, we put, I guess we put our, um, ponchos over it, you know, things like that. But not protection
[00:59:28] from mortars. No, no, uh, and if you stood up when they were digging it and they started digging it
[00:59:33] when you stood up and you were digging, they started shooting us and then we just ran hell and, um,
[00:59:40] we dug in after about a month of that. We just were telling so many they just gave it up. They're like,
[00:59:44] all right, we're done. Um, and that's where we, I mean, we came out, we were black on water and then
[00:59:50] like the brass came out. They're like, what, you got shaving? Where's your haircut? So I'm like,
[00:59:54] hey, we didn't have water. Are you kidding around? Oh, bro? And then it's same-starred to me,
[00:59:59] yellowed for my pants. They wanted to go up to CRLP. So my two sergeants, I, hey, sergeant
[01:00:04] mills, I need you to, can you take one of your teams and just go through took four men out. And I
[01:00:08] walked them right over, what I thought the road was clear, you know, but it was all filled with water
[01:00:12] when we took the place. Walk more huge ideas. They just, the batteries had died in them because they
[01:00:16] waited, you know, we waited too long. But when they'd dried up, they're like, oh, there's a mortar. Oh,
[01:00:19] look at that. That's a, that's a AT mine and triple stack, you know. Um, but anyways, so I was like
[01:00:24] talking about on top of the OP and stuff like that. And it was funny because as they're yelling
[01:00:28] this for not being shaving or cleaned up, I go a quarter of the way up. This is like a hundred
[01:00:32] yards probably. Like I'm a straight up. And I go up a quarter the way with them and I say, all right,
[01:00:37] I'll be right back. So I run to the top and I'd say, hey, L.T., you know, the sergeant major is coming
[01:00:41] up in the kernel. So it'd just be really, you know, so we're like trying to put our uniforms on and everything
[01:00:45] and said like just our t-shirts. And I run back down and he's bare crawling. He said,
[01:00:49] sounds like I can't do it. I don't like go with your midnight child. Needless alone. How about that?
[01:00:54] There you can.
[01:00:55] Got a suit, huh? But he'd make it to the OP. He made it up to the top. He did eventually. And I'm like,
[01:01:01] but I came back down. I kind of put a little bit of fear in him. I said, sergeant major, this is not
[01:01:05] the spot that you want to stop right there that town that's tail of handheld. Anybody in that town
[01:01:08] shoots at us? And if they see that we're not moving quick, they're going to take pop shots. So you're
[01:01:13] going to need to, yeah, I mean, mostly true. Yeah. He was like sitting down looking and I was like,
[01:01:18] no, no, no, no, you need to need to move. So I just need to go. I mean, and no, thanks to the brass.
[01:01:24] It wasn't even my sergeant major. I don't think that was there at the time. It was like a different
[01:01:27] unit or whatever. But yeah, I mean, it was a wild, wild last. We were just shooting firefights every
[01:01:33] day, but we were the northern limit. You know, there was no buddy farther pushing us. Pushed
[01:01:37] to us. Yeah. I want one part you're talking about how you, you ended up shooting 11 javelins
[01:01:43] in a day. I think. Yeah. That's that's getting a half career on pretty much anyone's standards.
[01:01:49] Yeah. I think the shot 29 that hold the blame. It was just, it was cool. Damn.
[01:01:57] So you conventionally want me to be fun? Yeah. You're a job. Yeah. Do the conventional army
[01:02:02] were within Ramadi were freaking getting after every single day. They were awesome. Awesome.
[01:02:11] Like you were getting in a firefight every day there, huh? For a bit there, we were and then
[01:02:16] it died right down. They were just tired because once they shot once we just, we let loose.
[01:02:21] We had enough ammo to last us for a year's probably. And we let them know. We let them know.
[01:02:27] Yeah. America's real cool when it comes to ammo. Yeah. In the situation. It's like, oh,
[01:02:32] you guys need more? Yeah. We'll be right there. All right. You are,
[01:02:39] yeah. Same thing happened. You were like, you were like, did you find, you found triple stacked
[01:02:44] IDs in your position? Yeah. So, dumbest thing. We went in and we cleared it. And then we had
[01:02:50] like Marines, EOD, like Marsak, EOD, clear stuff. Like there was like unexploded RPG around the
[01:02:56] side one of the walls. And then there was other booey traps. Well, turns out where we were
[01:03:00] rolling all of our, like, big barrels for the generator and stuff like that was like,
[01:03:05] it was all booey trap. Right? Where exactly were we step? And this guy started to Barton,
[01:03:09] he's a great guy. There's just met a lot of the ground. He's like, huh? What's that? It starts
[01:03:12] beating on it with a shovel. And I'm going, I'm getting ready to grow on my R&R. Oh, and you got
[01:03:18] tingling. What are you doing, dude? God. Something to ground here. Just looking, looking at it.
[01:03:22] He starts to dig in and I was like, oh, oh, that's not, oh shit. And then turns out where you're
[01:03:26] rolling these 50 gallon drums, taking all this supplies, right over top right in the breezeway.
[01:03:31] Good God. It's where I would, so it was so hot there. And I mean, I get I'm rags hot too, but
[01:03:37] it was so hot. Like me and my buddy, it was a one of my team leaders. We'd go out there and
[01:03:42] we'd spray ourselves with water. About being our PT short spray, so the water about land
[01:03:45] our cops and just see how long took the dry? Usually about 10 to 15 minutes to get completely dry.
[01:03:50] And our cops were right on top of these. And no idea. Because I mean, EOD came through and they
[01:03:56] didn't find it. So was he figured was like a command debt that had the battery died or something?
[01:04:01] Or it was a, yeah, well, it was pressure plates. Oh, my, so these big drums were having the
[01:04:07] circuit connect, but the batteries and I'm died. We, you know, luckily we didn't take the
[01:04:11] property to, you know, I'd like to, I think after the march, that guy's got it. They went in there
[01:04:16] and Boobey trapped it all knowing that we were trying to take it, but somehow the batteries didn't
[01:04:20] work, which helped out for us, because we jumped over a rock wall that they had, where there was
[01:04:25] like a hole in the wall, ready from probably a hellfire, so from time of four. So right where we,
[01:04:30] you know, obviously, be East Place President Trump over, that's what we all jumped over and there was
[01:04:33] stuff stacked there too. So it's where you talk about it in here. And I heard this from the Vietnam
[01:04:41] seals. They would set up ambushes on VC and they would, you know, go, okay, we're going to shoot
[01:04:48] from here and when we shoot from here, they're going to take cover over here behind this lock,
[01:04:51] so they'd put a big claim or underneath that lock. And you're talking about how the Taliban is doing
[01:04:56] the same thing over there, you know, basically, oh, as soon as we start shooting,
[01:05:01] now I'm going to run to these cover positions. So we'll just put Boobey traps in mines and any
[01:05:04] of these cover positions. Yeah, we actually had to change up our SOPs or standing out praying
[01:05:09] procedures on my third deployment instead of diving for cover, you've had to take a knee.
[01:05:12] Yeah, that's what I was reading and I was just, that's what reminded me of. I reminded me
[01:05:16] of that's what my predecessors and the seal teams and Vietnam would do to the enemy. And now
[01:05:23] the enemy was doing it to us or to you guys. Yeah, scary. This is this is an interesting spot.
[01:05:29] You're heading home from leave from there. I left in May and caught a series of connecting
[01:05:34] flights home to America. I gave Kelsey a huge kiss at the airport and Dallas when I got back
[01:05:38] to the house gave her dog buddy a big hug. It felt great to be back, but it also felt surreal.
[01:05:44] And this is a strange part of this leave time. I didn't quite know what to do with myself.
[01:05:49] I could take a hot shower anytime I wanted. I could sit on the couch and play video games.
[01:05:53] I could drink a beer and eat a cheeseburger outside on the back porch.
[01:05:57] Nobody was shooting at me. Nobody's stunk. Nobody was sleeping on triple stacked IEDs.
[01:06:04] Kelsey was finishing up the semester with college and work, so I bought a truck and we drove
[01:06:09] up to Michigan to see my parents. We had a few bright and happy days with them,
[01:06:13] then it was soon time to go just like that. I hugged my parents, gave Kelsey a big kiss,
[01:06:19] and flew out to Detroit to head back overseas. It felt oddly good to be back to Afghanistan.
[01:06:26] The feeling is difficult to explain. In America, when I'd hung around with some friends and
[01:06:30] Dallas and got re-acquainted with some of my buddies from high school back in Michigan,
[01:06:34] I'd seen first-hand, how most of the people my age lived. If a dude was 22 or 23 like me,
[01:06:41] he was usually finishing up college or hanging out trying to find an internship or an entry-level job.
[01:06:47] He might be living in his parents' basement, trying to scrape together enough money to move out.
[01:06:52] Or maybe he was partying hard on weekends or maybe still in a frat.
[01:06:57] He was almost always short on money. Almost always wondering what to do with his future.
[01:07:03] Not that there was anything wrong with any of that. A guy's got to do what a guy's got to do,
[01:07:06] but by contrast, at my age in the military, I led people in combat. I controlled firefights.
[01:07:13] I handled hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of equipment. I made decisions that affected
[01:07:18] whether people would live or die. It felt real. On a personal level, I made decent money. I was
[01:07:25] married. I had a good credit score. I was thinking of buying a house soon. It felt good to be
[01:07:30] trusted with this much responsibility. I was proud of my drive and sense of accomplishment. I was already
[01:07:37] a man. I think statements like that are like what get kids or if I say kids, but like when I meet
[01:07:47] kids, like I've just met at this event, we were just at, and this, you know, he's like, I'm 19.
[01:07:52] I just joined the Marine Corps. I'm leaving September 18th. And that statement like that
[01:07:56] is what I think makes people join the military. It gets a lot of people to join the military.
[01:08:01] Like 22 years old. Oh, yeah. You get paid. You've got a steady job. Your job is more meaningful
[01:08:07] than any job they could have. I mean, never mind, maybe they're working at fast food, right?
[01:08:12] Like I did. You know, never mind that they're working at Wendy's. Even if they have a kick-ass
[01:08:17] job somewhere, it doesn't matter. Your job is more meaningful because you're a soldier fighting
[01:08:20] for freedom. Yeah, and they would, you know, you go back home and you see what they're doing.
[01:08:24] You're like, wow, my lots of change. And I'm like, I've been Afghanistan. I got married. I have an
[01:08:30] apartment. I, you know, I have two cars, whatever. And it's at that young stage. I mean, in my friends
[01:08:36] back home, they were still really nice and, you know, I still get along with them and everything.
[01:08:40] I just felt like what I was doing was was a different purpose. And I was trusted with more
[01:08:45] things. I mean, when you're in college and everybody's like, oh, you're a kid in college,
[01:08:47] but when you're in the army and you're like, oh, you're in the army, you're on your second
[01:08:50] appointment. You know, what do you do? And charge of seven other lives, include it as well as my own.
[01:08:57] And I tell them where to move, what to do, how to shoot, and how to how to do things. And they're like,
[01:09:01] oh, okay. Yeah, I'll get some kid in the gym. In my gym, we'll be like, oh, yeah, well, you know,
[01:09:07] while we'll meet 23, you know, oh, yeah, when I was a 23, I was in my third seal, but dude,
[01:09:12] kill me. Actually, we were drinking beers because there was nothing going on. But anyway,
[01:09:18] kill him. But one year, kill him. But one year, like a beast. So then, how did you feel about that
[01:09:25] two weeks leave during the middle deployment? Well, I mean, it's a constant worry. Like, how are my
[01:09:28] guys doing? We had a satellite phone. We didn't have internet or things like that. So I couldn't just
[01:09:33] like, hit him up real quick on a, because the army makes you do that. Well, yeah, they allow it.
[01:09:39] And then they, they say you need, you know, this stuff. And but they're pretty aren't they don't they push
[01:09:43] it pretty hard? No. I mean, I mean, I was stuck with the question hard. Well, that's, and I,
[01:09:49] and I don't, just, just, just, don't discriminate. I don't know how to say this politically correct.
[01:09:53] There's, there's the army that's at Boggermar for space that wears PT belts that, you know,
[01:09:59] goes to Dunkin, goes to get their Dunkin down and that complaints because not a lot takes too
[01:10:03] hot. And then there's the people like us where it's like, there's 22 of us or 21 of us
[01:10:08] sitting out in Millenau where taking no showers. No one's going to come say, hey, you need to do this.
[01:10:12] We had one kid come out now ran into him again in Lansing, Michigan actually had an event. He,
[01:10:16] you know, out of the military and I didn't realize it was him. But he came out. He chose to be a financial
[01:10:22] guy. And this says in the financial world, and that's fine. Hey, you want to do finance,
[01:10:25] you want to work in the S4 shop? Great. It comes out. They're given a survey. Some dumps survey that
[01:10:30] they're just, whatever, big army wants. You know, the good idea fairies and whatever. But
[01:10:34] he's on the rooftop. He's like, oh, man, hope we're getting a gunfight. It's going to be great.
[01:10:38] And look, all of a sudden, excuse me. He's like, well, no, I just, you know, because I, I'm on the
[01:10:41] five all the time, I just, I mean, I love, I want to see a gun, you know, I hope we're getting a firefight.
[01:10:46] I said, what, don't you get if they shoot it us, my guys could get hit for what your
[01:10:50] hoping happens here. I said, I got an idea, get off my roof. And he's like, well, I said, no,
[01:10:55] seriously, get, I'm going to throw you off this roof. You don't get off it. And he looked at,
[01:10:59] I critter, one of my, one of my guys and critter goes, oh, no, Sergeant Mills is real.
[01:11:03] I'll throw you off this roof. And I said, if we get shot at, don't get in my guys way. Stay the
[01:11:08] fuck off the roof and get down. Yeah. And he was just like, but I don't get it. I'm like, it's not a game.
[01:11:13] This isn't, I mean, when we get a firefight, you know, we get, you know, people run up on their
[01:11:18] PT shorts and their flip flops and they got their Kevlar on their body on her, but, I mean,
[01:11:22] that's real life, bullets are flying. In the way he was just so nonsular, I hope we get a firefight.
[01:11:25] That would be really cool. It's like, my guys could get shot. Like, what part of the cool don't you get?
[01:11:30] So, I mean, they're, you know, the army does push something to other times. We're just left alone.
[01:11:35] Yeah, I just remember guys going from, from guys that were in combat all the time, not
[01:11:40] fobits, but, and they, it seemed like the command, their commands wanted to go home for those two
[01:11:46] weeks and hey, man, you need to take this break on your feet. Oh, the feet mandatory. Yeah, I think
[01:11:49] you meant like Colin home. Colin home, stuff, not man. Oh, no, I just meant going home, sorry.
[01:11:53] Yeah, yeah, you have to go home. You have to go. Okay, that's what I thought. And a lot of
[01:11:56] guys, some guys don't want to, but you have to. You know, the Colin home thing, I think is,
[01:12:00] is, I don't know how often you call to home, but I try to call them like once a week. Once or
[01:12:05] twice a week. Because if you start doing more than that, I think it's worse on both of you. Well,
[01:12:08] you ran out of things to say. Oh, it's cool. You know, I mean, no offense to anybody's love life
[01:12:13] out there, but in my life, I'm out getting along great, you know, but when I would call home,
[01:12:17] hey, we're doing, well, just no day and I have to answer and I don't want to be like, well,
[01:12:19] it's out and I got shot at and then I ended up killing two people and then this guy got hurt,
[01:12:23] but it's okay. He's going to be fine. You don't want to be afraid. You know, she can't say
[01:12:27] guys up like, well, well, you know, I went on patrol the day, got to help with help with
[01:12:30] kid tie a shoe, you know, and like that gets old and then what'd you do? Well, I went to school today and
[01:12:35] I mean, there's no real story there, right? So I got to let it build for a week or two.
