Jocko Podcast 336: Your Superpower. How To Get It. How To Use It.

2022-06-02T00:29:55Z

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AI summary of episode

And not by any abuser, anything like that, but it's just, I think it's like a classic case of, you know, what you hear like the husband's always trying to like, happy wife happy life, kind of a thing, and maybe went too far with it, and maybe now he finds himself in a position where he's like, he's just responding and doing everything that the wife says, and the wife doesn't seem happy, kind of a scenario. So, and even though you don't talk about that part, we just, we just mentioned like, usually it's kind of like, the silent leader is more of like, sort of, of maybe influencer type, not influencer like, I don't know. Like, we all know somebody at least one person, probably, you know, 20 people who are like that, where it's like, And they're pretty like some of them are like, okay, that's funny, but some of them are like, oh yeah, huh, and you know, you kind of, but these a lot of times the beginning of the underground podcast is jacos deep thoughts. And they're like, yeah, like, they know like, oh, no, keep it. You know, like we in regards to like, we using the other person's plan or like pursuing that as a way. I feel like, with this attitude that, like, if you understand, 100% 100% not just like, hmm, my situation, sure, I guess I could kind of, if you understand 100% that you are, essentially, you have the responsibility to be the leader, and I'm not saying, be the boss. So you get like, you know, and I get it, man, you want to, you know, buy something kind of cheaper and bring it, you know, and sell it for more. The funny thing about my wife is she'll be like, she'll, she'll stray from the, from the lesson learned, which the lesson learned to me is the lesson learned to me is, I'm going to a restaurant that I already know that I already know. But I think that even the word leader, and I said this for where the word leader feels like it, the, like, the boss that, because there are people like that. So, if your business partner is going in one direction, like two different place, and you're going in another direction, and it's a different place, you're going to have a really, you won't be able to make decisions that are unified. And some of these are a little bit like training wheels, a little bit like like learning aids that once you get good at it, you won't need to do it anymore. I think that when I think the R is like topics that I come across where I think, you know, that'd be cool to talk about for a half an hour or I learned something that I go, oh, this applies to a lot of different situations. so when I watch your video on a lot of videos, actually the originates to these stuff, it kind of like goes to show like, Okay, it creates this bigger picture in your mind about what's really going on. Um, but just like I said, if you don't know, you just, if you don't know, you don't know the positions, you just sort on the ground. So I'm probably going to say, actually, I feel like going to name one of her three favorite restaurants and then we're going to go. And this is on a bunch of them too, where the guy would be like, oh, like, almost like he's saying that didn't count. They always want to do it their way, you know, kind of thing, and, you know, for better words or whatever, it's, I'm just saying that that's when you think of the word leader. If your wife, you know, if your wife wants to, you know, have 20 kids, and you don't want to have any, you're not going to be able to work it out. I think I just, when I'm going to go out and I'm going to invest, like, I don't want to get in the car. But you explain this too, where it's like your kids are going to be different than like other people because when you have kids, that's a very unique relationship. But like, you know, someone who just wants to influence people to do the right thing for everybody, essentially, right? And then all of a sudden they're getting choked and then if you don't know how it happens, you just like, oh, we just sort of wound up like that. Because this is what I kind of thought, you know, like you'll talk about like a. Topic. it's more like, I don't know, it's like, it is the same thing. But, like, if you're just the new guy at work or you're the youngest brother or, you know, you're the, you know, I've heard that, and I have this scenario. So yeah, when you see like how you guys, you know, origin in that video and a lot of other videos, it kind of, it does make me think about that a lot more. It's not like, yeah, we're going to kill everyone or nothing like that. When I was like, oh, see, karate does work and all the karate guys were like, yeah, for we were saying this for years, we always knew karate or the brother Leo to Machita's back. And he was, you know, going through situation he's like, hey, is the first report always wrong? You know, do we do they say that when you're making your order from China or whatever, do they say, hey, you know, like here's all your list items.

Most common words

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is Jockel podcast number 336 with echo Charles and me, Jockel willing. Good evening echo. Good evening.
[00:00:07] So we've done a lot of reading and discussions and interviews on this podcast about the strategies and tactics from leadership, from human nature,
[00:00:25] that I've seen or I've seen others use or I've used myself.
[00:00:32] And you know, this is something that I've noticed lately is, and this is something I used to see in the sea of things.
[00:00:39] And now I see it at that song, in front as well. Where I can sit there and discuss something with someone,
[00:00:45] and think that they understand how to utilize that lesson immediately.
[00:00:51] So I explain something to someone and I think, oh, okay cool, you know, they get it now, right?
[00:00:56] And they'll nodding their head and they'll kind of even give me the readback of, you know, what the, what the principle means.
[00:01:03] And so I think they get it and it seems pretty obvious from my vantage point, but, but it isn't always that obvious to everybody.
[00:01:10] And it can be very hard to see things when you're observing them for the first time.
[00:01:18] So a lot of times I like to try and show a tactic or a technique or a strategy or a procedure from a different angle from a different perspective.
[00:01:31] And that's, you know, in order to try and convey that message to someone from a different vantage point where they may be can understand it better.
[00:01:40] And I think I have become biased toward giving someone else's perspective. Someone else's example.
[00:01:50] And I think that bias comes from the fact that I already know my perspective.
[00:01:55] Right? So I already know what I think, so I enjoy, or I want to give someone else's perspective of a strategy because I find it easier to do it.
[00:02:09] I find it interesting because it's someone else's, because I already know what's inside my own head, right? I already know what's in there.
[00:02:15] That being said, when I did the first interview I ever did in my life, what's with Tim Peris, and he asked me if there's anything that I was world class at.
[00:02:28] And of course I said world classes are very strong.
[00:02:31] Fraze to you, right? And he said it is a strong phrase. And I, so I told him I didn't think I was world class at anything which I still believe I'm not world classed anything.
[00:02:44] But then I don't know if you reframe the question or if I just kind of reframed it in a way that I could appropriately answer it. And I said something long lines of if I had to say that I had some skill sets that help me.
[00:02:58] I think that those skill sets would be number one, being able to take complex things and make them simple.
[00:03:06] And then being able to communicate those things in a simple way that other people can understand.
[00:03:12] And then number two was the ability to detach myself mentally and emotionally from whatever situation I'm in.
[00:03:21] And I believe that allows me to see it more clearly.
[00:03:24] So those are the two things that I think helped me out throughout my career and that I might be decent at doing.
[00:03:32] So I wanted to talk through some principles that we reflect on a lot, but in a more pragmatic way, just to ensure, or at least to help everyone put some of these principles to use in our current environment.
[00:03:48] And I've also been thinking about talking about how some of the principles that I talk about apply to what is going on today.
[00:04:00] This is not, no, what I don't want to do is do some kind of a current events thing.
[00:04:04] This is the greatest news story. And this is because I don't, to me that's not, that's not going to last long.
[00:04:11] Right, people need, if you use a current day example that takes some, you have to understand the backstory behind this news thing so you can apply it.
[00:04:19] I'm not really looking to do that because I want somebody to be able to listen to this in six years and say, oh, there's a good, there's a good angle I didn't see before and this is going to help me with my leadership situation that I'm in right now.
[00:04:29] Or it's going to help me with my life, the way I'm in right now. It's going to help me get through overcome this challenge that I'm facing right now.
[00:04:34] So to make it a little bit more evergreen is the term, right, am I using what is an industry terminology evergreen?
[00:04:43] I learned evergreen from you. So I did you evergreen means you can listen to this podcast in 10 years and still make sense.
[00:04:52] You're not referring to some random, you know, TMZ news story that just came out and everybody's high bonnet.
[00:05:03] But I think we can remain or maintain the evergreen aspect of the podcast and still put in some some of the current events that are going on right now or at least some of the
[00:05:18] more outstanding current events and you know some of this have done on unraveling with Darryl Cooper. I know we did Afghanistan. We've talked about Ukraine. So there's things that he and I hit on that podcast to
[00:05:33] kind of discuss from my perspective what's going on with these situations and even those are difficult because they changed so rapidly things changed so rapidly.
[00:05:45] And I was just having a conversation with about about this with J.P. this morning about, you know, he served me say a million times at the first report the first report so it's wrong.
[00:05:56] And he was, you know, going through situation he's like, hey, is the first report always wrong? I said, yeah, let me refraise that it might not be wrong, but it also might not be right, but you can't just trust.
[00:06:06] I might need to modify that a little bit when I say you can't trust the first report because if you call me panicked saying, I think the house is on fire right or the house is on fire the house is on fire.
[00:06:17] I can't trust that. I have to put it into my calculus, but look, there could have been a smoke bomb that the teenagers threw through the window and it looks like the house on fire with houses on fire right or the house could be on fire.
[00:06:30] So it could be right it could be wrong. What I do know about the first report is I can't trust it 100% unreliable. It's unreliable. So I might need to gather additional information.
[00:06:43] So speaking of these topics and speaking of something that comes up all the time.
[00:06:50] And that I call a superpower is the ability to detach.
[00:07:00] And this, some people automatically get uncomfortable with that because when I say detach, they think, oh, you told me you shouldn't have any emotions at all right.
[00:07:07] And it is talking about detaching from your emotions. It can also mean physically detaching from a situation, but detachment is a superpower. We'll get to the emotional thing and how much you should detach and how much is too much.
[00:07:22] I think one of the clearest displays of detachment and how powerful it is.
[00:07:29] Well, one of my wrote about leadership strategy and tactics, my first platoon doing the clear and the oil platform, but I had that other situation where I was with Seth.
[00:07:39] And we were, he had taken over his task in a commander.
[00:07:43] And when he took over his task in a commander, he broke his neck.
[00:07:47] Thank God he wasn't paralyzed. So Seth Stone was one of the two commanders in tasked bruiser.
[00:07:53] Now he's took over as the tasked commander and he's going through his pre-deployment work up. And I'm in charge of training for all these seal platoons and taskings getting ready to deploy.
[00:08:04] And Seth doing a ship boarding where you climb up ladders on two ships from smaller boats.
[00:08:14] The guy he was the last guy to be climbing the ladder because he's the task commander, so he's not going to be the first guy on deck, right? Because he's sort of taking a step back. He's supposed to be detached. So he's going to be the last guy that goes up.
[00:08:26] And as he's going up, the person above my right, let me refer to that.
[00:08:30] Right as he was about to start climbing the ladder, one of the other guys fell off the ladder and landed square on top of Seth's head from a fall of about 20 feet. And it broke his neck.
[00:08:43] His spinal cord was intact. Thank God.
[00:08:46] So now he's in a big neck brace. And he, but he can still walk around. And his, his task unit is now going through our land warfare training.
[00:08:56] So he's out there observing because he can't participate. And as he's participating or as he's observing, and I'm standing with him observing. And it's one of these crazy training exercises.
[00:09:07] There's total mayhem going on. There's freaking explosions going off. We're using this high speed laser tag system. There's dead people everywhere. Again, this is training. So they're not actually dead. But they're, they're, they're laser tag system is saying that you're dead.
[00:09:23] So there's body strewn all over the place and no one's moving and no one's making any calls. It's total disaster. And they're in in a ravine.
[00:09:31] And the enemy in quotes is in an elevated position and they're just tearing up this Seth's task unit. And Seth, he looks at me. So I can't tell him what to do. I said no.
[00:09:44] I said, just let him figure it out. And another 30 seconds go by. More guys get shot with laser tag. Let me help him. And I go, not yet. Another 30 seconds go by. More guys get shot.
[00:09:55] And mind you, his guys are in this ravine. We're actually in the ravine with them. Now, they're kind of prone position or maybe on their knees and we're standing up. But we're in the ravine with them.
[00:10:07] And finally, he says, he, more guys get shot. He goes, let me help him. And I go, all right, go ahead. And he grabs a random dude, not a leader, just a random guy.
[00:10:18] And he says, I remembered exactly what he said the other night. He said, do I add, which is, which is the most broad, the most broad instruction to give someone.
[00:10:31] Because no one's making any decisions. And an eye add is an immediate action drill, which means when you have a play in football, what's a play in football? Tell me like a play right now.
[00:10:40] That you guys used to run. That you were a part of. 38.
[00:10:43] Okay, so 38 sweep. So now everybody knows what to do when you call that. Give me another one.
[00:10:48] 41 sweep. Okay, 41 sweep. Now everyone's doing something a little bit different, but we're making adjustments. So you literally have plays like that.
[00:10:55] And you would say if you were going to tell your football team, you'd say call a play right? What Seth was saying was, do I ads, which is the same thing as saying call a play.
[00:11:05] So he just grabs a random dude and says, hey, and some probably something new guy or one cruise wonder like all freaked out because everyone's getting shot.
[00:11:14] And you know, Seth gets into this face like, do I ads? And the kid looks up at Seth and's okay. And he makes a call.
[00:11:24] Whatever, whatever, 38 sweeper, 41 sweeper, peel left peel right shift left shift right whatever the call was.
[00:11:33] This kid actually makes a call and almost immediately the problem solved, right?
[00:11:39] Almost immediately they start executing this play and people start putting down cover fire. Other people start to move in it and it solves the problem.
[00:11:47] And as they get out of the area and get out of the kilzone, Seth looks at me and he says, it's so easy to see what to do from way up here.
[00:12:00] And let me remind you, way up here in that situation was simply that we were standing up.
[00:12:08] Like we were in some elevated position, we weren't in an aircraft flying round over. No, we could just see a little bit more. And by the way, the position we were in was a tactically sound position.
[00:12:20] So just by looking around and not getting tunnel vision and detaching whatever it is, probably 20 inches higher than the other people because they're on their knees and you're standing up.
[00:12:33] So you got like what, maybe two feet of additional altitude and you can see everything. And I looked at him and I said, well, I said something long.
[00:12:42] That's what we're not, we're with them. We're not way up here. We're 24 inches above them.
[00:12:49] And he's like, oh yeah, and I said, but you're looking around, your detach. He says, oh yeah.
[00:12:54] And then I said, you remember when we went through this training and he says, yeah, and I said, this is what it was like for me all the time.
[00:13:03] And he had a look on his face of sort of recognition kind of like, oh dang.
[00:13:09] So all the confusion and chaos that was going on. I was always looking at like, okay, uh, peel off, you know, shift right swift, what a swing 32.
[00:13:17] What it was really easy to make the cause because you're looking at it and you can see it. And that is the, that is the power of being able to detach and it is.
[00:13:30] You would think that now this is where this is why I'm talking about this stuff right now because you would think if I explain that to you, you go, okay, cool. Thanks, Jockel. Now I'm going to detach right right.
[00:13:40] That's what we would hope for.
[00:13:42] But there's a problem. It's not that easy. In fact, this can be very difficult to do.
[00:13:50] So here are some of the mechanics of being able to detach.
[00:13:56] And some of these are a little bit like training wheels, a little bit like like learning aids that once you get good at it, you won't need to do it anymore.
[00:14:04] But you should remember, anyways, because there might be some situations where shit really starts going sideways and you have to go back, put your training wheels on and kind of keep put, get it back together.
[00:14:14] So one of the first training wheels is take a step back, a physical step back.
