Jocko Podcast 207 with Kyle Carpenter, Medal of Honor Recipient. Live a Life Worth Fighting For

2019-12-12T17:33:33Z

Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles @chiksdigscars 0:00:00 -  Opening 0: 06:24 - Kyle Carpenter. 4:30:24 - Final thoughts and take-aways 5:00:30 - How to stay on THE PATH. JOCKO STORE Apparel: https://www.jockostore.com/collections/men Jocko Supplements: https://originmaine.com/origin-labs/ Origin Jeans and Clothes: https://originmaine.com/durable-goods/ Origin Gis: https://originmaine.com/bjj-mma-fit/ "You're Worth It" (Book): https://amzn.to/2PfflO9 5:33:00 - Closing Gratitude.

AI summary of episode

and And proud of myself for You know, always you know really Striving to Treat every single person no matter what the circumstance with love and respect and now You know I'm starting to get a little bit of gray just turn 30 Lookin over this long you know salty life I Looking back, you know, I do feel like now I'm finally starting to get to a place where Looking back, I do realize that It's not a bad thing at all to Be If you want to say soft or A square or you know, whatever it is and When the times as a marine in Afghanistan When I've Needed to be when I was called upon When that was appropriate for that situation and that mission I feel like Going into a room first with the saw Kicking in the door I have a couple of hand grenades on my On my plate carrier You know, I That was me at that time, but now I do feel like I've gotten it as far as I have in life and I've done as well as I have Obviously with the amazing support team and the people that picked me out when I stumbled You know, but Aside from that, I do feel like My softness, I guess Has Got me to an incredible place in life You know, there's a saying Which I was thinking of as you were talking about that The saying is And they think all that that kids a whip or that kids, you know, what's the word I'm looking for that kids, you know a goody two shoes Right or a square something like that and what you're proof that That's wrong actually you know that this that you can be raised that way and you can be tough as nails Because I think the reputation of someone that would say those things Let me pretty this way I got a 16 year old son he wouldn't say those things because he'd think I don't want my friends to think I don't want my friends to think I'm you know soft I'm done you know, that's the way it is you know he wouldn't say love your mama Maybe what a little bit I don't really remember it Which is crazy to have this incredible amount of focus on your life story On a situation that you don't remember and I've been knocked out before and I mean I imagine this is just like the absolute worst knockout a person can can get And you know you wake up and you go away where am I you know I've been knocked out and just you know come to go and know Wait a second where am I and that's basically what what you had Yeah, and you're exactly right it is you know at in the beginning after five weeks later after I woke up after those what I thought or my final moments on that roof It used to frustrate me that I couldn't remember and I don't I don't think it would if there were no external influences But knowing that the Marine Corps the military department of defense and In a way the whole country and world we're looking into talking about examining Parts of your life that you can't remember was wild and You know, but as with everything I tried to not only see both sides, but really think through it And thankfully and eventually I just realized how wrong of a mindset that was and not only is it understandable that I don't remember anything I just taken a grenade to the face you're learning about work, you know, this is this is what it is And also learn to appreciate once again, you know what we talk about being raised in a sheltered situation You know, that's that's what that is you don't understand what goes into that Chicken patty that's coming on to your plate at night, you know, we get a factory up in Maine and there's what we make close, you know, and you people don't realize oh somebody somebody made that somebody showed that You know, many people you know, stitched their fingers and injured themselves just trying to make a pair of jeans or a time away from their family Exactly, of course it's a job, but still but just You know things that unless you enter our world You know on the other side of it are not only powerful but incredible to listen to to think about to try to even not don't think you're Effectively can but to try to you know visualize or put yourself in those situations like You know running to your objective what are you talking about right now but just things like that that is leadership along with those stories of You know perseverance and just aggressiveness and determination all of that and it together made me Not only realize what a leader could be so That's what I think this this calls out to me, you know, is that this type of attitude that gets frowned upon And I guess that's a little bit of what you know when you were saying you didn't even know if you were to write about this stuff That's what I'm getting at like you say and I don't know if I'm right about this because it's a little bit but some people might you know not connect with it And, you know, to for a couple of months after I had initially kind of broke the news on what I was really thinking about And considering like you said, we were in a time of two serious conflicts And who knows where things were going to go from there with all of these terrible and just unreal things happening around the world And for a couple of months you know, to see my mom in the morning I dreaded walking into the living room and seeing her eyes red and swollen And knowing that she had been crying through the night to herself Because she was so scared and so concerned For if I was going to do this, you know, at the time I think she was thinking hopefully not you You You know you talk a little bit about your attitude going in And you know you say this it's not hard to feel invincible first the Marine Corps trains you so well that you know you are part of one of the most elite fighting forces on earth It seems impossible that 40 year old Soviet weapons and homemade detonating devices of the Taliban could possibly pose a serious risk You're in your late teens or early 20s and the risk rewards center of the brain has not fully developed so the possibility of danger seems Thrilling rather than sobering it's hard to think about death when the world seems so full of life possibility and excitement You feel invincible because up to this point you've basically have been broken arm from falling out of a tree fort no problem The doctors can fix you right up by putting you in a cast for a month Conclusion from a bad hit and football concerning but you'll be back in a few weeks When that is your frame of reference it's hard to imagine the degree of injury that might be waiting you that might be awaiting you If you can imagine it it still seems like something that would happen to someone else The problem is that you are everyone else is someone else And so right there immediately just from hangar nades and not even leaving Our four walls of our patrol base we were down three guys and we had all gone down there with a Squad and arguably a small squad and our mission and we did this to give people listening context We were over the halfway point of our deployment When you're you know we stood three months, but when you're you can see the end inside You know that at seven months whether you want to or not your times up you're going back home And another unit is going to come in and relieve you To prepare for that and to continue to Keep the momentum going of an efficient mission Just like with anything in live hopefully you want to leave it better than you found it And they have the self assurance that they don't need to You know, what makes someone walk around with their chest You know, push out, act and like they're tough Most of the time those tough guys are act and like they're tough Because they're insecure about something That's what's going on And so when people actually have When people are kind, it's because they're secure I can tell you like I train you jitsu But you don't want to look around and survey and look for And discover who that is 50 minutes for the Evac to get there You continue on a few hours later this is after the Caches the evacuation a few hours later after the sun and set I was on my shift as radio watch back at patrol base Abitly listening to information as it came in from the Marines who were outside of the wire during the silence of breaks in the radio traffic I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to the hour before was since and still alive How would his wife and family handle the news would I be able to survive something like that if it if or when it happened to me As my brain raised to compartmentalize the recent past my present reality suddenly became even worse Loose dirt crumbled out of the cracks in the wall as the room shook A second later the sound of a massive explosion reached us more than a mile away Lance Corporal Dakota Hughes had been making his way through the dark fields and tree lines with his squad on night patrol They were moving toward a village to our south the Taliban would flood fields in order to make it harder for us to advance quickly The inundated fields didn't slow down our tall guys much because the water was only about as high as their boots But for shorter guys like Dakota and me the water was up to our ankles and even our calves at times Between the water our 22 pound squad automatic weapons 20 to 30 pounds of machine gun ammo and 45 pounds of gear It was hard to move quickly and the Taliban knew that As Hughes and his squad approached the village he reached a goat path a small trail that surrounds an agricultural field And allows locals to travel through the patchwork of land without triggering their crops Stepping onto it a few moments later 19 year old Dakota from Greenwood Louisiana took his last step And breath on this earth so this Do you find out immediately that you know that he was KIA? And then volunteer to be in Sagan Vietnam and I was I said you know well, you know, was it hard to get selected and he was like You know, he goes it was Vietnam, you know, the survival rate of an officer in Vietnam was like nothing Yeah, you know, you said it seems like no big deal, you know high school football or whatever This is one of the reasons that I've written a bunch of kids books one of the reasons that I wrote a bunch of kids books is because one day I was talking to my kids One of my kids about something and what I realized, you know, I was like in the military I don't know they run I'm going to run this women I'm going to swim What you know what I said so such they say that that party of brain isn't fully developed until you're like 25 maybe years It was a little bit earlier maybe mine was a little bit later because you were way more introspective than I ever was I was like a knuckle dragger You know but once I did I immediately felt welcome and loved in that family and from day one I feel like I thrived and Just again met some really amazing people that I still keep in touch with the day and that still Show me that same amount of love and support as they did on that first day and it's actually not in the book another example of how small it is You know and through the writing in the contract we had 75,000 words But as we went along through the two years you know you really dive into deep thought and self-reflection And if I saw a guy it didn't happen it happened for probably like six months when I would see like a young new guy seal standing in the middle of the street with no cover I would get I would feel sick to my stomach like I just a real like a sickness I would come over me because I would think that they're going to get shot, you know, and I'd go for no big I need to get some cover. But also You know When a debt seed started that fire and kind of gave me that burning of of knowing that there is more out there and seeing what maybe with hard work and dedication I could become not his specifically but just how he carried himself And the way he you know even as sanitation supervisor at a culture processing facility you know that leadership that he brought everyday and How all of those under him were not only structured but extremely effective and I never I hung out in office a lot probably because I got so many cool stories but you know I never but no hey on this bus ride home there's going to be a lot of empty seats And to know that and know that your emotions and your attitude is going to potentially dictate or affect how many of the seats there are on the way back It's a heavy dose of a reality check There's a line in the book that I didn't read earlier but it's when you're having the discussions with your parents about joining the military And like your mom says something along and you've got the quote in there I'm going to butcher it and I think a lot of it is attitude and again kind of like I said at the beginning You know what even though we signed up for it we raised our right hand You can do the research you know we're in a time of two conflicts and two different On two different fronts and two different countries and you know or I'm just talking about joining the Marine Corps just that right there You know there's I guess what I'm thinking about is the stereotypical spoiled kid That's never going to do anything like that Didn't it doesn't have to be that way right and the other the other thing I like about this is Respect your respect your father love your mama stick tight to your brothers always do your best always be honest never talk back There's kids that there's kids that look at a kid like that Good could be a potential moment downrange Just a couple months later that you know not for y'all You know training is obviously longer, but you know in the short term For every mistake that you weren't so harsh on him for Could be a life altering or life ending You know, I'm a state that could have been corrected before Because you know, I need to be in this world, but you know, I've I believe learn and realize over time that And this is just me personally, but You know, I should I do You know deeply care about people So I think I realized these even though I did at the time I realized them Less than and more later on Yeah, the reflection when you look back and for me I've been doing a lot of that you know I got this book that I just wrote leadership strategy in tactics and I start off by explaining How I transition I don't use these words because I just thought it's today, but how I transition from learning like a dog Which is you know kind of how it started to saying oh, and I don't think until you know you go through the things that you do through your life of service You can fully comprehend or get mentally prepared or ready for So just to know Hey, I know what I know and I said all that looks you know this is a cool warm movie I watched every warm movie I could possibly watch and then that opening scene of The opening scene which is 45 minutes long of full metal jacket In my mind it would I would think oh if you saw that you'd know what was coming right you'd know like But over the long term Being kind of people and helping people out of me and look at the support network that you just talked about Those people were supporting you Obviously they're doing it because they're good people but they're also doing it because you're a good person You know that little extra effort when they say hey this guy's a good human being this guy said, hi me this guy was nice to me this guy didn't flip out when I made a mistake like And you got this in the book like any successful and efficient organization the Marine Corps emphasizes leadership at the foundational level with every Marine train and ready to take over the job Above them if the situation calls for it this appealed to me as being a part of the military the discipline that shapes recruits in deleders Obviously the way the Marine Corps does it is not the most pleasant approach But it has a remarkable success rate that you've talked about this I was honored to be named a squad leader early on and hold that position through graduation If the DIs decide you have earned the right to stay in that role and you graduate as a squad leader You will leave boot camp at the rank of private first class rather than private It is an honor, but it does come with its drawbacks You help maintain order, but you also have to share the punishment with anyone in your squad who needs to be disciplined If one of the your guys is told the S.D. pull up pushups you have to be there doing them right alongside him That was one of the best lessons in leadership the Marine Corps taught me a true leader is not someone who keeps themselves separate from the people they lead He or she is right in the middle of what the team is going through Experiencing the lows as well as the highs with everyone else And then the chances of getting Actually hurt wounded or killed Or are are relatively small Compared to what it looks like in Hollywood movie You know in Hollywood movie it's like everyone's going to fight everyone's going to war Everyone's getting blown up That's what happens in the movies It's not like that in the real military And You know, I I do feel like maybe I'm a little t-nice at times, but You know, for That one time every once in a while that I might get walked all over you know, there's a hundred times that I'm thankful I already, I'm still excited and looking forward to keep going, but with that said, I appreciate you having me in this time and helping me with your platform, with that mission of helping people through that struggle and telling people, and telling people that, one small step at a time, you work hard, try to stay positive, try to be a good person, do the right thing, and you know, it will not only bring you out of that, but take you to great places. I know it's like you know it's going to happen The unknown of just thinking Because what let's face it What Hollywood can portray the military to be like Is a lot different from what the military really is hey We're going to step up the game in Afghanistan you guys kind of know what that means Since you guys are prepared basically prepared for deployment because you're on a little mini deployment So you guys figure if there's troops are going to Afghanistan for this surge thing going on It's probably going to be us you say here. And you know my dad has has struggled before and maybe still does a little with the fact that You know maybe moving me around so much and and you know the fact that I was unhappy during that Influential time in my life that that kind of led me to join the military But just keeping you know that rhythm that you know in your comfortable with and then you know we would have those transitional periods where You know we might go for night patrol to early afternoon patrol That long term that kindness is going to win every single time at long term like I said short term there's going to be some some Jerk that's going to walk around and push around and it's like okay everyone just saw what just happened and when you come back here into the store or into the situation and you want a little extra help from somebody and you can as you start as you read this book you put those pieces together and you can kind of see it form it's awesome Continuing on here There were certain sounds I never would have imagined that I could tune out like AK47's being shot at me with the intent to kill but at some point your brain starts Registering certain input as more of a nuisance than a threat Besides bullets were not our main concern we were focused on avoiding the IEDs that were stretched across roadways walking paths and inside of walls They taken quite a toll on two nine on September 30 if Lance Corporal Timothy M Jackson had been killed by an IED Then in mid November IEDs had taken out two more of our guys One of those remarkable Marines was our squad leader Zach Stinson who stepped on an IED That had been placed underground near a wall that separated two villages the scariest thing about the IED is that without a metal detector a well placed one can be almost impossible to spot even in broad daylight You lucky if the person who placed the IED is in experienced or lazy because they will lead leave red flags like disturbed dirt or a small trash pile that looks like it might have been constructed to hide something At about one PM we were walking on patrol through one of the dried up irrigation canals that crisscross the landscape We were scanning the terrain for town abandon making our way toward the next town we needed to secure when another dreaded explosion went off The shockwave of the blast rippled through our patrol. You know I had Jim Web on here who is the Navy Cross recipient Marine Corps, but you know his story He's like goes finishes the Naval Academy goes to the basic school goes to their little short Infect condensed infantry course that's like 11 weeks long gets 13 days leave flies to Vietnam Yeah absolutely Even you know some people They think that you're they think that 20 years In the military is 20 years in boot camp This what they think they think it's 20 years of people yelling in screaming at you and it's like And they all end up in the military and it's you still even with all those diverse backgrounds it's hard to predict One a person's actually going to be like what what what that person is actually going to be like and you know you meet some kid from the hood And you know we'd get bad seats like on an aircraft And I would call up the the dang help desk of Delta or of America whoever whatever airline and I would spend at least the first like two minutes of saying hey, how you do you know they'd say how can I help you and I'd say oh How you do

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Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is Jockel podcast number 207 with Equatorals and me Jockel Willink
[00:00:06] Good evening, Eco good evening
[00:00:09] Now on
[00:00:11] podcast 203
[00:00:14] I had the honor of
[00:00:17] Having on some members of Kilo company 37 Reigns
[00:00:23] I had a Corporal Kelly Miller
[00:00:25] Sergeant Wild Bill William Hampton
[00:00:32] First Sergeant John Furg Ferguson and Lieutenant Colonel Trent Gibson
[00:00:41] And they came on the podcast to
[00:00:45] Share the story of their brother in arms
[00:00:50] Their fellow Marine Jason Dunham
[00:00:52] Who sacrificed his own life by smothering a grenade to save Kelly Miller and Bill Hampton on April 14th, 2004
[00:01:07] And he died of
[00:01:10] His wounds eight days later on April 22nd, 2004
[00:01:15] And obviously that was an extremely hard podcast
[00:01:25] To record I know it was hard to listen to it's hard for them to recount their memories of Jason
[00:01:35] And of his life
[00:01:37] And of his death as well and it was hard for me to
[00:01:47] Watch as their emotions came to the surface and to see
[00:01:52] The anguish in their faces and hear
[00:01:58] The sorrow in their voices as they spoke
[00:02:01] And it was also hard for me because I was thinking about Mikey Montsour
[00:02:11] Because on September 29th 2006 in the city of our Ramadi I rack
[00:02:18] Mikey who is one of my guys in tasking a bruiser at Seal Team 3
[00:02:26] He also jumped on a grenade
[00:02:28] To save three of our teammates
[00:02:35] And he was also killed
[00:02:41] From this ultimate act of selflessness
[00:02:47] And both of those men posthumously received the Medal of Honor
[00:03:00] And the stories of Jason and Mikey were
[00:03:06] I mean they were definitely similar stories
[00:03:11] And what the men of 37 kilo company went through
[00:03:14] And they were similar to what we experienced in tasking a bruiser
[00:03:23] From the morning of our brothers
[00:03:28] To the writing of the award citation
[00:03:32] To the ceremony at the White House
[00:03:35] The US Navy warships won named the USS Jason Dunham and won named the USS Michael Montsour
[00:03:47] And there's another similarity
[00:03:51] That's there that
[00:03:56] That can't be denied and that is that
[00:03:58] We all wish that we could have had one more
[00:04:06] One more conversation with these heroes
[00:04:13] One more chance to tell them
[00:04:17] About our lives now to tell them that we are not wasting the gift that they have given us
[00:04:22] One more chance to talk and smile and laugh with them again
[00:04:38] One more chance to say thank you
[00:04:40] But we will not get that chance
[00:04:53] At least not in this life
[00:05:02] Because even though we remembered them
[00:05:05] They are gone
[00:05:14] And we can only imagine what they would say to us now
[00:05:19] Where they would be
[00:05:23] How they would explain their actions
[00:05:25] And what kind of miracle could have allowed them to survive
[00:05:36] And to survive something like that it
[00:05:39] And absolutely would take a miracle
[00:05:42] For a miracle on top of a miracle on top of a miracle
[00:05:45] To survive a grenade blast at point blank range
[00:06:01] Well fortunately miracles do sometimes happen
[00:06:07] And tonight on the podcast
[00:06:10] We have someone here with us that is the result of many miracles
[00:06:18] Miracles that unfolded after he did the same thing that Jason Dunham did
[00:06:24] The same thing that Mikey Montsour did he smothered her grenade with his body
[00:06:29] To save his friend
[00:06:33] His name is Kyle Carpenter
[00:06:35] And it is an honor and it is a miracle to have him here with us tonight
[00:06:45] Kyle, thanks for coming on
[00:06:49] It's awesome to meet you
[00:06:51] Thanks brother, you too
[00:06:53] To say it's an honor and privilege to be here with the end
[00:06:57] Understatement
[00:06:59] So I do appreciate this opportunity
[00:07:01] You know what I had, you know what I'm going to do
[00:07:05] Mike's really on and he's one of the guys that Mikey Montsour saved
[00:07:09] You know it's just
[00:07:12] We're sitting there with the guys from Keylo company
[00:07:16] And you just think in the whole time that man
[00:07:21] If I could just have one more conversation with your bro
[00:07:25] Just one more conversation
[00:07:26] And you know when I was reading your story
[00:07:31] I mean obviously heard about your story but I want to
[00:07:34] Reading about your story, you know it's like I kept smiling to myself and saying
[00:07:38] Man this is this is that chance, you know this is that chance to talk to somebody
[00:07:43] That for all practical purposes there's no possible way that you should survive
[00:07:49] There's just it just doesn't make sense
[00:07:51] That's why I use the term miracle and I know you use the in your book
[00:07:54] As well
[00:07:57] But to have you here sitting and be able to talk to you
[00:08:01] It's just
[00:08:03] It's amazing it's amazing to be able to sit here
[00:08:06] So thanks for making the journey and making the trip and coming out here
[00:08:11] And I just mentioned your book you got this book that just came out
[00:08:15] It's called You Are Worth it
[00:08:18] And you don't whenever I have someone on I was kind of like to start
[00:08:25] I guess to start at the beginning you know kind of kind of figure out what people's backgrounds were
[00:08:32] Where they came from and you do a good job of that you know you actually you're second chapter in the book is called It's Starts at home
[00:08:41] And you go into your history
[00:08:44] Sounds pretty sounds like you're pretty
[00:08:46] Let's just say an energetic kid
[00:08:50] Yeah, like a little five-year-old marine
[00:08:55] Yeah, you start off here
[00:08:58] My dad will tell you that I had more confidence in any little any little kid in history
[00:09:04] When I was still a toddler I insisted he draw Superman logo on my chest with a marker
[00:09:09] And not some weak washable marker that would come off in the bathtub
[00:09:11] No, I had to be the man of steel in permanent marker and I wanted the logo redrawn every time the ink started to fade
[00:09:18] Aside from my secret superhero identity, I was exactly like every other little boy in Mississippi
[00:09:23] I was fearless restless reckless and relentless
[00:09:26] A tiny blonde ball of energy you climbed up, left from played on rolled in ran around
[00:09:31] Or found a way to destroy whatever I possibly could
[00:09:35] And my dad and mom were thrilled about it
[00:09:38] Truly from the start my parents, Jim and Robin taught us to believe
[00:09:44] To be to believe in myself
[00:09:47] Of course they protected me and worried about me at times, but they also made me believe that anything was possible
[00:09:51] They both grown up in wonderfully stable in loving homes that had also been a little bit sheltered
[00:09:56] My mom had said a goal to make sure her kids expanded their horizons. My dad said my dad made sure he didn't just spend time with his kids
[00:10:04] But made quality time with them, engaging with us in meaningful and deeply personal ways
[00:10:10] Both of them hit their parenting goals squarely on the head
[00:10:15] So that sounds like you had a very ideal upbringing
[00:10:21] I did and it absolutely gave me the foundation that I needed
[00:10:28] To become the person that I wanted and needed to be
[00:10:32] And also I believe played a huge part in that foundation that allowed me to be the marine and the friend that I needed to
[00:10:43] And I'm so thankful and proud that I was in that moment and stepped up
[00:10:50] When I was needed, but you know talking about that chapter of the book
[00:10:55] I was hesitant actually to write so much about my parents how amazing they are and how much they did for me
[00:11:05] Because I wrote this book to
[00:11:10] Transcend all boundaries and I
[00:11:14] Wanted
[00:11:16] Thright of book that anyone and everyone could pick up and understand
[00:11:20] But also take lessons from but with that said I didn't want to shut anyone out either
[00:11:26] And I know that
[00:11:29] There are so many out there that we're not as fortunate as me
[00:11:34] That we're not born into that stable loving kind of textbook perfect home
[00:11:40] But as I thought about it and through the two years of writing
[00:11:44] I decided that hopefully I'm going to put it in there and hopefully
[00:11:51] It won't turn anyone away if anything
[00:11:55] Those that maybe didn't get that example
[00:11:58] That don't know not only how great of a parent you can be
[00:12:03] But also when those trials and tribulations come
[00:12:06] What you can make it through you know obviously everyone loves their kids wants to help them
[00:12:11] And make them great but
[00:12:17] I wanted to use my parents as an example
[00:12:22] Of the hardships that you can make it through with your child and what you can battle through together
[00:12:28] You know what else is it's interesting when you come at it from that angle because as I was reading this
[00:12:33] The thought goes into your brain right of like well oh he had this perfect childhood right no wonder he ended up good
[00:12:43] Here's the thing there's
[00:12:46] Kid after kid after kid in the world that have the most perfect situation that they grow up in
[00:12:53] And it turns out to backfire on him
[00:12:55] I mean what's the difference the line between being a spoiled kid
[00:12:59] I mean the fact that you joined the Marine Corps right
[00:13:00] You had a nice up bringing you had no reason to say oh I'm not I'm going to leave college
[00:13:08] I'm going to go in the Marine Corps I'm going to be a grant the Marine Corps like
[00:13:11] That's there's a fine line right with raising kids and I got four kids
[00:13:16] There's a fine line between hey I'm supportive and I'm helping and I'm going to and I'm going to be there for them
[00:13:24] And turning them into spoiled brats
[00:13:26] And it seems like your parents found the place where that line existed and didn't go overboard
[00:13:33] But at the same time, you know they they provided you with support
[00:13:37] Does that make sense?
[00:13:39] Yeah absolutely that makes perfect sense and
[00:13:42] Yeah, I think all the way up into working at the chicken plant for two summers
[00:13:48] Was about you know where my potentially being spoiled ended
[00:13:52] But yeah, you know I'm I could have written the entire book about my parents
[00:13:59] I'm so thankful that they've been there from the moment I was born
[00:14:03] And from the moment that I woke up again to this beautiful bonus round that I'm living now
[00:14:14] Awesome, continue along with the book
[00:14:17] I guess we wanted siblings but that proved a particularly elusive goal marked with a lot of loss
[00:14:23] The hardest was a stillborn baby boy when I was four
[00:14:26] I'd been over the moon about getting a little brother and crushed when it didn't happen
[00:14:29] But you can imagine how devastated my parents were
[00:14:32] To lose a child and feel completely powerless as it is happening has got to be one of life's greatest agonies
[00:14:39] Finally two months after my six birthday my mom gave birth to twin boys
[00:14:43] They named Price and Peyton and I was smitten I could not imagine anything in the world more special than getting two siblings
[00:14:52] It once I could not have been prouder
[00:14:55] When I have three older kids and
[00:14:59] When they when my youngest was so they were seven like seven nine and eleven or something like that or six eight and ten
[00:15:06] And we were we found out that my wife was pregnant we were having another kid and it was Halloween
[00:15:13] And we decided we were going to tell them you know Halloween then we can go out trick or treating it be fun
[00:15:18] So we set the kids down and we we say we've got some really exciting news for you all
[00:15:23] You know you're going to have another baby brother or sister and
[00:15:27] Their reaction the oldest daughter literally stood up and started crying and ran to a room that made my middle daughter stand up and go to her
[00:15:37] I've been my son just started crying right there in the spot
[00:15:41] It was like we delivered in the world
[00:15:44] I was kind of sad well that was exactly what we were looking for what we expected
[00:15:48] I was hoping for the Kyle Carpenter reaction like yay this is awesome
[00:15:52] But no that whole thing I don't know what it well I still haven't quite figured it out
[00:15:58] I don't know if they were jealous. I think they might I think my oldest daughter who is very sensitive about like money
[00:16:05] And you know I was in the Navy we didn't have a ton of money. We lived in Southern California
[00:16:08] She don't have a Navy's not a lot of money in Southern California. I think she thought to herself
[00:16:12] We're not going to be able to afford the eat
[00:16:15] She freaked out and they just made the other kids freaked out
[00:16:17] But yeah, I also have for a kid that that's a legitimate concern
[00:16:23] And I might not be able to relate to that and we'll get to it
[00:16:27] But you know after I was injured at Walter Reed especially being a
[00:16:32] Junior Marine that I had done one three month appointment
[00:16:37] If you want to call it that before I went to Afghanistan and
[00:16:40] You know you get these pre-to-pointed breeze but you know at least on the Marine Corps side of things at the time and hopefully this book helps kind of educate
[00:16:50] And maybe
[00:16:52] Chains things up a little bit as far as protocol goes but
[00:16:57] Any in these pre-to-pointed breeze it's kind of like they tell you okay
[00:17:03] Well here's what's going to happen if you come back
[00:17:05] And thankfully okay with your unit or here's what is going to happen and how it's going to go if you come back in a box
[00:17:13] And there's not really that in between so
[00:17:16] Being ignorant or military medicine especially that some of who are going to be down the road some of my best doctors that saved my life and my limbs
[00:17:26] And kept me here
[00:17:28] They were going to be wearing camouflage
[00:17:31] Air force army Navy doctors
[00:17:33] But to wake up and not know
[00:17:37] That military medicine world is out there along with the injuries disorientation and
[00:17:46] The medication which probably was the no one factor
[00:17:51] I had a extremely hard time trying to come out of
[00:17:55] The ICU fog and hallucinations thinking that my parents had lost everything had spent everything
[00:18:03] Couldn't provide those meals and food on the table for my brothers
[00:18:08] And of course everything thankfully was covered
[00:18:13] I think it cost a little a little bit to put a hinty down the back together again
[00:18:18] But yeah, you know, I think it as a kid
[00:18:21] For some reason you worry about this kind of crazy live situations
[00:18:28] But I was thinking that story is going to go a little bit better than it did
[00:18:34] And you know what my daughter didn't realize is that an extra pack of ramen noodles didn't cost that
[00:18:42] Alright, so getting to you a little bit I was obsessed with any kind of physical challenge
[00:18:46] So sports became a major part of my childhood aside from the birth of my brothers
[00:18:50] The thing I was most proud of was making the brand in all stars in brand in Mississippi
[00:18:54] When I was in first grade it was a coach pitched baseball league and my dad was usually throwing the balls
[00:19:02] And then you start getting into football
[00:19:05] And I always have to say this so when I'm reading chunks of this book for everyone that's listening
[00:19:09] I'm obviously not reading the whole entire book
[00:19:11] And there's this is an unbelievable book all kinds of details in there
[00:19:16] Great story telling and I don't know how much you thought about that
[00:19:20] Kyle as you wrote this but like just your story telling capability it's great. It's great story to read
[00:19:26] And so but I'm jumping around as I read this so you know
[00:19:30] You only get in part of it. That's why you have to buy the book you are worth it
[00:19:34] So here we go you're getting your your in a football now
[00:19:37] Here we go finally as summer practices between my sophomore junior years came to a close obviously I've just jumped jump to head
[00:19:44] And the starting lineup was posted on the door the football field house
[00:19:48] There was my name Kyle Carpenter strong safety and what did you weigh at this point?
[00:19:54] Maybe 140 that the most I had done it I had accomplished the thing I had dedicated the last three years of my life to pursuing
[00:20:03] I was a lady and I was all it was elating and it was also incredibly deflating
[00:20:10] We just learned that my family was moving to South Carolina in a matter of weeks
[00:20:16] So your dad worked in the
[00:20:18] Poetry industry and just like with a lot of the business world out there you move up do good things get promotions and sometimes that comes with moving around which
[00:20:33] Every other time before that kind of moving across the southeast and gradually making it South Carolina
[00:20:42] Every other time before that was an adventure
[00:20:46] There's always the
[00:20:49] I guess nerves and kind of dread of going and walking into that class as the new kid especially in elementary middle school years
[00:21:01] But this time just
[00:21:04] Not only knowing that I was going to have to restart in a way halfway through high school, but also
[00:21:11] I high school football now in the grand scheme of life
[00:21:17] Isn't a deal breaker by any means, but at the time
[00:21:22] Just having committed and devoted you know every ounce of myself
[00:21:28] It was either class or I was working towards that goal as a starter
[00:21:33] From eighth grade until tenth grade and the summer after tenth grade
[00:21:36] And that was that was hard on me just that in addition to knowing I was going to have to start over
[00:21:44] Not only that but the school that I was starting over at was the first two story high school I'd ever seen
[00:21:50] I mean they had fake
[00:21:52] Fake painted doors on the wall saw that you know dumb freshman would kind of walk towards those and you know it was a massive school
[00:22:00] So you know 900 thousand a class so
[00:22:03] That was daunting in itself, but you know to have have a move right after
[00:22:08] Seeing that strong safety posted on the door or it was tough
[00:22:12] Yeah, you kind of went from you also kind of went from
[00:22:16] The small the big fish and the small pond or at least a medium sized fish and in a small pond
[00:22:22] Into interviewing a tiny fish in a giant pond
[00:22:26] This is what it felt like here going back to the book the reputation I'd worked so hard to cultivate with my coaches back in Savannah met nothing here
[00:22:34] A guy who would always show up ready for practice and give a hundred percent someone who didn't get into fit fights or get put on academic probation
[00:22:40] No one knew how hard I worked or how delicate how how dedicated I'd been over the past few years to develop as a leader
[00:22:47] Basically no one at my new school knew my character. It wasn't anyone's fault
[00:22:50] It was just the way the chips fell I was starting from scratch as a guy weighing 135 pounds trying out for football at one of the largest high schools in the state
[00:23:01] I'm rarely someone who gives up, but at that moment I just couldn't see the point
[00:23:05] It wasn't worth it to me to continue making it my life's mission to earn a starting spot on a team where none of the coaches even knew my name
[00:23:13] I've always been an optimist, but that doesn't mean you can't be a realist too
[00:23:17] Realistically I knew I would graduate before I ever saw the field earlier than the fourth quarter so I quit
[00:23:24] And the following months that decision
[00:23:27] And the following months following that decision
[00:23:31] Remained to this day one of the lowest periods of my life. I hadn't just lost. I had given up the opposite of who I was for the first time in my life
[00:23:38] I felt like I didn't have a purpose
[00:23:40] Yeah, you know, you said it seems like no big deal, you know high school football or whatever
[00:23:46] This is one of the reasons that I've written a bunch of kids books one of the reasons that I wrote a bunch of kids books is because one day I was talking to my kids
[00:23:54] One of my kids about something and what I realized, you know, I was like in the military and we had wars going on
[00:24:01] And I was worried about you know big things like that life and death and war
[00:24:05] And I was talking to one of my kids about something and I forget what it was, but I realized that
[00:24:11] For a kid like what's going on in their world is the biggest thing in the world
[00:24:16] It's the biggest thing in the world and when you're when you work that hard to play high school football and you make the starting team
[00:24:21] And now I've said you can't even play anymore that's your whole world that's your whole world
[00:24:26] And that's the situation you're in and your dad
[00:24:29] And notice that and he recognized that there was an opportunity that there was a little one-a private school out in the middle, nowhere
[00:24:40] And he asked you if you wanted to go visit it and so you went out and checked out a Y-men King Academy
[00:24:47] Tiny K through 12 Christian school
[00:24:50] How small, how small was that? Like were we talking to 25 kids in the class?
[00:24:54] We're talking three lunch ladies hand-made lunch for every student K through 12
[00:25:02] We prepared the football fields, the baseball fields, we painted the lines
[00:25:12] We raked the insolent, we built the new football field house
[00:25:17] We built the new weight room and did everything but probably because I was a 135 pounds
[00:25:23] Bring all the weight down so
[00:25:25] But no, it was amazing and just good small town genuine
[00:25:32] Patriotic people and
[00:25:36] Everyone you know those those
[00:25:39] Trupt row and the insolent of the games where the girls would be set up and all the guys with
[00:25:46] Camouflage on and still turkey blood all over their pants
[00:25:53] We're coming watch the game on Friday night and you know I didn't remember all the time
[00:26:00] And you know I've been in big public schools my whole life and you know everything from the uniforms to clear backpacks
[00:26:09] So I get to this school and
[00:26:11] And I feel like I fit in right away and it was amazing but at the same time
[00:26:19] It was a very different world than what I had experienced and what I thought was was normal school
[00:26:26] And I remember one time it was
[00:26:29] We hadn't even started the day we were kind of in a home room
[00:26:33] And this kind of incert comes in
[00:26:36] Bigger had been turkey hunting that morning before school
[00:26:42] And had a big knife on it and it was just kind of like hey you know you can't have that year
[00:26:50] Let's take it back out to your truck like oh, yeah, sorry I forgot I was turkey out in this morning
[00:26:55] Now's it time to start the day so it was a different experience but one that I'm forever thankful for
[00:27:03] At the time you know I was just
[00:27:11] I guess you could say in such a bad place
[00:27:14] I just thought it was more of a you know why not
[00:27:18] Then I want to go check this out and I think it could be good for me
[00:27:22] You know but once I did I immediately
[00:27:25] felt welcome and loved in that family and from day one I feel like I thrived and
[00:27:30] Just again met some really amazing people that I still keep in touch with the day and that still
[00:27:37] Show me that same amount of love and support as they did on that first day and it's actually not in the book another example of how small it is
[00:27:47] You know and through the writing in the contract we had 75,000 words
[00:27:52] But as we went along through the two years you know you really dive into deep thought and self-reflection
[00:28:01] And then you kind of start branching off remembering different stories and examples in the story you've already given
[00:28:08] And we took out the ham sandwich story
[00:28:12] But my nickname to these three amazing lunch ladies was ham sandwich because sometimes in the morning
[00:28:19] I would sneak in there and the back of the kitchen and make me a couple
[00:28:24] But that does anything that's a small one
[00:28:28] Oh, God comes ham sandwich again. Do not get breakfast like yeah, so I think so the two hands sandwich is I'll pay you later
[00:28:36] But don't let that
[00:28:38] Did you did you transfer did you already start at the other big school and go there for a few weeks and then leave?