[01:12:38] I definitely recommend that. I mean, that the nicest way. No, I know, totally. And I think if you're
[01:12:45] if you're calling home every day, then you're like, you're you're missing and you're connecting
[01:12:50] and just like, no, like you said, let it build, have something to talk about real,
[01:12:54] and what does that get to know? And like, what are you thinking about? And then you get a
[01:12:56] little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit.
[01:13:02] You know, I see it happened. You know, I even say I happen to mean Kelsey. You know, like, what are you thinking about? Well, no. What do you think? What do you want to talk about?
[01:13:06] Well, no, oh, you got nothing to talk to me about. It's like, no, I don't. And it's not a bad thing. It's not that I love you any less. It's that literally I can't tell you what happened here.
[01:13:13] Because it's not going to make you feel better about the situation. And so, and you know another thing is, you know, you got all this stuff going on,
[01:13:22] and then your wife's like, you won't believe this and you're like, what? And she's like, um,
[01:13:28] we lost that library book that we got out. And now they called and they want us to pay for it. You're like,
[01:13:33] just got the check. Let's get in the check. We're going to be good. Well, they overcharge it. I'm going to do your research.
[01:13:40] You find it online, you know, cheaper. Yeah, yeah, some of the big, the big, the big, the big
[01:13:47] drama, drama at home. You know, the wide eye, like, oh, no, it's like, that's not okay. Well, I watched the guy
[01:13:54] bleeding, bleeding out to the head. Yeah, that's my finger in the bullet holes. So I get what you're saying. Same thing. I was like,
[01:13:59] well, my God, I mean, believe this. But you go ahead. Tell me what happened with you. Tell me about the
[01:14:05] spoiled by mayonnaise that you had on your sandwich. Um, that's not joke. That's awful. You get home from that
[01:14:12] deployment. Going back to the book. My parents threw down from Michigan, Josh and Dina. This is your
[01:14:17] Josh, as your brother-in-law, Dina's his wife. We're there. And some of the guys from my unit came over.
[01:14:23] I manned the barbecue, the smell of charcoal fired. Hamburger's drifted over the neighborhood. And I
[01:14:28] felt like the luckiest man alive. Kelsey and I had a dog, two cars and now a house. We were young
[01:14:36] family living the American dream. So you had the gold vine house and now you actually bought one, right?
[01:14:40] Far of attorney. I called my wife and she's like, guess what I did today? I was like, what? She
[01:14:43] was like, what? She goes, I bought a house. And like, how did you do that? She's like, well, you bought it.
[01:14:46] It sounded like a piece of paper. Far of attorney. So speaking of jokes, I tell her time I
[01:14:49] thought, there we go. But, uh, now we bought a house and then my brother-in-law, he was, they had a
[01:14:54] young young child. They still do Reagan. But, over the time, she was like, seven, eight months old, I guess.
[01:15:00] And I was like, you drink in that Josh because I have responsibilities. You know, like, oh, I'm
[01:15:04] all holding her in that or something like I can't drink. And then by the end of the night, he passed
[01:15:08] down the fire. Junkers could be smoked to pack a sick. He's like, oh, that hurts so bad.
[01:15:19] And then I was like, responsibility. Famous last words. Back to the book, fortunately after
[01:15:27] I got home, I didn't struggle with any past memories of combat. Although I do, I know any number of soldiers
[01:15:32] who do. I told a few stories to Kelsey about our unit's time in Robatt and BMG about going without a
[01:15:38] shower for so long and about some fire fights, we got into an impalent, corvette. But she didn't
[01:15:44] like to talk about those things much. And I understood that. I found I could shut off the memories
[01:15:50] pretty easily. My logic was straightforward. I was a combat soldier. That's what I did. I told my mind
[01:15:57] to go to certain places and I refused to allow to go to other places. I found that I could connect
[01:16:02] with my family best that way. Although I know other guys handle things differently with equal success.
[01:16:10] And the reason I threw that in there is just because, you know, I get a lot of guys that asked me
[01:16:14] about how to handle the whatever memories they're bringing home. And I thought that was a pretty
[01:16:20] good methodology, man. Like, no, okay, I'm not going to think about that right now. Yeah, I mean,
[01:16:23] it was like I had a barrier. You're just so desensitized when you're over there. Like,
[01:16:27] I'm pretty sure the book talks about it. But we went on patrol and then one of the A&A guys
[01:16:32] or A&P was wearing a bright green, you know, like a construction vest. And now we're all
[01:16:38] in getting ready to load up in the trucks and someone made the joke I think it was me or maybe
[01:16:42] creator. But either way, we were like, well, that guy's going to get shot today because he stood out.
[01:16:46] He ended up being the only guy that was shot that day and he ended up dying, you know, eventually
[01:16:49] from his wounds. But he said, oh, well, he got, yep, that guy died. But you're just, you know,
[01:16:53] say it like, hoping to get shot, but you're just like, well, that's part of what happens. But she
[01:16:58] didn't like hearing my stories of the combat and things like that. So I was just like, well, I guess I won't
[01:17:01] talk about them. She's like, you just get so excited about telling those stories and you laugh about it.
[01:17:04] And it's real serious. I'm like, well, I made it. Like, you know, yeah, but you still snap an action.
[01:17:10] I was driving to my house with my buddy. And we went past the firing range and they opened up
[01:17:15] the 240s and like, I hit the brakes contact right contact right at pull over and me and him.
[01:17:21] I both reaching for our M4s, which was supposed to be next to us. We're like, oh, oh, yeah,
[01:17:26] I made a mini van. It was a Chevy in Paul. For me, wasn't mini van. I have a mini van. I love it.
[01:17:36] Oh, speaking of many vans, you found out you're, you're going to be a daddy at this point, too,
[01:17:41] when you came home from your second appointment. Oh, no, that'd be awful. If I came from second
[01:17:44] appointment, I found something to be a dad. It took us a little while. Oh, well, four months after I got back,
[01:17:48] we're going to, yeah, right off. Yeah, that case, a few of the ones I wasn't trying to apply anything.
[01:17:54] I don't know. Yeah, but we, yeah, so I didn't plan on it right away, you know, I haven't
[01:18:00] children, but find out we're going to have children or have a daughter and work down great, you know,
[01:18:05] I'm very excited. Did the whole nesting thing? My wife had a sweet Mazda 3 hatchback. What's the
[01:18:10] whole nesting thing? You know, like set the baby room up. You never really, I could tell my wife
[01:18:14] because I bought her in a brand new car in 2010. I was brand new offline Mazda 3 hatchback. She loves it.
[01:18:19] I loved it. I was like, that baby's he's not going to fit in that car. She's like, yeah, it's going to be fine.
[01:18:23] I'm like, no, it's not. Finding a so mad one day, like after arguing with her about it, I went
[01:18:28] out there and I popped the car seat in. And I said, go ahead and jump in your, Jared, obviously, honey,
[01:18:32] go ahead and jump in there and she couldn't fit. She's like, oh, just jump right off at 10. She was so mad.
[01:18:36] I loved everything. You know, because then I won. I won that game. You were right. That feels good.
[01:18:45] I got you off topic. So yeah, we were going to have a kid. I'm straight on top of away.
[01:18:49] Tight on top of over here. I know you're professional. I didn't doubt that.
[01:18:55] September 27, 2011, their daughter was born. Wow. I made some weird noises in the back of my throat.
[01:19:02] So there our kid was with goo all over her and she was wrinkly and scrunched up and all I could
[01:19:09] think of that she was the most beautiful thing in the world. It's so great to cry. The nurse said,
[01:19:17] I did not cry. So I just kept making weird noises in my throat.
[01:19:21] I was like, the nurse is like, it's okay. It's okay to cry, Mr. Meals. I'm like,
[01:19:26] I'm crying. Now I'm like, oh, that was weird in this case. Like, this guy's taking his kid home.
[01:19:34] I mean, I almost fought the pediatrician that day. Oh man. I wanted to get there.
[01:19:37] I was talking about Belgium beer, some damn thing. And like, I hear the two doctors talk and my kids
[01:19:41] and they're crying and the nurse comes out saying, hey, who's supposed to be looking at my kid? And they're like,
[01:19:45] oh, doctor, this, you have the baby and their, I don't have one in there. And she was, you must have a guy goes,
[01:19:49] oh, I'm supposed to forgot how on chuckles it off and then goes it back, talk and I told the nurse to get that kid back in that room. And I turned around that guy.
[01:19:56] And I'm already up like, you know, 18, 20 hours because we went to labor and do whatever and eyes of bloodshot. And I'm just like,
[01:20:02] still jack from looking at the weights and I'm like, you know, you're not going to look at my kid.
[01:20:06] If I'm yet better pediatrician, the guy's like, and I had to go get Kelsey's thumb and the came in. She was, they were very nice when they got in.
[01:20:12] I was like, I don't know why. You know, Tower and Orva's guy, like, I will beat you if you touch my kid.
[01:20:18] You're not doing her job, bro. Now we put her in the car seat, take her home and we get home and I'm other than
[01:20:25] those with us and we're looking at Kelsey goes to your car. She was, why should you not buckled? As a team,
[01:20:30] I thought you did. She was Travis, I thought you did it. No. Strike, you know, you're on. Good,
[01:20:35] good data ward, no one coming out of the gates coming out of the gate, strong.
[01:20:38] I think they'll fortify me in a drive, no car. There are no buckled cars. I'm a good driver.
[01:20:43] Yeah, that's good. Luckily. And meanwhile this time you're still a soldier, you go to,
[01:20:47] you go to a jump master school and you failed jump master school the first time. I did.
[01:20:54] Yeah. And in the sad part, it wasn't like the J&PI. There you go.
[01:20:57] Let's jump. I'm a part of the J&PI. The written exam.
[01:21:01] Yeah. That reading. That's fun. No, you know what? That academic part of jump master school.
[01:21:06] I've heard that's the most brutal part. It was rough. It was rough. And I failed. I failed that.
[01:21:11] And I was like, oh, you must be a dumbass, you know, I'm like, I am. But I went back
[01:21:16] to the next, you know, the next cycle. I did a better thing. Through. You know, I thought it was cool
[01:21:20] in here. You talked about, you know, one kid you threw out the plane. Yeah. I give another kid you
[01:21:27] kicked out the plane. Never find. Yeah. And that's the thing. They came and thank you later.
[01:21:31] Because they're just like scared, right? I'm not sure if they made it on. I don't know.
[01:21:34] Yeah. Well, it no. Look that you made up here. Yeah. You claimed.
[01:21:40] That's most fabricated. Look. No. Yeah. So I give my brief. And I always made the youngest
[01:21:45] or the, like the least senior guy I give the brief. So like you tell him the brief if, you know,
[01:21:51] I say green light go and you don't go, give it to the or two more times. If you don't jump,
[01:21:54] I will unhook you. Attach you, give it off or it'll touch your equipment. So, you know, say go to
[01:21:58] the real pair trip or whatever. That's what I know jumpers. That one is called.
[01:22:01] Uh, they have a name for it. Yeah. Jump refusal. Jump refusal. Yeah. So yeah.
[01:22:05] Could then that be a territory. Oh, yeah. And then as I say my brief, you're, you know, this is all three
[01:22:09] pages you got to memorize. I'd stop my brief right there and say, but I guarantee you today
[01:22:13] if you're on my door, you are going. So I told the guy, you know, green light go and like the first
[01:22:18] guy went. The second guy went third guy went fourth guy or whatever. That'll go and then finally
[01:22:22] get to like 13 or 14. That's what's the exit all, you know, 30 pair tripers or 32, whatever.
[01:22:28] And this guy's like frozen. I'm like, I know you, uh, think you're not going to go, but you
[01:22:32] better jump out of this plane and you're like, you know, and I said, I told you you were going and
[01:22:36] then back with shirt back with pants. I just threw them out and then the person behind
[01:22:40] was like, I'm like, get going. And then another jump, the same thing happened. I said, I told you
[01:22:45] you were going. He's, they're frozen the door. Like one foot back. I just grabbed the top. Oh,
[01:22:50] sorry, back that grab the top of the plane. I just kicked right in the back of his pair. She
[01:22:53] out of the door. We went. I was like, we'd hear those rumors, but I never saw it happen.
[01:22:58] Yeah. I mean, if they don't jump, they're going to lose money. And then they're going to waste a
[01:23:01] good pass. And then the plane either can go back around, make another pass and like prolong
[01:23:05] everybody's night and make it harder because I have a person I got to paperwork on now,
[01:23:09] because I don't like to do. Or you can barely write. Yeah, what I understand. So what? No
[01:23:14] right hand. So he's be a hand-it. So my ex-back. But that's cool. Take, take folks and me
[01:23:18] with a lot of like, um, but yeah, I mean, so it was just fear got the best of them. And I was just like,
[01:23:25] no, we're going today. And you're, you know, I said some other choice words in there here, but they
[01:23:29] went. But what I liked about that from like a broader perspective than just airborne school is
[01:23:34] like so often, man, people just need to like go. Because like like you said, once you go and you
[01:23:39] get that first thing under your belt, then they go and they jump. It's no problem. You know, but so often
[01:23:43] people are, they just, they're just scared of the unknown, you know? And what you got to do is just go,
[01:23:47] just jump. Well, my fit jump in everyone's school, that can I, you know, peevey two meals.
[01:23:52] I jumped out and it was nighttime combat. I was so scared. I didn't know what to do. But I was like,
[01:23:56] well, I'm not going to be the big sister on this airplane, you know. So I drove out like suitman.
[01:24:00] And I got my lift, leg caught up in the risers. I was coming down like a, like a flamingo and my
[01:24:07] shoot started to collapse on me. And I was shaking my, I was falling fast. But I had pull my reserve.
[01:24:11] You pulled your reserve at everyone's school. Yeah. No kid. They were mad about that. Oh, yeah.
[01:24:16] But I was dropping fast and I guess you survived, which is a good thing. Yeah. Yeah. But my,
[01:24:20] my leg was tangled up so bad. It's in the first jump in the vision. I'm like, oh,
[01:24:24] I don't know if I want to do it anymore. And then the guy in front of me went and I was like,
[01:24:26] well, okay, he did it. That's, yeah, that's not good to have a, uh, have to pull your reserve
[01:24:33] at an airborne school. But I mean, it wasn't because of malfunctioning because my own stupidity.
[01:24:38] I dove out like suitman, my left leg got caught up in there and I couldn't shake it out. And then I was
[01:24:42] like watching the silver wets above me, they're like, pull your reserve bells and they're like, okay.
[01:24:45] Take up E6. So now you're, now your staff sergeant take over a weapon squad.
[01:24:56] Which is the senior spot. But I was, I went to work that day. I got picked, finished AL, ALC, or whatever.
[01:25:04] Which is a E6 course. I went my first turn. So I have offers and, you know, second and first brigade.
[01:25:09] Five away. I'm, I'm going to take those about have a squad leader spot, you know, I get back from
[01:25:14] this four day vacation or four day break. I came back and gave him the senior spot. Here you go.
[01:25:18] Yes. Oh, yes. And Kelsey, she didn't really want you to go overseas again to Chey.