[00:14:23] A physical step back. This is going to change your perspective. It changes your perspective perspective and here's, here's a little like a little.
[00:14:33] A little extra advice. And it's weird to say this. Lift your chin up and look around.
[00:14:44] And the reason I say lift your chin up is because when you lift your chin up, you're changing your perspective a little bit, right?
[00:14:52] Even if it's only by a half an inch when you lift your chin up, you're kind of opening up yourself. You're opening up to new ideas.
[00:15:01] It's the opposite of a fight stance. What are you doing here fight? If you're going to get a fight, you put your chin down, you put your hands up.
[00:15:08] So in this situation, and again, this is like a non-threatening situation.
[00:15:14] So if you're coming at me, if you're like some kind of hostile or unknown and you're coming at me and you're confronting me, obviously I'm not going to lift my chin up and put my hands down.
[00:15:22] That's totally different. What I will do is keep my chin down, lift my hands up. I will step back. I will create space so that I can see more of what's happening.
[00:15:31] Because I don't know you got buddies. You know, I don't know if there's what my surroundings have.
[00:15:37] I don't know if there's weapons available to me. So I'm going to get my hands up. But I am going to broaden my perspective.
[00:15:42] And this is something that we talked about when Andrew Cuban was on here.
[00:15:52] It really calms you. It calms you down. So that's one of the steps of the attachment. So take a step back, lift your chin, look around, and then take a breath. A nice slow breath.
[00:16:08] Because this is nothing that's going to calm you down. It's another thing that's going to let you get control over your emotions.
[00:16:14] And this is something that people intuitively remember when you were a little kid and you'd be having a temper tantrum.
[00:16:20] I've seen it done. Okay. When your kids are having a temper tantrum, have you ever said like, hey, just take a breath.
[00:16:26] And this is something even. Okay. Let me give you a better example. You get hurt. Oh, your kid gets hurt.
[00:16:31] And they're right. What do you tell them? Hey, take a breath calm down. Like take a breath. That's what we tell people to do.
[00:16:39] That's crazy. You said that example because it was watching old videos of my son like did some thing.
[00:16:45] It was a funny video. But you know, at the end of the video he trips over something falls down.
[00:16:51] He's like, what kind of he does near whatever and same deal and literally played out on the video.
[00:16:56] But I was just watching that video. So like, I said, yeah, on the video. I was like, why is it breathe?
[00:17:02] Breathe. Breathe.
[00:17:03] It's true.
[00:17:04] Yeah.
[00:17:05] Very appropriate.
[00:17:06] When Hickson was on here, Hickson wrote a book called Breathe. Right. So there's a reason for this.
[00:17:13] And it's it's proven by experience of people that have been in pressure situations. And it's proven through
[00:17:20] Doctors who can tell you about the physiological impact of taking a nice slow breath.
[00:17:28] So that's what we're doing. This is going to help you detach in these pressure situations.
[00:17:33] Now listen, there's another little like a note.
[00:17:36] Let's say you're, let's say you and I work together and you're pissed off.
[00:17:40] This is a lot different than you and I don't know each other and you're confronting me. Right.
[00:17:44] That's a self defense situation. Hands are coming up. I'm still going to de-escalate.
[00:17:47] I'm going to step back. I'm going to create space all those things. I'm trying to de-escalate.
[00:17:51] And by the way, I'm trying to get detached as well.
[00:17:54] Because let's say, you know, you bumped into or I bumped into your girlfriend and spilled drinks on you and now you're all mad.
[00:18:00] Yeah.
[00:18:01] I don't know you, but now you're all mad. You're coming at me.
[00:18:04] Should I escalate my anger? Because you're coming at me?
[00:18:07] Or because you yell, swear at me and you push me?
[00:18:11] Should I let my anger get me?
[00:18:13] No, I should not. Because then bad things are going to happen.
[00:18:17] Instead, I should be stepping back creating distance looking around, getting my hands into a,
[00:18:23] into a defensive, yet non-threatening, open aspect towards you.
[00:18:29] That's what I need to do. Now, if you're not, but that's in a life threat or a self-defense situation.
[00:18:35] But in just a normal UNI are talking and you start getting pissed.
[00:18:39] But UNI worked together when I'm probably going to do as I step back as I take a breath.
[00:18:43] As I, as I brought my field, I'm, I'm probably going to just nod my head and let you know that I'm listening to what you're saying.
[00:18:50] And we're going to talk more about listening.
[00:18:52] But that's what I'm going to do.
[00:18:55] That's what I'm going to do.
[00:18:57] And as I wrote about in extreme ownership, I'm going to relax, look around, make a call.
[00:19:01] That's it. That was the earliest way of me trying to teach Seth how to detach.
[00:19:08] Was me saying me writing on his home view window, hey, things are going wild.
[00:19:13] Step one, relax, step two, look around, step three, make a call.
[00:19:17] That's the earliest sort of verse I'm trying to convey this message to someone.
[00:19:22] I didn't know how to say detach yet. Didn't, it didn't compute.
[00:19:25] I was just trying to tell them the physical act of what to do.
[00:19:28] Freaking relax, bro. Look around, see what else is going on.
[00:19:32] Okay, now make a call.
[00:19:34] Now, here's the deal on this stuff.
[00:19:38] You can't see anything when you're in the thing.
[00:19:44] You can't see anything when you're in the thing.
[00:19:48] And the solution to the problem isn't in the problem.
[00:19:51] And look, there's a mass shooting that just happened in a school horrible.
[00:19:56] People keep saying, oh, when are you going to say about it?
[00:20:00] I need to see some after actions reports.
[00:20:04] I need to find out what happened. I don't know what happened.
[00:20:08] There's one of the things that I could tell you as you train people to handle horrible situations like that.
[00:20:14] You need to teach people to detach.
[00:20:16] Because if they're not detached, they can't see the solution to the problem.
[00:20:20] All they see is what's right in front of them.
[00:20:24] So if you've got a shooter, an active shooter in a building,
[00:20:30] and you go into that building and you haven't been trained properly, you're going to get focused on that active shooter.
[00:20:34] Then if you think, oh, the active shooter isn't an active shooter anymore.
[00:20:38] It's a barricade shooter.
[00:20:40] You're going to, oh, that's a barricade shooter.
[00:20:42] Now I'm going to follow this other tactic technique or procedure.
[00:20:44] Because you're focused on what's right in front of your focused on that piece of information that you have.
[00:20:50] And you're not going to take a step back and go, hey, what's really happening right now?
[00:20:54] Who can give me a report?
[00:20:57] Who has accountability for the students?
[00:20:59] How many students are there?
[00:21:00] How many are missing?
[00:21:01] Where are they located?
[00:21:02] Who's assembling that big picture?
[00:21:05] You know who's assembling that big picture?
[00:21:07] Someone that's detached from the situation.
[00:21:09] Hmm.
[00:21:11] And it is not easy to train people to do that.
[00:21:15] It used to take me a while to get a seal.
[00:21:19] Sometimes a seal that'd been in for five years, seven years, ten years,
[00:21:23] to get them to be able to, oh, there's mayhem going on in this building.
[00:21:28] I need to be the one that takes a step back, looks at the big picture.
[00:21:34] And figures out what's actually happening.
[00:21:38] The putting people through that advanced seal tackle training, the primary purpose
[00:21:45] was to get them to learn how to detach.
[00:21:49] And again, at the time, I didn't say it with these exact words.
[00:21:53] You know, I'd say you knew you set back, look at the big picture.
[00:21:56] You know, like I was trying to convey it the best I could at the time,
[00:22:00] I might have used the word detach.
[00:22:02] But I know I would say things like, hey, take a step back, look around.
[00:22:07] You need to see this stuff.
[00:22:08] You need to look at the big picture.
[00:22:10] That was me trying to get these young seal leaders like Seth Stone.
[00:22:14] Hey, dude, relax and look around.
[00:22:17] That's what you need to do.
[00:22:20] Because once we could get those young seal leaders to actually do that,
[00:22:26] all of a sudden they could solve these complex problems that we would throw out.
[00:22:31] If they couldn't detach, no, no, if no one in a platoon detached, no one would solve the problem,
[00:22:35] and they would get slaughtered.
[00:22:37] If one person could take a step back and say, oh, wait,
[00:22:41] we shouldn't keep going down this hallway, or we shouldn't keep moving up this street.
[00:22:45] Or we shouldn't keep going up this ravine.
[00:22:47] Or we should go backwards right now.
[00:22:50] Or we should find that.
[00:22:51] If one person can see that, they win.
[00:22:54] If nobody sees it, they get slaughtered.
[00:22:57] So my primary goal with the leaders teaching them how to lead,
[00:23:01] the first thing they had to do is be able to detach.
[00:23:03] Now, once you detach, then you can see.
[00:23:04] Then you teach them, okay, here's how you want to use the terrain.
[00:23:07] Here's the effective way to maneuver.
[00:23:09] Here's where you want to concentrate your forces.
[00:23:10] Like, all those things are great.
[00:23:12] If you can't detach, you can't do any of those things.
[00:23:14] It's a lot harder than it looks.
[00:23:19] It's a lot harder than it seems,
[00:23:21] and the hype and the emotion and the energy,
[00:23:25] it tends to make us not want to detach.
[00:23:29] And the natural tendency that we have as human beings
[00:23:34] is to focus on what's right in front of us.
[00:23:36] This is the natural tendency.
[00:23:38] That's how we survived as hunter-gatherers.
[00:23:42] As a hunter-gatherer, you either, okay, if you're a hunter,
[00:23:46] guess what, you gotta be focused on.
[00:23:48] You see movement, and it's a freaking pig that you're going to slaughter,
[00:23:51] kill with a bone arrow or a spear or whatever.
[00:23:53] You need to hype or focus on that thing.
[00:23:55] As an individual human, you need to hype or focus on that thing.
[00:23:58] If you're walking around and you see movement,
[00:24:01] and it's a tiger, you need to focus on that thing.
[00:24:04] It needs to become your number one priority.
[00:24:07] And in order to survive, you need to focus.
[00:24:11] You need to get high-profocused, and that's what we're programmed for.
[00:24:14] And there's sometimes as an individual, you gotta do that sometimes.
[00:24:17] It's actually a great thing to have.
[00:24:20] You know, you're walking down the street,
[00:24:22] and all of a sudden the cars coming up on the sidewalk,
[00:24:24] you focus on that thing, so you can avoid it.
[00:24:27] You've ever seen that like when they're trying to get a robot
[00:24:30] to catch a ball.
[00:24:31] It has to do eight billion calculations in point two seconds
[00:24:36] to catch a ball.
[00:24:37] I don't even know if there's a robot that can catch a fast ball
[00:24:42] from a pitcher.
[00:24:44] Yeah, like a humanoid robot, even with the size,
[00:24:48] with a glove, the size of a catcher's mitt.
[00:24:51] Or like a eye-gain almost guaranteed to you
[00:24:53] that they can't make one that could hit a baseball bat.
[00:24:56] I don't know.
[00:24:57] I've never seen one.
[00:24:58] If that's, there's a billion little calculations
[00:25:02] that have to get made.
[00:25:03] And I've also heard like baseball players win that,
[00:25:07] win the ball leaves, the pitchers hand.
[00:25:11] Like they're already predicting where it's going to be.
[00:25:14] I mean, obviously they are because they can hit it
[00:25:16] with a freaking skinny little bat.
[00:25:18] You know what I'm saying?
[00:25:19] Yeah.
[00:25:20] So there's times where this is fully beneficial.
[00:25:23] And that's what our, that's our natural tendency is
[00:25:26] is to get focused on this thing.
[00:25:28] That's right in front of us.
[00:25:29] But as leaders,
[00:25:31] and honestly in some situations as individuals,
[00:25:34] you're going to have a problem if you do that.
[00:25:37] And I think I was thinking about this on from 100% right.
[00:25:40] But it mostly has to do when you're dealing with humans.
[00:25:45] When you're dealing with a human threat.
[00:25:47] Because humans do coordinated attacks.
[00:25:50] Yeah.
[00:25:51] Right?
[00:25:52] Sure.
[00:25:52] Like, oh, wolf, you might get attacked by a pack of wolves.
[00:25:57] You'll lose just because they all attack you at the same time.
[00:26:00] And you might get eaten by a pack of sharks.
[00:26:05] But it's not because one distracted you and the other one snuck up.
[00:26:08] And you know what I'm saying?
[00:26:09] There's a difference between mob attacks,
[00:26:11] which I think is what most animals do.
[00:26:14] And what humans do,
[00:26:16] which is humans are setting you up like a sucker and flanking you.
[00:26:20] Right?
[00:26:21] That's what humans do.
[00:26:22] That's what a, that's what like a sucker punches.
[00:26:25] Right?
[00:26:26] Oh, a sucker punches like, oh, you're there talking to me.
[00:26:28] I'm like, I'll beat you and boom, my buddy punches you inside of the head.
[00:26:31] Or hit you with a bottle from behind.
[00:26:33] That's what humans do.
[00:26:35] Humans are savages.
[00:26:37] And so even as individuals, sometimes if you get target fixation,
[00:26:42] you're going to have a problem.
[00:26:45] So when we're in complex situations,
[00:26:48] there could be an emergency, right?
[00:26:50] Emergency, a fire of a vehicle accident.
[00:26:54] There's a lot of stuff going on.
[00:26:56] Combat situations, obviously.
[00:26:58] And you know what else?
[00:27:00] This is where you make that mental transition.
[00:27:02] An argument with someone.
[00:27:04] Maybe not even argument, but in the bait with someone.
[00:27:06] You've ever seen someone get lured in an argument and just flanked.
[00:27:10] Yeah.
[00:27:11] And it's because they didn't detach.
[00:27:13] Uh, a few good men.
[00:27:17] Yes.
[00:27:18] Right?
[00:27:19] That's what it is, it's just a big flank, right?
[00:27:20] I'm going to get this guy so mad and so emotional.
[00:27:22] Yeah.
[00:27:23] That when I ask him this question, he's going to expose himself.
[00:27:25] Yep.
[00:27:26] And that's what Tom Cruise does, right?
[00:27:29] You're got down right.
[00:27:30] I already, the code read.
[00:27:31] That's exactly what he does.
[00:27:33] The kernel in that movie.
[00:27:36] Jack Nick, Jack Nicholson.
[00:27:38] Nicholson, yes sir.
[00:27:39] Jack Nicholson, he didn't detach.
[00:27:41] No.
[00:27:42] He could have seen through that so easily.
[00:27:43] Yep.
[00:27:44] He could have been like, no, I absolutely would not order that.
[00:27:46] You can, if you had a few videos calm.
[00:27:48] Yeah.
[00:27:49] He didn't, that's a perfect example of how we can let this idea
[00:27:53] bite us.
[00:27:55] Yeah.
[00:27:56] So if perhaps, what's the kernel's name in that movie?
[00:28:01] Jessup.
[00:28:02] Cruf, if kernel Jessup, maybe if he would have gone through my landlord for a train
[00:28:07] back in the day.
[00:28:08] You know, like, oh, I'm about to get flanked by homeboy.
