Jocko Podcast 184 w/ Echo Charles - Getting Over Abuse. Build Relationships as an Introvert

2019-07-04T04:00:18Z

Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles 0:00:00 - Opening 0:00:18 - How to build relationships being an introvert. 0:04:28 - How to lead a person with a "Cowboy" mentality or behavior. 0:14:29 - How to handle chronic complainers. 0:23:10 - Changing your mind on important issues. 0:35:58 - How do you detach when you're being personally attacked? 0:43:50 -What if you get fired after you take ownership of mistakes? 0:51:44 - Mistakes made in the past. 1:08:54 - Are you GETTING AFTER IT too hard? 1:34:24 - How to balance a dangerous job with protecting and providing for family. 1:42:55 - Getting over sexual abuse. 1:58:30 - SUPPORT: How to stay on THE PATH. JOCKO STORE Apparel: https://www.jockostore.com/collection... All Supplements: https://originmaine.com/nutrition/joc... Origin Jeans and Clothes: https://originmaine.com/durable-goods/ Origin Gis: https://originmaine.com/bjj-mma-fit/ Onnit Stuff: http://www.onnit.com/jocko Jocko White Tea: http://www.jockotea.com 2:14:22 - Closing Gratitude.

AI summary of episode

But the, and then I guess technically this is a dichotomy too where you can't do that too much because if you're always changing your mind with, like, you know, like, like, I don't know, we'll see a politician. And all of a sudden you've got a little bit of Conversation going and that's all we're looking for We're not looking to turn into like chatty caddy We're just trying to build Build relationships with people so you know who they are so they they know who you are That's what we're talking about now think crazy start small build from there But if you name the enemy, you know, like if you have some adversary, you know, and they thank you that person whatever, John Smith, you know, for not giving 100, you know, you might feed into you. Yeah, which I kind of like, I don't know where that's going to lead, you know, but I like that currently. This is something that we'll definitely saw in the seal team seat all the time in the civilian sector You know construction companies power companies companies where people are doing dangerous work right Policeing fire finding anything anything that has any element of danger you you definitely see this and and Like I said certainly so on the seal teams and the answer to this is a comedy answer for many leadership situations is you have to explain why So let me put it in a little context what you have to do is you have to say hey let me explain to you what happens When someone gets hurt or injured on this job. If you don't even respect yourself, if you're just like a bum in the street, where the thing came from, you know, someone that's just a drunk bum laying in his own vomit and wants to, you know, look at me and say, you look like a dirt bag. So look when I talk about playing the game I'm not talking about the fact that you have to change your entire personality profile To start to connect with people that's not what I'm saying you don't have to go from being someone that's What they say quiet and friendly you don't have to become some chatty extraver Run it around making small talk with anybody and On top of that there's a little bit of a statement here that says you know I'd rather work hard as if There's these are mutually exclusive things which they are certainly not So this being forming relationships with people and playing the game does not interfere with your work at all Not saying that you sit around and talk when there's work to be done Still married, but that person who didn't improve themselves will feel like they got phased out or kind of like the person might want to upgrade or something like that. I don't mean to be like, it's not like I'm hearing noise and be like, oh, you don't know what you're talking about. And what I said was, yeah, start training Gigietsu because the thing that you grab me with is like, oh, you want, you want to have a goal, you want to have meaning, you want to connect with people, you don't want to be alone, loneliness and all this stuff. But in a certain point, what I would tell, like after a guy was kind of beat down, like you just couldn't get something right or you would, you know, punch people, jump on him about a decision that he made or a movement that he made or whatever. And there was a level of frustration that, and it's the typical level of frustration from the parent, which was, you know, the kid has a lot of potential, but they're like, they're not training the way they should be and not working the way, you know, all that stuff. They get fired from their job and when they get fired from the job, it what it does is their confidence goes down and they get depressed and they decide they're not going to apply for a new job because I don't even know if I deserve it to get a new job and they sit around and eventually they go on apply for kind of like a lesser job. Or, you know, I'm sure there's like people out there where it's like, oh, that this will solve probably a lot of your problems. Yeah, that aggressive one that makes sense, because like, yeah, aggressive being aggressive like is one of the more effective ways to straight up, going to quote, get things done. Like where, you know how like a situation where, yeah, let me let my subordinate take lead. Oh yeah make some feel value ball that stuff just on that small level, you know, so as far as building little I'd say that's a cool thing to kind of remember to do if he can't I'd say that's a cool kind of thing to remember to All right, thank you Next question joko me But the question was about, you know, in this day and age, when men and it was one of those like men like type things. And maybe some strategy they use to do XYZ can be super small If you let them know that you remembered like in the future later on when you see me again you say I remembered what you said Last week, you know, tired in this And we all see it once people's digging into their opinion, you know, and saying all kinds of weird wacky stuff to try to defend yourself and yourself and you're like, it's not what we're talking about kind of thing. But anyway, the wife's all good looking now, people are like, people at the store, like, complimenting her and all this stuff. I personally like both, I like to, especially with my son like being strong and stuff, he really likes that. So just because you reveal like, hey, I know this is what you're like or whether you reveal or not doesn't matter when someone has that characteristic, then you can utilize that characteristic. So to direct thing, we'd like to be, or when people are direct to us, it makes things easier for us, you know, but doesn't. But sometimes, it's almost like, it's almost like they have this tone of like dang. Because like, again, like back to the, it's not like, you're not doing it with malicious intent. What do you recommend to men that feel that way, that feel isolated and feel alone and feel depressed and feel like they don't have meaning in their life and feel like they can't connect with anyone. He's detaining like if an animal's like hesitant, you know. But hey, yeah, chocolate, that sounds like good advice and then no go like back to work. I'm going to work with a company that like, you know, what we really need help, what's we just need to really learn to be direct with each other. You're going to be like, when you're playing, when you're warming up before practices and stuff like that, you're throwing it hard. You know, like an animal who's wrong, you know. It's like when you got a guy getting ready for an MMA fight and they get cut, they weren't wearing head gear and it's like, look, I get it, but that was dumb. You know, I'm like working so hard and down this tunnel that I can't look out of the tunnel kind of thing. It's like, hey, we just going to tell the total radical transparency or something like that. And if you make someone take lead in a situation and it's kind of like that concept of taking an extreme ownership and then what if they do like say, yeah,

Most common words

Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is jockel podcast number 184 with echo Charles and me
[00:00:05] Jockel willic good evening echo did evening
[00:00:08] It's been a while since we've done some Q&A and there's been a lot of questions
[00:00:14] So let's get into it ready to go into it. Okay question number one jockel
[00:00:20] I'm having issues
[00:00:22] Playing the game quote unquote at work. I'm quiet and friendly
[00:00:26] But I prefer to work hard rather than stand out in talk
[00:00:30] I found I have trouble forming more personal connections with my boss and co-workers
[00:00:36] What are your tips?
[00:00:40] So look when I talk about playing the game
[00:00:43] I'm not talking about the fact that you have to change your entire personality
[00:00:46] profile
[00:00:48] To start to connect with people that's not what I'm saying you don't have to go from being someone that's
[00:00:53] What they say quiet and friendly you don't have to become some chatty extraver
[00:00:59] Run it around making small talk with anybody and
[00:01:03] On top of that there's a little bit of a statement here that says you know
[00:01:08] I'd rather work hard as if
[00:01:11] There's these are mutually exclusive things which they are certainly not
[00:01:15] So this being forming relationships with people and playing the game does not interfere with your work at all
[00:01:21] Not saying that you sit around and talk when there's work to be done
[00:01:25] but
[00:01:27] There's gonna be natural breaks in whatever you're doing
[00:01:31] There's gonna be moments where skip the action pauses and you get a chance to connect with somebody
[00:01:36] So that's fine. So so what are some tips?
[00:01:40] That how would you do this?
[00:01:42] So I thought about this
[00:01:44] of
[00:01:46] You want to start with something small right?
[00:01:47] But you want to engage this is the key point. I don't just want to throw something at you
[00:01:52] I don't want to talk at you and besides
[00:01:56] when
[00:01:57] It's much easier just to let someone talk about themselves
[00:02:01] So the what I'm what my advice in this particular question is is to
[00:02:07] Tell them
[00:02:08] Something about yourself like something minor about yourself
[00:02:11] But then that kind of ties into something that you can ask them
[00:02:15] And then they can talk to you because most people like to talk about themselves
[00:02:20] So you ask them a question about themselves
[00:02:23] And then you go so you know something something
[00:02:26] Maybe something slightly related to work so it's not just some random
[00:02:30] Statement that you're making you know you say you know what we did it?
[00:02:34] Yesterday at work you reminded me of
[00:02:39] Something right it reminded me of something else and then
[00:02:42] Maybe it reminded me of a movie
[00:02:45] You know what we were doing yesterday reminding me of this movie have you seen that movie?
[00:02:49] And at least you're gonna get well no because I don't watch a lot of movies or no I haven't seen that movie or
[00:02:55] Oh, I've seen that movie. We've just a popular movie but you know what I mean?
[00:02:58] And all of a sudden you've got a little bit of
[00:03:01] Conversation going and that's all we're looking for
[00:03:04] We're not looking to turn into like chatty caddy
[00:03:07] We're just trying to build
[00:03:09] Build relationships with people so you know who they are so they they know who you are
[00:03:13] That's what we're talking about now think crazy start small build from there
[00:03:19] Pretty straightforward yeah and and through that building process what I kind of found is one
[00:03:26] And I guess maybe this is a little tactical thing you can kind of throw out whenever but you know
[00:03:30] And you know when people
[00:03:32] Give you advice or they tell you something about themself that something I don't know whatever whatever the story is right
[00:03:37] And maybe some strategy they use to do XYZ can be super small
[00:03:41] If you let them know that you remembered like in the future later on when you see me again you say I remembered what you said
[00:03:48] Last week, you know, tired in this yeah and just say you are all the
[00:03:53] Can be the smallest of that purple belt to jitsu mental jiu jitsu I like it
[00:03:58] It can be the smallest thing and it just makes you feel good so that that person will just
[00:04:04] Essentially feel more open with you like oh my gosh
[00:04:11] Oh yeah make some feel value ball that stuff just on that small level, you know, so as far as building little
[00:04:18] I'd say that's a cool thing to kind of remember to do if he can't I'd say that's a cool kind of thing to remember to
[00:04:23] All right, thank you
[00:04:26] Next question joko me I asked your advice for addressing a cowboy quote. I'm quote mentality among
[00:04:32] Teams working in dangerous environments how would you shift the culture to kill complacency to aggressively identify and mitigate risk
[00:04:41] As a point of professional pride
[00:04:44] Okay
[00:04:46] This is something that we'll definitely saw in the seal team seat all the time in the civilian sector
[00:04:51] You know construction companies power companies companies where people are doing dangerous work right
[00:04:56] Policeing fire finding anything anything that has any element of danger you you definitely see this and and
[00:05:03] Like I said certainly so on the seal teams and the answer to this is a comedy answer for many leadership situations is you have to explain why
[00:05:11] So let me put it in a little context what you have to do is you have to say hey let me explain to you what happens
[00:05:18] When someone gets hurt or injured on this job. Okay first of all we get the loss of that person on the job
[00:05:24] The job that we're working on the project that we're working on it falls back
[00:05:29] There's paperwork that has to be filed which by the way the paperwork hurts the progress of our project as well
[00:05:34] Our budgets impacted because now we got to bring someone else on board we got to trade him
[00:05:38] We we take a reputational hit as a company
[00:05:43] Right what what kind of what kind of a company can't do a job without getting someone hurt right
[00:05:49] I'm gonna this isn't a high bar it's not a very high bar to say hey can you complete this task without getting someone injured
[00:05:58] Yeah, and all of a sudden we got a we got a we got a hey you know in our company
[00:06:01] We don't we get a lot of people hurt well. What does that tell you about the company?
[00:06:04] It's a reputational hit who are you gonna hire you're not gonna hire the one that's got people getting hurt all the time
[00:06:09] So there's that
[00:06:12] And what does that do what does that do to your reputation in terms of everything else because if you're gonna
[00:06:17] A bunch of people hurt how can I expect you to keep your timelines how can I expect you to stay on budget so
[00:06:26] It's those things it's those that kind of reputation that you get
[00:06:31] If you are getting people hurt and then also
[00:06:34] What does it do what does it say about your team if you got people getting hurt and again?
[00:06:39] This is what I'm talking about as a conversation that you're having with the group with the team
[00:06:43] You're saying look what kind of a team are we if we got people getting hurt?
[00:06:46] What does that say about us? It says where lack lacks of musical it says we're complacent it says we don't pay attention
[00:06:52] What does it say about our leadership
[00:06:54] If we got guys getting hurt what does that say about our leadership?
[00:06:57] Says we don't care about our people which by the way says we don't care about our people
[00:07:00] It means says we don't care about our job
[00:07:02] It says we don't care about our reputation says we don't we just don't damn care
[00:07:07] And what does it say about you the individual?
[00:07:10] Well, you know what it says about you an individual.
[00:07:13] If you get hurt, you know what it says about you,
[00:07:15] you're a knucklehead and you got hurt.
[00:07:17] You couldn't follow the procedures.
[00:07:18] You didn't follow the procedures.
[00:07:19] You thought you were smart and you got complacent.
[00:07:21] Now you got hurt.
[00:07:23] So these are the things.
[00:07:26] When I talk about explaining why those are where I'm gonna start
[00:07:31] and now I'm gonna explain and connect the dots
[00:07:34] so that the person the individual see
[00:07:36] that someone getting hurt is actually the least professional
[00:07:42] thing that you can do from a leadership perspective.
[00:07:45] If I let one of my guys get hurt,
[00:07:46] that's just that's just
[00:07:49] the least professional thing I can do from an individual
[00:07:52] contributor perspective.
[00:07:54] If I'm getting hurt, guess what?
[00:07:56] I didn't follow, but you just,
[00:07:58] okay, look, are there accidents that happened yesterday?
[00:08:00] But what I'm saying is if you got an accident
[00:08:02] that could have been prevented that should have been prevented
[00:08:05] and I as an individual let it happen,
[00:08:07] that is absolutely my fault.
[00:08:09] It's like when you got a guy getting ready for an MMA fight
[00:08:11] and they get cut, they weren't wearing head gear
[00:08:15] and it's like, look, I get it, but that was dumb.
[00:08:20] And I've had that happen.
[00:08:21] I mean, I've had it happen with my fighters.
[00:08:23] I've seen it happen all kinds of happens
[00:08:24] and you have to see all the time, right?
[00:08:26] You've got to fight coming up.
[00:08:28] You're gonna fight for the title.
[00:08:30] For the UFC title, you're gonna make possibly millions of dollars.
[00:08:34] You're gonna be the champion of the world.
[00:08:36] Oh, two weeks out, got a cut, got a cut on my head,
[00:08:40] you had a bad, you know, boo out my ACL,
[00:08:43] doing take down the fence, right?
[00:08:46] Look, I get an accident's happened,
[00:08:47] but what was really happening right at that moment?
[00:08:49] Was it a random accident or we were doing something
[00:08:51] that we shouldn't have been doing?
[00:08:53] So if we start to lean towards look,
[00:08:56] having accidents is actually an unprofessional thing to do.
[00:09:01] It's a weak thing to do.
[00:09:03] It's a bad thing to do.
[00:09:05] When we let it happen, it hurts everyone,
[00:09:07] not just the individual involved.
[00:09:09] That's the attitude that we kind of come with.
[00:09:13] You know, I had the, in the Navy, you have like alcohol programs.
[00:09:21] So, hey, this is our program for, you know,
[00:09:24] alcohol, here's how we're trying to combat
[00:09:26] having the people have alcohol related incident.
[00:09:29] And when I was a trade-it, they had
[00:09:31] someone come in to like give us a talk about alcohol.
[00:09:36] And then when they got done, the guy says,
[00:09:40] okay, you know, sir, I was the guy in charge of you
[00:09:42] is what's your alcohol policy?
[00:09:46] And I didn't have one.
[00:09:48] And I didn't have one.
[00:09:49] And I was like, okay, hey, cool, I'll come up with one.
[00:09:52] Here's the alcohol policy.
[00:09:54] If you get hurt, or sorry, if you get drunk
[00:09:58] and you can't, if you get drunk and you get in trouble
[00:10:02] or you get in a fight or you get arrested
[00:10:03] or you get a DUI and you take time away
[00:10:06] from being deployable, you are doing
[00:10:09] alchitis job for them.
[00:10:11] There's the alcohol policy.
[00:10:14] So now, Alvison, it's not like, hey, cool,
[00:10:16] we're like, yeah, raw raw.
[00:10:20] No, Alvison, hey, man, do we want to help the enemy
[00:10:23] by taking ourselves off the battlefield?
[00:10:26] There's nothing more that Alchitis wants
[00:10:28] than for this seal to be arrested for DUI and non-deployable.
[00:10:34] You just did Alchitis job for you.
[00:10:36] So that's the kind of thing that I'm gonna build
[00:10:40] the culture around.
[00:10:42] And that's the same thing you can do with people
[00:10:43] that have that cowboy mentality.
[00:10:45] You shift it so that that cowboy mentality
[00:10:48] becomes the thing that hurts our reputation,
[00:10:50] that hurts our, that hurts the company reputation
[00:10:53] and it hurts our individual personal reputation.
[00:10:56] As a man, I couldn't even prevent my shift
[00:11:03] from getting, from having someone get injured.
[00:11:06] So that's what I do.
[00:11:07] You know, like it feeds into their professional pride,
[00:11:10] especially when you use the word unprofessional.
[00:11:13] No, yeah.
[00:11:14] You know, like a man's to be that, yeah, man,
[00:11:16] I knew you knew what you're doing on that one.
[00:11:18] And then on the flip side, if you say consummate professional,
[00:11:22] right?
[00:11:23] Ooh, that's a good one.
[00:11:23] If you're, man, you could do,
[00:11:26] it doesn't even matter the job.
[00:11:27] You can, you can have your own lawn mowing business
[00:11:31] when you're 13 years old.
[00:11:33] If someone says, hey, that guy,
[00:11:35] that kid's a consummate professional,
[00:11:37] you're like, hell yeah.
[00:11:38] Hell yeah.
[00:11:39] I'm gonna have to push back a little bit.
[00:11:41] I don't know if there's two people,
[00:11:43] I don't know if there's two many situations where you would say
[00:11:45] a 13 year old lawn mower.
[00:11:47] Now we know that Mark, the way that we're here kid
[00:11:49] is heavily involved in lawn mowing
[00:11:51] with Mark's meticulous mowing.
[00:11:52] Yes, yes, sir.
[00:11:53] But even, I don't even know if I'd call him a consummate professional,
[00:11:58] I wouldn't either, but if you were to work in the yard,
[00:12:02] if you were to do so, Mark would feel really good.
[00:12:04] If you said, yes, what I'm saying is you can't be
[00:12:06] just throwing words around.
[00:12:07] Yeah, that's okay.
[00:12:08] You can't just throw around consummate professional
[00:12:10] about lawn mowing mowing mowing mowing mowing mowing mowing.
[00:12:12] But now let's say the guy was a greenskeeper,
[00:12:15] like on a golf course.
[00:12:16] Now that person could be a consummate professional,
[00:12:19] because he's got to dial stuff.