[00:28:44] I did I went the first semester of junior year. Okay, and then I transferred I guess during Christmas break
[00:28:54] I spent a year and a half at King but it was a great year and a half
[00:28:58] Yeah, that's awesome
[00:29:00] So that meant you were going to show up with only one more year to play football as well. Correct. Okay, you got a couple other cool
[00:29:06] Things to mention in here you would get guest speakers would come in and you say this one who had their greatest impact me on me was a Vietnam veteran named Cleab
[00:29:16] McCleary my saying that right yes
[00:29:19] While serving the Marines in 1968, Cleab took heavy shrapnel from a grenade that cost him his left eye
[00:29:23] And his left arm at the elbow now he and his wife run a nonprofit focused on helping military families navigate the stresses and challenges of deployment and combat injuries
[00:29:35] At the time I wasn't as taking with the fact that he had been a Marine or wounded in battle as I was with the fact that he was someone who really understood how to live
[00:29:46] Despite his advancing age and significant injuries he was still active engaged and dynamic
[00:29:51] If ever there was someone who had an excuse to throw in the towel it was Cleab but he didn't
[00:29:57] I was an off his spirit that that's someone who had been through so much could create an incredible life not only in spite of but because of his experiences
[00:30:09] So that's obviously something that stuck with you and then you had a football coach coach do little was a great teacher
[00:30:15] And there was really funny with the students but he was also absolutely he would also absolutely destroy you in the past on the practice field
[00:30:22] You know how to push you beyond what you thought was possible so that you ended up capable of stuff you never thought you imagined you could do
[00:30:30] And here's how you wrapped up I finished the season with over 2,200 yards and offense more than 20 touchdowns and three kickoff returns for touchdowns
[00:30:38] It was a different kind of game from playing at a big school but I loved it
[00:30:41] In fact the year I was able to play for King Academy my senior year we went to the state championships using losing in the finals in double overtime day
[00:30:51] It was a good one. It was a really good one
[00:30:57] And
[00:31:01] Yeah, I mean I'm just I'm thankful for that experience. I wish I would have had longer
[00:31:06] But you know better late than never so it was it was good. Yeah, it's an interesting call decision to leave the big school and go to the little school
[00:31:16] That's that's a tough decision for people to make right and
[00:31:22] You know it's one of those ones while I'm this close to being done forget about it, but you you know you made that tough decision as a kid
[00:31:29] That's a tough decision to make it was it was
[00:31:31] It was and maybe thankfully at the time I was
[00:31:36] So I guess bummed out that it helped me make that decision, but also
[00:31:43] You know looking back over my life, especially that time period moving around
[00:31:49] like
[00:31:51] with
[00:31:53] all
[00:31:54] Great and beautiful lessons in life a lot of times those come from the hardest and darkest of days and so now looking back
[00:32:04] And you know my dad has has struggled before and maybe still does a little with the fact that
[00:32:11] You know maybe moving me around so much and and you know the fact that I was unhappy during that
[00:32:17] Influential time in my life that that kind of led me to join the military
[00:32:31] But as I told him and and as I truly feel and believe
[00:32:38] That moving around
[00:32:40] And and you know being forced to meet new people being forced and new uncomfortable situation circumstances
[00:32:51] Now looking back I feel like all of those times
[00:32:54] Conditioning maybe isn't the right word but they prepared me for a life of service
[00:33:08] For a life of service which
[00:33:14] You know really means a life of the unknown
[00:33:17] And to join and I don't think until you know you go through the things that you do through your life of service
[00:33:27] You can fully comprehend or get mentally prepared or ready for
[00:33:31] So just to know
[00:33:34] Hey, I know what I know I know I am
[00:33:38] I might not know it's coming next but I'm going to confidently
[00:33:42] Step forward anyway
[00:33:43] So I am thankful for all of those moves and and all those good and bad days
[00:33:51] Because I do believe it'll it gave me essential tools
[00:33:55] To step into that unknown and join the Marine Corps
[00:34:03] Yeah, you know going going
[00:34:07] Refer back to your parents again here
[00:34:09] The example my parents that was instrumental in shaping who I became and how I engaged the world
[00:34:16] Everything in our home was about developing character humility and resilience
[00:34:20] My parents focused on raising my brothers and me to be functional
[00:34:24] Rational contributing members of society
[00:34:27] Even as they let us enjoy amazing childhoods
[00:34:31] They always had an eye on what sort of adults they wanted us to become
[00:34:34] Chore charts and church trips were a given
[00:34:39] We were expected to take responsible for responsibility for making the house run smoothly
[00:34:45] And we were encouraged to be involved with our community
[00:34:48] Life was more about
[00:34:50] Life was about more than what we could take out of it
[00:34:54] It was about making a difference
[00:34:56] Not necessarily on some global scale
[00:34:58] But by improving someone's day or helping to lift someone up
[00:35:06] Those are like the values you were just talking about
[00:35:11] And then you say this and you kind of talked about this already
[00:35:14] But you say I realize there are many people
[00:35:17] Out there who weren't as fortunate enough to have the kind of stable loving parents that I was blessed with
[00:35:22] Which which is why I don't take my family for granted
[00:35:25] There's something to be said for the so called all American childhood
[00:35:31] Respect your father, love your mama, stick tight to your brothers
[00:35:36] Always do your best, always be honest and never talk back
[00:35:40] Like any family ours wasn't perfect
[00:35:44] But it absolutely gave me the foundation I needed to become the adult I wanted to be
[00:35:48] As the saying goes my parents gave me roots and wings
[00:35:57] And none of us had any idea how important both those gifts would prove to be
[00:36:01] I'd actually never heard that term before roots and wings
[00:36:04] But that's a good one that's a good little dichotomy there
[00:36:07] You know give them roots and wings
[00:36:09] The other thing that that is awesome about this
[00:36:13] It's kind of like what I was talking about earlier here you are from this
[00:36:18] You know, picturesque family of love and support
[00:36:23] And yet you still were raised in a way that you were willing to
[00:36:29] You know to step up and make us sacrifice and I'm not talking about you know jumping or
[00:36:33] I'm just talking about joining the Marine Corps just that right there
[00:36:37] You know there's I guess what I'm thinking about is the stereotypical spoiled kid
[00:36:41] That's never going to do anything like that
[00:36:44] Didn't it doesn't have to be that way right and the other the other thing I like about this is
[00:36:49] Respect your respect your father love your mama stick tight to your brothers always do your best always be honest never talk back
[00:36:55] There's kids that there's kids that look at a kid like that
[00:37:00] And they think all that that kids a whip or that kids, you know, what's the word I'm looking for that kids, you know a goody two shoes
[00:37:06] Right or a square something like that and what you're proof that
[00:37:15] That's wrong actually you know that this that you can be raised that way and you can be tough as nails
[00:37:22] Because I think the reputation of someone that would say those things
[00:37:28] Let me pretty this way I got a 16 year old son he wouldn't say those things because he'd think I don't want my friends to think
[00:37:33] I don't want my friends to think I'm you know soft I'm done you know, that's the way it is you know he wouldn't say love your mama
[00:37:40] Maybe what a little bit
[00:37:42] But you know it kind of sounds like oh this person's just a square a goody two shoes
[00:37:49] And it's like oh guess what and you know I I've actually explained this to people before
[00:37:54] Because you know in the in the military we get people from every background in life
[00:37:58] Every different background in life everything kids from the ghetto kids from the hood kids from the farm
[00:38:05] And here's the deal kids from good families kids from no families kids that don't have a family at all
[00:38:11] And they all end up in the military and it's you still even with all those diverse backgrounds it's hard to predict
[00:38:19] One a person's actually going to be like what what what that person is actually going to be like and you know you meet some kid from the hood
[00:38:29] And
[00:38:30] Versus some kid from a farm somewhere versus some kid that went to a private school as whole life and you know had a fantasy about being in the seal team so he enlisted
[00:38:38] Even though his dad you know has 10 houses, but that's what he does and you just can't tell what that person's character is going to be like based on how they were raised
[00:38:47] That's that's just the way it is. I don't know if you notice that but absolutely absolutely from every background
[00:38:55] And you get you might have a rich kid that's a total
[00:38:58] Loser in your team or you might have a rich kid that's great. I had a guy who was
[00:39:06] He was wealthy beyond wealthy right you like you he had more money his family had more money then you
[00:39:13] Oh, then a family could ever need in 20 generations like we're talking generational wealth
[00:39:21] And I didn't know it
[00:39:23] He was he was in there. He's a heart somebody asked me about him. They said, what do you think of this guy and I said, oh, he's he's great
[00:39:29] He's you know, it's hard workers great new guys putting out he's making stuff happen and they wasn't it weird
[00:39:34] And I was like isn't what weird and they said isn't it just so weird that he's like that and I said
[00:39:38] That he's like what why is it weird and they said well you know what his last name is right and I said yeah
[00:39:45] But I didn't connect the last name with the last name and it turns out. Yeah, they said this guy he he's got
[00:39:52] Unlimited money basically and I never would have known it a million years because he was just a hard work and head down guy that
[00:39:59] Was just had enlisted in the dang seal teams. That's awesome and you would never know that so
[00:40:05] That's what I think this this calls out to me, you know, is that this type of attitude that gets frowned upon
[00:40:15] And I guess that's a little bit of what you know when you were saying you didn't even know if you were to write about this stuff
[00:40:20] That's what I'm getting at like you say and I don't know if I'm right about this because it's a little bit but some people might you know not connect with it
[00:40:28] It's like hey, it's okay
[00:40:29] You should connect with it. You can you should what people should do is look at the positive look at the positive things behind this, you know, that's what I think
[00:40:39] And I think it's awesome that you did write about it and what did you say here you actually you you said that there's something to be said for it right cool
[00:40:49] Great
[00:40:50] That's amazing that you took that from it and I appreciate you telling me this because and I've never talked about this before but I always
[00:41:02] Just to myself and my head battle with the classic
[00:41:08] You know, the nice guys finish last argument because for my entire life my mom has always said you know you're
[00:41:16] You're your biggest weakness and this was not in a negative way but more just
[00:41:24] Just wanting to look out for me, you know being too trusting of people being too nice
[00:41:31] And so
[00:41:34] You know kind of playing off this you know should I be a little more hardcore a little more aggressive a little more not me
[00:41:42] Because you know, I need to be in this world, but you know, I've
[00:41:50] I believe learn and realize over time that
[00:41:55] And this is just me personally, but
[00:41:59] You know, I should I do
[00:42:05] You know deeply care about people
[00:42:08] And
[00:42:09] You know, I
[00:42:12] I do feel like maybe I'm a little t-nice at times, but
[00:42:17] You know, for
[00:42:20] That one time every once in a while that I might get walked all over you know, there's a hundred times that
[00:42:28] I'm thankful and
[00:42:33] And proud of myself for
[00:42:35] You know, always you know really
[00:42:39] Striving to
[00:42:41] Treat every single person no matter what the circumstance with love and respect and now
[00:42:48] You know
[00:42:50] I'm starting to get a little bit of gray just turn 30
[00:42:53] Lookin over this long you know salty life
[00:42:56] I
[00:42:57] Looking back, you know, I do feel like now I'm finally starting to get to a place where
[00:43:02] Looking back, I do realize that
[00:43:06] It's not a bad thing at all to
[00:43:11] Be
[00:43:13] If you want to say soft or
[00:43:16] A square or you know, whatever it is and
[00:43:20] When the times as a marine in Afghanistan
[00:43:25] When I've
[00:43:27] Needed to be when I was called upon
[00:43:29] When that was appropriate for that situation and that mission
[00:43:34] I feel like
[00:43:37] Going into a room first with the saw
[00:43:40] Kicking in the door
[00:43:42] I have a couple of hand grenades on my
[00:43:45] On my plate carrier
[00:43:47] You know, I
[00:43:49] That was me at that time, but now
[00:43:52] I do feel like I've gotten it as far as I have in life and I've done as well as I have
[00:43:57] Obviously with the amazing support team and the people that picked me out when I stumbled
[00:44:03] You know, but
[00:44:05] Aside from that, I do feel like
[00:44:09] My softness, I guess
[00:44:12] Has
[00:44:13] Got me to an incredible place in life
[00:44:17] You know, there's a saying
[00:44:19] Which I was thinking of as you were talking about that
[00:44:22] The saying is and I know you've heard it before because I know I have
[00:44:25] The saying is don't mistake kindness for weakness
[00:44:30] And if you think about why that saying exists
[00:44:33] That saying exists for two reasons
[00:44:37] One because people do mistake kindness for weakness
[00:44:42] People see someone that's nice and kind and I think
[00:44:45] All that person's a pushover
[00:44:47] So that's one reason that statement exists
[00:44:50] The other reason that that statement exists
[00:44:52] Is they're saying don't do that because it's a mistake
[00:44:56] Because kindness is not weakness
[00:44:59] In fact, kindness takes strength
[00:45:02] And when you have that person that has that internal
[00:45:06] Fertitude
[00:45:08] And they have the self assurance that they don't need to
[00:45:11] You know, what makes someone walk around with their chest
[00:45:13] You know, push out, act and like they're tough
[00:45:16] Most of the time those tough guys are act and like they're tough
[00:45:18] Because they're insecure about something
[00:45:19] That's what's going on
[00:45:21] And so when people actually have
[00:45:25] When people are kind, it's because they're secure
[00:45:27] I can tell you like I train you jitsu
[00:45:30] I'm way nicer
[00:45:32] I started training jitsu when I was
[00:45:34] I started training was 20 something
[00:45:37] I became nicer and nicer and nicer
[00:45:40] The more I train jitsu
[00:45:42] Because I realized oh yeah, I don't need to act like a puff guy
[00:45:45] I don't need to walk around like some intimidating
[00:45:47] No, it's like oh I know how to fight
[00:45:50] Somebody wants to bother me then I can handle it
[00:45:52] But I really don't want to
[00:45:54] Because I don't need to right so I think that idea of
[00:45:57] Mistaking kindness for weaknesses
[00:45:59] There's a reason why that term gets said and there's a reason why you best he did that
[00:46:04] And the other thing is you know when you just talked about well, I'll say this
[00:46:08] Kindness may
[00:46:11] Have a negative impact in the short term sometimes
[00:46:14] I think that's what you're talking about
[00:46:17] Oh, oh this person kind of got what they wanted in that immediate short term thing
[00:46:22] Somebody, oh here's somebody cut in front of the line
[00:46:26] And instead of me being like hey
[00:46:28] Go to the back line and say you know what I'm not going to say anything
[00:46:31] It's fine, and you know I think do I self-ful that person's probably going to be somewhere
[00:46:34] Who knows what they've got going on in their life whatever they got kids or whatever
[00:46:38] So fine
[00:46:40] They might win in that situation right there
[00:46:42] But over the long term
[00:46:44] Being kind of people and helping people out of me and look at the support network that you just talked about
[00:46:49] Those people were supporting you
[00:46:51] Obviously they're doing it because they're good people but they're also doing it because you're a good person
[00:46:57] You know that little extra effort when they say hey this guy's a good human being this guy said, hi me this guy was nice to me this guy didn't flip out when I made a mistake like okay
[00:47:06] That long term that kindness is going to win every single time at long term like I said short term there's going to be some some
[00:47:17] Jerk that's going to walk around and push around and it's like okay everyone just saw what just happened and when you come back here into the store or into the situation and you want a little extra help from somebody
[00:47:29] It's just you're not going to get what you want
[00:47:31] You know I used to I was the admels aid for a while and I used to have to book us travel. Yeah, no pressure no pressure and just sit just see me back to I
[00:47:45] I will not just go plain take it. I'll go back to Iraq and hard beef
[00:47:51] But you know he's a great guy a nice guy, but you know you want to take care of the bosses guy that's in charge of all the seals and I want to make his life easy so I would be booking travel
[00:47:58] And you know we'd get bad seats like on an aircraft
[00:48:03] And I would call up the the dang help desk of
[00:48:08] Delta or of America whoever whatever airline and I would spend at least the first like two minutes of saying hey, how you do you know they'd say how can I help you and I'd say oh
[00:48:18] How you do and I'm just setting up some travel and I'd make some little small talk and I'd be nice to him and I guarantee you like the chances of success when you were just nice to people just just just be nice to him
[00:48:29] And they'd say well, you know for the first response, but I know this is eats all our books. I'm like I'd say you know, ah wow
[00:48:36] Is there anything I could do because I got my bottle. I'd usually complain about my boss. That's how it connect with them. I'd say you know my boss is going to
[00:48:44] I work for this guy and he's can be a bit harsh which was actually not true. So I'll tell him a little white lie
[00:48:50] Yeah, as soon as I was as soon as they related to me as like someone that was just a work and nug like they were
[00:48:57] You know what I can get you an upgrade or hey, let me get you a window or whatever and they just take care of me just by being nice you know
[00:49:04] Where I was I guarantee you you get on the phone with someone at an airline and you start saying look I booked these sheets two weeks ago
[00:49:10] You need to give me the seat I want there's no positive. You're actually doing on the next slide. You're not even on that
[00:49:17] Not window not out you're on the next one. You're a middle seat 47th row. You're in the car.
[00:49:25] But you know that's you're exactly right and I couldn't have said it better and with all that said I always kind of forget like you know the biggest piece of this and you know
[00:49:36] After getting hit with a grenade, you know, it's okay people. I think on nice. I feel like hopefully that in a cell gives me a little bit of street cred, you know
[00:49:49] Yeah, that gives you some credit. Yes, I
[00:49:56] I'm going to hammer on your parents a little bit more. We'll not hammer on them, but bring them up a little bit more. My parents did not believe in shortcuts
[00:50:03] And I always claimed I believe the same thing until I was 18. My dad got me a job at the chicken processing plant where he worked
[00:50:12] I figured I would get some kind of an airman boy starting the coffee in the mornings
[00:50:17] Maybe filling some paperwork or answering phones in the air conditioned office
[00:50:22] Dad didn't pull any strings though
[00:50:25] And I was definitely not the boss's son. I was Kyle the new hire
[00:50:30] And you go into that, you know, it's obviously it's it's real hard work real hard work. Very hard work
[00:50:39] And this is what you get out of it. This is again looking at life of how what can I learn and you know you were saying earlier that all these different situations that you've been in that's what prepare you for the future
[00:50:50] And this is one of them as awful as I thought that job was I developed a whole new appreciation not only for the value, but also the importance of hard work
[00:50:57] It was sobering for me to realize first hand how many hard working people do a job that allows us to grab food and a store without giving a second thought to how it got there
[00:51:07] So you're you're you're learning about work, you know, this is this is what it is
[00:51:12] And also learn to appreciate once again, you know what we talk about being raised in a sheltered situation
[00:51:18] You know, that's that's what that is you don't understand what goes into that
[00:51:23] Chicken patty that's coming on to your plate at night, you know, we get a factory up in Maine and there's what we make close, you know, and you people don't realize oh somebody somebody made that somebody showed that
[00:51:37] You know, many people you know, stitched their fingers and injured themselves just trying to make a pair of jeans or a time away from their family
[00:51:44] Exactly, of course it's a job, but still yeah there's there's real sacrifices out there in the world
[00:51:49] And it's and that's what America's made of by the way, that's what America is is hard working people that that put chicken patties on your plate and put a pair of jeans in your drawer
[00:52:02] And then you also start getting some leadership skills here. I also gained an important and important mentor in my supervisor Rodney Taylor
[00:52:11] He was in charge of of sanitation for the plant and a leader like none I had met before
[00:52:16] Before he was rough around the edges and authentic he rolled up his sleeves and worked alongside his team whenever an extra set of hands was needed
[00:52:25] He wasn't above-grime or hard work since workers at the plant were from various walks of life
[00:52:30] He learned to relate to his people in order to be able to communicate effectively with them rather than getting frustrated at the differences in everyone's backgrounds
[00:52:39] He believed that his workers would respect him more if he was able to connect with them directly
[00:52:46] He also believed that they would do their job their own job more efficiently if they weren't afraid to ask him for clarification
[00:52:55] That's a little decentralized command, you know, hey boss why are we doing this can you explain this to me?
[00:53:01] Yeah, oh absolutely and by the way I'll communicate to you in a way that's respectful that you'll understand that you can relate to these are these are really good lessons learned from the chicken factory
[00:53:12] Yeah, and also two more things he had this guy that worked on your kind of his right hand man and I although I did see him get out get dirty, you know get down on his hands and these work show us how to do certain things and supervise
[00:53:29] for every one time he left his office, you know that guy his right hand man came in 15, 20 times a day
[00:53:38] And so now after earning that title becoming a marine seeing how the marine core military as as far as effective communication and
[00:53:50] delegating I see what was going on there now and also a big portion of the workforce at that chicken factory was from the Hispanic community Mexican Americans and
[00:54:07] after he got that position he would bring his workers in while he was working on learning Spanish himself
[00:54:18] Bring it a man all day just asking him questions, you know how do you conjugate this how do you say this and he got to where he was completely fluent and he did that now I realize because
[00:54:30] he needed the most effective communication he didn't need anything he couldn't afford that anything
[00:54:38] Walson translation just because you know and learn a second language and it's no joke
[00:54:44] Of course he could have got you know is right hand man and there got you know any number of people out of the plant to help him out with that
[00:54:51] But he wanted to do that he wanted to take ownership of that position and those under him and so through that and and just those simple lessons and him telling me
[00:55:05] Just stories which now don't seem anywhere near as crazy but stories from his service and many of them were but just
[00:55:16] You know things that unless you enter our world
[00:55:22] You know on the other side of it are not only powerful but incredible to listen to to think about to try to even not don't think you're
[00:55:33] Effectively can but to try to you know visualize or put yourself in those situations like
[00:55:46] You know running to your objective what are you talking about right now but just things like that that is leadership along with those stories of
[00:56:01] You know perseverance and just aggressiveness and determination all of that and it together made me
[00:56:11] Not only realize what a leader could be
[00:56:15] But also
[00:56:19] You know
[00:56:21] When a debt seed started that fire and kind of gave me that burning of of knowing that there is more out there and seeing what maybe with hard work and dedication
[00:56:38] I could become not his specifically but just how he carried himself
[00:56:42] And the way he you know even as sanitation supervisor at a culture processing facility you know that leadership that he brought everyday and
[00:56:55] How all of those under him were not only structured but extremely effective and I never
[00:57:03] I hung out in office a lot probably because I got so many cool stories but you know I never and maybe they wouldn't have come in and
[00:57:13] Repremanded him or talked him about business in front of me anyway, but not always heard about issues with QA with you know
[00:57:22] I go down the list of all the pieces that help make this company but it was never hey we need to start from the beginning sanitize the plant again everybody knew what they were doing how to do it
[00:57:36] And they knew they worked hard and did it right and had that effective communication
[00:57:42] That everyone was going to not only complete the mission but
[00:57:45] I hope we get out of there at a decent time but were you conscious of these things as it was happening or is this you look back and you go wow I learned this there and I learned this there or at the time were you saying hey this guy is a good leader
[00:58:00] Definitely at the time but I think like with most things I realized a lot more now looking back than I did at the time but I knew that
[00:58:16] It was
[00:58:19] Special and different
[00:58:22] And it was unique what I was experiencing and learning at that time
[00:58:27] And he was prior military rank or oh damn yeah, okay, so now we start putting the pieces together
[00:58:35] And also where the most creative swear I've ever heard comes into play so
[00:58:43] Little little shocking dear years
[00:58:46] Yeah, my little deviated you know, yeah, that's awesome
[00:58:52] So some people can do it pretty well and you can definitely get a good background in creative swearing in the United States Marine Corps
[00:59:00] I was impressed yes, you can't he had a PhD I think I'm just you know maybe bachelor's or master's level
[00:59:09] I never sworn front of my kids but I would take my son to training sites when I was training guys and the teams and platoons and
[00:59:18] I think the first time he
[00:59:21] Listen to me give a debrief to a seal-potune
[00:59:24] His eyes were as big as sauce or plates man because I you know they start running away crying like he's playing when he fell like he's getting the new brother
[00:59:32] He thought that was he was like wow that that must have been some serious talk right there
[00:59:38] You can see the look on his face. It was pretty funny. Yeah, but just like we were talking about you know, there's a time and place for everything
[00:59:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah, even my
[00:59:47] Platoon commanders are guys at work for me like get they come over to my house and I never swear in my house, you know, not never front swear in front of my kids and and they come over and they'd be like how do you do that?
[00:59:58] And I just you know, it's like no, kids wearing front you can't have your kids running on square your kids will imitate you and you can't have that so
[01:00:06] So
[01:00:07] You start getting
[01:00:09] Done with you know high school and you start looking at college and and that's sort of
[01:00:17] The expected path but
[01:00:19] You're you're seeing your year was what 2007 is that when you graduated?
[01:00:24] 2008
[01:00:26] 2008 so we're talking the war is on I mean it's on and
[01:00:32] And well, you say this and here in the book around the world terrorist activity was increasing
[01:00:40] From the London some way bombings in 2005 that killed 52 people and wounded about almost 700 to the Mumbai train bombings in 2006 that killed nearly 200 people and injured more than 800
[01:00:51] Every time I turned on the news it seemed like the world was in chaos
[01:00:54] War is awful and I believe it should be a last resort but sometimes it can be the only way to restore some kind of order and help those in need
[01:01:04] It seemed to me that the United States military had a mission to do exactly that and I fit the bill of someone who could contribute to that effort
[01:01:12] Young, healthy, fit, willing to be challenged any eager to be part of something bigger than myself
[01:01:19] It was that last part that affected me the most
[01:01:21] As I considered what my life might look like if I took a different path
[01:01:27] I found myself increasingly disillusioned with the traditional expected path
[01:01:33] The more I looked around it colleges the more I detached and began to feel
[01:01:38] The more detached I began to feel from the whole experience
[01:01:42] I could definitely see the appeal for many people but it wasn't where I felt I needed to be at that point in my life
[01:01:47] I turned 19 in October and had been sitting in classrooms my entire life
[01:01:53] There were some major events in the course of human history going on in the world at that time
[01:01:59] I wanted to get out and do something
[01:02:03] So you start thinking about it
[01:02:08] And you talk about it with your parents
[01:02:11] And that, how was that?
[01:02:15] Your mom wasn't too stoked on that, why so?
[01:02:19] That was a difficult to say the least part of my journey
[01:02:26] And, you know, to for a couple of months after I had initially kind of broke the news on what I was really thinking about
[01:02:39] And considering like you said, we were in a time of two serious conflicts
[01:02:51] And who knows where things were going to go from there with all of these terrible and just unreal things happening around the world
[01:03:00] And for a couple of months you know, to see my mom in the morning
[01:03:08] I dreaded walking into the living room and seeing her eyes red and swollen
[01:03:14] And knowing that she had been crying through the night to herself
[01:03:19] Because she was so scared and so concerned
[01:03:22] For if I was going to do this, you know, at the time I think she was thinking hopefully not
[01:03:27] But if I was going to do this, knowing that her son, her oldest son, could be putting her arms away or kill him
[01:03:39] But, you know, after a couple of months
[01:03:45] I sat them down and
[01:03:49] You know, yes, I agreed that one day I was going to get my degree
[01:03:54] I was going to go back to school that that was a priority
[01:03:59] But that was a priority that I could complete at that moment
[01:04:03] Or 30 years down the road
[01:04:06] And I know a lot of people say that and then they eventually don't go and just kind of the classic
[01:04:11] I'm going to do this and then it doesn't really work out for whatever reason
[01:04:16] But that was kind of second day
[01:04:18] I sat them down one day and when I told them
[01:04:24] And after I obviously took the time to think self-reflect and truly
[01:04:31] Decide if this is not only what's right for me but what's meant for me
[01:04:39] When I decided that and I sat them down and I told them
[01:04:42] This is not just what I want to do with my life but this is what I need to do and I have to do
[01:04:54] And not only do I feel called to do this but
[01:05:03] No matter what happens, this is my decision
[01:05:08] And this is the path that leads for now that that deep down inside
[01:05:15] I need for myself
[01:05:18] When I told them that they've always loved and supported me but in that moment
[01:05:23] As tough as it was
[01:05:26] They gave me a hug and from that moment on they were serving with me
[01:05:31] And they've always been
[01:05:33] Again they've always supported me but
[01:05:35] I guess
[01:05:41] That moment that conversation and then hearing that I
[01:05:45] Believe it was my purpose
[01:05:48] I think that ended the
[01:05:51] Period
[01:05:53] And maybe Denial is not the right word but the period of
[01:05:56] Oh well maybe he's just thinking this is cool
[01:05:59] They just face it
[01:06:01] Did your mom or dad have any military experience
[01:06:07] Either themselves or with their parents?
[01:06:10] No one of my family except for my mom's dad
[01:06:14] Unfortunately died when I was very young
[01:06:17] So I think I have one picture with him and I definitely don't remember any conversation
[01:06:21] Were you a career military guy?
[01:06:22] He was a Navy guy
[01:06:28] But yeah I think he spent
[01:06:31] It wasn't just a four year term
[01:06:34] He spent some significant time in
[01:06:36] It seems to me like
[01:06:38] In many cases it would be harder for parents that don't
[01:06:42] Like if your kid joined the military or my kid joined the military
[01:06:46] It'd be like okay I noticed doing it
[01:06:48] I know it's like you know it's going to happen
[01:06:50] The unknown of just thinking
[01:06:54] Because what let's face it
[01:06:56] What Hollywood can portray the military to be like
[01:06:59] Is a lot different from what the military really is
[01:07:03] Yeah and not parent friendly most of the time
[01:07:06] Yeah absolutely
[01:07:08] Even you know some people
[01:07:10] They think that you're they think that 20 years
[01:07:13] In the military is 20 years in boot camp
[01:07:15] This what they think they think it's 20 years of people yelling in screaming at you and it's like no that's 13 weeks
[01:07:21] Or whatever it's a very short period of time
[01:07:24] And then you become a responsible human being that's doing stuff
[01:07:28] And that and also
[01:07:31] I mean the chances of going to war
[01:07:34] The chances of being on the front lines
[01:07:37] The chances of being an actual direct combat
[01:07:39] And then the chances of getting
[01:07:41] Actually hurt wounded or killed
[01:07:43] Or are are relatively small
[01:07:46] Compared to what it looks like in Hollywood movie
[01:07:49] You know in Hollywood movie it's like everyone's going to fight everyone's going to war
[01:07:53] Everyone's getting blown up
[01:07:55] That's what happens in the movies
[01:07:56] It's not like that in the real military
[01:07:58] So I've had plenty people ask me about that
[01:08:02] And yet
[01:08:04] The bottom line is
[01:08:06] The other side of the spectrum is people think
[01:08:08] Well that will never happen to me but I'll go in
[01:08:10] It's like no
[01:08:10] It's just what happens
[01:08:13] When you do join the military and you put your name on that line
[01:08:16] That means you have the possibility of this happening
[01:08:20] You know you could be there
[01:08:22] You could go to war
[01:08:24] You could fight you could get killed
[01:08:26] That's what that's in the
[01:08:28] That is one of the things that can happen without question
[01:08:31] And I feel like if that is a statement that you say
[01:08:34] Maybe you're not
[01:08:35] At the right place to sign on that dotted line
[01:08:40] I've told many young aspiring
[01:08:44] Seals
[01:08:46] Oh I want to be in the Sealtimes
[01:08:47] And you know they'll start asking me questions about
[01:08:50] The workouts and that kind of thing
[01:08:53] You know enjoying the Sealtimes to work out
[01:08:56] You can work out at the gym
[01:08:58] You can work out at 24 hour fitness
[01:09:00] When you join the Sealtimes
[01:09:02] What you're doing the Sealtimes to do is kill people
[01:09:06] And then when you're killing people
[01:09:08] There's going to be people that are trying to kill you
[01:09:10] And by the way sometimes they do
[01:09:12] They could kill you, they could kill your friends
[01:09:15] And they're not going to care about your six pack
[01:09:17] And you're in your workout plan
[01:09:19] No
[01:09:21] That's amazing that people come to you
[01:09:23] And you know, aspire
[01:09:25] To be something that you've accomplished
[01:09:28] But how many times have you heard I want to be a seal?
[01:09:32] Yeah, definitely a lot of times
[01:09:34] And I was just saying that yesterday
[01:09:37] You know the bottom line is most people quit
[01:09:41] 80% of people quit
[01:09:43] And that number really hasn't changed
[01:09:45] So it's cool you want to do it
[01:09:48] But how bad do you want to do it?
[01:09:51] How bad do you want to do it?
[01:09:53] Is the question then do you have the intestinal fortitude?
[01:09:54] Did you have the right mindset going into it?
[01:09:58] And again I don't care where you're from
[01:10:00] I don't care what background you're from because I've seen it
[01:10:02] Every different type of person you can imagine
[01:10:04] Make it through training and I've seen every different type of person you can imagine
[01:10:07] Quit through the training
[01:10:09] Champion wrestlers
[01:10:11] Champion athletes, quitting
[01:10:13] Ivy League people, quitting
[01:10:16] You just don't know
[01:10:17] And then you get some kid from a farm
[01:10:20] And Iowa
[01:10:22] That makes it
[01:10:22] Yeah, you know and you're like
[01:10:23] Never wanted the class
[01:10:25] And the reason I say that surprising isn't because he's farm of farm and Iowa
[01:10:28] But if you grow up in a farm and Iowa there's a decent chance you've never seen the ocean before
[01:10:31] And here you're going to be a seal
[01:10:33] So yeah
[01:10:35] It's definitely something to think about
[01:10:39] And I guess what I'm saying is from your mom's perspective
[01:10:42] There's two wars going on
[01:10:44] And you know
[01:10:46] Did you tell me you wanted to join the Marine Corps out of the gate?
[01:10:49] Did you go straight?
[01:10:50] Yeah, unfortunately that probably didn't help
[01:10:54] Did you tell me you wanted to be infantry?
[01:10:56] I didn't
[01:10:59] So I definitely didn't put this in the book
[01:11:02] But you know, always try to be open and honest
[01:11:05] No matter what the situation and
[01:11:09] And kids, I don't recommend lying to your parents
[01:11:13] But I just couldn't, I couldn't hit him with two haymakers in a row
[01:11:17] So I pulled the I was military police to start out
[01:11:23] And then ease them into it after boot camp
[01:11:26] Not really ease them at all
[01:11:28] But you know, they found out after a little bit of time to digest
[01:11:31] Just the Marine Corps piece of it
[01:11:33] Do you get a choice of an MLS in the Marine Corps now?
[01:11:37] I was a kid
[01:11:38] You joined the Marine Corps
[01:11:41] Really?