[00:28:11] If I'm young Tom Cruise, you know, kernel Jessup would have said,
[00:28:14] actually, no, negative.
[00:28:16] There's no way I'd give that order, but then said he got emotionally.
[00:28:19] F flanked like a little punk.
[00:28:23] So imagine how much that happens to us or can't happen to us.
[00:28:28] So that's what we have to learn how to do in everything.
[00:28:33] And here's a little connection I'm going to make for you.
[00:28:37] There's a connection between being humble and being able to detach.
[00:28:45] And the connection is, if you're not humble, if you got a big ego, you think you're the
[00:28:51] center of the world.
[00:28:52] Right?
[00:28:53] You think you're, you think you are the center of the world.
[00:28:57] And when you think you're the center of the world, you can't see anyone else's emotions.
[00:29:01] You can't see anyone else's moves.
[00:29:03] There moves don't even mean anything to you because you're just looking at everything
[00:29:07] as Jaco Centric, echo centric.
[00:29:10] It's all about me.
[00:29:12] So I don't see that you're getting mad.
[00:29:13] I don't see that you're getting frustrated.
[00:29:16] And that's what we have to be careful about.
[00:29:20] Because if you think you're the most important thing and you've got that gravity,
[00:29:26] it's pulling everything in and all of other ideas,
[00:29:34] then they don't make it.
[00:29:36] Other, they nothing else can survive this strong gravity that you got.
[00:29:41] You don't see anything else.
[00:29:46] What's the difference between detaching and situational awareness?
[00:29:51] Right?
[00:29:52] What's, I mean, is there a difference?
[00:29:55] If they're not the same thing, then they're damn close.
[00:29:58] I would say I would say this.
[00:30:01] Detachment is senior to situational awareness.
[00:30:06] If you're not detached, you're not going to have any situational awareness.
[00:30:09] If you are detached, you will have much more situational awareness.
[00:30:13] Detachment is senior because not only am I detached, so I can see what's happening in the situation.
[00:30:18] I'm also aware of my emotions.
[00:30:20] I'm aware of your emotions.
[00:30:21] Does the situation include everything?
[00:30:24] Okay, then they're probably the same thing.
[00:30:26] If we're saying that situation overall includes your emotions, my emotions are physical space that we're in.
[00:30:31] Everything that's occurring.
[00:30:32] If that's the situation, okay, then they're probably pretty close to the same thing.
[00:30:36] I generally think of situational awareness as to being what's our physical thing that's happening.
[00:30:43] But it's not too much to different to say, oh, echo is a possible attacker?
[00:30:49] Yeah, yeah.
[00:30:50] Is he agitated?
[00:30:51] Yeah, exactly.
[00:30:52] That would be situational awareness.
[00:30:53] Oh, I can see he's frustrated.
[00:30:54] I can see he's his fist or clenched.
[00:30:57] Okay, that's all situational awareness.
[00:30:59] So there are really similar things.
[00:31:02] But I think I still think detachment is a senior element because if you don't have detachment, it ain't happening.
[00:31:11] You're not going to have situational awareness at all.
[00:31:14] Yeah, it feels like most of the time, see, they bring up detaching is when you're kind of in the one that chaotic situation kind of already started.
[00:31:22] Or it's almost like, I guess you can constantly be detached though, right?
[00:31:27] I mean, not completely.
[00:31:29] I mean, you know, I have time to hurt you explain. You're like, don't go too far with this thing.
[00:31:33] Right? You don't care about nothing or whatever, but, uh, seems like detaching when I imagine it, I guess, is, yeah, when something like happens to kind of escalator whatever.
[00:31:44] And then it's like, okay, then you should kind of detach or whatever.
[00:31:47] And you know what? Good point. Check this out.
[00:31:52] The, the black belt. He's likely not even going to get the situation to a point where he has detach because he's already attached to any sees it.
[00:32:01] Come on, he doesn't have to worry about it because he already outfanked it. That's the game.
[00:32:04] That's the game. That's what we're trying to do.
[00:32:07] Unless he's going to up against another black belt unless he's going up on this.
[00:32:11] Then, thus begins the psychological game within the game.
[00:32:15] Yeah. And then you are end up in straight, due to where how many moves ahead, you know, M.I.
[00:32:21] To you. And my five moves ahead and you're only four. I'm going to win.
[00:32:25] If I'm five moves ahead, but you're seven, you're going to win. That's what's happening.
[00:32:30] So, there is a connection between the more self-centered we are, the less the rest of the world matters.
[00:32:39] And therefore, it's hard to step outside of your own world.
[00:32:43] Yeah. Maybe that's a better way of putting it.
[00:32:45] Yeah, that seems accurate.
[00:32:46] You know, for instance, a little kid that loses their temper. Why is that?
[00:32:51] Because they're the whole world in the store. In the store.
[00:32:54] They don't care about anything else. They want that freaking ice cream cone.
[00:32:58] That's what's up. So they don't care about anything else.
[00:33:01] Yeah. And they're not going to be able to attach at all.
[00:33:04] Yeah. And they don't care about anything else.
[00:33:06] So the younger you are, you're really important.
[00:33:09] Yeah. So we have to be careful with that.
[00:33:11] Here's another little element. Detachment is what actually allows you to think strategic.
[00:33:22] It's what actually allows you to think strategic.
[00:33:25] Because the definition of what I started with of saying,
[00:33:31] Hey, I'm worried about the person that's shooting me right now.
[00:33:33] That's a short term thinking.
[00:33:35] Now, do I have to focus on that right now? Because I'm getting shot at, yes, I do.
[00:33:38] The minute I eliminate that threat, I better take a step back and look around and get my platoon into position,
[00:33:44] where I don't have to worry about threats.
[00:33:46] So I can see where we need to go next.
[00:33:49] So unless we are detached unless you take a minute, you know, if you're in business and every day,
[00:33:55] you show up to work the phones, ring in the emails or comment in your solving this problem for a client or dealing with operations,
[00:34:00] your deal with sales. You got all these problems. You're just that's what you're doing all day.
[00:34:04] Cool.
[00:34:05] But you're not detached. And therefore you're thinking about tactical things that are right in front of you.
[00:34:10] And you might win the day tactically, but you look up in six months and you've, you've got some issues,
[00:34:16] because you didn't order enough material for the next project and you didn't hire enough,
[00:34:20] like all these problems are happening. Strategic problems are happening.
[00:34:23] So unless you're able to detach, you're not able to think strategic.
[00:34:27] So think about how this impact your life.
[00:34:30] And this is, you know, from you echo Charles, you've said before to me that the most important thing that you've taken away from hanging out with me for the last however many years
[00:34:42] is thinking strategic instead of tactical.
[00:34:45] And the way that translates to this civilian world is you think long term instead of short term.
[00:34:51] And that I agree with you.
[00:34:53] And we have a, you've heard me say before and you pulled a clip from one of the, uh, musters where a guy asked me, you know,
[00:35:01] how often should I think strategic and I said you should think strategic all the time.
[00:35:05] You said it differently.
[00:35:06] Yeah, I was a little, little more amped at the time.
[00:35:09] But if you can't detach, if you don't take a step back, you will or not thinking strategic.
[00:35:15] Yeah.
[00:35:16] That's why this is like a superpower.
[00:35:18] Detachment allows you to not focus on the short term.
[00:35:23] It avoids tactical thinking.
[00:35:24] Now, it also avoids you getting emotional and making bad decisions because that's when you make bad decisions.
[00:35:29] Are you guaranteed to make a bad decision where you're emotional?
[00:35:31] No.
[00:35:32] But I mean, there's a real good chance.
[00:35:35] Pretty reliable.
[00:35:36] Yeah, it's pretty reliable that an emotional decision is not the best decision.
[00:35:40] It's pretty reliable.
[00:35:42] Now, does this mean I'm sitting there saying it for everyone that's, you know, out there.
[00:35:47] Oh, you know, you say and you shouldn't have any emotions.
[00:35:51] That's actually not what I'm saying.
[00:35:53] And all what I'm saying is you shouldn't let your emotions run your decisions.
[00:36:00] Yeah.
[00:36:01] They do right.
[00:36:02] Control over your emotions does not mean not having emotions.
[00:36:08] Because emotions are important.
[00:36:11] We like to say.
[00:36:13] Yes.
[00:36:13] Emotions are important.
[00:36:17] My emotions are important.
[00:36:19] My teams emotions are important.
[00:36:21] My boss's emotions are important.
[00:36:24] The competitor or the enemy emotions are important.
[00:36:28] And I, okay, how can they be important?
[00:36:30] Well, if I, if you're mad about something that you need to do,
[00:36:33] Are you going to do a good job?
[00:36:34] And you do, if you work for me, are you going to do your best job?
[00:36:38] If, on the contrary, if you're super excited about something,
[00:36:41] Are you going to do a good job?
[00:36:43] Yeah.
[00:36:44] What if you're my enemy?
[00:36:45] And your morale is low and you're emotionally drained?
[00:36:47] Is it going to be an opportune time to fight you?
[00:36:50] Yes, it is.
[00:36:51] What if you're, what if I've done something to your people?
[00:36:55] And now you're mad and you're going to fight with vengeance.
[00:36:58] You're angry.
[00:36:59] Is, is that a good time for me to attack you from what your my enemy?
[00:37:02] No.
[00:37:03] What about my boss?
[00:37:04] My boss is super angry about something.
[00:37:08] How will good time to present a new solution to it? No.
[00:37:11] Is that like the old classic, don't tell your wife to calm down?
[00:37:15] That is part of the classic. Don't tell your wife to calm down.
[00:37:18] Because like, yes, she's not, she's emotional.
[00:37:21] Whatever, we're in vice versa.
[00:37:23] But, you know, but the, yeah, when you say, hey, calm down.
[00:37:27] That's not a good move.
[00:37:29] Does that a strategic?
[00:37:30] So you can see how emotions play into each one of those elements that I just talked about.
[00:37:35] Yeah. So I have, oh, and by the way, I have to know my emotions too, right?
[00:37:39] If I've got some massive task and I know I'm already drained or angry about it.
[00:37:48] If I've got some delicate, if I'm mad at you, I know, yeah, I've got to go and discuss a project with you.
[00:37:52] And I'm already mad that you didn't do something.
[00:37:54] Is that a good time for me to go in? They're not talking to you. No, it's not.
[00:37:57] So what I need to do and a way to think the emotions are own emotions
[00:38:04] and other people's emotions up down across the chain of command need to be in the calculus of our decision making.
[00:38:13] That's what I need to do.
[00:38:16] And a lot of times, in current times, this is 2022, we don't take other people's emotions into our calculus.
[00:38:28] So you have to measure.
[00:38:33] You have to measure if and how what you are going to say, how it's going to impact your family.
[00:38:43] If it's going to impact your family, your team, yourself. You have to measure that.
[00:38:48] Is it going to make them angry? Is it going to make them upset? Is it going to make them lose motivation?
[00:38:52] Is it going to cross their morale?
[00:38:55] And if you don't put that, but if you don't put all the emotional element into the calculus,
[00:39:01] you're going to get the wrong answer.
[00:39:05] And by the way, you won't be able to assess any of these emotions if you're not detached.
[00:39:11] You won't see your own emotions. You won't see other people's emotions.
[00:39:17] You won't be like, oh, my wife is mad right now because you're mad.
[00:39:21] So you don't see them as being mad. And even if you do see them as being mad, you're mad.
[00:39:25] So you just get mad at them for being mad.
[00:39:27] What you have to do is be able to detach and get some level of control over your emotions.
[00:39:33] So when I talk about detaching from your emotions, I'm not talking about having no emotions.
[00:39:39] And by the way, if you detach from your emotions too much and now you're interacting with your team,
[00:39:45] your team just thinks you're a jerk. That's what's happening.
[00:39:49] So yeah, like you don't care. Oh yeah, like you don't care.
[00:39:54] Oh, that's a huge deal. Like when your boss doesn't care, is it distracted or just when you have that feeling is what I'm saying.
[00:40:00] Or if you give that feeling to your wife, you know, something that you're talking about to me,
[00:40:07] who's all your time.
[00:40:08] Because that kind of is the deal, right?
[00:40:11] Where you like, you lit every single list item or everything,
[00:40:14] every topic you talked about literally has directly to do.
[00:40:18] I mean, look, some people not married, I get it.
[00:40:20] But if you are even girlfriend boyfriend scenario, whatever.
[00:40:23] That applies to you in your life.
[00:40:25] 100%.
[00:40:26] Oh yeah, it's like the end of your kids.
[00:40:28] So the kids, there is a you, it's playing, yeah, it's more like,
[00:40:34] I don't know, it's like, it is the same thing. It's the same format for sure.
[00:40:37] But you explain this too, where it's like your kids are going to be different than like other people because
[00:40:43] when you have kids, that's a very unique relationship.
[00:40:45] It's very unique.
[00:40:46] Like you can't, you can't just switch out one kid for another kid and make the connection.
[00:40:52] So it's supposed to make what's the connection?
[00:40:54] The emotions.
[00:40:55] The emotions.
[00:40:56] Yeah, the connection.
[00:40:57] That's what makes it, you know, your emotional attachment to your kids is so strong.
[00:41:04] It's so strong that you have to be even more cautious in how you and how you calculate the emotions up and down the chain.
[00:41:16] So it's kind of like the difference between a muffin and a cupcake.
[00:41:19] But I don't know the difference between those two.
[00:41:21] I think one just has more sugar in it.
[00:41:23] Is that the truth?
[00:41:24] I don't know.
[00:41:25] Which one has more sugar?
[00:41:26] Cupcake.
[00:41:27] Okay.
[00:41:28] Seems same?
[00:41:29] Yeah, I guess.
[00:41:30] The kids have more sugar.
[00:41:31] They have more emotion.
[00:41:32] More emotions.
[00:41:33] A type of, or involved in the equation.
[00:41:35] But you handle them the same way.
[00:41:36] We're trying not to eat them.
[00:41:38] Yeah.
[00:41:39] 80 to 90% of the time.
[00:41:40] Seems same.
[00:41:41] Yep.
[00:41:42] So you can't see any of these emotions if you're not detached.
[00:41:48] So go back to first topic of the day, take a step back, relax, look around, take a breath,
[00:41:53] get detached, and then put the emotions, comprehend the emotions, put them into your
[00:41:59] calculus as you're making decisions, as you're communicating with people.
[00:42:02] And that's going to put you in a different, put you in a better scenario.
[00:42:07] Now, here's another thing that you can utilize for detachment, which is very powerful,
[00:42:16] not just for detachment, but for life and definitely for leadership.
[00:42:20] And that is actually listening to what other people are saying.
[00:42:25] And I've been saying for a couple of years now, listening is the most unarrated skill in leadership.
[00:42:31] And I think I have to take it a little bit further and I'll think it about a good way to explain listening.
[00:42:40] Because listening doesn't just mean be quiet.
[00:42:42] Okay, echo is talking now as soon as you're done.
[00:42:44] I'm ready to present my ideas back at you.
[00:42:47] I don't know where we did this.
[00:42:49] I think we probably just did this on a Q&A while ago, but people will have often asked me,
[00:42:55] what is my process for reading a book?