[01:25:27] I mean, yes and no, she understood it. But I mean, obviously no wife wants to, they're
[01:25:31] love when to go overseas or there hasn't been to go overseas or whatever. We just bought a house,
[01:25:35] the baby was just born quite frankly, we could use, we could use the tax pretty money.
[01:25:39] 100% could use that money that you get from being over there and also we have the soldiers coming
[01:25:44] to my house and have barbecues and Chey-C's, how they look up to me and how I'm in charge of them.
[01:25:48] And it's this old camaraderie and brotherhood thing. I had orders to forthood. I had my sergeant major
[01:25:53] cancel on. I was like, I don't know why you're kicking me out. I go, I'm not kicking you out. I said,
[01:25:57] sergeant major, I have orders to forthood and he's like, you, not want to go. I said, no, I need to
[01:26:00] deploy these guys. So he's just like, I'll take care of it. The way you put in the book is the
[01:26:05] reason I went overseas was because of the soldier next to me. The guys in my squad are jobless to
[01:26:10] protect American, keep the Taliban at bay. I'd train my men. I taught them all I knew. It was my
[01:26:16] job to take care of them. I couldn't imagine them deploying without me.
[01:26:23] And I mean, I was quite frankly upset. I got those orders. But they were building a new brigade.
[01:26:27] And they wanted combat NCOs with over two years of combat experience to go help, you know,
[01:26:32] lead these guys. And I was like, a noble, I get it. But not not for me right now.
[01:26:40] You're leaving. And Josh is going away at the same time. Your brother and all your wife's brother
[01:26:46] going away. Same time. Here we go. Back to the book. She was in tears. A beautiful mess.
[01:26:53] Josh was leaving on that same deployment too. But a day later than I was. So he came to see me off
[01:26:59] in support of sister. I hugged him and he hugged me back. Chloe was five months old and sleeping
[01:27:04] sounding her car seat. She never woke up when I kissed her cheek. I unstrap my daughter,
[01:27:10] picked her up and cradled her tightly one last time in my arms. She inhaled deeply smiled
[01:27:15] and carried on sleeping. Then I waved goodbye. Walking away from my loved ones, I had to ask myself
[01:27:22] if this third deployment felt different from the first two. I had a child to think about now.
[01:27:27] A family. I knew there would be 10 days in fire fights ahead. But honestly, I wasn't afraid of dying.
[01:27:35] I wouldn't be reckless and make myself an easy target and I didn't want to die.
[01:27:40] But I knew that if I got hit, then I got hit. If it happened, then it was meant to be.
[01:27:47] As a soldier, it's not like I talk about my emotions every day. I don't write poetry. I don't
[01:27:53] watch romantic comedies as a rule. I'm trained to kill people. That's what I do. You've got to be
[01:28:00] tough in the 80s. Second, you've got to be as hard as life. You don't want to show weakness ever,
[01:28:07] particularly with any of your guys around. When you're overseas and out in the middle of nowhere
[01:28:12] and you have 12 to 20 guys with you, you can't take a seat and say you're done. As a leader,
[01:28:19] I couldn't throw my helmet down and complain that things weren't fair. You have to make the best of it.
[01:28:25] You have to keep going. You've got to be as tough as they come. But even so, as I walked away from
[01:28:33] my wife and child and brother-in-law, the wind struck my eye and I wiped away the wetness with the
[01:28:41] back of my sleeve. Harder going away on this deployment? No, a little bit. It didn't feel right.
[01:28:51] I actually had a conversation with my brother-in-law and his garage with him.
[01:28:54] I was like, you know, Josh, it's always a guy that you don't expect to get hit. That gets hit.
[01:28:58] We didn't start naming out the people from our deployments because we were the same brigade always,
[01:29:02] just different unions. And I said, I just don't feel good about it. I mean, nothing I couldn't
[01:29:06] go where I wasn't going to go. But yeah, it was harder. You know, my wife and everything. I was
[01:29:10] supposed to leave the next day. I went to work and I like, hey, look, we need to take this
[01:29:13] truck at guys over. Can you leave tonight instead of tomorrow night? And I was like, well,
[01:29:19] yeah, I got to leave work right now. And I was going to see my wife and my kid and I like, yeah,
[01:29:23] you can go. So I went. But it does, you know, I wouldn't say each deployment's harder. The second one
[01:29:30] wasn't hard for me to go. I mean, I had to take a bite, but part of my job, the third one was more
[01:29:35] man, I hope I get, you know, to come back home. But you got to push those thoughts, you know, out
[01:29:41] of your head. You can't, I was stop people can't dwell on and you can't think about it. You can't,
[01:29:45] you know, worry about what's going to happen. You got to just push through and whatever happens
[01:29:49] does happen. But, you know, as long as you're not reckless and careless, you know, you can't
[01:29:54] affect what your out comes. You're going to be anyway. So you might as well just keep pushing forward.
[01:29:57] Yeah, you know, you, um, and now you end up on this deployment, the the fog of the strong point
[01:30:04] that you're in so small doesn't even have a name. Just like the middle of nowhere. This is strong point.
[01:30:11] And you got there. What was the, what was the environment like there? I mean, the units that
[01:30:18] leave always give real great advice and their commander told our commander, you're not going to
[01:30:24] really change a lot of stuff here with how the rules of engagement's now, because the rules of
[01:30:28] engagement is over different, present, sees their different leadership changed. And they said, you know,
[01:30:34] when we go out, we take shape of cream, we line when we walked, you know, we come back. That's
[01:30:38] all you're going to do. And of course, when we get there, we're hard charging, we're going to go
[01:30:41] here, here, here, here and here and here. And SOPs changed the bow space all changed. We lived in
[01:30:48] like my first one, I was on the big five. Second moment, I was in a row of little, uh, little
[01:30:53] strong points and fobs. And then this one, we were just like, hey, here you go. We're going to hell
[01:30:58] after you're in your drop-toff. This is you. Three six of the around is all bad. And that's just how it was.
[01:31:04] So we would go out the first day went out, got a huge firefight. And that's my guys really
[01:31:09] understood. Like I wasn't a lot of schools. Like I went to college and went to jump at
[01:31:13] just school. I went to the advanced leadership course, the ALC course for E6. So when I got back
[01:31:18] and I got to the weapons squad leader spot, some of the guys didn't know who I was from anybody.
[01:31:24] Got it. My first sergeant knew me, that's why I got this spot. But the other guys were like,
[01:31:28] why the hell is this guy jokes around? He doesn't, he's not mean, he doesn't smoke anybody. He's,
[01:31:33] you know, really, I was polite, I guess. And whatever, you know, normal everyday guy, I didn't have
[01:31:37] this trip in my shoulder. After I first firefight, like two of the guys that came from a different
[01:31:41] after unit were like, look, I didn't get while you were the squad leader, I didn't get how you got E6.
[01:31:46] And while you were in charge, but now I do because, you know, when she hits a fan, I was,
[01:31:51] I was a guy needing to be there, I guess. Yeah, I mean, this firefight going to the book here,
[01:31:57] sergeant Butler yelled, I'm hit. I'm hit. One of his team leaders, sergeant, Marty Miller ran over
[01:32:02] to him and swept his hands long, but there's body to look for blood, Miller ran back to our lieutenant
[01:32:08] report, we couldn't find any. And you just, you sprint it out into this riverbed during this fire
[01:32:18] fight, it's going on. And here you are, I'm still one of my body armor, but I was essentially
[01:32:22] weaponless. If I'd kept my rifle, it would only slowed me down. I ran over to where sergeant
[01:32:26] Butler lay, he was probably 50 meters total away. It's my leg, he shouted, I can't put any weight on it,
[01:32:31] shut up, I yelled. Get on my back now. Let's go without waiting for him to answer. I grabbed
[01:32:36] his right hand with my left squatted down and threw him over my shoulders and a fireman's carry.
[01:32:41] He was probably 185 pounds. I hefted him up and ran back to safety. So there you go, just,
[01:32:50] I understand after you perform like that in a firefighter, boys, like, oh yeah, we get it.
[01:32:55] Well, we, yeah, so we were, on one side of the water, the driver of a bed, and my CEO was like,
[01:33:01] we're going to cross this riverbed. I'm like, all right, I mean, that's really, really open,
[01:33:05] but let's do it. So first, second, and headquarters, whatever, went across. Right. And just, just,
[01:33:11] I always have to point this stuff out, because we have a lot of guys that are in the military that
[01:33:15] listen to us. And so you're just doing a classic cover move. One element's going to stay back on the
[01:33:19] high grid, or on one side of the river to cover as the other element's pushing across. Yeah, and this
[01:33:23] was our first day in country. So we're just trying to learn the balance base. Because we were thinking
[01:33:27] about setting up another OP or strong point on the, on the, on the water, because there's a lot of traffic.
[01:33:33] And they start to move over over there, and they get about 50 meters away, 75 meters, whatever,
[01:33:39] and then all hell breaks loose. Shots, remember where. And third squad and four squad,
[01:33:43] weapon squad, which is me, are over on the river, you know, riverbed. And we start laying in,
[01:33:48] everybody ducks down, takes cover, and I'm still standing, and I'm yelling, and I'm one of my guns
[01:33:52] are shooting to the far left, where she was shooting to the far right, he's the right element. So I walk
[01:33:56] over and I kick the team leader, you know, actually, I think I might as, MAC just head real hard.
[01:34:01] I said, you need to fix this, it's a fix it now, and I told him where to shoot. I went back over
[01:34:05] and directed some more traffic, and then some of the, the other two teams there are some
[01:34:09] of the third squad were just firing all their rounds. After we already gained the fire superiority,
[01:34:12] so I yelled at them and said, you two, no better, you've been here before, control your rounds,
[01:34:16] control your fire, and just make sure it's depressing. And then, Bother went down, and we're like,
[01:34:21] oh, Bother just got hit, and he ended up tearing his MCLACL and Manisca, so whatever. I mean,
[01:34:26] this is a pretty bad damage. And my first start was like, there's squad going get them.
[01:34:31] And I said, oh, first I know where but I got it, so I took my weapon off, and I am for, you know,
[01:34:35] as I hear, hold this for me, I tossed in my M4, because there's just, you know, it gets in the way,
[01:34:39] you know, I ran down, and then the A and A were on the riverbank, right, kind of right behind me.
[01:34:44] They're like, I said, you guys do not shoot, but don't you, don't you shoot me in the back.
[01:34:48] Sorry about that. I didn't get edit that, but maybe you don't. But I was like, don't you
[01:34:51] guys shoot me, so I ran out and got them, took them back, and I set them down, so I ran out, 50,
[01:34:56] you came back, and took them about about 50 to 80 behind the building, and set them down.
[01:35:00] I sat down and get drink a lot of, first sight, my first sight goes, sorry,
[01:35:04] I'm going, I was going to need you back here. Okay, I ran back, I was like, oh, crap, where's my gun?
[01:35:09] And Marty had it, somebody said, oh, here you go. And I was the last one on the objective.
[01:35:13] We had to hike back two miles with Butler on the stretcher, but I was the last one with the F1,
[01:35:18] the objective, pop and smoke for the kayak was to come over and cover our movement.
[01:35:24] The two guys at yellow, the ones that told me they'd found me to hell them back, like we get it now,
[01:35:27] Sergeant Mills will follow you to hell back. Wait, they were just kept shooting, I'm like,
[01:35:31] you guys are team there, you've been here, what are you doing? Yeah, that's awesome, man.
[01:35:34] This reality check. It's another example, I'm in again, just, you're talking about how you
[01:35:40] are in leadership position, you're just backed off a little bit, you're, your pain and
[01:35:44] intentional, what's going on instead of you being on your gun and shooting your backed off,
[01:35:47] you're just watching, that's what you need to do in the leadership position. You got a back off a little bit,
[01:35:52] you got to observe what's happening, you got to make sense of what's happening, and then you got to
[01:35:56] make sure that people are doing the right things. Yeah, I mean, you know, if I shot my gun,
[01:36:01] I mean, that's great. I got to change shoot my M4 and do it had to do, but if I wasn't controlling
[01:36:06] my two heavy weapons squad, you know, like I had the 240, that was the king of the battlefield,
[01:36:11] if you will, with the heaviest firepower, the housing charge of, they weren't doing the job the right way,
[01:36:15] then we were all in trouble. Yeah, as I always say, God bless the machine gunners.
[01:36:24] Yeah. And that, it sounds like that deployment was, I mean, the firefights that you talk about in here
[01:36:33] were a lot, you get a lot of firefights every other day, if not every day. So this one here,
[01:36:41] you went out and did this raid, and then you get word after you do this raid, that there's no
[01:36:47] aircraft to come and pick you up from the raid and go ahead and walk back. Yeah, that's good times.
[01:36:54] Yeah, we went out. We, I told my guys, like, look, it's gonna be hell, it's just bring extra. We had
[01:37:00] each of us, 2,000 rounds of 762. Dang. And then we also had, I always carried 2,000 rounds of
[01:37:07] 762, or I guess depending on the mission, it would change between a thousand and a thousand. And then I
[01:37:12] carried 20 grenades, 10 on my armor and 10 in my bag, and then another 20, 40 micrys added 20,
[01:37:19] 30, and then 425, 5, 5, 6 rounds, like not in my magazines, and I always had. That's like
[01:37:27] freaking 200 pounds. Yeah, but without ammunition, you're kind of screwed, that's really good point.
[01:37:33] So I always had 12 magazines on my person, and then I'd have 13th one in the chamber. So I had 13
[01:37:39] full magazines on me, not because 13's like some special number, just because like my mag
[01:37:43] pouch is weird. Yeah, my mag pouch was, you know, too deep, so I could have 6, 3 on each side.
[01:37:50] Yeah, and we went out there and we ended up getting like 755 fights in my back home. We had 4 to 10 knees,
[01:37:56] and I got, I got, I got put next to the gun the one time, and you know how, it's called
[01:38:02] Pigtail and Ratel the Cup. When you put your 7, 6, 2 link in, you have one side come out, and then you
[01:38:07] you know, switch back it in, and then the other side come out. So when you hook to a gun,
[01:38:11] it pulls out your bag, and then if you have another bag next to you, clip it together.
[01:38:14] What we shot through all my rounds one, and one of the things we shot through all the 7,
[01:38:17] 6, 2 rounds, was like, oh, this is so much like lighter, and I got to another spot, and one of my,
[01:38:22] my guy's Brandon, Feste, we've won the guy's with me later on, but he was almost knocked.
[01:38:28] Like, past now, so heavy, I said, don't want me to take my bag. He goes, no, I got it, so as a,
[01:38:32] give me your bag, don't argue with me, and I was like, you need to make it back to the fob.
[01:38:35] And then our, our P.A. that came out with us, awesome guy, Ranger, regiment guy, and he's
[01:38:42] turning to the doctor. He was dehydrating really bad on the walk back, going hallucinations and stuff.
[01:38:47] So, we decided, me and two other guys, three other guys, we're going to head just like,
[01:38:54] try to head and walk faster, and everybody else, and like, made it back to the fob first to get a,
[01:38:58] get a m wrap to come get them. But, yeah, and we actually, one of the guys we detained,
[01:39:03] we, we detained all these guys, they had 600 pounds home explosives, batteries, RPGs, and the thing
[01:39:10] was a drone filed their RPG team back on the morse I go to this compound, AK-47s, but we didn't
[01:39:15] get pictures with all their stuff. So, we turned it over to the local national government, and they
[01:39:19] said, we didn't get pictures, these guys are, these guys are free, so let them go. Turns out,
[01:39:25] the guy that, we had detained one of them, because we hide it them, fingerprints were all over my
[01:39:30] bomb, and there were 13 bombs in a row, and they were all over the bombs that the one that I hit,
[01:39:35] so the guy that we captured, as one to put the bomb in, Alpha Troop caught them, and you need to
[01:39:41] take care of them. So, all right, sorry, I bring it down to town. I've been. No.