[01:11:41] Were you joined the Marine Corps
[01:11:44] And then you got whatever assignment you were going to get
[01:11:46] Everything was open contract?
[01:11:48] As far as I could tell, again, man
[01:11:52] I'm not exactly smart now when I was 18
[01:11:55] But you know, I remember talking to Marine Corps recruiter
[01:11:58] And it was like, you know, I want to be a machine gunner
[01:12:02] You know, you joined the Marine Corps
[01:12:03] Everyone was a rifleman in the Marine Corps
[01:12:05] Okay, well I want to be a machine gunner
[01:12:07] Well you might be, but you know, you need to join the Marine Corps
[01:12:09] And I never got an answer that made sense
[01:12:11] And the impression I got was you joined the Marine Corps
[01:12:14] And then you got assigned whatever you're going to get assigned
[01:12:17] I think later on
[01:12:19] They started saying, okay, we need to start
[01:12:21] Allowing people to have some say over where they end up
[01:12:24] But thankfully
[01:12:26] Things have changed
[01:12:27] Yeah, good
[01:12:28] So did you
[01:12:30] Did you actually ever have military police as your MLS
[01:12:34] Or was that just fabricated completely?
[01:12:36] And I used the word
[01:12:39] Yeah, yeah, no
[01:12:41] Definitely not officially, actually
[01:12:42] But I did
[01:12:45] You know, because nothing is really official until you go and raise your right hand
[01:12:50] And all the paperwork is official
[01:12:52] So it was
[01:12:54] What I was going for for a few months
[01:12:57] But as I thought about it
[01:13:00] You know, if I was going to do this, I was going to fully commit
[01:13:05] And I wasn't, you know, the most important thing was
[01:13:08] Was earning that title that Eagle Glove and anchor
[01:13:10] And becoming a Marine
[01:13:13] But
[01:13:15] You know, what good is that if I'm not being true to myself
[01:13:19] Yeah, you have a section in here on
[01:13:23] On being true to yourself
[01:13:26] You say in coming months and years
[01:13:28] I would learn what an essential part of the Marine Corps leadership is keeping one's word
[01:13:33] Your fellow Marines have to be able to trust you completely
[01:13:35] And you them, each Marine has to know that everyone else will keep their word
[01:13:38] Otherwise you can't stay focused on the right things
[01:13:41] Even more basically than that, however, seeing your promises through his reflection of your character and integrity
[01:13:47] And an essential part of integrity is respecting yourself
[01:13:51] Enough to defend and follow through on your personal convictions
[01:13:55] And that's what this was, I mean, this was a personal conviction of yours
[01:13:59] That you were going to
[01:14:02] Move forward with
[01:14:04] So when you enlisted
[01:14:05] When you raised your right hand, did you have infantry?
[01:14:09] O311 infantry?
[01:14:11] I did.
[01:14:12] Get some.
[01:14:13] Yep.
[01:14:16] I can never resist getting a little bit of boot camp activity here
[01:14:20] Back to the book, as you near the gate of Paris, I won the bus driver
[01:14:23] Tell you to put your head between your legs then you ride with your head down until the bus stops
[01:14:27] And the doors open
[01:14:28] They do this so that if you try and run away while at boot camp, you won't know which direction the only exit is
[01:14:35] It sounds crazy, but it also makes sense given what's coming next
[01:14:38] It's got to be a universal feeling for every Marine I've ever talked to anyway
[01:14:43] When that jerk door is jerked open on the bus and you step out onto the famous yellow footprints as a new recruit
[01:14:50] You are hit with a mixture of thoughts, is it real?
[01:14:53] What's going on?
[01:14:54] What have I done?
[01:14:55] This is the beginning of a four year obligation that I can't get out of
[01:14:59] I know I absolutely had those feelings at first
[01:15:03] But I also was determined that this was what I was supposed to be doing
[01:15:07] So I resolved not to let anything get to me
[01:15:10] He's your said than done at Marine Corps boot camp
[01:15:15] So there you go, you're getting that, you're getting the classic Marine Corps
[01:15:18] How many times did you seem full metal jacket prior to this?
[01:15:29] Crazy answer, I had not
[01:15:32] Oh my, I know that's crazy
[01:15:35] Had you seen maybe camp stuff
[01:15:38] Maybe for the best, no I had you ever seen a rated R movie before
[01:15:43] I had but you know I think I
[01:15:51] It didn't matter to me to do the research because it didn't matter what was going to be put in front of me or what I was going to be put up against or experience
[01:16:11] And so my mindset going into boot camp, well you know I joined the military
[01:16:19] Like we said to
[01:16:22] Commit, devote my life and purpose and now my body to something
[01:16:29] Greater than myself or anyone individual
[01:16:34] I joined the Marine Corps
[01:16:36] I've been growing up, I've always welcomed and thrived on that challenge
[01:16:41] And so I knew my limits
[01:16:46] At that point and up to that point in my life
[01:16:50] But I joined the Marine Corps specifically because I wanted something
[01:16:54] That not only would push me past those limits that
[01:17:00] I knew about myself
[01:17:02] But would make me really look deep down inside myself
[01:17:10] To discover not only how far I could go and how hard I could push myself
[01:17:17] But who I could become and the Marine I could become
[01:17:21] And so you know what that said after a little context I didn't do too much research
[01:17:26] Yeah, I think I'd seen one or two rated R movies with moms permission
[01:17:32] But you know I just thought about it as hey
[01:17:36] I don't think any amount of research can prepare me for what I'm about to
[01:17:41] The endeavor I'm about to take on
[01:17:44] And knowing that and
[01:17:47] That there was really no point and even trying to know or prepare
[01:17:52] My mindset was just
[01:17:54] I'm going to do this
[01:17:57] I'm going to fully commit
[01:18:00] No matter what happens
[01:18:03] I made a vow to myself that I would never quit
[01:18:08] And you know I
[01:18:12] Even though I couldn't prepare a visualized what was coming
[01:18:16] I was always thinking to myself
[01:18:19] When those moments do come
[01:18:21] I never will moments where I want to quit
[01:18:26] Or I feel like I'm at those limits that I just I can't get past
[01:18:31] I just thought okay in those moments
[01:18:35] Right now remember remind yourself
[01:18:39] How you felt right now before you went in
[01:18:42] How special this is to you how how much this means to you
[01:18:47] You're purpose of wanting nothing more than to earn that ego-glowman anchor
[01:18:53] And you know people probably I will
[01:18:57] Why are you having to remind yourself of that you obviously already know that
[01:19:01] But as we all know in this room
[01:19:05] In those moments
[01:19:08] Without remembering
[01:19:10] Those things and reminding yourself and self reflecting about those things
[01:19:14] That's why I think it's easy to
[01:19:19] Well not easy but it allows you to hang up that towel or ring the bell
[01:19:24] And so
[01:19:26] It was not more of specifics that were coming my way
[01:19:31] But just thinking about
[01:19:33] When those things that I couldn't even imagine at the time
[01:19:37] When they do come
[01:19:39] How am I going to handle it?
[01:19:41] How do I want to handle it?
[01:19:44] And how can I learn and become better and try and strive to become the best version of myself?
[01:19:50] I'll tell you what
[01:19:54] To you what?
[01:19:56] I was 18 when I was doing the Navy and you were about 5,000 times more introspective and thoughtful than I ever was
[01:20:04] Like I'm sitting here listening to you
[01:20:06] You just said something like the things that I, how can I imagine the things I can't imagine?
[01:20:12] I couldn't even imagine anything
[01:20:14] I was just like so dumb
[01:20:17] You heard that saying you're going to be stupid you got to be tough
[01:20:20] That was written about me
[01:20:22] I was like oh I'm going to the seal teams
[01:20:24] That's what I'm going to do
[01:20:26] What am I going to do to get ready?
[01:20:27] I don't know they run
[01:20:29] I'm going to run this women I'm going to swim
[01:20:31] What you know what I said so such they say that that party of brain isn't fully developed until you're like 25 maybe years
[01:20:39] It was a little bit earlier maybe mine was a little bit later because you were way more introspective than I ever was
[01:20:45] I was like a knuckle dragger
[01:20:48] And even when you said research
[01:20:51] You're like you know I didn't do any research
[01:20:54] I didn't watch full metal jacket to do research
[01:20:57] I don't think I ever researched anything until I was like 30
[01:21:02] You know I just it was a movie and I said all that looks you know this is a cool warm movie
[01:21:07] I watched every warm movie I could possibly watch and then that opening scene of
[01:21:12] The opening scene which is 45 minutes long of full metal jacket
[01:21:16] In my mind it would I would think oh if you saw that you'd know what was coming right you'd know like okay
[01:21:23] These guys are in the yellow and screen this is bubble ball
[01:21:24] And and you just do any of that
[01:21:28] But you had these incredibly introspective thoughts about what could happen if these situations
[01:21:35] I'm like sitting here baffled that I was able to accomplish anything because I never thought through any of it to that level
[01:21:42] That's good man because you know
[01:21:45] Marines aren't known for being
[01:21:48] Very smart
[01:21:49] So thank you so much for taking care of the things you can hold it now somebody put a meme up
[01:21:55] Of it said happy birthday Marine Corps and it had a picture of a 240 golf and then four and it said it had a picture of the 240 golf
[01:22:02] And it said plus and had four crannies and it said you're this many today
[01:22:07] I was like yeah, that's that's pretty funny
[01:22:09] Good good room humor
[01:22:12] You got a couple things about about leadership and obviously I talked about leadership all the time
[01:22:17] And you got this in the book like any successful and efficient organization the Marine Corps emphasizes leadership at the foundational level with every Marine train and ready to take over the job
[01:22:28] Above them if the situation calls for it this appealed to me as being a part of the military the discipline that shapes recruits in deleders
[01:22:35] Obviously the way the Marine Corps does it is not the most pleasant approach
[01:22:40] But it has a remarkable success rate that you've talked about this
[01:22:44] I was honored to be named a squad leader early on and hold that position through graduation
[01:22:52] If the DIs decide you have earned the right to stay in that role and you graduate as a squad leader
[01:22:57] You will leave boot camp at the rank of private first class rather than private
[01:23:02] It is an honor, but it does come with its drawbacks
[01:23:05] You help maintain order, but you also have to share the punishment with anyone in your squad who needs to be disciplined
[01:23:11] If one of the your guys is told the S.D. pull up pushups you have to be there doing them right alongside him
[01:23:18] That was one of the best lessons in leadership the Marine Corps taught me a true leader is not someone who keeps themselves separate from the people they lead
[01:23:27] He or she is right in the middle of what the team is going through
[01:23:31] Experiencing the lows as well as the highs with everyone else
[01:23:34] And you go on here there were times when I got in trouble for something that one of my squad members had or had not done
[01:23:43] And I had to be willing to accept that
[01:23:46] Ultimately the responsibility for the execution of any order came back to me since I had been trusted with the job of seeing it through
[01:23:55] And you're getting that in Marine Corps boot camp
[01:24:00] That is so legit
[01:24:01] And it's something, you know, obviously I wrote a book called Extreme Ownership, which means that you know when you're in a leadership position you're responsible for everything that happens
[01:24:14] 100% and they're teaching you this with simple tool to teach you to call pushups
[01:24:22] You made that connection though
[01:24:26] That's that's what I find pretty amazing about you that you're making these connections
[01:24:32] See for me when I look back at my career
[01:24:36] I see where I learned things
[01:24:39] But I learned them more like a dog learns
[01:24:43] Like I learned like oh you know if I want this to happen I need to do that like I don't you know your dog isn't saying your dog isn't philosophizing about how to get another treat
[01:24:52] Right they're just performing an action because it worked that's kind of how I learned when I look back in my career
[01:24:58] You know I had a bad leader and I see what they did and I say oh that doesn't work good
[01:25:02] I'm not going to do that then I have a good leader and say oh that work good. I'm going to do that kind of like a dog getting trained that's how I felt
[01:25:08] And yet it seems like you were actually connecting
[01:25:12] Legitimate leadership principles even that that young age
[01:25:16] Even when you're in their chicken factory you were making that happen. That's pretty impressive man
[01:25:20] Thanks man. I wish I would have pulled that off. Hey, I'm making like feel like kind of smart right now. I don't know what to think
[01:25:29] Going on here
[01:25:32] By the time we got to the crucible the grueling 54 hour culminating event that caps off your time at boot camp Arpalton was one unit that felt as if we were going to live or die together every obstacle in the crucible is named for a different marine who is awarded the Medal of Honor
[01:25:47] Part of the experience is learning their stories of bravery and loyalty honoring the history of which we are all about to become a part as newly minted marines
[01:25:58] The Marine Corps motto is Semper Fidelas meaning always faithful. I wanted to be a leader who is always faithful to the people with whom I was serving
[01:26:09] I paid special attention to the each
[01:26:11] To the story of each Medal of Honor recipient as the deias recounted them as we move through the crucible. It felt profound sacred and monumental
[01:26:21] I wanted to understand what made a great marine that was also the reason why when it started raining just three hours into my crucible my feet quickly blistered beyond recognition
[01:26:32] I decided to hike the 10 miles back to the barracks anyways
[01:26:34] Because my feet were bleeding so badly I was offered a ride in the medical van at the end of the second day, but I refused to take it
[01:26:43] Why are you hiking on your tiptoes recruit the deias yelled at me, but I was not going to take the easy way out
[01:26:49] I was going to stay with my platoon no matter how much pain I was in
[01:26:52] You end the final hike as the sun is coming up at the parade deck in front of the Ewo Jima Memorial
[01:26:59] It is there that you are handed your Ego Globe anchor insignia or EGA as it is affectionately called
[01:27:07] They place the EGA in your left hand and shake your right at that moment you officially earned the title marine
[01:27:18] I got chills
[01:27:21] That's that's new relatively new that you get your Ego Globe anchor after the crucible in boot camp
[01:27:28] How many weeks in the boot camp is it?
[01:27:34] You're there a total of about 13 and a half weeks and the crucible happens a little less than a week before you leave
[01:27:42] So that's 12 weeks so you're right there right there at the end of it
[01:27:47] Yeah that's that's that's powerful and it actually stepped up a little bit here
[01:27:52] You go to family day you have the graduation ceremony and then this happens
[01:27:55] It was a relief to know that boot camp was over but I broke into a cold sweat when DI
[01:28:00] Dr. Billingsley pulled me aside and asked to talk to me alone for a minute behind the racks in the squad bay
[01:28:07] Carpenter he said where's your EGA?
[01:28:10] I
[01:28:11] Retrieved my EGA from my cover
[01:28:14] And brought it to him he took off his drill instructor hat and his own insignia and said here
[01:28:20] I want you to have this he said he saw something special in me and that he respected my determination to complete the ten mile hike
[01:28:27] Even though I would have been medically excused from doing so
[01:28:30] That was one of the most surprising and impactful moments of my 13 weeks in boot camp. That's pretty crazy
[01:28:37] It was and I mean now looking back it's even more crazy because I've never heard of that happening to anyone else
[01:28:43] Maybe it hasn't just didn't come up but yeah before we did get behind the racks though
[01:28:51] I thought man I almost made it
[01:28:54] Almost got out here a lot
[01:28:57] But yeah was I mean floored blown away and
[01:29:03] Maybe in a way a little confused to say the least
[01:29:07] When you talked to him because you talk about you had a little bit of relationship with and after that
[01:29:11] Like did he tell you what was his reason for doing that?
[01:29:16] That's a big deal
[01:29:18] Yeah, especially when he was the one that
[01:29:21] You know you always have those leaders
[01:29:24] Journalist instructors that are extra hard on you and seem to always pick on you pick you out
[01:29:32] And up until that moment
[01:29:35] I felt like it was his mission every day waking up even though at the time we didn't even think that that those guys slept
[01:29:44] But his mission waking up every day to destroy recruit car
[01:29:50] And I wholeheartedly believe that and he did a
[01:29:56] Great job at it
[01:29:58] So you know that
[01:30:00] That moment was very powerful
[01:30:02] And it also showed me that
[01:30:07] You know a
[01:30:13] A good and effective leader at times can seem very hard on you
[01:30:20] But you know journalist structure at the time sergeant Luke Billingsley
[01:30:25] I realize that
[01:30:34] At least from just what I knew in that moment and the past 13 weeks that
[01:30:44] And again my opinion but the most effective leaders
[01:30:49] Yes are hard on you
[01:30:51] Yes bring the hammer down daily if they need to
[01:30:56] But you know to have that moment and to have leaders that
[01:31:01] Yes they do destroy you all day but at the end of the day they sit you down
[01:31:08] And they
[01:31:11] They
[01:31:12] calmly
[01:31:13] Respectfully
[01:31:15] Effectively and efficiently talk to you
[01:31:18] And tell you hey this is why I destroyed you all day
[01:31:24] And I didn't do it because I don't like you I did it because I do see that potential
[01:31:32] And I am you know I know the risks I'm a sergeant I've been in I know what you could potentially be going into
[01:31:40] And so
[01:31:42] I'm going to give the reasons not only you know why they're so hard on you
[01:31:50] But also to tell you this is why and
[01:31:56] And I do it because
[01:32:01] I care and not only that they give you the tools
[01:32:06] To
[01:32:07] Fix whatever it was that brought that pain and suffering initially
[01:32:13] And
[01:32:15] Not only the tools to fix it but how you can become better and how you can mitigate those mistakes and make them less and less over time
[01:32:25] And so
[01:32:27] Yeah at the time I think
[01:32:30] Probably because out of a nice mix of fear and just
[01:32:33] Being completely dumbfounded that this was happening
[01:32:38] I
[01:32:41] You know I was
[01:32:43] Out of loss for words but again
[01:32:46] And now we're great friends I saw a few months ago we had a beer together
[01:32:52] But
[01:32:54] Yeah that was a that was an important lesson that I've always carried with me that
[01:32:58] You know the people that care about you the people that want to make you the best version of yourself
[01:33:06] Not times have to be hard on you
[01:33:09] I was
[01:33:12] So what the last job I had in the seal teams was training the west coast seal teams
[01:33:19] And I'd be put in for two and two these really hard training evolutions
[01:33:23] And I was really harsh
[01:33:25] Deep reefing I mean the training was really hard we set up super hard training and then and then I was
[01:33:31] Incredibly harsh in debriefs and I actually have a guy actually two guys that were they used to they were they worked for me
[01:33:39] But they would record the debriefs like I'd be in their debriefing and they would record them and I've heard them and I'm like really harsh
[01:33:47] I mean just
[01:33:49] Plun and just pointing out all these mistakes and just really harsh on guys
[01:33:57] And I realized that there's two things that made me realize it but one of us I worked had a guy on the podcast name
[01:34:07] Jim Mukayama who is a
[01:34:10] Army guy and he worked for David Hackworth and anyways he became a general but he was like one of the leadership principles that he talks about
[01:34:17] I was like it is like the most important things that you care about your people
[01:34:21] So I have that in the back of my mind all the time right and it's what you just said like when you know someone cares about you then you're you're willing to listen to what they have to say
[01:34:31] So there's that and then I started us I started thinking of myself you know well I always tell people what you started off saying like hey be nice to people right
[01:34:41] You know you'd be nice, you know how you know when you're communicating someone be nice because that's how you get people to listen to you
[01:34:47] And that's kind of contradictory as thinking of myself that's kind of contradictory the fact that I'm telling people to be nice
[01:34:53] But I know for a fact that I've heard recordings of me being over the top harsh on guys
[01:35:01] And I said to myself how is it that I because I would get feedback for those guys you know either six months later or two years later or five years later or or that day
[01:35:09] They'd be saying they thanks thanks good stuff. I need to work on that and I was thinking myself how how how what am I doing that's a lot what did I do at that time that allowed me to be
[01:35:23] brutally harsh with these debriefs and I realized that
[01:35:30] General Muka Yamma explain it to me. He didn't say it directly to me at the time, but I came to understood it understand it
[01:35:37] What it was when I was putting guys through training
[01:35:41] All those guys knew that more than anything else in the world
[01:35:46] I cared about them and their men and I wanted them to be able to go overseas accomplish a mission and bring their guys home
[01:35:53] And I cared about that more than anything
[01:35:57] And so they knew that they knew that
[01:35:59] I wanted them to bring their guys home. They knew that I didn't bring my guys home and I didn't want them to ever have to feel that
[01:36:08] They knew I cared about and that allowed me to say hey you screwed this up. This is what you need to fix. You need to do this better
[01:36:16] And they accepted it for the same reason that you
[01:36:20] Listen to and learn from
[01:36:23] Billingsley
[01:36:25] This because you knew
[01:36:27] But he cared about you and that's the difference
[01:36:31] In that every time you're not harsh you're not relaying those lessons
[01:36:36] Good could be a potential moment downrange
[01:36:41] Just a couple months later that you know not for y'all
[01:36:47] You know training is obviously longer, but you know in the short term
[01:36:53] For every mistake that you weren't so harsh on him for
[01:36:59] Could be a life altering or life ending
[01:37:03] You know, I'm a state that could have been corrected before so
[01:37:07] Yeah, exactly right. Yeah, I remember coming back from Ramadi and I'd be doing urban or urban combat training with guys
[01:37:15] And if I saw a guy it didn't happen it happened for probably like six months when I would see like a young new guy seal standing in the middle of the street with no cover
[01:37:28] I would get I would feel sick to my stomach like I just a real like a sickness
[01:37:33] I would come over me because I would think that they're going to get shot, you know, and I'd go for no big
[01:37:38] I need to get some cover. What are you doing standing out? You know, I'd like try and teach them that lesson
[01:37:41] That man if you're in an urban environment or any environment you cannot be standing out in the open you move from cover to cover
[01:37:48] That's what you do don't set up. You're going to get shot and I would I felt the sickness in my stomach
[01:37:53] And it was this it's the same thing that you'd feel you know patrolling in a muddy two like an army guy
[01:37:58] See one of my guys like standing in the open you go
[01:38:01] It's like it makes you feel sick because you're waiting for rounds to come out and so yeah that
[01:38:06] Absolutely has an impact and you know for our timeline too, you know you get guys that would go through basic seal training
[01:38:13] Go to seal qualification training and deploy it if they got a sign to a team that was on deployment
[01:38:19] They'd go on deployment so yeah, like you could have we I had in reminding you had a couple guys show up that we're
[01:38:25] Yep, we be on deployment they'd show up and you know we wouldn't throw them into an assault train or whatever
[01:38:29] But hey they'd be external security and they would we would we'd start to use them we needed bodies we needed we need men so
[01:38:38] Yeah, it can happen. That's wild. Faith from training. Yeah, they're a lotty. Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's that's an interesting way to get broken into the teams
[01:38:49] Yeah, especially because you know we were talking about earlier like the amount of combat that you may or may not see in a career
[01:38:55] You know you if your first deployment is to Ramadi that's gonna be it's gonna be tough and then halfway through it
[01:39:05] Yeah, do you agree with that?
[01:39:08] Obviously they're trained and you ready what we did what we did with them is we didn't have high expectations
[01:39:13] We weren't like okay now you're gonna be the driver of the lead vehicle like no. Yeah, you know we would we would continue to train
[01:39:20] Continue to train while we're there they'd start off doing something really simple and then if they did okay and we continue to work with them
[01:39:27] We'd get them up to speed and eventually they'd be they'd be alright, but you know what's what's what's crazy
[01:39:33] You talk to guys that were in Vietnam guys are in Vietnam. You're you would just get replacements would just come in and
[01:39:39] They would just show up and go and guy would wrote you know be your 365 days up. You're going home
[01:39:44] And here's a new guy to take your place and that's it and there was no continuity wasn't like work up like what we got the luxury of doing
[01:39:51] Work up trained together lived together then deployed together as a unit do our work and then come on together
[01:39:57] So it doesn't they didn't work that way in Vietnam, which undoubtedly is bad. It's undoubtedly bad. You know
[01:40:04] I had Jim Web on here who is the Navy Cross recipient Marine Corps, but you know his story
[01:40:11] He's like goes finishes the Naval Academy goes to the basic school goes to their little short
[01:40:18] Infect condensed infantry course that's like 11 weeks long gets 13 days leave flies to Vietnam
[01:40:26] And then they take him out on a patrol
[01:40:30] They point up to a ridge line and they're like year-pilton is up there go take it over
[01:40:34] And then he walks up there goes hey, I'm here to take over for the Petune Commanders
[01:40:38] Dad welcome aboard this is Sergeant you know Smith and he's been running things and then that night
[01:40:44] They got like into a heavy contact and he was on the radio calling danger close fire support that night
[01:40:51] 12 hours, but it's only grand crazy that ain't it crazy does not and that shows you how efficient the Marine Corps is that you could take a guy like that
[01:41:01] And they would actually be up to speed you know that's incredible that's incredible and then I we just had a guy on the podcast that was Army
[01:41:09] Special for Ranger special forces officer and he didn't list it, but he got to Ranger school got to OCS got to special forces school
[01:41:19] And then volunteer to be in Sagan Vietnam and I was I said you know well, you know, was it hard to get selected and he was like
[01:41:27] You know, he goes it was Vietnam, you know, the survival rate of an officer in Vietnam was like nothing
[01:41:34] And he said if you want to volunteer for that they were like oh yeah, come on come on over here. Oh, you want to volunteer for special forces cool
[01:41:40] Come on over oh you want to be Ranger cool that we come on over oh you want to be in Sagan cool no problem
[01:41:44] There was no resistance whatsoever. It was just wide open doors because so many the casually rates were so high
[01:41:51] So yeah, we kind of have a little bit of a luxury nowadays the way that we do it in the Army and everyone does that way now pretty much
[01:42:00] You can you can lose guys sometimes or you can have guys replaced you know in all branches
[01:42:05] I think but you know they're not gonna they're not gonna do what they did during Vietnam again
[01:42:10] I think everyone recognized that was not a good plan. Yeah
[01:42:13] You head off from there you go to school of infantry S.O.I. which is awesome and you describe that here for the next two months life
[01:42:25] Consistive learning how to master various weapon systems that would be vital for our service in Afghanistan
[01:42:30] That and taking progressively longer hikes where we would dig fighting holes and learn how to operate the radio wall out in the middle
[01:42:35] Where in combat survival depends on finding the right place the right right balance between caution and action I think for most of us myself included are wired for caution
[01:42:46] But I knew that in order to be the kind of leader
[01:42:49] I wanted to be one who would protect my guys and do what I could to ensure the success of the mission
[01:42:55] I had to respond automatically when my brain detected danger
[01:42:59] That became one of my main goals at S.O.I. because we all knew that a deployment was coming wherever we got assigned after graduation
[01:43:06] That's what infantry does we fight so this is interesting. I wrote another book called the dichotomy of leadership
[01:43:12] And what you're talking about is exactly what that book is about
[01:43:16] The difference finding the right balance between caution and action if you throw caution the wind you're gonna get everyone killed if you never take action
[01:43:24] You're also not gonna talk comps mission and you're also in my opinion going to have a higher chance of getting everyone killed
[01:43:30] Because in action and standing there while sitting there while the enemy maneuver is not going to turn out good
[01:43:35] So finding that balance and then the other balance that you talk about is protecting your guys
[01:43:41] And accomplishing the mission like that's a dichotomy that you have to balance
[01:43:46] So you're right in it right in it you figured that out
[01:43:51] And again, were you thinking about that you were thinking about that as a how old were you 19 19 years old you were thinking about that
[01:44:04] Yeah, yeah, I think
[01:44:08] These lessons are you know little more complex than than what I was thinking about during boot camp
[01:44:18] So I think I realized these even though I did at the time I realized them
[01:44:26] Less than and more later on
[01:44:29] Yeah, the reflection when you look back and for me I've been doing a lot of that you know
[01:44:35] I got this book that I just wrote leadership strategy in tactics and I start off by explaining
[01:44:40] How I transition I don't use these words because I just thought it's today, but how I transition from learning like a dog
[01:44:47] Which is you know kind of how it started to saying oh, okay
[01:44:51] This is what's happening. Oh, okay, and for me one of the reasons that I got focused on leadership
[01:45:00] Was because I wasn't that great in anything else. I wasn't that fast. I wasn't that strong. I wasn't that smart
[01:45:05] I wasn't that smart. I wasn't going to win any of the races and so what I could do is like pay attention
[01:45:11] What was happening pay attention how we could work together as a team help the whole team do a good job together
[01:45:16] I could help with that more than I could help as an individual
[01:45:20] Doing the best because I wasn't the best so I kind of naturally focused on leadership because it was the thing that I could do better
[01:45:28] Then I could do the other things so that's what happened with me
[01:45:34] So that's also amazing that
[01:45:38] You were that interest back if knowing like a good leader realizing
[01:45:45] It meeting to yourself, which is sometimes the hardest thing to do your weaknesses and
[01:45:51] To emphasize different areas that you knew could be strengths. I really wish I would have thought about it that way
[01:45:59] The reality was I was like well, I'm not that great at this, but just wanting a dog treat
[01:46:06] And the dog treat for me was
[01:46:10] As we were maneuvering if I took a step back, I could actually tell what we should do
[01:46:14] I could figure out what we should do and as soon as I realized that I was like, oh, I can I can do this. I can I can be a leader
[01:46:21] I didn't even think of it in those words, but I thought I like to make the calls, you know, I can make calls
[01:46:25] I even think of that word yet and then luckily, well, you kind of went through a similar experience to me and we'll get to it
[01:46:32] Where you had a bad leader and then you transferred to a good leader or you had a good leader come in and I had that happened to that was another thing that really opened my eyes
[01:46:40] But hey, you finish you want to get back to this you finish the school of infantry when our assignments came down
[01:46:45] I couldn't help but feel like we had lucked out the four guys who room together
[01:46:49] Griffin Scott Mike Jared Lily and I
[01:46:52] had all been assigned to Fox Company second battalion night Marines, aka hell in a helmet
[01:46:59] It had a nice ring to it in fact two nine is a unit that is only activated in times of combat
[01:47:07] And you say here I couldn't have been more excited
[01:47:10] However, this enthusiasm quickly turned into fear when the Marines from Fox Company arrived to pick us up and take us to our new unit
[01:47:17] 20 minutes after S.O.I. graduation the guys assigned to two nine were loaded on a bus for the ten mile drive up the road to Camp Lajoon
[01:47:24] I will never forget the first Marine I saw when we arrived
[01:47:28] He had more tattoos than anyone I had ever met before
[01:47:30] I distinctly remember that his right arm was covered with a skeleton wearing a top hat and holding a double barrel shotgun
[01:47:36] That seemed to point right at anyone looking at it
[01:47:39] Yup, that was me staring down the end of that barrel for the next four years of my life
[01:47:44] I opened the door to my new barracks and experienced them one of the most intimidating moments of my Marine Corps career
[01:47:51] The entire platoon of Marines are new family had lined the halls and preparation for the new guys
[01:47:56] They had just got back from deployment to Iraq and seemed like hungry cage dogs waiting to be fed
[01:48:03] It felt like we were there next meal
[01:48:06] And we were
[01:48:08] That's classic like that that scene right there is epic
[01:48:12] Those guys just coming back from Iraq and here's the fresh new meats showing up from S.O.I. ready to get some
[01:48:20] Hmm
[01:48:22] Yeah
[01:48:24] So not only you know the debt marine with the tattoos
[01:48:29] Have the most and most intimidating tattoos
[01:48:34] But have a more rock and scabby shirts
[01:48:37] Which I didn't even know was allowed at the time
[01:48:40] So I knew things were getting real when those no skimi shirt on under the canmies
[01:48:45] And then yeah, we get to what I hope have been demolished since
[01:48:51] But the barracks at the infamous French Creek on campus, which were
[01:48:56] Not I mean falling apart
[01:49:01] Yeah, that's kind of a given but they were some of if not the last barracks that the rooms were
[01:49:09] Internal and in the hallways and not outside to where
[01:49:14] You can hopefully you could escape if someone a responsible someone
[01:49:20] Maybe an officer was walking by they could save you
[01:49:24] If you were getting destroyed but no and
[01:49:29] Maybe not funny is right where but you know we got off the bus and of course we
[01:49:34] We looked like clowns walking around we got our sea bags at our faculty knows what
[01:49:39] They got all this stuff and so we get off the bus and no one's really around
[01:49:45] They got nice we got hit the perfect time
[01:49:49] Maybe they're all just relaxing maybe the child hall
[01:49:53] We're good you know at least got a couple buffer hours to get
[01:49:57] Get checked into our lovely sweets and you know take a breather before the chaos
[01:50:03] Begins and they were there they just were not outside
[01:50:08] They were patiently waiting for that door to open up and
[01:50:12] Yeah, the chaos began right there but again you know as hard as they were on us
[01:50:19] You know they would have us to the clock at night running classes in the hallway
[01:50:28] Taking you know putting turn it gets on and off going through those nine lines
[01:50:34] Learning about everything from air panels to what he was nowhere you are
[01:50:42] To two those nine lines to you know fighting holes and just everything and at first
[01:50:53] There was no love shown so it wasn't that nice balance that we've already talked about but
[01:51:00] As we went through those first few initial months after that first three month
[01:51:06] Deployment and leading up to Afghanistan you started to realize that
[01:51:10] Yes, they were hard on you but the respect slowly started to come
[01:51:16] And not only hopefully it started to come because they saw us working hard and trying to be the best
[01:51:23] Marines we could but also
[01:51:29] Knowing that when we gave our loved ones that last hug or potential last hug and got on those buses
[01:51:36] It was just us and it didn't matter if you were a boot or if you had been in a year or 10 years
[01:51:43] You were going into that unknown together and just because I'm three ranks lower than you
[01:51:51] Doesn't mean that I'm going to try to protect you any less or vice versa
[01:51:58] And so I think you know that mutual respect started to grow thankfully and you know it's a good thing
[01:52:06] Because you know we didn't know what what was in store for us
[01:52:10] Just to have that mutual respect understanding and that efficiency of working together as a team
[01:52:19] It's not only vital and essential but it's comforting
[01:52:25] And you when did you get assigned as a saw gunner?
[01:52:29] Was that turning S. O. Y?
[01:52:32] That once you showed up once I showed up
[01:52:35] Yeah, yeah, I still don't understand
[01:52:39] Why
[01:52:41] 140s you pound me was given one of the biggest weapons in the Plotein that welcome in the Marine court
[01:52:49] Right on
[01:52:52] Yeah, that's the way it happened sometimes
[01:52:55] So you just mentioned you guys did a little float and while you're out on float you hear Obama is saying like hey
[01:53:03] We're going to step up the game in Afghanistan you guys kind of know what that means
[01:53:08] Since you guys are prepared basically prepared for deployment because you're on a little mini deployment
[01:53:14] So you guys figure if there's troops are going to Afghanistan for this surge thing going on
[01:53:19] It's probably going to be us you say here. I was excited as were most of the Marines
[01:53:24] I knew this was the reason we had joined up after all to be part of a mission bigger than ourselves
[01:53:29] I had found what I was looking for in the Marine court mission and meaning
[01:53:32] We had a clear objective to flush the Taliban out of their helmet province stronghold
[01:53:37] In southern Afghanistan where they were growing never ending fields of poppies
[01:53:43] Regardless of the what inevitable dangers lay ahead
[01:53:48] I was excited to earn my place in the Plotein that motivation drive was quickly overshadowed
[01:53:53] Though when I was assigned to my four member fire team my fire team leader was a disappointment to be charitable
[01:53:59] Everything I had seen experienced and had been taught about effective leadership was suddenly being contradicted
[01:54:06] He yelled without purpose gave little to no useful instruction and was one of the slowest guys in physical training every day
[01:54:14] How could we trust someone to lead like lead us as a four man fire team in combat?