[00:42:58] And I've talked through my process for reading a book and reading a book for the podcast, really.
[00:43:05] So if I'm reading a book for the podcast, I'm going to read it actively.
[00:43:12] It's an active reading.
[00:43:15] I'm not passively.
[00:43:16] The words aren't just coming into my head and there they are.
[00:43:20] And no, I'm actively reading the words.
[00:43:23] That means I am putting the words into context in my own head.
[00:43:28] In the story that it is.
[00:43:31] And then how my mind understands that story and what the context in the story is.
[00:43:37] And then how that context fits in my head.
[00:43:39] Because that's face it.
[00:43:43] I found reading with the old breed.
[00:43:47] There's context to that story.
[00:43:49] To that particular sentence, that particular paragraph, that particular word, this context around it.
[00:43:54] And it's not just the word.
[00:43:56] It's not just a paragraph.
[00:43:58] There's a whole world there that you have to try and understand.
[00:43:59] This context that you have to have.
[00:44:01] And then you have to put it into your own context.
[00:44:05] And look, you don't have to have been in combat to understand or to put your own context around it.
[00:44:13] You go, oh, these guys haven't eaten for six days.
[00:44:18] Hey, I remember yesterday.
[00:44:21] I didn't have any lunch.
[00:44:23] By the end of the day, I was starving.
[00:44:25] God, now these guys are six years.
[00:44:27] You have to really try and engage your own brain and overlay your own experiences on it.
[00:44:34] And try and understand and truly put yourself into other people's perspective.
[00:44:39] What do they know that I can try and understand?
[00:44:44] So to me, that's active reading.
[00:44:48] Really active reading.
[00:44:51] And that's what we need to do with listening.
[00:44:55] Actively listen.
[00:44:57] Actively try and understand what you're trying to say.
[00:45:01] Actively try and understand your perspective.
[00:45:04] What does echo know that I don't know right now?
[00:45:08] How can I actively try and understand what he's saying?
[00:45:14] And of course, one of the biggest obstacles to truly listening is having a big giant ego.
[00:45:21] And I think echo alone, no, he's not going to mind.
[00:45:24] You know what I mean?
[00:45:26] Like, oh, hey, John, you always put my arm.
[00:45:28] Oh, my hips over here on my arm. Oh, echo's trying to get me instructions on your jits.
[00:45:32] Oh, yeah.
[00:45:33] You know what I'm saying?
[00:45:34] That's what our ego gets in the way because how could anybody possibly know anything more than me?
[00:45:40] So we don't really listen.
[00:45:43] And I think I think that as we look at society today,
[00:45:50] there is a lot of talking and not a lot of listening.
[00:45:57] And it turns into me and here's the thing.
[00:46:02] Talking, no listening, and therefore no, no bridges, no common ground found.
[00:46:09] No changes of opinion. People don't change opinion.
[00:46:12] Right? I got my opinion. I'm right.
[00:46:15] I'm not going to change my opinion. That's where people are at.
[00:46:18] That's where the vast majority of people are at.
[00:46:20] Seems like you.
[00:46:21] Oh, I shouldn't see you say the vast.
[00:46:23] That's where the loudest people are at.
[00:46:26] I guess it's worth saying.
[00:46:28] Yeah.
[00:46:29] Yeah.
[00:46:30] I think it's an issue.
[00:46:32] I think it's a huge issue.
[00:46:34] I think it's a issue for myself, even.
[00:46:36] A lot of it's an issue for everybody.
[00:46:38] Myself, for yourself, everybody that's in the world.
[00:46:41] Is hey, I kind of know the deal here.
[00:46:43] Yeah, I know this.
[00:46:45] You're not going to tell me anything.
[00:46:47] Yeah.
[00:46:48] And what's horrible about that is,
[00:46:50] you know, if you were presenting a plan to me for an operation,
[00:46:54] you're not going to be able to do that.
[00:46:57] And I have a difference of opinion in the new.
[00:46:59] And so I, and but I don't listen to what you're saying.
[00:47:02] Are we going to come up with a better plan or a worse plan?
[00:47:05] Plymercy.
[00:47:06] It's going to be a worse plan.
[00:47:08] Where is the faculty? Oh, echoes presenting a plan to me.
[00:47:11] Let me truly actively listen to what he's saying.
[00:47:15] Let me see how that fits into the idea that I have.
[00:47:18] And where's the common ground?
[00:47:19] What? Oh, and we got some, we got some,
[00:47:21] and we got some.
[00:47:24] Who's right? And you know what I actually say?
[00:47:26] How is echo right?
[00:47:27] That's the biggest trick right there.
[00:47:29] When it comes to leadership, one of the biggest tricks in leadership is
[00:47:32] how is echo right? I'm the leader, but how is echo right?
[00:47:35] How can I make echo right? How can I listen to him?
[00:47:37] How can I make him, how can I give him the, the, the,
[00:47:41] the advantage here?
[00:47:43] Not how can I prove him wrong?
[00:47:45] I don't want you to be wrong. I want you to be right.
[00:47:47] Yeah.
[00:47:47] So that's what we have to do. Now when we listen, just like reading,
[00:47:52] when we actively listen, we actively read,
[00:47:55] ask yourself or ask them and yourself earnest questions.
[00:48:01] Put yourself in their shoes, in real life, and this is hard to do.
[00:48:06] In real life, in real life, truly,
[00:48:10] how would I feel if I were that person?
[00:48:12] And you know sometimes like, you know, echo, let's see.
[00:48:18] Echo didn't pay for his phone.
[00:48:21] He got his phone cut off, right?
[00:48:23] So I go, what a loser.
[00:48:25] Like he, he's an idiot. He deserves it.
[00:48:29] Yeah.
[00:48:30] That's as far, like, oh, well, okay.
[00:48:32] If I was an echo, she was an onion,
[00:48:34] I didn't pay my phone bill and it got cut off.
[00:48:35] I would think I was a loser.
[00:48:37] That's like my perspective.
[00:48:39] And set us in, all right, what's the situation he's in?
[00:48:42] How did he end up here?
[00:48:44] What doesn't he understand about the world that I understand?
[00:48:48] How come he doesn't understand those things?
[00:48:51] That's what, that's what it is.
[00:48:53] It's like, it takes effort.
[00:48:55] Yeah.
[00:48:56] It takes effort to get there.
[00:48:58] And set it just right and it off.
[00:49:00] And I put, I take my entire world view.
[00:49:03] And I take your little chunk of experience that you had by not paying your phone bill.
[00:49:07] Like, oh, in my world view, you're a loser.
[00:49:09] Yeah.
[00:49:10] That's true.
[00:49:11] That's true.
[00:49:12] And so then what, how can I help you?
[00:49:13] I can't, I can't help you.
[00:49:15] I can't help myself.
[00:49:16] I can't help anybody else.
[00:49:17] All I say is, oh, anyone that does that's a loser?
[00:49:20] I'm not, that doesn't solve anything.
[00:49:22] So that's what I think is a, is a huge,
[00:49:25] a huge piece for us is as a leader and as a person.
[00:49:35] And look, those two terms for me are kind of interchangeable.
[00:49:38] I don't know, that sounds crazy.
[00:49:40] But as, this is something that I started saying,
[00:49:44] I think when leadership strategy and tactics came out,
[00:49:46] which is, if you interact with other human beings,
[00:49:50] you're in a leadership position.
[00:49:53] It doesn't matter if, it doesn't matter if you're,
[00:49:55] it doesn't matter if you're the boss.
[00:49:57] Yeah.
[00:49:58] And I'm the subordinate.
[00:50:00] And I'm the only subordinate you have.
[00:50:02] I'm a son of a leadership position.
[00:50:03] Yeah.
[00:50:04] It doesn't matter if I have one peer.
[00:50:07] And we, and I don't see you even though you're the boss.
[00:50:10] I have one peer.
[00:50:11] I'm still in a leadership position.
[00:50:12] If you interact with other people, you're in a leadership position.
[00:50:15] Because you're trying to lead them to do the right thing,
[00:50:19] to moving the right direction.
[00:50:21] And does this mean you're always trying to influence?
[00:50:24] No, because I might be like, oh, Echo's giving me some direction.
[00:50:26] It seems like good call.
[00:50:27] Cool.
[00:50:28] I'm going to go execute.
[00:50:29] I don't need to like, well, hold on.
[00:50:30] Let me give you more perspective.
[00:50:31] No, no, I'm not talking about that at all.
[00:50:32] Am I trying to build a relationship with you?
[00:50:33] Yes, I am.
[00:50:34] And I try to build a relationship so that I can better support you in the future.
[00:50:37] If you happen to tell me something to do, that doesn't make sense?
[00:50:40] Sure.
[00:50:41] Yeah, it's good that you differentiate pretty often to the difference between what you call the traditional leader.
[00:50:48] And you know, what?
[00:50:49] And what?
[00:50:50] But what's the other way?
[00:50:51] You don't have a term for the other one?
[00:50:52] No, I certainly do.
[00:50:53] The sign-let leader.
[00:50:54] Sign-let leader.
[00:50:55] Yeah, you're right.
[00:50:56] So, okay.
[00:50:57] So, and even though you don't talk about that part,
[00:50:59] we just, we just mentioned like,
[00:51:01] usually it's kind of like, the silent leader is more of like, sort of,
[00:51:06] of maybe influencer type, not influencer like, I don't know.
[00:51:11] But like, you know, someone who just wants to influence people to do the right thing for everybody,
[00:51:15] essentially, right?
[00:51:16] And then the traditional leader is the guy who wants to be the boss and wants everyone to listen to what they said.
[00:51:21] Yep.
[00:51:22] Everyone listen to me.
[00:51:23] Yeah.
[00:51:24] Which is the opposite of everything I just talked about, which is saying, if you're a leader, you'd be listening.
[00:51:27] Yeah, it's exactly right.
[00:51:28] But I think that even the word leader, and I said this for where the word leader feels like it,
[00:51:34] the, like, the boss that, because there are people like that.
[00:51:37] They tell each other, yeah, they tell each other, yeah.
[00:51:39] And because there's people like that.
[00:51:41] Like, we all know somebody at least one person, probably, you know,
[00:51:44] 20 people who are like that, where it's like, yeah, you could tell they want to always take charge.
[00:51:49] They want, they always want people to listen to them.
[00:51:51] They always want to do it their way, you know, kind of thing, and, you know, for better words or whatever,
[00:51:55] it's, I'm just saying that that's when you think of the word leader.
[00:51:59] That's kind of what you think of automatically and when we're in the other.
[00:52:02] Yeah.
[00:52:03] Absolutely.
[00:52:04] That's one of the, one of the, I guess, long term campaigns for me as a human being on earth is to convince people and let them know that even if you're a brand new guy in a seal-patoon, you're in a leadership position.
[00:52:17] A brand new guy with no experience, you're in a leadership position.
[00:52:20] Even if you're a brand new construction worker with no experience,
[00:52:24] you're in a leadership position.
[00:52:26] Even if you're a lineman out there, you're at a apprentice lineman.
[00:52:30] You have no skills, you're in a leadership position.
[00:52:33] So, of the four laws of, here's the thing, there's no escaping unless you're a hermit, you're a leader, right?
[00:52:39] So there's no escaping unless you're maybe a newborn baby, I don't know.
[00:52:42] But, and this is, this is what I gathered, you know, on the listening to you guys.
[00:52:48] So, you know, the fourth law of combat, decentralized, come at.
[00:52:52] As we know as a decentralized.
[00:52:54] And the, what is that, the tagline or whatever everybody leads, right?
[00:52:59] So, even if you are a the leader, designated, cross the, you're the boss, either.
[00:53:04] You're the buyer of a company, whatever, you're the dad of the family, whatever, whatever, whatever.
[00:53:08] You're the straight-up boss.
[00:53:11] But, decentralized command, which is law of combat, says everybody leads.
[00:53:15] So, even the people who are subordinate to you, quote, I'm quote,
[00:53:19] they have to lead and whose job is it for them to know how to lead your job.
[00:53:24] So, everyone's a leader, no matter if you're the boss or not.
[00:53:28] Like, you can be the new guy, whatever, and most of us are the new guy and it's seal platoon.
[00:53:32] I'll tell you that.
[00:53:33] You may or may not know that, but, some, most of us are not.
[00:53:37] But, like, if you're just the new guy at work or you're the youngest brother or, you know, you're the, you know,
[00:53:43] I've heard that, and I have this scenario.
[00:53:46] I'm going to call it hypothetical, even though it might not be hypothetical.
[00:53:48] It's not me, that's true, but someone has some people I know, where the husband feels a little bit, what he called,
[00:53:56] like, emasculated sometimes.
[00:53:58] And not by any abuser, anything like that, but it's just, I think it's like a classic case of, you know,
[00:54:04] what you hear like the husband's always trying to like, happy wife happy life, kind of a thing,
[00:54:08] and maybe went too far with it, and maybe now he finds himself in a position where he's like,
[00:54:13] he's just responding and doing everything that the wife says,
[00:54:16] and the wife doesn't seem happy, kind of a scenario.
[00:54:20] I feel like, with this attitude that, like, if you understand, 100% 100% not just like,
[00:54:27] hmm, my situation, sure, I guess I could kind of, if you understand 100% that you are,
[00:54:32] essentially, you have the responsibility to be the leader, and I'm not saying, be the boss.
[00:54:36] I'm not saying, it always feels like that ends up being absolutely correct,
[00:54:43] as far as solving any problems with any interpersonal relationship.
[00:54:48] So, let me just restate your, your comment there.
[00:54:53] What you're saying is no matter where I am in a relationship, in a platoon, in a business, in a marriage,
[00:55:01] if my attitude is, I'm in a leadership position, I'm going to lead through this problem.
[00:55:08] The sign that leader is going to be a positive thing.
[00:55:11] Yes, sir. Yeah, you are correct. Absolutely.
[00:55:14] That's why at Ashland Front, that's why we say leadership is the solution.
[00:55:18] And it doesn't matter what the problem is.
[00:55:20] Yeah.
[00:55:22] Wife's not happy, leadership problem. On me, by the way, on me.
[00:55:27] Now, look, could can you occasionally get a miserable scenario where, oh, the wife is,
[00:55:35] well, there's probably, and actually what you end up there is, if you break that down from a leadership perspective,
[00:55:40] you're probably not aligned in your marriage.
[00:55:43] Because that's the one kind of killer.
[00:55:47] There's one, that's one killer.
[00:55:49] So, when I say leadership is a solution, leadership is a solution, all your problems.
[00:55:54] There's one problem that leadership is the solution for, but you're not going to solve the problem.
[00:56:00] That is alignment. That is, we are not going to the same place.
[00:56:04] So, if your business partner is going in one direction, like two different place, and you're going in another direction,
[00:56:13] and it's a different place, you're going to have a really, you won't be able to make decisions that are unified.
[00:56:20] If your wife, you know, if your wife wants to, you know, have 20 kids, and you don't want to have any,
[00:56:32] you're not going to be able to work it out.
[00:56:35] You're not working that out.
[00:56:37] You are heading to a different place. You're going to a different world.
[00:56:41] You're going to two totally different places.