[01:39:52] Going to April 10th, 2012, you get some intel in the afternoon that there's a,
[01:40:00] ID out in the village, and you guys are going to go check it out, and here we're going to the
[01:40:05] book. We hiked only about 400 yards to the village, in addition to my weapons team, there were
[01:40:09] other squads along on patrol, a total of 28 soldiers. My lieutenant Zachary Lewis went to the left,
[01:40:17] with the first and second squads heading to meet with the village elders, while the rest of our
[01:40:21] men went with me around the village to the outside to offer support in case of an attack.
[01:40:26] Along with my gun team I had, my platoon, sergeant, and a medic, sergeant Daniel Bateson
[01:40:33] with my group, all looks calm. It was just another day and half Gannis Dan, another normal patrol
[01:40:39] we approached an abandoned A&A security post to portable buildings and stopped near the buildings
[01:40:46] to establish a security perimeter. I called for Fesi to bring the minesweeper. Check this area,
[01:40:54] was the only order I gave. Fesi walked up a path used by villagers and scanned all the area around.
[01:41:02] You went up and back and all was clear. No beeps. There was no reason to question anything.
[01:41:08] Fesi finished his minesweeping duties and went up and went to set up on the far flank.
[01:41:14] I called riot up to me and asked him where he thought we should put the gun.
[01:41:20] I knew where it should go, but I wanted to let him decide making sure he knew his stuff.
[01:41:26] He motioned to exactly where I thought we should put it, a good spot. And I said,
[01:41:30] all right, go get an F and bring him up here. That was it. Riot left to go get an F. And as he did,
[01:41:37] I set my backpack down. The backpack touching the dirt was all it took. Such a simple act of war.
[01:41:46] My world erupted. I saw a flash of flame and heard a huge cobblum. Hot jagged pieces of explosives
[01:41:56] ripped through me. I cartwilled backward and over-end, hit the ground and slammed my face hard
[01:42:03] against the compacted earth. Instantly I felt my left eye starting to swell shut. I smelled
[01:42:09] burning flesh my own. I tasted dirt and I was wet with sweat and moisture just like I'd walked
[01:42:17] out of a hot shower. Dirt fell everywhere through the air. It rained down and clung to my eyes,
[01:42:24] nose and mouth. I don't remember rolling over, but I must have because I glanced to the side and saw
[01:42:29] that my right arm was completely gone. I caught a glimpse of my left arm covered in blood and
[01:42:35] tattered. My arm trembled as if it had a will of its own. I looked down and saw my right leg was
[01:42:42] also gone. The stump looked like a piece of raw meat. The bottom of my left leg was still attached,
[01:42:49] but held on only by a few strands of skin. I saw all this in a flash, in an instant.
[01:42:56] I felt confusion, but no panic. My first thought of what was of my guys. I flop my remaining
[01:43:04] arm toward the microphone clip to my carrier plate and somehow managed to push the button. I
[01:43:09] hit a bomb. I said, I need help. Bates in my medic rushes up to me along with staff sergeant
[01:43:16] Keith, hand-bright, arpatoon sergeant. Only about 30 seconds had passed since the blast.
[01:43:22] Immediately they applied turnic hits to hold whatever blood was still inside me.
[01:43:27] I'm not going to make it. I said, leave me and go to save my guys. Shut up, sergeant,
[01:43:31] mills said, Bates in. Let me do my job. I ignored Bates and yelled my men's name like roll call.
[01:43:38] Fesse, riot, nF to see if they were okay. Two were hit. Fesse and riot and other medics were
[01:43:46] already caring for them. They were bleeding, but nothing was missing. They yelled back that they were
[01:43:52] going to be okay. I calmed down. More soldiers ran toward me. Sergeant Alex voice another
[01:44:00] medic wandered aloud where to best get IV access. There were no pulses to check except from my
[01:44:06] carotid artery. He quickly ripped the open my vest, shaved the spot on my chest and put an IV
[01:44:14] straight into my sternum. It hurt going in and I must have hout because he yelled at me that I was
[01:44:20] going to be fine. I yelled back, dock shut up. I know. He and I both calmed down.
[01:44:29] Someone stuck a fence in all pop in my mouth. It's a potent pain killer that releases as the
[01:44:33] pop dissolves. I down the first one spit out the stick and asked for another. You won't need it,
[01:44:39] someone said. I was still thinking that I was going to die. I didn't want to show fear.
[01:44:46] I didn't want to freak out. You never want to show fear around your men.
[01:44:52] Let my family know I dealt with it without crying, I said. Tell them yourself, someone grunted.
[01:45:00] He was being encouraging letting me know I wasn't dead yet. I tried to see around me. I raised my
[01:45:07] head wanting to get a visual of feisty and riot. Someone shoved my head back down.
[01:45:13] I still committed a voice. My one eye was swollen completely shut.
[01:45:22] The other eye was blurry from dirt. I tried to raise my head again. Again, I was pushed flat.
[01:45:27] My eyes were watering now. The dirt turned into mud. Time passed and I didn't know what was happening.
[01:45:32] I mumbled something that there was no reply. Only the study, or the black-awke helicopter
[01:45:39] touching down nearby. Six men surrounded me, hefted me up and carried me over.
[01:45:46] All told, it might have been ten minutes since the blast until the helicopter arrived.
[01:45:52] Fesce and riot were first inside the helicopter. Everything was foggy and noisy and I couldn't
[01:45:56] make out my surroundings clearly. My two guys were on seats and I saw blood and bandages
[01:46:02] jumbled in their direction. Fesce had, strappin' on his face, riot had strappin' his face legs and hands.
[01:46:10] Their image is faded away. I focused on the noise of the rotors.
[01:46:17] We were in the air and the flight medic were taken care of me.
[01:46:22] riot yelled and pain. I tried to look around. Someone needed to attend a riot.
[01:46:26] Where are the medics? One of the medics was talking to the pilots up front.
[01:46:30] riot was yelling again. I looked in Fesce's direction and told him to calm down.
[01:46:35] Fesce nodded. riot stopped yelling and I winked at him to let him know he was going to be okay.
[01:46:42] It was all I could think to do.
[01:46:45] The flight medic was a back and view. I could barely seem through the group in my eyes.
[01:46:50] You are a green flight suit and had a big Darth Vader helmet.
[01:46:53] But I tried to speak. He gave me a quizzical look. I yelled as loud as I could. Take your helmet off.
[01:47:01] He took his helmet off. Give my guys water and tell them they're going to be okay. I barked.
[01:47:06] Don't worry. I'll take care of them for you. He said.
[01:47:09] He was busy with some task on me that I couldn't see.
[01:47:13] A moment went by and I added, I'm sorry.
[01:47:17] For what? The medic asked.
[01:47:18] For making you take your helmet off. He gave me a ride grin.
[01:47:24] I realized he'd been doing his job all along doing it well. Both the medics had.
[01:47:31] I just couldn't see all I was happening around me.
[01:47:34] My mind went in and out. I was coherent but fuzzy in spots.
[01:47:39] In 15 minutes the helicopter landed in Canterhar.
[01:47:42] Hospital staff rushed me straight to the operating table. We're going to put you under now.
[01:47:50] Came a voice from above me. I'm fine. I said, leave me alone.
[01:47:55] The mask came over my face and I tried to push it away.
[01:47:59] I remember asking one question.
[01:48:01] Am I ever going to see my baby girl again?
[01:48:21] A little intense. Yeah. My wife and some more choice words.
[01:48:26] I didn't put the book. I said to the flight medic. I had yell three times.
[01:48:29] Last time I threw the effort in there and I was taking a nap.
[01:48:33] In my head I was just taking a private Ryan.
[01:48:36] Don't go out for your mom like the medic when he got shot in the movie.
[01:48:42] I was a guy that I had to snap around and I rolled in. I was so embarrassed to have rolled away from it.
[01:48:49] I stood on top of the mountain and shot off a magazine in the half before I got back down.
[01:48:52] The whole don't show fear. I figured I can't change what happened right now.
[01:48:58] If I raise my pulse, I'm going to bleed faster.
[01:49:03] Thanks to my battoons sergeant, sergeant, and docked baits.
[01:49:07] Then docked voice. I was able to maintain most of my blood.
[01:49:12] They must slap those things on you quick turnicots.
[01:49:15] Then 20 seconds or 30 seconds I think.
[01:49:17] Was the aircraft airborne somewhere and got redirected to you? How did you get a helicopter?
[01:49:24] They're so fast.
[01:49:25] We usually went out when there was helicopters on station.
[01:49:30] Because the threat was so real.
[01:49:34] Not that we needed to talk about this and you guys added it out.
[01:49:38] At night time the Taliban had free reign to do what they wanted. We were told because of
[01:49:43] politics or whatever somebody said we could go out at night time. We had the best night time capabilities.
[01:49:49] We couldn't go out on the raid camera, 30 feet in the air. We would watch them on the screen
[01:49:53] and watch them put bombs in at night time. We couldn't shoot them, shoot them,
[01:49:56] motors at them and couldn't get them. It sucked because you'd watch them put the bombs in.
[01:50:03] Then the next day we were supposed to go out and try to find them. That's why in 2012.
[01:50:06] You say they wouldn't let you shoot them?
[01:50:08] They wouldn't let us go out and get them. They're like, no, I can't go out at night time.
[01:50:11] But we can see them. I don't know why you guys talk about it.
[01:50:15] It does bother me. I can't really.
[01:50:17] I don't like it. You don't get political so you don't have to.
[01:50:20] This with me. Just watching them put bombs and knowing I had to go out and try to find them.
[01:50:23] Then the guy that I found or we walked back through seven different firevites and 10 clicks
[01:50:30] when they went out to do the surveillance on the site. I got blown up at that.
[01:50:34] I've blown up at there was 13 in a row right there.
[01:50:37] And if somebody's in the mines were brand and went up and down, not once but twice and nothing
[01:50:41] alarmed them. There was six days of chain together called Squad Killer.
[01:50:44] You had to be the front guy to hit the first one and then everybody behind them would get
[01:50:48] just taken out. So in a way, as probably better that I got hit that day than have somebody
[01:50:52] walk past and hit it and then everybody behind of you are taken out too.
[01:50:56] Yeah, so just the politics of war I guess.
[01:51:00] Kind of sucked because I would watch and put bombs in the Kyra was a command station.
[01:51:04] The guy shooting at us a hundred yards away with dropped their weapons and walk away and I was
[01:51:07] done there were no longer combatant until the Kyra was where out of fuel.
[01:51:11] And we were going to run 1,000 meters this way because if we did then the guys just take
[01:51:16] either a case and take off. So, you know, the red tape. But when I got blown up,
[01:51:22] I did rate on my LT and I got hit. I don't know how bad it is and I told my men
[01:51:27] to get away from me and keep fighting me off and tell me somebody might drop.
[01:51:30] Then the doctors worked on me for 14 hours. I was told nine doctors and seven nurses
[01:51:35] and two nurses for nine hours but I'm airing out of my lungs. Keep me alive.
[01:51:38] Like took turns pumping air. I was so low on blood. They did over 30 transfusions.
[01:51:43] Yeah. And they didn't have enough in stock. So they were like on the big speaker in
[01:51:47] Canahar saying, A positive blood and universal, we need it now. And they were right from
[01:51:52] I had a lot of tests I had to do for like, you know, a possible age idea or things like that
[01:51:56] because it was just like they were just taking and putting it right in.
[01:51:58] Yep. Cool. All right. Thanks for your blood. We're going to put it right in them.
[01:52:02] They knocked me out medically. You know, maybe I'm conscious.
[01:52:06] And they kept me like that for four days. So I just realized, you know, I always said God bless
[01:52:11] the machine gutters but how about a little God bless the doctors and nurses for sure?
[01:52:15] Oh, absolutely. And the medics. I mean, yeah, and the medics. I would tell my, I go and I speak. I
[01:52:19] might one size about perspective and I tell them, you know, about the guys that I've not made
[01:52:23] it back home and I'm thankful it's still be around and living and I'm going to keep living, you know,
[01:52:27] four of them. And so that, you know, their sacrifice wasn't in vain because what happened to me is
[01:52:33] nowhere near what happened to my buddy Francis Jean films of fourth or Frankie, great friend of mine.
[01:52:37] He died. You know, let me find a wife and a four year old at the time. So I'm thankful for the medical
[01:52:42] advancements and Vietnam. A lot of guys didn't come back like me and I get sometimes people like,
[01:52:46] well, we just didn't see people like you during the Vietnam where it just had so sad this happened.
[01:52:50] And I say, well, that's the reason they didn't come back or, you know, so yeah, I mean,
[01:52:55] the doctors knew how to tie things in and my calf muscles around the end of my left leg now,
[01:52:59] I guess, for padding or something, just nuts, you know. But that was on the 10th and then I still
[01:53:08] had my left hand when they, they got done working on me. My wrist had blown up pretty bad by
[01:53:12] my finger, my index, my middle of my thumb. And then two days later in Boggram, they cut it off.
[01:53:18] My brother-in-law flew in from his outpost to Candahar with me and escorted me because
[01:53:22] did you guys have to fill blue books out? I'm going to pour you to pour you to pour it.
[01:53:25] We call it the blue book. It's like, if I die, bear me with this.
[01:53:27] It's not a blue book, but we do. We do do that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I don't, it was, yeah,
[01:53:32] like a little blue pan. They called the blue book in the army, but it's like, if I die, you know,
[01:53:36] I want my reddering, I want picture of my life and I'm a kid or, you know,
[01:53:39] I want this music to play. Basically playing your funeral is kind of morbid, but I guess it's all right.
[01:53:44] But he was the guy who was supposed to escort my body back home. So he came to where I was at,
[01:53:50] and then they shipped me to Boggram on April 12th. And I was told they took a look at my hand,
[01:53:55] like it's not going to make it. It's just necrotizing and, you know, limb length is a huge
[01:53:59] thing, so they cut it off. And then so they didn't tell him they're doing it. So I rolled
[01:54:04] into surgery and I came back into my hand was gone. But I didn't know because I was still, you know,
[01:54:09] manic or sedated. And then two days later they went for the very first time on April 14th. And I woke
[01:54:15] up in the room. My brother-in-law, he was going to tell me, but what I don't know if I put it in the book.
[01:54:19] I don't think I did. April 14th actually my birthday. So my 25th birthday I found out as a quadruple
[01:54:24] amputee. And it's funny because my first deployment when I didn't know about eight mutations and
[01:54:30] things and Josh was just a friend of mine. I got my brother-in-law. I was like, look, I'm very athletic.
[01:54:33] I play on sports. If I lose a leg or something, just let me bleed out. Like, I mean, I was that
[01:54:37] naive at 19 years old. Like if I lose a hand, just I don't need to live, you know, because I didn't
[01:54:42] know any different. We're now I have I wake up no harm to the legs. And I'm like, oh, okay, well,
[01:54:48] at least I made it, I guess. There. Meanwhile, back on the home front, going to the book,
[01:54:55] Kelsey received a call at 11.53 a.m. her time while standing in her parents' kitchen and Dallas
[01:55:00] taxis years making a tune of fish sandwich. And then it's the commander on the phone. And she describes,
[01:55:08] you know, he tells her straightforward, you know, the severe injury. And this is what she wrote in her
[01:55:15] journal. I could not wrap my head around the pain. My husband must be feeling. I was all alone in the house
[01:55:21] and my actions upset. My daughter to the point where she was screaming. I could do nothing to
[01:55:26] sue her. I couldn't pick her up. I couldn't look at her. My body felt like he was being torn into.