[01:54:19] Someone like that to lead us in a four man fire team in combat
[01:54:23] He didn't seem to care about anything but his next cigarette and getting out of the military
[01:54:27] The days weeks and months dragged on under his command
[01:54:31] So there you go you got a bunch of little statements in there. You know my favorite one out of that is he yelled without purpose
[01:54:37] Because people think that oh well it's a military leader. They're gonna yell and scream. It's just not true
[01:54:43] And I usually bring up the fact that I never yelled in my guys and in fact when I as a leader when I have to yell at someone
[01:54:49] I feel like I failed about 48 times prior to me having to yell if I take us to a situation
[01:54:56] Where I have to yell and the other thing I was talking to a tech company a few days ago
[01:55:03] And when I got done talking one of the guys that was working there. He's a vet and he comes up. He came up to me and he said
[01:55:09] You know because I talked about look, you know you got to explain to people why they got to understand
[01:55:12] You got to let them come up with a plan. They're all these things all these principles
[01:55:15] And one of the things I said was sometimes when people hear me say hey
[01:55:20] Your people should say hey who they should want to know why we're doing something and that scares some bosses
[01:55:26] Because some bosses you know if Kyle comes to me and says hey why are we doing this? I say shut up and do what I told you to do
[01:55:31] And that's just horrible leadership and so I said this and the guy came up with me afterwards and he said yeah
[01:55:37] You know when I was in I had this my my had this first sergeant who I asked to miss it
[01:55:42] Hey why are we doing this mission and he told me you'd be a better soldier if you'd known if you would shut up and do what you're supposed to do
[01:55:48] You were told to do and he said I'm glad that the military
[01:55:52] Doesn't have that attitude anymore because he was in during the 90s and I go I wish I said listen
[01:55:57] I appreciate it
[01:55:59] But that's not the way the military is the military just like the civilian world has varied types of leaders various levels of leadership
[01:56:07] And some of them are good and some are bad. So here you are in the modern Marine Corps and you still have Marines that haven't quite figured out that hey
[01:56:16] You don't you don't yell at your people for no reason you don't want to you want to actually instruct them on how to do things
[01:56:21] You want to make sure they understand why they're doing what they're doing and you had a guy here that wasn't under those things
[01:56:30] Yeah, and it wasn't even a
[01:56:34] Disappointment I was just dumbfounded
[01:56:40] to
[01:56:42] And I I realized
[01:56:47] I had obviously been exposed the other Marines in the pool to my Jones structures
[01:56:52] Every Marine I encountered Rodney up until that point
[01:56:56] It was just
[01:56:59] Baffling to me that
[01:57:01] All of these ideals I had learned about heard about seeing firsthand
[01:57:12] All of the characteristics that I aspire to have as a Marine and all of these things I was working so hard and striving for to not only try to learn but really
[01:57:26] Grasp and understand in every way he went completely against all of that and it was it was
[01:57:41] It was scary because you know I wasn't in this situation I didn't get put with this leader leader
[01:57:51] Uh as a sergeant as a staff sergeant after a couple of years in I was first couple of months in the fleet and
[01:58:06] Not only did I feel like every day he was in charge of me I was
[01:58:10] I was not able to thrive and potentially reach my full potential for that day or continue evolving as a Marine
[01:58:21] But I
[01:58:24] Didn't a few months we're going to be in Afghanistan and you're going to you're going to be in charge of my life and I just destroyed you in PT
[01:58:34] I just I didn't know what to think I didn't know what to do and I just got and I talked about it. I got in the mindset of okay
[01:58:43] He is not going to define who I am the Marine I am what I know what I can learn
[01:58:51] How I can be in Afghanistan how I can step up
[01:58:55] You know really
[01:58:57] It and this was counterintuitive to think well he really doesn't matter in the big picture because you know you're taught that every Marine is so
[01:59:10] Vital and important to the mission and you need every Marine to be efficient and to reach your full potential
[01:59:18] And so it was scary but
[01:59:21] I just decided that I would train learn evolve on my own and I would help the two other guys in the fire team really just won because he had come in after me he was a lower
[01:59:38] We were same rank that he hadn't been in as long as me so even though it's just a few months different you know you got to start somewhere
[01:59:45] Best of Marine Corps so I was two men and room one of them is the senior man. Yeah, yeah exactly and so I knew that
[01:59:52] Nick who eventually was going to be on on top of that roof with me that day
[01:59:57] I knew that I could take care of Nick we could look out for each other we could learn due classes together behind closed doors
[02:00:05] And we'd have to really worry about him but what that said
[02:00:07] And again talking about once you get on that bus there's no rank you know two two a degree everyone is equal and everyone's lies are just as much on the line as as the person to the right and left of you
[02:00:21] But I and and it's kind of sad to say this but I got to where I look forward to getting on that bus and going on that deployment because I thought
[02:00:33] I
[02:00:35] Can tell you what's up and what's on my mind once we get in Afghanistan and once you're in charge of my life, which I'm not really even going to let happen once we get over there
[02:00:46] but
[02:00:47] I
[02:00:48] Can educate you on on the things I've been thinking about these past six or seven months
[02:00:53] And so I look forward to that thankfully as I talk about it didn't come to that and
[02:00:58] He
[02:01:02] He
[02:01:04] He
[02:01:06] He
[02:01:08] He
[02:01:10] He
[02:01:12] He
[02:01:14] He
[02:01:14] He
[02:01:16] He
[02:01:18] He did kind of dig his own grave and make a mistake to where he had to leave the Marine Corps which leads into
[02:01:23] Yeah, this is a awesome situation so so well, that's not the awesome part but the fact is you say here
[02:01:31] We caught a break the Marine who had fill our old fire team leaders boots would be his opposite in every way
[02:01:37] Is it tearing Heinz?
[02:01:39] Is that how you say it far and boy from Iowa?
[02:01:42] There you go
[02:01:43] Tearing Heinz was an eagle scout an exceptional person and an exceptional Marine and exceptional leader and my saving grace
[02:01:52] He was exactly what I had been searching for opening the door to the barracks
[02:01:57] Lands corporal Heinz seemed more like a teacher than a boss leading us with patience, understanding and calmness
[02:02:06] Heinz's style can be summarized in one sentence
[02:02:10] Lead with action
[02:02:12] Any orders or tasks that Heinz gave us he had either already done himself or he was absolutely willing to do alongside us
[02:02:20] He made sure we ate first he was the one to work holidays and take less to take the less desirable posts
[02:02:27] So his junior guys were taken care of in short he earned respect he didn't demand it
[02:02:33] I wanted to follow him until my last breath
[02:02:37] His arrival changed the morale of our entire fire team the bond of trust and commitment we felt towards one another became unbreakable
[02:02:45] As hard as my first experience was I am thankful to have been exposed to poor leadership so early on
[02:02:53] It not only taught me what leadership is not supposed to be like but it also showed me that no matter what is going on around you
[02:03:00] Or who is in charge you can still be your own leader and lead those and the leader to those around you
[02:03:06] I think that experience helped bring the rest of our fire team together
[02:03:09] We were going to need that in the months ahead
[02:03:12] So there you go you this is a great contrast and this is this is what I was saying this similar thing happened to be had a platoon commander that got fired and an incredible leader came into take his place and that was my second platoon
[02:03:25] And so I had just enough experience to like pay attention and this is probably when I started moving more out of dog learning mode into actually paying attention
[02:03:35] But the shock of those two things the contrast is what sort of shocked me into paying attention
[02:03:42] You know I was saying wow this guy was horrible we didn't like and we had a mutiny and got rid of him and then we had a new guy come in who was not a new guy
[02:03:49] But he was a experience guy to replace him and he was just the contrast of those two made me start paying attention a lot
[02:03:57] And as you said you're thankful to have it
[02:03:59] And I'm thankful that happened to me same thing I saw my previous boss that got fired saw what not to do like hey that's bad leadership I'm not going to do that
[02:04:09] And this is another little dichotomy you talk about even from our first day as new recruits on paris island we were simultaneously being trained to be leaders and also respectful of orders
[02:04:21] So that's that's a dichotomy hey we're going to lead but we're also going to respect the orders
[02:04:25] It might sound illogical but it's actually a brilliant way to shape the character and how look of the next generation of Marines
[02:04:32] What I witnessed in the first year of service modeled me for the importance of the balance of confidence and humility
[02:04:40] Initiative and patience action and caution
[02:04:44] So there you go you just named three dichotomies of leadership that everybody has to pay attention to and if you go too far in any of those directions
[02:04:52] In any of those characteristics they'll be bad
[02:04:56] So if you have too much confidence bad too much humility bad too much initiative bad too much patience bad too much action bad too much caution bad you got a balance every single one of those
[02:05:06] And then you say the best leaders aren't the ones who detach themselves from their people or use their authority to avoid responsibility
[02:05:14] The leaders who have the most influence and ultimately earn the loyalty of their team are the ones who invest themselves in their people and who willingly shoulder the responsibility that comes with being in charge
[02:05:26] I learned from watching the Marines more senior to me and from being entrusted with a bit of authority myself a bootcamp that being a part of whatever needs to be done
[02:05:37] No matter how seemingly menial or unpleasant goes a long way towards strengthening the bonds of a group
[02:05:42] When you know the person in front of you during drills is also willing to be in front of you in a firefight or next you scrubbing the squad bay you begin to view the entire mission and you're rolling it differently
[02:05:53] A great leader communicates his or her actions that you are worth their time effort energy and sacrifice
[02:06:01] That's when your people will trust you to lead them anywhere even into the heart of the fight
[02:06:07] And that's exactly where we were headed
[02:06:10] So there you go, I mean these are just again incredibly profound leadership attributes that you're picking up
[02:06:21] And all of these dichotomies, I don't know, I wrote about a cloud I could make you proud, Jock.
[02:06:27] It's funny, you know if I would have stolen the idea and put it in a book for you you'd have another book under your belt already, but yeah and this is it's one of those things that as I was teaching leadership to young seals
[02:06:40] I realized it, you know because I would tell that you got to be aggressive and then they'd be so aggressive that it would be stupid
[02:06:46] And then I'd say well you can't be over aggressive and then I'd say hey you got to take initiative but then they take so much initiative that no one knows what's happening
[02:06:53] You need to still pay attention to what the overall plan is, you know, so that's what I realized and it's true and everything is true and every characteristic
[02:07:01] And you know it's stuff that you picked up on, you know like I always say I didn't invent any of this stuff from a leadership that has been around for since human beings
[02:07:11] It's been trying to surround the damn lion on the plains and kill it, right? Somebody had to take charge of that and so leadership has always been there and even that group of guys trying to kill a lion
[02:07:24] If they got overly aggressive, you know too early they're going to get eaten but if they did it right and if they weren't aggressive enough and well then they would never catch that thing so they'd have to find that balance too
[02:07:36] Right, lift to pass on those lessons to us exactly exactly
[02:07:42] You're heading to deployment now in Afghanistan and again you got so much great information in this book
[02:07:49] I'm jumping ahead a little bit you're heading to deployment as the buses pulled out we wave goodbye to our families
[02:07:55] I looked back to my mom. I'd never seen this look on her face before one of pure desperation
[02:08:01] Then we were out of sight. How that hit you? Seeing your mom like ready to break down
[02:08:10] It was it was it was it was it was it was one of those looks where
[02:08:24] Along with the thousand yard stare even though you know looking around there's nothing around you that could help you
[02:08:34] But you just look around because you're at such a loss and and such despair that that you don't even know what to do in your brain
[02:08:47] I think it's struggling to comprehend is this really happening is reality is reality really reality right now
[02:08:57] And so that
[02:09:01] It was devastating but at the same time as I had so many times before I had to remind myself
[02:09:10] This is my purpose this is what I'm doing this is my mission and even though it devastated me
[02:09:23] I tried and this is hard to say but I think I was in a way more successful than not attempting to
[02:09:39] Not let those emotions carry on any further into that bus ride
[02:09:45] I saw it it was so tough I had that moment but I also knew that if you know I didn't snap out of it get immediately fully into mission
[02:10:01] I could get off that bus and give her a hug and see the complete opposite emotions
[02:10:19] And also new looking around on that bus that
[02:10:25] Not only were we all seeing those loved ones left together but also to look around and wonder
[02:10:36] And not just wonder but no hey on this bus ride home there's going to be a lot of empty seats
[02:10:44] And to know that and know that your emotions and your attitude is going to potentially dictate or affect how many of the seats there are on the way back
[02:10:59] It's a heavy dose of a reality check
[02:11:06] There's a line in the book that I didn't read earlier but it's when you're having the discussions with your parents about joining the military
[02:11:15] And like your mom says something along and you've got the quote in there I'm going to butcher it I'm sure but she says something along lines of I spent you know my entire life
[02:11:24] Trying to protect you and keep you safe and set yourself up set you up to live a good life
[02:11:30] And you're about to go do something that takes that entire idea and throws it in the garbage can
[02:11:36] You know like I said I'm wondering it but just that thought that's what a mom does right?
[02:11:41] A mom supposed to take care of her kids and here she is she's done everything and you've said okay thanks for protecting me for 18 years
[02:11:48] And now I'm going to go put everything at risk everything that you've tried to prevent from happening I'm voluntarily running towards it
[02:11:56] You're going to want to civilian aircraft you
[02:12:03] You
[02:12:06] You know you talk a little bit about your attitude going in
[02:12:10] And you know you say this it's not hard to feel invincible first the Marine Corps trains you so well that you know you are part of one of the most elite fighting forces on earth
[02:12:17] It seems impossible that 40 year old Soviet weapons and homemade detonating devices of the Taliban could possibly pose a serious risk
[02:12:25] You're in your late teens or early 20s and the risk rewards center of the brain has not fully developed so the possibility of danger seems
[02:12:33] Thrilling rather than sobering it's hard to think about death when the world seems so full of life possibility and excitement
[02:12:40] You feel invincible because up to this point you've basically have been broken arm from falling out of a tree fort no problem
[02:12:47] The doctors can fix you right up by putting you in a cast for a month
[02:12:50] Conclusion from a bad hit and football concerning but you'll be back in a few weeks
[02:12:55] When that is your frame of reference it's hard to imagine the degree of injury that might be waiting you that might be awaiting you
[02:13:03] If you can imagine it it still seems like something that would happen to someone else
[02:13:08] The problem is that you are everyone else is someone else
[02:13:14] And I don't know if you've had a chance to listen to it, but I just had a guy I'm a marine that was winning the Guadalcanal Taroa side pan in Tinney and
[02:13:26] You know I've had this same exact conversation with a lot of guys that have been in a lot of extreme combat
[02:13:33] But you know he was the same way he's like, yeah, I mean I'm sure some people are going to die, but it's not going to be me
[02:13:39] And by the way he didn't get a gut shot at Taroa a hundred meters out of the landing craft
[02:13:45] Well he's still at 500 meters to get to the beach
[02:13:48] You know talk about miracles he was able to survive, but yeah that attitude of
[02:13:53] It's not going to happen to me is a real prevalent one for anyone under the age of like 23 24 25 27 29
[02:14:04] In some time 40 and yeah that's it and I think a lot of it is attitude and again kind of like I said at the beginning
[02:14:14] You know what even though we signed up for it we raised our right hand
[02:14:20] You can do the research you know we're in a time of two conflicts and two different
[02:14:25] On two different fronts and two different countries and you know
[02:14:29] For y'all's family many more countries and a lot of fronts that thankfully people have the luxury of not even knowing about
[02:14:37] But with that said
[02:14:43] Even though we signed up and volunteered
[02:14:46] I had to think, oh well I could get all my lens blown off
[02:14:52] Or second I put boots on the ground, sniper could take me out at 18, 19 years old
[02:15:01] I think those even though you know it's a risk you're not naive about anything
[02:15:11] Those things are just so
[02:15:15] Serial
[02:15:17] I think along with thinking us not going to happen to me also just not really being able to comprehend
[02:15:24] The possibilities that are very quickly and aggressively coming your way
[02:15:30] I think you know those two things is are the two biggest country butters to that mindset
[02:15:38] I guess we should be thankful that that mindset exists because otherwise I think you might go crazy
[02:15:45] Right? Yeah, absolutely
[02:15:49] Alright jump in ahead we didn't jump into patrols on day one so you arrive helmet province autumn 2010
[02:15:57] We didn't jump into patrols on day one there was a kind of leadership training down period
[02:16:01] The higher ranking Marines went out on patrol first to get a feel for things before leading patrols of their own
[02:16:06] It was a way to help everyone get acclimated to being outside the wire
[02:16:10] But our step our time to step into an active role came quickly enough my first patrol took place four or five days after we arrived
[02:16:18] We stopped at a compound at the end of a road after pausing to talk to the owner about his family in the area
[02:16:23] And whether or not he'd seen Taliban nearby
[02:16:27] You guys set up security here and as I land my stomach behind my gun scanning the landscape
[02:16:32] I remember thinking that the field before me was a perfect rectangle as if it had been laid out with a ruler
[02:16:37] In a region where there's so much where so much a scatter shot adapted to the land it was unusual to see something so precise
[02:16:44] It was oddly beautiful all of a sudden it was as if the skies had opened and the clouds were dumping hail so many rounds
[02:16:52] We're hitting the ground around me that I couldn't even see through my scope for all the dust they were kicking up
[02:16:58] There was a funk as a bullet ricochet off the side of a shed and at almost exactly the same time
[02:17:05] I felt something hit my lower back about two inches to the right of my spine
[02:17:09] Just above my belt line and below my body armor probably only an inch of skin
[02:17:16] Probably the only inch of skin that wasn't protected. I'm hit I yelled grabbing my gun and leaping about ten feet behind me
[02:17:22] To where my buddies were holding security two thoughts raised through my brain
[02:17:26] Did bullet wounds really not hurt as much as I had imagined or did I just have so much adrenaline in my system that I wasn't registering pain
[02:17:34] And after an hour outside the wire
[02:17:37] Was I already a casualty?
[02:17:39] I was furious that I wouldn't get to contribute anything to the effort and that if this stupid towel band bullet sent me home
[02:17:45] I couldn't imagine leaving my guys behind because of an injury on our very first patrol as I bounced back
[02:17:51] Another marine instantaneously moved forward to man the end of the road security position
[02:17:56] While the corpsman checked me out behind the compound
[02:17:59] Amazingly the bullet had not penetrated the skin, but it did leave a dark bruise almost like a paintball fired at point blank range
[02:18:07] I was hurting but grateful it wasn't a grateful my tour wasn't over so quickly
[02:18:12] So that's your first contact you get that you get the ricochet round day
[02:18:19] Let's just say
[02:18:23] For the next four months every single day that we were getting some
[02:18:30] That is the one and only and last time I ever was in the prone position
[02:18:36] All 800 rounds every single day out of my soul roughly everything was just standing from that point on
[02:18:46] And not only did I immediately feel more vulnerable than I just in the prone position
[02:19:05] That's how we train, that's how we shot most of the time
[02:19:09] I'd never really just let loose from the standing
[02:19:16] And so that really wasn't even kind of an idea in my head so just doing
[02:19:21] A lot of things like in life on the job and the military you learn a lot of the most important lessons
[02:19:28] And kind of the tricks of the trade as you go along
[02:19:32] And laying in the prone surrounded by Taliban is not the way to do it
[02:19:41] At least it wasn't for me during that deployment
[02:19:44] So I learned quickly that the prone position at times on elevated positions on Overwatch
[02:19:53] And at times that even they can't predict it might be a little less
[02:20:01] Less kinetic than others, you know, maybe maybe I would have considered the prone position
[02:20:08] But in that moment, you know not only could I not even see out of my scope
[02:20:12] But laying down and I wasn't frozen by fear it was just you know when rounds are coming down range at you
[02:20:22] Even if it only takes two or three seconds to get up, grab that carrying handle and make moves
[02:20:29] Full it shall have a lot faster than two or three seconds
[02:20:33] And so I learned my lesson but ultimately I'm just thankful that I was not taking out of the fight
[02:20:39] But it was surreal to say the least and almost incomprehensible that
[02:20:48] I mean an hour or maybe less outside of the wire the first time
[02:20:55] You know I was getting lit up with an AK-47
[02:21:02] But I mean I won't maybe not the wake up call I needed but the wake up call that helped immediately put me in the mindset
[02:21:16] And expectations and kind of frame of reference that I needed to be from the second I stepped out of the gate
[02:21:27] And you said that it made you feel more vulnerable
[02:21:31] Because I can see that going two ways one would be the attitude of like I just got shot and I'm good to go
[02:21:38] Bring it and the other one is I've been here for an hour and I've already been shot
[02:21:42] This is going to be a long seven months and you felt like you leaned a little bit towards this could be a long seven months
[02:21:48] I would say completely towards a ladder
[02:21:51] You say that you know not every patrols that exciting you know but you were always prepared
[02:22:00] And again jump it again
[02:22:03] You're on another patrol
[02:22:06] You with Nick, it phrase you, is that how you say it?
[02:22:09] You with Nick, it phrase you, my best friend was out on the canal and exposed when all of a sudden bullets started to hail down on us
[02:22:18] We began while we began manning the VCP
[02:22:23] Taliban had set up three shooters no more than a hundred yards away at different angles in what's called a bare paw formation to try and triangulate and wipe us out
[02:22:33] We could see their heads as they ran along the canals by the tree line I happened to be positioned by the compound on the other side of the road
[02:22:41] Lance Corporal Stranger the team leader at the time peered over the edge of the canal to see if our guys could safely return fire
[02:22:48] When his head flew backward like he'd been punched it looked like a bullet had gone straight into his forehead
[02:22:54] For a moment he sat perfectly still blinking in a days then he shook it off
[02:22:59] Miraculously the bullet had struck his helmet and the Kevlar had done its job warping the track of the bullet so that it skimmed the edge of his helmet rather than lodging in his skull
[02:23:09] I had a 200 round drum ready already loaded onto my squad automatic weapon
[02:23:14] So I called the guys get ready to move when I turned the corner of this building I prepared to unload
[02:23:18] I turned the corner of the compound pressed my finger on the trigger and didn't let up while the other guys ran in a cross position
[02:23:24] Down the dried up canal before hopping out to cross the road and take cover in the compound until the fire went fight was over
[02:23:31] There's a classic example of cover and move
[02:23:33] Doc friend told me later that he could see the bullet striking the wall right next to my head and body as at least one of the shooters returned turned his weapon on me
[02:23:44] Nick who'd been lobbying grenades in the direction of the shooters in an effort to clear the area long enough
[02:23:49] To give the other guys a chance to run was the last of our guys to cross exactly the moment when he made it across the road and behind the wall
[02:23:58] I ran out of rounds for the next two hours. We were engaged in intense fire fight until a mortarman corporal vans wrath
[02:24:05] Awesome name was able to respond to our radio calls back at base and drop mortars on the Taliban with pinpoint pursuit precision almost two miles out
[02:24:15] After we were confident that there were no active shooters left we approached the shooters position to do a battlefield damage assessment
[02:24:21] Bullet caseings littered the ground those guys have been busy incredibly none of our men had been injured that day
[02:24:28] But the incident shook us up our squads had already taken an incredible beating that autumn
[02:24:33] While that initial what it initially started as a platoon of three fire squads broke into up into four in order to cover more ground
[02:24:41] But we lost so many guys we had to reorganize and combine back down to three
[02:24:51] No matter how mentally prepared you are or you think you are you will never be ready for that first firefight let alone the first casualty
[02:24:58] A guy gets blown apart by an ID or takes a bullet to the chest and suddenly everything you've ever believed about the world collapses in a moment
[02:25:06] I turned 21 on October 17th but the day really didn't make me feel any older my inexperiences and Afghanistan however felt like they aged me years at a time
[02:25:16] We had left early in the afternoon on my birthday and we were now trying to make it back to patrol base beatly by nightfall
[02:25:25] It had been a four hour game of cat and mouse as we entered one patch of woods our patrol had frozen missed mid step as the dreaded sound of 203 fire echoed all around us
[02:25:36] A 203 is a grenade launcher that attaches to the bottom of rifle and when fired it makes a distinct foam sound
[02:25:42] Followed by an anxious wait to see where that deadly foam impacts
[02:25:47] Immediately our squad leader got in the radio to tell the other half of our squad to stop firing 203 until we could get their exact location
[02:25:55] We had intentionally split up to cover more ground but during the intense fighting through the thick tree lines and scattered villages we had become unsure of our exact proximity to one another
[02:26:06] A voice crackled over the radio that's not us those are not our 203's in an instant we went from frozen to executing some quick maneuvers to find cover for the first time in three months the enemy was launched grenades at us
[02:26:19] Happy birthday to me
[02:26:21] Yeah, never split forces
[02:26:25] That's what I'm going to do
[02:26:27] If you can avoid it, that's why you guys pulled it off, but it's so dangerous when you end up splitting forces. I know we didn't have to do it. I shouldn't say never split forces use caution
[02:26:37] Yeah, plan think communicate
[02:26:40] You continue on here maneuvering out of the tree line. We approached a compound on the outskirts of the village we were nearing
[02:26:45] As usual family livestock we're hanging out at the home two goats were tied up to a tree the chicken strung it around pecking at the ground
[02:26:52] We slowed down just in time to hear another dreaded fump from the 203 the scene couldn't have been scripted more perfectly the grenade rip through the air
[02:26:59] Struck a chicken vaporizing it in a d instant. I felt terrible for the chicken but part of me had to laugh because I was just relieved that our latest casualty wasn't another marine
[02:27:10] Before that battle was over I vividly remember crawling through the field with my weapon on my back holding the barrel over my shoulder to keep it as clean as possible
[02:27:18] Crawling just under the trajectory of incoming bullets. I couldn't help but think how strange it was that I might not even make it to enjoy my first legal beer
[02:27:28] That's a hell of a 21st birthday. You got going on there. I won't forget it. That's for sure
[02:27:34] When you're when you're doing these missions, where were you guys based out of? Were you guys just based out of a forward operating base somewhere?
[02:27:40] Petrol base a single as you know kind of mud hut compound type setup. We had a few F.G. and National Army members attached to us
[02:27:53] But it was just myself and my platoon when we started roughly 60 Marines. Unfortunately, yes, we lost some and had casualties along the way
[02:28:04] But it was just us and as a platoon there at Petrol base beat Lee in
[02:28:11] This specific village in Marja and
[02:28:17] How often were you guys going out on patrol? All day every day. All day every day. So we have all day every day get get your gear on
[02:28:27] What time were you guys going out? So with our four squads we sent out an early morning patrol
[02:28:34] Late morning slash early afternoon late afternoon and a night patrol doing that
[02:28:41] To not only continue to disrupt enemy activity operations
[02:28:47] Continue to expand that area of operation by pushing that enemy out
[02:28:53] But also and just as important
[02:28:58] Showing the civilian population that you really are there for them that you're willing to sacrifice for them
[02:29:05] To do those patrols get rid of that enemy that oppresses them that
[02:29:11] Kills them for wanting to learn how to read
[02:29:16] And so yeah and you know the mission and the kind of structure of your deployment depends on when you are there
[02:29:32] When you're there in time and when you're there in and the operational picture of things
[02:29:44] And with that said we were the second marine unit and some of the first Marines to put boots on the ground in that area
[02:29:58] Potentially you know in history as far as American forces go
[02:30:04] And no one had really been there since the Soviets in the 70s and so
[02:30:10] Because we were there so early on
[02:30:15] You know
[02:30:18] Looking ahead the angle is you want to
[02:30:22] And the big picture give these people a better life
[02:30:26] Help them to wake up every day and not live in fear
[02:30:30] And to hopefully see that better and brighter future
[02:30:35] But to get to that you have to create stability and a foundation
[02:30:42] So if you're there more towards kind of the end of that stability and that structure and your mission changes
[02:30:50] You hold that tempo you hold that stability
[02:30:54] While roads are being built, schools are being opened
[02:30:58] Fresh clean drinking water wells are being dug
[02:31:01] But in order to get to that you have to get rid of the instability, the bad guys, the enemy, the evil people that are creating all of these problems
[02:31:11] So when we were there I would love to say we had this profound mission
[02:31:18] And in a way it was but you know people actually know what are you really doing while you're going out there
[02:31:26] What we're doing while you are outside of your base
[02:31:31] And the simple answer is we would go out every day
[02:31:39] I mean and it's important to note every day from sun up to sun down
[02:31:45] Was a constant and vicious fight for survival
[02:31:49] Every single day was never a question of I wonder if we're going to get shot at today
[02:31:55] It was I wonder when we're going to get shot at today
[02:31:59] And every single day I never walked outside of friendly lines with less than 800 rounds for my saw
[02:32:08] And those a few times where I had to do the whole prayer walk back to base
[02:32:14] Just hoping I have zero rounds
[02:32:18] Please do not shoot us, please do not shoot us
[02:32:21] And after hours of fighting you know you it's kind of wishful thinking you think there's no way we're going to make it all over back to base
[02:32:29] So that getting attacked again
[02:32:31] Thankfully we did during those times
[02:32:34] But we were there in the beginning and our mission was to patrol
[02:32:38] And patrol just met every day all day sending out patrols
[02:32:43] Leaving those friendly lines and walking around until we picked a fight with the enemy
[02:32:49] And as crazy as it sounds that was the most efficient way to do it
[02:32:53] You go out you upset them because again you're trying to give this region these people a better life
[02:33:02] And I think in a way you're showing them the people that they really are
[02:33:11] And these Marines have to be here because you are such terrible and evil people
[02:33:17] Because as both of you know
[02:33:20] And so that's what we did all day every day we would go out and we'll walk around until we picked a fight with the enemy
[02:33:26] They came to us and we either continued to push them further out or eliminated them
[02:33:32] That's a hell of an opt-up
[02:33:37] So how big was each patrols each patrol squad?
[02:33:41] Squad
[02:33:42] And as you guys wrote that you'd get so for a few days you'd be the morning patrol then you'd be the afternoon patrol
[02:33:48] Then you'd be the afternoon patrols and you'd be the afternoons that how you'd rotate that
[02:33:50] Yeah a few weeks to maybe a month and you know we wanted that continuity of if you're a night patrol operating with those MVGs
[02:33:59] You know obviously we knew how to use them and we're effective with them
[02:34:05] But just keeping you know that rhythm that you know in your comfortable with and then you know we would have those transitional periods where
[02:34:15] You know we might go for night patrol to early afternoon patrol
[02:34:19] But you know to keep that presence and and strive for that stability we always kept to patrol out
[02:34:29] You say here again I'm always impressed with your perspective as a young Marine there
[02:34:39] You say I think a lot about the afghan people who were threatened with violence if they didn't raise a gun against the Americans
[02:34:44] On the surface it would be easy to classify them all as the enemy but some of them just wanted to be left alone to raise their families in peace
[02:34:52] How quickly did I dismiss people based on circumstances I didn't fully understand
[02:34:58] And what about the way people react to extremely high stress high stakes situations previously
[02:35:05] I might have regarded someone's panic or coping mechanisms as a sign of weakness
[02:35:09] But that was before I ever I had never lived with this kind of pressure and trauma before
[02:35:16] I know now how the horrific casualties I witnessed deeply impacted me, but what about the perspective of the guy who got hit?
[02:35:24] What about his family in an instant their lives changed forever in ways I couldn't fathom?
[02:35:29] I started asking myself when I am having an unshower dehydrated meal far away from home kind of day
[02:35:36] How do I react?
[02:35:38] How do I view myself and what does it mean that there are still people out there millions of them who have still got it worse than I do?
[02:35:48] They say there are no atheists and foxholes I think maybe we all become philosophers in combat outposts as well
[02:35:58] So you're seeing these things and you're thinking about them that's that's awesome
[02:36:05] That you perceive these things even as a young as a young kid
[02:36:10] Thank you.
[02:36:11] I give you maximum credit for your and what's good is that as you write this stuff down and you look back and you see how it affected you
[02:36:24] And it's neat to see in the arc of the book and again you got to read this book you can follow the arc of how you assemble these things
[02:36:33] And you know you started off earlier in this conversation talking about how what you went through kind of prepared you for
[02:36:40] What came and you can as you start as you read this book you put those pieces together and you can kind of see it form it's awesome
[02:36:48] Continuing on here
[02:36:51] There were certain sounds I never would have imagined that I could tune out like AK47's being shot at me with the intent to kill but at some point your brain starts
[02:37:00] Registering certain input as more of a nuisance than a threat
[02:37:04] Besides bullets were not our main concern we were focused on avoiding the IEDs that were stretched across roadways walking paths and inside of walls
[02:37:13] They taken quite a toll on two nine on September 30 if Lance Corporal Timothy M Jackson had been killed by an IED
[02:37:20] Then in mid November IEDs had taken out two more of our guys
[02:37:24] One of those remarkable Marines was our squad leader Zach Stinson who stepped on an IED
[02:37:30] That had been placed underground near a wall that separated two villages the scariest thing about the IED is that without a metal detector a well placed one can be almost impossible to spot even in broad daylight
[02:37:43] You lucky if the person who placed the IED is in experienced or lazy because they will lead leave red flags like disturbed dirt or a small trash pile that looks like it might have been constructed to hide something
[02:37:54] At about one PM we were walking on patrol through one of the dried up irrigation canals that crisscross the landscape
[02:38:02] We were scanning the terrain for town abandon making our way toward the next town we needed to secure when another dreaded explosion went off
[02:38:09] The shockwave of the blast rippled through our patrol. I was the fourth man in the patrol. The cloud of dust engulfed me as the debris rained down
[02:38:19] The stomach wrenching curiosity of who had been hit began to sink in
[02:38:24] It took a few seconds to locate Stinson because he had been blown about 15 feet and was on the other side of the wall of the canal
[02:38:32] We found him folded in half like a lawn chair. He was his one remaining foot was up by his head and his legs were mangled
[02:38:39] Christopher Doc friend our corpsman quickly evaluated the scene and announced I think Stinson is dead
[02:38:46] I didn't seem possible it didn't seem possible anyone could survive that incredibly Stinson called out
[02:38:52] I'm not dead. I just can't move Doc rushed over to administer triage care while other Marines called in medical evacuation helicopter
[02:39:00] And our squad move to provide cover
[02:39:02] Just as we got into position in surgeons open fire and began their attack
[02:39:06] They often attack after an ID blast because they know that our corpsman will be with the casualties leaving us exposed invulnerable
[02:39:13] Doc tried to pull Stinson stinson down to a safe location while I laid down fire to suppress the shooters
[02:39:21] The other Marines rushed to help the doc drag Stinson to safety behind the other canal wall
[02:39:28] As they did they realized that one of his legs was no longer attached to his body
[02:39:31] What was left simply stayed on the ground as he was dragged around the corner when Doc applied turnicates stinson asked us to take care of his wife back home
[02:39:41] Who was pregnant and he talked to us about our mission doc gave him an injection of morphine for the pain
[02:39:48] But it didn't knock him out he somehow remained conscious
[02:39:51] We remained under attack the entire time we waited for the medical evacuation helicopter to arrive almost 50 minutes
[02:40:00] It was the worst thing I ever witnessed
[02:40:04] You pointed out that moment of this explosion takes place
[02:40:15] It's close to you close enough that you're engulfed and dust
[02:40:19] At some point in the following seconds you realize you're okay
[02:40:23] And the very first thought that goes through your head is like okay
[02:40:27] Someone is not okay
[02:40:29] You don't even want to look around
[02:40:32] Because someone had to have initiated that
[02:40:36] ID and so you have to obviously you are concerned to say the least
[02:40:45] You want to get to them as quickly as possible to take care of them to comfort them
[02:40:51] But you don't want to look around and survey and look for
[02:41:01] And discover who that is
[02:41:08] 50 minutes for the
[02:41:10] Evac to get there
[02:41:14] You continue on a few hours later this is after the
[02:41:17] Caches the evacuation a few hours later after the sun and set I was on my shift as radio watch back at patrol base
[02:41:24] Abitly listening to information as it came in from the Marines who were outside of the wire during the silence of breaks in the radio traffic
[02:41:31] I couldn't help but let my mind wander back to the hour before was since and still alive
[02:41:35] How would his wife and family handle the news would I be able to survive something like that if it if or when it happened to me
[02:41:42] As my brain raised to compartmentalize the recent past my present reality suddenly became even worse
[02:41:48] Loose dirt crumbled out of the cracks in the wall as the room shook
[02:41:53] A second later the sound of a massive explosion reached us more than a mile away
[02:41:58] Lance Corporal Dakota Hughes had been making his way through the dark fields and tree lines with his squad on night patrol
[02:42:05] They were moving toward a village to our south the Taliban would flood fields in order to make it harder for us to advance quickly
[02:42:13] The inundated fields didn't slow down our tall guys much because the water was only about as high as their boots
[02:42:21] But for shorter guys like Dakota and me the water was up to our ankles and even our calves at times
[02:42:27] Between the water our 22 pound squad automatic weapons 20 to 30 pounds of machine gun ammo and 45 pounds of gear
[02:42:36] It was hard to move quickly and the Taliban knew that
[02:42:39] As Hughes and his squad approached the village he reached a goat path a small trail that surrounds an agricultural field
[02:42:47] And allows locals to travel through the patchwork of land without triggering their crops
[02:42:52] Stepping onto it a few moments later 19 year old Dakota from Greenwood Louisiana took his last step
[02:43:00] And breath on this earth so this
[02:43:18] Do you find out immediately that you know that he was KIA?