[00:56:44] Vice versus true, too. You want to, wait, what do I say? Your wife wants to, when it gets, if it's the opposite, it's the same thing.
[00:56:50] You want to have 20 kids, your wife doesn't have any. You're going to have a problem.
[00:56:54] It's going to be a difficult situation. You're probably, you're not aligned.
[00:56:58] If one person wants to have a software company, and I want to, you know, you and I start designing a little computer game thing.
[00:57:08] And then you say, hey, we should, we start building these in a factory after we make three of them by ourselves.
[00:57:15] And I say, no, let's just contract somebody that we should just make the software.
[00:57:19] And you, no, no, we should make the hardware. And I say, no, we should make the software.
[00:57:22] And if you and I can't agree, we're heading to two different places.
[00:57:25] We're going to have two different companies and you need to go do yours, 90 to go do mine.
[00:57:29] So where leadership plays, and that is, I need to be able to identify where are we actually going?
[00:57:35] What is our goal? And here's the thing, in most companies, you can find the line.
[00:57:40] That's why people say, we're not aligned. I go, hold on a minute. Oh, you got a company.
[00:57:44] You know, you got acme freaking mouse traps, right?
[00:57:48] Yeah, mouse traps.
[00:57:49] Echo's got acme mouse traps. And he says, oh, people on my team aren't aligned.
[00:57:53] Okay, what do they not want to be able to make money?
[00:57:56] No, of course they want to make money. Do they do they, does everyone on the team want to make money?
[00:58:00] Yes, everyone on the team wants to make money. Does everybody on the team want to make a good mouse trap?
[00:58:04] Yes, everybody on the team wants to make a good mouse trap. Does everyone on the serve the client? Yes.
[00:58:08] Because if we serve the client, we'll sell them mouse traps.
[00:58:11] So you can usually, you take any company.
[00:58:15] And most of the, the 90, this is a big percentage.
[00:58:18] 99% of the time, there's alignment. And in rare one percent, we're not aligned.
[00:58:26] And you actually don't want to make mouse traps.
[00:58:30] Or you don't want to manufacture mouse traps. Let's say, I want to build a factory in manufactured mouse traps.
[00:58:35] And all you want to do is market them.
[00:58:37] And you don't want any of this factory stuff. You don't want to hire a bunch of people.
[00:58:40] You just want to get them shipped from overseas. You're not going to have a problem.
[00:58:43] We're not aligned.
[00:58:45] I want to build a manufacturing company. You want to build a marketing company.
[00:58:49] And we're adamant about it. Now look, we might be able to find the linemen and say, hey, you know what?
[00:58:55] If we build manufacture them and then you market them well, we kind of on the same page.
[00:59:00] Yeah.
[00:59:02] But if your true goal is not to manufacture anything and my true goal is to, we're going to have a problem.
[00:59:07] So alignment is.
[00:59:11] One of the most critical things there are in order to get there. Guess what? I got to listen what you have to say.
[00:59:17] Yep.
[00:59:19] And if we're not aligned, we're going to have a problem.
[00:59:23] So we got to pay attention to that.
[00:59:25] And this brings me to the last thing I wanted to talk about today.
[00:59:29] And this is something you know of.
[00:59:32] I probably used it. I've probably focused on it a little bit more a few years ago.
[00:59:37] We're going to have a simple statement that you'll recognize when I say this, free your mind.
[00:59:41] Right. We had, we did all kinds of things.
[00:59:43] I said, free your mind. I'm decasing like post like free your mind.
[00:59:47] Sure.
[00:59:47] Because our mind or minds tend to have a tendency to be closed.
[00:59:53] And not just to be closed, but to be closing.
[00:59:57] So that's the way our human minds are in general.
[01:00:02] They tend to be closed and closing.
[01:00:05] So they're already closed up and they're trying to close even more.
[01:00:08] Why is that? Well, it's safer.
[01:00:10] Yeah.
[01:00:11] It's easier.
[01:00:13] I'm not learning anything.
[01:00:15] There's no risk. There's nothing to misunderstand.
[01:00:18] It's just easier across the board if I just close up my mind.
[01:00:21] I don't have to accept anything, no.
[01:00:22] I'm safe here.
[01:00:23] I'm used to it.
[01:00:24] We also have our ego involved.
[01:00:29] And our ego is keeping that mind shut.
[01:00:33] Because I don't want to have to admit that I'm wrong.
[01:00:36] I don't want to have to tell anybody else that they're right.
[01:00:41] I don't want to look like I don't know all the answers.
[01:00:45] So I stay in my own little world.
[01:00:48] He looks like, oh, I'm a boxer.
[01:00:50] So I'm not going to do GJ2.
[01:00:52] Remember those days?
[01:00:54] Like, no, boxing or, oh, you trying to take me out.
[01:00:56] I'm just going to knock you out.
[01:00:57] Remember those days?
[01:00:58] Yeah.
[01:00:59] That gets crazy.
[01:01:00] Talk now.
[01:01:01] Well, I don't have to learn GJ2. I'll just knock you out.
[01:01:03] Okay. How'd that work out, bro?
[01:01:06] But that's a close mind.
[01:01:09] And that's ego.
[01:01:10] Thinking, oh, I don't need to learn anything new.
[01:01:12] I have all the answers.
[01:01:14] Oh, I got that uppercut.
[01:01:16] Son.
[01:01:17] And no, look, I love boxing.
[01:01:19] Boxing is an awesome form of self defense
[01:01:21] that everybody should learn out of box.
[01:01:22] You should absolutely learn out of box.
[01:01:24] There's two, you know, your fists are great weapons.
[01:01:28] You should also learn more about it.
[01:01:30] You should also learn wrestling.
[01:01:31] Because you got to be able to.
[01:01:32] So you see where I'm going with this.
[01:01:34] But there was a time where
[01:01:37] strikers, boxers, kickboxers would say, oh, I don't need to learn GJ2.
[01:01:38] Because I'll just knock you out.
[01:01:40] And that was just arrogance and ego.
[01:01:42] And part of it is also might have been just ignorance.
[01:01:45] Not just arrogance, but ignorance.
[01:01:47] Yeah.
[01:01:48] Because, because, because you think, oh, someone's going to charge it.
[01:01:50] Me, I'll just knock him out.
[01:01:51] And I think that's what I think.
[01:01:53] And that's what I think.
[01:01:54] And that's what I think.
[01:01:55] And that's what I think.
[01:01:56] And that's what I think.
[01:01:57] And that's what I think.
[01:01:58] And you're going to charge it.
[01:01:59] Me, I'll just knock him out.
[01:02:00] Yeah, man, it's so much harder than you think.
[01:02:02] Yeah, I'm sure there was a lot to that.
[01:02:04] There was, there's a thing called sunk cost, palace.
[01:02:07] Oh, for sure.
[01:02:08] For sure.
[01:02:09] So yeah, and that's what Horyn Gracie, one of the good founders of GJ2.
[01:02:13] That's what he would say.
[01:02:15] Where it's like, it's a, it's a painful realization.
[01:02:18] When you realize that you spent 20, sometimes 30 years at this,
[01:02:22] an effortful, just hard work.
[01:02:25] Yeah.
[01:02:26] You know, it's hard.
[01:02:27] And then without it being proved to you, like, you're not going to admit that it was a mistake.
[01:02:31] You just can't do it.
[01:02:32] You have too much invested in it.
[01:02:34] You know, yeah, that was, that was a very, you want to talk about a very hard thing to have happened to you.
[01:02:42] Yeah.
[01:02:43] Is you've been training whatever martial art, whatever.
[01:02:46] And they used this today to use the term traditional martial art.
[01:02:49] Yes.
[01:02:50] So you've been training a traditional martial art.
[01:02:52] Take your pick for 24 years.
[01:02:54] And like you said, hard training.
[01:02:56] You've memorized the cada.
[01:02:58] You've done the drills.
[01:03:00] You've done the, the sparring even.
[01:03:05] Yeah.
[01:03:06] And then, so you're, you're 20 years deep, 25 years deep.
[01:03:09] You've competed even.
[01:03:11] You've competed.
[01:03:12] And you've, you've knocked people out.
[01:03:14] And stuff.
[01:03:15] And you've won.
[01:03:16] You've been at champ and all these things.
[01:03:18] And then all of a sudden someone comes in and says,
[01:03:21] No, that's going to work.
[01:03:23] Yeah.
[01:03:24] And by the way, it's, it's going to work.
[01:03:26] What I do is going to work 10 times out of 10.
[01:03:30] But that's what, that's what my percentages are.
[01:03:32] So you're a, you're a, you're a boxer.
[01:03:35] And how much is your just your guy?
[01:03:37] I'm going to take you down and choke you 10 times in a row.
[01:03:41] It seems unbelievable.
[01:03:42] Right.
[01:03:43] They go a hundred times.
[01:03:44] Maybe someone gets a, gets a putters chance.
[01:03:46] Someone gets knocked out, right?
[01:03:48] But I can, I can,
[01:03:50] Law of averages say you're a hundred percent boxer.
[01:03:53] And I'm a jiu-jitsu guy.
[01:03:55] 10 times out of 10.
[01:03:56] So if you, you and I got okay.
[01:03:58] Cool.
[01:03:58] Let's go again.
[01:03:59] You try and knock me out.
[01:04:00] You're getting taken down.
[01:04:01] You're getting choked.
[01:04:01] Let's go again.
[01:04:02] You're getting, you try and knock me out.
[01:04:03] You're going to get take down.
[01:04:04] Choked out.
[01:04:05] That's what's happening.
[01:04:06] So that was a really hard, hard fact to face.
[01:04:13] Yeah.
[01:04:14] And it happened to happen across the country as jiu-jitsu.
[01:04:16] Belts.
[01:04:17] Yeah.
[01:04:17] Blue belts were dough jostormy.
[01:04:19] Like walking into, walking into traditional martial arts studio.
[01:04:22] I'll take anybody in here.
[01:04:24] Yeah.
[01:04:25] And then double leg, double leg, you know, cross side.
[01:04:28] People even know what the guard was.
[01:04:29] It wasn't like they were getting in the guard.
[01:04:31] They were just mounting and choking.
[01:04:33] Yeah.
[01:04:34] Yeah.
[01:04:35] And that was kind of the,
[01:04:36] Especially, I mean, now this is different.
[01:04:38] Cause it totally different.
[01:04:39] Yeah.
[01:04:40] You know, like, yeah.
[01:04:41] And here's kind of, you know, it's kind of more the same.
[01:04:43] No, right?
[01:04:44] We're, we're okay.
[01:04:45] So you look at the UFC, right?
[01:04:46] The pinnacle of like now it is.
[01:04:48] Like now it is.
[01:04:49] It's not UFC one is different than UFC now.
[01:04:51] Oh.
[01:04:52] So UFC one was this art style versus style versus this style.
[01:04:57] Actually, you know what, you're right.
[01:04:59] It wasn't just style versus it was art versus art.
[01:05:02] Yeah.
[01:05:02] Because even in jiu-jitsu, we have different styles of jiu-jitsu.
[01:05:05] Yeah.
[01:05:06] So it was literally a jiu-jitsu practitioner against the boxer.
[01:05:10] Right.
[01:05:11] Or a wrestler against an Ikeedo guy.
[01:05:14] Yeah.
[01:05:15] Or whatever.
[01:05:16] You name it was art against art.
[01:05:17] And they didn't even really calculate the fact that there's a huge difference between
[01:05:21] somebody that wrestled in high school, somebody that wrestled in college and somebody that
[01:05:25] wrestled in Olympics.
[01:05:26] Or someone that did jiu-jitsu at the jiu-jitsu club, someone that did jiu-jitsu in college,
[01:05:32] and someone that did jiu-jitsu on the Olympic stage.
[01:05:35] There's a huge difference between the two.
[01:05:36] But they didn't really calculate that.
[01:05:37] Yeah.
[01:05:38] Not really.
[01:05:39] And I guess I'm just maybe speaking on what actually played itself out.
[01:05:43] Right.
[01:05:44] And for you, C1, there was Gracie in action.
[01:05:48] The Gracie in action tapes.
[01:05:49] Right.
[01:05:50] Which was essentially one and one challenge.
[01:05:52] I have James's James, if you're out there listening right now, have your Gracie in action tapes.
[01:05:57] Sorry.
[01:05:58] The James James.
[01:05:59] Where it's like, and if you don't know what that is, what it is essentially,
[01:06:02] guys would come in doubting this new jiu-jitsu thing.
[01:06:06] They were like, oh, I would beat them.
[01:06:08] You know?
[01:06:09] And the Gracie's they would say, yeah, you can come in challenge anyone of our guys or whatever.
[01:06:13] And then after so many people responded to that challenge, they started taping it.
[01:06:17] And they would just beat these guys up.
[01:06:19] Not bad.
[01:06:20] It wasn't a bully situation.
[01:06:21] It was literally like to prove to them that, hey, this way is better at fighting.
[01:06:24] That's it.
[01:06:25] It's not like, yeah, we're going to kill everyone or nothing like that.
[01:06:27] So just time after time or time.
[01:06:29] And then if you see it, you can see the guy.
[01:06:33] And this is on a bunch of them too, where the guy would be like, oh, like, almost like he's saying that didn't count.
[01:06:38] Yeah, that's true.
[01:06:39] But he didn't get it.
[01:06:40] Yeah.
[01:06:40] I have personally experienced that.
[01:06:42] Oh, yeah, that's the common thing.
[01:06:44] Yeah, I was lucky because I was doing GJ2 kind of like legitimately doing GJ2 before it was popular at all.
[01:06:51] Yeah.
[01:06:52] So I kind of had some of those Gracie and Action experiences where guys were just confused.
[01:06:57] Yeah.
[01:06:57] Like just legitimately.
[01:06:59] And I found that usually three or four submissions before they even start to comprehend what's happening.
[01:07:07] Like the first one they're just baffled.
[01:07:09] You know, you're going against the rest or you're going against a boxer.
[01:07:13] Ressers would get especially confused because it just didn't make sense.
[01:07:17] Or what just happened.
[01:07:18] Like a boxer, I guess a boxer would be so confused.
[01:07:21] They're like, wait, what are we doing on the ground?
[01:07:24] What?
[01:07:25] Why am I down there?
[01:07:26] Is this fighting?
[01:07:27] This isn't fighting.
[01:07:28] How can you knock me out when we're, oh, they just, you just got your on bro.
[01:07:31] Or you just got tapped out.
[01:07:32] Resslers would be, it would be confusing to them because they don't even understand how
[01:07:38] these body positions that they've learned and that they've won.
[01:07:42] And that they seem to have so much control of us on.
[01:07:44] They're not working and they're getting tapped out.
[01:07:47] But yeah.
[01:07:48] So like the first submission is total disbelief.
[01:07:50] They're like, it's confusion and disbelief.
[01:07:53] And then okay, let's go again.
[01:07:55] Because they think, oh, I, I will keep my, I won't let them grab my own.
[01:07:59] Yeah.
[01:08:00] Exactly.
[01:08:01] And they don't let you grab the arm and then you choke them.
[01:08:03] Yeah.