[01:55:31] I wanted so badly to be able to talk to Travis and let him know. I love him and that I think
[01:55:37] God that he was still alive. Then it continues on Kelsey called my dad and Michigan, but when she tried
[01:55:47] to tell him what happened, little would come out. My dad knew something was wrong and kept repeating,
[01:55:53] is he alive, is he alive, is he alive? And then your dad said this, until you go through
[01:56:02] something like that, yourself, it's hard to describe the feeling. There's no eating anymore.
[01:56:06] You don't leave the house. There's a lot of pacing around to just wait. Whenever the phone rang,
[01:56:12] we jumped. You look at the phone and you don't know if you want to answer it or not. So,
[01:56:28] it wasn't obviously, it wasn't just you that got hit too. Your family back home gets hit with the
[01:56:36] shock of all this and also in your squad. There he is. Yeah, there he is. Which is the coolest
[01:56:43] name ever. Because it spells the riot. I mentioned him earlier. But yeah, he got wounded.
[01:56:50] He was pretty bad. I mean, he was able to get up and walk a couple days after. He was,
[01:56:54] he was so afraid quite a bit. And then Fessie got hit as well. He did. And luckily he had his sunglasses on
[01:57:00] because his face was just blasted. But he still has his vision doing great. He just got engaged.
[01:57:06] So, I mean, yeah, it's just a bad day. You know, my dad, when he says he don't eat and do that stuff,
[01:57:13] he actually was in the hospital with me and he got diverted. He lied us real bad. And he almost died.
[01:57:17] He was so dehydrated. He had to go in and like give him surgery and like get, yeah,
[01:57:21] for six months, he'd probably be mad if I told everybody, but he had to close me back because he
[01:57:24] got so dehydrated. Because he cared, you know, it was just so, so worried some for him.
[01:57:31] And then when I woke up, I was kind of a dick. I didn't want to like, my brother and I was like,
[01:57:34] you got a call, you know, Kelsey, you got a car and mom and dad. And I'm like, I'm not talking anybody.
[01:57:37] You know, as you know, your anger, your set, your question and this got hate me and my bad person.
[01:57:42] What did I do wrong in life to get this? I mean, I pay my taxes, you know, I have a family. Why
[01:57:46] would this happen to me? And then a little bit goes to like four scumboards like with 10
[01:57:49] a day and like, no, what the hell, you know, why did I live through this? Is this some kind of sick
[01:57:54] punishment that for something I did wrong? And I mean, you come to a realization like, hey, you know,
[01:58:00] what? Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It is what it is. You can't change it. You might
[01:58:05] as well keep pushing forward. And it's nothing I did wrong in life. It's just what was slated. So,
[01:58:10] you know, as what happened. Yeah, I thought it was interesting. Um, um, that one of the guys on the
[01:58:17] MetaVac bird, like, wrote a wrote a Facebook to Kelsey and was explaining, you know, what it was
[01:58:25] like and and, uh, yeah, I mean, here's what he wrote. My name is first sergeant, wait, the other
[01:58:34] medic, the other flight medic with staff sergeant, Hockersmith, you belong to a family of warriors.
[01:58:40] Other wounded soldiers in the aircraft were injured and screaming, but your husband was more
[01:58:45] more worried about, more worried about then than himself. He described, and then he describes
[01:58:52] like how you were doing the thing and telling him to take his helmet off and, and, uh, you know,
[01:58:58] here, coming back to the book. His face was dirty and there was dust in his eyes, but he never
[01:59:02] shed a tear. I replaced my mind a moment when he looked at the other wounded soldier at another
[01:59:07] wounded soldier and went to re-insure him that it would be okay. My crew is still on duty in his
[01:59:14] units area now. We go back to Kanda Haran Monday, but we won't go back the same way. I'm an E8,
[01:59:21] but this E6 is the example for myself and others to emulate.
[01:59:28] And I actually, I had to get my, I was strapped down, so I had to get my arm out,
[01:59:32] because when I was yelling at him, I was like, hey, take a hell off. I said, take a hell off
[01:59:35] that finally, I got my arm off. I'm not sure how you've caught you, man. That's freaking crazy.
[01:59:39] Good genes, I guess. You know, but I pull my arm out and I said, take your, you know, helmet off,
[01:59:45] effort helmet off and I put my hand over my head to motion like, you know, as my arms
[01:59:50] grouping down or whatever, but I just took your helmet off and then he did and I was like,
[01:59:54] give my guys water to him and be fine. And later, I did apologize for yelling at him and I was like,
[01:59:57] I, and he's already held this war. Yeah. You know, but, you know, at that time, I guess,
[02:00:02] maybe it was easier for me to like think about everything else going on except for myself. You know,
[02:00:07] and I just figured it is what it is, whatever's going to happen. It doesn't do me any justice to
[02:00:13] scream out of yell or be afraid. I mean, hey, I can't change what's going on right now. So just
[02:00:19] do it best. I can't, you know, help situation. Yeah. Man. And Josh shows up like, you know,
[02:00:26] you just talked about this and Josh just say, hey, I'm going to tell you straight.
[02:00:30] Because you asked, you said to Josh, hey, am I paralyzed? And I'm going to the book here. No,
[02:00:35] man, Josh said, you're not paralyzed. You don't need to lie to me. I whispered, I can take it.
[02:00:41] I'm going to tell you straight. Josh knew I'd want to know the truth. You're not paralyzed.
[02:00:47] But both your arms and legs are gone. The date was April 14, 2012.
[02:00:53] Still the same day as when I'd heard the news. I was a quadruple amputee. It was my 25th birthday.
[02:01:07] You talk about the pain. And I think this is something people don't get myself included.
[02:01:16] The pain was so bad. Part of the pain was the thought of what I'd become. I could hardly
[02:01:20] picture the new me. Yet the pain was more than emotional. It was the physical pain. It
[02:01:25] caused my body. I felt like I was on fire. I tried to focus on my breathing and take stock of
[02:01:31] why my pain was so bad. Even if all the medications flowing through me, it still felt like I was
[02:01:36] in a red hot vice. I could hardly take it. I knew Josh would never lie to me. But my arms and legs
[02:01:42] still felt like they were attached. My hands felt like they were burning. Like someone was clamping
[02:01:47] them inside of an industrial furnace. But my hands weren't there. The flames were eating away my
[02:01:52] ligaments, my nerves, my skin, my legs, my phantom legs were clamped in that same fire.
[02:01:59] Bolts of agony surge from limbs that weren't the register that weren't there and registered to a
[02:02:04] brain that still was. The pain came and went, came and went, came and went.
[02:02:10] Josh started in his seat and leaned or started in his seat and leaned closer. Travis,
[02:02:17] you need me to get the nerves. Nurse, I didn't say anything. I was itchy and sweating bad.
[02:02:22] He pressed a buzzer. Then when I got a cool cloth and laid it on my forehead, the nurse came in and
[02:02:29] up to my morphine. Just before I went under again, everything that I'd always drilled into
[02:02:35] myself rushed through my mind. Never show fear. Never let your guys see you in pain. Don't cry out.
[02:02:42] Even when I'd been lying on the ground right after the blast, I'd felt pain then, but I hadn't
[02:02:47] showed it. When that I view it shoved through my chest, that was painful, but I wasn't going to
[02:02:52] complain then. You don't let people down. You just don't. But this time the pain was so bad. It was
[02:03:00] still so bad, even with more pain killers in me now. So bad, so bad, so bad. This time, I wanted to do
[02:03:09] the unthinkable. Two words rose and began to vocalize within my throat. Josh, I said,
[02:03:18] yeah, what do you need, buddy? I swallowed and whispered two words. I quit.
[02:03:33] Yeah, not good. I don't know what, I mean, this is a lot of pain, I guess. I don't know why,
[02:03:42] you know, you said there any question like, am I going to be a burden on my family?
[02:03:46] Why, how, you know, my wife should she stay with me? I mean, what do I have left to offer?
[02:03:51] My daughter am I going to be a monster when I get to see her finally? And then it's like,
[02:03:55] why did I live through this? Why, why did I make it? Not that I guess angry I lived her at the time
[02:04:01] of, you know, when that was happening. I wasn't so much angry, just more of a question like, why?
[02:04:05] Well, what's the purpose? Why not just let me go up? My wife gets, you know, four and a thousand
[02:04:09] from the government and then she can go remarry and have somebody that's able-bodied and live a happy life.
[02:04:14] But, you know, a lot of questions are, you know, when you're sitting in the hotel room,
[02:04:18] I mean, a hospital bed, you know, in the hospital room and you just got started to see me all the time.
[02:04:22] You just never know what would think. And the military, it's easy. Everything is laid out for you.
[02:04:27] The other mission today is that our plans, what we're going to do is how we're going to get it done.
[02:04:30] There, it's just all unknown. And that pain, like, from missing limbs, it sounds freaking horrible.
[02:04:37] Oh, yeah, I mean, it was like a spike getting drove through my heel, fingernails getting, like, just ripped off and then
[02:04:43] seared and it was just, it would be bad. What causes that? Well, I mean, a lot of it is
[02:04:48] Phantom Limping, so your nerves try to find where your hands and your feet are and if they can't find it,
[02:04:53] they try to redirect and keep trying to find it. So it's just one experience getting, you know,
[02:04:59] zap to another. And then they, you're probably going to talk, they had like, experimental things they
[02:05:06] tried to tell me because it was so bad. And after the second one, they tried, I was like, oh, I feel a
[02:05:12] little better than the doctor, like, was all excited. And I was like, oh, now the pain's back and I'm
[02:05:17] going to, you know, got all yellin out and pain and stuff and he just, he actually cried he felt so bad.
[02:05:22] Because it was to the point where they got to find some cure or I'm going to be so,
[02:05:29] just an agony. Yeah, agony or I'll be so used to the medication that the doses are going to
[02:05:36] get to the point where I'm just going to OD on them, you know, because I'm going to be so, so
[02:05:41] they're custom. I can't think of the word right now. It's killing me. Uh,
[02:05:46] telling me, yeah, yeah, yeah, my tolerance will be so high that I'm just going to end up OD.
[02:05:52] Damn. Of course, you know, you're wondering where you get your sense of humor,
[02:05:59] you're telling your dad what happened to you. Like, I stepped on a mind went flying through the air.
[02:06:03] I did a 180. It was crazy. Well, Travis, my dad said the important question is, did you look good doing it? Yeah.
[02:06:11] Yeah, I mean, I think I did. Yeah. Um, and meanwhile, Kelsey, she, you know, you've been
[02:06:23] voicing some of these concerns like about, hey, can I even be a good dad now? Can I, I'm
[02:06:27] going to be a burden? You're kind of telling Josh some of those things. And she told or he told
[02:06:32] Kelsey, and here we go back to the book. My brother told me that Travis is nervous to see me because he
[02:06:37] doesn't know how I will react or if I will continue to love him as my husband. These worries seem
[02:06:42] so trivial to me, because I will love him through sickness and health until death through us part.
[02:06:47] I'd not use those words lightly when we got married. I will be by his side every day for the
[02:06:52] rest of our lives, whether he likes it or not. I know his natural reaction will be to push me away
[02:06:58] because of embarrassment or feelings of letting me down, but I just wish I could constantly reassure
[02:07:03] him that my love for him is unwavering. Yeah, when I saw her, I told her she should go,
[02:07:12] I said, you know, hey, you should take what we have, the house of yours, the cars of yours,
[02:07:15] sell mine, you know, whatever, and do what you need to do, and I'll financially fund whenever I can.
[02:07:20] You know, and she was like, that's not how this works. I know the hand-to-cat parking,
[02:07:26] you know what you said, so sorry. Man, you are, there's like a level of lock involved when you get married.
[02:07:37] I don't care who you are. You know, like, you could easily marry like Satan.
[02:07:43] I know you, I know plenty of guys that have made some really bad. I came and called them bad decisions,
[02:07:47] because it's just like, okay, I understand if you have this great-cording thing and all that,
[02:07:51] and you're whatever, that you can make a good decision, and that's great. But like a lot of
[02:07:56] guys in the military, you're young, and you're like, you know what, we're getting married. And there's
[02:07:59] just like a flip of the coin, and you got a saint. I mean, I literally did, I'm like 17 days in
[02:08:04] person, you know what, it would be great. We just went to Mexico and then it's how we're going to get married,
[02:08:08] and then we just got married. Yeah. Let's do that. Let's be a great story for everybody,
[02:08:12] whether it works or not. Yeah, man. You scored, first year.
[02:08:17] Sure. She got lucky to have me, too. Well, I didn't really pick that up, but um, okay, we'll go with it.
[02:08:25] Yeah, we can. Yeah, we can. Yeah, I wasn't really far close for the first time. So you need to get back
[02:08:30] to Walter Reed. I did. Yeah, I got 17th. I got back. And the first time I got to see Kelsey
[02:08:36] wasn't that home-ark moment, you know, it's like, oh my gosh, I love you so much. It was actually
[02:08:41] I was getting rushed in. I really, one of my right leg ripped open. And like Mrs. Mills,
[02:08:46] you're in charge of medical history now. You have the signs piece of paper. He has to get
[02:08:50] to inches of coffee right leg when you're, you know, consent. She's like, what? She was passes out and
[02:08:55] like Mrs. Mills, I'm like, Kelsey just sign the paper and I'm yelling, just sign the paper. It's okay.
[02:08:58] And she signs it. That's the first time I got to see it. Just real quick. Yep, go ahead and hack them up.
[02:09:03] And they went and took my leg to inches off on the right and resealed it. Next day's when I tell her,
[02:09:08] like, you know, this isn't probably anything that you signed up for. You, you can go, you know,
[02:09:12] you're no, it's no big deal. I'm not worried about it. She's like, nope, not how this works. We'll
[02:09:16] get through it together. And then they, you know, they induce me into this coma later on because the
[02:09:20] pain was so bad. And I was getting my tolerance level built up for the pain meds. And she sat with my bed
[02:09:25] like 20 hours a day and knowing I wasn't going to wake up for five days. Like we're going to put them
[02:09:29] off for five days. So yeah, so this was crazy. Read about in the book, you, you're in such horrible,
[02:09:34] horrible pain. Like undescribable pain. Is this basically an experimental thing procedure that they did on
[02:09:41] you? Yeah, I'm the second, the nation never have the ketamine coma and 30th in the world.
[02:09:46] And Sonic's studies on me. The ketamine coma is 600 milligrams of ketamine per hour.
[02:09:55] Yeah, so it goes around the clock. Mm-hmm. That's a whole thing. Well, it's based on like waiting
[02:10:00] things. So I'm sure like it's different measurements. But they, when they did it, you go in and then
[02:10:06] they just circulates through it. It's supposed to reset your brain to think where your nerve
[02:10:09] Zen is where they end and you know, you come out and it's just you hallucinate like crazy.
[02:10:15] Yeah, and nothing on TV is what was we're alive to me. Yeah, no, I'll hit some highlights from
[02:10:19] your hallucinate because when you get done out of the coma, you're going to come up for five days
[02:10:23] which is just black nothing, right? There's no nothing, nothing there. Then you go into hallucinations.