[02:43:28] It was that could be gathered from the radio traffic and the fact that
[02:43:35] And I'm hesitant to go in to detail just in case his family
[02:43:45] I ever listened to this but at the same time I think
[02:43:53] I think that it's important for people to know what really happens
[02:43:58] Sacrifices that are really made
[02:44:04] And so if we couldn't conclude that from the radio traffic
[02:44:10] When they got back to our patrol base they didn't call on a metavac
[02:44:18] They couldn't even bring Hughes back because the idea had been so big and inflicted so much damage that
[02:44:38] It would not have been wise at dark to start walking all over that field to look for the pieces of Hughes that were left
[02:44:58] And was that the first guy from your patrol that was killed?
[02:45:08] Because since he had been cast back and he survived
[02:45:14] He survived and yeah it was amazing now he's completely outnumbered by enemy forces with not one but two baby girls now
[02:45:23] But he's doing amazing he's crushing marathons on his hand cycle
[02:45:29] Just finished his first Iron Man I take something like two
[02:45:33] Take it easy man you're really making all this guys with both our legs and healthy look bad
[02:45:40] But he's doing amazing and hopefully if he keeps he keeps working hard
[02:45:47] Which he always has and I keep doing well I hope that maybe one day soon or rather later
[02:45:55] He will be representing our country potentially and the parallelmpics
[02:46:01] So he's done amazing and we recovered together and really grew our relationship
[02:46:07] At Walter Reed for the years that we were there
[02:46:11] And I'm glad you brought the story up because as we talked about
[02:46:18] Leadership is vital obviously
[02:46:23] And no marine is ever from the first day of boot camp as a recruit or a marine that's been in 40 years compared to a marine that's been in a week
[02:46:34] No one lives no marine is more important than those to your right and left
[02:46:41] But stints in was the highest ranking marine and leader he was our squad leader on that patrol
[02:46:49] Leadership is especially important in vital on the battlefield not only to communicate that strategic information to hire up
[02:47:02] So then you're trained to command to keep that order in discipline on the battlefield
[02:47:08] And arguably most importantly to direct troop movements during engagement with the enemy
[02:47:16] So although he's not more important his job it could be argued is more important
[02:47:24] And is the most vital role out of our squad that needs to last as long as possible
[02:47:34] So with that said from the moment that I did went off I had always wondered why did that happen
[02:47:49] And not why did it happen as as and why was there an ID there but why was stints in specifically the casualty we took
[02:47:57] And when I speak to companies and corporations I relay this story because I think it is one of the greatest examples of leadership
[02:48:07] But years later we're sitting in his Walter Reed wounded warrior barracks room
[02:48:16] And it was they were nice it was more not Marine Corps barracks it was they were a little more luxurious
[02:48:23] They had a couple of bedrooms and your family could live there with you while you were covered and so you could have that support system
[02:48:32] And we're sitting there and watching his pn and he's in his wheelchair while Olivia
[02:48:41] His daughter was an amazing moment at least just me I didn't see anything but his daughter that he had in his what we thought
[02:48:48] Where his final moments given us you know his final request take care of my wife and my unborn first child
[02:48:56] And baby daughter and she's Olivia crawling all over and all of his wheelchair you know what's what's left of his legs
[02:49:05] And in that moment time and past we had healed we had got to better places and so I finally got the opportunity years later to ask him what I'd always wondered that question
[02:49:18] And his answer was very simple but very profound and he said I'm just glad it was me and not one of you guys
[02:49:27] And so you have to know as a leader that your responsibility is laced with risk and that if and when that risk comes to fruition
[02:49:42] You not only are obligated but you are you are expected
[02:49:54] To bear the burden for those that you lead
[02:50:01] And so since and taught me a very powerful lesson that I've always carried with me and I'm very thankful that of course he not only survived
[02:50:10] But he continued to be able to hear and teach me things along the way as we were covered together
[02:50:16] Yeah that's what we talked about earlier I mean he proved that moment you know that he cared about you guys more than he cared about himself
[02:50:26] Which is one of good leaders going to do
[02:50:29] And when it's corporal to go to use we had many casualties but he was our second killed in action and 12 days later at our new
[02:50:47] Petrol base that we were living and operating out of named Petrol base Dakota is where I was injured about a week and a half later
[02:50:58] Well after after that had happened after you lost use to that ID
[02:51:06] I'm going back to the book here it says 10 days later word came from command that we needed to expand our area of operation to create more of a presence in the area
[02:51:14] My squad got orders to help establish a new compound and the village to the south
[02:51:20] The same one we're used and stepped on the ID because it was a Taliban stronghold in the region
[02:51:25] So there you go you went with the Marine Corps does that's what they do. Oh, we got a problem cool we're going to go attack the problem
[02:51:31] The village was tiny no bigger than a hotel conference room
[02:51:35] And the home we were occupying was only two stories high though it was one of the largest structures in the area
[02:51:41] Unfortunately the intel we'd received proved accurate that there were Taliban and the village and they weren't happy about our arrival and the choice of landing spot
[02:51:52] And again skipping a bunch of stuff you guys are now
[02:51:56] Kind of in this in this new position as the afternoon sunlight started to fade
[02:52:00] I was instructed to get off the roof and keep post in the room directly below. This is after you had spent a bunch of time in YouTube great job covering this in the book of
[02:52:08] You're up there trying to build put put some sandbag protection up and there's a guy basically taking sniper shots at you
[02:52:16] And you're just staying up there staying low people handing you up full sandbags you're putting them in position every time you put it in a position
[02:52:24] Boamy cracks off around at you
[02:52:26] So
[02:52:28] Yeah, it was probably a really stupid assumption at the time that he had a single ball action rifle
[02:52:34] But I thought that's the what I gathered from the first couple shots
[02:52:38] And so thankfully he was nice enough. He didn't start shooting at me until I got three sandbags high of a kind of semi circle wall on that roof and around me so when he did start shooting
[02:52:51] If I laid completely flat
[02:52:54] I was covered by those sandbags, but for the most part. Yeah, yeah, but it was a it was eerie to
[02:53:04] Be behind those sandbags laying up against them and I can still feel right now
[02:53:10] When he would take those shots and usually the Taliban weren't extremely accurate especially I mean we
[02:53:19] Rarely if ever up until this point saw snipers and if we did they were not accurate and so that was surprising
[02:53:28] But it was just so eerie to lay behind those sandbags and when we heard the crack of the rifle to be able to feel
[02:53:37] Because of you so accurate the thud of that round impacting the sandbags that I was laying up against
[02:53:45] Yeah, as you said it may not have been the best decision to stay up there
[02:53:52] Add it to the list
[02:53:54] We live and learn so then finally you do you do get instructed to get off the roof and move to a room below and then you say this
[02:54:03] I gouged out a little hole in the wall so I could get a better vantage point about 45 seconds later
[02:54:08] A rocket came barreling into the roof and the sandbag wall
[02:54:11] I just built completely a blitter rating the post position
[02:54:15] It was as if I had stepped into the middle of a tornado the debris cloud surrounding me was so thick that I couldn't
[02:54:21] See and couldn't breathe my squad members immediately realized what happened to the roof and Doc friend was scrambling for his medic bag ready to rush
[02:54:29] In and see if there were any signs of life somehow I wasn't injured and was able to get up and walk out of the room on my own
[02:54:38] So that they obviously don't want you there continuing on we officially lost the roof as a vantage point from this post
[02:54:45] We were now facing four major challenges the first was we had probably we that we had previously had two positions in the compound on each of the two roofs
[02:54:54] But now we only had one so we had to double up on the remaining roof the second was that it wasn't a great position to begin with
[02:55:00] Since we couldn't see as far out as we would have liked to from just two stories up the third was that we were now dangerously low on sandbags and fourth was that because we only had enough sandbags for a three to four foot stack
[02:55:13] We would have to stand post into somewhat recline position in order to not be exposed that meant the enemy could sneak right up alongside the building in
[02:55:22] Throne explosive over the compound wall or fired us then dart away
[02:55:27] The weakness of our position was proved almost immediately
[02:55:31] We heard a thud thud thud from the courtyard outside the building as if someone were tossing something over the wall compound
[02:55:38] There was just enough time to ask who's throwing rocks before the first round of explosions began they weren't rocks
[02:55:45] They were grenades Brad Skipper had been sitting outside as he cleaned his weapon and he took off running for cover
[02:55:51] As he took off running for cover a grenade exploded near him
[02:55:54] He staggered into the house squirting blood from a hole in his spleen
[02:55:58] I had been outside in the courtyard of the compound helping dig a burn pit and fill more sandbags when I saw what happened
[02:56:04] I took off after Skipper reaching the house just a few seconds after him
[02:56:08] Doc who was inside stuck his finger and discipers wound to stop the bleeding while he grabbed his supplies
[02:56:13] Skipper kept pounding on his chest to tell us he couldn't breathe
[02:56:16] I kneeled down next to his head as sureing him he was going to be okay
[02:56:19] And that pretty soon we'd have all the ice-geet have all the ice cream you could eat in the hospital
[02:56:24] Doc grabbed what he needed and performed a needle deep compression on Skipper for a collapsed lung
[02:56:29] It was the first one he'd ever performed
[02:56:31] I crazed watching them jam the needle into the skippers into Skipper's side
[02:56:35] But when he heard what's what when we heard what sounded like a balloon letting out air as Skipper's long re-inflate
[02:56:41] As Skipper's long re-inflated we all wanted to high five dock
[02:56:46] But he was a little busy Jake below tame I say in that right below Jake below who had been outside the courtyard in the courtyard
[02:56:54] Made his way to the house as well. Why does she covered him blood from where Shrapple had hit him in the groin?
[02:56:59] Two things were abundantly clear to me
[02:57:01] Cornman our worth their waiting gold and PB Dakota
[02:57:04] Was not going to be easily held
[02:57:07] So
[02:57:09] You get those guys out of there right you get those guys cows of act we did and we also lost one of the few
[02:57:19] It's just a casualty but who was also who was Shrapple and I wanted the few Afghanistan National Army members that had gone down on this mission with a
[02:57:28] And so right there immediately just from hangar nades and not even leaving
[02:57:33] Our four walls of our patrol base we were down three guys and we had all gone down there with a
[02:57:40] Squad and arguably a small squad and our mission and we did this to give people listening context
[02:57:49] We were over the halfway point of our deployment
[02:57:53] When you're you know we stood three months, but when you're you can see the end inside
[02:57:58] You know that at seven months whether you want to or not your times up you're going back home
[02:58:04] And another unit is going to come in and relieve you
[02:58:08] To prepare for that and to continue to
[02:58:14] Keep the momentum going of an efficient mission
[02:58:18] Just like with anything in live hopefully you want to leave it better than you found it
[02:58:25] So you know say and and this is random numbers
[02:58:31] I don't know what they are but say our area of operation was was two square miles
[02:58:37] Looking ahead to that next deployment and leaving things better for them
[02:58:43] Then when you got there you want to expand your area of operation
[02:58:48] To continue to push that enemy out and continue that mission of creating stability
[02:58:55] Which we've we've already talked about so
[02:59:00] When that time frame is drawing to an end you want to like we did push into those outer
[02:59:09] Outscirt villages from your area of operation and doing that
[02:59:14] Again those nothing sexy about this mission
[02:59:18] We were to go down there pack as much as we could in a bag in a day pack
[02:59:25] Food water ammo and stick your foot in the ground
[02:59:31] Don't move and try to survive for the next few days until we can get you reinforcements
[02:59:37] And that is the first step that I was talking about earlier that you need
[02:59:44] To accomplish in order for years down the road to have a school across the street
[02:59:50] To have those fresh clean drinking water wells
[02:59:55] And so that was our mission getting down there on November 19th
[03:00:00] Rockets multiple hand grenade attacks multiple casualties
[03:00:06] And our numbers weren't strong to begin with
[03:00:09] And now with those three casualties we're already creeping towards
[03:00:16] Not only being combat ineffective but just for self preservation, needing reinforcements
[03:00:25] Yes, this is a rough situation
[03:00:29] How many people do you have right now? Like what do you down to?
[03:00:35] You know I shouldn't know this especially after
[03:00:37] But I mean just like an estimate you got
[03:00:40] These are squad plus some Afghans is it?
[03:00:43] 10 or 11 Marines with a Navy corpsman and then three or four Afghanistan National Army members
[03:00:49] So you got 15 guys roughly
[03:00:52] Generously and with that said
[03:00:56] You know surrounded by villages and miles of enemies
[03:01:02] How far away from you are the how far are you away from the patrol base
[03:01:07] That you let you left to get it down here
[03:01:11] Oh, is it like 500 meters?
[03:01:14] There's like three or four clicks
[03:01:17] Click to at the most maybe a click and a half
[03:01:22] And that's where the rest of your Paltinas
[03:01:24] Correct, still at patrol base beatly
[03:01:26] Then we were setting up patrol base Dakota
[03:01:29] And did you guys have any vehicles there at all?
[03:01:33] It was so then your feet
[03:01:35] Yeah, that's it the Marine vehicles
[03:01:38] No no vehicles
[03:01:40] It was so primitive and there was so little to no infrastructure
[03:01:46] And because there was no paved roads vehicles could not get to where we were
[03:01:52] Not only not having roads but not having roads
[03:01:58] Leeds to dirt paths
[03:02:03] That if you take a seven-ton truck on
[03:02:06] The side of that canal collapses and you have four Marines strapped into an armored vehicle
[03:02:12] Upside down in water
[03:02:15] And so it wasn't worth the risk
[03:02:17] And you know what that said
[03:02:19] We're so far out behind enemy lines
[03:02:23] And that enemy territory that for those seven months
[03:02:26] Well, the four that I survived
[03:02:28] Anything and everything we needed
[03:02:31] From water, food, ammo, medical supplies
[03:02:35] Had to be brought in by aircraft and helicopters
[03:02:40] And I even remember there were times where they brought things at night
[03:02:44] Because during the day a lot of times they would have to you turn
[03:02:47] And return to base and bring it later
[03:02:50] Because you don't want an offspring crashing
[03:02:55] And some random backfield and Marjav Ganeshan
[03:03:00] Especially, I mean hopefully everyone survives
[03:03:05] But having aircraft crash, no vehicles, no support
[03:03:10] No nothing and you're going to potentially have survivors of that aircraft crash
[03:03:17] Immediately be pretty much a blackhawk down situation
[03:03:23] Rough day
[03:03:28] Rough day
[03:03:30] As we were prepping for this, you know, it's today's November 20th
[03:03:34] 2019
[03:03:36] And what we just talked about was November 20th, 2010
[03:03:41] Getting to the next day
[03:03:45] So now it's November 21st, 2010
[03:03:48] It's the next day
[03:03:50] Here we go, our solution to the visibility problem
[03:03:53] On post was that we were going to put two people on the roof at the same time
[03:03:57] This gave us an extra set of eyes to help evaluate the scene
[03:04:00] Nick and I began our first shift at noon, it was quite almost eerily so
[03:04:03] During the entire four hour shift
[03:04:05] Because the sandbag walls were so low we had to lean back
[03:04:08] Proped up just enough to see over the edge
[03:04:10] We've only our head and shoulders exposed
[03:04:12] As we scan the weirdly silent village, waiting for something to pop off
[03:04:17] And we went through the different scenarios we might encounter
[03:04:20] If we could attack from this direction, you do this and I'll do this
[03:04:24] But if it's the other direction, we'll need to do this instead
[03:04:27] I was glad to be on post with Nick, especially on that day when something just fell off
[03:04:31] Nick and I started going over the one-fc scenario again
[03:04:35] We hadn't seen any grenades our entire deployment
[03:04:38] That isn't till the day before
[03:04:40] Previously the enemy preferred guns and rockets
[03:04:43] But after seeing grenades thrown over the wall of the compound yesterday
[03:04:46] We now knew they were a possibility
[03:04:48] So Nick, I joked making fun of this of his crazy strong massachusetts accent
[03:04:54] As best I could
[03:04:56] What happens if they throw grenade up here?
[03:04:59] My asses off this effing roofy set
[03:05:03] I laughed dude, I'm right behind you
[03:05:06] So you guys are going through some scenarios that could unfold
[03:05:11] Some what-ifs
[03:05:13] That's what's going on
[03:05:16] So you guys are up there
[03:05:21] And then we get here presumably there is a soft sound
[03:05:24] And a puff of dust is something lands near our feet
[03:05:27] But I don't remember it
[03:05:28] All I know is that my body reacts instinctively before my mind
[03:05:31] Even registers what it is
[03:05:33] Then suddenly it feels like I've been hit really hard in the face
[03:05:36] And I can't see a thing
[03:05:37] It's as if I'm looking at a TV with no connection
[03:05:39] Just white and gray static
[03:05:41] My ears are ringing extremely loud but my body is numb
[03:05:44] There's no connection, no through line, no logical progression of events
[03:05:48] I just remember heat, laughter
[03:05:50] And then a massive impact
[03:05:52] As all of my senses go haywire for reasons I can't explain
[03:05:56] The last thing I remember clearly is laughing with Nick before starting to move towards something
[03:06:02] And here's an official report
[03:06:04] Four eyewitnesses saw Lance Corporal
[03:06:07] Carpenter rise up to a standing or kneeling position immediately prior to the blast
[03:06:11] Multiple eyewitnesses saw Lance Corporal Carpenter's body line
[03:06:15] Directly over the blast hole immediately after the grenade detonator detonated
[03:06:19] The explosive ordinance disposal staff non-commissioned officer attached to the
[03:06:23] Paltoon provided his expert opinion that the grenade had to have been covered by a heavy object
[03:06:28] To blast through the roof
[03:06:30] And that the significant damage done to Lance Corporal Carpenter's personal protective equipment
[03:06:35] Particularly his small arms protective insert, Sappy, played carrier
[03:06:39] Was consistent with the grenade detonating immediately under or in close proximity to his body
[03:06:45] In other words, I threw myself over the grenade apparently
[03:06:50] I don't remember thinking about it and I certainly don't recall actually doing it
[03:06:54] I only remember the after effects a few seconds after the strain just sold on my senses
[03:06:59] I tried to shake it off and push my body up but I couldn't feel my arms
[03:07:04] With every ounce of strength I possessed I worked to push myself up
[03:07:08] But my body simply would not respond the disorientation was overwhelming five seconds before everything seemed normal
[03:07:15] Suddenly I was numb and vaguely aware that I probably should be in pain
[03:07:18] But I could feel nothing at all
[03:07:20] I knew I was alive so I must be okay
[03:07:22] But nothing made sense why couldn't I see what was that deafening roar that was blocking out every other sound
[03:07:28] Where was I and why was everything numb
[03:07:31] Calm down and think the last thing I remember is being on the roof I reasoned in my head
[03:07:36] I wonder what could have entered me this badly on the roof
[03:07:39] Or did I get off the roof and went on patrol and all this is just going on in my head
[03:07:43] Maybe I stepped on an IED and the last thing I remember is being on that roof
[03:07:47] As I was puzzling through these questions
[03:07:50] All of them racing through my mind in a split second my confusion grew even deeper as I realized that someone was pouring warm water all over me
[03:07:58] What was happening nothing made sense and I had no context to even try and make sense out of it
[03:08:03] I was on the roof talking to Nick then this whatever this was
[03:08:08] As I searched for answers my brain was fiercely putting the pieces together to create some kind of meaning and then it clicked this wasn't water
[03:08:16] It was blood
[03:08:18] I was bleeding out
[03:08:20] At that same moment I tried to call for help
[03:08:23] But the only thing I could feel was that my tongue was searching for my lower jaw
[03:08:28] No cheeks, no teeth, no jaw
[03:08:31] It was as if the bottom part of my mouth had disappeared
[03:08:35] A seat of panic started to grow inside me
[03:08:38] Was I just in shock or was I really missing part of my face
[03:08:42] According to the reports a great friend in one of the greatest Marines I've ever known
[03:08:46] Jared Lilly had been watching us from the stairs and was the first one to the roof just seconds after the explosion
[03:08:52] He immediately screamed for Doc Friend
[03:08:54] Normally Doc would have stayed downstairs until we had a chance to sweep the perimeter and make sure that there was no one hiding in an effort to ambush our medic
[03:09:01] But Jared knew there was no time for that
[03:09:03] Doc came pounding up the shaky bamboo ladder from the room below and saw me lying face down on the sandbags with one glance
[03:09:10] He sized up the scene and realized that even though in realized that even though was probably too late for me Nick had a chance
[03:09:17] He had taken shrapnel to the forehead that had blown up
[03:09:20] And under his helmet not good, but he was still breathing
[03:09:24] Well kind of the report said it was more of a snoring sound as his body struggled to pull air into his lungs
[03:09:30] So Doc went to work stabilizing him while the rest of our guys radioed for MetaVax and back up
[03:09:36] There it is
[03:09:42] It's weird I first saw an interview with you with some with you some time along time ago
[03:09:48] And I remember you saying yeah, I don't really remember it
[03:09:51] Which is crazy to have this incredible amount of focus on your life story
[03:09:56] On a situation that you don't remember and I've been knocked out before and I mean I imagine this is just like the absolute worst knockout a person can can get
[03:10:05] And you know you wake up and you go away where am I you know I've been knocked out and just you know come to go and know
[03:10:12] Wait a second where am I and that's basically what what you had
[03:10:16] Yeah, and you're exactly right it is you know at in the beginning after five weeks later after I woke up after those what I thought or my final moments on that roof
[03:10:28] It used to frustrate me that I couldn't remember and I don't I don't think it would if there were no external influences
[03:10:38] But knowing that the Marine Corps the military department of defense and
[03:10:44] In a way the whole country and world we're looking into talking about examining
[03:10:51] Parts of your life that you can't remember was wild and
[03:11:02] You know, but as with everything I tried to not only see both sides, but really think through it
[03:11:09] And thankfully and eventually I just realized how wrong of a mindset that was and not only is it understandable that I don't remember anything
[03:11:22] I just taken a grenade to the face but also I woke up and I'm still here
[03:11:31] And I'm so thankful and grateful to be alive like who cares that I can't remember not that they would have taken my I witnessed statement anyway
[03:11:40] Because you can't be injured and be an eyewitness just because the last mile of effect did your memory of things and so
[03:11:50] Yeah, you know when when everything kind of started with the metal and I'm going for it a little bit
[03:11:55] So we can backtrack but yeah, you know they called me up first phone call in the hospital and I just said I'm sorry
[03:12:03] You know, I don't there's nothing that I remember that can help hurt assist in any way with this investigation
[03:12:11] And chief foreign officer five's reads
[03:12:15] He was assigned to to nine second to tiny night Marines just to spearhead this investigation
[03:12:25] You know he thanked me from my honesty and he told me no matter what happens what this investigation turns up
[03:12:30] That we're proud of you and the job your fellow Marines did and we're thankful for your service and that was really it
[03:12:38] But yes, you're right it was weird and frustrating to have this happen and has so much
[03:12:51] So many people so much time and effort going into these moments that
[03:12:58] We're nothing but a dark abyss to me.
[03:13:05] I was actually surprised at how much you did remember. I mean and because I mean this is devastating injuries
[03:13:15] But you you you re-gained consciousness and memory pretty quickly. I'm going back to the book here. Here's doc
[03:13:23] Blood was on every inch of my body my body on my arm was torn torn mangled a huge portion of my face
[03:13:28] Was hanging off my skull and on to my shoulder which clearly had a trap and all embedded in it docatzy that I was struggling to breathe
[03:13:34] So we started putting in airway and before they took me off the roof
[03:13:38] He figured he could put Humpty dumpty back together again after they got me on the ground
[03:13:43] But I had but he had a choice to make normally with a fractured face in oral fair and geal would be the way to go
[03:13:53] But he did but I didn't have any jaw left to help create the airway
[03:13:58] So he had only three choices he could cut my throat open with his pocket knife to create it in airway
[03:14:03] Which is was even more terrifying than it sounds because he didn't have a mask or a bag to help me breathe
[03:14:09] So he would have had to do the breathing for me through a rubber camel back tube from our hiking canteens
[03:14:16] Or he could crack through my nose and down the back of my throat to create an artificial airway as I was choking on blood
[03:14:23] But he didn't have a crack kid either or I could somehow figure out how to breathe on my own
[03:14:27] But I was still choking so he realized he was going to have to improvise with that same pocket knife and camel back tube and rig up a crack
[03:14:35] That wasn't the sort of thing they taught when he was preparing to be a medic
[03:14:39] Presumably because they never anticipated a fire team would run into so many casualties in such a little time to exhaust their supplies
[03:14:46] He put a device into my nose to support the tube and that sensation was the trigger that jerk me back to consciousness
[03:14:52] And made me start coughing
[03:14:54] Doc needed to lay me down to finish the procedure
[03:14:56] But he was afraid of all my teeth fragments falling back into my throat
[03:14:59] So he kept me sitting up right as he worked
[03:15:02] I kept trying to talk but I only sounded like gurgling from
[03:15:05] Gurgling water from all the blood and tissue blocking my throat
[03:15:09] Even though they couldn't understand a word my attempt at speaking was a good thing
[03:15:13] Because Doc saw that my body was somehow still functional enough to keep me breathing
[03:15:18] So he decided not to risk the crack it after all
[03:15:21] As he pulled the plug from my nose a huge stream of mucus and blood came with it
[03:15:25] And I suddenly began to take more to take an air more easily
[03:15:29] So I mean I'm picturing this and it's like looking at you look now
[03:15:34] You can tell you got dinged up but this is like catastrophic injuries
[03:15:39] It's still
[03:15:41] I mean borderline unreal to even still working on this for two years
[03:15:46] Obviously knowing for nine years now what happened
[03:15:49] Experiencing it myself
[03:15:52] It's just
[03:15:54] To still to surreal to kind of bring in that it not only happened
[03:15:59] But that I did survive it and
[03:16:02] You're right I haven't really thought of it that way before but it is amazing that
[03:16:07] I can remember anything at all
[03:16:09] But
[03:16:11] And thankfully now again looking back
[03:16:17] I'm thankful that
[03:16:20] You know besides seeing
[03:16:23] Whiten-grace static and my ears ringing and not being disoriented
[03:16:28] Not knowing what happened
[03:16:30] You know all of those stalls
[03:16:33] We're only going on on my head
[03:16:36] And all of that really happened in just a few seconds
[03:16:41] And the most profound
[03:16:46] Couple of things that I do remember
[03:16:50] And at the time
[03:16:53] It was just
[03:16:56] Too heavy in my mind and with the blood loss
[03:17:00] To even halfway process or comprehend
[03:17:03] And it's crazy to think about and think back to what you thought
[03:17:07] Or your final moments on this earth
[03:17:09] But I'm so thankful that I did
[03:17:13] Get knocked down so hard
[03:17:15] That I did have those final moments
[03:17:18] Where I truly thought that was it
[03:17:20] After I put the pieces together
[03:17:24] Okay, this isn't water
[03:17:27] My buddies aren't messing with me
[03:17:29] This is blood I'm bleeding out
[03:17:31] I knew that from how I felt
[03:17:34] The casualties I had unfortunately seen so far on that deployment
[03:17:38] And just the basic medical training we get as Marines
[03:17:41] Once I realized that it wasn't warm water and I was bleeding out
[03:17:46] I used those last few seconds
[03:17:49] I thought about my family
[03:17:51] Specifically my mom again
[03:17:54] And how devastated that she was going to be
[03:17:57] That I did not survive to make it home
[03:18:00] I said a quick prayer for forgiveness
[03:18:03] And anything I had done wrong
[03:18:05] And I faded from consciousness in the world
[03:18:10] And I say that I'm thankful that I tasted death
[03:18:15] And I went through that
[03:18:17] What I thought was final moments
[03:18:19] Because now I know and I can share with people
[03:18:26] And it sounds kind of cliche
[03:18:29] But just how truly
[03:18:32] Vyneite and delicate
[03:18:36] And beautiful life is
[03:18:39] And I can tell people
[03:18:42] Thinkfully that have not tasted those final moments
[03:18:47] And have never had that reality check
[03:18:51] Which is great
[03:18:53] But I think a lot of times
[03:18:57] We just again go back to that
[03:19:03] Maybe the invincible conversation
[03:19:06] And always thinking it's going to be someone else
[03:19:09] That's it
[03:19:11] We always do think it's going to be someone else
[03:19:13] And so to remind people and give them that reality check
[03:19:17] Hey, really think about
[03:19:20] And really realize
[03:19:25] That at any moment
[03:19:30] In the military or as a civilian
[03:19:35] With the terrorist attacks
[03:19:38] With cars playing at any moment
[03:19:42] You could be that someone else
[03:19:44] Tasting those final moments
[03:19:46] So before you get to those
[03:19:49] Not only strive to be a good person
[03:19:53] And live your life throughout way
[03:19:55] And love and care about those around you
[03:19:57] But for yourself
[03:20:00] Don't get to those final moments
[03:20:03] And wish that you have more time
[03:20:06] Or wish that you had a few more seconds
[03:20:08] Before the darkness closes in
[03:20:13] And so it just gives me such a profound
[03:20:16] Just appreciation for
[03:20:19] Not only waking up after that
[03:20:22] But you know being able to
[03:20:26] Continue live my life
[03:20:28] Knowing that it just makes it so much sweeter
[03:20:31] But also
[03:20:33] The downfall
[03:20:35] And negative side is
[03:20:37] Once you had tasted that
[03:20:41] Or been around guys
[03:20:43] And has seen those final moments in their eyes
[03:20:47] And it heard those last breaths
[03:20:51] You know I'm not scared of that now
[03:20:55] And I don't
[03:20:57] Dread it
[03:20:58] I don't think anymore than I would have before
[03:21:01] But just
[03:21:04] Knowing and experiencing
[03:21:07] That when those lights went out
[03:21:10] Until I woke up five weeks later
[03:21:13] They were out
[03:21:14] And it wasn't
[03:21:16] Even a darkness
[03:21:18] It was
[03:21:20] It was
[03:21:22] A darkness of nothing
[03:21:27] And so before you get to that darkness
[03:21:31] Enjoy love and live your life
[03:21:35] But waking up that's you know that is
[03:21:38] Really what started
[03:21:40] This new path and journey
[03:21:43] Overcovering
[03:21:45] And
[03:21:47] Self discovery
[03:21:49] I guess you could say
[03:21:52] That I'm living now
[03:21:56] There's a bunch of things that went down
[03:22:01] As all this is happening
[03:22:04] I mean for one
[03:22:06] There happened to be two
[03:22:08] Casivak birds that were nearby
[03:22:10] That were there in a matter of
[03:22:12] 10, 15 minutes
[03:22:13] 12 minutes is what the actual number is
[03:22:16] There was dock that was trying to give you a shot
[03:22:19] A morphing to
[03:22:21] To ease the pain
[03:22:23] And as he's they had wrapped so much
[03:22:27] Gauze around you to try and
[03:22:29] Provent you from bleeding out
[03:22:31] That as he's trying to give you a shot
[03:22:33] A morphing the needle breaks and he can't give you
[03:22:35] Any morphing
[03:22:36] His last
[03:22:38] More thing shot
[03:22:39] Oh so he broke that one
[03:22:41] If you had a one more he would have pulled out
[03:22:43] Another one cleared some of the
[03:22:44] Gauze away and given it to you
[03:22:45] Correct
[03:22:46] And they told me
[03:22:48] After the fact after I woke up
[03:22:51] That if I would have received a single drop
[03:22:54] A more thin
[03:22:55] It would have depressed my respiratory system
[03:22:58] To the point of being
[03:23:00] Unrecoverable to where they could not
[03:23:02] Resuscitate me
[03:23:03] And it was the combat gauze
[03:23:05] That
[03:23:07] They had that 12 minutes
[03:23:08] And it was kind of like
[03:23:10] Okay, we had the combat gauze
[03:23:12] We have a couple minutes
[03:23:13] Even though his legs are just
[03:23:15] Minor tissue wounds
[03:23:17] Compared to everything else
[03:23:18] And I wasn't even bleeding out of my legs
[03:23:21] And they were a little tore up
[03:23:23] But I wasn't even bleeding out of my legs
[03:23:25] Because I wasn't even bleeding out of the hole
[03:23:28] And my carotid
[03:23:29] Because my break-yall
[03:23:31] Artary which had been blown open
[03:23:33] Was putting out so much blood
[03:23:35] And so
[03:23:36] The needle caught the combat gauze
[03:23:39] That was wrapped around my leg
[03:23:41] Which was at the time
[03:23:42] A paper cut compared to everything else
[03:23:45] If that
[03:23:46] And so that just
[03:23:48] And I think you're getting into it
[03:23:50] But just one of the few
[03:23:52] Beginning of those dominoes of miracles
[03:23:55] That
[03:23:56] Allow me to be sitting right here with you
[03:23:59] Yeah, you say this
[03:24:01] There are two types of miracles
[03:24:03] The first kind of miracles
[03:24:04] One
[03:24:05] When one amazing thing happens
[03:24:07] And there's no explaining
[03:24:09] How or why
[03:24:09] The second kind is when there are
[03:24:11] There is a massive line of dominoes
[03:24:14] Set up that all have to fall
[03:24:16] Precisely right way
[03:24:17] And at the right time
[03:24:19] For something to work out
[03:24:20] This piece of my life
[03:24:22] Is the second kind of miracle
[03:24:24] So number one
[03:24:26] The
[03:24:27] Casavac helicopter
[03:24:29] Being in the area
[03:24:31] They're there pick you up in
[03:24:32] Twelve minutes
[03:24:33] That's a miracle
[03:24:34] A few days earlier
[03:24:35] It had taken 50 minutes
[03:24:37] Which there's no way you live in
[03:24:38] Fifty minutes
[03:24:39] Then you already talk about the
[03:24:42] The morphine
[03:24:44] If they'd given you that morphine
[03:24:46] Or had one more morphine
[03:24:48] To hit you with
[03:24:50] Because the first one broke
[03:24:52] You wouldn't survive
[03:24:53] They would've killed you
[03:24:55] And
[03:24:57] And then
[03:24:58] You have this
[03:24:59] First I was phone to cap
[03:25:00] But camp-assgent
[03:25:01] Bastion
[03:25:02] I was treated by
[03:25:03] A
[03:25:04] Armor
[03:25:05] Army Forward surgical team
[03:25:07] My official ruling upon arrival
[03:25:09] Was E
[03:25:10] Was P.E.A.