[01:08:04] And that's how, how boring describes it.
[01:08:06] And then, um, in those, a lot of those videos is, it's like you can't, they can accept it.
[01:08:10] Right.
[01:08:11] So they're, so they'll be like, oh wait, I just need to go harder.
[01:08:13] Like I, maybe, it was taking me to easy on him.
[01:08:16] Maybe I have to focus a little bit more.
[01:08:18] Yeah.
[01:08:19] Go faster.
[01:08:20] Go harder.
[01:08:21] Yeah.
[01:08:21] Exactly.
[01:08:22] Right.
[01:08:22] Um, but just like I said, if you don't know, you just, if you don't know,
[01:08:26] you don't know the positions, you just sort on the ground.
[01:08:28] Like you don't know.
[01:08:29] Like even, like the difference between garden and half garden.
[01:08:31] If you don't know what any of that even is, there's no difference.
[01:08:34] No, there's no difference in garden mountain.
[01:08:36] Nothing. There's no difference.
[01:08:37] You will not remember.
[01:08:38] You have no difference.
[01:08:39] If you're on the bottom of your remember versus if you're not on the bottom.
[01:08:41] Okay. There is that.
[01:08:42] But in Gigi to that part doesn't matter as much.
[01:08:44] It seems like so backwards almost if you know Gigi to versus if you, if you, if you don't.
[01:08:49] So these guys would be just confused the whole time.
[01:08:52] And then all of a sudden they're getting choked and then if you don't know how it happens,
[01:08:55] you just like, oh, we just sort of wound up like that.
[01:08:57] So it seems kind of like a lucky position.
[01:08:59] You fell on the ground.
[01:09:00] It was a scrambled boy.
[01:09:01] And just like, you know, ended up that way.
[01:09:03] Meaning what meanwhile since they know they knew Gigi to their methodically, specifically placing these guys in this position,
[01:09:10] then this position, then this position, then they can choke.
[01:09:12] And they do it every like one time after another after another.
[01:09:15] And then finally the guy accepts it.
[01:09:17] No, and this is back in the Gracian actually this.
[01:09:20] So you have to see one.
[01:09:21] You don't have that luxury to be like, hey, let's do it again.
[01:09:24] Yeah.
[01:09:24] But still nobody knew what was going on.
[01:09:26] What was happening.
[01:09:27] Now keep in mind the difference between back then and today is back then, no, no, Gigi to that all.
[01:09:31] They only knew their karate.
[01:09:33] They only knew their, you know, kickboxing.
[01:09:35] They only knew their art.
[01:09:37] Now everyone knows everything.
[01:09:39] Yeah.
[01:09:39] It's totally.
[01:09:40] In one way or another, like if you say, hey, show me mount.
[01:09:42] Probably because of course mount.
[01:09:43] That's basic.
[01:09:44] Everyone knows their mount.
[01:09:45] I don't think this can be literally a karate guy.
[01:09:47] Yeah.
[01:09:47] Like remember Leo to Machita, right?
[01:09:49] When I was like, oh, see, karate does work and all the karate guys were like,
[01:09:52] yeah, for we were saying this for years, we always knew karate or
[01:09:55] the brother Leo to Machita's back.
[01:09:56] Yeah.
[01:09:57] And he's probably black, well, leveling up a bunch of other things.
[01:10:00] You know, so it's just a different landscape.
[01:10:02] That's not the proving ground from four art versus art anymore.
[01:10:06] Yes.
[01:10:06] It's different.
[01:10:07] Well, even I just made people mad just now.
[01:10:10] Three minutes ago when I said, well, a boxer against the G, there's still some people out there
[01:10:16] that are like, bro, just knock this dude out.
[01:10:18] He came in on me.
[01:10:19] There's still people like that right now, even having the, the incredible vast source of knowledge.
[01:10:24] And again, I love boxing.
[01:10:26] Everyone should train boxing.
[01:10:28] 100% boxing is a brutal martial art.
[01:10:32] And it's an incredible martial art.
[01:10:36] But if you're a pure boxer and you're going up against the G,
[01:10:40] you're going to get choked out.
[01:10:42] I regret to inform you.
[01:10:44] So here's the thing.
[01:10:47] This is why I talk about opening up your mind.
[01:10:51] Because even when you choke someone, their mind doesn't want to open up.
[01:10:56] Then you unlock them.
[01:10:58] Their mind doesn't want to open up.
[01:11:00] Then you foot lock them.
[01:11:02] Their mind still, but they're still thinking like what you're saying.
[01:11:04] They're still like, no.
[01:11:05] They're mind.
[01:11:06] This is such a good example of how people's minds,
[01:11:09] how all of our minds wants to be closed.
[01:11:12] Because our ego is keeping it shut.
[01:11:15] We want to be in that safe area.
[01:11:17] We've got the sunk costs and what we've already done and what we already believe.
[01:11:21] And that is a problem.
[01:11:23] It's a problem for the world.
[01:11:26] So what we have to do and I've been explaining this to people,
[01:11:31] at S.L.M.Fron, I've been explaining this to people.
[01:11:34] We actually have to pry open our minds.
[01:11:37] We have to pry open our minds.
[01:11:40] You have to force yourself to listen.
[01:11:44] You have to force yourself, not just to listen,
[01:11:45] but to actually hear what other people are saying.
[01:11:49] You have to force yourself to consider other ideas.
[01:11:54] And honestly, the way that I force myself to consider other ideas is I want to use your idea.
[01:12:00] That's my goal.
[01:12:01] My goal is I want echo to be right.
[01:12:04] When echo says, hey, I've got a plan for how to do this,
[01:12:07] my goal is to say, that sounds good.
[01:12:10] Let's use your plan.
[01:12:12] How can I help you make this work?
[01:12:14] When my subordinate comes to me with a plan and says, hey,
[01:12:17] jockel, this is what I think we should do.
[01:12:19] My goal is to use it.
[01:12:21] When you present an idea to me about politics or music or a video,
[01:12:28] my goal is to say, okay, how can I be on board with what you just said?
[01:12:34] How can I support you?
[01:12:37] And that's what I do to try and pry my brain open
[01:12:42] because our minds are naturally closed and they are closing.
[01:12:48] So even when your mind gets open up a little bit,
[01:12:50] it's still trying to close back up.
[01:12:52] That's what it's trying to do.
[01:12:54] It's pride opening it closes back up.
[01:12:56] That's what it's trying to do.
[01:12:57] We have to work very hard to pride open and then keep it open to new ideas.
[01:13:02] You know, like we in regards to like,
[01:13:05] we using the other person's plan or like pursuing that as a way.
[01:13:10] How does that, oh, should I say, how does that just a,
[01:13:15] you know, because you know how sometimes it again,
[01:13:17] I'm thinking about maybe with your friends when you're young or with your wife or something.
[01:13:20] And so I say, hey, what are we doing for dinner or where are we going to go eat?
[01:13:23] And then I say, I don't know where do you want to go?
[01:13:24] I don't know where you want to go.
[01:13:25] You get that scenario to happen sometimes, right?
[01:13:28] So how do you reconcile using the other person's plan in general versus
[01:13:33] making the decision yourself kind of a scenario?
[01:13:37] You know, I mean, look, just like anything, there's a back caught of me.
[01:13:41] And if I say to my wife, where do you want to go to for dinner?
[01:13:43] And she says, I don't care where do you want to go?
[01:13:46] And I say, oh, I'm actually open for anything.
[01:13:48] I had a late lunch or not that hungry.
[01:13:50] And I know you have an eating today.
[01:13:51] So whatever you want, it's good with me.
[01:13:53] And then she says, no, I, you make the call.
[01:13:56] Right.
[01:13:57] I mean, how long may you do that for?
[01:13:58] First, I say, cool.
[01:13:59] Sounds like we're going to raglands.
[01:14:00] Right.
[01:14:01] And then she's going to go, I didn't want that.
[01:14:04] Okay, cool. What did you want then?
[01:14:05] I actually wanted whatever.
[01:14:07] So would it be, in a based off that hypothetical scenario, would it be actually even
[01:14:13] Wiser to have not just maybe like three to four different options?
[01:14:18] Maybe pre contemplated that kind of follow her into just a little bit too.
[01:14:24] Yeah.
[01:14:25] Yeah.
[01:14:26] You know, you can, you can, she's wanting to make you feel like it was your call.
[01:14:34] So then you just say, hey, how about we go to whatever.
[01:14:38] The place that you know she likes and she goes, oh, okay, that'd be great.
[01:14:41] Cool. What did I, we're good?
[01:14:42] Yes.
[01:14:43] No big deal.
[01:14:44] So let me go on.
[01:14:44] Because I feel like I'm going to read that much into this.
[01:14:46] What don't I don't make this into that big of a deal?
[01:14:48] Well, I feel like it kind of can be sometimes.
[01:14:50] That's the thing.
[01:14:51] It definitely can be.
[01:14:52] And not so much the restaurant thing.
[01:14:54] I'm saying in general.
[01:14:55] So like, you know how, okay, so here's the commenting in my household,
[01:14:59] where, you know, it becomes four,
[01:15:02] thirty, five o'clock.
[01:15:04] Right. So here comes Mrs. Charles saying, hey, what are you thinking for dinner?
[01:15:08] Now, usually that's your jam usually she kind of, hey, I'm thinking this for dinner.
[01:15:13] I'm always pretty much always like good, you know why?
[01:15:16] Because I don't have any preference. I don't want to make that decision.
[01:15:20] I'm thinking about other stuff to be honest.
[01:15:22] Is it a big deal?
[01:15:23] No, it's not a big deal.
[01:15:24] But I am thinking about this stuff.
[01:15:25] Yeah.
[01:15:25] It makes it a lot easier for my brain.
[01:15:27] His feet wasn't maybe to not have to make that decision.
[01:15:31] Right.
[01:15:32] Now, I do understand that sometimes she's in that same boat too,
[01:15:35] because she was thinking about a lot of stuff and sometimes not all the time.
[01:15:38] Actually, not mostly time, but sometimes she doesn't want to make that decision as well.
[01:15:42] She'll make that dinner.
[01:15:44] Yeah.
[01:15:45] But she doesn't have to think something up that everyone's going to like, and I understand.
[01:15:49] Right.
[01:15:50] So that's the thing.
[01:15:51] It can be a thing.
[01:15:52] So sometimes people do just want you to make the decision.
[01:15:55] Cool.
[01:15:56] You make one.
[01:15:57] See, no big deal.
[01:15:58] Yeah.
[01:15:58] That's what I was saying.
[01:15:59] You got to tell me.
[01:16:01] You got to tell me.
[01:16:02] You got to tell me.
[01:16:03] I hate to go this hard to spread this much time, but like,
[01:16:06] if my wife says to me,
[01:16:09] well, no where do you want to go?
[01:16:11] Yeah.
[01:16:12] And I say where I actually want to go.
[01:16:14] Yeah.
[01:16:15] And she doesn't want to go there.
[01:16:16] I'm going to just look at her face and be like, Oh, that's a bad call.
[01:16:20] So I'm probably going to say, actually, I feel like going to name one of her three
[01:16:23] favorite restaurants and then we're going to go.
[01:16:25] There you go.
[01:16:26] But then take some pre-contemplation.
[01:16:28] I don't know.
[01:16:29] I really don't have like a bunch of different restaurants.
[01:16:31] And you're either one of us doesn't have some big list.
[01:16:34] You know, some good to look at.
[01:16:35] The funny thing about my wife is she'll be like, she'll, she'll stray from the,
[01:16:42] from the lesson learned, which the lesson learned to me is the lesson learned to me is,
[01:16:47] I'm going to a restaurant that I already know that I already know.
[01:16:50] I'm going to get what I already know.
[01:16:52] Like, that's what I'm doing.
[01:16:54] Yeah.
[01:16:55] I'm going to the restaurant that I know.
[01:16:56] I'm going to get what I already know.
[01:16:57] My wife will sometimes wish he needs a re-learning lesson, which is, oh, she want to try this new place.
[01:17:04] So I'm going to a new place with her.
[01:17:06] And then as soon as she takes her first bite of the main course, she's looking at me like lesson learned again.
[01:17:12] Right?
[01:17:13] Because that's face it.
[01:17:14] Now occasionally, do you find a winner?
[01:17:16] Like a certain restaurant to put in the mix?
[01:17:19] Sure.
[01:17:20] Can find that new restaurant to put in the mix?
[01:17:22] What is that word?
[01:17:23] What do you mean?
[01:17:24] What do you mean?
[01:17:25] That's what I'm saying, whatever, like that's not true. Because it's probably true.
[01:17:27] But I'm saying, what do you mean it's probably true?
[01:17:29] It is.
[01:17:30] How often do you go to restaurant?
[01:17:31] You're like, oh, wow, put this one in the mix.
[01:17:33] Me?
[01:17:34] I don't know.
[01:17:35] I don't know.
[01:17:36] But that's true.
[01:17:37] You just be going 100 to restaurants.
[01:17:38] You have a list of 100 to restaurants that you be going to all the time.
[01:17:41] Because every restaurant you go to, just in the mix now.
[01:17:44] Yeah.
[01:17:44] To me, all sushi restaurants with the exception of two are in the mix.
[01:17:48] Yeah, it's true.
[01:17:49] But my point is, is it the whole gone, hold on.
[01:17:51] There is there a hierarchy?
[01:17:52] Yes.
[01:17:53] See?
[01:17:54] So why would you not go on a top three to five at the most?
[01:17:58] Oh, there's, there's the hierarchy isn't based on like how good it is.
[01:18:03] Oh, then it's based on other stuff.
[01:18:04] It's based on the house.
[01:18:06] Exactly.
[01:18:07] Delivery, maybe some price scenarios and all this stuff.
[01:18:10] That's how the hierarchy is based.
[01:18:11] Okay. So the hierarchy's there.
[01:18:12] So why are you playing around online?
[01:18:13] Because that's not the point.
[01:18:14] The point isn't what I do specifically.
[01:18:16] That's the only way.
[01:18:17] You do specifically.
[01:18:18] Because we're both in unique situations.
[01:18:20] I think I'm saying, generally, it is.
[01:18:22] You don't think there's other dudes out there that go out for dinner with her wife.
[01:18:26] Sometimes that makes us unique.
[01:18:27] Oh, that part is unique.
[01:18:28] Okay. What's unique?
[01:18:29] The part that you freaking, you got to wonder,
[01:18:31] I'm sure on in your wife is that certain way that's,
[01:18:34] I think the typical person is more to it than that.
[01:18:38] That's what I think.
[01:18:39] You know, I know that I'm not normal.
[01:18:41] Right?
[01:18:42] I know.
[01:18:43] So I know that it's not normal to just be like,
[01:18:45] Oh, I want to go to the same three restaurants over and over again.
[01:18:49] And get the same exact food by the way.
[01:18:51] I do the same thing.
[01:18:52] There's so rare that I have the,
[01:18:54] I can't even remember the last time I fought to myself.
[01:18:57] Oh, it'd be great to go out and try something new.
[01:18:59] Okay.
[01:19:00] So there's probably some psychologists doing an assessment right now as I'm talking and figuring out,
[01:19:04] like, oh, he's got fear of whatever.