[00:12:20] And then maybe I guess you get to a certain level
[00:12:23] of just straight landscaping, where, oh, you know what?
[00:12:26] There was a water, there was the pipe exploded.
[00:12:29] Oh, Jockel came in.
[00:12:31] He had that whole thing resorted, receded,
[00:12:34] took him four hours.
[00:12:35] That guy is a consummate professional.
[00:12:38] So I guess I'll take it back.
[00:12:39] Well, I'm just saying, reserve it, reserve it.
[00:12:41] Don't play with it, yeah.
[00:12:42] Don't play with it.
[00:12:43] Fine, that thing around.
[00:12:44] Yeah, exactly right.
[00:12:46] Makes sense.
[00:12:47] Well, the, the draft man that that was very clever
[00:12:53] on your part.
[00:12:54] What was it?
[00:12:55] When you said you're doing okay, does job for you?
[00:12:57] Because think about it.
[00:12:58] I mean, you know, there's nothing worse for a guy
[00:13:01] in the military.
[00:13:02] Your personal right is you are actually helping the enemy
[00:13:05] right now.
[00:13:06] Yeah.
[00:13:07] And then how you say it, like you name names, you know?
[00:13:09] It's not like you said the enemy, which I get,
[00:13:11] that's good too.
[00:13:11] But it's way better to be like you're doing
[00:13:13] and you name the, because JPU will say that too, right?
[00:13:16] Where he'll be like, um, there was a sign or something
[00:13:19] about a sign or maybe he'll just say it.
[00:13:20] He'll be like, you're, your enemy thinks you for not
[00:13:22] giving 100% today.
[00:13:23] Yeah.
[00:13:23] Right.
[00:13:23] Remember that one?
[00:13:24] And it's good.
[00:13:25] That's a good one.
[00:13:25] And it sounds cool too.
[00:13:26] I get it.
[00:13:27] But it is real general.
[00:13:29] So you hear that 10 times or every day or whatever.
[00:13:32] Like, okay, cool.
[00:13:32] It sounds cool, but it won't really affect your
[00:13:35] professional pride all the time.
[00:13:37] Sometimes it doesn't.
[00:13:38] But if you name the enemy, you know, like if you have
[00:13:41] some adversary, you know, and they thank you that person
[00:13:44] whatever, John Smith, you know,
[00:13:46] for not giving 100, you know, you might feed into you.
[00:13:49] So you say in Al Qaeda, thanks you, you know,
[00:13:51] for getting arrested.
[00:13:52] Some like, amen.
[00:13:53] Think about it from the flip side, right?
[00:13:55] What if you think of like an Al Qaeda fighting team, right?
[00:13:59] And one of them gets cut like one of their effective
[00:14:03] fighters gets caught.
[00:14:04] I don't know, doing something that they don't like gambling.
[00:14:07] Going to strip club.
[00:14:08] I don't know.
[00:14:08] Whatever.
[00:14:09] And they say, hey, you're not allowed to fight anymore
[00:14:11] for us.
[00:14:12] So he gets like exiled or whatever.
[00:14:14] Oh, that's sweet. We want them to do that.
[00:14:17] We might have to send them some strip of recommendation.
[00:14:20] You see what I'm saying?
[00:14:21] So it's literally, he's you're literally doing that.
[00:14:23] Yeah.
[00:14:23] Literally.
[00:14:25] Yeah, that's good.
[00:14:26] Jerk.
[00:14:27] Jerk.
[00:14:28] You clever.
[00:14:29] Clever.
[00:14:29] Good.
[00:14:30] Shh.
[00:14:31] Shh.
[00:14:33] All right.
[00:14:34] Next question.
[00:14:35] Hi, Jockel.
[00:14:36] You answered a question about complainers and said you would
[00:14:39] listen to the because, well, it should be
[00:14:42] listen to them.
[00:14:43] Yeah. You said you would listen to them because you
[00:14:45] can learn what the problems are.
[00:14:48] I like it.
[00:14:49] And people like to be heard.
[00:14:50] But how do you handle chronic complainers?
[00:14:53] The type of people who become cancerous,
[00:14:55] a meat fanics of extreme ownership should take.
[00:14:58] Thanks for your time.
[00:15:00] Yeah, this is a cause once again for my favorite.
[00:15:04] My favorite general remedy in leadership situations
[00:15:09] is you take this person and you put him in charge.
[00:15:11] Put him in charge?
[00:15:12] Yeah.
[00:15:13] And this is one of those classic things where someone says,
[00:15:15] hey, why are we even doing it this way?
[00:15:18] And you say, oh, echo, you don't like that cool.
[00:15:20] Why don't you come up with a plan and you go execute it?
[00:15:21] How do you want?
[00:15:23] Yeah.
[00:15:24] And that does one or two things either they say, OK.
[00:15:28] And they step up and then they have to figure out how hard the
[00:15:30] job the task is and they have to get it done.
[00:15:33] And it's they learn from it and they get humbled by it.
[00:15:36] And they recognize the the the burden of responsibility that
[00:15:41] a leader actually has, which is all good or they just say, no, no,
[00:15:45] and they stop playing because they don't want to get
[00:15:46] tested.
[00:15:47] Now, what what you got to be careful with it,
[00:15:50] all these answers that I give, you could go like in the wrong direction.
[00:15:58] So what I mean by that is echo says, hey, I don't like
[00:16:01] we're doing the way we're doing this.
[00:16:02] And I go, OK, well, then you're in charge.
[00:16:04] Yeah.
[00:16:05] You know what I mean?
[00:16:06] I do it like that.
[00:16:07] It's a punishment.
[00:16:08] It's a punitive thing.
[00:16:09] And absolutely not what I'm talking about.
[00:16:11] I say, you know what echo?
[00:16:13] You're pointing out some good stuff.
[00:16:14] You're pointing out some definite shortfalls in the way that this is happening.
[00:16:18] I'll tell you what, why don't you actually just take responsibility for this
[00:16:21] and you can run this task and you can make this happen.
[00:16:23] Because I think, you know, just based on some of the things you've pointed
[00:16:26] out already, I mean, call them complaints.
[00:16:28] Based on some of the things you pointed out already, I think you could
[00:16:30] probably improve upon our process quite a bit.
[00:16:34] So you got to be careful.
[00:16:35] I'm not talking about being a jerk to someone.
[00:16:38] Yeah.
[00:16:38] I'm talking about action.
[00:16:40] And this is the thing.
[00:16:41] It's like there's this thing.
[00:16:45] Well, what I'm doing, I'm not just playing the game.
[00:16:49] Have I ever told this in GJJ?
[00:16:50] I'm like, hey, if you want to set me up with the choke so that you can get my arm,
[00:16:56] you have to actually do the choke.
[00:16:58] You have to actually apply the pressure.
[00:17:00] If you know to apply the pressure, I'm not defending it.
[00:17:01] My arm's not going to go where you want it.
[00:17:02] You have to actually do it.
[00:17:04] And if I don't defend it the way you expect me to, then you just choke me.
[00:17:08] It's the same thing here.
[00:17:09] I'm not saying you just say, well, what don't you do with that?
[00:17:11] No, you have to actually say, hey, listen, I think this is what's going on.
[00:17:16] I think you have some good points.
[00:17:18] Why don't you take lead on this and we'll see if you can remedy this situation.
[00:17:23] Because I think you've got a pretty good chance of doing it.
[00:17:25] This isn't, I'm not doing this as a punitive thing.
[00:17:27] I'm doing it because it's the best thing for the team.
[00:17:29] You've got a legitimate complaint.
[00:17:30] You've got a bunch of them.
[00:17:32] Let's get you in a position where you can sort some of those things out.
[00:17:36] So yeah, so that's that.
[00:17:40] We can get people that are complaining, you know, first of all, hear them out.
[00:17:43] And maybe that's good enough, right?
[00:17:45] Hey, listen to them.
[00:17:47] And once again, I'm not saying you listen to them while your brain is elsewhere and you're
[00:17:51] not thinking, are you actually listening what they're saying?
[00:17:53] You're engaged.
[00:17:54] You really do go for the choke.
[00:17:56] Go for it.
[00:17:57] Listen to what they're saying.
[00:17:58] Maybe there's some solutions you can come up with.
[00:18:00] But then if that doesn't work and even after they even after you listen to them and
[00:18:03] you explain to them why things aren't the way they want, they still want to complain
[00:18:07] it.
[00:18:08] Complain about it.
[00:18:09] Cool.
[00:18:10] That's fine.
[00:18:11] Awesome.
[00:18:12] You take lead on this and that way you can sort out some of these issues.
[00:18:13] Appreciate it.
[00:18:14] Kind of like Leipzig, that one time is kind of hard to complain about a plan when it's
[00:18:18] your plan.
[00:18:19] Yeah, that is the truth.
[00:18:20] Yeah, makes sense.
[00:18:21] God, I'm so stupid.
[00:18:23] Yeah, let's get in sucks that I came up with.
[00:18:27] Yeah, the chronic complaining because you could kind of, I mean, people complain a lot.
[00:18:37] It's easy to be like, oh, they're chronic complainers.
[00:18:41] But if there's constantly, we'll say chronic problems that might induce chronic complaining.
[00:18:46] I'm not saying that's the case.
[00:18:47] Obviously because I know that there is.
[00:18:49] So it's doing this chronic complainers 100%.
[00:18:53] But at the very least, like I say, oh, yeah, I put them in charge of something or
[00:18:56] listen to them and they'll point, listen to what they're complaining about or whatever.
[00:19:00] You might actually get turned on to all these solvable problems.
[00:19:05] And if you make someone take lead in a situation and it's kind of like that concept of
[00:19:12] taking an extreme ownership and then what if they do like say, yeah, it is your fault.
[00:19:16] And then you get all mad.
[00:19:17] You know, kind of thing is like, oh, you didn't really do that.
[00:19:20] It's like, so if you put someone else in charge of something, you're really putting
[00:19:23] them in charge.
[00:19:24] But if they run, what if they take lead and they solve all the problems?
[00:19:27] And they don't awesome, right?
[00:19:28] Yeah, exactly.
[00:19:29] So you don't treat this action or this discourse as like something to get back at the
[00:19:34] complaint.
[00:19:35] It's not just a setup.
[00:19:36] It's a real move.
[00:19:37] It's a real deal.
[00:19:39] And you know, that's, you just made this point that I made, which is one of the best leadership
[00:19:50] tools that is completely overlooked by people all the time.
[00:19:53] This is very, very simple to do.
[00:19:55] And that's just to listen to what people are saying.
[00:19:59] I know it sounds crazy, but I run into all the time, leaders in all kinds of levels,
[00:20:04] all kinds of situations.
[00:20:05] And the biggest problem they have is they don't even listen to anyone else.
[00:20:08] They won't listen.
[00:20:09] Yeah.
[00:20:10] So when you're in a leadership position, try this.
[00:20:14] Be quiet and listen to what people are saying.
[00:20:16] Listen to what they're complaining about.
[00:20:18] Listen to what suggestions they have.
[00:20:20] Listen to what advice they give.
[00:20:22] Listen to their recommendations.
[00:20:24] Listen, just listen sometimes.
[00:20:27] You're going to be in a much better spot.
[00:20:29] Yeah.
[00:20:30] And even like you saying that out loud sounds real obvious, you know?
[00:20:32] But it's, man, it's not.
[00:20:34] Because even a lot of times, like if you don't listen, I'm thinking of myself, like all
[00:20:37] the many trillions, trillions of times that I haven't listened when I should have.
[00:20:44] Most of the time, most of the time we'll say, I don't mean to not listen.
[00:20:48] I don't mean to be like, it's not like I'm hearing noise and be like, oh, you don't
[00:20:53] know what you're talking about.
[00:20:54] You're dumb.
[00:20:55] You know, what you say doesn't mean anything.
[00:20:56] It's not that.
[00:20:57] It's more that I'm like, focus so hard on what I'm thinking or my way or whatever.
[00:21:02] Like I'm just so just, of course, naturally, it's my kind of thinking about it for years.
[00:21:06] No, you know, kind of thing.
[00:21:07] So I'm so, basically, dug into myself on my own thing that I'm not.
[00:21:12] And I'm just not paying attention that much.
[00:21:14] You know, I'm like working so hard and down this tunnel that I can't look out of the
[00:21:19] tunnel kind of thing.
[00:21:21] So you don't really mean to, but when you're in the situation, it's like, it's not that
[00:21:25] easy.
[00:21:26] It's, and you know what it is, also, it's a detachment.
[00:21:30] Right?
[00:21:31] Because when you're talking, you're talking.
[00:21:33] Yeah.
[00:21:34] And I've got to step back to touch.
[00:21:35] Listen to what people are saying.
[00:21:36] I do this all the time.
[00:21:37] I do this all the time.
[00:21:38] It's such a, it's such an easy move.
[00:21:41] Yeah.
[00:21:42] If you remember, move, you just watch.
[00:21:44] You just listen, even like, can you just do you do this?
[00:21:47] You're like, oh, the person wants to move around a bunch.
[00:21:48] Cool.
[00:21:49] Let him move around a bunch.
[00:21:50] Let's see where they're going.
[00:21:51] I'm just going to listen to their moves.
[00:21:52] And that's a good way to put it, man.
[00:21:54] Just listen to their moves.
[00:21:56] Just listen.
[00:21:57] And yeah, if you primarily focus on that listening, then like you have to be able to do it
[00:22:02] way better.
[00:22:03] Because like, again, like back to the, it's not like, you're not doing it with malicious intent.
[00:22:08] You know, you're not shutting them down.
[00:22:10] It's almost like every, you like, interruptors, right?
[00:22:12] You know, chronic interruptors.
[00:22:13] Yes.
[00:22:14] So the time, some of the time, a lot of time, whatever.
[00:22:17] We'll say half of the time estimate there.
[00:22:19] It doesn't feel like they're doing it because they don't want to hear what you have to
[00:22:22] say.
[00:22:23] Sometimes it's that for sure.
[00:22:24] But sometimes, it's almost like, it's almost like they have this tone of like
[00:22:28] dang.
[00:22:29] I don't think I finished my point as good as I wanted to almost it's doing it for them for
[00:22:33] them for themselves.
[00:22:34] Because they're so committed to their message and what they've been thinking
[00:22:36] the whole time.
[00:22:37] And if you're not signing right onto it, it's man, I must not set it clear enough.
[00:22:41] You see, I'm saying I had to like tighten up my kid.
[00:22:44] It's on just straight.
[00:22:46] They just wouldn't let each other talk.
[00:22:48] It just interrupt interrupt interrupt.
[00:22:50] Yeah.
[00:22:51] I think it was, yeah, it was my son for sure.
[00:22:53] And he looked at me and he goes, he's like, he says, Dad, you and he just be a
[00:22:57] aggressive or whole wife.
[00:22:58] And now all of a sudden you're telling us just a sit back.
[00:23:00] That was funny.
[00:23:04] Did you tell him that that's the day economy?
[00:23:06] I said that's the day economy.
[00:23:07] I know he's gross.
[00:23:08] Yeah.
[00:23:09] All right.
[00:23:10] Next question.
[00:23:11] What is the most important issue?
[00:23:14] You've ever changed your mind about.
[00:23:21] This is, you know, this is one of those things where I'm, this is one of those questions
[00:23:26] where I should have like some answer about some specific subject or something.
[00:23:33] You know what I mean?
[00:23:34] Like I can see, I know what answer is desired.
[00:23:37] I know what type of answers is desired.
[00:23:39] But the reality is, you know, for me, to taking ownership of things, right?
[00:23:48] This wasn't really like I changed my mind to where, when I used to say, I'm going to blame
[00:23:54] everyone and then all of a sudden, you know what?
[00:23:56] That's not the right policy to have.
[00:23:57] I need to start to extreme ownership.
[00:23:59] I didn't do that.
[00:24:01] But it was just a thing that built and developed inside my brain.
[00:24:06] And I think it's the most important thing that I've ever sort of recognized or conclusion
[00:24:13] that I've come to.
[00:24:14] That's not a change.
[00:24:15] But I'm sure at some point my attitude wasn't like I'll just take ownership of that.
[00:24:20] Which is now.
[00:24:21] But at some point, you know, I'd say, well, that's not really my responsibility.
[00:24:23] You know what I mean?
[00:24:24] Of course.
[00:24:25] No, that's a natural thing to say.
[00:24:28] And I'll tell you, well, the next, and this is interesting.
[00:24:32] But the other, and this one's kind of more of a, more of a, I can pin it down a little
[00:24:38] bit closer to an answer that someone would like.
[00:24:40] And this is, again, it's going to be a little bit, a little bit strange.
[00:24:46] But the other thing is the dichotomy of leadership.
[00:24:50] And this is the thing about the dichotomy of leadership.
[00:24:53] And I actually was thinking, I actually didn't really recognize this until the last
[00:24:57] master.
[00:24:58] I know, as I was thinking about the dichotomy of leadership, maybe it was off of a question.
[00:25:01] Maybe, I think it was actually before, no actually was before we even started.
[00:25:04] I was just like reviewing notes and thinking about the dichotomy of leadership.
[00:25:09] And one of the most important things about the dichotomy of leadership is that the reason,
[00:25:18] the reason that I came to the conclusion, the reason that I got to the dichotomy of
[00:25:22] leadership, we're in getting there.
[00:25:24] Let me rephrase that.
[00:25:25] In getting to a point where I said, there's a dichotomy of leadership, what I had to do
[00:25:30] was I had to admit to myself that I was wrong about everything.
[00:25:36] That's what I had to do.
[00:25:39] In order for the idea of the dichotomy of leadership to escape my brain, to get out,
[00:25:46] to become a full thought.
[00:25:49] What I had to do, I had to admit to myself that I was actually wrong about everything.
[00:25:56] So I'll give you real easy examples, one of my things that I used to tell guys all the
[00:26:00] time.
[00:26:01] You got to be aggressive.
[00:26:05] You got to be aggressive.
[00:26:06] That's how you got to be.
[00:26:07] In order for the dichotomy of leadership, I had to admit, you know what, sometimes being
[00:26:11] aggressive doesn't work.
[00:26:12] I used to say, you know what, as a leader, you got to stand up, you got to be loud.
[00:26:17] And then I realized you know what, there's I see leaders that are two.
[00:26:21] I didn't admit that I was wrong about that.
[00:26:23] That's sometimes that was wrong.
[00:26:25] I had to admit that I was wrong about keeping things simple.
[00:26:30] Like you know what, this is one of the most fundamental laws of combat.
[00:26:33] You got to keep things simple.
[00:26:34] And then I had to admit that sometimes people keep things too simple.
[00:26:40] Even this fact right here, right?
[00:26:42] In order to admit that I was wrong, I had to be humble.
[00:26:45] And I used to preach.
[00:26:46] And I still preach humility as being like the most important thing.
[00:26:49] But guess what?
[00:26:50] There are people.
[00:26:52] And there are even me with this, there's times and places where you can be too humble.
[00:27:00] And so this idea, this idea that there's dichotomy to everything, it's something that
[00:27:06] the original thought for me was, it came from me having one sided opinion and then realizing
[00:27:15] that, and I'm almost positive.
[00:27:17] I don't remember crystal clear, but I'm almost positive that the original thought that
[00:27:22] I realized there was a dichotomy to was being aggressive.