[02:10:29] You got chasing kids that stole things from Walmart. You got gangascon that you're out with
[02:10:35] gangascon. Your a squat team is coming to get you. You got you and your cousins are writing skateboards
[02:10:42] in a TV reality show. You got yourself playing hockey in the NHL. I was particularly concerned
[02:10:48] about a 50-year-old go-go dancer that crawled on a leash down the hallway of Walter Reed. That one
[02:10:52] made me a little bit nervous. Oh, this is service dog apparently. Cramer from sign-feld stops by.
[02:11:00] So you go through these massive hallucinations. That's freaking weird. Yeah, I mean, it got to
[02:11:05] point where I'd get out of my tangent and they said for the first like seven days, you know,
[02:11:10] it's going to be bad then after that, it'll start to fade out. At ten days, you should be able to tell
[02:11:14] when you're having one or not. But I remember my final come in one morning in the caps game was
[02:11:19] on the night before I was watching it. I was like, I scored nine goals with a little veg. I had
[02:11:22] a triple hat trick. He's like, oh, that's great. And then I thought that way I got blown up.
[02:11:26] And I woke up the very first day. I thought that this guy from my hometown made a
[02:11:30] drug at Torrecomment towards my mom, my wife, my daughter and my buddy's not jumping to car and
[02:11:51] we're just going to go with this. And I called enough my buddy's a message and I'm like, I'm so, I hope you're not dead.
[02:12:01] I finally came out of his nation and I realized what happened to my brother my walk back in. I was like, hey man,
[02:12:05] thanks you dick. Why didn't I tell you any different when I was like, yeah, I understand. You know, that's like,
[02:12:07] don't text when you're drunk or whatever. Don't don't call people leave messages when you're on seven
[02:12:12] day who used to do the trips. I only left two messages and they were trying to best friend. So it was cool.
[02:12:16] And both of them was I'm sorry I killed you. Did I hear me? Oh, we're done. I think I killed you. And then
[02:12:21] I got to the point where I could tell what was going on. So I like I started having another one
[02:12:27] and then I was like, oh, I had hallucination. And then finally I got to the point where I was playing with people.
[02:12:31] Like Josh was in my room and I was like, Josh, because what? I see dead people.
[02:12:35] He said, what? You see or something? I'm just kidding.
[02:12:37] I was like, okay. And that's how I look at the ceiling. He was like,
[02:12:40] all around me. He's like, where? I'm like, oh my gosh, Josh, you're wearing that. Like,
[02:12:44] jad him. And he's like, you're so dumb. So I started messing people once I got the hang of it.
[02:12:50] That's awesome. And that kind of like did it, though, right? Like, yeah. Yeah. So I did about five
[02:12:55] more months of pain pills. And then finally like an October I was home for Thanksgiving and North Carolina
[02:13:00] at my house at Fort Bragg and I was just like, you know what? Kelsey came in. I was out of
[02:13:03] wanting to more him done. She was like, you can't just quit the season. I said, no, I really am done. So
[02:13:08] it was like five days of pain. And then now no medication, nothing I'm good to go. So the kid
[02:13:13] me come one of my documentary, you know, it says, I won't do it again. But that was five months after
[02:13:18] the fact, I was still like doing pain pills and stuff. I were four months after the fact that
[02:13:22] guys could do in September. But looking back like that was the best the best thing for me to get me
[02:13:27] past the, you know, the pain part and then on to my recovery. You have a second person that ever had
[02:13:32] that done. I guess in the nation. That's crazy. I guess. Yeah. Um, other there's a great
[02:13:37] talk about your kind of transition mentally going back to the book back in normal days. I love the
[02:13:42] challenge. The quest to succeed in the army. It always been a challenge for me. My situation
[02:13:46] now is quadruple amputee held the out the same sort of dare to succeed. Sure, if I could have
[02:13:51] changed things, I wouldn't have been in the situation. But I couldn't change things. Being a quadruple
[02:13:57] amputee was my new reality. I could quit for good. I could shut myself off from the world. I could
[02:14:05] will myself to die or I could fight forward and keep on living. I could legit. Well, I mean,
[02:14:13] it came down to a choice at the end of the day. Um, I was still here in my life. I was going to say
[02:14:17] what my side, my daughter, who I think is going to think of a monster, still laughs and snuggles
[02:14:20] up with me. And, you know, I mean, when she first saw me, I thought she was going to be really
[02:14:23] fraili, but then short arm short legs, fuzzy chest, I look like a teddy bear. It was like,
[02:14:27] oh, another toy, you know, but this one can talk. Yeah. Cool. And I've never been
[02:14:33] stern with my mom. I did break my mom's nose one time, the whole different story.
[02:14:37] Karate? I know my dad, me were slapboxed in the kitchen, which meant I was 17. My dad was trying to
[02:14:41] mess with me, but if I slap back, you feel like you did you could take me? And I'm like, no,
[02:14:44] but I thought we were just playing. But he slapped at me. My mom was behind me, and I caught her
[02:14:48] back in my head. Scariest day in my life. Um, you don't make her mad. And, but anyway, so I was only
[02:14:55] stern one time. My mom, I woke up, you know, and I was supposed to get all the rest I could. And I said,
[02:14:58] where's Chloe? Yeah. She's like, oh, they are keen to visit, but you were sleeping. I said, don't
[02:15:01] ever let me sleep to that again. That's the whole reason that I'm able to still keep functioning.
[02:15:05] It's because of my daughter and, you know, being there in my life. But, you know, the mental part was
[02:15:11] the worst. And that four o'clock, just hit clock at night. I couldn't have the lights on in my, in my
[02:15:15] apartment. Something to do. I thought it was like the operating table. I'll start sweating real bad.
[02:15:19] I just, I mean, now I'm fine. But, um, the first, like, you know, five, six months, I was just like,
[02:15:24] no lights at this time. It's quiet out where. And it's like that. And man, I started watching, like, I
[02:15:29] watched a, you know, video view as you were training as you were now re-learning everything.
[02:15:32] Look, and I never really understood when people say, oh, you got to re, you know, got to
[02:15:37] re-learn the walk and you got to re-learn. And I didn't really make sense about it. But it's really
[02:15:40] clear to see when you watch your progression. What that looked like. Like how you were clearly
[02:15:47] re-learning how to walk. Like I never understood that. But when you watch the videos and the
[02:15:51] progression that you made, you can see that that's what it's, it looks like when you first
[02:15:56] stood up, I'm like, oh, yeah, it looks like he's learning how to walk and sure enough. You got
[02:16:00] better and better and it's pretty amazing. And, and two things you're going to find out when I was
[02:16:05] just going to my recovery. The first thing I learned how to walk with my daughter, which was kind
[02:16:08] of cool. They got me those short legs and I was stumbling around and she was stumbling around
[02:16:11] and holding hands. And the next thing you found out my love for Philly Chee Stakes, because I do
[02:16:16] less workouts and stuff like that. The gym, you know, as you go, but I went from 250 to 140.
[02:16:21] And I was real skinny. And then I'll have son, I start getting fatter in fatter in fatter because
[02:16:25] of Lyrka and the medication. And I was like, oh, I love Philly Chee Stakes. So I'm trying to work on
[02:16:29] that now. But my progression is like, I got better. I got fatter too. And you got to visit
[02:16:35] from a guy named Todd Nicely. And that must have helped out a lot. My competitive edge did. He walked
[02:16:42] in on his fake legs and two fake arms and he first thing I had his mouth was, hey man, welcome
[02:16:46] to the club. I was like, I don't mean your club. So kind of late now, don't you think? And I
[02:16:50] looked at myself and I was like, oh, you got me there. And as you walked over, I said, you want
[02:16:54] a ginger ale. And he heard me wrong. And he went over to the counter or the sink. And underneath the
[02:17:00] sink was a 12 pack of ginger ale. I got hooked on it like crack at the hospital. I got off it now.
[02:17:06] But either way, he bends down on one knee, bends down on his other knee, reaches on with his fake
[02:17:11] hand, gets it out pops at the top of the other arm and walks over and hands and goes, here you go.
[02:17:15] I'm like, oh, no, I was asking if you wanted one. But before I got the full sentence out,
[02:17:18] I said, how'd you do that? He said, hey man, I'm Todd. And on the second ever, welcome to the club,
[02:17:23] here's the fourth quadruple habitat to make it back home. You're going to be fine. Other Missouri,
[02:17:28] with my wife, I drive, I have a boat, I do whatever I want, I walk, it just takes time. And he's like,
[02:17:34] I'll even work out with you tomorrow. You know, this is like, I'm still thinking I'm in hallucination mode.
[02:17:39] This is like maybe eight, nine days after my, my, uh, ketamine coma. And he's like, I work out with
[02:17:45] you tomorrow. So the doctors come in and I'm like, hey, I got to work out today. I'm like, you can't
[02:17:48] work out. You know, I was like, no, no, seriously, I've been, I'm going to work out with Todd nicely. He said,
[02:17:53] I can work out at one o'clock and I like, well, you're not ready. And I had to let him know, I was like,
[02:17:56] I don't know what you don't get, buddy. I'm working out today. And he said, I'll think about it. So I call him every
[02:18:01] half hour, four hour straight to the find said I could. And I went in the met Todd and Todd did a workout.
[02:18:06] And I laid on my stomach with the pelvis pad on her, my under my stomach or whatever. So the stretch
[02:18:10] my pelvis muscle back out. And he'd been back in a fell asleep 20 minutes. Best work out I've ever done.
[02:18:15] But I started my recovery that day. And as far as the physical is easy, I like the physical challenge.
[02:18:23] The mental was a hardest part for me. I mean, bar none. It was, it was the worst. You know,
[02:18:27] I couldn't look myself in the mirror for a while there. Because I didn't like what I saw.
[02:18:30] You know, seeing my arms gone, the scars just overall messed that that I was. And I was going to be
[02:18:38] burdening all that. So it just, that's just how it went. So the more capable you got, the more comfortable
[02:18:44] you got in your new skin. Yeah. Well, I found out that they let you go for one hour. And then
[02:18:50] a physical therapy and a one hour of occupational therapy. And then let me do another one and another one
[02:18:54] to turn into four hours of each. So eight hours. That's when eight hours a day at the gym in my recovery.
[02:19:00] Well, at the gym and occupational therapy, learn how to use my hands, how to wash myself again,
[02:19:04] how to dress myself again, learn how to drive, learn how to do all that stuff. But it took 19
[02:19:10] months of at Walter Reed 13 months and paperwork was after that to get out. But doubles in.
[02:19:20] And you, you, you, you eventually went and met your guys when they came home. No, that's
[02:19:29] I did an awesome idea. I said some goals. When I was in the hospital, my birthday I called my
[02:19:34] life for my mom and dad and I was basically really short. Hey guys, what's up and fun and love
[02:19:38] you by? That's all I wanted to say. I didn't want to talk to have a conversation and go over what
[02:19:41] happened to me. I kept it very short. But I told my brother and I said, I have to call my guys in my
[02:19:47] unit. You need to find the number to my strong point and let me talk to him. So there's a picture
[02:19:52] going around where I had a baseball cap or an ozone on patrol and I have sleeves rolled up and
[02:19:58] helmet off sunglasses. I mean, everything out of standard as they, you know, they have standards or whatever.
[02:20:03] And I got to hold my sergeant major and I said sergeant major, I'm so sorry. I understand if you
[02:20:06] got to take my rank. I shouldn't have been out of uniform. I do apologize and now the pictures
[02:20:10] were on public and he's like, you're crazy dude. Just get better. You're fine. And then I got to
[02:20:14] hold my my guys and I told them guys I'm fine. I'll be okay. And I'll be there when you get back
[02:20:19] from Afghanistan. I'll be there at the, you know, the ramp to give you guys a hug on my tall legs.
[02:20:24] And it took me a while. I got my tall legs that morning when they got back. I had to work out
[02:20:28] three hours and then the tall legs don't bend but like that wasn't wearing out but they make me
[02:20:33] at least six foot tall at well. You can't take those legs home unless you can stand up when you fall
[02:20:37] down. So the whole day the therapist walks up and says trust fall, they knock you down. You know,
[02:20:41] what the hell? Like that's not a trust fall. Just push the catch me. That's supposed to close my eyes
[02:20:45] and trust you're going to catch me. You're like, that's the catch. You got to give yourself back up.
[02:20:48] The therapist's are great. No, I had, I had two of the best therapists that you could ask for.
[02:20:53] No, I'm carryin' Joe and I got me, you know, back to where I was at. But I did meet my guys
[02:20:57] and the first, the first time I got to hug was Doc Bateson. You know, it's a hey man. Thanks for
[02:21:01] all you did. And then you end up doing a 5k. 5k run. So, I mean, that was another goal.
[02:21:08] Yeah, so Todd Niceer came in when he met me. He had four firefighters also for telling the
[02:21:13] towers 5k they do in New York City and they also, they partnered with Gary Snees and they built
[02:21:17] houses and things like that for guys that have been through traumatic injuries and they were like,
[02:21:21] hey, we're gonna have a 5k and September, we'll push you and I'll walk it and they're like,
[02:21:25] well, yeah, but like, we'll push you as no big deal. I was like, no, you know what I'm saying?
[02:21:28] Like, I'm just gonna walk it. And like, well, you don't have legs yet, but if you do walk it, that's cool.
[02:21:32] So, I went out to New York City after my daughter's birthday the day after and walked the 5k.
[02:21:38] I came out of the Brooklyn Battle of Tunnel thinking, okay, I'm gonna sit down now. Like, I'm
[02:21:41] tired, I'm a back hurts, I got a mile, you know, 1.2 miles or something to go. By right leg
[02:21:46] I completely rubbed raw, I was bleeding inside my socket and I was like, it's good. I've met a goal.
[02:21:51] I've walked over to, you know, two miles now. And I came out of the tunnel, there was 343 firefighters
[02:21:58] with banners around their neck for 9-11 at the G's, okay. Well, if those guys didn't go out,
[02:22:01] they were going to go down the flight stairs and then ultimately die, you know, trying to save
[02:22:05] life, so I could finish this. So I did. I was soar, it was bad, but I didn't finish it.
[02:22:10] And then, eventually, you're like you said, you're driving now. You went out and did like
[02:22:17] mountain biking and skiing and all this other kind of just getting after it basically for
[02:22:24] better, for lack of a better term. And then you retire, you retire from the, from the army.
[02:22:31] And what's your next move? Your next move is you figure out, you're gonna get a house and you're
[02:22:35] gonna move to. I had to move to Maine. My wife is from Maine, originally. The heat doesn't do well with
[02:22:41] amputees because your blood circulates faster. He comes back warmer. When you're really
[02:22:45] seat from your body, it's head hands of feet, so I'm missing, you know, four or the five and then
[02:22:49] my legs are capped off. So if I wear pants or if I wear shorts, it's the same. There's no
[02:22:53] air hitting the third of my body. And yeah, so we decided we're gonna move to Maine. We didn't start
[02:22:59] an on-profit to help with care packages at first, and then we grew it to the retreat center that we
[02:23:05] have here in Maine. And really through my work at Walter Reed, when I was at Walter Reed, I was such
[02:23:11] up the person. I was the same person as before the blast. I was still going in and have Keshia
[02:23:14] Fridays because I made people annoyed, but other people loved it. I haven't walked Friday. Keshia
[02:23:20] Fridays. I'd go put my take my phone and turn on Keshia on Pandora and we'd just rock out.