[01:19:07] And I don't think so.
[01:19:09] I think I just, when I'm going to go out and I'm going to invest,
[01:19:12] like, I don't want to get in the car.
[01:19:14] I don't want to drive somewhere.
[01:19:15] I don't want to go wait.
[01:19:16] I don't want to put on shoes or whatever.
[01:19:19] Yeah, rather just be careful.
[01:19:20] Yeah, rather just be careful.
[01:19:21] Careful, right?
[01:19:22] So why are we doing this?
[01:19:23] Well, we're doing this because whatever.
[01:19:26] It's, it's a good night.
[01:19:27] You know, my wife doesn't feel like whatever.
[01:19:29] We didn't, whatever.
[01:19:30] She doesn't feel like whatever.
[01:19:31] Okay.
[01:19:32] So we're going to go out somewhere.
[01:19:33] So I'm going to go somewhere that I know.
[01:19:35] Yeah.
[01:19:36] That's cool.
[01:19:37] And I get something that I already know.
[01:19:38] I could feel you for him.
[01:19:39] It's unusable for the typical person is what I'm saying.
[01:19:41] Hey, let me ask you this because I don't eat sushi.
[01:19:43] How much variance is there in one of the sushi quality?
[01:19:47] Yeah.
[01:19:48] Yeah, big variety.
[01:19:50] So bro, how can you say that you're not like you got your top three?
[01:19:54] Because the variance, I don't care that much about you.
[01:19:56] Okay, how often are you like, oh cool.
[01:19:58] There's another one over here.
[01:19:59] Let's go, let's go order from that one.
[01:20:01] We've never been to before.
[01:20:03] Not for the purpose of that it's new.
[01:20:05] So I agree with you in that scenario.
[01:20:07] But this is what I am saying, though, where let's say, okay, have you ever heard of the
[01:20:13] concept, the idea?
[01:20:14] And then you have, by the way, of someone's a head of the way.
[01:20:17] Someone's, hey, let's try something new.
[01:20:19] Hey, we always go there.
[01:20:20] That's why it's all right.
[01:20:21] That's my wife all day.
[01:20:22] That's a lot of people's wives.
[01:20:23] And that's my point.
[01:20:24] So sometimes they want to try something new.
[01:20:27] But sometimes they don't want that beef over that decision.
[01:20:30] They want you to make the decision.
[01:20:31] Oh, yeah.
[01:20:32] So sometimes just for the, just for the sake of it,
[01:20:36] just to get some leadership capital going.
[01:20:38] Yes.
[01:20:38] Hey, let's try something new.
[01:20:39] We went to a joint the other day that was new.
[01:20:41] I know what?
[01:20:42] It was all, by what?
[01:20:44] My wife was all excited.
[01:20:45] And we did, like we got in a car.
[01:20:47] It drove somewhere.
[01:20:48] Okay.
[01:20:49] And she was, he, he, man.
[01:20:51] He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
[01:20:54] Everybody's all excited.
[01:20:55] So, see what he, he, he, he, on this, right?
[01:20:57] And I'm like, okay, so we went up there.
[01:20:59] And we got in there.
[01:21:00] It was like, it was, uh, it, and it was fine.
[01:21:04] And now we're driving back after finding parking.
[01:21:08] After driving up there, finding parking.
[01:21:10] Getting sat down, you know, figuring out the menu and, and you were driving, now we,
[01:21:16] now we drive home.
[01:21:18] And I'm like, do you ever want to go back to?
[01:21:20] She's like, no.
[01:21:21] Yeah.
[01:21:22] So think about that.
[01:21:23] But that doesn't mean that it was, it's a bad way to think.
[01:21:25] Venture.
[01:21:26] Right.
[01:21:27] So basically, you're hitting me.
[01:21:28] What you're hitting me with is I need to open my mind.
[01:21:30] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's true.
[01:21:40] You should use that as a flank.
[01:21:42] It was like me, right?
[01:21:43] Tell me, Jocco, you know what you just need to open your mind.
[01:21:45] You need to pry your brain open and get some more different food.
[01:21:48] Okay.
[01:21:48] Well, I, at this point of my life, I'm very uncomfortable telling you what you should do to.
[01:21:53] I need help.
[01:21:58] I'll call.
[01:22:01] They know my phone number.
[01:22:03] I'm sure.
[01:22:04] I said, I want this.
[01:22:05] I want this one.
[01:22:06] And they're like, yeah, like, they know like, oh, no, keep it.
[01:22:08] Come on.
[01:22:09] They, they know the thing.
[01:22:10] In fact, there was a new girl there.
[01:22:12] She's not doing anymore.
[01:22:13] Mm-hmm.
[01:22:14] Shout out to Jocelyn, by the way.
[01:22:15] Um, and she'd be like, oh, uh, she took my order.
[01:22:18] Got it wrong.
[01:22:19] The sushi chef got it right on his own.
[01:22:21] Mm-hmm.
[01:22:22] That's how, saying like, you made it.
[01:22:24] No, we're all because of that.
[01:22:25] But he said that with a lot of pride, bro.
[01:22:28] You're like, oh, a lot of pride.
[01:22:29] That is not the point.
[01:22:30] The point is, I'm with you on the whole.
[01:22:33] I go the same spot and get the exact same thing every single time.
[01:22:36] 100%.
[01:22:37] My question was with you answered by the way with your, your, uh, your anecdote is sometimes.
[01:22:44] You sure, as a tradition, not traditional.
[01:22:49] As a silent leader, you want to go with the other person's plan.
[01:22:53] But sometimes they don't want that beef of you coming coming up with a plan.
[01:22:57] So you're going to have to plan the plan.
[01:22:58] If I can't, and it better not be the same exact plan sometimes.
[01:23:01] But she's the thing.
[01:23:02] My wife knows that if she asked me for a plan, she knows what we're going.
[01:23:06] Where is going to, you know, we're in a raglan.
[01:23:08] What up?
[01:23:09] But hey, here's the other thing.
[01:23:10] We already talked about this.
[01:23:11] I have to calculate the emotions in the situation.
[01:23:15] Yes sir.
[01:23:16] So if my wife's like, oh, you know, it's been a long week.
[01:23:19] I really just want to do something nice tonight.
[01:23:21] You know what that means?
[01:23:22] Yeah, I mean, she wants to like go to somewhere.
[01:23:24] Maybe we haven't been for big risk for me.
[01:23:26] Yes sir.
[01:23:27] I know it.
[01:23:28] I got to calculate my my emotions, which can be controlled.
[01:23:30] Her emotions, which I can't control.
[01:23:33] But also, but also, but also, but also, I'm going to look at it and say, oh, my wife is probably going to be excited if we go to a new venue that we haven't been before.
[01:23:47] So she's going to be, it's going to be a positive emotion for I put that in the calculus.
[01:23:51] I also have to put in the calculus.
[01:23:52] Like, I had my week was good.
[01:23:53] I'm not that busy.
[01:23:54] Whatever.
[01:23:55] Okay cool.
[01:23:56] I got some time tonight.
[01:23:57] I'm not going to be mad.
[01:23:58] So cool.
[01:23:59] Oh yeah, it's a good night to roll down there.
[01:24:01] And also, if the calculus is, my wife's going to be super happy.
[01:24:05] And I'm going to be super angry.
[01:24:06] That's no factor.
[01:24:07] Because I can just be like, cool.
[01:24:08] I'm just going to enforce myself to have a good time and no factor.
[01:24:11] So I'm not going to, I'm not going to let it dictate, but I have to calculate the emotions on both sides.
[01:24:16] My emotions in the calculus, barely count.
[01:24:20] I'm going to say that again.
[01:24:22] My emotions in the calculus barely count.
[01:24:24] And I don't hold the grudge.
[01:24:26] I don't mope around that night.
[01:24:28] I don't go to restaurants and say, see, I told you, no.
[01:24:31] My emotions barely count.
[01:24:33] What counts is my wife's emotions.
[01:24:35] Or my employees' emotions.
[01:24:36] Or my boss' emotions.
[01:24:38] I have control over my emotions.
[01:24:40] Therefore, they have very little, little say in the calculus.
[01:24:46] I think I get it now.
[01:24:48] For real. Okay. Okay.
[01:24:50] It's correct me from wrong.
[01:24:52] Because it's pretty, if I got this correctly, I'm talking out and make sure I got it.
[01:24:56] That was pretty genius.
[01:24:58] I think what you just kind of demonstrated.
[01:25:00] Okay. So in my scenario, I put that up anyway.
[01:25:03] Where?
[01:25:05] My wife wants to go somewhere new.
[01:25:08] But she doesn't want to think about where to go.
[01:25:10] She doesn't want to make the decision.
[01:25:11] She doesn't want to figure it out.
[01:25:12] She wants me to go.
[01:25:13] Even though I might not even want to go somewhere new.
[01:25:15] Or maybe I do, but I'm for sure.
[01:25:17] Now, don't they just go one level deeper?
[01:25:19] That's too conflicting.
[01:25:21] Plans right there.
[01:25:22] Isn't it? Because her plan is do something new without having to make the decision.
[01:25:26] That's the plan.
[01:25:27] Okay.
[01:25:28] So it's like, hey, let's go with that plan.
[01:25:29] As opposed to my plan would be like, no, we'll go to the same spot.
[01:25:32] Or no, I don't want to go.
[01:25:33] That would be my plan.
[01:25:34] Okay.
[01:25:35] So essentially, you just went one level deeper where the decision to make the decision is part of the plan.
[01:25:41] That's the decision.
[01:25:42] Yeah.
[01:25:43] Exactly.
[01:25:43] So you go with the plan.
[01:25:44] I'm making a decision on a new place.
[01:25:46] I'm making a plan.
[01:25:47] Yeah.
[01:25:47] So it's a win-win.
[01:25:48] That's what we're doing here.
[01:25:50] Yeah.
[01:25:50] Yeah.
[01:25:51] Yeah.
[01:25:52] That's like coming to the top of the scene.
[01:25:54] That stuff all works out at the end.
[01:25:56] That's the way it all is it's all a unified theory.
[01:26:01] It's a unified, you know what a unified theory is?
[01:26:03] It's like a theory of everything.
[01:26:05] Yeah.
[01:26:06] All the stuff that I'm talking about.
[01:26:07] It's a unified theory.
[01:26:08] And if you pull the thread on it, it'll be like, oh.
[01:26:10] Yeah.
[01:26:11] So you are executing her plan.
[01:26:13] That her plan was to have you come up with the plan.
[01:26:16] Okay.
[01:26:17] So let me just add a new restaurant.
[01:26:18] This is me echo telling you, Jocco this.
[01:26:22] Oh, um, the member, how I said like the number one most valuable thing, not the only one.
[01:26:28] The number one most valuable thing, not the only one.
[01:26:29] The number one most valuable thing that I learned from the, essentially, the long game versus the short game and how that's in play.
[01:26:34] Okay.
[01:26:35] So the updated version of that, which happened to a while ago as well, which it might be just more of the same really.
[01:26:40] But basically it goes like this, a more unified expression.
[01:26:44] I'll say.
[01:26:46] In life and everything you do, whatever pretty much, there's going to be a short game being played and a long game being played.
[01:26:52] Most people that default to the short game, for sure.
[01:26:54] But it's going to be short game.
[01:26:56] There's going to be long game.
[01:26:57] There's also with everyday interactions with everything you do.
[01:27:00] There's going to be a small picture.
[01:27:01] And then there's going to be a big picture.
[01:27:03] And I think that bigger picture, like that was an example of like just look at it one level bigger.
[01:27:09] It's like, you can't, we're not going with her plan to what restaurant it is.
[01:27:14] The decision for the restaurant is part of her plan.
[01:27:18] Yeah.
[01:27:19] Yeah.
[01:27:20] And just just kind of FYI, saying the big picture and saying long term and saying strategy versus attackers.
[01:27:27] All those are interchangeable.
[01:27:29] Not completely interchangeable, but essentially interchangeable.
[01:27:34] They're different ways of saying the same thing.
[01:27:36] I mean, when I would talk to one of my guys, I might not say, hey, think about this from a strategic perspective.
[01:27:41] I might say, hey, you've got to think about the big picture.
[01:27:43] And I'm not saying a bigger map, right?
[01:27:46] I'm saying over the longer term.
[01:27:49] So you're right that it's a different way of expressing the same thing.
[01:27:54] And maybe we could find some nuance.
[01:27:56] Maybe we will find some nuances on the paid picture versus the long term versus the strategy.
[01:28:02] But essentially, they're all meeting the same thing and they're all a good place to focus.
[01:28:09] And, you know, with that, these are things that we're talking about to apply to really everything that you're in your life,
[01:28:23] from picking restaurants, to picking employees, to picking plans, to figuring out where you're going to go in six months and a year.
[01:28:31] And a year and two years to figure out what you're doing with your own personal health.
[01:28:35] To figure out everything.
[01:28:38] And in order to do that, you have to detach that is the first step that you got to take.
[01:28:43] Don't get emotional.
[01:28:45] Listen to what people have to say.
[01:28:47] Keep your damn ego in check.
[01:28:50] It's there.
[01:28:52] The hardest thing about the ego is you don't know it.
[01:28:56] It's like the air that you breathe.
[01:28:58] There and you don't recognize it until you go, oh, hold on a second.
[01:29:02] If you start to inhale something that stinks, then you notice it.
[01:29:06] Other than that, you don't really notice it.
[01:29:08] That's what's going on with your ego.
[01:29:10] So you've got to be careful of it.
[01:29:12] And then keep that mind open.
[01:29:15] Because that's where you get the new ideas and that's where you figure things out.
[01:29:20] And if you do that when you detach, then your ability to see.
[01:29:27] Will increase exponentially.
[01:29:30] You can't.
[01:29:31] It's like if you didn't have you had bad vision.
[01:29:37] And one day you put on glasses.
[01:29:40] And you could see.
[01:29:41] Like that is.
[01:29:43] Or you know, one day you're walking around you put some dirty,
[01:29:47] chipped up sunglasses on that were old and crappy.
[01:29:52] And you have sunglasses like that.
[01:29:54] I got some sunglasses like that. And you're just wearing them because it's sunny out or whatever,
[01:29:58] but there's nothing really that you're doing is cruising.
[01:30:00] But then all of a sudden, some happens where you need to see.
[01:30:03] And you lift up those glasses and everything comes real clear.
[01:30:07] That's like what detachment does.
[01:30:09] It's it's an amazing.
[01:30:10] It's a superpower.
[01:30:12] And it gives you an amazing advantage in everything that you do.
[01:30:17] So.
[01:30:19] Detach it, everybody.
[01:30:21] That's what we got for you.
[01:30:23] Echo.
[01:30:24] It's a good way for us to get our minds right.
[01:30:26] What else do we want us to need to think about here?
[01:30:28] Our bodies.
[01:30:29] Oh, check.
[01:30:30] They're broke my foot.
[01:30:31] I don't know if it's broke.
[01:30:32] But it seems broke.
[01:30:33] You're wearing a funny shoe.
[01:30:34] Yes, called a post-op shoe.