[00:27:27] And again, this was, this is all kind of coming to fruition as I'm teaching guys at
[00:27:32] trade at and life was running the junior officer training course.
[00:27:37] And I used to give them the soul.
[00:27:38] And I remember right and you know, I remember to say to myself, you know what, I got to tell
[00:27:41] guys that they can go too far with being aggressive and they can go too far with barking
[00:27:48] orders and they, and I just, it like that's where it came from.
[00:27:52] And if I wouldn't have been able to change my mind, right, because that's what this question
[00:27:58] was, changing my mind about something.
[00:28:00] The biggest thing probably ever in my life was understanding that just about every characteristic
[00:28:07] that a person can have, that a leader can have, can go too far and can become a negative
[00:28:12] characteristic.
[00:28:14] So that's probably the biggest thing that I've changed my mind on.
[00:28:18] Interesting.
[00:28:20] Yeah, that aggressive one that makes sense, because like, yeah, aggressive being aggressive
[00:28:26] like is one of the more effective ways to straight up, going to quote, get things done.
[00:28:30] First, right?
[00:28:31] Do it and it'll be done.
[00:28:32] Do it, you know.
[00:28:33] Don't wait.
[00:28:34] Don't hesitate.
[00:28:35] Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:36] Problem in a building, let's sit back and wait until that problem starts to know.
[00:28:40] Like you got to be aggressive.
[00:28:42] Yeah.
[00:28:43] But then if you're in judicial teaching, all kinds of lessons like this where if you're
[00:28:47] going to spring a trap on somebody or something, animal, person, whatever.
[00:28:52] What's the best type of person that you can catch with a trap?
[00:28:56] Probably an aggressive one, you know.
[00:28:59] Like they can set themselves up to get trapped if they're like aggressive.
[00:29:04] You know, like an animal who's wrong, you know.
[00:29:09] He's detaining like if an animal's like hesitant, you know.
[00:29:13] Just hesitant maybe sees things develop a little bit before they take a grab, you know,
[00:29:17] certain action or whatever, it'd be hard to detrap.
[00:29:19] Yeah.
[00:29:20] Yeah.
[00:29:21] And this is the thing that's, this is what makes humility important.
[00:29:28] It's hard to come to grips with the dichotomy of leadership because if you don't have
[00:29:34] the humility, do sometimes say, you know what, you're right.
[00:29:38] You know what, I'm wrong.
[00:29:39] Yeah.
[00:29:40] This plan isn't what I thought it should be.
[00:29:43] Yeah.
[00:29:44] It's so hard to do that.
[00:29:45] That's why it's hard to really get a grip on the dichotomy.
[00:29:48] Leadership and that's what makes it so important.
[00:29:49] That's what makes it the answer to so many questions.
[00:29:52] And sometimes people will come like, you know, someone will come up and say, they'll
[00:29:56] have their counterpoint to what I'm saying.
[00:30:01] And I'll tell you right now, let me think of a situation where you have to provide a
[00:30:07] counterpoint.
[00:30:08] If I, somebody comes to me and says, you know what, being aggressive isn't always
[00:30:12] good.
[00:30:13] Sometimes if you're aggressive, all you do is you run to your death.
[00:30:18] Now, an egotistical jacco would say negative, you're wrong.
[00:30:25] I'm right.
[00:30:26] And I would dig in in that position.
[00:30:30] And when you dig in and position, you can't maneuver anymore.
[00:30:32] So I'm actually stuck.
[00:30:34] So this is a classic thing to do.
[00:30:37] Also when I'm arguing with somebody, if you come to me and you say, I think we should
[00:30:42] do this, you know, method B.
[00:30:45] I say, I don't say no, because I think we should do a method A.
[00:30:48] That's what I think.
[00:30:49] And you think we should do a method B.
[00:30:50] You're going to be, I think we should do this method B.
[00:30:51] I think you're wrong.
[00:30:52] You know what I say?
[00:30:53] Okay.
[00:30:54] Well, I think you got some good points on method B.
[00:30:57] Oh, all of a sudden, you know, all of a sudden, we're in a totally different scenario.
[00:31:02] I just totally flipped the script on you.
[00:31:06] And I, you know what I say?
[00:31:07] I say, you know, some good points that you have.
[00:31:10] If you watch people debate, it's really a little slick move.
[00:31:16] But you don't see politicians do it, because they're so dug in, they can never think
[00:31:20] they're wrong.
[00:31:21] And they can never, and what they also are afraid of, they're afraid if they admit
[00:31:24] they're wrong about something.
[00:31:26] They look bad.
[00:31:28] Whereas if they said, you know what?
[00:31:29] That's a good point.
[00:31:31] That's actually a good point.
[00:31:32] I'm going to need to consider that.
[00:31:33] I've never really thought of that viewpoint before.
[00:31:35] You know what?
[00:31:36] I'm going to assess that.
[00:31:37] But I guess I think you got, I think there's some validity to what you just said.
[00:31:40] When's the last time you heard a politician say that?
[00:31:42] I don't, I don't think that.
[00:31:44] And then what happens is, and in this day and age, the supporters of that politician, they don't,
[00:31:52] they don't recognize the valid point either.
[00:31:55] It's just, no.
[00:31:57] No.
[00:31:58] So we get people that aren't thinking and it's very hard to hold dichotomies in your head
[00:32:05] that this can be right and that can be right.
[00:32:07] There's an aggressive approach and there's an on aggressive approach.
[00:32:09] There's an direct approach and there's an indirect approach and both of them can be functional.
[00:32:14] It's really hard to get a grip on that.
[00:32:17] And yet it's the answer to so many questions.
[00:32:20] It's the answer to the person, the subordinate that comes to you.
[00:32:24] And says, we should not be doing it this way.
[00:32:28] If your reaction isn't to diametrically opposed what they're saying, but instead to actually
[00:32:34] take their side and say, oh, I agree with you.
[00:32:36] You've got some really good points.
[00:32:38] Let's see how this would play out.
[00:32:40] Talk me through it.
[00:32:41] Yeah.
[00:32:42] You can't even, you're like, you can't even know.
[00:32:45] You know, it's like a move.
[00:32:47] It's like a jiu-jitsu move.
[00:32:50] And it works.
[00:32:51] Yeah.
[00:32:51] Yeah.
[00:32:54] So there's some things I've changed my mind on about.
[00:33:01] My mind is open though.
[00:33:03] I will change my mind if new evidence presents itself.
[00:33:07] I'll change my mind in the heartbeat.
[00:33:09] You go to do it.
[00:33:10] Present me with new evidence.
[00:33:12] What about like, well, I would think anyway after kind of thinking about it where, yeah,
[00:33:19] you, I think, I think generally speaking, we do kind of respect someone who can change their
[00:33:24] mind.
[00:33:25] And we all see it once people's digging into their opinion, you know, and saying all kinds
[00:33:29] of weird wacky stuff to try to defend yourself and yourself and you're like, it's not
[00:33:33] what we're talking about kind of thing.
[00:33:34] You see it clear.
[00:33:35] So like, it seems obvious like, yeah, you should change your mind.
[00:33:39] Or at least open up your mind and like I said, I'll give that some consideration.
[00:33:44] I'll look into it.
[00:33:45] And if you're right, shoot, I think you're right.
[00:33:47] I think that's a better way to do it or whatever, whatever the case is.
[00:33:51] But the, and then I guess technically this is a dichotomy too where you can't do that
[00:33:55] too much because if you're always changing your mind with, like, you know, like, like,
[00:33:59] I don't know, we'll see a politician.
[00:34:01] Yeah.
[00:34:02] Every time the opposing view or some other view comes in, you're like, hey, I didn't look
[00:34:06] at it like that.
[00:34:07] Or I didn't, maybe I'll look back and look into that more.
[00:34:09] We'll do it again.
[00:34:10] And again, and again, it's like, Brad, does this guy know anything?
[00:34:12] Because guess where you're talking about?
[00:34:15] What?
[00:34:16] There's a dichotomy.
[00:34:17] And if you go too far and you change your opinion all the time and then you become
[00:34:21] indecisive, and so that doesn't work.
[00:34:23] But if you're so, if you're the other side of this spectrum and you're completely dug in
[00:34:26] and you never change your mind, that doesn't work either.
[00:34:29] Where you need to do?
[00:34:29] What do you need to do?
[00:34:30] You need to balance the dichotomy between being flexible and inflexible.
[00:34:34] If you become ultra flexible, you're just going with whatever anyone's saying, that's
[00:34:38] not good.
[00:34:40] You need to find the middle ground.
[00:34:41] That's what dichotomy and leadership is.
[00:34:44] But it's hard for people to comprehend that.
[00:34:47] It's hard for people to see that where they draw that line.
[00:34:52] Yes, that's a thing for the general.
[00:34:54] I'll never change my opinion on this.
[00:34:57] Okay.
[00:34:58] You just told me where you stand.
[00:34:59] Yeah, I'm not sure I like that very much.
[00:35:01] Because new information can come to light.
[00:35:05] Yeah, that's where they stand in that dichotomy or whatever.
[00:35:10] Because I think part of it, and it's part of it is like, yeah, they don't want to be
[00:35:14] wishy-washy.
[00:35:16] But the other part, or the other part of that is, I'm saying if they always change their
[00:35:19] mind over there, so easily to be like, okay, maybe we'll do it.
[00:35:22] You're way, way to the farmer.
[00:35:23] Yeah, I think they come off like they don't know anything.
[00:35:26] For sure.
[00:35:27] So if you don't know anything, should you even be in that position?
[00:35:29] Like, I don't want you to be the congressman.
[00:35:32] If you don't know anything kind of thing, right?
[00:35:34] That's the feeling.
[00:35:35] So, and now with that, that's the feeling that people are trying to avoid when they
[00:35:40] dig in.
[00:35:41] They don't want to admit they're wrong.
[00:35:42] Because if I admit, I'm wrong.
[00:35:43] I didn't know.
[00:35:44] You know, kind of thing.
[00:35:45] So it's like, no, bro, you don't draw the line right there.
[00:35:48] You draw the line couple steps down the road.
[00:35:51] Be open a little bit.
[00:35:52] If you're somewhere to maneuver.
[00:35:53] Yeah, again.
[00:35:54] Yeah.
[00:35:55] I'm just going to maneuver.
[00:35:58] Next question.
[00:36:00] How does one detach when getting personally attacked and take extreme ownership with false
[00:36:06] claims?
[00:36:08] And what does one do when a subordinate always goes above the chain of command instead of
[00:36:12] working out issues with the code worker?
[00:36:15] Okay, this is in the clearest question that I've ever received.
[00:36:19] I'm going to try and, I'm not sure if I complete the understanding, but I'm going to try
[00:36:22] and sort of answer to the best of my ability.
[00:36:26] I think what we're talking about here is that someone is telling me that something
[00:36:29] gets my fault and that is a false claim.
[00:36:33] Is that, that's the question, right?
[00:36:35] I think you're making a false claim and saying, like, this is your responsibility,
[00:36:39] Marco, you were supposed to press record.
[00:36:43] And it's false because I wasn't supposed to press record.
[00:36:46] Yeah.
[00:36:47] Right, let's say.
[00:36:48] Yeah.
[00:36:49] Or maybe like, record was pressed.
[00:36:52] Like, there's no issue.
[00:36:54] You know?
[00:36:55] Well, then why would you, why would that become a personal attack?
[00:36:59] Yeah.
[00:37:00] I guess it wouldn't.
[00:37:01] So the personal attack is, Chaco, you didn't press record.
[00:37:05] And now the question is, what do I do then?
[00:37:07] Because we both know who's in charge of press record here.
[00:37:10] Yeah.
[00:37:11] Who is me?
[00:37:12] Okay, so you're in charge of press record.
[00:37:15] If you all of a sudden we are 40 minutes into a podcast and we haven't pressed record, the
[00:37:21] record has button has been pressed and all of a sudden it comes to light.
[00:37:26] And you say, Chaco, you didn't press record.
[00:37:29] Now what this person is saying, that's a false claim.
[00:37:32] Gotcha.
[00:37:33] That's not my responsibility.
[00:37:34] It's truly not my responsibility.
[00:37:35] I'm not going to actually, I should I be doing that.
[00:37:38] And you know what I'm going to say?
[00:37:40] You know what I'm going to say.
[00:37:41] Yes, right, too.
[00:37:42] Which is, you know what?
[00:37:43] It is my responsibility.
[00:37:45] Because I'm here.
[00:37:46] It's primarily my voice that's being recorded.
[00:37:49] And from now on, I will make sure that it's recorded.
[00:37:51] It's my fault.
[00:37:52] I will take care of it from now on.
[00:37:54] By the way, now what is your job responsibilities in this whole podcast?
[00:37:58] Nothing.
[00:37:59] Nothing.
[00:38:00] You have nothing to do.
[00:38:02] If you're not pressing record, you're not nothing to do.
[00:38:05] So how does that feel?
[00:38:06] It doesn't feel good.
[00:38:07] It doesn't feel good.
[00:38:08] You don't like that.
[00:38:09] But when I take away that responsibility, you're actually going to come and claw back
[00:38:11] from me.
[00:38:12] You're going to say, you know what?
[00:38:14] Actually, you know, it was your fault when that happened.
[00:38:17] But you know what, from now on, since you screwed it up, I'm going to take ownership
[00:38:20] of it.
[00:38:21] And you know what I say?
[00:38:22] I say, cool, that's awesome.
[00:38:23] Yeah, good point.
[00:38:24] Since you are over there with the recordings and your technical guy and I'm not.
[00:38:27] That makes a lot of sense.
[00:38:28] Why don't we go with that from now on?
[00:38:29] You own it.
[00:38:31] I shouldn't have dropped the ball last time.
[00:38:34] You know.
[00:38:36] So that's that.
[00:38:37] So there we go.
[00:38:38] I don't want it.
[00:38:39] I fix it.
[00:38:40] By the way, if you don't want responsibility back, if you just say, cool, yeah, you
[00:38:42] press a quarter from now on.
[00:38:43] Okay, cool.
[00:38:44] I will.
[00:38:45] And then guess what?
[00:38:46] I'll start thinking about how much I need you around here.
[00:38:49] Because really, what else do you bring to the table?
[00:38:51] And it'll be.
[00:38:52] All right.
[00:38:53] So that's question number one.
[00:38:58] The question number two, as far as detaching.
[00:39:00] So I don't get emotional.
[00:39:01] If someone is blaming me, if someone is blaming me, if you start blaming me for something,
[00:39:10] I actually look at that right on the gate.
[00:39:12] I see that it's a psychological victory for me.
[00:39:14] Because you're blaming me.
[00:39:16] Like you're blaming.
[00:39:17] You're not taking ownership.
[00:39:18] I already won.
[00:39:19] I already won.
[00:39:20] So there's no, I'm not getting emotional about that.
[00:39:22] That's their blaming me because they don't have the where we fall to actually take
[00:39:28] ownership themselves.
[00:39:29] I see that as a weakness of theirs and I'm fine with it.
[00:39:32] And that's why I'm not going to, I don't need to get emotional because I'm sitting there going
[00:39:36] wow, this person just served me up on a silver platter.
[00:39:38] The fact that they don't want to take ownership, I'm not going to give it to me.
[00:39:41] Are you kidding me?
[00:39:42] I'll take this all day long.
[00:39:44] Another thing is, and I've said this before, I can't be respect.
[00:39:48] I can't be disrespected by someone that doesn't even respect themselves.
[00:39:52] You know what I'm saying?
[00:39:53] You can't just respect me.
[00:39:56] If you don't even respect yourself, if you're just like a bum in the street,
[00:39:59] where the thing came from, you know, someone that's just a drunk bum laying in his own vomit
[00:40:07] and wants to, you know, look at me and say, you look like a dirt bag.
[00:40:12] Yeah.
[00:40:13] Okay, I did carry on with your day.
[00:40:17] You're not going to affect me.
[00:40:18] So how in the same vein, how can I be disrespected by you when you tell me when you blame
[00:40:24] me for something when I realized what's happening right now is you don't even have
[00:40:27] enough respect for yourself to take ownership of something.
[00:40:30] This is just a wind.
[00:40:34] So that's the second part of it.
[00:40:35] And I think the third part of the question is a subordinate that goes up the chain of
[00:40:40] command, instead of working out the issues with the coworker, that's pretty pretty easy.
[00:40:45] I'm not going to solve those problems for you.
[00:40:46] Oh, you're going to problem down the chain of command with your coworker, your peer,
[00:40:51] and you guys aren't working it out, and you want me to solve your problem?
[00:40:54] No, you go figure it out and come back to me with the solution.
[00:40:58] Now I'll do that a couple of times if eventually they can't come up with a solution.
[00:41:00] Guess what I have?
[00:41:01] I have a problem.
[00:41:02] I have a real problem, and I will solve it, and they're not going to like my solution.
[00:41:06] Because it probably involves neither one of them being there anymore.
[00:41:10] Extreme case, but what I will do is I say, okay, come and read me the facts.
[00:41:14] You really want me to make a decision about this?
[00:41:16] Cool.
[00:41:17] I'll do it.
[00:41:18] But I always felt horrible.
[00:41:20] In fact, I don't even know if I ever did this.
[00:41:22] I'm going to my boss to make a decision about something that I should have agreed with my
[00:41:25] peer.
[00:41:26] Because you know what?
[00:41:27] I'd rather just, for me, I'd rather say, hey, you know what?
[00:41:29] You want to do it your way, echo fine.
[00:41:31] And you, let's go with it.
[00:41:32] It's close enough.
[00:41:34] You, oh, you want to take the lead?
[00:41:36] Cool.
[00:41:37] You take the lead.
[00:41:38] I'll support you.
[00:41:39] No problem.
[00:41:40] That's what I'm here for.
[00:41:41] I want the team to win.
[00:41:42] I know you're concerned about you, and I know that's fine.
[00:41:43] That's fine.
[00:41:44] I'm here for the team.
[00:41:45] So let's do it your way, so that it works out.
[00:41:48] Not going to my boss and complaining.
[00:41:51] That's just ridiculous.
[00:41:52] And then that's another one where I'm fit in.
[00:41:56] I don't think I've ever been in a corporate scenario, but it seems like that that's easy
[00:42:04] to see another people, you know?
[00:42:06] Like where, you know how like a situation where, yeah, let me let my subordinate take lead.
[00:42:12] It seems like that could be a solid, almost obvious answer for people.
[00:42:16] Yeah, except myself.
[00:42:17] You know, like I don't, I don't always point that in.
[00:42:20] Or, you know, I'm sure there's like people out there where it's like, oh, that this
[00:42:23] will solve probably a lot of your problems.
[00:42:25] Just look at it this way and do it and do that.
[00:42:28] You know, let one of your subordinates like take lead on the stuff.
[00:42:31] And I would predict, suppose that goes, that most people would be pretty surprised.
[00:42:39] Like, oh, yeah, I guess I should, I should do that, you know, at this point.
[00:42:45] So you're saying that's it.
[00:42:46] It's a pretty obvious solution once you hear it.
[00:42:48] Yeah.
[00:42:49] I think that's a difficult solution to actually execute because most people put in the situation.
[00:42:53] Don't remember it.
[00:42:54] Yeah, they don't remember to point it inwards.