[02:23:26] And the reason I unfortunately saw videos of you dancing,
[02:23:30] cannot be unseen apparently. Burning to your right now, you're welcome. But, you know, they
[02:23:36] started asking me if I'd meet people upstairs and it started out, hey, you know, Travis, we have a guy
[02:23:40] upstairs. I can't tell his name or his room number, but if you could talk to him, really help,
[02:23:43] he's not in 41 and he's not in 43. But if you could find him, you know, and I'm not in
[02:23:48] Marine. So, you know, obviously I'm smart enough to find that there's number 42. I don't eat crayons.
[02:23:54] But anyway, so I would go up and talk to him and then that turned into like, hey, we have PFC
[02:23:58] Johnson. He's missing two legs. His mom is mother-in-law. His two kids are here. Can you go see him?
[02:24:03] I told him you'd be up around this time. And that's how the book got started. My documentary
[02:24:08] got started and then the foundation, which is because all the nonprofits that Walter Reed
[02:24:11] doing great things, Kelsey and I wanted to give back. Some way, she had performed and this is how
[02:24:15] we've decided, you know, that we can get back the best. So, I'm what tell, tell us more about the
[02:24:23] foundation there. So the Travis Mose Foundation was started, really just for care packages overseas.
[02:24:28] And then I went out to Colorado, and I go downhill mountain biking and doing things. And then I
[02:24:32] realized that Walter Reed does a great job of taking the service member out there. The only thing that
[02:24:37] the government doesn't lack, but because of the funds have to go to the soldiers, they don't
[02:24:42] get to bring all the families. My wife got to go because I needed assistance. And things,
[02:24:46] but a lot of the guys that could take care of themselves couldn't bring their loved ones. And that's fine.
[02:24:50] That's okay. But we thought we could do something in that space. My whole reason for getting better
[02:24:56] was my wife and my daughter easily. So we started bringing families out. We did it for one week
[02:25:01] of a year. And we brought families out and show them how to do things adaptively. Kaya can canoe and
[02:25:05] things. Then we did another one and it went so well with what we should buy properties. We bought a
[02:25:10] property. It's supposed to be a $500,000 project. Now's the $3 million project. We did our first
[02:25:15] week of program. I mean, first year of programs this year. We did seven weeks, 56 families. And
[02:25:20] we bring them up. We host eight families per week up to 40 people and we show them how to do things.
[02:25:24] We have a place on the water for kayaking and canoeing and tubing and boating. And we just
[02:25:29] do horseback riding and archery and all these activities. We have ropes course. And we just say,
[02:25:34] you know what, I understand what you're going through. I understand it can get tough. Here's a
[02:25:37] network of people that are just like you. Whether you live in Chicago and in inner city or you live
[02:25:42] in the plains of Montana, reach out. Understand that these families are going through the same thing.
[02:25:47] Feel comfortable when you come here. That you can fall out of a kayak and nobody's going to
[02:25:51] freak out. They're going to understand what you're going through. And it's just as much of a place for
[02:25:56] the loved ones. You know, the wives that can talk to other wives or spouses and the kids can run
[02:26:02] around see that you know what my dad has one leg missing and one arm. But this dad has two legs missing.
[02:26:07] And that's pretty cool because they know what we're going through. And after our first year of
[02:26:11] operations and running, it was such a great success. We're going to do strategic partnership with
[02:26:14] other nonprofits that share our mission and they'll donate what it costs for a week and they'll
[02:26:19] run their own retreats up here as well. So we're talking up with Goal Some of our families
[02:26:24] as well as PTSD and TBI because right now I focus on limb loss or paralysation. But this hopefully
[02:26:30] will run 40 or 45 weeks out of the year. It's all donation based and the cool thing is like as the
[02:26:36] president and the six other board members I do have, we don't take a dime. We never will. We're
[02:26:40] auditing ourselves right now. So we can go on the CFC, the combined federal campaign and tell a lot
[02:26:45] given back. So it's been really rewarding and fulfilling and I'm glad to be out there helping these
[02:26:51] families cope with their situation and telling that there's other people out there like you
[02:26:55] keep going, never live life on the sidelines and it most importantly never give up and never quit.
[02:27:00] If people want to help this organization, what's the best way for them to do that?
[02:27:04] Visit the website Travis Mills.org. It has all the information on the foundation. It has
[02:27:09] ways to donate online. There's ways to do volunteer options. We had people fly in just a volunteer
[02:27:14] for the week and help us out. And there's also ways to do corporate sponsorships. We had
[02:27:19] wayfair come in, donate all the furniture, new balance came in, donated to us and things like that.
[02:27:24] So we're growing. We believe in our mission. We know we can do this and there's other things we
[02:27:29] want to get accomplished out here. We need to build a multi-purpose center. We have a pool going in
[02:27:34] and things like that. But it's all about giving back and the mindset of the service member that
[02:27:39] we're trying to host and the family. The book, Tophas, they come. That's what we read today.
[02:27:47] It's a great book. I read a small chunks of it. Yeah, you can pick that up anywhere, where they sell
[02:27:55] books. And what about the documentary? So the documentary, it's called Travis, the Soldier Story.
[02:28:00] It was done in 2014. And it was actually unveiled the GI film festival. And we took first place
[02:28:07] in 55 short films. I got to meet Marcus and Melanie LaTrell at night. It was really,
[02:28:11] really great to meet them. And now Netflix is sign-to-son for a two-year run. So we got on Netflix
[02:28:16] and May. So if we want to watch that, it's on Netflix. It's called Travis, Soldier Story.
[02:28:21] And it just tells a whole story. It just has iPhone footage of everything that Kelsey and I went through.
[02:28:26] Yes. And the two-medic says, cool. The two-medic say my life. I actually are reenacting. You
[02:28:30] getting blown up. And the two guys got hurt. Are in the documentary as well. And my brother-in-law,
[02:28:34] so I'll tell people that were there in the documentary. No, between the book and watching the documentary,
[02:28:38] you get to see the faces and everything. It's really cool. It's really powerful. And
[02:28:45] what about social media? How's your social media presence? It's not yours.
[02:28:50] So, by any means, we're about 60,000 in some strong on our Facebook page. I do little videos.
[02:28:58] My daughter learned how to tie her shoes the other day. We taught her in the morning. And you know,
[02:29:01] by like we taught her like seven to my nine o'clock, she's tying it by herself. Give it an intro.
[02:29:05] To tying your shoes online. But just SSG, Travis Mills is my page. If you want to check it out,
[02:29:10] share my story that really helps. And it's Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. You're on all three.
[02:29:15] SSG, Travis Mills. That's where you can find it. Yeah. You know, you put the last thing in the book,
[02:29:26] like the last line in the book. You said, 11 freedom to go forward, to love your family,
[02:29:32] to make something out of your life, to never ever give up, to never quit. That success.
[02:29:39] And obviously, in my opinion, if never giving up and never quitting is the definition of success,
[02:29:50] then I think you're the most successful person I've ever met my life brother.
[02:29:54] For real. Well, I appreciate that. I just, we realize that people that depend on you,
[02:29:59] the people that went into all this and the lives that are lost. I mean, you've had a lot of bodies.
[02:30:03] I'm sure they did make it back home. My situation is not life-ending. My situation is just
[02:30:09] I got a couple more steps in the morning for my legs on, come on, take my daughter, tomorrow's
[02:30:14] actually my daughter's orientation at school. I get to take her. My wife and I just had a baby.
[02:30:18] And I named her, I named her a little boy after my two medics. His name's Dex,
[02:30:22] D.A.X. After Daniel N. Alexander for the medics at St. My Life. So,
[02:30:26] thankful to still be here, through all this smoking and dirt in the dust. It's all settled now.
[02:30:31] And I'm living life to the fullest and doing the best I can to make sure that people understand
[02:30:34] life goes on and to never, ever give up and never quit. Anything else? Any closing thoughts?
[02:30:42] I mean, I just obviously want to thank everybody when to this. I mean, from my unit on the ground,
[02:30:46] I know I was a heavy guy. Walk around, wait 400 pounds. I'd get, you know, with all my gear on.
[02:30:50] And all that to get me out there was great. The medical staff, doctors, nurses,
[02:30:55] physical therapists, occupational therapists, everybody. I obviously my family went into it. I want to say
[02:30:59] thanks for being there on my side. My beautiful life and my wonderful children for, you know, really
[02:31:05] accepting what happened and moving forward in life. And just, you know, there by no, you know,
[02:31:09] you can't always affect your situation, find yourself in, but you always can affect your attitude.
[02:31:13] And that's, that's where I find the most, uh, I guess the most realization in my situation. I can't
[02:31:18] always affect, if I drop something on my hand, you know, I can't pick it up right away or I have to
[02:31:22] do something weird and get mad about it because getting mad doesn't, I'm getting mad doesn't do anything.
[02:31:27] So I always try to keep my attitude positive and keep pushing forward. But thanks for having me.
[02:31:32] Also, I want to thank you for having me on here. Both of you, I didn't look at you very much.
[02:31:35] I'm sorry. I know we talked about this earlier, but he said not you said not to you.
[02:31:39] Yeah, yeah, I'm trying not to. That's it. That's your discretion for sure.
[02:31:44] I gotta redo this and it's like I look at you more. Okay, but perfect. Perfect. Yeah, man.
[02:31:49] Thanks for coming on. Of course, thank you for your service to this great nation.
[02:31:56] Not only is a soldier and a leader on the battlefield, but for your continued service that you're
[02:32:02] doing today for veterans and also for the gift that I think you give everybody that
[02:32:11] here's about you or comes in contact with you in any way. And that is just a living example
[02:32:20] of grit and of determination and of will. And I just think you're the absolute model of
[02:32:32] what it means and what people can accomplish. If we do as you say and that is to go forward,
[02:32:42] never give up, never, ever quit. Thanks for coming on, brother. Thanks for having me. And after a
[02:32:54] little administrative break, Travis has left the building pretty damn awesome to have him on man.
[02:33:07] Yeah. Yeah. Any and every excuse that a person might have is human being.
[02:33:17] Just got destroyed. Yeah. Yeah, and he really kind of illustrated how hard it got spread the
[02:33:29] time when he was like when he said, oh, I quit in the hospital. Yeah. And it's kind of like,
[02:33:34] it makes just kind of when you're around them now and you see just how he is. It kind of really
[02:33:40] brings to light how good he is now. Yeah. And he couldn't at that moment in time.
[02:33:52] And when people get into that darkness, they don't see. They can't, they can't see the future.
[02:33:58] They can't see that things are going to get better. They can't see. You know, for him at that point in
[02:34:01] time, there's no way it was going to get good. Yeah. You know, so yeah, that's very true. Very true.
[02:34:08] Yeah, another interesting thing is that when you see again where he's like concerned about his
[02:34:14] man. And even when he said I quit, he was concerned about like his wife. Yeah. And like that was the
[02:34:19] significant element. Just totally selfless person. Awesome. Well,
[02:34:28] speaking of
[02:34:38] being awesome. Yeah. Echo Charles. We're awesome. We think we can talk about some
[02:34:45] awesome American made stuff. That's a good idea. I like where you call it this. Origin.
[02:34:50] Origin. Origin. But yeah, Origin. That's the brand. So what is Origin? We're in league with origin.
[02:34:59] I like the expression in league with, by the way. I might have told you that before. Yeah. It's a good
[02:35:05] way of putting it. Yeah. So this is straight up the best American made apparel in the world.
[02:35:13] You can, you don't have to say the best American made apparel. You can say it's the best
[02:35:17] apparel in the world. And it's American made. Yeah. Is that subjective? I guess it's kind of
[02:35:24] subjective. But if you say it's the best American made. Well, I guess it all technically might be.
[02:35:30] I don't know either way. It's dope. Yeah. And it's all made in America. But here's the thing about
[02:35:35] made in America. I guess I don't know. I could be wrong about this part. But technically you could be like,
[02:35:41] yeah, they, they sold these, I don't know, pants or whatever, you know, in America.
[02:35:46] Like, hey, where'd you get the material? Oh, well, you know, we got it from somewhere else,
[02:35:51] not in America. Which I guess is cool. Technically it was made. It was crafted of, but not here.
[02:35:58] So you figure what? Like, let's say you're cotton pants. Right? You get the
[02:36:05] material from America. But how do you make the material? The actual cotton, where does cotton come from?
[02:36:12] You grow it. I used to have a cotton like trees like a bunch of them. By the way, I'm quite none the less.
[02:36:20] So where do they get? Where does origin get that cotton? America.
[02:36:26] What about the seeds to plant the cotton? They're from America. For sure. So straight up from the ground.
[02:36:32] See from the earth from the seeds to the pants that you get in the event of you getting pants.
[02:36:40] Yeah, the way. There's other stuff. There's geese. And now, it's a good one. The geese. If you're into
[02:36:46] jujitsu, nonetheless, the pants that I got, the joggers, he was asking me, how do you like those?
[02:36:52] And, you know, the new joggers, they're kind of like, they have a different shape than the old school
[02:36:56] sweatpants. So I was like, okay, you know, and I looked into those. I was telling Pete this story. Where
[02:37:02] I ordered some ironically from overseas. I ordered them from overseas. They looked pretty good.
[02:37:10] So I ordered them. Didn't come in, by the way. This was about a year and a half ago. Still didn't come in.
[02:37:14] By the way, but I looked into it. I was like, whatever. But it's probably not for me.
[02:37:18] So I let it, you know, it's a sign. One of those deals either way. I get Pete's one. So I'm like,
[02:37:23] all right, cool. I'm going to try these. I put them on. Surprisingly, legitimate. As far as the look goes
[02:37:30] cool, it's me. Pete even said that I'm like, I look good in them, which is a lot because I just kind of met
[02:37:35] Pete in person over the past week. Anyway, good stuff. Just saying it's good stuff. And again,
[02:37:42] all made in America, all of it. Some keys on there, some cool rash guards. The George Washington rash
[02:37:49] guard, that I feel like we're ready for that one to come back. So yeah. So Pete should, yeah,
[02:37:54] you'd have that one. Yeah. Then the last origin, main.com. I want to say main. It's the state
[02:38:02] main. So origin, M.A. I. Any dot com. That's a good one. The best one. Really, when it comes down
[02:38:07] to it, also, jocco has some supplements. Crill oil, which we need. Enjoy more fair. So really,
[02:38:20] this is like a full on like joint because Crill oil, Omega 3s for your joint. So yeah,
[02:38:26] then join warfare is like, because there's a bunch of things. Regardless of what you think,
[02:38:30] yeah, Crill oil joins boom good. There's more to it than that. Just like what, like glucose,
[02:38:35] I mean, could it was all like, basically all the stuff that you have been taking four years.
[02:38:40] Yes. You said, you know what, let me come on with my own jocco formula. Yeah, we have it now.
[02:38:44] Boom, have it now two products right? Super Crill joint warfare. Yeah, that's the one. That's the
[02:38:51] kit. That's the new kit. Mm-hmm. As far as kits go. Also, those are also an origin main.com, by the way.
[02:38:59] Yeah. Yeah, origin main.com. Also on it. So, you know, we've been we're on a trip right now.
[02:39:09] In the event of people not knowing that we're on a trip to Maine, I didn't bring the kettle
[02:39:13] wells. I thought that that might have been too much plus, you know, to check on Kelly,
[02:39:18] they give you 50 pounds, right in your luggage. My kettlebell is one. You had about more than 50 pounds.