[03:25:12] Policist Electrical
[03:25:14] Activity
[03:25:15] Meaning I had flatlined
[03:25:17] But the medical staff there
[03:25:18] Restarted my heart
[03:25:19] And managed to stabilize me
[03:25:21] Enough to send me on to can to heart
[03:25:23] So
[03:25:25] That's another
[03:25:26] So you got your flatlined your dead
[03:25:27] And they bring you back
[03:25:28] And then the last one
[03:25:29] One of the morning of November
[03:25:30] Twenty-fourth
[03:25:31] You flatlined again
[03:25:34] And you got revived again
[03:25:36] So
[03:25:37] That's Miracle upon Miracle
[03:25:39] That's your sitting here right now
[03:25:42] And any
[03:25:44] I mean what are the chances
[03:25:45] That doc friend could have loaded
[03:25:47] Two extra morphine in this back
[03:25:48] Right?
[03:25:49] I mean it's just
[03:25:51] There's so many different ways
[03:25:53] This could've gone
[03:25:54] You get to launch tool
[03:25:58] The nickname for launch tool
[03:25:59] As halfway home
[03:26:00] Because once wounded military members
[03:26:02] They're
[03:26:03] Make it there
[03:26:04] Their chances of survival
[03:26:05] And they're
[03:26:08] Their chances of survival
[03:26:10] Rized drastically
[03:26:11] The fact that I had survived
[03:26:12] Long enough to make it to long
[03:26:13] Strule was a miracle
[03:26:15] On Wednesday, November 24th
[03:26:18] Master Sergeant
[03:26:19] Chuck Williams
[03:26:20] A chaplain's assistant from South Carolina
[03:26:22] It was reviewing the list of
[03:26:24] Chocks
[03:26:25] Expected that day
[03:26:26] That's folks that are coming in
[03:26:28] He always checked for
[03:26:29] Reservis and National Guard
[03:26:31] Guard's men since he served
[03:26:32] Through the South Carolina
[03:26:34] Air National Guard
[03:26:35] But that day he was also
[03:26:36] Scenning the list for my name
[03:26:38] He'd gotten a call
[03:26:40] That there was a critically injured young man
[03:26:41] From South Carolina
[03:26:42] Arriving and he thought it might be nice for a
[03:26:44] Marine to hear a familiar accent
[03:26:46] Playing in his bedside table
[03:26:48] Master Sergeant Williams had made
[03:26:50] Sure that he was part of the group
[03:26:52] Assigned to my flights arrival
[03:26:53] And he was ready to move
[03:26:55] The moment he heard my name
[03:26:56] Called as I was unloaded
[03:26:57] And rolled toward the door
[03:26:59] Hello Kyle
[03:27:01] I'm chaplain Williams
[03:27:02] And I'm here to help you
[03:27:04] With anything you need while you're here
[03:27:06] Longstool
[03:27:07] He said gently leaning down
[03:27:08] Next to my face
[03:27:09] Then he spoke a quick prayer for me
[03:27:11] And I was whisked away into the operating room
[03:27:14] The next morning he came into my room
[03:27:16] To talk with me again
[03:27:17] What the chaplain cork calls
[03:27:19] Ministry of Presence
[03:27:21] I wasn't awake and I couldn't ask
[03:27:23] Many questions or seek his council on spiritual matters
[03:27:26] But he thought he would sit with me
[03:27:28] So that I was not alone as I fought for my life
[03:27:31] I'd never heard that term before
[03:27:35] Ministry of Presence
[03:27:36] Neither
[03:27:37] But that's just the image
[03:27:39] Alone of that
[03:27:41] It's amazing
[03:27:42] It's powerful
[03:27:44] And you know
[03:27:47] Again I hate to not do this book justice
[03:27:50] I mean I can already tell you
[03:27:52] I just skip the entire notification process
[03:27:55] For your parents
[03:27:56] Which is a book in its own right
[03:27:58] As a matter of fact I just did a podcast
[03:28:00] On a book called Knock at the door
[03:28:03] The Knock at the door
[03:28:04] Yeah, Ryan Manning
[03:28:05] Yeah
[03:28:06] And
[03:28:07] Amazing family
[03:28:08] I mean that's one of the reasons I said
[03:28:09] You know what
[03:28:10] With Kyle I'm gonna like
[03:28:11] Not go and deple on that part
[03:28:13] But you do a great job of explaining
[03:28:15] What that was like explaining the the
[03:28:17] Unknown
[03:28:18] And the
[03:28:19] And the
[03:28:20] Just the
[03:28:21] Complete sorrow and fear
[03:28:24] And the emotions that they're going through
[03:28:26] I mean it's just
[03:28:28] Again you got to get this book to to get all that
[03:28:32] You talk about the surgeons physicians
[03:28:36] The nurses I mean they are all just doing incredible work
[03:28:39] And you go you go into awesome
[03:28:41] Detail
[03:28:43] You're getting surgeries on your skull
[03:28:45] Your face
[03:28:47] Your jaw
[03:28:48] And this this shocked me
[03:28:50] On Sunday November 28th I was clear to head home
[03:28:53] As it turned out however mine was not a typical flight
[03:28:56] There was an army sniper on board named Ryan Craig
[03:28:58] Who's mother Jennifer Miller was a nurse
[03:29:00] Ryan had taken a bullet to the head in a fire fight
[03:29:02] And his chances of survival had been even lower than mine
[03:29:06] Jennifer had received the dreaded invitation
[03:29:09] From the military to come over to Germany to say goodbye
[03:29:12] To where some of the people were going to
[03:29:13] And they were going to be a
[03:29:16] And they were going to be a
[03:29:16] And they were going to be a
[03:29:16] And they were going to be a
[03:29:18] And they were going to be a
[03:29:20] And they were going to be a
[03:29:22] And they were going to be a
[03:29:24] And they were going to be a
[03:29:26] We were only one person
[03:29:28] And they were going to be a
[03:29:31] But by the time she arrived
[03:29:32] His condition had begun to improve
[03:29:34] And suddenly they look like he was going to survive
[03:29:36] After all like me Ryan was still unconscious
[03:29:38] But he too had been cleared to fly back home
[03:29:40] And she settled in and next
[03:29:41] To him for the trip Jennifer heard me
[03:29:43] Start to make a sound
[03:29:45] My bed was right next to Ryan's
[03:29:48] And as she listened she realized I was saying
[03:29:48] Mom
[03:29:49] She knew immediately what she had to do
[03:29:51] What any mother would do
[03:29:53] right between us and with one hand reached out to her son and with the other
[03:29:57] reached out to me. She held his hand and my hand the entire eight-hour flight.
[03:30:09] Man.
[03:30:13] Yeah, you know you talk a lot in here as well about these like responses that you give to hearing voice.
[03:30:19] I mean, you're not conscious, but you respond. You're vitals peak, you know, so
[03:30:23] like a little thing like that is having real impact. You know, it's like when you read about
[03:30:29] you read about little kids that are abandoned and what what messes them up they figured us out in the
[03:30:35] Russia. I think I read an article about like when they have a bunch of babies that have been abandoned and they're little.
[03:30:39] And they don't have any human contact. They become they have real problems. So just that human touch is a real thing that has impact.
[03:30:48] And here is this story of this mother who's doing everything to help her son and she sees you.
[03:30:55] And it's like she knows instinctively that that human contact can make a difference.
[03:31:04] Again, jumping ahead.
[03:31:07] You're at Bethesda.
[03:31:09] By the end of the first week of Bethesda, I was apparently awake and alert. I would follow people with my eye and
[03:31:14] blink and not in response to questions, but I was not yet talking other than some groans and an
[03:31:19] incoherent mumbling. My first memory is from about a week after that when I opened my eye and saw
[03:31:24] hospital equipment. It was weird because the last thing I could recall clearly was being on that roof rooftop in Afghanistan.
[03:31:30] I was definitely disoriented now, but in my confusion, I just rolled with it.
[03:31:35] Gradually a seated figure next to me came into focus and I managed to croak out the words.
[03:31:41] Hey dad. I'm not going to lie. It was difficult as I slowly became cognizant of the extent of my injuries.
[03:31:50] I think it was difficult for my parents to watch too as I gradually started to realize one thing after
[03:31:55] another. Each time I emerge back into consciousness, I've lost an eye. I've woken up with no teeth.
[03:32:00] I can't feel my face. I can't lift my arm. My arms. But once reality sunk in, I didn't enter any kind of deep morning
[03:32:08] period for my body or my old life, at least not yet. The more cognizant I became of the extent of my injuries,
[03:32:15] the more I'd realized what a miracle it was that I was alive at all.
[03:32:19] Maybe my tendency to compete with myself kicked in right away. Maybe my mom was right.
[03:32:25] And she really was willing me to live. Whatever the case, my focus switched from the injuries that were out of my control.
[03:32:32] To whatever recovery rehab I could do to maximize the facilities I still had. I don't think people believed at first that my positive perspective was genuine.
[03:32:41] I'm pretty sure my family and nurses thought I was in denial. We're not fully lucid.
[03:32:45] But I was driven by three things. The first was the simple fact that I couldn't undo my injuries.
[03:32:52] Second I had a desire to be strong for everyone around me who is clearly struggling with how to learn how to support me.
[03:32:59] I was motivated to not let my injuries and by extension the Taliban have any power over me.
[03:33:05] For the sake of every Marine who had gone before me and those still fighting.
[03:33:14] Yeah, how long did it take that transition from when you were like each time, how long you'd be awake for 15, 20 minutes and go,
[03:33:23] hey, I only have one eye and then you're out for another day and then you wake up and go, I'd like to itch my face, but I can't move my arms.
[03:33:32] The crazy thing is at first, I didn't know that my right ear drum was completely blown.
[03:33:38] I didn't know that I only have one eye left.
[03:33:41] I think because of the disorientation, the medication they give you this medicine called atropine and I forget exactly what it does.
[03:33:52] But one of the side effects is it dilates your pupils really bad.
[03:33:56] And so everything was kind of blurry already and it was just everything was just so strange.
[03:34:04] And again, going way back, not only that, not only was my injuries, the medication, where I was at.
[03:34:12] Those, you know, I faded from consciousness and we're all on a hot dusty rooftop on the other side of the world. Now there's snow building outside at my hospital room window pane.
[03:34:22] I didn't even know there were military hospitals and everyone, you know, you always see your whole life.
[03:34:31] Doctors in white lab coats.
[03:34:35] Now my doctors were in camouflage and just all of those things, it was like, you know, what is going on.
[03:34:45] But yes, I knew I was alive, that was the main thing.
[03:34:50] You know, a lot of times when I woke up in the beginning, it was very short bursts of being awake.
[03:35:00] And those short bursts were either full of pain, full of confusion or full of, I think I would just had so much, not an idea of what was going on.
[03:35:23] Again, I just kind of rolled with it until thankful you know, I started to comprehend more. But, you know, for me to say, hey, dad, that was one of the most profound moments of my recovery for my parents and my family.
[03:35:39] Because they had the mindset we say talk about now that anything physical, missing limbs, missing eyes, we can get through that. We can get better, we can love and heal you.
[03:35:52] But, the brain is a beautiful, but delicate thing. And if you weren't calling more or if you didn't know we were, that would have been an entirely different area of
[03:36:08] how do we cope with this?
[03:36:12] So you got all that going on. And then this happens. I'm lying in bed. My heart races as I try to process how they got me into the hospital.
[03:36:22] I am fixated on what used to be this silver sprinkler heads that are mounted in the ceiling. Now they are bullet holes. They've been shot out by the Taliban who've been taking over the hospital.
[03:36:32] And now now in the room above mine unloading AK47 rounds down into my room. I can't move as my mom stays at my bedside with me. She gets shot in the leg.
[03:36:43] And I've never felt so helpless. The shooting suddenly stopped. Seconds later, the silence is interrupted by the dreaded clinking of a hand grenade bouncing on the hospital room floor.
[03:36:52] And the Taliban dropped it down through one of the holes in the roof and it lands at the foot of my bed. I hear the nurse scream, no! He's been through enough already. She jumps on it.
[03:37:04] I watched the pink mist and body parts that are the only things left of her float around my room.
[03:37:13] And what these are, these are hallucinations that you're having. And they are 100% real to you.
[03:37:21] As real as us sitting here right now.
[03:37:26] Going on my parents told me later that night was the worst of their life. Even worse than getting the call that I'd been injured or seeing my mangled body when I arrived.
[03:37:35] Up to that point, I'd still been Kyle, just physically battered Kyle. They had no idea who this hallucinating person was.
[03:37:42] And I was so far gone to whatever my mind had taken me. They were afraid that they would not be able to get me back.
[03:37:53] I was returning to the ICU early the next morning. And then my dad, Franick, that our family, can't afford the medical bills, loads himself down with weapons and storms and the emergency room to demand that I get the surgeries I need and to reverse the hospitals order to discharge me.
[03:38:09] I try to scream and beg him not to. I want to tell him it's okay and he doesn't have to do this even if I can get even if I can't get any more care.
[03:38:17] As the second set of the ICU sliding doors open, he is met by a swap team who unload on him until I see him fall behind the nurse's station.
[03:38:25] The last thing I remember is the sound of the shotgun my dad was holding as it hits the ground. I think about how much he must have loved me to do something like that.
[03:38:41] And then this I am standing on the top of a small hill looking down and across a field watching a funeral. The sky is so great it seems more light than dark, more dark than light.
[03:38:52] There are no tombstones not even at the gravesite of the person being buried. The only person in attendance is the pastor who is holding the Bible and standing at the head of the grave. I begin to wonder why I'm here standing on this hill by myself.
[03:39:04] As the pastor begins to speak, I realize the horrifying answer to my question. I am watching my own funeral and no one has come.
[03:39:14] The Marines I had called my brothers were so disappointed that I left them behind in Afghanistan that they didn't come to say goodbye.
[03:39:24] I tried to yell out but I can't. I tried to take a step but I can't. I am paralyzed with despair as tears rolled down my face.
[03:39:38] Then you say the hallucinations were intense at no point did it ever occurred to me that the things I was seeing, hearing and feeling like might all be in my head.
[03:39:48] Every detail was so vivid and lifelike to this day they are forever locked in my brain not as memories of hallucinations I had but as memories of real events I experienced.
[03:40:04] How long did that period last?
[03:40:10] I seemed to like months but I think it was only a few hours.
[03:40:14] And that was the reactions to a drug that they were giving you.
[03:40:18] Correct. And you know early on especially during my time around this time that we're talking about and I see you.
[03:40:27] I mean I was in surgery minimum every other day going through 13 hour surgeries to save my arm going through multiple, you know, every time you put someone to sleep as a risk.
[03:40:47] So every other day they might have put me to sleep one time but they would do three or four operations and every other day if not every day.
[03:41:01] When the warriors at Walter Reed myself included had to go to daily every other day what's called washouts and as you know the bacteria and things that we don't quite understand have it researched enough yet.
[03:41:20] In the soil in Afghanistan create infections that can be just as deadly if not more deadly than the actual injury and can kill you weeks later at Walter Reed.
[03:41:35] So I haven't go in for these washouts multiple operations every time I was put down.
[03:41:40] So I think just all of that combined along with already struggling to grasp this new reality that I was waking up to and experiencing.
[03:41:55] But and that last hallucination you read about about watch your mouth funeral is the only thing out of my entire journey that still.
[03:42:10] Chokes me up because it was just a feeling of beyond despair. I couldn't move. I was so frozen with despair and.
[03:42:29] I was just so devastated that not just my buddies but no one no family, nothing.
[03:42:40] Massive rolling hills worth of a field was just a hole in the ground where I was and that religious leader conducting the funeral. But like with so many pieces and parts of my journey.
[03:42:59] I'm thankful that that hallucination occurred because that taught me want to help me realize one of the most powerful lessons and questions that I can continue to carry with myself today and always ask and remind myself and that is.
[03:43:19] And we just are me. This is what I translated from that. But what is my legacy and when I get to those final days which will be followed by my funeral.
[03:43:40] Hopefully, or people come. But you know who will I have there. How many people will I have helped love touched impacted.
[03:43:55] What am I doing every day and and how am I living to create a funeral that has people there has more people than less. And you know, I think it was also scary and I never really thought about this until right now, but I think it was also scary because the other hallucinations.
[03:44:21] I think maybe 1% of my brain.
[03:44:28] You know, at least after the first hallucination continuing to have more. Yes, they seemed completely real. And I felt like I was completely loosened.
[03:44:45] But after going through multiple hallucinations that were just so crazy. I mean, giant spiders attacking a hospital room, the Taliban dropping grenades, my dad, you know, charging the emergency room.
[03:45:01] They were not kind of normal life experiences.
[03:45:08] So when I entered that hallucination of watching my own funeral, then it became mixed with, okay, this actually does relate to what's going on.
[03:45:21] Like that that I finally succumb to the fight and actually, you know, is this really, really happening, you know, because
[03:45:34] last time I remember before this hallucination started, I was struggling to hang on to life.
[03:45:44] So it was kind of like a plausible scenario.
[03:45:50] But yeah, you know, that was a course I know today. It wasn't real. It's not true, but it still, you know, cuts into me to feel like I disappointed those around me and I disappointed them to the extent that they didn't care about me anymore.
[03:46:18] And that they were upset with me for leaving the deployment early. Am I on family didn't come?
[03:46:25] And I don't remember exactly, but I think in that moment and that hallucination I was thinking, well, you know, they didn't come because of the hardships I put on through.
[03:46:34] And so that was extremely tough, but again, has made me from that day on, think about, you know, when that time from my funeral comes, what legacy am I leaving?
[03:46:52] Yeah, and it's interesting that it's framed up what the most important thing to you is everyone else, like who's who have I helped, who have I given enough to that they that they want to come and give a little bit back to me right now.
[03:47:12] You're getting back to your, you're attitude a little bit here, which is just, you know, important for anybody to hear your Nick had woken up because Nick, you know, he suffered bad injury to.
[03:47:28] And you say this, I was thrilled when I learned Nick had woken up for a variety of reasons. I only saw Nick a couple of times in the hospital, but I've made my day when he penned a was up Kyle on his whiteboard when he was doing occupational therapy for writing.
[03:47:40] We were just a few rooms a poor apart, but still, bedridden, so we started sending a whiteboard back and forth with short messages we practiced writing to each other.
[03:47:49] And as you see, it was encouraging to me to see that Nick was on the same journey I was. We were reclaiming our lives and learning how to be our fullest selves, not in spite of our injuries, but because of them.
[03:48:03] Our injuries happened nothing would ever change that our wounds were part of our bodies, but we were the ones who would get to choose what role they would play in our stories.
[03:48:18] Awesome statement, and it's a, what's awesome of to me about that statement is how often do people let things that are much less significant, infinitely less significant than the injuries that you received and the injuries that Nick received.
[03:48:33] And yet they let those things, those little insignificant things dictate their whole life, dictate their reaction, dictate the way they're going to behave. And here you were looking at these catastrophic injuries saying you get to choose what role those injuries play in your life.
[03:48:50] So that's an attitude to think about, for sure.
[03:48:54] Everything is a choice. Everything is, is not only a choice, but everything is shaped by the lens of perspective that you choose to look through.
[03:49:14] I'm trying to kind of conjure up where you found that lens, because there's plenty of people I'm saying that could use to who to want to borrow those glasses from you to have a look through that lens at their world.
[03:49:27] And I think, you know, I always think that there's things that can help people that all they need is awareness, right? Like all they need is to see it.
[03:49:41] So I think even hearing you say, look, how you look at it, hearing you say that. People go, maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. So if you're in a tough spot right now out there in the world.
[03:49:56] This is your not in his tough as a spot as you were in as Nick was in. And how can you adjust your perception a little bit so that you see it in a different light see your situation in a different light?
[03:50:12] Absolutely. And I think it's important to note that struggle, adversity, all of these life obstacles that get in our way that not just down.
[03:50:25] Those things are the last things we should ever compare. But exactly what you're saying to have a frame of reference of, you know, wow.
[03:50:43] I can't get through this. And I, and this is one of the reasons I wrote the book to tell people that you can come back better and stronger might be physically mentally and emotionally different or emotionally different.
[03:51:03] And that is absolutely okay. We all handle adversity differently. We all heal on our own time. But you truly can come back better and stronger than you were before whatever not you down.
[03:51:15] And in good time, you can not only come back better and stronger, but you can do it with a smile on your face.
[03:51:28] Just to kind of point out some of the what we're talking about for a struggle, you, you end up going home for rehab for some of your rehab, which was great.
[03:51:38] But like you, you go into like a full celebration mode after you finally are able to put on a pair of socks for the first time.
[03:51:48] And by the way, it took you like 10 minutes per sock to get the socks on. So, and eight months.
[03:51:54] And eight months of work to get there. So, eight months of failing to put your socks on.
[03:52:02] I don't want my mom brush my teeth. You know, before that getting ready, the few teeth I had left.
[03:52:08] So, yeah, I mean, it still sounds crazy to say it to me. Eight months to be able to put my socks back.
[03:52:16] You know, sometimes people look at a challenging situation, you know, and they say, well, it's going to take me a long time to get this done.
[03:52:23] And whatever that thing that they're going to get done is going to be a pretty giant triumph, whether it's completing a marathon or completing some courses at school.
[03:52:31] And here you are grinding as hard as you can.
[03:52:35] And it takes you eight months and your reward is it only took you 10 minutes per sock, but you were able to put your own socks on.
[03:52:46] You say, I knew I was reclaiming my body and my life one tiny muscle twitch at a time.
[03:52:55] Yeah, that right there again. What is what, you know, if you're listening to this right now and you think you got some challenges, hey, you probably do. We all have challenges.
[03:53:09] But if you can make that little, that little bit of progress, that little tiny bit of progress, and you do it today, you do tomorrow and you do it the next day.
[03:53:17] You will dig yourself out of where you're at.
[03:53:24] You say this and you say this, I get mad because I can't just read this entire book to everyone right now, but that's where they can buy it.
[03:53:32] And actually, you read the audio book too.
[03:53:35] Yeah, so that's really, that's really crazy.
[03:53:37] Yeah, so a lot of times books are read by some random actor and and they say like,
[03:53:46] Here, this part says, I know characters are the unsung heroes, but they read it like this.
[03:53:52] I know caretakers are the unsung heroes. So you didn't do that. You read it yourself, which is awesome.
[03:53:59] And you're in this section, you're just talking about everything that they did for you day in day out tasks of keeping someone comfortable taking them to the bathroom, remembering their pill schedule, accommodating their diet, helping them to get dressed,
[03:54:12] keeping them company, cheering them up, celebrating the good days, walking them through their bad days.
[03:54:16] I can't imagine how exhausting it must be to find yourself in a full time around the clock job of taking care of someone else.
[03:54:22] And yet this was the role that various people took on for me. It was this strength and support when I still when I was at my worst and most broken physically that enabled me to begin to rebuild a normal life.
[03:54:35] So again, shout out to the caretakers that people that got you through this just incredible people.
[03:54:50] Continuing on here, I wasn't just physically exhausted. I was emotionally drained from the moment I regained consciousness back in December. I'd been putting a strong face on for my family. I thought if I could reassure them. I was okay.
[03:55:02] Be easier for them to deal with what happened to me. I am a marine, which means the instinct to protect others is second nature nature. And that instinct was working over time now.
[03:55:16] It was more than the endless, hospital trips and surgeries and skin grafts and adaptive exercises. It was getting used to the constant pain and the feeling of the shrapnel still trapped in my body.
[03:55:28] From when I could see with my remaining eye, the world looked much the same. My mom and dad looked exactly like they looked before I'd shipped out. My brothers were taller, but otherwise the same boys I'd known.
[03:55:38] But I knew what they saw, what they saw was forever changed. Every time they looked at me, they couldn't help but see my wounds. I had been the one to enlist, but now my family was serving alongside me.
[03:55:57] It's so easy to breeze through the A, what your family is going through. B, what you're going through.
[03:56:08] When I get an injury, I'm the scariest, pathetic person I'm so embarrassing. I get frustrated if I get caught on my finger and I can't train you to it.
[03:56:23] And when you think about this level of injuries that you suffered, it's just, it's hard to comprehend.
[03:56:33] And something you said earlier, there was a guy on here a few weeks ago named Jim Serlesley and he was a used Vietnam.
[03:56:46] Awesome guy went to Vietnam, he was on his 11th month of his torn Vietnam and he was checking the perimeter of where his element was set up and he stepped on a mind and it took off both of his legs and one of his arms.
[03:57:03] And they took like high above way above the knee, more like at the hip. But one thing that he said that I was thinking about it wasn't on the podcast, but we were talking about it later is like the 100%
[03:57:22] Like this is this is what happened. This is like the 100% acceptance he said made a big difference in his life because he was with a lot of vets.
[03:57:33] He talked about some of those other vets with me that he was with that never accepted what had happened to them. And no, it reminds me two things. It's like number one, you say, hey, I accepted that I couldn't change what had happened.
[03:57:46] But also because he told me he said, you know, some of the guys that knew they only accepted it 95% and reminds me what you said when you're talking about those hallucinations and some of those weren't as bad because you even though you were 99% sure that little 1% was enough to make a difference in your brain.
[03:58:07] And I think that's what happens with our life. Like we have to accept, okay, these things happen in the past and there's not anything you can do to change what's happened in the past. It is impossible.
[03:58:20] It's the most obvious piece of the whole puzzle. It is the past. We know we can change it. We know we can't alter it, fix it, go back. But it is one of the most detrimental aspects potentially of a recovery of a struggle.
[03:58:44] The what is that daunting question that most of the time will never be answered. And the main thing, a lot of the times that people get hung up on.
[03:58:56] But the most obvious and so I'm thankful that I did, we the past and the past and I left it 100% behind me.
[03:59:10] But in order to realize that I had to hit rock bottom, arguably the lowest point in my life by far the lowest point of my recovery.
[03:59:28] As you already said, I had gone home to recover roughly six or seven months. I had been injured November 2010. I was in my first three kind of initial life saving months of my recovery until the last week of February 2011.
[03:59:49] At the time, there was such an influx of casualties, not only from my rack, but now from the push and Afghanistan. I remember just stopping in my tracks at Walter Reed.
[04:00:05] I went up on to the recovery floor and I think I was going to visit some guys because this was after I had already got back on my feet become stable.
[04:00:19] But I remember stopping in my tracks at the site of hospital beds being put in the hallway because Walter Reed had run out of space in rooms.
[04:00:30] The recovery room was doubled up on patients. Initially after I got injured, I was the only one on the whole floor because of how delicate my condition was that did not have a roommate.
[04:00:43] Because I needed two corpsmen or army medics in there every second of the day on what's called a one to one to just sit there for hours and hours day after day watching me watching my machines so that if I crash, if I flatlined, you know, am I only save five to ten seconds, but someone not only being there, but they could immediately contact doctors and people that could help.
[04:01:12] People that could help bring me back.
[04:01:15] So what that said, we had already been told and I had already unfortunately heard the extremely heavy news that minimum, I was going to have to spend two years at Walter Reed.
[04:01:33] If everything went textbook, if all 40 of my surgeries and maybe at this point it was like 20 25 left me and my mom lost count, but you know, three years and 40 surgeries, that's obviously a long time a commitment.
[04:01:49] So, and with the months that I've been there, the chain of command, the Marine Corps, they met my family, they knew them, knew they were, they have my best interest, which unfortunately is not the case all the time with wounded warriors coming back.
[04:02:07] And so knowing that they were going to take care of me, they have my best interest, if we agreed, if they let me go home, lay on my own couch with the dog eat moms, amazing home cooked food.
[04:02:23] I could go do that with the agreement that they would just continue to extend my leave month by month. Every day I would go to the local hospital slash clinic in Lexington, South Carolina, get that daily therapy and every two weeks from
[04:02:42] March 1st until September when I moved up to Walter Reed every two weeks my mom drove me from South Carolina to DC to get a surgery.
[04:02:55] So, if all those agreements were good, I could go home and recover.
[04:03:00] So, and when I'm getting to is, I'm at home recovering and it's March maybe early April, spring of 2011 right after the hospital.
[04:03:14] And it was around 10 o'clock at night, I was winding down for the day and I mean after a whole day of therapy with the injuries I still had and how early on I was in my recovery, my as well have been three in the morning. So I was already tired, maybe a little frustrated.
[04:03:32] And my mom was in the next room over the living room and there's a couple of reasons which I'll get to. There's a couple of reasons why this story goes so deep and dark so quickly.
[04:03:55] And the first is, and I didn't realize this till recently, but it was the first time standing there sitting there in my kitchen that really for the first time since I joined the Marine Corps.
[04:04:17] And especially from the first time that I got injured and woke up in the hospital, it was just me.
[04:04:27] Not a team of six people standing around telling me, hey, it's okay to go to the bathroom in front of us in this bedpan.
[04:04:34] I was out of team of people holding all the tubes coming out of me. I wasn't struggling to breathe through the tube, the track and my neck. And it was just me, my own thoughts in my own head with the ringing in my ears.
[04:04:55] In that moment by myself, in the quiet and leading up to this moment, I've been taking on the monumental challenge of trying to make a bowl of cereal for myself.
[04:05:08] And at this point, I hadn't had the nerve graft repair surgeries to fix my wrist from hanging. My weight was extremely low for what it, you know, my age and circumstances aside.
[04:05:30] My weight was extremely low, I was extremely weak. You know, the milk, my as well weight a hundred pounds. You know, I struggled to open the box of cereal and it was almost impossible to even hold the spoon.
[04:05:48] I complete the mission of making my bowl of cereal, and I'm sitting at the kitchen counter, and that was only half the battle. Now I had to try to eat it.
[04:06:04] My nerves had been severed in my face. I still can't feel a portion of my face and my chin. I didn't have teeth which not only give, you know, really realize, but they give your mouth so much structure and your lips structure.
[04:06:22] It gives you the ability to close your mouth to not have milk going everywhere, and not only was it going everywhere, I couldn't even feel it all over my face. And this bowl of cereal was just, dude, it was defeating me.
[04:06:38] And in that moment, I completely broke, and we've already hit on it, but I know for two reasons that I broke in this moment because it was the first time I'd been by myself with only my own thoughts.
[04:06:56] And also, until this point, I had been strong every day because I knew, you know, the hardest part of my entire journey was my parents suffering through that burden of recovery with me.
[04:07:10] And I think now I'm knowing and going what I've been through, being on the other side of that hospital bed is a loved one. A lot of times, a helpless loved one.
[04:07:21] It's exponentially harder than laying in that bed. So trying to put a smile on every day, trying not to tear up when that's all I really could do after 13 hour arm surgery, where they have been hammering metal rods through my bones.
[04:07:36] And it was pain like I'd never felt all the way to the deep center core of my bones telling them, I'm not in pain, it's okay, I'm good, smiling, being strong.
[04:07:52] But in that moment by myself, no one around me, almost a movie type setting, the lights were a little dim, and yeah, I completely broke. My mom rushed in and like any wonderful mother, she puts arms around me and asks if I'm in pain, what's going on.
[04:08:14] And through the the the sob's I could only choke out one thing and that was, look at me, he's ever going to love me again.
[04:08:26] And that's that's tough, even still now to talk about that today, but like I said, already multiple times, sometimes the deepest, darkest, lowest moments in life,
[04:08:42] if teach us the most beautiful lessons.
[04:08:48] And in that moment, and I'm thankful that I had this insight and I realized that, and talking about the past, that the past is truly the past.
[04:09:04] And that moment, I realized that with any situation, with any obstacle or event that really knocks you down in life, every opportunity, every intersection, good or bad, you cut out the noise.
[04:09:32] And this is going to be a tough pill of swallow for some people listening and it was for me, but it must be done. And that is that you cut out the noise, and you only ever have two options.
[04:09:51] You can either stand up and take that small step forward. You don't have to know where you're going, you know how that, the perfect plan, you don't have to know it tomorrow holds.
[04:10:07] But you can either get up and take that small step or you're going to sit at that kitchen counter for the rest of your life. And now years later, and one of my favorite lines in the book, I'm thankful that I push through those hard times and I realized, and I truly believe in now that the smallest of steps eventually completes the grandest of journeys.
[04:10:36] And that is one of the parts of my mission that I'm trying to get out there and tell people and educate people about.
[04:10:43] And this is by no means ending it. I already, I'm still excited and looking forward to keep going, but with that said, I appreciate you having me in this time and helping me with your platform, with that mission of helping people through that struggle and telling people,
[04:11:05] and telling people that, one small step at a time, you work hard, try to stay positive, try to be a good person, do the right thing, and you know, it will not only bring you out of that, but take you to great places.
[04:11:26] Yeah, I don't have anything to add to that. I mean, that's such a poignant thing to perspective to have. And it's, you know, I often talk about the fact that the first step is the hardest one.
[04:11:48] And what I like about what you bring to that statement is like it doesn't matter how big that step is or more important, how small that step is.
[04:12:03] You got to do something, you got to move in the right direction.
[04:12:13] And you detail that, just a whole chapter in here where you, where you go through that and people got to pick this up to really reinforce those ideas.
[04:12:27] So that we can push through it.
[04:12:30] Here's, here's one of the things you say, kind of bringing this home at some point, everyone will face a rock bottom moment when the past looms too large to overcome and a hopeful future seems to far out to imagine.
[04:12:42] I mean, just think about that right there. There's times that you're going to face where the past is too much.
[04:12:48] And, and the future seems too far away too far out there. You go on. It's difficult to prepare yourself for that moment because it's impossible to know what will trigger it.
[04:12:57] It may be a major setback that knocks you to the ground or could be something so seemingly minor and innocuous like trying to eat a ball of cereal, which is what you went through.
[04:13:07] The point is you can't really do much ahead of time to prevent that moment from happening. You might not even be able to brace yourself for the impact.
[04:13:14] All you can do is commit yourself to surviving for another day and recognizing that you can't change what is behind you, only what lies ahead.
[04:13:23] You may even wonder if it's possible to move on and it might not be without professional guidance to help you process everything that your past represents.
[04:13:32] It's not a process that can be rushed. You have to be honest with yourself as to whether or not it's time to let go of the past. Past.
[04:13:40] Maybe the answer is not yet. And that's okay, but at some point you have to be willing to say, from this day forward, I am choosing to live.
[04:13:48] Too often we fall into the trap of thinking we need to have everything figured out before we act. You don't have to have a roadmap before you set out.
[04:13:57] You don't even have to know what direction you're traveling. You just have to be willing to move and leave the past behind.
[04:14:04] So this is just powerful stuff. You go through and you talk about you know you went jumping with Jay Redmond, who's been on the podcast and you know a seal that was wounded very badly.
[04:14:26] You did a bunch of mud runs with the Marine Corps like you're doing stuff you're pushing.
[04:14:31] And this is kind of, you know, this is what you say about that, about those things. Every obstacle I took on had a whole new significance.
[04:14:38] And every time I conquered one, I took on new significance too. I gained significance as someone who fought to live and was succeeding.
[04:14:45] I gained significance as a combat survivor who is doing more than just surviving.
[04:14:49] I gained significance as someone who attacked physical and occupational therapy with every fiber of my being and was now proving what my restored body could do.
[04:14:59] I gained significance as someone who refused to let fear make his choices form.
[04:15:03] I gained significance as someone who reclaimed his life unapologetically.
[04:15:08] And even if that significance was only apparent to me and no one else had changed who I was in my own eyes and in my own mind.
[04:15:17] My injuries will not define my life. I will.
[04:15:22] And the greatest power I have that any of us has is the power to make that choice.
[04:15:30] So once again, it is about taking control over what choices you make, deciding to move forward.
[04:15:41] Yeah, and again, it's one thing when somebody says that stuff that, you know, their big challenge was who knows what big challenge they had.
[04:15:52] But to hear it coming from you, who's literally been dead and and come back and suffered through the the recovery process, you know, it's just.
[04:16:08] If you can say that, we can all say that.
[04:16:13] And just add on to that and thanks for pointing that out, but that's exactly why.
[04:16:23] Along with having to realize how I wanted to approach and write it, that's why this book was written now nine years later.
[04:16:33] Because I didn't want to write a book not only that only military service members veterans or people that had been to combat could understand.
[04:16:44] I wanted a book that.
[04:16:51] I lived, I lived learn and and proved and completed the lessons that I am teaching.