[00:42:56] Yeah.
[00:42:57] Even like, literally you could be getting this advice like right now.
[00:43:01] You could be getting this advice.
[00:43:02] But hey, yeah, chocolate, that sounds like good advice and then no go like back to work.
[00:43:05] And you know, it applies to everyone else, you know?
[00:43:07] It's like you don't realize it.
[00:43:09] Like, man, I should do that, you know?
[00:43:10] Kind of thing.
[00:43:11] Yeah, that's the trouble with learning.
[00:43:14] Like, let's just trouble with learning.
[00:43:16] It's hard to apply it yourself.
[00:43:18] Yeah.
[00:43:19] Once again, it's like you're jitsu.
[00:43:20] You can watch, I can show you how to do it.
[00:43:23] And then you can watch me do it.
[00:43:25] And then I can move your limbs around so that you do it.
[00:43:28] And then we do a drill where we drill the move 20 times.
[00:43:33] And then you get into a competition.
[00:43:35] And they move is there and you don't execute it.
[00:43:38] You don't execute it correctly because you haven't done it enough.
[00:43:40] Yeah.
[00:43:41] You have to do the move.
[00:43:44] Kind of do the move.
[00:43:45] You've got to do the move.
[00:43:46] Next one.
[00:43:50] So I'm watching Deadliest Catch, the fishing show.
[00:43:56] Wait, crab.
[00:43:57] Crab, crab.
[00:43:58] Crabbing show.
[00:43:59] Yeah.
[00:44:00] Alaskan, crab.
[00:44:01] Mm.
[00:44:02] Respect.
[00:44:03] So I'm watching Deadliest Catch.
[00:44:05] And a deckhand wasn't paying attention and let too many small crabs into the tank.
[00:44:14] This is big trouble for the captain.
[00:44:15] No, the kid admits his mistake and apologizes.
[00:44:18] Captain, you're fired.
[00:44:20] I've watched you screw up for years.
[00:44:23] What's the message here?
[00:44:24] Yeah.
[00:44:25] So it's the captain that fires.
[00:44:26] Yes.
[00:44:27] It sees the mistake and says the captain says you're fired.
[00:44:29] Okay, got you.
[00:44:30] Okay.
[00:44:31] Okay.
[00:44:32] So this is, this tells me a couple things.
[00:44:34] This tells me a few things.
[00:44:35] This tells me a lot of things.
[00:44:36] Right?
[00:44:37] First of all, the boss watched the deckhand screw up for years.
[00:44:43] My assumption is that he didn't say anything.
[00:44:47] He watched someone screw up for years.
[00:44:49] How is the deckhand going to improve if he doesn't get counseled on what his shortfalls
[00:44:54] are?
[00:44:55] Okay, so that could have happened.
[00:44:58] That's one assumption.
[00:44:59] Let's make the other assumption.
[00:45:01] The other assumption is that the captain did counsel the deckhand and watched him screw
[00:45:05] up for years and told him you better not do that.
[00:45:07] You better not do that.
[00:45:08] You better not do that.
[00:45:09] And he's now done it again.
[00:45:10] And guess what?
[00:45:11] He's getting fired.
[00:45:12] So that's understandable.
[00:45:18] So I think the question is implying kind of like, hey, hey boss, this was my fault.
[00:45:27] Shouldn't let that happen.
[00:45:28] And now the boss can say, oh, since you're taking ownership of that, that's no problem.
[00:45:33] We'll let it go.
[00:45:35] That doesn't happen.
[00:45:37] So if you have a concept in your brain that you think that when you take ownership
[00:45:42] from something that you're immune then from the punishment of the mistake you've made, that's
[00:45:47] not true.
[00:45:48] That's absolutely not true.
[00:45:50] Taking ownership of a mistake does not relieve you of responsibility of that mistake.
[00:45:59] In fact, the opposite of true, when you take ownership of a mistake, you're taking ownership
[00:46:03] of the mistake and you are raising your hand and saying, I own the mistake.
[00:46:08] And if there's punishment to be met and out, it needs to land on me.
[00:46:16] That's what ownership is.
[00:46:17] Ownership is not to get out of jail free card.
[00:46:21] You know what, it's my fault.
[00:46:22] You know, we joke about this.
[00:46:24] His my bust.
[00:46:25] Hey, my bust on that one.
[00:46:26] It won't happen again.
[00:46:28] So now everyone just ignores it?
[00:46:29] No.
[00:46:30] This is a serious violation.
[00:46:33] Having the wrong size crabs is kind of thing to get you rolled up by the fishing game
[00:46:37] department and all of a sudden you're getting shot down.
[00:46:40] It's a serious business.
[00:46:43] Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and thousands of dollars.
[00:46:45] If not more, or at stake here.
[00:46:47] And this kid isn't doing his job correctly.
[00:46:49] So either the boss, the captain, had mentored him and was fed up, which makes him a good
[00:46:56] boss.
[00:46:57] And this was his last warning and he failed his last warning.
[00:46:59] And there you go.
[00:47:00] Hey, I've been watching you screw up.
[00:47:02] I told you you screwed up.
[00:47:03] I've written you up about screwing up and I told you not to let this happen again.
[00:47:06] And you just let it happen again.
[00:47:07] You're fired.
[00:47:09] Or maybe the boss wasn't that square away.
[00:47:12] And he hadn't counted.
[00:47:13] He hadn't had the hard conversations early with him to square him away.
[00:47:16] And now the boss leaves something to be desired.
[00:47:20] Because he's just the first offense that he talks him about his hey, you're fired.
[00:47:26] When I took ownership of the blue on blue, in extreme ownership, first chapter, I could
[00:47:31] have been fired for that.
[00:47:34] I could have been fired.
[00:47:35] My boss could have said, yeah.
[00:47:36] Yeah, you're right.
[00:47:37] This is your fault.
[00:47:37] We can't have that happen out here.
[00:47:39] You're fired.
[00:47:40] And I said, Roger that.
[00:47:44] It's not hey, I own this.
[00:47:46] Please let me go.
[00:47:47] Yeah, I took this.
[00:47:49] Now here, I will say this though.
[00:47:53] So taking extreme ownership is not a get out of jail free card.
[00:47:58] But I will tell you this, if you make excuses, it is going to be worst in 99% of the
[00:48:04] situations.
[00:48:05] Well, you know the small crab snuck in when I wasn't looking, that's not my fault.
[00:48:11] Tactical crabs on the moon.
[00:48:14] Then you just look like an idiot.
[00:48:17] Right?
[00:48:19] So another thing that this brings up is this idea of preemptive ownership.
[00:48:24] And that is taking ownership of something.
[00:48:28] You don't want to take ownership after the fact.
[00:48:34] Using ownership, the idea of extreme ownership in its purest and most effective form
[00:48:39] is an hay, something went wrong.
[00:48:41] And I'm now taking ownership of the mistake.
[00:48:43] That's not the best extreme ownership scenario.
[00:48:47] The best extreme ownership scenario is when you take ownership prior to the mistake
[00:48:52] happening.
[00:48:53] And you realize that if there is going to be a mistake, you are going to own it.
[00:48:58] So what you're going to do is you're going to work hard to prevent that mistake from
[00:49:02] happening.
[00:49:03] That's preemptive ownership.
[00:49:05] You're taking ownership before the mistake happens.
[00:49:07] So this kid, this deck hand, could have put procedures in place to make sure no small
[00:49:13] crabs got in.
[00:49:14] It's sorted them out properly.
[00:49:17] But instead he thought, oh, you know what?
[00:49:18] It'd be no big deal.
[00:49:19] Just take ownership and then they'll say, it's okay.
[00:49:22] Or you know all the way and someone else or whatever has thinking it is.
[00:49:24] And he says, look, if I let small crabs in here, I am going to own it and I am going
[00:49:29] to get fired.
[00:49:31] Guess what?
[00:49:32] Perhaps he would have worked a little harder to prevent the small crabs from being
[00:49:36] where they weren't supposed to be.
[00:49:39] But see, when you have that out, when you think you can just blame someone else, that
[00:49:43] allows you to be slack.
[00:49:44] Yeah.
[00:49:45] When you think, well, this isn't really my response.
[00:49:48] But that's why when I work with companies, I don't have some thing that's going wrong.
[00:49:53] Some problem.
[00:49:54] Some procedure that's not working correctly.
[00:49:56] Some timeline that's not being met.
[00:49:59] And one of the first questions I ask it, normally like a huge step in the right direction
[00:50:03] to resolve the problem, is I go, okay, who's in charge of that process?
[00:50:09] And I'll bunch of people who we're looking around at each other and no one's raising their
[00:50:13] hand.
[00:50:14] And the minute I see that, I go, interesting.
[00:50:17] This is the answer to me.
[00:50:18] Now we know why the process is ineffective because no one has ownership of it.
[00:50:21] And if no one has ownership of it and the thing doesn't get done when it's supposed
[00:50:24] to get done, everyone just points at each other and says, yeah, well, the one that
[00:50:26] my fault is this fault is their fault.
[00:50:28] And then no one takes ownership of no one solves it.
[00:50:31] Whereas if you say, okay, echo you are in charge of this process.
[00:50:35] If it doesn't work, I'm coming after you.
[00:50:38] You know, now you can step up your game, preemptively, to prevent a mistake from occurring,
[00:50:45] prevent the little crabs from getting in the pot.
[00:50:49] So taking ownership isn't a good idea.
[00:50:51] Get out of jail, free card.
[00:50:54] If you have a subordinate, you are actually responsible for counseling them and coaching
[00:50:58] them and mentoring them and explaining to them what the standards are so that they can
[00:51:03] meet the standards explaining explicitly what the standards are so that they can meet those
[00:51:07] standards.
[00:51:09] And the optimal ownership takes place not only after, but more importantly, before something
[00:51:21] goes wrong.
[00:51:22] There you go.
[00:51:27] Not to mention, you got a take responsibility for solving the problem.
[00:51:30] Yes, you do.
[00:51:31] Apparently this decam guy, that's not the.
[00:51:34] He didn't take his ownership for the mistake.
[00:51:36] He didn't take ownership for solving the problem.
[00:51:38] He also didn't implement a solution to the problem.
[00:51:41] There's all kinds of problems.
[00:51:42] For years.
[00:51:43] By the way, yeah.
[00:51:44] So there you go.
[00:51:46] Next question.
[00:51:47] One mistakes did you make early, discussed in your live podcast that could have progressed
[00:51:51] to you further.
[00:51:52] Yeah, I think there's just some real big obvious ones.
[00:51:56] Wasted a bunch of time.
[00:51:59] You know, you wasted a bunch of time when you're young.
[00:52:02] You think you got forever and you waste time and whether it's doing stuff that's not
[00:52:07] productive, whether it's going out, get drunk.
[00:52:12] Whatever dumb things you waste time doing, whether it's just wasting time.
[00:52:17] And you know what?
[00:52:22] Look, I'm not saying don't have fun in your life because that's wrong answer to that's too
[00:52:24] extreme.
[00:52:25] What I am saying is I sometimes add a little too much fun.
[00:52:28] Sometimes I wasn't focused on the right thing.
[00:52:29] So wasted time is number one.
[00:52:31] Wasted money.
[00:52:32] Wasted a ton of money on dumb stuff.
[00:52:36] And I'd say that both of these are wasting time wasting money.
[00:52:40] Those are like the two biggest mistakes that I've made.
[00:52:44] But I would say the root of those mistakes is that I didn't do a good job of connecting
[00:52:51] the future to the present.
[00:52:54] You just don't, when you're young, I shouldn't say that.
[00:52:58] When I wish, I don't want to put a universal blanket of being dumb on everyone, even though
[00:53:03] you're not in your head pretty hard to leave over there.
[00:53:06] That's the thing.
[00:53:07] Yeah, we see a lot of people do this.
[00:53:10] Right.
[00:53:11] A lot of us, we waste our time, we waste our money and we don't connect what we're doing
[00:53:14] right now with what's going to happen in the future.
[00:53:17] And that is not a good policy to have.
[00:53:19] What we want to do and what I try and instill with kids, with my kids, with kids that I talk
[00:53:25] about on the podcast is I want to connect what decisions are being made right now with
[00:53:30] decisions that will, with the, with the end state that you end up with in your future.
[00:53:36] So if you take advantage of your time, you're going to be in a much better place.
[00:53:40] If you save your money, you're going to be in a much better place.
[00:53:42] If you invest your money properly, you're going to be in a much better place.
[00:53:45] If you train and you treat people, if you train hard, you're going to be in a much better
[00:53:48] place.
[00:53:49] If you treat people respectfully and you build relationships, you're going to be in a much better
[00:53:51] place.
[00:53:53] If you do the opposite of those things, you're going to be in a worse place.
[00:53:55] If you treat people like dirt, you're going to, they'll come back to bite you.
[00:53:59] If you waste your money, you won't have it.
[00:54:00] If you waste your time, you'll run out.
[00:54:03] So I think the biggest mistake really for me was that I failed to connect the present to
[00:54:11] the future.
[00:54:12] There are only ways that I succeeded in that early on, was through luck.
[00:54:18] Like I joined the Navy and I'm very lucky that I did because I was immediately building
[00:54:24] my future.
[00:54:25] Even though I had no, I wasn't my intent as immediately.
[00:54:28] I bought a house that was great.
[00:54:33] What did I buy it for?
[00:54:34] I wanted a place to live.
[00:54:36] What did I end up with?
[00:54:37] An incredible investment.
[00:54:39] Enough to buy another house.
[00:54:41] That one was a little bit more intentional.
[00:54:43] Wait a second.
[00:54:44] If I owned another house, and I was just talking about this with a friend of mine, it was
[00:54:50] explaining when he remembered when I got my second house.
[00:54:57] I was in my mind, Donald J. Trump, the real estate landlord, like master.
[00:55:05] Someone was going to be paying me rent.
[00:55:10] I had another house that I was going to live in.
[00:55:13] So that was what I started making this shift where I connected the present with the future.
[00:55:19] Yeah.
[00:55:20] So what you do today is directly correlated to where you'll end up in the future.
[00:55:25] That is in Ecos, favorite sort of thread of this entire podcast, is playing the long
[00:55:32] war.
[00:55:33] It took me too long to start fighting the long war.
[00:55:36] That's what I'll say.
[00:55:37] That was, say, the biggest mistakes from my early life.
[00:55:40] Yeah.
[00:55:41] And really, in a way, they could be viewed as not even really mistakes.
[00:55:47] I guess this is more of just sort of the way things happen.
[00:55:52] Because be most times we figure these things out later in life when the long game starts
[00:55:58] to materialize.
[00:55:59] Because when you're early in your career, the only short game is sort of there.
[00:56:03] And then in a way, actually no, at the end of the day, no.
[00:56:06] Because even as a little kid, you know the long game.
[00:56:08] You're familiar with it.
[00:56:09] A little bit.
[00:56:10] Because like, you ever had to save your money for something like an optimist price.
[00:56:15] Yeah.
[00:56:16] You know, something like that.
[00:56:17] And they said, you got to save your money for it.
[00:56:20] And, bro, you save your money.
[00:56:22] That's playing the long game.
[00:56:24] As a kid, you know, it's a kid version.
[00:56:26] So it's kind of the same thing.
[00:56:28] But maybe it's not as intuitive, you know, when you're little, when you're big, when you're
[00:56:31] grown.
[00:56:32] No, you're not saying to do it.
[00:56:34] It's the other thing is like, someone has to tell you.
[00:56:39] But like we just talked about, sometimes when people tell you you still just don't listen
[00:56:43] to them.
[00:56:44] Yeah.
[00:56:45] Yeah.
[00:56:46] You know, people say, hey, you should really do this.
[00:56:47] And you go, yeah, whatever.
[00:56:48] That's for you.
[00:56:49] Yeah.
[00:56:50] I'm gonna say that.
[00:56:51] Yeah.
[00:56:52] That's for you.
[00:56:53] One of my uncle's friends won the lottery.
[00:56:59] Years ago, like in the 70s.
[00:57:02] And he won one of those big lotteries, where he got money every year.
[00:57:08] You know, you could take the lump son or you could take the payments.
[00:57:11] The payments.
[00:57:12] He took the payments.
[00:57:13] Yeah.
[00:57:14] But one of the lottery.
[00:57:15] Right?
[00:57:16] Literally one of the lottery.
[00:57:17] Literally one of the lottery.
[00:57:18] And so the payments lasted 20 years.
[00:57:21] Well, when you're 22, that's forever.
[00:57:24] Yeah.
[00:57:25] Right?
[00:57:26] That's forever.
[00:57:27] Yeah.
[00:57:28] And so my dad was talking to him.
[00:57:31] Talking to his guy that won the lottery.
[00:57:32] And now he was at like the 19 year mark.
[00:57:35] Yeah.
[00:57:36] And guess what he had done with all this money?
[00:57:38] That's what he invested in real estate.
[00:57:40] Did he buy start companies?
[00:57:42] What do you think he did with this money?
[00:57:43] It's meant to.
[00:57:44] Yeah.
[00:57:45] He bought car and whatever.
[00:57:47] That 10, 10.
[00:57:48] And you know, like it's a dated girls and went to bars and went out for nice dinners.
[00:57:53] And did that for a long time.
[00:57:56] And so my dad says, hey, you know, they're talking about it.
[00:58:00] He says, well, you know, this is the last year that I'm getting my monthly payments for
[00:58:04] winning the lottery.
[00:58:06] My dad says, what are you going to do when the payments aren't coming anymore?
[00:58:13] And he says, I'm going to win again.
[00:58:15] So yeah, that's planning in a sense.
[00:58:22] Kind of.
[00:58:23] And no, it's not.
[00:58:25] Oh, this is, but man, that's one of the, but that tends to go like that for lottery winners.
[00:58:33] Yeah, apparently the lottery winning isn't a big, like happiness.
[00:58:37] No, it's bad.
[00:58:38] Yeah.
[00:58:39] It ends up being bad because life is a long, long game.
[00:58:43] No matter how you play it, the long game is the one that shakes out.
[00:58:47] You know, so if you're a player playing the short game, that's why you lose in life.
[00:58:51] If you play the short game all the time.
[00:58:53] Yes.
[00:58:54] And the people who play the long game made it all the time.
[00:58:55] I mean, it was playing it.
[00:58:56] You don't even have to dominate it.
[00:58:58] Although I'm not recommending not trying to dominate.
[00:59:01] I'm not saying trying to dominate.
[00:59:03] Yeah, you could come in shoot second to the last place.
[00:59:07] But if you're playing the game, you're going to be doing good.
[00:59:08] And along with you, when you come in second to last place in the long game, you still just
[00:59:13] beat every single other person that's playing the short game.
[00:59:17] Yep.
[00:59:18] You beat them all.
[00:59:19] Yeah.
[00:59:20] And it's not there.
[00:59:21] And they're over there looking around my gorgeous app.
[00:59:22] Yeah, how is who you're so square to it?
[00:59:24] Yeah, but it's not that complicated.
[00:59:27] You know, I mean, it's not easy.
[00:59:28] It's because it's not easy.
[00:59:29] You're wired to please.
[00:59:30] How do you go deep on this on that last warrior, kid podcast?
[00:59:33] Yeah.
[00:59:34] Oh, yeah.