[02:39:22] None the less. 88 pounds. Yeah, in your case, minus 62 in the world. Times two, 124. Boom,
[02:39:32] math on point. There was a guy at the camp that we went to that brought the kettlebells. The
[02:39:38] 70, whatever, what in the grill on one from on it, the cool one. I didn't, I didn't work out with them.
[02:39:45] I was gonna. I wanted to. I intended to. Anyway, those grill out and where we'll
[02:39:54] kettlebells that I'm talking about, these are the cool kettlebells. They're from on it. Those are.
[02:40:01] All kettlebells are good. Really. But if you want that level up of coolness,
[02:40:05] yeah, I get those on it.com slash jockel. Get it. Jump ropes on there. The bunch of cool
[02:40:11] fitness stuff. If you're lagging in your workout, which I do sometimes. I lagging my workout.
[02:40:16] Not lagging like physically, but um, interest wise. You know, you get kind of bored.
[02:40:22] Not you, you don't get bored. No. You just like, well, it doesn't matter. Right.
[02:40:26] It doesn't even register bored or not. Yeah, execution is happening. So no, what is the
[02:40:30] well, yeah. Well, some of us who get kind of bored and it's not that we're getting bored, so we're not
[02:40:34] gonna do it. We're looking for something like, oh, yeah, let me try this new thing.
[02:40:40] Some new hotness in regards to workouts. Can you just not say new hotness anymore?
[02:40:45] High spot kind of spreads. I heard Will Smith say it. You know, one of the, one of the,
[02:40:48] one of the, that was cool. It doesn't like certify it for the podcast. I know, but I figured I'd try it
[02:40:53] out though. Just no. It's, it's been, it's been tried. It's been, no. Next, rejected. Oh, yeah.
[02:40:57] All right. If you want some new cool stuff to do, interview our tour workout. Hey, Ben, look,
[02:41:03] on it has all these one. They have battle ropes and maces and cool stuff. And they have cool
[02:41:07] videos on there. By the way, don't get addicted to the website. Spin appropriate amounts of time on
[02:41:13] the website, not too much. Remember how you're talking about like, you know, when you watch a video
[02:41:17] on YouTube and another one pops up. Yeah. No, six of them pop up. Yeah, all formulated for you.
[02:41:23] I know, especially picked. What's up for that? We're YouTube, munchkins that are like,
[02:41:27] saying, I know what to call likes. Yeah. That's actually one of the street fights. That's
[02:41:32] two. It's a cycle. Anyway, just watch out for that on the website on the, on the, on the, on
[02:41:38] it website because the videos are real interesting. But they're about work out to the, a lot of them.
[02:41:43] So it's kind of, it's kind of a catch 22. Watch a video about working out. There's not replaced
[02:41:47] working out though. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. You gotta get after it for sure. But a lot of
[02:41:51] options on there. Anyway, on it.com slash jockel. That's the one right there. Also,
[02:41:57] you know what, in this camp? So some guys came to the camp. They brought this 200 pound
[02:42:06] bag of, he said it was sandbag, but it's like gravel essentially. And the challenge is
[02:42:15] to pick it up over your shoulder, 200 pounds. So even that really, I mean,
[02:42:20] that's not that easy 200, but the way, when they're explaining it to me, it was Mike
[02:42:29] Gerard Brian Victor. They were explained to me. Well, while they're explaining it to me,
[02:42:36] I'm thinking, okay, I know what a 150 pound dumbbell feels like when you lift it up.
[02:42:44] And I'm thinking, could I get that? And that has a handle and balance, by the way. Something like
[02:42:48] shoot could do I that I meant? I don't know if I could do that. Could I do that? And then they're like,
[02:42:54] oh yeah, you know, like, I've done it. And I'm okay. So it can be done. Like, it's obviously not like
[02:42:59] this thing. You need years of practice, whatever. So I was like, but man, I don't know. And then
[02:43:05] sure enough. So yeah, when I went and did it, it was like, it was hard. I failed the first one.
[02:43:09] I probably you bring it up. You kind of bring it onto your lap. It's 200 pounds, man. That's not like,
[02:43:14] it's like, you know how you say when you when you pick up a person and they're just dead weight,
[02:43:21] similar to that. Anyway, boom, failed the first time. They're cheering me on. Thanks for that,
[02:43:26] by the way, guys, that helped me. And then the second time I did it, it was, it was good.
[02:43:31] One of the high points. Anyway, that was just a side note. Also. Just to, so bump on to people
[02:43:36] don't have to ask me, yeah, I did not participate in the challenge. I have an injured rib. That was
[02:43:41] that. Yeah, you were real happy about that. You're still not happy to see it on your face, man. Yeah.
[02:43:47] Yeah. So the ribs almost healed. Thanks, Andy. That was Andy. Andy did that to my ribs.
[02:43:54] In a way. And this is, I think you paid a bigger price than me, but you messed up my rib in
[02:44:00] identical way a few months ago. Oh, you were going to get a submission on me. And then
[02:44:05] you hurt yourself? No, I was trying to. I was escaping the submission. Well, essentially the same
[02:44:11] situation, but instead this time you got the rib injury instead of the guy you're trying to
[02:44:16] tap out. So yeah, so in a way, good for you, you know, and I hope you weave all learning something
[02:44:21] from this whole thing today. Anyway, also, when you buy this book and you will and should
[02:44:30] tough as they come. Tough is they come. Travis Mills. Get it through our website. That's a good
[02:44:38] way to support. I have a little section. We have a little section books from the podcast. Click on
[02:44:45] there. It'll be by episode. This is, you know, this is a good way to support. Click through
[02:44:50] there. It's bringing to Amazon even if you're going to do any other shopping. Boom, even
[02:44:54] just as good away to support that way. Just click through. Get the book. That's a good way.
[02:45:00] Swatch in big reaction. Small click. Click. One, two. It's like two more clicks.
[02:45:06] Super Swatch. Somebody asked me. They said, hey, does it really help the podcast to like do the Amazon
[02:45:11] click through? And I said, absolutely. It really does. And they said, well, like how much and I said,
[02:45:15] well, it's basically the way I go to describe it. It's basically the way I go to describe it.
[02:45:21] Small action, big reaction. So yep. You actually very right on that one. Yes.
[02:45:25] Yep. You know, I just had a feeling from the beginning that that was that's a good way to put it.
[02:45:31] And it is really also. Subscribe to the podcast. It's a good way to support.
[02:45:38] Stitcher iTunes. Google play all these ones that provide podcasts. This seems, you know,
[02:45:46] seems like something that everyone probably has done already. But, you know, if you haven't subscribed
[02:45:51] to that, that's a good one. If you're in the mood, leave a review. That's a good one.
[02:45:56] Some good reviews on there already. And thank you guys for doing that. Very colorful.
[02:46:00] Would you say colorful? Is that a good, is that a good, is colorful creative, creative, creative?
[02:46:05] Yeah. It's good. They're fun to read from time to time. Also, YouTube, if you like the video or
[02:46:11] want to watch the video version of this podcast, see what Travis looks like, see what Jockel looks like,
[02:46:17] see what I look like if you're into that. Yeah. Subscribe to the YouTube, get a little alert
[02:46:24] when we upload a video. Yeah. But beyond just watching what we look like, there's other things
[02:46:28] that come from the YouTube channel. Yeah. That are not on the podcast. All right. Yeah.
[02:46:33] I'm subscribed. Yes. Right. So they're a little augmented videos that you make with your creative
[02:46:40] spin on them. Yeah. There's just straight excerpts. Right. And then there's a deleted scenes.
[02:46:46] Yeah. Deleted scenes. I think I'm put some more on there. There's a few. You know what? When you kind of
[02:46:51] go through and I want, you know, when I edit it, right? So really the edit the audio editing process
[02:46:57] pretty simple. You cut off the beginning. You cut off the end. You faded and you faded out.
[02:47:02] Done. That's it. Easy. Yeah. But the parts that I cut off, there's some, some nuggets and
[02:47:10] interesting stuff. And you know, when you're in the in the moment, I'm talking to you. It's just
[02:47:14] regular, we're just talking and whatever. Maybe we're laughing maybe not. But when you kind of go back
[02:47:18] and listen to it, it's kind of funny. Anyway, I'll put some of those on there too. So yeah, if you
[02:47:23] subscribe to the YouTube channel, you can watch those. Those are cool. The excerpts are just kind of like,
[02:47:28] you know, shareable, smaller, you know, nuggets of juggle wisdom. Which is cool. I mean, you know,
[02:47:34] if you don't want to listen to the whole podcast, just for the thing. In fact, there's a couple of
[02:47:38] people who were there like, yeah, I listened to those. They, the guy had to camp. He was like, yeah,
[02:47:42] I listened to those excerpts. I almost every day. Yeah. Because they're like, yeah, there's a lot of
[02:47:46] them there now, too. By the way, also juggle as a store. It's called juggle store. Juggle store.com. There's
[02:47:55] some shirts on there. If you want to support. So I'm not saying by sure. I'm not saying by a hat,
[02:48:02] got hats on there now. Snap back snap back. My bad. I thought they were. Heck, like,
[02:48:07] those were, you know, I go thought it was FlexFit. Trucker hats. They're an exist. Yeah, they don't.
[02:48:12] Doesn't have those in the world. Doesn't need them. Yeah. It almost doesn't make sense. Yeah.
[02:48:16] Oh, maybe. I don't know. I've for real thought they're FlexFit. But you know what? I looked into it.
[02:48:21] And I realized that the reason that I thought they're FlexFit is because some new hats,
[02:48:27] some coming out with. Oh, maybe in a few weeks, they're like, they're a different style of hat
[02:48:33] and their FlexFit. They look dope, too, by the way. I'll show them to you one day. Cool. So yeah,
[02:48:39] I'm not saying, hey, I'm not saying, hey, by a shirt, by a rashguard or whatever, I'm saying,
[02:48:43] go on the store. Juggle store. Look on there. Check out the items. If you like something,
[02:48:52] get something. Somewhere, these on there, some women's dust on patches, which are cool. I've seen a
[02:48:58] few of those. When people's backpack's actually look kind of dope, I'm going to probably put
[02:49:02] one on my backpack. And you know, I'm just letting us all know. I'm about to, you know,
[02:49:07] sometimes you just think, think about loud. Definitely. I'm curious about that.
[02:49:11] Well, I'll be looking forward to you. Yeah. Yeah. I'll show it to you. And it's done. Anyway,
[02:49:17] Juggle store.com. That's a good way. Also psychological warfare. Who are we just talking to that
[02:49:22] OP? Yeah. Where? Okay. Basically, psychological warfare. What is that? It is in album with tracks,
[02:49:32] Juggle tracks, where in your campaign against weakness, meaning if you have goals. Like,
[02:49:39] okay, so I'll listen to Jordan Peterson. And he kind of, he has this thing. I'm not going to go
[02:49:47] it like too much into it. But he has this thing where he's like, okay, why don't why don't people
[02:49:50] get what they want? And so because in one of the reasons is because they just don't know what that is.
[02:49:55] And we kind of don't. Even if you say, I want to get better, better in what?
[02:49:58] Judging sir. Because you can do one push-up a day and you're technically better.
[02:50:03] Technically. So it's like, what do you mean better? Better how, whatever, so anyway,
[02:50:08] back to the psychological. If you want to, I don't know, lose weight. You know, wake up earlier and
[02:50:12] be more disciplined in these specific ways and all this stuff. You want to clean up your diet.
[02:50:17] To clean up your diet, you've got to avoid junk food, all this stuff. junk food, you need to
[02:50:20] get distracted by short-term payoffs, right? With junk food. Because junk, the whole idea of
[02:50:26] junk food is short-term payoffs over long-term payoffs. Good diet, long-term payoffs. Bad diet,
[02:50:32] short-term payoffs. Anyway, if you get tempted by weakness, you listen to the psychological
[02:50:39] warfare album or just a track of whatever. So look, you're waking up early in the morning,
[02:50:44] the 430 every day. That's what I'm doing from now on. That one day when you're kind of tired.
[02:50:50] And the alarm goes off and you're tempted or compelled to press the snooze or just stay in bed.
[02:50:57] I'll wake up later. Oh wake up at noon. Just saying something. Wake up at noon sometimes.
[02:51:04] Play this track called get up and get after it. I guarantee you won't wake up at noon. You'll
[02:51:09] wake up at the assigned time. Assign by yourself by the way. 100% success rate on that. If you fail,
[02:51:18] if you listen to this and you fail at your little thing, yeah, I don't know. I don't know what to say.
[02:51:23] But that's a good one. Psychological warfare. Joccal will link. Look for it. Look into it.
[02:51:28] Also, you get some joccal white tea. You can get that on Amazon. It'll make you be able to
[02:51:32] do amazing feet to strengthen with no effort barely at all. Yeah, like the rock bag. Yeah,
[02:51:39] the yellow jocquite tea boom. You nailed it. Easy money. One hand.
[02:51:44] Books like echo said tough as they come by Travis Mills. You can get that. You can also
[02:51:50] get a book called Extreme Ownership that I wrote with my brother, Dave Babin. It's about combat leadership.
[02:51:55] Way of the warrior kid. If you want your kid or a kid that you know to be stronger, smarter,
[02:52:00] healthier and therefore, because they're stronger, smarter and healthier, they're also more confident.
[02:52:09] If you want to do that for a kid, get them book called Way of the Warrior Kid.
[02:52:15] Then you can also get the discipline equals freedom field manual. It got a little bump the other
[02:52:25] day. I don't know. I think like in social media, I put something out and got a little bump
[02:52:28] and all of a sudden the delivery dates of people that just ordered it got pushed back. So I don't
[02:52:34] know, I don't know specifically like what that means, but I tell you this, it means you just order it
[02:52:40] now. If you want to get it when it comes out order it, if you want that first edition copy,
[02:52:45] which is pretty much what you want. If you need leadership in your world, which you probably do,
[02:52:51] because that's the way things get done is through leadership and you need help in that department.
[02:52:58] You can contact our leadership consulting company, echelon front. It's me. It's LaFab and
[02:53:04] JP to know Dave Burke. You can email us at info at echelonfront.com if you want us to come speak
[02:53:12] or work with your company. That's what you do. And finally, and this is the master.
[02:53:19] We are close to selling it out right now. The one that's in San Diego September 14th and 15th,
[02:53:25] leadership tactics, techniques and procedures for business and life get better at everything,
[02:53:33] get registered. Do it now before it sells out. It might even be sold out by the time this podcast
[02:53:38] comes out. But check it out. See if you can find it. See if you can get there.
[02:53:42] ExtremeLaryship.com and until the master, if you do need to communicate with us, we're actually cruising
[02:53:49] on the interwebs Twitter, Instagram and also defaceable people. Echoes at echeloncharrals and
[02:54:02] I am at Jocca-Willink and to all the military members out there that are holding the line.
[02:54:12] Thank you and to those veterans that stood the watch, especially those that were wounded.
[02:54:23] Thank you for giving us our freedom and to police law enforcement firefighters, EMTs and other
[02:54:33] first responders. Thank you for your service. And thank you for keeping us protected from man
[02:54:42] and from nature here at home. And to everyone else out there facing struggles and facing hard times.
[02:54:54] Remember, remember the challenges that Travis Mills faced and still faces.
[02:55:04] And he faces those incredible challenges every minute of every day. And he does that with
[02:55:15] tenacity and positivity and proves without question. That if you never quit and you never give up
[02:55:30] and you keep moving forward, then nothing can stop you from getting after it.
[02:55:37] So, until next time, this is Echo and Jocco out.