[04:17:03] The worst is when you get whether a book or some motivator out there telling you, you know, a whole spreadsheet of things you need to do.
[04:17:16] And they have had done it themselves. And so the last thing I wouldn't have wrote it if I wouldn't have done these things, but I'm not going to tell people.
[04:17:29] After you get knocked down, you can go to college earn your degree without doing that.
[04:17:35] And I'm going to tell people, oh, you work hard, you know, one foot from the other and eventually one day you can run a marathon.
[04:17:43] Without crossing the finish line or that marathon without jumping out of the plane back, hacking across Europe.
[04:17:50] So thank you for recognizing that and I just wanted to add that, you know, people ask me like, oh, you could have wrote a book right after this happened.
[04:18:01] I mean, your story was there. After the metal, you know, pretty much would have been the same book in a way yes, but not really because I.
[04:18:12] I wanted to.
[04:18:18] I wanted to have substance behind the things, the lessons, the challenges and victories that I talk about in this book.
[04:18:32] You know, you kind of got a tone in your voice when you said some motivator out there like, and I have, I've pretty consistently talked smack about the term motivation.
[04:18:45] As a matter of fact, I made a little video the other day where I was making fun of motivation Monday, right?
[04:18:52] And and as I was reading your book, I got to this chapter, it's called Stay Motivated and I was like, oh, done reading.
[04:19:00] And, you know, my mind is always open and I'm always looking to learn. So I was like, okay, let's see what Kyle has to say about it.
[04:19:09] You said, you know, Stay Motivated, you had in quotes. Any marine reading this is rolling their eyes right now. I was like, okay, so he knows what I'm not.
[04:19:16] Those two words stay motivated or pretty well worn within the core.
[04:19:20] Leadership loves to say them when you're information on a grueling run or anytime there's a large lag in the conversation.
[04:19:25] In fact, it seems like when you are cold and wet and hungry and dirty and missing home, that's when you say it the most stay motivated.
[04:19:32] The line is become a bit of a joke in the Marines that Marines will toss around sarcastically in really miserable situations when it seems like everyone hates their life.
[04:19:41] But still there's some wisdom in the phrase. So I, I checked it out.
[04:19:46] And that that allowed you to keep going.
[04:19:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, my mind is open and my mind is open and there's something that I realized I did a little research and the the root word of motivation, which we know motivation is like it comes across as an emotion or feeling that's what I like about it because we can't rely on it, right?
[04:20:10] But the root word of it is Latin,
[04:20:14] modus and it means move.
[04:20:19] That's what it means move. And so you spell out all these things. You might be angry, tired, broken, hurt, confused.
[04:20:28] What can you possibly do in a situation like that? Stay motivated, which ties back to what you already said.
[04:20:35] You get up and you move. That's what you need to do.
[04:20:38] No matter who you are or where you are in life, there are simply things that are going to be terrible.
[04:20:44] But you just have to lower your head, put one foot in front of the other and walk straight into that storm.
[04:20:50] Stay motivated. That's what we're talking about. We're talking about moving.
[04:20:54] We're talking about taking action.
[04:20:56] And when I turn that word motivation, which is like a feeling into action, then I get it.
[04:21:04] Yeah, that this chunk of the book where you talk about what you went through is.
[04:21:14] And you're attitude towards it. And sometimes you have to dig a little deeper.
[04:21:19] You got this part here. There was a local afghan boy about 12 who loved the Marines who would always salute us when we had walk out of our patrol base on foot.
[04:21:27] He and his eight-year-old brother even made a game of trying to snatch our water bottles.
[04:21:31] And goodies from the dump pouches on the back of our sappy plates, which were designed to carry empty magazines from firefights, but double does a snack, candy and water bio bottle carrier.
[04:21:41] The two boys got to be friends with us and through the months of talking and playing with us would sometimes tell us where well hidden IEDs were buried.
[04:21:50] Our EOD guys made a good show of trying to make it appear that their discoveries were accidental before the explosives were diffused, but in Taliban, Taliban strongholds.
[04:22:00] Eyes are always watching.
[04:22:02] One night about two weeks after I was evacuated, a grenade was thrown over the wall of our compound and detonated at exactly the spot where my now empty bunk sat.
[04:22:11] No one was injured, but obviously shook everyone up a bit. A few nights later, that same boy who used to salute us showed up at camp in the middle of the night to tell us he threw that grenade.
[04:22:23] He was sobbing and begging the Marines to forgive him and not to kill him. The Taliban had caught on that he was friendly with us and that fewer IEDs were being detonated.
[04:22:33] They suspected he was the cause so they beat him senseless, but they didn't kill him.
[04:22:38] Instead for his final punishment, they dragged him to the wall of our compound to place the grenade in his hand and pulled the pin.
[04:22:45] A 12-year-old child was forced to kill or be killed. That was just one story of countless others we heard stories of violence, rituals, stoning of women pushing people off buildings for being gay and children forced to become weapons of war.
[04:23:03] How is one not affected witnessing that degree of evil? You remind yourself why you're over there in the first place to stop the Taliban and their torture and oppression of their own people.
[04:23:13] You remind yourself that if you were able to weaken their stronghold or just give hope to those innocent people, even the smallest of ways so that one day they might taste the freedom of safety, then you made a difference.
[04:23:26] That helps you stay focused. That helps you stay motivated.
[04:23:32] That's a... I would love to say that that's a rare story, but that's what the enemy is like.
[04:23:41] Yeah. That's what they do.
[04:23:48] So, you know, you just mentioned that you put down your backpack, put down your rucksack and picked up a backpack, you ended up going to college, kind of fulfilling that promise to your parents.
[04:24:06] And... On the afternoon of December 18, 2017, I was sitting in a folding chair on the floor of Colonial Life Arena, just adjusting my task, will make sure it was positioned correctly on my cap.
[04:24:22] I was about to receive my diploma making good on the promise I'd made to my parents eight years earlier that one day I'd go back to school and earn my degree.
[04:24:31] The graduation speaker introduced me to the crowd in an ounce, joining Kyle's family this afternoon on members of his medical evacuation team and two of his doctors from Walter Reed, National Military Medical Center, our thanks to you Kyle.
[04:24:46] Would you please stand and receive our recognition? I stood and suddenly sewed the entire arena. My fellow students were cheering. The crowd was cheering. My family was cheering.
[04:24:56] And I realized that I had really done it. We had really done it. My family, my peers and all the people had been with who kept me alive along the way, both literally and figuratively.
[04:25:10] So, you graduated from college. And while you were doing that, you were also running marathons, right? You have that timeline correct?
[04:25:20] The first one was 2013. All three were Marine Corps Marathon for the Simper Fife Fund in Washington, D.C.
[04:25:29] And the first one I completed was October after I got out of the hospital in July.
[04:25:39] And then the next two were the few years following that. The second one actually, which I don't recommend because I didn't think about circling and cruising around in the clouds over the Pentagon before I skydived out into the starting line.
[04:25:56] It was a solid 20 minutes worth of invisible air squads, ramp up in that plane, waiting for the sun to break over the horizon.
[04:26:06] And so I landed and if I hadn't put my sweet mother through enough already, of course it was not the greatest weather and it was windy that day.
[04:26:19] So, I'm not only skydiving in front of her, putting her through that, but the wind, because I jumped with team fast tracks, all some team, most of which are our former operators and special forces.
[04:26:34] And myself and my jump partner got blown off course. Ironically crash landing, I'm talking, sliding in between headstones and our LinkedIn cemetery.
[04:26:49] I thought, oh man, I hope this isn't about to express me into being on one of these spots right now.
[04:26:57] This is so completely crazy. They were running marifons, parachuting. This is just ridiculous. I might, I might like have a talk with your mom. We might need to take you out.
[04:27:08] I believe I think I've actually understood.
[04:27:10] I'm not a father yet.
[04:27:12] So, I crashed into Arlington. I'm sprinting to the starting line, undressing at him, at him a gear, doing an interview right as a cannon goes off.
[04:27:22] I made that one. But these marifons came up very early on when I was in the hospital.
[04:27:32] When I said earlier, you might be a little different, physically mentally or emotionally, but you can truly come back better and stronger than you were before, whatever not you'd down.
[04:27:45] And that lesson comes from early on when I was breathing through that tube.
[04:27:54] When I had my arms tied up from swelling, when I had to go to the bathroom in a bed pan in front of my parents and six to eight medical staff in the hospital.
[04:28:08] And that low, not down, seemingly hopeless state.
[04:28:17] I decided to think of something that I could do, whether it was a year from then or just at some point in my life.
[04:28:33] I tried to think of something I could do to show and prove to myself that I was not only back, but again I was better and stronger than before.
[04:28:49] And I thought at the time, I mean, I can't say I was 100% confident. I was going to accomplish this goal.
[04:28:58] But I set the goal to run a marathon. And years later, I was 2011, first marathon. So over two years later, when I crossed the finish line of that first marathon,
[04:29:14] I think what I had sunglasses on, I was tearing up because, you know, for years I had been telling myself,
[04:29:29] I'm going to keep thought to myself, coaching myself. And I think doing it so much, unknowingly just trying to convince myself that, hey, I really can get better, come back stronger.
[04:29:45] I knew I could and I did believe those things, but again, sometimes that goal or the future is so far away and you have to go through so much to get to it.
[04:30:00] But that's not that I didn't believe myself, but it's kind of like until it happened, I couldn't fully buy into it. Just weird because it was my own just internal talking advice.
[04:30:13] But when I crossed the finish line of that marathon, it was such an incredible, amazing beautiful moment because not only was I just like I do every day in life, any new experience I have, any experience I have,
[04:30:29] I have period, just sitting before we drove here this morning, sitting and watching the sun come up. Anything I do, I literally can't help but to think, wow, I was so close to not experiencing this right now, bigger small.
[04:30:49] So when I crossed the line of that marathon, that finish line and they drape that that metal around my neck, in that moment, I proved to myself what I have been hurting and working,
[04:31:16] striving, getting knocked down every single day for, and after years, in that moment, I not only realized but I fully believe it solidify permanently for every in my mind, what I have been teaching myself, day in, day out and through those long, dark and painful nights.
[04:31:42] That's an incredible journey and I cannot believe that the journey only lasted two years to get to you for your first Marine Corps marathon from the time you got wounded.
[04:31:55] Yeah, which I don't recommend whatsoever.
[04:32:00] You got all this stuff going on, you got your recovery going on, you got your going to college, your run in marathons, your skydiving, your skydiving in the marathon.
[04:32:11] And at some point, you start hearing the, and you talk about it in the book when you first start getting some indication that their, their, the metal of honor could be in your future.
[04:32:29] And again, you, you, you talk about it in the book, you kind of build to it the little indicators along the way, and then you get to this here on an unassuming day in February.
[04:32:42] I was notified that I should expect to call from President Obama the following Monday at 136 p.m.
[04:32:49] This seemed weirdly specific until I remember that the leader of the free world has more than a few demands on his time and probably runs a pretty tight schedule.
[04:32:58] I told my parents, of course, but they didn't say a word of it to my brothers.
[04:33:02] I think we thought it would be more fun for them to be caught off guard.
[04:33:08] And we were going to go on, but call came through at 136 on the dot. Remember being surprised that an actual number appeared on my phone screen rather than an unknown caller message.
[04:33:20] But it must have been the number for the central switchboard at the White House. I answered the phone and a stern sounding woman on the other end announced.
[04:33:29] Stand by. Have the president United States on the phone for you.
[04:33:33] That was all I could get out after such a profound statement. A moment later, a voice familiar to me came on.
[04:33:41] Kyle said the president in a surprisingly conversational friendly and upbeat tone.
[04:33:46] It immediately set me at ease. Or as much as the eddies you can be at when you're talking to the commander and chief.
[04:33:52] Yes, sir. How you doing? I'm fine, sir. How are you?
[04:33:57] Am I really making small talk with the president? I thought to myself.
[04:34:02] I'm doing just fine. Thanks. He answered. Then he continued. It is my pleasure to let you know that based on the recommendation of the secretary, the navy and the secretary, the defense of defense.
[04:34:12] I've approved the Medal of Honor to be awarded to you for your courageous actions in Afghanistan and support of operation during freedom.
[04:34:24] There it was. It was happening.
[04:34:30] That's got to be a hard thing to kind of contemplate.
[04:34:40] That you are joining this, you know, Legion of our most profound heroes.
[04:34:49] And how will do you at this point in time?
[04:34:52] 25, 25. Self-worn college. I had left class to drive home, received the call after entering my home and getting yelled at by my mother.
[04:35:08] Because my first question was, does anyone have a phone charger? I'm on 7%.
[04:35:15] So I was not prepared for the mission you could say. And I also got yelled at even though it was a call on speaker phone.
[04:35:24] With no video that my shoes that I was wearing were nasty.
[04:35:29] And so after getting reprimanded, I received that incredible and surreal phone call.
[04:35:39] And at this point, for years we had heard not really any updates, but it also hadn't ended.
[04:35:50] So one can only assume, especially with the months before this, since the previous November of 2013, the year before I received the Medal,
[04:36:01] at the Combinance Marine Corps birthday ball, my mom and I sat down for a casual meeting with a Marine by the name of Kendra Motts.
[04:36:15] She worked public relations, such public affairs for the Marine Corps.
[04:36:20] And she wanted to sit down with us and say, hey, we have no idea where this thing is.
[04:36:28] Where it's going to go if it's even going to happen. But looking ahead at your next semester's school, you know, I recovered.
[04:36:37] I left the hospital. I've been out of the hospital for, you know, I guess now that I'm thinking about only a few months, but by the time the the the Medal rolled around.
[04:36:50] I had already had to not only recover, but get on with my life, make that transition. So as a sophomore college, they knew that that was my new mission.
[04:36:59] That it was my priority and I wanted to do good at it and give it my best.
[04:37:04] And it was kind of, you know, them looking out for me and all of this was so weird as we went along because all of these, you know, I had to
[04:37:17] do all of this preparatory work for something that not even the highest Marines knew where it was at.
[04:37:27] And they wouldn't tell me, of course, even if they did, but I believe they truly did not know.
[04:37:35] And so with that said, as the first couple months, it was just like, hey, this could potentially happen.
[04:37:46] Even though we don't know if it's going to happen, we need to adequately prepare you.
[04:37:55] So what that said, it was kind of like, hey, if you want to do good at school, we suggest, unfortunately, that you need to withdraw from this semester.
[04:38:05] But once I got word that I was going to be receiving that call, it was beginning of February.
[04:38:13] So I was still just a few weeks into the semester. And I was thinking, hey, I'm going to stick this out and wait for this in saying call if it actually is going to come to happen.
[04:38:26] Before I withdraw and lose a semester of time, energy effort and class credits.
[04:38:32] And so yeah, I left class. I took the call. I drove back for some reason to make the next class and finish out the day strong before I withdrew from my classes.
[04:38:44] And it was so strange still to this day sitting through that history class and thinking, okay, well, it's kind of crazy.
[04:38:51] I was just talking to the president of the United States and now I'm in my sophomore college history class.
[04:38:58] And so, but after that, yeah, I got the call. We knew it was going to happen. We still couldn't tell anyone.
[04:39:04] So I was at the Pentagon every other week, all week going through chaos, training, everything from sitting in a room for hours getting drill by two who were awesome and really did good to get me prepared.
[04:39:20] But almost an interrogation set up and really moved every question that could be detrimental to me or learning how to.
[04:39:30] If I don't want to answer a question directly, navigating that reporter, that interview and the direction that I wanted to take it.
[04:39:37] But all my friends, I couldn't tell anyone saw my friends thought I was still in class. So, like, oh, how are finals going? Oh, yeah, well, they're good.
[04:39:45] Not knowing I was just a freaking Pentagon all week and then hanging out with them on the weekends, going to football and basketball games.
[04:39:53] But yeah, it was incredibly surreal to receive that phone call.
[04:40:00] But even when I received that phone call, it made it no more real.
[04:40:06] I think just one of those things in life that like combat, like the unknown of the life of service holds, I think you can, you can only comprehend and process to a certain extent until those actual moments happen and you're exposed to it.
[04:40:24] But yeah, if that's for a few months after my imaginary semester that I was suffering through.
[04:40:33] I did receive the Melavonner as along with Dakota, the second living recipient, Marina Scipient, since Vietnam, and still currently thankfully that.
[04:40:54] I'm still the youngest living recipient of that incredible and homelowing honor and award.
[04:41:05] You, I mean, you do a great job of in the book of talking about, you know, the ceremony and doing the interviews and the pressure and the White House and all those things going on.
[04:41:17] But, and it's definitely worth reading to get some appreciation.
[04:41:24] If you don't understand what this award means, that will begin to give you some appreciation of what it means for the person that's receiving it.
[04:41:33] I mean, just what you are, what is happening to you?
[04:41:37] You do a great job of explaining that in the book.
[04:41:42] But I really like this section here, which also kind of explains what the Medal of Honor means.
[04:41:52] It says, the thing I want people to understand is that the Medal of Honor is a heavy distinction.
[04:41:57] It only weighs a couple of ounces, but the physical weight is nothing compared to the weight of what it represents.
[04:42:02] Everything that the Medal symbolizes, not just the circumstances under which it was earned, but the broader conflict of which that action was part.
[04:42:11] And all of the losses that are a result of that conflict adds weight.
[04:42:17] One of my friends from deployment told me that when he saw the president plays the Medal around my neck, he cried,
[04:42:24] because our unit, our story and the guys we lost will never die after that.
[04:42:31] For my fellow Marines, he said the Medal was a part of everyone's deployment.
[04:42:39] And you go on and hear talking a little bit more about awards, and you say, the ribbon rack never tells the full story of a person's service.
[04:42:50] But having served alongside someone who is awarded the Medal of Honor somehow helps to capture in a bigger sense what we all went through.
[04:42:58] Even beyond our current operations, when you start trying to add up each casualty, each death, each injury, the mental scars.
[04:43:07] And every person listed as MIA over nearly 250 years of military conflicts, it's overwhelming.
[04:43:15] I marvel to at the tremendous acts of bravery and heroism.
[04:43:20] From the Civil War, Spanish American War, World War I, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Somalia, O-E-F-O-I-F,
[04:43:28] even to the special forces in intelligence communities who operate without recognition in places we will never know.
[04:43:35] That never got told. Maybe those stories weren't told because there was no one around to witness them.
[04:43:41] Maybe they weren't told because no one survived to tell them.
[04:43:45] Maybe they were told, but some external factors stood in the way of someone getting the honor they deserved.
[04:43:51] That is why I often say the Medal doesn't belong to me, not really.
[04:43:57] My story just happened to be noticed.
[04:44:00] Thinking that the Medal of Honor, thinking of the Medal of Honor as an individual award,
[04:44:07] couldn't be any further from the truth.
[04:44:18] Yeah, I mean, hard to sum up in words, but that's a pretty good shot at it, to explain what it means.
[04:44:29] And certainly for me, having served with Mikey Montsour, everything you're talking about that,
[04:44:34] the yearmarines felt, you know, I know that myself and the rest of the guys in task in a bruiser,
[04:44:40] we all feel that pride.
[04:44:44] We all understand that sacrifice.
[04:44:47] And it's not just limited to guys in task in a bruiser.
[04:44:50] Everyone that was in a body with us, they all feel the same way.
[04:45:00] You know, you end up, I guess you're, I guess you know, when you were, you said you were a kid with a lot of energy,
[04:45:08] well, that hasn't really been stifled out despite grenades and whatnot.
[04:45:14] Because you end up going on something that you call a gratitude tour, and you go around the country,
[04:45:20] and you actually go around the world, because you go to Afghanistan, you go to Germany, you go and you meet people,
[04:45:24] and you thank people, the medical people, the Medivac crews, the rehab folks, everyone that, that kind of played a role in your survival and your rehab and your recovery.
[04:45:39] And you basically go around, and you say thank you.
[04:45:45] And you say something here, there is a power in moving from someone who only receives to someone who's able to give to.
[04:45:56] For me, it marked a major shift in my view of myself and of my view of the world.
[04:46:00] Even though my healing journey will never really be over, the opportunities I've had to thank people have helped me move beyond the chapter of my life,
[04:46:08] dedicated to recovery. Now I can look ahead to whatever comes next, making something out of this life that so many people work to save.
[04:46:17] The healing power of saying thank you is immense.
[04:46:21] I believe this with every ounce of my being.
[04:46:26] I can't imagine anything more beautiful in this world than gratitude, feeling it, expressing it, receiving it.
[04:46:32] Gratitude is at the heart of every thank you for your service that someone offers to a veteran.
[04:46:39] I understand the feeling of not knowing what to say, but wanting to say something because the gift that was given is too significant to go unignolaged.
[04:46:49] I appreciate the gratitude that is shared with me, but I hope people know that I owe so much more thanks than I will ever be able to express.
[04:47:02] Gratitude, I've come to learn, is one of the most important parts of becoming a whole person and building a life of significance.
[04:47:09] Gratitude requires wisdom to recognize the roles of others. It requires humility to admit that you couldn't have done it alone.
[04:47:18] It requires strength to be able to give part of yourself, back to someone and know there is still enough of you left to thrive.
[04:47:25] And it requires inner peace to be able to say what you did for me helped to create a life.
[04:47:33] I'm glad to call mine.
[04:47:40] And before we end here today, even though the uncreected proof which we just went through in the final copy are same content essentially the same.
[04:48:01] The uncreected proof does not have the introduction or my parting thoughts.
[04:48:09] And the parting thoughts is one of the most important, important lessons I would like to convey here today.
[04:48:24] And the end of the parting thoughts are I guess really clicked as we as a whole.
[04:48:40] I wrote them to help people not this count their own.
[04:48:53] And I wrote them to help people who are not in the same situation or struggle.
[04:49:00] Because going through the years and all the while going through school and before the middle after the hospital and even during the hospital.
[04:49:11] I had slowly started, even though I didn't really know what I was doing.
[04:49:16] I had slowly started to work towards building not only the professional side of my life, but the public speaking side of my life.
[04:49:22] And going through the events over the years, people would always come up to me and say, if they weren't in the military, they would say, well, you know, I was never in the military.
[04:49:37] I never did or went through anything like you.
[04:49:41] If they are service members or veterans, they come up and essentially say the same thing, but it's hey, I wasn't infantry or...
[04:49:51] I didn't do anything like you did or I wouldn't have jumped on a grenade.
[04:49:57] As you can see from one of the first chapters of the book, if you would have asked me, hey, in 10 minutes will you jump on a grenade?
[04:50:09] I couldn't, and I don't believe anyone could confidently say yes.
[04:50:16] And with these parting thoughts I wanted to not only lay that out and say that we should never compare our journeys or struggles, even our triumphs.
[04:50:36] But also to show people that...
[04:50:52] The beautiful thing about people and the human spirit, which I see this, you know, take my name out of it, my story, I see this book as an example and as a journey.
[04:51:05] Not a me, but as of what the human spirit can go through.
[04:51:11] So with that said, these parting thoughts I wrote, did not only help people not discredit their own situations, lives, circumstances and struggles, but also to tell people that the beautiful thing about that human spirit is, you never know...
[04:51:32] When, how, or to what capacity you're going to step up in a time of need for someone else and be that here to someone else, big or small.
[04:51:47] And so, thanks for letting me put that out there, but I had to do that because on one hand it was good and turned out to be a positive that people were coming up and telling me those things.
[04:52:05] Because I realized and I had this light bulb moment as I was going through years of thinking about, okay, if and when I graduate from school or if and when I get the time and sanity in my life to maybe start a project like this, I'm willing, I'll be motivated and I will do that.
[04:52:31] But, and, and because I had to speaking the school, the metal, I thinkfully things are too chaotic, so I couldn't have this light bulb moment before the timing was right.
[04:52:47] But, as I thought about how would I write this book, because again, I don't want to book that only people that have been to combat could understand.
[04:53:00] I realized, after all these people have been coming up and saying, well, I was never in the military, but, and then proceed to tell me their own version of struggle, I realize, of course, everyone can relate to struggle and everyone physically, mentally or emotionally has struggled and can relate.
[04:53:23] And, and really thinking about it, realizing that struggle beyond religion, beyond really anything but love, struggle is the only common thread throughout every single person on this earth.
[04:53:39] And so, when I realized that that's the thing I could write about and I could just work on the terminology and take everything I've been through and allow everyone to relate and understand, that was amazing.
[04:53:52] But, also, it's sad and hard to hear these people just after they hear my story or research about my story. For the first thing they tell me is, you know, comparing their struggle and what they haven't done or haven't been through.
[04:54:14] And so, one of the most important pieces of this book is to tell people, you know, don't discount yourself, your journey, your struggles, everybody handles adversity differently, everyone heals in their own time.
[04:54:30] And, and you never know, again, how or to what capacity you're going to step up and take that grenade and combat or in life for those around you.
[04:54:56] Yeah, as you were saying this as you were going through this, I was kind of following your thoughts.
[04:55:04] And you said something about, take me out of this picture, take, you know, remove me from this.
[04:55:11] And I mean, we've gone over countless stories on this podcast of the strength of the human will and the human spirit is beyond comprehension.
[04:55:19] But when you said, take me out of this, I actually did something a little bit different.
[04:55:25] In my mind, I sat here and said to myself, what if we take the grenade out of the picture?
[04:55:30] What if what if that didn't happen to you? What if that just didn't happen? Those Taliban didn't attack that day?
[04:55:38] You went on that deployment, you came home, you carried on with your life.
[04:55:43] And when you said to people, don't discount your struggle. Don't discount what you've been through.
[04:55:52] I started thinking to myself and came to the same conclusion that you just said, which is, you don't know.
[04:56:02] Don't discount the fact that you've got this in you, you're a human being and the strength of the human will and the human spirit.
[04:56:12] Just because you haven't measured it yet doesn't mean that it's not there.
[04:56:19] And that's an incredibly humble thing for you to be saying, but from your perspective, after hearing this over and over again, it makes sense that someone that's been through what you've been through can connect those dots and paint a picture for all of us to see.
[04:56:39] So yeah, thank you. And those parts, like you mentioned this book, and I've mentioned, it's called you are worth it and building a life worth fighting for by Kyle Carpenter.
[04:56:55] I know you talk about gratitude and I hope that I know that you like to give gratitude, but I hope that you can accept some gratitude from all of us.
[04:57:09] We've been going for almost five hours and it's just been incredible to sit here with you, talk to you.
[04:57:19] So, accept some gratitude from me, from everyone that's listening for your sacrifice for writing this book for sharing your lessons.
[04:57:29] People want to, you know, keep up with you.
[04:57:35] How do we do it? Facebook, we got Facebook, we got Instagram and Twitter, Facebook, your William Kyle Carpenter.
[04:57:45] And Instagram and Twitter, you have a unique call sign on there, which is at ChickStigSkars.
[04:57:55] So at ChickStigSkars with no C, by the way, it's an H.I.K.S. DigSkars.
[04:58:01] And then you're also available on, you got your own website, which is William Kyle Carpenter.com.
[04:58:11] And that's how people can track you and you've got all kinds of stuff going on, speaking, talking to companies, your Twitter, your Instagrams, cool, you're always posting stuff on there.
[04:58:25] I know, like I said, we've been going for almost five hours.
[04:58:28] Do you got anything else you want to say, anything else you want to close out with?
[04:58:36] Well, I'll just throw it right back at you. Thank you for having me.
[04:58:41] And not only am I sincerely honored to have been here today, but again, thank you for lending me your platform and helping me get the good word out about helping people through their struggle.
[04:58:59] But you know, you have helped me along the way. And I appreciate the strength and reality checks that I hate sometimes when I'm rolling out about eight,
[04:59:17] and I'm running the morning out of sea. You've already had half of a day, but yeah, you're the man, Joca, and I thank you for this. And as a person, but you know, maybe seal with a, you know, Superman type career and the things you've been there and what you've done, it's awesome.
[04:59:41] And it's, it's home-winged to be here.
[04:59:44] I can promise you that I was no Superman and it's certainly I'm not, but I appreciate you coming on. I can't even express that enough.
[04:59:56] And most important, I think is just thank you for setting in example, for setting example for all of us to follow of what courage is, of what honor is, and thank you for representing.
[05:00:13] And not just the Marine Corps, but representing men like Jason Dunham and Michael Montsour, what you're walking around here doing.
[05:00:23] And I know that we will never forget them.
[05:00:30] And we will always be grateful for men like them and for men like you and for all of those who go forward, and different, defend freedom in the world. So thank you.
[05:00:49] You're worth it.
[05:00:52] And with that, Kyle has left the building, obviously, just an incredible story, an incredible human being. And I am lucky to be able to talk to people like Kyle.
[05:01:09] And I'm lucky to be able to talk to people like you out there listening, which if you didn't know, I'm going to some cities.
[05:01:18] And I'm going to talk directly to you in person. This is, in fact, a tour.
[05:01:25] So at one point, not too long ago, I was saying, look, we're not a rock band in echelon front. We don't go on tour. The master is two, maybe three times a year.
[05:01:37] But this is an a master. This is just me talking. So it's not taking the entire resources of echelon front and focusing on this. So it's just me and it's a tour. So here's what's going on.
[05:01:50] The live gigs in, first of all, January 6th in Washington, DC.
[05:01:58] January 11th in Austin, Texas, which is sold out January 16th in New York, January 20th in LA, January 27th in Seattle, and January 28th in San Francisco.
[05:02:16] So if you want to come to those, go to jockellive.com.
[05:02:21] And again, we already have one show that is sold out. Apologize apologies for that.
[05:02:29] We'll do more. But if you want to come to these other gigs, go to jockellive.com and get tickets. Come see me, come hang out.
[05:02:37] I'm going to talk. I'm going to go deep on some stuff. Going to bring the heat.
[05:02:44] Yeah, that's what we're doing. So jockellive.com echo.
[05:02:53] I know that have a Kyle Carpenter on here can definitely change your perspective on things.
[05:03:00] I know that we all have the opportunity to kind of create the life that we want.
[05:03:08] The best possible life that we can create for ourselves seems like a good plan.
[05:03:15] And I was wondering, you know, what you have thoughts, advice, maybe perspective on what things might make our life better.
[05:03:25] And by our life, I mean, all of us, all of our lives better.
[05:03:29] And at the same time, also, we'll provide support to this podcast so that we can continue to bring people.
[05:03:37] Like Kyle Carpenter on and share his story, document his story.
[05:03:45] Document his story. I mean, I'm saying his story, little play on words here.
[05:03:51] Straight up history.
[05:03:54] History.
[05:03:56] So that's what we're doing. So what do you have? What do you have for recommendations for us?
[05:04:00] Improving your life.
[05:04:01] Improving your life.
[05:04:02] Broadly any recommendations.
[05:04:04] All right. Well, due to you two, right. That's the thing that comes to mind first.
[05:04:11] Due to some talking in a friend happens to be named Keenan Cornelius.
[05:04:16] Due to you guys.
[05:04:17] And I mentioned it to some,
[05:04:20] Due to you guys kind of understand.
[05:04:22] Understanding, yes, sir.
[05:04:23] Because Keenan is a real good. Let's say due to play or even that's an understanding.
[05:04:28] And that's an understanding.
[05:04:29] So he and we talked about it briefly at the master. So you two improve your life.
[05:04:36] And you know how you do you we, I guess, but you do a good job in spreading the word of that notion.
[05:04:43] Try to.
[05:04:44] Yes.
[05:04:45] Did you help me with my life?
[05:04:47] But I don't want to keep it a secret.
[05:04:49] Yeah.
[05:04:50] I want everybody to know that because it'll make everybody's life better.
[05:04:53] Yeah.
[05:04:54] So it's no secret.
[05:04:55] We're spreading the word.
[05:04:56] Hey, in the old days it was a secret.
[05:04:59] When I started Gigi to a secret, you weren't allowed to show people that weren't in your academy.
[05:05:04] Anything about you, Gigi.
[05:05:05] Yeah. And back then, you would have more like a way higher percentage.
[05:05:09] If not everybody was like, if you did Gigi to your in your doing Gigi to you know,
[05:05:14] it wasn't you're not a casual Gigi to you know.
[05:05:16] It was really, it was more way more rare, you know.
[05:05:19] Now it's starting to have like a casual Gigi to person, you know.
[05:05:23] And some people might think that that's like not that good, you know.
[05:05:28] Because like, hey, where Gigi to you guys, you're just a guy, you're not kind of thing.
[05:05:32] And I dig it.
[05:05:33] But I think that having casual Gigi to people is highly beneficial.
[05:05:38] In fact, it'll help not only the normal non-hardcore Gigi to people,
[05:05:45] not only they know help them for sure, but it'll even help the hardcore Gigi to people.
[05:05:49] Yeah.
[05:05:50] More people in Gigi to is better.
[05:05:51] It's better for everybody.
[05:05:53] For everybody.
[05:05:54] 100%.
[05:05:55] And that's not to mention the personal benefits you get from doing Gigi to.
[05:06:00] Wait, that is the personal benefits.
[05:06:02] Oh, but you're saying collectively it helps, but it also helps individually.
[05:06:05] Yes.
[05:06:06] 100%.
[05:06:07] So, do Gigi to, if you don't do Gigi to you.
[05:06:10] So we're doing Gigi to that's what we're getting at.
[05:06:12] Yep.
[05:06:13] 100%.
[05:06:14] So, now I look into it.
[05:06:15] If you don't do Gigi to, where are you wondering?
[05:06:17] Some people are on the fence.
[05:06:18] They're like, I can't hear you.
[05:06:19] You can't hear me.
[05:06:21] So, Gigi to, I can't.
[05:06:23] Step out of that column.
[05:06:25] Yeah.
[05:06:25] Get right into Gigi to.
[05:06:27] There was a guy who asked at the Australian monster.
[05:06:29] He was like, it was one of the early questions.
[05:06:31] He was like, oh, is there striking?
[05:06:33] And I knew exactly when he met because he didn't know at all.
[05:06:37] Like, you know, because when you talk about Gigi to, it's like, there's sort of three
[05:06:41] maybe more kind of capacities that you kind of regard Gigi to.
[05:06:45] So, the original in my, the more the most holistic way of looking at it is like a
[05:06:51] Hoyst Gracie UFC one situation, where it's like a straight up fight.
[05:06:55] You know, you submission holds positioning like what Gigi to is.
[05:06:59] Sure, you can use strikes, but that's not what Gigi to is.
[05:07:01] Just doesn't training striking, you know.
[05:07:04] But you can strike in Gigi to kind of thing.
[05:07:08] Right.
[05:07:09] So he was asking, like, oh, yeah, can you strike?
[05:07:11] So it's like, oh, well, it depends, you know.
[05:07:14] So when you train Gigi to out of Gigi to school, typically no, even though some places
[05:07:18] do offer training and striking in a Gigi to competition, sport Gigi to strike.
[05:07:23] But that's just the rule.
[05:07:25] That's just the rule.
[05:07:26] So I'm saying, but then obviously in a self-defense situation, yeah, you do whatever you want.
[05:07:30] Kind of thing.
[05:07:31] But if you know Gigi to, you're going to have the advantage and that again,
[05:07:35] is an understatement.
[05:07:36] They're going to be striking you to, by the way, so it helps to know these sorts of things.
[05:07:40] True. But at the end of the day, from a day to day standpoint,
[05:07:44] Gigi to is an enjoyable and beneficial, another understatement thing to do for yourself and for the people around you.
[05:07:53] Yeah, I agree.
[05:07:55] And if you're going to be doing Gigi to which hopefully you are, you're going to need a Gigi.
[05:07:59] Yes.
[05:08:00] So we're going to need a rash guard.
[05:08:02] Yes.
[05:08:03] You're going to need the clothing uniform.
[05:08:06] They uniform.
[05:08:07] For the uniform.
[05:08:08] Yeah.
[05:08:09] Yeah.
[05:08:10] Yeah.
[05:08:10] Yeah.
[05:08:11] Yeah.