[00:59:35] This, this, this, this, this short term.
[00:59:36] You need to get over the short term gratification.
[00:59:40] Yeah.
[00:59:41] And that is the one of the biggest lessons a kid can learn is that my actions today
[00:59:45] will affect my future.
[00:59:47] Yeah.
[00:59:48] And it's hard to convince some of that.
[00:59:51] It seems so distant.
[00:59:52] Yep.
[00:59:53] Like the future seems so distant when you're young.
[00:59:58] I always have another discussion with someone who would appear in it.
[01:00:02] And there was a level of frustration that, and it's the typical level of frustration from
[01:00:07] the parent, which was, you know, the kid has a lot of potential, but they're like,
[01:00:11] they're not training the way they should be and not working the way, you know, all that
[01:00:15] stuff.
[01:00:17] And what I tried to explain to the parent was that the potential that you're telling your
[01:00:24] kid that he has, they do not even comprehend what that means.
[01:00:30] It is not a, it is not a, it's not something that they can understand.
[01:00:35] It's completely intangible.
[01:00:37] Like even when you say, oh, if you keep practicing this, you could be the champion.
[01:00:42] Yeah.
[01:00:43] This means you might as well say, if you keep practicing this, he will be, you know,
[01:00:48] you're not able to do that.
[01:00:49] Yeah.
[01:00:50] It means nothing to them.
[01:00:51] Yeah.
[01:00:52] And so yes, you try to convince them.
[01:00:53] You try and explain it to them.
[01:00:55] But what I recommend is instead of trying to explain to them this massive concept of what
[01:01:01] their potential is, you try and give them some short term rewards that lead them in the
[01:01:07] right direction that are, are supportive of the long game, but they're easier mental connections
[01:01:13] for the kid.
[01:01:14] And this is the same thing applies to employees as well, right?
[01:01:18] You know, you get a young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young, young,
[01:01:20] employees as well, right?
[01:01:22] You know, you get a young, young employee that's, you know, they're not thinking they
[01:01:25] could be the regional manager, right?
[01:01:29] They're just thinking they're just happy to be here.
[01:01:31] But you're, you're looking at what I'm going to ask, you know, this is sharp kid.
[01:01:34] Could be could.
[01:01:35] So you might not say, look, one day you're going to be the regional manager in 22 years.
[01:01:40] Think about that.
[01:01:41] When you, you, somebody gets hired on as whatever.
[01:01:44] And you say, one day, you're, you could be the regional manager and you could make whatever.
[01:01:48] This big chunk of money.
[01:01:50] You're looking at you going, you're going to be here to, you know, I'm, I'm going to have
[01:01:53] this job for six months, whatever.
[01:01:54] Yeah.
[01:01:55] So what you want to do is just tie something a little bit closer to them to their reality.
[01:01:58] Yeah.
[01:01:59] Of, hey, here's where you could get a, here's where the bonus program works here.
[01:02:03] Have you seen this?
[01:02:04] You can make an extra, whatever.
[01:02:05] Yeah.
[01:02:06] And it's going to move them in the right direction, the long game, but they can comprehend
[01:02:10] it immediately.
[01:02:11] Yeah.
[01:02:12] That's my recommendation.
[01:02:13] Should even just compliments and encouragement are good, little micro rewards for those
[01:02:19] short term like, so I think you're my kids.
[01:02:21] Once again, we can't abuse them.
[01:02:23] Yeah.
[01:02:24] You have to abuse, you know, friendlyness with our children.
[01:02:26] We can't abuse, that means that's not the right way.
[01:02:30] Not the right way.
[01:02:31] We can't abuse cheerleading.
[01:02:33] Yeah.
[01:02:34] Right.
[01:02:35] We can abuse cheerleading with our kids and everything that they do is beautiful.
[01:02:37] Right.
[01:02:38] No, that's as beautiful.
[01:02:40] Yeah.
[01:02:41] A piece of art that you just created.
[01:02:43] What is it?
[01:02:44] Beautiful.
[01:02:45] Whatever it is.
[01:02:46] Yeah.
[01:02:47] No.
[01:02:48] That's not good.
[01:02:51] Yeah.
[01:02:52] That's not good.
[01:02:53] But you're just talking about abuse and the other thing is the other thing you have
[01:02:56] to be careful with is, you're telling your kid like, well, you're special.
[01:03:03] Or you're so perfect.
[01:03:05] Right.
[01:03:06] You know.
[01:03:07] And so you know.
[01:03:08] Yeah.
[01:03:09] So this can get better.
[01:03:10] Yeah.
[01:03:11] You're marginal.
[01:03:12] That's.
[01:03:13] No, that.
[01:03:14] No.
[01:03:15] Yeah. and what I mean encouragement and in compliments.
[01:03:19] It's like if they do something good, you compliment that good thing.
[01:03:22] That's essentially it.
[01:03:23] And yeah, like anything, you can throw out too many.
[01:03:27] And you can throw out too little really because the fulfillment or satisfaction of receiving
[01:03:31] that compliment isn't big enough for the work that they just did.
[01:03:33] Like man, I don't want to do those 100.
[01:03:36] I'm proud of my daughter to 90 burpees the other day.
[01:03:40] Why 90?
[01:03:41] Did you just want to withhold?
[01:03:42] No, I'm working on the century.
[01:03:43] I'm working on the four.
[01:03:44] I'm trying to get to 90 and say hey dad, you do whatever you want.
[01:03:49] I'm getting 10 more.
[01:03:50] Watch this.
[01:03:51] I'm getting to a hundough.
[01:03:52] Well, he was the thing.
[01:03:53] She's done that before, but not with 90.
[01:03:55] So I'm working her up.
[01:03:56] I started from like, I was like, hey, when she was real soon.
[01:03:58] One more time.
[01:03:59] I didn't time it.
[01:04:01] How are we going to recognize improvement?
[01:04:03] Because we're going to get to the number first.
[01:04:04] Then we go for a time.
[01:04:05] Got it.
[01:04:06] So I mean, that's the story.
[01:04:07] I mean, it's not like, you know, my life's mission.
[01:04:09] Of course.
[01:04:10] It's just a fun little thing that I do.
[01:04:12] But if.
[01:04:13] If sounds fun.
[01:04:15] Yeah, wonderful.
[01:04:15] Sure.
[01:04:17] But so if I'm like, hey, you're super strong.
[01:04:21] They like that or my kids like that when you call them strong.
[01:04:24] So every time they do something like exercise or something like that,
[01:04:28] they do a good workout or whatever.
[01:04:30] I'll say how strong they are or how strong they're looking or being or whatever.
[01:04:35] But if that feeling isn't enough to constitute that super hard,
[01:04:40] we're like if I over push them like I 90,
[01:04:42] given where we are with burpees with her.
[01:04:46] She's not raised.
[01:04:47] She wasn't ready for 90 at this time.
[01:04:50] So did you cry?
[01:04:51] No, she didn't cry.
[01:04:52] Thankfully.
[01:04:53] She'll cry.
[01:04:54] No shame.
[01:04:54] She'll cry.
[01:04:55] I went for a run with my youngest daughter.
[01:04:59] This is a while ago.
[01:05:00] I don't know how old she was at the time.
[01:05:02] But I was like, OK, we're going to start running.
[01:05:04] Because I want to improve for my all time at the school.
[01:05:08] I said, OK, you want to improve that my all time.
[01:05:10] I know how to do it.
[01:05:11] Here we go.
[01:05:14] So her mile time was weak.
[01:05:17] And I said, we can get it better.
[01:05:18] So the first run we went on, I'm not kidding.
[01:05:22] She, by the time we got one minute deep,
[01:05:27] she had tears welling up in her eyes.
[01:05:31] And I said, hey, just keep going.
[01:05:34] But the point of saying this is when I try
[01:05:41] to give children, especially my children or any children
[01:05:44] compliments, I try and compliment their hard work.
[01:05:48] As opposed to your strong or your smart, what I say is,
[01:05:52] you really worked hard for that and look at this great result.
[01:05:55] Because what it makes them realize is that great results
[01:05:58] come from hard work and guess what?
[01:06:00] That is the truth.
[01:06:01] Because we all know people that were incredibly smart,
[01:06:04] incredibly strong, incredibly talented,
[01:06:06] incredibly gifted, and they didn't do anything with any of those
[01:06:09] things.
[01:06:09] Because they didn't understand that they had to work hard.
[01:06:12] Even if you have all that skill, if you don't work hard,
[01:06:14] you're not going to get anywhere.
[01:06:15] Yeah, dang that's a good little.
[01:06:17] So lean towards complimenting the hard work.
[01:06:22] And that's what you really want to see.
[01:06:24] Let's face it.
[01:06:25] Let me ask you this.
[01:06:26] And this is a tough question.
[01:06:28] Would you rather have someone on your team
[01:06:32] that is extremely talented or extremely hard worker?
[01:06:36] Of course, it's easy.
[01:06:37] We all want to say, well, I take the talent
[01:06:39] because we can make the person work hard,
[01:06:40] but that's actually not true.
[01:06:42] That's the same thing.
[01:06:43] And the real talent, the best talent,
[01:06:46] really is you get someone that just knows how to grind
[01:06:49] and work hard.
[01:06:51] Like that's good.
[01:06:52] And that's going to be much more valuable
[01:06:54] than hey, this person's super smart
[01:06:57] or hey, this person's super strong.
[01:06:59] Occasionally, you get someone like GSP, George St. Pierre,
[01:07:04] who was way talented in multiple modalities
[01:07:11] and was a hard worker.
[01:07:13] You know what that person becomes?
[01:07:14] A world champion.
[01:07:15] Yeah.
[01:07:17] Sometimes you get a world champion
[01:07:18] that's just there because of hard work.
[01:07:20] Sometimes you get a world champion.
[01:07:21] That's just there because of talent.
[01:07:22] Occasionally, you get someone that's both
[01:07:24] and they're usually sort of a,
[01:07:26] just there more dominant, like a dominant.
[01:07:28] Yeah, that's true.
[01:07:30] And that's good.
[01:07:31] So I started to compliment the hard work.
[01:07:34] I personally like both, I like to,
[01:07:37] especially with my son like being strong and stuff,
[01:07:40] he really likes that.
[01:07:42] So he'll, it's to the point where if you help him do something,
[01:07:45] he'll get mad at you.
[01:07:46] You kind of get mad at you.
[01:07:47] Yeah, which I kind of like,
[01:07:48] I don't know where that's going to lead, you know,
[01:07:50] but I like that currently.
[01:07:52] So he has that sense of pride.
[01:07:55] We're being strong is a good,
[01:07:56] yeah, no, that's nothing wrong with that.
[01:07:58] So yeah, but man, if you add the hard work part of it,
[01:08:01] because being strong is essentially a result,
[01:08:03] you know, and he doesn't obviously is too.
[01:08:06] Yeah, it's really going to be easy connection
[01:08:08] if you'd make because it's, hey, you're strong
[01:08:10] and that's because you work hard.
[01:08:11] Yeah.
[01:08:12] Because many of you say you're strong
[01:08:13] because you got just changed.
[01:08:15] Cool.
[01:08:16] All those besit over here, be strong.
[01:08:17] You're strong.
[01:08:18] You're strong.
[01:08:19] That's true.
[01:08:20] What do you got?
[01:08:21] Yeah, it's true.
[01:08:22] And when you, especially if you don't recognize
[01:08:24] the hard work part of it, you know,
[01:08:26] and you just think you, as a kid,
[01:08:28] you're just rolling around strong.
[01:08:29] You're, you're basically you've reveled in the results
[01:08:32] for so long where it's now when it's hard work time.
[01:08:35] It's kind of like, wait, I'm not used to that part of this.
[01:08:36] So they say that can happen to,
[01:08:38] they call them gazelles in buds.
[01:08:42] These are people that like really fast good athletes.
[01:08:44] And, but they never lost before.
[01:08:46] Yeah.
[01:08:47] And if they start getting beat down,
[01:08:48] which you do get beat down,
[01:08:50] and they lose, they can't handle it mentally.
[01:08:52] Yeah.
[01:08:53] Oh yeah.
[01:08:53] So yes, sir, that is, that's real.
[01:08:57] Next question.
[01:08:58] Jocelyn, my wife told me that she sees,
[01:09:01] I am much more direct and less cordial than I used to be.
[01:09:05] I feel I've pushed too much into getting after it.
[01:09:08] And it makes those around me feel like I changed
[01:09:13] to someone else.
[01:09:15] Yeah, we have to be really careful, right?
[01:09:18] Because being more direct at less cordial
[01:09:23] is definitely not getting after it.
[01:09:25] In fact, it's the opposite.
[01:09:28] If you are getting after it in a correct manner,
[01:09:32] your wife should be completely stoked
[01:09:36] because you're gonna have more time for her
[01:09:38] because you're gonna be doing time management properly.
[01:09:41] You're gonna have,
[01:09:43] you're gonna be doing better at work,
[01:09:44] which means you're gonna be getting promoted
[01:09:46] or whatever, getting paid more or getting jobs
[01:09:49] to build your whatever something like that.
[01:09:51] You're gonna be healthier
[01:09:53] because you're working out,
[01:09:55] you're gonna be stronger because you're working out.
[01:09:56] You're gonna be more organized with things
[01:10:01] and you're gonna be more thoughtful about building.
[01:10:03] That's what it getting after.
[01:10:04] Like your relationship should be improving.
[01:10:06] Yes.
[01:10:08] And this is one of the echo Charles's favorite things
[01:10:13] to talk about.
[01:10:14] It's actually something that you've just brought up
[01:10:15] a bunch of times on the podcast,
[01:10:17] which is when someone says,
[01:10:19] no, that's just how I am.
[01:10:21] Like, you know what echo?
[01:10:22] I'm just gonna tell you the truth
[01:10:23] is that's just how I am.
[01:10:24] Just making an excuse for being a jerk
[01:10:26] coming out of the gate, which is not good.
[01:10:28] So if that's what you're doing with your wife,
[01:10:30] you know what?
[01:10:31] I'm just gonna get after it.
[01:10:32] Hey, this tune of casserole sucks.
[01:10:36] I'm just telling you what it is.
[01:10:38] That's how I roll.
[01:10:39] Like no, you're actually rolling in the wrong direction.
[01:10:43] When you're getting after it in a good way,
[01:10:45] your wife will be stoked.
[01:10:47] I was getting interviewed the other day.
[01:10:50] And I realized this.
[01:10:52] So I've written eight books.
[01:10:54] The eight one comes out in January of 2020.
[01:10:57] It's a lot of writing.
[01:11:00] I wrote 90% of the words in those books
[01:11:05] while my family was asleep.
[01:11:09] Then it made almost no impact on the family.
[01:11:14] I'm writing these books.
[01:11:17] Editing is a little bit different
[01:11:18] because there's a timeline on it.
[01:11:19] And I think sometimes my family would be a wake
[01:11:21] while I was editing and I had to get stuff turned back in.
[01:11:23] And it's a pain.
[01:11:25] But that's like a takes a week, right?
[01:11:27] But the other 90% of getting after it
[01:11:32] was done while my family is asleep.
[01:11:36] If you,
[01:11:37] concretarily, are getting after it
[01:11:39] at the expense of your family in friends,
[01:11:42] that's not, that's actually being selfish.
[01:11:47] So that's one part.
[01:11:48] Okay, so maybe you need to check yourself there
[01:11:50] and make sure that you're,
[01:11:51] got your priorities in order.
[01:11:54] There is a chance, however,
[01:11:57] that your friends don't like seeing you start to
[01:12:04] get some altitude, right?
[01:12:07] Start to be more successful,
[01:12:08] start to lead a better life.
[01:12:10] There's all kinds of groups of people
[01:12:12] that will just drag you back down.
[01:12:14] They don't want to see you in.
[01:12:16] That's sort of, I don't know,
[01:12:18] is that the fundamental kind of baseline
[01:12:20] human instinct I don't want to see you in.
[01:12:24] If there is an element of it to,
[01:12:26] to, I would not be surprised.
[01:12:29] Put it that way, but I don't know.
[01:12:30] There's at least a non-trivial part
[01:12:34] of the population that does not want to see you in.
[01:12:40] There's at least a percentage,
[01:12:42] whatever that percentage is,
[01:12:44] of the people that you know
[01:12:46] that does not want to see you in,
[01:12:48] they would rather see you fail.
[01:12:51] They would rather, and maybe fails not the word,
[01:12:53] but they would at least rather have you stay with them.
[01:12:56] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[01:12:57] That makes sense, really.
[01:12:59] So there's a chance that that's going on.
[01:13:01] Is there a chance that that's going on with your wife?
[01:13:05] Hopefully not, that's a slim chance,
[01:13:07] because if you think about it,
[01:13:08] your success, her success is predicated on your success.
[01:13:11] I mean, you are bound to each other,
[01:13:13] both each of your success is predicated
[01:13:16] on each other's success.
[01:13:18] So do I want my wife to be successful?
[01:13:21] Oh yeah, because that's my wife.
[01:13:25] And she's looking me going, yes, go be successful.
[01:13:27] The more successful I am, the more successful she is.
[01:13:31] So there's most likely your wife, in my opinion,
[01:13:36] would be supportive of your efforts,
[01:13:38] unless you're just to get out of control.
[01:13:41] There's a chance, I guess,
[01:13:42] that a wife could see someone change,
[01:13:47] and that's not the person that I married, right?
[01:13:50] But hold on, the person that you married was lazy.
[01:13:54] And I'm over here getting after it.
[01:13:56] The person that you married was making X amount of money,
[01:13:58] and I'm making a lot more than that.
[01:14:01] The person that you married was in a good physical shape.
[01:14:03] I'm in good physical shape.
[01:14:06] Most of the time, the wife would say,
[01:14:08] cool, yeah, I'm getting a better deal now.
[01:14:10] Occasionally, I think, you would get a spouse,
[01:14:13] I guess, could be the male or the female,
[01:14:15] could happen on either side.
[01:14:17] That goes, oh, you want to work hard,
[01:14:19] and I'm really not looking to do that.
[01:14:20] I was comfortable, right?
[01:14:21] I was comfortable, that's it.
[01:14:23] I'm comfortable.
[01:14:24] I don't want you getting all crazy.
[01:14:25] I'm over here being comfortable.
[01:14:27] So that could happen.
[01:14:29] I think that's unlikely.
[01:14:30] I think what's most likely is,
[01:14:32] you are focused on yourself a little bit too much.
[01:14:36] Check yourself for that.
[01:14:37] That should be the first person you look at.
[01:14:39] You.
[01:14:40] Yeah, that's true, huh?
[01:14:41] Because like, this is actually kind of common,
[01:14:43] where husband, wife, whichever the scenario is,
[01:14:47] where one, let's say, let's say two people,
[01:14:49] they get married, whatever,
[01:14:50] years down the road, one of the people in the couple,
[01:14:54] relationship improves himself a lot too.
[01:14:57] Loses a bunch of weight.
[01:14:58] They're literally by their own standard.
[01:15:01] They were not very attractive when they got married,
[01:15:04] but now this is 10 years later,
[01:15:05] whatever they become straight up attractive now.
[01:15:08] Making more money, more people want to hang out with them
[01:15:11] because they're nicer like all this stuff, straight up,
[01:15:14] across the board improvement,
[01:15:16] meanwhile the other person in the relationship didn't do that.