[01:30:37] But you didn't get up.
[01:30:38] No, up.
[01:30:39] Just the shoe.
[01:30:40] Okay.
[01:30:41] I think it was like a turf tow gone wild morphed into more injuries.
[01:30:44] Because I've been doing a barefoot kind of scenario.
[01:30:47] You know, you work out like explode into your foot and stuff.
[01:30:50] I hear good things.
[01:30:51] And it was working out for me.
[01:30:52] Until.
[01:30:53] Well, that was the end.
[01:30:54] Until I was doing burpees on the cement going hard.
[01:30:58] So you know when you drop the, you know, burpees, you can do them differently.
[01:31:02] But I do the kind of where like, they're almost like sprails, but I don't sprawl
[01:31:05] and my hip or not.
[01:31:06] It's just on my hand hands and feet.
[01:31:09] That's it.
[01:31:10] Nothing else touches.
[01:31:11] So it's like there's some pressure.
[01:31:12] Yeah.
[01:31:13] The pressure.
[01:31:14] Barefoot cement boom.
[01:31:15] Hurts.
[01:31:16] No problem.
[01:31:17] Was it one impact you like out?
[01:31:18] So it was the hole.
[01:31:19] The next day I was like, let it work.
[01:31:21] Yeah.
[01:31:22] So the next day I was jammed up.
[01:31:24] But I could still do barefoot squats and then the next.
[01:31:27] And actually wasn't right.
[01:31:28] The next day it was like maybe a day or two later.
[01:31:30] And bro, the next day after that, I was couldn't walk and my foot ballooned up.
[01:31:36] And I wouldn't go away, bro.
[01:31:38] Anyway, I'm jammed up a little bit.
[01:31:40] But it does focus your brain on alternative stuff.
[01:31:44] No.
[01:31:45] What's the what you've been focused on?
[01:31:46] The nutrition element.
[01:31:47] The nutrition element.
[01:31:48] The nutrition.
[01:31:49] So it's a big deal.
[01:31:50] It helps with healing way more night and day, by the way.
[01:31:53] And sleep.
[01:31:54] Oh, but yeah.
[01:31:55] So yeah.
[01:31:56] Boom.
[01:31:57] That's what's going on with me.
[01:31:58] Mm-hmm.
[01:31:59] Because I know you're wondering about that.
[01:32:00] Anyway, so.
[01:32:02] There is such thing as exploring just nutrition, but supplementation can be just as important.
[01:32:12] What's that percentage of people throw out like on on on nutrition versus exercise?
[01:32:18] Like you can't outwork a bad diet.
[01:32:21] Yes.
[01:32:22] I believe that that's a good.
[01:32:25] Except for when you're 18 or 19 or 20 years old and you're going through buds.
[01:32:31] You could outwork all day.
[01:32:34] You can't really eat everything.
[01:32:36] Oh, freaking buds.
[01:32:37] Yeah.
[01:32:38] You can't.
[01:32:39] How do you to buds scenario?
[01:32:40] It's not how.
[01:32:41] Yes.
[01:32:42] Need to get your grub on.
[01:32:43] Yeah.
[01:32:44] Let me send that's what you need to do.
[01:32:46] Yeah.
[01:32:47] So if you want to help yourself out, get some milk.
[01:32:51] Get something which is a protein dessert.
[01:32:53] Really.
[01:32:54] Yeah.
[01:32:55] All of my things being considered.
[01:32:56] In my case, it was additional joint warfare, additional supercure oil.
[01:33:00] That was my protocol.
[01:33:02] Mulk.
[01:33:03] I have been going heavy on the milk.
[01:33:04] It does actually.
[01:33:05] It jammed me out only with cardio stuff.
[01:33:08] What?
[01:33:09] Oh, the food.
[01:33:10] The food.
[01:33:11] Yeah.
[01:33:12] So I'm still going hard on the mockest at the point there.
[01:33:14] Did you see that little video I posted of the new factory down in North Carolina?
[01:33:20] Yeah.
[01:33:21] What was your thoughts?
[01:33:22] What on the video of that new factory?
[01:33:24] I know that the video is freaking amazing.
[01:33:27] Yeah.
[01:33:28] That's your assessment of your video.
[01:33:30] Yeah.
[01:33:31] I don't want you to sit here and be like, well, you know, you're angry on this.
[01:33:34] I'm angry.
[01:33:35] Yeah.
[01:33:36] I can add it to the meaty eye.
[01:33:38] Yeah.
[01:33:39] Yeah.
[01:33:40] Well, no.
[01:33:41] I don't want your professional assessment of the video there for you.
[01:33:43] Yeah.
[01:33:44] So I watch.
[01:33:45] Yeah.
[01:33:46] So I think I'm, so there's this guy named Jake Tran.
[01:33:48] He's a guy who makes these really cool little mini like documentary on us on YouTube.
[01:33:53] And he talks about like conspiracies and money and corruption and stuff.
[01:33:57] It's really interesting.
[01:33:58] Jake Tran.
[01:33:59] And so I had going to rabbit holes every once in a while with his videos.
[01:34:04] So a lot of times he'll talk about things like foreign corruption or like, that's where I got the,
[01:34:11] actually it might have been from one of these videos.
[01:34:13] I'm not sure if we get it.
[01:34:14] But we're about to express you know, uniquely priced labor.
[01:34:17] Okay.
[01:34:18] So you get like, you know, and I get it, man, you want to, you know, buy something kind of cheaper and bring it, you know, and sell it for more.
[01:34:26] Right.
[01:34:27] And a lot of times part of that discounted price is slave labor.
[01:34:30] The cost of making it.
[01:34:32] Exit slave labor is exactly right.
[01:34:35] You know, do we do they say that when you're making your order from China or whatever, do they say, hey,
[01:34:40] you know, like here's all your list items.
[01:34:43] Oh, labor.
[01:34:44] Uh, ten cents a day.
[01:34:46] You know, like it doesn't say that kind of stuff.
[01:34:48] So it's kind of out of sight on a mind that's facing.
[01:34:50] But yeah, so when I watch your video on a lot of videos, actually the originates to these stuff, it kind of like goes to show like,
[01:34:55] Okay, it creates this bigger picture in your mind about what's really going on.
[01:34:59] Like you don't.
[01:35:00] That guilt and I'm not saying everyone feels guilty about slave labor in other countries.
[01:35:06] But when you think about it, man, it does weren't some guilt as far as feelings go.
[01:35:10] Yeah, for sure.
[01:35:11] So yeah, when you see like how you guys, you know, origin in that video and a lot of other videos, it kind of, it does make me think about that a lot more.
[01:35:19] Yeah, and you know what else is an interesting thing to think about is the environment.
[01:35:24] I was watching something else.
[01:35:26] I was watching Rogue in the other day and I figured who have on, but they were talking about seeing the.
[01:35:32] Rivers are like a river in China and it's dyed blue.
[01:35:37] It's like blue from making denim and they just dump the chemical right into the river and you can't live there because it's so awful and polluted.
[01:35:46] And so yeah, that's why that's why we're doing this man.
[01:35:50] That's why we're doing this.
[01:35:51] So and it was cool.
[01:35:53] The thing I liked about showing that factory and that was my first time getting to that factory and the thing I liked about showing is I think it's a good opportunity for people.
[01:36:01] Oh, oh, I people are starting to understand what we're doing, why we're doing it, knowing that it's good for the workers.
[01:36:10] Good for America, good for the environment, good for you as a human.
[01:36:15] So origin USA dot com, get yourself some gear there and you'll be stoked.
[01:36:21] Oh yeah, so also speak to the guy, jacos store.
[01:36:24] It's called jacos store.
[01:36:25] So new stuff on there.
[01:36:27] Discipline equals freedom, good.
[01:36:31] We got the end of the short locker.
[01:36:33] I talked about this a lot of time, but it is if there's some cool, if you're on YouTube, this is a newer.
[01:36:39] Yeah, well, you know what this is?
[01:36:41] Dead's G. I.
[01:36:43] Yeah, but yeah, so there are a little bit different kind of designs, but you get one every month.
[01:36:49] And if you can see the layers, I think that adds to the to the experience.
[01:36:53] And see the hype. Oh yeah, what's our jacos store dot com, get some of that.
[01:36:57] Also, we have the jacos underground.
[01:36:59] We have to have that.
[01:37:01] We have to have the jacos underground because look, we don't control whatever platform you're listening to this.
[01:37:05] Unless you're listening to it on jacos underground, which you can do, then we don't control the platform.
[01:37:09] We don't know what they're going to sense.
[01:37:10] So we don't know if they're going to insert ads and force you to listen to an advertisement.
[01:37:14] So that they can make money in the following.
[01:37:17] They make money off of us and you.
[01:37:21] And that's not good.
[01:37:23] You don't need to do that.
[01:37:25] Don't let them make money off of you.
[01:37:27] Come along.
[01:37:29] So yeah, we don't and we don't know if they're ever going to just pull us off because they don't like us.
[01:37:33] Because we said something bad about whoever.
[01:37:35] We said, we don't like slave labor.
[01:37:37] Well, they want to protect slave labor.
[01:37:39] So they pull us off the platform.
[01:37:41] So jacos underground dot com eight dollars and eighteen cents a month.
[01:37:44] And you get this, what do you do it like additional podcast on there.
[01:37:48] And you're talking about things that are, let's say, jacopontcast adjacent.
[01:37:52] A Jason.
[01:37:53] Life advice in tips.
[01:37:56] You know what, do you consider this?
[01:37:58] Because this is what I kind of thought, you know, like you'll talk about like a.
[01:38:01] Topic.
[01:38:03] Thought.
[01:38:04] You were really, it's like a book called Deep Thoughts.
[01:38:07] It's more of a comedy book.
[01:38:09] The joke.
[01:38:10] Yeah, it's like I think from a certain amount of life, right?
[01:38:12] Yeah, and then there's a book.
[01:38:13] There's an actual book.
[01:38:14] And it's just, it's that, but it's a bunch of them.
[01:38:15] And they're pretty like some of them are like, okay,
[01:38:17] that's funny, but some of them are like, oh yeah,
[01:38:19] huh, and you know, you kind of, but these a lot of times the beginning of
[01:38:22] the underground podcast is jacos deep thoughts.
[01:38:27] That's interesting.
[01:38:28] I didn't really found that.
[01:38:29] I don't know what it is at all.
[01:38:31] I think that when I think the R is like topics that I come across where I think,
[01:38:36] you know, that'd be cool to talk about for a half an hour or I learned something
[01:38:41] that I go, oh, this applies to a lot of different situations.
[01:38:45] I, it's not really jacol podcast, but it's a little underground activity.
[01:38:50] Yeah.
[01:38:51] So there you go.
[01:38:52] That's a jacos underground.com.
[01:38:53] If you want to check that out, we have a YouTube channel, or a USA has a YouTube channel
[01:38:59] as well if you want to check what's happening.
[01:39:01] And to go to Meyer, he's got his thing.
[01:39:04] FlipsideCampus.com.
[01:39:05] If you want to get some cool to hang on your wall,
[01:39:07] I've written a bunch of books.
[01:39:09] You can buy.
[01:39:10] You can read them.
[01:39:11] You can ask questions.
[01:39:12] You can ask questions about anything.
[01:39:14] On extreme ownership.com, we have a place to learn leadership
[01:39:19] and a place to learn about life really.
[01:39:22] I'm on there one, two, three times a week live.
[01:39:26] Like a zoom call.
[01:39:27] No, that's not like it's a zoom call.
[01:39:30] If you want to ask me a question directly,
[01:39:32] and you want to have a full interaction like,
[01:39:36] hey, explain the situation and explain what you've already tried
[01:39:39] and explain what this one Fred is doing and saying to you,
[01:39:42] you can work through all that stuff with me.
[01:39:45] Go to extremeownership.com for that.
[01:39:49] And also we have a leadership consultancy.
[01:39:51] Go to www.aslamfront.com for that.
[01:39:53] And also, if you want to help service members
[01:39:58] who are active and retired, you want to help their families,
[01:40:01] you want to help gold star families,
[01:40:03] mark these moms, you've got an awesome organization.
[01:40:06] And if you want to help that,
[01:40:08] you can go to America's Mighty Warriors.
[01:40:11] Org also our friend, Micah.
[01:40:14] He has an incredible organization taken.
[01:40:18] That's out of the wilderness to,
[01:40:23] to kind of reawaken their soul.
[01:40:29] Heroesandhorsts.org.
[01:40:32] Don't forget you can find us both on Twitter.
[01:40:35] On the Instagram, on Facebook.
[01:40:37] Echo's Aquatiles.
[01:40:38] I'm at Jockel Willink.
[01:40:40] You got to watch out for that. I'll go.
[01:40:42] Algorithm though.
[01:40:43] It's going to try and grab you.
[01:40:44] You know another thing, if you want to come and meet up with us,
[01:40:47] come to the master.
[01:40:49] We have an event.
[01:40:51] The next one's in Denver.
[01:40:53] So if you want to come to the master,
[01:40:55] you want to hang out.
[01:40:56] You want to meet.
[01:40:57] You want to go through some leadership training.
[01:40:59] Once again, go to www.aslamfront.com.
[01:41:01] Check out events.
[01:41:03] And come to one of those live events.
[01:41:05] People ask me like, oh, are you speaking live?
[01:41:07] And those are those are the events kind of where I speak live.
[01:41:10] The master, the battlefield.
[01:41:13] FTXs.
[01:41:15] I go to some of those.
[01:41:16] So check any of that stuff out.
[01:41:18] And of course, thanks to the military troops around the world.
[01:41:22] We just went through Memorial Day.
[01:41:25] And on that day, we remember and memorialize those that made the ultimate sacrifice.
[01:41:32] And we know that all those who signed the dotted line and swore the oath made a commitment
[01:41:39] to make that sacrifice.
[01:41:42] So thanks to all of you out there who made that oath.
[01:41:47] And also thanks to our police and law enforcement.
[01:41:51] Firefighters, paramedics, EMTs, dispatchers,
[01:41:54] correctional officers, board patrol, secret service.
[01:41:57] All first responders, you also signed the dotted line.
[01:42:01] And so we're two protect us.
[01:42:03] And we are grateful for your commitment as well.
[01:42:08] And everybody else, that's listening.
[01:42:11] You can't see what you're doing if you're actually watching yourself do it.
[01:42:19] If that's the only thing you're watching is what you're doing.
[01:42:22] You can't see what you're doing.
[01:42:24] You can't see where you're going.
[01:42:26] You can't see the impact that you're going to have.
[01:42:29] You can only see a few inches in front of yourself.
[01:42:33] And you can't make good decisions when you can't see anything.
[01:42:37] And you can't make good decisions when you're wound up and your emotional.
[01:42:44] Then you can't be a good leader or a good person.
[01:42:49] If you're allowing any of those things to happen and a lot of times what's driving that is your ego.
[01:42:56] So don't let your ego get out of control.
[01:42:59] Take a step back.
[01:43:01] Relax.
[01:43:02] Look around.
[01:43:04] And then go get after it.
[01:43:07] And until next time,
[01:43:09] Zekko and Joko.
[01:43:11] Out.