[05:08:12] Yeah.
[05:08:13] I call it uniform for sure.
[05:08:14] Yeah.
[05:08:15] So where are we going to get the Gigi?
[05:08:16] No one asked me that anymore.
[05:08:18] No, they don't ask.
[05:08:19] You know what?
[05:08:20] Because they know everybody knows.
[05:08:21] But for those of us that don't quite know yet, here, let me tell you, origin.
[05:08:25] You can get an origin Gigi.
[05:08:27] 100%.
[05:08:28] But an origin main.com is where you can get these things.
[05:08:30] You can get origin Gigi.
[05:08:31] You can get rash guards there as well.
[05:08:33] You can also get jeans.
[05:08:35] Yes.
[05:08:36] But that you wear every single day.
[05:08:38] Yeah.
[05:08:39] And by the way, emergency situation.
[05:08:41] Mm-hmm.
[05:08:42] Something happens.
[05:08:43] And you don't have a pair of shorts to do squats in.
[05:08:46] Guess what you can do.
[05:08:47] Where your origin jeans.
[05:08:48] They got a little bit of flexible.
[05:08:50] You can, you can, you can, you can do.
[05:08:53] You can do.
[05:08:54] Ask to grass squats in origin jeans.
[05:08:57] All day long.
[05:08:58] No factor.
[05:08:59] Good.
[05:09:00] No factor.
[05:09:01] Yeah, man.
[05:09:01] I mean, it's face.
[05:09:02] That's what we kind of look for in that.
[05:09:03] And they're good to go.
[05:09:05] And of course, they're made in America.
[05:09:07] 100%.
[05:09:08] So when you buy a pair of jeans, you are supporting freedom.
[05:09:12] When you buy something from origin, you are supporting freedom and democracy in the world.
[05:09:17] That's what you're doing.
[05:09:18] So you might want to do it.
[05:09:20] I want to do it.
[05:09:21] Not to mention they are dope jeans.
[05:09:23] If I'm wearing it.
[05:09:24] Oh, no.
[05:09:25] You mean from like a fashion perspective.
[05:09:26] I can't judge that.
[05:09:27] We'll just say from an aesthetic.
[05:09:29] Right.
[05:09:30] Like a 10 minute conversation with someone about.
[05:09:33] Whether the jeans.
[05:09:34] They were just they wouldn't even ask me.
[05:09:35] They were just telling me that the jeans were quote fashionable and I was like, well, they're just jeans.
[05:09:42] They're like, yeah, but I said, what's different about these?
[05:09:44] I said, there's no like.
[05:09:46] Remember like those jeans that were out for a while.
[05:09:49] No.
[05:09:50] No.
[05:09:50] You know what I was saying?
[05:09:51] No, they had like no.
[05:09:52] They had like sewing all over the way.
[05:09:54] Yeah.
[05:09:55] Yeah.
[05:09:55] And like ripping and whatever and so-and-up.
[05:09:58] Rips and stuff like that.
[05:09:59] Yeah.
[05:10:00] It's not that.
[05:10:01] Or didn't do that.
[05:10:02] No, no, no.
[05:10:03] They're a pair of blue jeans.
[05:10:04] Here's what you'd be hard pressed to give me a fashion specific part of those jeans that is not fully there for function only.
[05:10:15] Right.
[05:10:16] Tell me one thing.
[05:10:17] Tell me one thing.
[05:10:18] I can't.
[05:10:19] Because they're functional.
[05:10:20] The here's the thing.
[05:10:21] This is like Pete Roberts getting offended right now.
[05:10:23] Because you know he's like, oh, guys, little fashion.
[05:10:25] Yeah.
[05:10:26] And a lot of things like it's kind of reverse.
[05:10:27] Yoke.
[05:10:28] You're reverse.
[05:10:29] You're just functional.
[05:10:31] I forget even when a Yoke, you explained to me.
[05:10:33] Yeah.
[05:10:34] Remember, but it was it was.
[05:10:35] I don't look for the yoke shape or quality.
[05:10:39] No one every time I pick up the jeans like I'm not like fascinated and just enamored by the Yoke.
[05:10:44] Yeah.
[05:10:45] I just put them on and they work in.
[05:10:46] All right.
[05:10:47] They functional.
[05:10:48] They weren't functional.
[05:10:49] There you go.
[05:10:50] Thank you.
[05:10:51] But when I see when they work, they got kind of look good.
[05:10:53] Like my wife can't, you know, talk trash to me because I'm wearing grum.
[05:10:57] Crum pudgins or dad jeans or whatever.
[05:10:59] I don't even know what that means, bro.
[05:11:00] Yeah.
[05:11:01] Because I am a grandpa.
[05:11:02] We have not really, but I'm a dad.
[05:11:03] Nonetheless, you can be a grandpa and that's cool.
[05:11:05] Dad is cool.
[05:11:06] But if you have dad jeans, maybe that's cool.
[05:11:08] If your wife is telling you that you haven't been to the like, I'm they're not attractive.
[05:11:12] Turn my wife's not saying that.
[05:11:14] Just saying they fake good.
[05:11:15] So that's what I mean when I say they work.
[05:11:18] So the jeans are Sarah Charles approved.
[05:11:21] Yeah.
[05:11:22] We'll go with that.
[05:11:23] All right.
[05:11:24] Anyway.
[05:11:25] Yes.
[05:11:26] All made in America.
[05:11:27] All made in America.
[05:11:28] Yeah.
[05:11:29] It's not nothing.
[05:11:30] What's that stuff that they plant in the ground?
[05:11:32] And then it goes.
[05:11:33] What is it called?
[05:11:34] Cotton.
[05:11:35] Cotton.
[05:11:36] All right.
[05:11:37] Thanks.
[05:11:38] What comments don't forget about joint warfare.
[05:11:40] Don't forget about criminal.
[05:11:41] Don't forget about discipline and discipline.
[05:11:42] Go in the cans, which I'm drinking right now, which is legit.
[05:11:47] And of course, strawberry and chocolate and mint and peanut butter.
[05:11:54] Mulk, which is glorious, which is dessert.
[05:11:58] It's all it is that happens.
[05:12:00] Sure.
[05:12:01] It has a bunch of protein in it.
[05:12:02] Clean protein.
[05:12:03] Yes.
[05:12:04] Sure. There's no sugar.
[05:12:06] Sure.
[05:12:07] It tastes delicious.
[05:12:08] It's dessert.
[05:12:09] Yeah.
[05:12:10] So check some of that out.
[05:12:11] And get your get your chocolate.
[05:12:13] As well.
[05:12:14] Winters here.
[05:12:16] Yeah.
[05:12:16] Bruce them up.
[05:12:17] Get a brew on us that Aussies used to say.
[05:12:19] Or the brits.
[05:12:20] Hi.
[05:12:21] Like out in the field.
[05:12:22] Yeah.
[05:12:23] On the field.
[05:12:24] They're they're brewing up in the field.
[05:12:25] Do the brits still put milk in tea?
[05:12:27] Yes.
[05:12:27] That's the thing, right?
[05:12:28] These mybred does.
[05:12:29] Yeah.
[05:12:30] Yeah.
[05:12:31] No, they absolutely put milk in tea.
[05:12:32] I guess so.
[05:12:33] Why would I have any of that in the field though?
[05:12:35] Because they're not carrying milk with you in the field.
[05:12:37] Maybe eat it.
[05:12:38] I'll be eating milk.
[05:12:39] Maybe.
[05:12:40] Yeah.
[05:12:41] I don't think it's that serious in the field.
[05:12:42] But I dig it.
[05:12:43] You know, I know it's not a phase.
[05:12:44] Of course, it's still putting milk in the tea.
[05:12:46] It's a real thing.
[05:12:47] No, it's a real thing.
[05:12:48] No phase over there.
[05:12:50] Anyone.
[05:12:51] Cool.
[05:12:52] Anyway.
[05:12:53] Also.
[05:12:54] When you're getting the copy of you are worth it.
[05:12:56] Building a life worth fighting for by cow carpenter.
[05:12:59] Don't worry.
[05:13:00] I got you.
[05:13:01] It's on our website.
[05:13:02] Jocopotcast.com.
[05:13:03] Click on books from the episode boom.
[05:13:04] It'll be right there.
[05:13:05] Listed.
[05:13:06] Ready for you to purchase if you want to do so.
[05:13:08] Also.
[05:13:09] Jocco is a star.
[05:13:10] It's called Jocco's door.
[05:13:11] And this is where we.
[05:13:12] It's where we get.
[05:13:14] Clothing items.
[05:13:16] Displine equals freedom.
[05:13:17] T-shirts, hats,
[05:13:18] Beanie's,
[05:13:19] Hoodies.
[05:13:20] People been asking me what?
[05:13:22] Defcore.
[05:13:23] Stand for.
[05:13:24] They get the death part.
[05:13:26] They get the core part.
[05:13:27] And I'll go into that at some point.
[05:13:29] But let me just say that there's layers.
[05:13:32] Yes.
[05:13:33] There's some layers there.
[05:13:34] And this is important.
[05:13:35] Very important.
[05:13:36] Yes.
[05:13:37] And this is what I'm.
[05:13:38] I'm.
[05:13:39] I gather.
[05:13:40] This is what I feel.
[05:13:41] I feel like we all kind of know what that means.
[05:13:43] I think people understand.
[05:13:45] Yeah.
[05:13:46] Understand.
[05:13:46] From from a broad perspective.
[05:13:48] What it means.
[05:13:49] But then there's layers.
[05:13:50] Right.
[05:13:51] Right.
[05:13:51] They.
[05:13:52] Yeah.
[05:13:53] And they're not specifically.
[05:13:54] And not something else.
[05:13:55] But that aside that I feel like we know.
[05:13:57] Like we know we feel it.
[05:13:59] Yep.
[05:14:00] But anyway, yes.
[05:14:01] So yeah, you want to,
[05:14:02] Of course, shirts, bone,
[05:14:03] Talk of store.com.
[05:14:04] Cool stuff on the.
[05:14:05] When you're representing a deaf course,
[05:14:07] shirt.
[05:14:08] That's pretty much kind of.
[05:14:10] You're kind of.
[05:14:11] You're kind of there.
[05:14:12] You're kind of.
[05:14:13] You're kind of.
[05:14:14] Yes.
[05:14:14] You get.
[05:14:15] You get like the full head nod.
[05:14:16] You're kind of.
[05:14:17] You're kind of.
[05:14:18] You get like the full head nod.
[05:14:20] You're kind of.
[05:14:21] You're kind of.
[05:14:22] In the wild representing and they will.
[05:14:25] They will check in with me.
[05:14:26] Let me know later.
[05:14:27] The take pictures.
[05:14:28] All this stuff.
[05:14:29] And yes.
[05:14:29] Oh, so what I want to start doing is if I see someone in the wild and they come up to me,
[05:14:35] want to start doing this.
[05:14:36] Doing live Q and I get that person.
[05:14:38] One question.
[05:14:39] Cause everywhere, I go, you know,
[05:14:40] people like hey, hey, what's up?
[05:14:42] Talk like that.
[05:14:43] But I want to start going, okay, give me your one question.
[05:14:46] And do, right there.
[05:14:47] Just let's do it.
[05:14:48] What's the answer to the question, live on.
[05:14:51] You call the brim.
[05:14:55] Or you could flip it around and ask them a question.
[05:14:58] Hmm, I don't know that might freak people out.
[05:15:01] Yeah, that's what people in the spot.
[05:15:03] Yeah, you can do that.
[05:15:03] You're right.
[05:15:04] You're completely wrong.
[05:15:05] Some people would don't care, but some people would freak out.
[05:15:07] Yeah.
[05:15:08] So you don't want to?
[05:15:09] Yeah, that's true.
[05:15:10] I agree.
[05:15:11] Low risk.
[05:15:12] Anyway, yes, some more rash cards on there too, by the way.
[05:15:15] Some cool ones.
[05:15:17] Also, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already on your stitcher.
[05:15:21] iTunes, they get something.
[05:15:23] It's important.
[05:15:24] Yeah, you can use a review on there.
[05:15:26] Yeah.
[05:15:27] I read the reviews.
[05:15:28] I haven't read the reviews all because sometimes the reviews are so good.
[05:15:31] Like, and by good, I don't mean positive reviews.
[05:15:34] I mean, they're funny.
[05:15:35] I mean, you know what it is?
[05:15:36] The reviews have layers.
[05:15:37] The reviews have layers.
[05:15:39] It's kind of worth.
[05:15:40] I've read some of those before.
[05:15:42] Yeah.
[05:15:42] They're always good and they kind of crack me up.
[05:15:45] So I appreciate that one.
[05:15:47] Also, don't forget about the grounded podcast.
[05:15:49] I uploaded another one by the way.
[05:15:50] I saw that with one Jason Gardner.
[05:15:54] And then the Warrior Kid Podcast, which will be released by Christmas.
[05:15:59] Cool.
[05:16:00] I'm going to get three possibly four done.
[05:16:02] Because I know people are amped and another warrior, kids are out there going, hey,
[05:16:06] what's wrong with Jocco?
[05:16:07] What's wrong with Uncle Jake?
[05:16:08] Like, can you put together another podcast?
[05:16:11] I'll say you why.
[05:16:13] Uncle Jake's out there working.
[05:16:14] He's out there getting after it.
[05:16:17] But he'll come back.
[05:16:18] He'll record some more podcasts.
[05:16:19] He's going to do it.
[05:16:20] And don't forget about that Warrior Kid soap from IrishOx Ranch.com.
[05:16:27] 100% get some.
[05:16:30] Warrior Kid up there, making soap.
[05:16:32] And if you want to, then you should.
[05:16:35] So that you can stay great.
[05:16:37] I think it's also a YouTube channel.
[05:16:41] Official.
[05:16:42] It doesn't have the checkmark.
[05:16:44] I think YouTube has checkmarks.
[05:16:45] Oh, does it?
[05:16:46] I think I'm pretty sure we don't rate the checkmark.
[05:16:48] Wait.
[05:16:49] Yeah.
[05:16:50] Oh, I may be in a thing.
[05:16:52] I don't think it does, bro.
[05:16:53] No, I don't think it does.
[05:16:54] No, I don't think it does.
[05:16:55] Well, I'm going to look into it.
[05:16:57] Look into it.
[05:16:58] I'm going to look into it.
[05:16:59] Now, the last checkmark, no checkmark, does it matter?
[05:17:01] Jocco podcast does have an official YouTube channel.
[05:17:05] It's just called Jocco podcast.
[05:17:07] And, you know.
[05:17:08] And we just released Mikey in the Dragons.
[05:17:10] Full.
[05:17:12] The entire thing, you know, drawings by John Bowie's act, Echo put together, we'll call it
[05:17:18] dynamic video of the images and the lettering.
[05:17:25] And yeah, so if you want to have your kids listen to Mikey in the Dragons, read
[05:17:29] by Uncle Jake.
[05:17:30] If you want to hear my accents, if you want to hear my seven year old boy voice, some
[05:17:36] forget it from England or from Scotland or from Ireland or somewhere not America.
[05:17:44] I heard that I was like, that's the sound good.
[05:17:46] You know, it was good.
[05:17:47] I liked it.
[05:17:48] It kept me immersed in the story.
[05:17:49] We'll put it in the way.
[05:17:50] You seem to say.
[05:17:51] I should have rehearsed that more or experimented more.
[05:17:55] But I think I'd make up for it when I do the King's voice.
[05:18:00] And when you put the reverberation on the King's voice, that makes it all kind of worthwhile.
[05:18:04] I can deal with the kid.
[05:18:06] Can you have used some like post production to raise my voice for the little kids'
[05:18:11] voice or something?
[05:18:12] Oh, like the tone?
[05:18:13] Yeah.
[05:18:14] Yeah, a pitch shift.
[05:18:15] Yeah, that would have been nice.
[05:18:16] It said it sounds like a job.
[05:18:17] It's been a while.
[05:18:18] It's been a year old kid that has been the war.
[05:18:22] Exactly.
[05:18:23] Very entertaining.
[05:18:24] No, no.
[05:18:25] It's essentially like an audio book with video.
[05:18:27] Yeah, it's an audio book with video.
[05:18:29] So check that out.
[05:18:30] Good one.
[05:18:31] Yes, it is on the YouTube channel.
[05:18:33] And don't forget about psychological warfare.
[05:18:35] Yes, sir.
[05:18:36] Did I cut you off?
[05:18:37] No.
[05:18:38] We're going to talk about psychological warfare.
[05:18:39] Yeah.
[05:18:40] If you want to, the people who are going to like this are going to wake me up in the morning
[05:18:42] or I wish I could talk to you when I want to eat a doughnut or I wish I would
[05:18:45] talk to you when I don't want to work out.
[05:18:47] Cool.
[05:18:48] I will talk to you.
[05:18:49] Get psychological warfare from iTunes, Google Play, MB3.
[05:18:51] And when you feel that moment of weakness, press play on your iPhone 14 or your Samsung
[05:18:59] Galaxy 98.
[05:19:00] Or whatever it is, note your notes, whatever.
[05:19:05] Press play on that thing.
[05:19:06] And you can listen to me tell you to put the doughnut down.
[05:19:10] Sugar.
[05:19:11] Sugar.
[05:19:12] Sugar.
[05:19:13] Sugar.
[05:19:14] Sugar.
[05:19:15] Dakota, Milietton microomaingrajian.
[05:19:16] araqing somos movement project Formula flight contract through screen translation and
[05:19:19] changing products.
[05:19:20] I would also want say that support are also available to Koreans, we would be all
[05:19:21] articles, YouTube your app page.
[05:19:23] I would also want to share it with you much further to see if you have an
[05:19:28] employee to support us or your neighborhood, to your home or to your home.
[05:19:32] And it would also be a wonderful question for me.
[05:19:32] They asked me to help someone who got helpful about it and if it's an easy
[05:19:35] Iran dialect study, comment on him, bring it to your community and
[05:19:40] blog.
[05:19:41] That's all I'm going to say, get this book.
[05:19:45] It's awesome.
[05:19:46] On top of that, I have a new book coming out.
[05:19:50] It's called Leadership Strategy and Tactics.
[05:19:54] It has a ton of information that you can use to take and apply to your immediate life.
[05:20:01] There's no pause between taking what's in this book and putting it in action.
[05:20:08] You can do it right now.
[05:20:10] It's also a reference book.
[05:20:11] When you run into a little problem and you go, man, I wish Joko was here to tell me about
[05:20:16] what I should do here.
[05:20:17] No, no, no, you just open it up.
[05:20:18] You just open it up, you check the index and you're like, oh, what should I do about emotional
[05:20:24] arguments?
[05:20:25] Oh, oh, there you go.
[05:20:27] A emotional arguments page 59.
[05:20:30] What should I do?
[05:20:31] How can I improve my charisma?
[05:20:32] Oh, page 65, 66 and 213.
[05:20:34] Oh, what should I do in someone's complaints?
[05:20:36] Oh, go to page 195 through 196.
[05:20:40] What if I have a complex problem?
[05:20:41] Oh, check page 65.
[05:20:42] All these things are just in there.
[05:20:44] So there you go.
[05:20:46] Check out Leadership Strategy and Tactics and look.
[05:20:50] We've been through this many times before.
[05:20:52] And this is all my fault.
[05:20:56] But we know that the publisher does not understand the podcast because I personally have
[05:21:04] failed to explain to them that there's people listening to this podcast and that the people
[05:21:08] listening to the podcast want to read the book.
[05:21:11] And so when the book comes out, if you have an order to eat yet, they're going to run
[05:21:16] out of books again.
[05:21:17] Two problems with that.
[05:21:18] Number one, you'll have to wait a long time to get it.
[05:21:20] And what's even worse than that is you might end up with a second edition.
[05:21:25] A second edition.
[05:21:27] And you notice I can't say a dish when I say second.
[05:21:29] No, no, no, no, no.
[05:21:31] It's a second edition.
[05:21:32] It's a totally different thing.
[05:21:33] Now if you order now, you're going to get that first edition.
[05:21:38] Which is what you want.
[05:21:40] You don't want to be walking around.
[05:21:42] So I wasn't in the game.
[05:21:43] You might as well get, you know, some people get like a dish, putting cool freedom, tattoo,
[05:21:46] or a good tattoo.
[05:21:47] Sure.
[05:21:48] Cool.
[05:21:49] That's cool.
[05:21:50] You're in the game.
[05:21:51] If you get a second edition, you might as well just get a tattoo that says, wasn't in the game.
[05:21:56] Got that second edition.
[05:21:58] Hey, I just spent money on, I get books.
[05:22:02] I try and get books that are first edition.
[05:22:05] I'm like, well about face, I have a lot of copies of about face.
[05:22:08] I think I have the close to 20 copies of about face.
[05:22:13] They're on one bookshelf.
[05:22:14] It's awesome.
[05:22:16] But the little special ones, well, I've got a bunch of signed ones by hack.
[05:22:22] I've got the advanced readers copy.
[05:22:24] Sine by hack that was given to me at a master.
[05:22:29] By guys, I can't, I thought you might like this.
[05:22:31] I was like, even even, I don't even think he understood how much
[05:22:34] you actually like.
[05:22:35] Look, I'm a hard person to shop for.
[05:22:36] I'm a hard person to give anything to.
[05:22:41] My wife just doesn't get me anything.
[05:22:43] Because she's like, whatever you want, you just get, I mean, I don't sit there and think
[05:22:47] about, like, oh, well, I really wish, no, no, no, we've I want something I've got it.
[05:22:52] My wife said, I'm not even getting anything.
[05:22:53] We got cool, don't get me anything.
[05:22:55] Just hang out.
[05:22:56] It's all good.
[05:22:57] What do you get for what do you want for Christmas?
[05:22:58] Nothing.
[05:23:00] This guy gave me that addition, the advanced readers copy, unedited addition, signed by
[05:23:05] David Hackworth.
[05:23:06] You know what that thing is?
[05:23:07] In my gun safe.
[05:23:09] It's in my gun to safe.
[05:23:11] Dang.
[05:23:12] Literally the best gift you know.
[05:23:15] It's, I think it is, well, I can't think of another gift that's been better than that
[05:23:20] in my life.
[05:23:21] Right now, I mean, I'll have to review that statement because I'm really, I haven't
[05:23:26] thought about it much.
[05:23:27] But I mean, it's been a long time since I was needing something that I couldn't figure
[05:23:33] out.
[05:23:34] I mean, this was just, if I just right now just said, okay, I have unlimited money and
[05:23:39] I want to get another one of those.
[05:23:40] I don't think I could find one.
[05:23:42] I don't think I could find one.
[05:23:44] So anyways, I don't even know what we're talking about.
[05:23:47] But I do know this.
[05:23:49] First of all, that's the first edition.
[05:23:52] You want that first.
[05:23:53] Get on, get on the Amazon.
[05:23:58] Let my publisher understand that we need to print more, they need to print more copies.
[05:24:01] So otherwise you're going to be late.
[05:24:03] You're going to get that second edition.
[05:24:05] You saw in the video, I included the first edition.
[05:24:07] Yes, I know.
[05:24:08] Little, little, little message, little subliminal.
[05:24:13] Maybe not so subliminal message to people to get some, get some of that first edition.
[05:24:17] All right, also we have way the word you're kid three, where there's a will.
[05:24:21] We have way the word your kid number one and number two, Mark's mission.
[05:24:25] We have Mike in the Dragons.
[05:24:26] Again, you know, you get the video.
[05:24:27] You watch the video now.
[05:24:28] That's for free YouTube.
[05:24:31] Now teach your kid to read using that.
[05:24:33] They can flip through the pages.
[05:24:34] They can read along the pictures match.
[05:24:36] It's like what an incredible way to teach a kid to read and teach them to be brave.
[05:24:40] Oh, here's two things you can do.
[05:24:42] Teach your kid to read and teach your kid to be brave.
[05:24:46] You're welcome.
[05:24:47] Merry Christmas.
[05:24:50] Welcome to the English Freedom Manual.
[05:24:51] This is another one.
[05:24:52] This is one of those ones where you're like, hey, I'm not really sure what to get this
[05:24:56] person for Christmas.
[05:24:59] Cool.
[05:25:00] Get them to this point equals freedom field manual.
[05:25:02] It's the book that they can put anywhere and they read two pages a day, one page a day,
[05:25:08] three pages a day and it keeps your damn mind straight.
[05:25:14] It keeps your mind straight.
[05:25:16] This is about the field manual.
[05:25:20] The new one?
[05:25:21] No, this one is freedom.
[05:25:22] Yes.
[05:25:23] My smile.
[05:25:24] Yes.
[05:25:25] Should you get it for someone who doesn't read?
[05:25:26] You know how people are like, oh, you got me booked.
[05:25:28] They don't really read books.
[05:25:29] Oh, it doesn't matter.
[05:25:30] Because it's like the book that they can read.
[05:25:32] But what if they're like, hey, I'm not going to read it, but I do want it because it
[05:25:35] looks cool.
[05:25:36] And on top of it, in this face, this is a thing.
[05:25:38] This is an actual thing where people will get it just to be like, yeah, I got it.
[05:25:45] Some people will see that book on their table and be like, dang, you're, you know, here's
[05:25:49] the thing.
[05:25:51] Even a person that doesn't read, that doesn't like to read, that hasn't read a book
[05:25:56] since high school.
[05:25:57] Maybe they didn't even read a book and high school.
[05:25:58] You get them the field manual.
[05:26:00] It's a different thing.
[05:26:01] It's not even reading.
[05:26:02] Yeah.
[05:26:03] It's like absorbing.
[05:26:04] First of all, it's not, it's easy to read.
[05:26:07] I mean, it's easy to read.
[05:26:08] It's not like, and you don't have to read the whole thing at once and you don't have to,
[05:26:11] you have to read it to understand what's going.
[05:26:12] There's nothing that needs to be explained to you.
[05:26:14] There's no like, hey, wait a second, who's this guy and what's going on?
[05:26:16] No, it doesn't happen.
[05:26:17] There's zero questions when you get done reading that book about anything.
[05:26:20] You're like, I totally get it.
[05:26:21] I know what I'm supposed to do.
[05:26:23] That's the discipline you can read in field manual.
[05:26:26] And that's what I tried to do with leadership strategy and tactics.
[05:26:28] Hey, look, you don't have to ask me these questions anymore because boom, here it is.
[05:26:31] Page 49.
[05:26:32] Yeah, that's what I learned how to deal with that problem.
[05:26:35] It's really effective in that, that new one, where it's like, you know, like, sometimes
[05:26:38] everyone's in a great, well, rarely.
[05:26:40] But it happens where I'll come in and I'll ask you like, hey, I do, I need to kind of
[05:26:44] something advice.
[05:26:45] I mean, this is literally the book for that.
[05:26:47] Like, this is chocolate advice on all these various specific things.
[05:26:50] And there's, it's surprisingly short book given how many things are in there.
[05:26:56] Yes, because I didn't want to put any fluff in there.
[05:26:59] There's no fluff in there.
[05:27:00] No fluff.
[05:27:01] I just wanted pragmatic solutions to problems.
[05:27:04] I'm reading a book right now.
[05:27:05] That's name will not be what you call it, remain remains to be.
[05:27:09] Why why?
[05:27:10] Whatever.
[05:27:11] Anyway, I mean, the book and there's fluff in it.
[05:27:12] I think it's normal to have.
[05:27:14] You're going to talk smack.
[05:27:15] I thought you're going to say something positive.
[05:27:16] And I was like, oh, tell the book.
[05:27:17] But if you're just saying there's a fluff in it.
[05:27:19] Yeah, I'm talking to you.
[05:27:20] I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm throwing it under the bus for reason.
[05:27:24] Okay.
[05:27:25] You're still reading it though, apparently.
[05:27:27] Oh, yeah.
[05:27:28] It's a good book.
[05:27:29] But they just happen to be fluff in it.
[05:27:30] There's like three story examples for the little thing that they're talking to.
[05:27:34] You know, there's a concept that they have, you know, stories, something like that.
[05:27:38] There's like three stories.
[05:27:39] Oh, yeah.
[05:27:40] You know, kind of like reading the concept and about the concept is enough.
[05:27:43] Like there's like three story.
[05:27:45] So kind of extreme ownership and that caught me.
[05:27:47] Leadership has two stories per concept.
[05:27:49] Okay.
[05:27:50] Well, you might be brushing up again.
[05:27:52] The thing is those stories are called me fluff.
[05:27:55] You're fluffy.
[05:27:56] Good.
[05:27:57] That's bad.
[05:27:58] But to me, because in my opinion, we have a military story.
[05:28:05] And then we have a civilian story.
[05:28:06] And then you have the principal.
[05:28:07] So you need to see the application in two different perspectives.
[05:28:10] Well, that obviously makes sense.
[05:28:12] I'm saying in this specific one.
[05:28:14] And a part of this is me, too, by the way, like it's fluff because I feel like it's
[05:28:18] fluff.
[05:28:19] What if someone reads a concept in this particular book that I'm reading?
[05:28:22] And they're like, I get it.
[05:28:23] But I'd like to hear an example here.
[05:28:25] The example, you're like, I get it.
[05:28:27] But what about in the real world, right?
[05:28:29] You know, maybe they need the three example.
[05:28:30] I get it, man.
[05:28:31] It's good.
[05:28:32] But to me, I got it when they explained it.
[05:28:33] And then I read a story of my co-incident.
[05:28:35] Did you feel that way about extreme ownership?
[05:28:37] Well, you know, I think that the application to business
[05:28:42] part of it, since I was not in the military, made it landed harder with me.
[05:28:47] I think.
[05:28:48] So in my opinion, now, so that's your fluff rating for extreme ownership.
[05:28:53] That's not a really fluff rating.
[05:28:55] Because I don't think there's any fluff in those books.
[05:28:56] I don't think so either.
[05:28:57] I think there's, there's, we are explaining the concepts in a way that people can relate
[05:29:03] to them and understand them.
[05:29:05] Yes.
[05:29:06] Agreed.
[05:29:07] Okay.
[05:29:08] So whoever this guy that wrote that at, maybe it's just that extra story.
[05:29:10] Maybe life and I would have written a sports example.
[05:29:13] What if we did military civilian and then random sports example?
[05:29:17] If I would have been a bit much.
[05:29:19] Okay, well, I see.
[05:29:20] That's what that's what the, that's what you want.
[05:29:22] Nothing can be added.
[05:29:23] Nothing can be taken away.
[05:29:24] There you go.
[05:29:25] So this dichotomy of leadership.
[05:29:26] It looks three-moner.
[05:29:27] So the leadership strategy and tactics.
[05:29:32] One, to me, has like way less.
[05:29:36] Like way less.
[05:29:37] That's where you, I understand the concept and I'm like, okay.
[05:29:40] And when there's a story, when there's like an example, whatever used in action and whatever,
[05:29:44] I'm like, cool, good.
[05:29:45] I got it and then you're just moving on.
[05:29:48] You're not like, okay, I gotta read like yet another one.
[05:29:50] Yet another one.
[05:29:51] I get it, man.
[05:29:53] Yeah, I'm looking at like some of the chapters in here are two pages long.
[05:29:57] I'm looking for one of the ones that's like one page long.
[05:29:59] Because there are, there's some that are, hey, it doesn't take a bunch of information.
[05:30:03] Yes.
[05:30:04] Don't dig in.
[05:30:05] You know, like, these are straightforward.
[05:30:10] So I'm gonna take a little bit more time.
[05:30:12] But I actually give pragmatic like how to actually say something to someone.
[05:30:19] Like don't say this.
[05:30:20] Because it's gonna offend them and they're not gonna listen to you say this.
[05:30:24] Because it'll win them over and they'll start to listen to what you have to say and then
[05:30:28] you'll make a positive influence.
[05:30:30] Yeah.
[05:30:31] Give that level of detail of leadership instruction.
[05:30:35] So that's that.
[05:30:36] And leadership strategy and tactics field manual, FM, zero, two.
[05:30:40] dichotomy leadership, extreme ownership, all those books get them.
[05:30:45] On top of that, we have an echelon front, which is our leadership consultancy.
[05:30:48] We solve problems through leadership.
[05:30:50] Go to echelonfront.com if you want us to come and help your business team or organization
[05:30:54] get better at leading.
[05:30:56] And once you get better leading, you get better at everything across the board.
[05:31:00] The FM lines are online training program because I, me, the team at echelon front, we can't
[05:31:09] always train everyone all the time.
[05:31:12] We don't have the capacity.
[05:31:13] So we decided to make an online training program interactive.
[05:31:18] What's another word to describe?
[05:31:20] It's not just interactive.
[05:31:22] It's immersive.
[05:31:23] So you're gonna go into scenarios in their and solve leadership problems and then get critiqued
[05:31:29] on how you did.
[05:31:30] So it's the most advanced form of online learning.
[05:31:36] Go to eFonline.com to check that out.
[05:31:40] And then we have eF Overwatch and EF Legion.
[05:31:46] So these are two.
[05:31:48] These are two businesses that we've started to take military personnel and get them into civilian
[05:31:59] jobs.
[05:31:59] Where they can use their leadership skills in the civilian sector and put positive influence
[05:32:06] into companies because life, me and the rest of the echelon front team get asked all the
[05:32:11] time.
[05:32:12] Hey, I really love what you guys did for us.
[05:32:14] But where can we hire people that know what you know?
[05:32:17] It's like, I'll tell you where.
[05:32:19] EF Overwatch and EF Legion.
[05:32:22] So go to eF Overwatch.com or eFleagent.com.
[05:32:24] Whether you're a military person getting out or you're a company that needs solid people
[05:32:31] that understand extreme ownership that understand the dichotomy leadership that understand
[05:32:35] the principles we talk about.
[05:32:37] That's where you get them.
[05:32:38] You need leadership at your team.
[05:32:39] Go to eF Overwatch.
[05:32:40] Go to eFleagent.com.
[05:32:42] And we also have musters coming up.
[05:32:44] We're gonna announce the date soon.
[05:32:45] But that is a live event.
[05:32:47] If you go to extremeownership.com and check those out.
[05:32:52] You can come see the entire echelon front team.
[05:32:56] And if you still want to communicate with us even after listening to hundreds and hundreds
[05:33:02] and hundreds of hours of this podcast, you can do it.
[05:33:06] We are on the interwebs.
[05:33:08] Kyle Carpenter is on Facebook at William Kyle Carpenter and he's on Instagram and Twitter
[05:33:16] at chicks, dig scars, CHIKS, dig scars.
[05:33:25] And on the interwebs, Kyle Carpenter.
[05:33:29] Sorry, William Kyle Carpenter.com.
[05:33:32] And of course, we are also on the interwebs on Twitter, Instagram and on that fish.
[05:33:38] And I am at Jacob, William, and once again, thanks to Kyle Carpenter for joining us here
[05:33:47] today and for passing on the lessons that he was taught through pain and through suffering
[05:33:56] and through leadership and brotherhood and through faith and through family.
[05:34:02] And it's an honor to have to be able to talk to these heroes and to the rest of those
[05:34:07] men and women that have worn the cloth of the nation.
[05:34:14] And that currently do so.
[05:34:16] Thank you for keeping evil at bay around the world and to our police and law enforcement
[05:34:21] and firefighters and paramedics and EMTs and dispatchers and correctional officers and border
[05:34:26] patrol and secret service and all the first responders out there.
[05:34:31] Thank you for what you do to protect us and keep us safe here at home.
[05:34:36] We are grateful for your service as well.
[05:34:42] And everyone else out there, the root word of motivate is modus and it means move and that's
[05:34:54] what you need to do.
[05:34:58] Stang motivated means keep moving.
[05:35:02] And things are bad, don't stop, don't let up, don't allow yourself to give in.
[05:35:10] Instead put your head down, put one foot in front of the other, keep moving and keep
[05:35:19] getting after it.
[05:35:22] And until next time, this is echo and jocco.
[05:35:28] All in the world enjoy it.