[01:15:19] Still married, still all good, no,
[01:15:22] infidel, nothing like that.
[01:15:23] Still married, but that person who didn't improve themselves
[01:15:26] will feel like they got phased out
[01:15:28] or kind of like the person might want to upgrade
[01:15:31] or something like that.
[01:15:32] So it's like, it's a positive they try and drag the person back down.
[01:15:35] Yeah, because you need to be back here,
[01:15:37] I need to be feel secure.
[01:15:38] Now I'm this husband and now my wife's
[01:15:40] I'm not used to a hot wife
[01:15:42] because when we got married, you weren't that hot.
[01:15:44] I loved you for you and all this stuff
[01:15:47] and what they say, whatever.
[01:15:49] And now you're a good person.
[01:15:51] I don't know.
[01:15:52] I don't know.
[01:15:53] I'm thinking of cliche movie thing.
[01:15:56] But anyway, the wife's all good looking now,
[01:15:59] people are like, people at the store,
[01:16:01] like, complimenting her and all this stuff.
[01:16:03] And the guys now used to it.
[01:16:04] And now in his mind, a little thing develops
[01:16:07] or it's like, oh, I'm not good enough now
[01:16:09] for this hot girl.
[01:16:11] And I'm going to buy her some cheetos.
[01:16:12] Yeah, bring her back down.
[01:16:14] So like at least have some manager boom
[01:16:17] out of control.
[01:16:18] Yeah.
[01:16:19] This person, that's not an uncommon thing.
[01:16:22] In that specific scenario, I guess that scenario
[01:16:24] is not very common though.
[01:16:26] It's not very common scenario.
[01:16:28] And then it would have to be doubly uncommon
[01:16:30] for someone to actually want to drag them back down.
[01:16:32] I have to throw it out there
[01:16:33] because it is a possibility.
[01:16:34] Yeah.
[01:16:34] But for this particular question, I don't think so.
[01:16:37] Only because this little indicator right here,
[01:16:39] my wife told me that she sees I am much more direct.
[01:16:44] And usually much more direct means insensitive
[01:16:47] in my experience.
[01:16:49] Why?
[01:16:49] It's don't do good.
[01:16:50] Generally speaking, within sensitivity.
[01:16:53] Less cordial.
[01:16:54] That's another one.
[01:16:55] In my opinion, in my experience, because I'm married.
[01:16:58] Yeah, that's cordial.
[01:16:59] You learn things.
[01:17:01] I'm going to give you an example.
[01:17:02] Something I learned about my wife.
[01:17:06] If my wife, if it isn't on the schedule,
[01:17:09] it's about enough to make my wife get mad.
[01:17:12] So in other words, if I said,
[01:17:15] hey, I'm going away for a month from now,
[01:17:20] I'm going away for six months on a work trip.
[01:17:24] I'll be back when I'm done with those six months.
[01:17:27] And when I'm gone, you're not going to be able to hear from me at all.
[01:17:29] She'd be like, okay, got it.
[01:17:32] When do you leave?
[01:17:33] And I'd say, well, I'm leaving whenever.
[01:17:35] September first.
[01:17:37] And she'd go, okay, she wouldn't be even remotely upset.
[01:17:42] She'd be good to go.
[01:17:44] If it was Friday night.
[01:17:47] And I came home and said, oh, I didn't tell you or Saturday night.
[01:17:53] I said, I didn't tell you, but I'm going over to Echos
[01:17:55] to watch the UFC.
[01:17:59] There's a decent chance that she's mad about that.
[01:18:03] Because she had in her mind that we were going to eat.
[01:18:05] Whatever, we were going out for dinner or whatever.
[01:18:08] But I didn't give the pre-plant situation.
[01:18:12] What if she didn't make a plan for that?
[01:18:14] It was just sort of maybe we could do that.
[01:18:16] But it's not on her.
[01:18:19] It's on me.
[01:18:20] It's on me for not informing her of what was going on.
[01:18:23] Because it doesn't really matter.
[01:18:24] All she knew is that I was coming home.
[01:18:27] And I was going to be around and that was what was happening.
[01:18:29] Yeah.
[01:18:30] Because if anything that is not playing, you know what's really funny?
[01:18:34] This is again with my wife.
[01:18:36] And this is where it became evident to me.
[01:18:38] Even if it's something that is positive for my wife,
[01:18:43] if I don't give her pre-planning cycle on what's going to happen.
[01:18:48] So in other words, if I was flying home and I'd been
[01:18:54] gone for a week and I got home and busted through the door
[01:18:58] and said, hey, I'm on a tail end of a 72 hour fast.
[01:19:02] I'm starving.
[01:19:03] I'm taking you out and I made reservations for this.
[01:19:05] Really nice dinner.
[01:19:06] I'm going to go get some, you know, $200 stake right now.
[01:19:11] There's a chance.
[01:19:14] But the percentage should be 100% she's stoked, right?
[01:19:20] That should be the percentage.
[01:19:22] However, with my wife, there's a 20 to 30% chance that she says,
[01:19:30] you know, I was going to take our daughter to the raffle.
[01:19:37] I don't know.
[01:19:38] Play bingo.
[01:19:39] And like that is enough.
[01:19:41] Yeah.
[01:19:42] And what I don't do is I say, oh, cool, you know what?
[01:19:44] We'll go tomorrow.
[01:19:45] What I don't do is try to impose it.
[01:19:48] So what you're saying is like lack of being cordial.
[01:19:52] What I'm saying is that it's not just like that's one example of me not being cordial.
[01:19:58] So I guess I guess to sum it up, my wife doesn't really like surprises.
[01:20:03] Yeah.
[01:20:04] She likes to have a plan.
[01:20:06] She likes to know what's happening and then she'll execute the plan.
[01:20:11] So that's what you got to be careful of.
[01:20:13] You would you got to be, well, not what you got to be careful of.
[01:20:15] That is one example of how these little things they don't make sense.
[01:20:20] It doesn't make sense that my wife wouldn't be super stoked to go out to an awesome
[01:20:24] stake house.
[01:20:25] That doesn't make sense to anyone.
[01:20:27] That's a superficial thing.
[01:20:28] And let me tell you something else that makes it a little bit tricky.
[01:20:35] Is I'm super insensitive to like changing plans.
[01:20:40] People change plans to me, I'm like, whatever.
[01:20:42] It's no, it's literally no factor.
[01:20:44] Like, oh, oh yeah, we've been planning to do this for six months.
[01:20:47] Someone's like, oh, I can't do it.
[01:20:48] I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
[01:20:49] You know what I mean?
[01:20:50] It means nothing to me.
[01:20:51] When things change, it means nothing.
[01:20:53] It has no impact on me.
[01:20:55] I have no emotional reaction to someone saying, hey, this, we can't do this now.
[01:21:01] I'm like, oh, okay, cool.
[01:21:02] I'm going to do something else.
[01:21:03] Yeah.
[01:21:04] So I'm at the other end of the spectrum, which means it took me a little while to figure
[01:21:09] out that, oh, this makes you mad.
[01:21:13] Yeah, got it.
[01:21:14] Yeah.
[01:21:15] And it's probably something like one level, like under the surface, too.
[01:21:20] It's not like, hey, I had this good, you know, the raffle was, was planning in my head.
[01:21:24] And that raffle's important.
[01:21:26] The raffle's not important.
[01:21:27] Neither is the dinner.
[01:21:28] It's like that part of it on that level is not important.
[01:21:32] It's one level deeper.
[01:21:33] It's the fact that I had to sit my head.
[01:21:35] You didn't tell me this other thing.
[01:21:37] And now like what I had in my head really means nothing.
[01:21:40] Yeah.
[01:21:41] So it's kind of that.
[01:21:42] Here's another funny thing about my wife.
[01:21:46] She's so into the planning thing that if I plan something, it has way more value to
[01:21:54] her.
[01:21:55] So in other words, if I say, hey, when I get back this Friday, I'm going to do a fast
[01:22:01] and I'm going to be super hungry.
[01:22:03] I'm going to make reservations for this Friday.
[01:22:06] And we can go out and get an awesome steak, Tom Hawke, rib eye.
[01:22:13] And like the fact that it was pre-planned, like I've done this before, where I've taken
[01:22:18] her and I've gotten reservations.
[01:22:21] And she'll be like, did you make reservations?
[01:22:24] And I'll say, yes, I'm like, yeah, I did.
[01:22:26] And I can see like a little smile.
[01:22:29] Like I care a little bit more that I made those reservations.
[01:22:32] That's what the spontaneity thing?
[01:22:35] No, no, no points for spontaneity.
[01:22:40] Zero.
[01:22:41] Zero points for spontaneity.
[01:22:42] Only points for pre-planned fires.
[01:22:45] You know what?
[01:22:46] Why?
[01:22:47] Because it's thoughtful.
[01:22:48] Yeah, exactly.
[01:22:49] Yes.
[01:22:50] Yes.
[01:22:51] Yeah, that's good.
[01:22:52] That's an interesting quality.
[01:22:54] And I guess my point in saying this, these things, is that everyone has these little
[01:23:02] personality traits.
[01:23:04] People you work with.
[01:23:06] People you're spouse, your children.
[01:23:08] They have these things.
[01:23:10] And if you figure out what those things are, you can actually utilize them to your advantage
[01:23:17] and you can bypass things that will be problematic.
[01:23:22] And something that you've said too is you say, oh, you do this stuff to me, meaning
[01:23:26] Jocco does, I do some like leadership trick to you.
[01:23:31] And you know that I'm doing it.
[01:23:33] But it's still like it works.
[01:23:36] And it still makes you feel the way that you know it's supposed to make you feel.
[01:23:39] That's my point.
[01:23:40] My wife will listen to this.
[01:23:43] And then I'll make reservations.
[01:23:45] And she'll still be here, even though that she knows that I'm doing it just because
[01:23:48] I know that it's going to be something that makes her happy.
[01:23:51] Yeah.
[01:23:52] So just because you reveal like, hey, I know this is what you're like or whether you
[01:23:56] reveal or not doesn't matter when someone has that characteristic, then you can utilize
[01:24:02] that characteristic.
[01:24:03] And I know that's not the best sounding word to talk about like manipulating my wife's
[01:24:09] emotions.
[01:24:11] But what I want to do is manipulate her emotions to make her feel happy about something
[01:24:16] the right way.
[01:24:17] Not necessarily a bad thing.
[01:24:18] Yeah.
[01:24:19] It's a good thing.
[01:24:20] So be cognizant when you're dealing with other human beings.
[01:24:26] Look for these things.
[01:24:28] You see these things if you take a step back.
[01:24:30] If you don't take a step back, you'll never see them.
[01:24:34] If you can't detach, when you tell your wife something and you see that it makes her
[01:24:39] mad, if you can't detach, if you're talking to an employee and you see that they're getting
[01:24:43] frustrated and you can't detach to try to figure out what that is, you're not going to
[01:24:46] make any real progress.
[01:24:48] Yeah.
[01:24:51] So to direct thing, we'd like to be, or when people are direct to us, it makes things easier
[01:25:00] for us, you know, but doesn't.
[01:25:02] It's way, way, way, who's the way we're talking to.
[01:25:04] Whoever people who are.
[01:25:05] Because here's the deal, man.
[01:25:09] The fact is a very, a very blunt force tool and not many people wield it well and not many
[01:25:20] people receive it well.
[01:25:22] Yeah.
[01:25:23] So if you're one of these people, is that your eye just looked to be direct.
[01:25:26] Right?
[01:25:27] That's not good.
[01:25:29] And very seldom, do you end up in situations where you can just be direct with people?
[01:25:35] You have to have real, strong, built relationships with people where you can just be that
[01:25:43] blunt and direct with them.
[01:25:46] Now there are methodologies where you can be direct without being direct.
[01:25:51] You know, you can say things that are, hey, this is what we need to get done right now.
[01:25:54] You can take an edge off of it.
[01:25:57] You can, and the way you usually do that is by taking your ownership of what it is you're
[01:26:00] trying to make happen.
[01:26:01] So what I don't say is like echo, you need to get this thing edited tonight.
[01:26:05] Yeah.
[01:26:06] Right.
[01:26:07] I don't do that.
[01:26:08] I might say, hey, is there any chance we could get this thing edited tonight?
[01:26:12] Because if we don't, we're going to have a gap in releases which by the way we haven't
[01:26:18] had.
[01:26:19] And that's kind of a thing.
[01:26:21] Yeah.
[01:26:22] You see, even you just kind of know that it's a thing.
[01:26:25] It is, isn't it?
[01:26:26] Right?
[01:26:27] And all of a sudden, you want to edit that thing.
[01:26:29] Not because I told you do, but because you want to keep the gap from opening up.
[01:26:33] Sure.
[01:26:34] So I was, I was directly telling you, but I was indirect.
[01:26:38] Yeah.
[01:26:39] So there's ways to do it.
[01:26:40] But you got to be careful with direct.
[01:26:44] Direct.
[01:26:45] It takes a long time to to hone the scalpel of direct to where it just gets where you
[01:26:52] want to cut and it doesn't leave any collateral damage.
[01:26:56] Not many people would have good at it.
[01:26:58] Every few people are good at it.
[01:27:00] Yeah.
[01:27:01] That's hard.
[01:27:03] Next question.
[01:27:05] Jockel.
[01:27:06] And you know that makes people mad.
[01:27:10] What?
[01:27:11] When you say, listen, you can't just be, you can't just throw to people.
[01:27:14] People want to say, like, there's the book.
[01:27:17] There's a book called Radical Frankness or something like that.
[01:27:24] It's not the name of the book, but it's something like that.
[01:27:26] It's like, hey, we just going to tell the total radical transparency or something like that.
[01:27:31] And it's like, we're just going to tell the truth all the time.
[01:27:34] And we can get there, but man, it is work.
[01:27:39] And it's not even work that has to be that necessarily is the best use of work.
[01:27:51] So yeah, I just know, I just know, I hear people all the time.
[01:27:54] Well, you know, and people, that's what people want me to say.
[01:27:56] I'm going to work with a company that like, you know, what we really need help, what's
[01:27:59] we just need to really learn to be direct with each other.
[01:28:01] Yeah.
[01:28:02] And what they really should be saying is what we need to do is we need to learn to communicate
[01:28:07] with each other, be open about what issues we have, how to solve those problems, and be
[01:28:14] more tactful in our discussions so that people are receptive.
[01:28:18] Yeah.
[01:28:19] Because think about what I just said, if it's not just about me being direct, the more
[01:28:26] important, the only way that I can be direct is if I have set you up in such a way that
[01:28:35] you or I've built you in such a way that you're receptive to my directness.
[01:28:41] Because me being direct without you being receptive, it doesn't work.
[01:28:46] And so often that's what I see.
[01:28:48] I see, hey, I'm direct, but you're not receptive.
[01:28:53] It's, it's game over.
[01:28:55] So even if I'm direct, I'm only 50% of the solution because you have to be receptive.
[01:29:01] What's easier when I, when I go indirect, I become 90% of the solution because I'm going
[01:29:08] to get it into your brain without resistance.
[01:29:11] So I, it's an easier, it's easier upfront as me.
[01:29:14] I'll just be direct.
[01:29:16] That's easy upfront because I just say echo, you're going to get this stuff edited.
[01:29:21] Now, that's direct.
[01:29:22] One of the chances of you being receptive to that, 50%?
[01:29:27] You know, whereas if I, well, let me rephrase that.
[01:29:31] In order for this to be effective, you have to be receptive to it.
[01:29:35] So I only have 50% of the solution.
[01:29:38] You have the other 50%.
[01:29:40] Whereas if I say, like I said before, you know, hey, echo, is there any chance we could get
[01:29:45] this done tonight because here's what's at stake and I go indirect and I make that idea.
[01:29:49] I make your answer, you're going to give me the answer.
[01:29:52] I want, I know it can be edited tonight, right?
[01:29:56] I know that.
[01:29:57] It makes it.
[01:29:59] And so I'm going to, you're actually going to tell me, I'm putting it into, I'm giving
[01:30:05] you to all you have to do is just tell me.
[01:30:07] And now I'm the one that's receptive.
[01:30:08] Yes, we can.
[01:30:09] Oh, that's great.
[01:30:11] That's great.
[01:30:12] I'm glad.
[01:30:16] So that's something very important to talk about.
[01:30:18] If you want to talk about learning to be direct to with each other, what you really have
[01:30:22] to learn is how to be receptive to directness.
[01:30:25] That's the, that's the long pole in the tent.
[01:30:29] That's what organizations are missing out on.
[01:30:31] Being direct as easy.
[01:30:34] Being direct as the easiest thing in the world.
[01:30:37] You've tell people what you think.
[01:30:39] That's easy.
[01:30:41] What's hard is setting the other person up, developing a relationship so that they're receptive
[01:30:45] to what you're saying.
[01:30:46] Be careful.
[01:30:48] You just play football back in the day.
[01:30:51] And this new quarterback came in.
[01:30:54] What's weird is I forget his name.
[01:30:56] I'm just drawing a blank right now.
[01:30:58] But new young guy tall, any of it gun.
[01:31:01] If you're quarterback and you have a gun, that's impressive.
[01:31:04] Yeah, for sure.
[01:31:05] Means you throw far and fast.
[01:31:07] Here's the thing, though.
[01:31:10] Especially when you're new and you have a gun, you're going to show that gun.
[01:31:14] You're going to be like, when you're playing, when you're warming up before practices and
[01:31:17] stuff like that, you're throwing it hard.
[01:31:19] So this guy was throwing it hard at me.
[01:31:21] I was a receiver.
[01:31:23] It was just standing.
[01:31:24] We were just standing there.
[01:31:25] I wasn't running around.
[01:31:26] So he's throwing it and it's hurting my hand.
[01:31:29] To the point where I couldn't catch some of them because they were coming just too fast.
[01:31:33] For that distance, whatever.
[01:31:35] And, sure, I was impressed with this guy's gun.
[01:31:39] But when we run routes and stuff, he'd still kind of do that.
[01:31:43] I guess maybe to impress the coaches.
[01:31:45] He's a young guy, whatever.
[01:31:48] Here's the thing people would miss his balls.
[01:31:50] They wouldn't catch him because they're coming too hard.
[01:31:52] They're hurting your hands.
[01:31:54] Messing you up.
[01:31:55] So it makes it really hard.
[01:31:57] I get it.
[01:31:58] It's great practice for the receivers.
[01:31:59] Totally is.
[01:32:00] But as far as to effectively land a pass, you know, to complete a pass.
[01:32:05] Right.
[01:32:06] To the work like this.
[01:32:07] And we had this other quarter-long echo.
[01:32:08] Let me just stop you because you may have just made the best analogies that ever made
[01:32:13] on this podcast.
[01:32:14] That is it.
[01:32:15] Cool.
[01:32:16] If you can throw that thing direct, but if you're throwing it too hard and the person's
[01:32:20] not ready to receive it, not even to mention that you might not be ready to read
[01:32:24] you might be looking in the other direction.
[01:32:25] That they'll hit you in the back of the head.
[01:32:27] What good is that direct comment?
[01:32:29] It's zero good.
[01:32:30] It's not good.
[01:32:32] Hurting your hands.
[01:32:33] When you try it, it receives it.
[01:32:34] It hurts you.
[01:32:35] And you don't want to hear anymore.
[01:32:36] You want it anymore to be thrown at you.
[01:32:38] Nope.
[01:32:39] Okay.
[01:32:40] Proceed.
[01:32:41] There's other quarterback who came in from Stanford, but your hard work is paying off.
[01:32:45] That's it.
[01:32:46] Thanks.
[01:32:47] I knew it would.
[01:32:49] So, is that the quarterback came in?
[01:32:50] That quarterback make it anywhere.
[01:32:52] Did he make it?
[01:32:53] He did not make it to the NFL.
[01:32:55] So, it's like quarterback came in.
[01:32:56] His name is Tim Kerry.
[01:32:57] He came from Stanford.
[01:32:59] And he came in.
[01:33:00] He was the opposite.
[01:33:01] Actually not the opposite.
[01:33:02] Because he had a guy.
[01:33:03] He could throw far enough.
[01:33:04] But the way he threw it was like, it was like the perfect pass.
[01:33:09] And every distance had a different velocity on it.
[01:33:11] It was like that kind where the next, if it would modulate it, it was so well.
[01:33:18] He modulated so well where it was.
[01:33:19] Where it was.
[01:33:20] For those chances.
[01:33:21] Correctness.
[01:33:22] Oh, yeah.
[01:33:23] Everything.
[01:33:24] And for them to get better, he would have to physically walk it and put it in your hand.
[01:33:28] It was like that.
[01:33:29] Good.
[01:33:30] When it come, you know.
[01:33:32] And when you have them side by side, oh man.
[01:33:35] I want that direct guy.
[01:33:37] Want a finesse guy.
[01:33:39] No.
[01:33:40] But he did have the capability.
[01:33:41] He did have the capability.
[01:33:42] Did he get to the NFL?
[01:33:43] I, maybe.
[01:33:45] I forget.
[01:33:46] He left Stanford to come to your college.
[01:33:48] Oh, I forget why.
[01:33:49] But I think it was a whole thing.
[01:33:52] There was a few Stanford guys that came.
[01:33:54] Yeah.
[01:33:55] That's interesting.
[01:33:56] A few guys from Stanford that came to your school.
[01:33:59] They didn't.
[01:34:00] Yeah.
[01:34:01] It was doing it.
[01:34:02] I want to say when we changed coaching staffs.
[01:34:04] Oh, they might have been some scouts connections.
[01:34:07] Maybe like some relationships that were already there.
[01:34:09] Even some of the coaches I think came from that area.
[01:34:12] I don't know.
[01:34:13] I forget that was a long time ago.
[01:34:14] But nonetheless, yeah.
[01:34:16] That's what it shook out.
[01:34:18] Check out.
[01:34:19] So there you go.
[01:34:21] Jocco.
[01:34:22] 13 year street cop here.
[01:34:26] My old man died when I was 10.
[01:34:27] It cut deep and I grew up with no one.
[01:34:30] Having two boys on my own now and loving to get after it on the street.
[01:34:34] I worry about the risk.
[01:34:37] How do I balance being the spear with ensuring I stay around for that?
[01:34:45] So first of all, we have to recognize that there's no way that you can ensure that you
[01:34:50] stay around.
[01:34:53] And in fact, one day you will not be around.
[01:34:55] One day none of us will be around.
[01:34:57] That's the fact.
[01:34:59] And that actually doesn't matter what your job is.
[01:35:04] And there's all kinds of things.
[01:35:06] Regardless of your job, whether you have a car accident, whether you have a heart attack,
[01:35:09] whether you have cancer or a plane crash or a random violence or some random accident,
[01:35:14] there's all different kind of ways to die.
[01:35:16] Now, you are correct that the death rate of cops is higher.
[01:35:23] It's higher than a normal civilian.
[01:35:26] But what, like, loggers, construction workers, they all have higher rates of death than a cop,
[01:35:33] roofers, roofers.
[01:35:38] If you're a roofer, you have a higher rate of death than a cop.
[01:35:41] Any drivers, anyone that drives for a living, whether they're a trucker or whether they're
[01:35:46] literally a traveling salesman, they have a higher rate of death than being police.
[01:35:54] So no matter what you do, there's a chance that you could die.
[01:36:00] And I'll tell you what, I think about this sometime in the reverse of what scares you about
[01:36:06] what your kids do.
[01:36:07] If your kids are engaging in activity that could be dangerous, whether it's parachuting,
[01:36:12] whether it's rock climbing, whatever.
[01:36:14] Like there's things that your kids could do that they could die.
[01:36:19] What you could do is not allow them to do it, wrap them in bubble, bubble wrap and not
[01:36:26] allow them to go anywhere.
[01:36:28] And guess what, even if you do that, there's still a chance.
[01:36:32] And you've taken away their growth.
[01:36:36] So you can look at it in the reverse as well, that there's some things that you're not
[01:36:41] going to be able to control.
[01:36:44] And no matter what, you're a kid, you could say, I don't want my kid to join the military
[01:36:48] and so they go to college and what happens in college.
[01:36:51] They get hit by a job driver.
[01:36:53] They, like there's enough bad things that can happen in either one of those situations.
[01:36:58] And same thing with you and your job.
[01:37:00] You could go get a job doing something, unless you get a job that's just straight up,
[01:37:05] in an administrative situation with no, with very limited commute and very limited driving,
[01:37:13] then that might increase your chance a little bit.
[01:37:16] But then you know, then are you doing something that you actually like to do?
[01:37:22] So there's your dilemma.
[01:37:24] So what do you do in a situation like this?
[01:37:26] What you do is you train and you prepare and you vigilant and you take care of your
[01:37:31] sons.
[01:37:32] Obviously, and you explain your job to them and you explain to them why you train hard
[01:37:37] and explain to them, why you're willing to make a sacrifice to keep others safe, including
[01:37:45] them.
[01:37:46] You work every day to keep them safe as well.
[01:37:50] And if you explain that to your sons, they will grow up with an understanding of service
[01:38:01] and discipline and duty and courage and honor.
[01:38:09] And by the way, if something did happen to you, the model that you set for them would have
[01:38:20] massive impact would have massive impact on them and how they would live their lives.
[01:38:29] And I believe it would be actually a positive impact.
[01:38:32] Sure, would they miss you absolutely?
[01:38:35] Sure, would they wish more than anything that you could be back?
[01:38:38] Yes, but would they recognize that their dad made this sacrifice?
[01:38:43] Yes, they would.
[01:38:45] Would they live to honor that sacrifice?
[01:38:47] Yes, they would.
[01:38:49] So that's one thing you can do if you want to keep that profession.
[01:38:58] Now if that, if you can't get around that, if that doesn't make sense, which it's understandable,
[01:39:03] if you look at me and say, hey, doggle, I get it.
[01:39:05] I want my kids to be raised with honor, but I'd want to be there, and that's more important
[01:39:09] to me.
[01:39:10] And if that's where you end up, then what you have to do is plot out what another job, what
[01:39:17] another career is going to be.
[01:39:19] And like I said, then you have to make it doing something that legitimately gets you into
[01:39:25] a better survival rate, which by the way, outlaws just about every outdoor job you could
[01:39:34] have.
[01:39:35] If you work in construction, nope, that's not it.
[01:39:40] Working as the lecturers, nope, that's not it.
[01:39:41] Working as alignment, nope, that's not it.
[01:39:44] All those jobs, all those outdoor jobs go look at this statistics, go Google, death rates
[01:39:50] in jobs.
[01:39:51] And there's all kinds of fishermen.
[01:39:53] No, forget about it.
[01:39:56] There's so many jobs that have a high death rate where accidents happen.
[01:40:00] So what you're talking about going into the life you're going into would be going into
[01:40:05] would be an administrative job of some kind.
[01:40:10] And if you think you can do that, and you think that'll be, give you the satisfaction that
[01:40:14] you want, then it's a possibility.
[01:40:17] Think about it.
[01:40:18] But if you look at it and you think you know what, that's not for me.
[01:40:23] Then, train hard to prepare, build a great relationship with your sons.
[01:40:28] They vigilant, don't get complacent ever.
[01:40:33] And be aggressive.
[01:40:34] But have to throw that one in there because in my opinion, when an individual gets scared
[01:40:46] or gets hesitant or gets overprotective of themselves, I believe they're in more danger,
[01:40:51] not less danger in more danger.
[01:40:53] So if you think that having kids, having your sons is making you less aggressive and more
[01:41:01] scared, I think you're at higher risk.
[01:41:07] So if you're going to do the job, you do the job.
[01:41:10] You get aggressive when you do the job.
[01:41:13] And if you can't, then you might want to look and see if there's other alternatives that
[01:41:20] are out there.
[01:41:21] And I would say, is this how often, like your street copy, you've been there for 13 years,
[01:41:27] is there another department you could go to?
[01:41:29] Is there some other way to serve and stay connected?
[01:41:33] Use your experience in another way.
[01:41:37] Maybe one area that has a little less probability of getting killed.
[01:41:44] Again, you got to look if that's something you really want to do.
[01:41:47] So ultimately, and I tell this to people, a lot is there's only one person that can make
[01:41:52] this decision, and it's not me.
[01:41:54] The only person that can make this decision is you.
[01:41:56] So think through it, be thoughtful.
[01:41:58] You can even talk about it with your boys, depending on how old they are.
[01:42:04] But you can talk about it with them, explain to them.
[01:42:08] And you know, see what they say?
[01:42:12] So obviously, there's one way that conversation go, hey, would you guys be sit?
[01:42:18] Would you guys want me to die?
[01:42:19] Right?
[01:42:20] Of course.
[01:42:21] What are they going to say?
[01:42:22] Oh my gosh, quit that job immediately.
[01:42:23] We don't want you to do that.
[01:42:26] So you're going to have to think about what the ages of your kids are.
[01:42:30] But you're going to have to think through that one whether or how you address it with them.
[01:42:33] But certainly, I always look at it that there's risk at everything you do.
[01:42:41] The money will take risk doing something that you love doing, and that you know is helping
[01:42:45] other people.
[01:42:46] And you know a setting a good example for your boys.
[01:42:50] And if that doesn't make sense, cool, find a different job.
[01:42:56] Next question.
[01:42:58] I was young by living in a foster home and was sexually assaulted by my foster father,
[01:43:03] and sometimes other people over a course of a couple of years.
[01:43:07] I was eventually adopted.
[01:43:08] And what had happened to me was never discussed and I never got out for it.
[01:43:12] I was afraid of everything.
[01:43:13] And eventually, I played sports and ice-cream, felt less afraid.
[01:43:17] Went into the army and felt completely unaffraid of anything.
[01:43:20] When I got out, I got on to a long-term relationship.
[01:43:24] I told my then girlfriend, what had happened to me?
[01:43:27] She was the first person I ever told about this.
[01:43:29] She convinced me to reach out to my foster parents.
[01:43:31] And I did.
[01:43:32] And it was a total disaster.
[01:43:34] They kept my room where all this bad stuff had happened exactly the same as it was 20 years prior
[01:43:41] when these horrors had occurred.
[01:43:44] I had my moment to confront this monster that had done this to me.
[01:43:49] And I failed.
[01:43:50] I used a word that he always said to me, which was, I used a word that he always said
[01:43:55] to me when he was assaulting me.
[01:43:57] He just said, sometimes people change.
[01:44:01] All of a sudden, I was a weak young boy again.
[01:44:05] And I couldn't fight back.
[01:44:06] I left the house and had serious self-doubt.
[01:44:09] Eventually I became a cop.
[01:44:11] And then a detective in a faced all types of bad people from junkies to murders.
[01:44:17] I even get full confessions out of child rapists.
[01:44:20] I'm sick of my stomach afterwards.
[01:44:23] It's terrible to hear what these animals do.
[01:44:27] My question is this.
[01:44:28] Recently the past has come back with a vengeance.
[01:44:31] I can't get through a short time, maybe an hour or two without thinking about the past
[01:44:35] and my failure.
[01:44:37] The only time I have peace is when I absolutely destroyed myself working out.
[01:44:42] I consider it punishing myself and feel better when I do it.
[01:44:45] How can I stop this or at least manage it better?
[01:44:52] So this is, I mean, obviously horrible situation and horrible that you had to live through
[01:45:02] this and that any kid or any one, any human would have to go through this, as far as
[01:45:11] how you can manage this better.
[01:45:14] I'm going to go a little bit here.
[01:45:18] So one of the blocks of training that we go through in a seal platoon is called close
[01:45:27] quarters combat.
[01:45:29] And this is the training you're in a thing called the kill house.
[01:45:33] It's ballistic walls.
[01:45:34] There's targets in there.
[01:45:36] You're moving around dynamically.
[01:45:37] You're shooting live fire ammunition.
[01:45:39] There's people.
[01:45:41] Six inches away from you.
[01:45:42] You're taking really close shots.
[01:45:45] There's a lot of pressure in there.
[01:45:48] There's a lot of details, a lot of standard operating procedures and safety procedures that
[01:45:52] you have to follow.
[01:45:53] There's a lot of process.
[01:45:54] It's like, do you need to go left or right?
[01:45:57] Is that a good guy or a bad guy?
[01:45:58] Because you have to identify the targets.
[01:46:00] Should you move or should you stay?
[01:46:03] How do you communicate that you need to move?
[01:46:05] Should you shoot or should you not shoot at a target?
[01:46:08] And so there's all these things going on when you enter a room.
[01:46:12] All these things that you have to go through.
[01:46:16] All these steps that you have to take, all these procedures that you have to follow.
[01:46:20] All these decisions that you have to make.
[01:46:21] And it all happens in a split second.
[01:46:24] And so in a kill house, the training cadre is actually above you.
[01:46:32] It's not a normal house.
[01:46:34] The rooms have what we call catwalks above them.
[01:46:37] So the cadre can be up above you in the catwalks and they're walking around and
[01:46:42] they're watching you very closely.
[01:46:44] It's like watching a football game on TV.
[01:46:47] You're seeing it from the perfect view above the person.
[01:46:50] And they're in the room with you, but they're not in your way at all because they're
[01:46:53] up on the catwalk.
[01:46:55] So what happens is when a room entry happens, there's a lot of, you catch a lot of critique
[01:47:02] from the people in the catwalk.
[01:47:06] And they'll say, you could, you could have done this or you could have done that or you
[01:47:11] could have moved left or you should have pushed forward.
[01:47:13] There's, you know, you, it would be better if you'd done this other thing.
[01:47:16] So there's all these different things.
[01:47:18] And when my cadre was running it, you know, that's what we do.
[01:47:21] That's what happened to me when I was cadre.
[01:47:23] That's what I would do.
[01:47:24] That's what everyone does.
[01:47:27] And at some point, I kind of realized that all that stuff is good.
[01:47:31] And I get it.
[01:47:32] Like you've got to get people to run the procedures correctly.
[01:47:35] But in a certain point, what I would tell, like after a guy was kind of beat down,
[01:47:42] like you just couldn't get something right or you would, you know, punch people,
[01:47:45] jump on him about a decision that he made or a movement that he made or whatever.
[01:47:51] And I'm not talking about safety things.
[01:47:53] Because the safety thing is different.
[01:47:54] I'm talking about a tactical decision.
[01:47:56] And when you walk into a room, there's a bunch of tactical decisions you can make.
[01:47:59] And if there's, 10, if there's five different decisions that you could make when you walk into
[01:48:04] a room, there's something that there's, you know, there's one way of doing it that would
[01:48:09] be like really clean, one would be a little bit less.
[01:48:12] One might be just as clean as the first one, but it's a different attitude.
[01:48:15] There's just all these different decisions that you could make.
[01:48:20] You know, it's like just a multitude of ways that you could react.
[01:48:26] Because that's what this question is.
[01:48:27] How you reacted in this situation.
[01:48:30] And eventually, as I would see this with an individual, I would eventually, I, what
[01:48:37] I would tell guys is, listen, you did what you did.
[01:48:47] You did what you did.
[01:48:49] That's what you did.
[01:48:51] That's the decision that you made at the time.
[01:48:54] And you know what?
[01:48:56] There's different ways you could have done it.
[01:48:57] You don't like the way you did it.
[01:48:58] I don't like the way you did it.
[01:49:01] Someone, one of the other cadre members doesn't like the way you did it.
[01:49:04] It doesn't, what I'm saying, it doesn't really matter.
[01:49:06] First of all, you can't take it back.
[01:49:08] You can't go back and undo it.
[01:49:11] And by the way, you don't get to rehearse these things to a point where you get to do this
[01:49:15] perfectly.
[01:49:16] Because you won't be able to do that.
[01:49:18] If you rehearsed a move in a room that you had seen before and you rehearsed it 10 times,
[01:49:23] that's not, that's a totally different game.
[01:49:25] Right?
[01:49:26] If I already know what the room consists of, and I'm going to rehearse and choreograph
[01:49:30] the entire movement, that's a different game.
[01:49:32] That's not decision making.
[01:49:33] That's just, that's just rope memorization.
[01:49:35] We're not talking about that.
[01:49:37] We're talking about how did you react and what you did is what you did and you did it
[01:49:42] for a reason.
[01:49:43] What you saw in front of you, you made this decision for a reason.
[01:49:48] Maybe you saw a threat when there wasn't one there or you lost situational awareness
[01:49:53] or you rushed, you went too fast, you tried to rush and all those things can kind of
[01:49:58] trip you up.
[01:50:00] But that's what you did and you did what you did and you can't take it back.
[01:50:03] Instead of everyone sitting there saying you should have done this and you should have done
[01:50:06] that, let's do this.
[01:50:10] Let's see what we can learn from it.
[01:50:13] Let's see why you did what you did.
[01:50:17] Let's see why you made that decision.
[01:50:20] Because once we know why you did something, now we have something that we can work with,
[01:50:26] we have something that we can improve upon.
[01:50:33] That is what I think you need to do in this situation.
[01:50:39] And really when anyone makes a mistake or has a reaction that they don't like, you can't
[01:50:45] worry, you can't continue to worry about something that is already transpired, what you
[01:50:49] have to do is you have to look at and say what can I learn from it?
[01:50:55] What can I take from this and how can I take this mistake and make me better?
[01:51:03] So you could look at this.
[01:51:04] Why did you do that?
[01:51:07] Maybe you did it because you didn't want to open up these old wounds.
[01:51:11] Maybe you did it because you would have confronting this individual would have caused
[01:51:16] more drama and that drama, you at that moment, you assessed and said, you know what?
[01:51:21] This drama isn't worth it.
[01:51:24] Maybe you protected yourself from more drama and that was your instinct.
[01:51:30] Maybe if you were to start confronting this guy and go and crazy, who knows what could
[01:51:34] happen and maybe it could have taken a turn for us?
[01:51:37] We don't know what the outcome was.
[01:51:39] We know that you weren't happy with your decision, understandable, but we don't even know
[01:51:43] what the other decisions were to lead to.
[01:51:45] So you're actually getting bogged down and distraught about something that you don't even
[01:51:50] know if it was a good decision or a bad decision.
[01:51:52] It feels like it was a bad decision, but you don't know what the outcome is of the other
[01:51:55] decisions even were.
[01:51:59] So you can't change the outcome of what happened in the past.
[01:52:03] You can't do it.
[01:52:07] But what you can do is you can grow from it.
[01:52:09] That's what you can do.
[01:52:12] You can learn from it.
[01:52:13] You can actually take that scenario and you can mentally replay it in your head and you can
[01:52:19] figure out if possibly their would have been or could have been a better outcome.
[01:52:25] Or maybe that that outcome that you had wasn't that bad.
[01:52:29] Maybe it leads somewhere else.
[01:52:30] We don't know yet.
[01:52:34] But that's where you are at right now.
[01:52:39] You can't change the outcome of something that has occurred in the past.
[01:52:46] Now I'm going to throw a little dichotomy at you right now.
[01:52:50] And I'm going to say something that's a little bit might be a little bit hard to understand
[01:52:56] I'm going to try and talk my way through it.
[01:53:00] Because while you can't change the past, what you can change is you can absolutely change
[01:53:09] the way that the past is perceived.
[01:53:16] So let me give you a detached example.
[01:53:19] Just another example.
[01:53:20] If you had an individual, someone gets fired from a job.
[01:53:25] They get fired from their job and when they get fired from the job, it what it does is
[01:53:32] their confidence goes down and they get depressed and they decide they're not going to
[01:53:36] apply for a new job because I don't even know if I deserve it to get a new job and they
[01:53:39] sit around and eventually they go on apply for kind of like a lesser job.
[01:53:46] And you know who knows, maybe they start drinking to relieve some of their depression and
[01:53:50] now they're late and now they end up on a downward spiral.
[01:53:54] He would look at them being fired as something that destroyed them in ruining their life.
[01:54:01] That's how we would perceive it.
[01:54:03] Hey, the individual got, they were, they were doing fine.
[01:54:06] Then they got fired and now they lost their confidence and got depressed.
[01:54:09] They started drinking.
[01:54:10] They didn't apply for good jobs.
[01:54:12] And now their life is totally different and it's a bad place.
[01:54:16] We would perceive that them getting fired did that to them.
[01:54:23] But if that person, if a person got fired from their job and in, in steady, was like
[01:54:28] a wake up call for them.
[01:54:31] And they immediately applied for a bunch of other jobs and maybe they didn't get those
[01:54:36] because they had just been fired but maybe they took a lesser job, a lower paying job but
[01:54:40] they got in there and they had realized they had made a mistake and they started getting
[01:54:44] after that like they never gotten after it before.
[01:54:48] They started working as hard as they possibly could and got promoted and they got
[01:54:52] promoted again and just dominated in those positions and went even harder and dominated
[01:54:58] even more and eventually took over their whole company.
[01:55:03] And this isn't crazy.
[01:55:04] This isn't too far fetched.
[01:55:06] This can happen.
[01:55:07] But if that happened, that same incident, the firing of this individual would be perceived
[01:55:15] in a totally different way.
[01:55:16] It would be perceived as a catalyst that changed their life for the better.
[01:55:26] And there are all kinds of examples like that in the world.
[01:55:34] The past can't be changed.
[01:55:39] What the past can change you for the better or it can change you for the worse and my
[01:55:47] question is why not make it for the better?
[01:55:54] Why not make the past change you for the better?
[01:55:57] You hear the term narrative thrown around these days, especially like in political circles
[01:56:05] you'll hear it on the news that narratives they're created in the political arena.
[01:56:13] And what the narrative does is it supports an overarching aim or an overarching value or an
[01:56:21] overarching goal.
[01:56:24] That's the way people use the term narrative right now.
[01:56:28] But I'm not talking about that type of political narrative.
[01:56:33] What I'm saying here is that you actually write the narrative of what happened in your past.
[01:56:44] I'm not talking about a fabrication of it.
[01:56:46] I'm talking you get the right, the narrative of where it takes you.
[01:56:50] You get to write the narrative, you get to write the reality of where you end up.
[01:56:57] You get to write it.
[01:57:01] You get to control it.
[01:57:06] So what I'm saying is control it.
[01:57:11] Get control of that narrative.
[01:57:15] Take control of that narrative.
[01:57:18] That horrible story in your past ends the way that you want it to end.
[01:57:24] You control the narrative.
[01:57:27] You control that story.
[01:57:28] You'll make that story good.
[01:57:34] Make that story epic.
[01:57:36] Make that story and make the direction that your life goes.
[01:57:42] Make it.
[01:57:44] And really.
[01:57:53] And that's how I think you can get control.
[01:57:58] Or maybe handle better some of that horrific stuff that you've been through.
[01:58:09] And I think that's all I've got for tonight.
[01:58:14] So echo Charles speaking of being heroic speaking of controlling our own narrative
[01:58:25] of the past of the present of the future.
[01:58:28] What can we do to write that heroic story for ourselves?
[01:58:36] Yes.
[01:58:37] Well, let's start with the path.
[01:58:41] We're staying on the path.
[01:58:42] We're going to get on the path.
[01:58:44] We're going to be on the path.
[01:58:46] So part of the path is due to, of course, like we've said many times.
[01:58:51] You're going to need a key.
[01:58:52] What do you get?
[01:58:53] I got to interview the other day.
[01:58:55] Cool.
[01:58:56] And the guy kind of sets up this kind of big question.
[01:59:02] He says, you know, in this day and age.
[01:59:04] And I'm not going to do injustice.
[01:59:05] He was a great question.
[01:59:06] It was a nice question.
[01:59:07] I get it.
[01:59:08] And I'm not going to do this eloquently as he did it.
[01:59:12] But the question was about, you know, in this day and age, when men and it was one of those
[01:59:19] like men like type things.
[01:59:22] If they're in age when men can be isolated and can get depressed and don't have
[01:59:27] meaning and all this stuff.
[01:59:29] What do you recommend to men that feel that way, that feel isolated and feel alone
[01:59:34] and feel depressed and feel like they don't have meaning in their life and feel like
[01:59:37] they can't connect with anyone.
[01:59:38] And I was like, oh, cool.
[01:59:39] Yeah, go to Gigietsu classes.
[01:59:41] And I felt bad because they wanted me to give like the big, profound thing about where
[01:59:49] the find meaning in your life.
[01:59:52] And what I said was, yeah, start training Gigietsu because the thing that you grab me
[01:59:55] with is like, oh, you want, you want to have a goal, you want to have meaning, you want
[01:59:59] to connect with people, you don't want to be alone, loneliness and all this stuff.
[02:00:02] I'm like, yeah, yeah, go change Gigietsu.
[02:00:04] Oh, there's problems.
[02:00:05] Get solved right there.
[02:00:06] Right.
[02:00:07] All of a sudden, you got people to hang out with.
[02:00:08] You got a mission.
[02:00:09] You got fitness going on.
[02:00:11] You got meaning.
[02:00:12] It's all kinds of good stuff going on.
[02:00:14] Yeah.
[02:00:15] So go train some Gigietsu is what I'm saying.
[02:00:17] Yeah.
[02:00:18] So start, that's one of those deals to with, you like, you leave Gigietsu with something.
[02:00:24] I'm not just fitness and better health and stuff.
[02:00:27] You leave with like a skill that just feeds into your whole soul, especially man,
[02:00:32] manliness thing, man, the capability to defeat another man.
[02:00:38] Yeah.
[02:00:39] And we'll have to see we'll check in with some of our females because when I talk to our
[02:00:44] female Gigietsu practitioners, they might even feel a little bit better because they
[02:00:50] get to like choke men.
[02:00:53] No doubt about it.
[02:00:54] So yeah.
[02:00:56] Yeah.
[02:00:57] So what we're saying basically is try training some Gigietsu.
[02:01:00] Look, is it a cure all?
[02:01:01] Yeah.
[02:01:02] Kind of.
[02:01:03] Yeah, little bit.
[02:01:04] For certain people in certain situations, I think, yeah, I think so.
[02:01:08] I have a feeling when I leave Gigietsu after I get done training.
[02:01:13] That I feel good.
[02:01:14] Yes, sir.
[02:01:15] Just think about that.
[02:01:17] Just think about think if I gave you a pill that said, oh, if you just take this pill, you'll
[02:01:20] feel good.
[02:01:21] You just, you just roundlead, you'll just feel good.
[02:01:25] But there's no, in fact, the only side effects are that you'll be a little healthier
[02:01:29] and you'll have a quality skill that you can utilize in the real world.
[02:01:36] Just take this pill.
[02:01:37] Would you take the pill?
[02:01:39] Who wouldn't?
[02:01:41] What I'm saying is you get to go to Gigietsu.
[02:01:44] Is it harder than taking a pill?
[02:01:46] Sure.
[02:01:47] But is it harder to eat a staker to eat a pill?
[02:01:50] Stake.
[02:01:51] Technically, it's harder to eat a staker.
[02:01:53] Which one would you rather do?
[02:01:54] Eat a staker.
[02:01:55] I'd rather eat a staker.
[02:01:56] I'd rather change a Gigietsu than take a pill.
[02:01:58] Me too.
[02:01:59] So get on that train.
[02:02:00] But you just do train.
[02:02:01] Get on the Gigietsu train.
[02:02:02] And you're going to do Gianno Gigi.
[02:02:03] So what kind of Gigiet to get?
[02:02:04] You get the best Gigi.
[02:02:06] Question.
[02:02:07] I realized I like dramatically interrupting you sometimes.
[02:02:10] Good.
[02:02:11] I dig it to sometimes.
[02:02:12] So Gigi, origin.
[02:02:17] OriginMain.com.
[02:02:18] This is where you can get your Gigi.
[02:02:21] Many different options.
[02:02:23] They come out with new ones as pretty cool.
[02:02:25] It's very creative with that stuff.
[02:02:28] I encourage P to continue that creativity.
[02:02:30] And keep it on that level as well.
[02:02:32] Anyway.
[02:02:33] Don't encourage him.
[02:02:34] Not an encourage.
[02:02:35] All encourage and compliment as well.
[02:02:38] So yes, originMain.com.
[02:02:40] You can get a rash card too if you want.
[02:02:43] Also some shirts on there, some joggers and whatnot.
[02:02:47] Supplements as well.
[02:02:49] What about just for what if you're going to go see a movie?
[02:02:52] Can you wear your Gitu a movie?
[02:02:53] Oh well.
[02:02:56] No.
[02:02:57] Okay.
[02:02:58] Can you wear your Gitu a dinner date with your wife?
[02:03:02] No.
[02:03:03] I know.
[02:03:04] You can't.
[02:03:05] So what do we do with origin then?
[02:03:06] All right.
[02:03:07] Well, the good news is we got some American denim.
[02:03:11] We got jeans.
[02:03:13] Yeah, origin jeans.
[02:03:15] Boom.
[02:03:16] Yeah, those are good man.
[02:03:17] Those came out really, really good.
[02:03:18] I think those are going to go to go places.
[02:03:22] This one I will give Pete some leeway for his creativity.
[02:03:29] Or if.
[02:03:30] Because he did this thing with the yoke of the jeans.
[02:03:32] You know the yoke is?
[02:03:33] No.
[02:03:34] It's like right below the waistband.
[02:03:37] And there's two types of different yokes you can have.
[02:03:39] Reverse yoke or regular yoke, I guess it's called.
[02:03:42] Anyways, it makes it so that the pants fit a certain way.
[02:03:46] And then he lined up the tops of the pockets with the reverse yoke, which means that
[02:03:51] they're slanted a little bit.
[02:03:53] Like the old school Vietnam pockets.
[02:03:57] So anyways, that's cool.
[02:04:00] They're legit.
[02:04:01] Yeah, they're just like a little bit.
[02:04:03] You know what I got there and tails going on.
[02:04:05] I'm gathering that you're starting to appreciate Pete's fashion sense.
[02:04:08] That's what I'm gathering.
[02:04:09] Great.
[02:04:10] You're saying occasionally, no, no, no, no, because here's the deal.
[02:04:13] The pockets because they're at a little angle, they're easier to get your hand
[02:04:18] in an out of, which what I'm saying is there is a functionality.
[02:04:24] Because if it wasn't functional, I wouldn't be talking about it right now.
[02:04:27] No.
[02:04:28] Because we don't talk about things like that.
[02:04:29] But they look dope this one saying.
[02:04:31] Yeah, thank you, sir.
[02:04:34] And appreciate that on a lot of things.
[02:04:35] I think Pete did it not for functionality.
[02:04:37] I think Pete did it because it looked cool.
[02:04:40] And then I commend his creativity because not because it looked cool, but because it
[02:04:47] provides a level of functionality that does not previously exist in jeans anywhere.
[02:04:52] Boom.
[02:04:53] So I agree with you.
[02:04:55] I agree with the whole deal, the whole gig and man.
[02:04:58] Yeah, yeah.
[02:04:59] Those are good American denim.
[02:05:01] But they're all made in America.
[02:05:02] Yes.
[02:05:03] The cotton is made in America.
[02:05:04] Grown.
[02:05:05] What about the things that you put, you're fast in the, you're waste with the buttons?
[02:05:09] Yeah, the buttons.
[02:05:10] We're in buttons in.
[02:05:13] Just look at a picture of the buttons.
[02:05:15] That's enough to be like all sold to begin with.
[02:05:18] They're pretty dope.
[02:05:19] They're very dope.
[02:05:20] Actually, plus we got supplements as you were just about to say.
[02:05:22] Yes, supplements.
[02:05:23] Important supplements.
[02:05:24] Not this mega mast.
[02:05:26] What was that one from old school?
[02:05:28] Mega mast.
[02:05:29] I don't know.
[02:05:30] It was a big number.
[02:05:31] The last, not like that.
[02:05:32] Well, I guess kind of because milk is additional, but wait, cleaner, clean, protein, slow release.
[02:05:39] Brighten did a really good, um, but let's face it.
[02:05:43] It just tastes good.
[02:05:44] Yes.
[02:05:45] Well, it doesn't just taste it.
[02:05:46] It tastes good.
[02:05:47] That might be, uh, what's that word?
[02:05:50] That might be the number one priority or the number one benefit.
[02:05:53] The fact that it's the best protein you can actually get is awesome too.
[02:05:57] Yeah.
[02:05:58] Cool.
[02:05:58] You need to take if you want protein as well.
[02:06:00] So there's, there's very good always eat a steak.
[02:06:03] That's the problem.
[02:06:04] Sometimes you're like on the go.
[02:06:05] Sometimes you got to get.
[02:06:07] Sometimes it's, you got work to do.
[02:06:09] Yeah.
[02:06:10] You have time to eat a steak.
[02:06:11] Sometimes you just want to dessert too.
[02:06:12] Let's face it.
[02:06:13] Come on bro, let's face it.
[02:06:15] So boom.
[02:06:16] There you go.
[02:06:17] So yeah, some milk is like that, but the joint warfare, krill oil, these are for
[02:06:21] your joints.
[02:06:22] Keep your joints in the game.
[02:06:23] If you're for real getting after it, like, especially in the gym and doing judi-to, man,
[02:06:28] those, the joint warfare and the krill oil is going to keep you in the game big times.
[02:06:32] It's going to help you out alive.
[02:06:33] Huge time as we say.
[02:06:36] Don't forget about the warrior kid milk as well.
[02:06:38] Yeah.
[02:06:39] Which is, which is tasty.
[02:06:41] And why not feed your kid something that's actually going to be good for them instead of feeding
[02:06:47] them literal poison.
[02:06:50] Yeah.
[02:06:51] Come me bears.
[02:06:52] Yeah.
[02:06:53] Sugar for a shock.
[02:06:54] Correct.
[02:06:55] Discipline as well.
[02:06:59] If you want some cognitive enhancing elements infused into your brain, get some discipline.
[02:07:02] That's a good one.
[02:07:03] Get yourself some jocquoise tea as well.
[02:07:05] Yeah.
[02:07:06] That's if you want to have a massive deadlift and excessive 8,000 pounds.
[02:07:10] Check.
[02:07:11] Yeah.
[02:07:12] Also, it's certified organic.
[02:07:13] So that's something.
[02:07:14] Also, what the store?
[02:07:16] It's called jocquoise store.
[02:07:17] We can get the tea on the store too.
[02:07:19] We have the tea on the store.
[02:07:22] But also on the store, jocquoise store.com.
[02:07:25] This is where you can get shirts.
[02:07:26] If you want to represent on the path, this will even get after it.
[02:07:31] Simple stuff.
[02:07:32] I chose quality shirts over cheap quantity.
[02:07:38] Sure.
[02:07:39] So when you get this shirt, it should be.
[02:07:42] As it should be.
[02:07:43] Right.
[02:07:44] So if you get this shirt and you recognize that dang, this could very well be my favorite
[02:07:48] shirt just to wear.
[02:07:49] Just the fit in the field.
[02:07:51] The shirt.
[02:07:52] I won't be surprised.
[02:07:53] In fact, I'm used to it.
[02:07:54] That's my opinion.
[02:07:55] The last is good stuff on there.
[02:07:57] There's rash guards in there.
[02:07:59] Some hats.
[02:08:00] Flex fit and snap back trucker hats.
[02:08:03] Some hoodies, lightweight and heavyweight.
[02:08:06] Some good stuff on there.
[02:08:07] Anyway, if you want something, get something.
[02:08:09] It is jocquoise store.com.
[02:08:11] Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast.
[02:08:15] If you want to go ahead and smash the subscribe button.
[02:08:19] I'm probably not doing that anymore.
[02:08:20] That's it.
[02:08:21] That's that jocquiver.
[02:08:22] That was the last one.
[02:08:23] No more.
[02:08:24] So if you want to subscribe, you can click the subscribe button.
[02:08:30] I guess if you're going to remind someone to do something in regards to subscribing, it
[02:08:36] would be more on the YouTube thing to do the notification bell.
[02:08:38] If they want to be notified, because that's not just a given when you subscribe.
[02:08:42] I don't know.
[02:08:43] Some people might not know that.
[02:08:44] This is what I'm saying.
[02:08:45] I'm definitely a more person that did not know that.
[02:08:47] Well, there you go.
[02:08:48] Oh, so yeah, subscribe.
[02:08:50] Whatever.
[02:08:51] Twitter or not Twitter.
[02:08:52] Sorry.
[02:08:53] Hopefully I do this kind of stuff.
[02:08:54] Yeah.
[02:08:55] Also, don't forget to wear a kid podcast.
[02:08:58] Three new releases.
[02:08:59] No, 24, 25 and 26.
[02:09:02] Including an interview with John Bozac, the illustrator, the drawer of pictures of all
[02:09:09] the worry kid books, including Mikey on the dragons.
[02:09:11] Anyway, yeah, very interesting on that one.
[02:09:14] Especially if you're entertaining kind of creative thing, a kind of demonstrate to the
[02:09:17] talks about the process and the frustration.
[02:09:19] Good.
[02:09:20] I actually liked it a lot.
[02:09:22] So where you could soap Irish Oaks Ranch.com.
[02:09:28] This is where you can get Jocco soap, trooper soap, all made by Warrior Kid 8 in in the
[02:09:34] United States, by the way.
[02:09:35] Does you have some kind of motto or anything with that?
[02:09:38] Yeah, like it's a slogan.
[02:09:39] Well, it's slogan.
[02:09:41] Stay clean.
[02:09:42] Sorry about it.
[02:09:43] I don't say it all like to go crazy.
[02:09:45] Like you, whatever.
[02:09:46] But best stay clean simple to the point, right?
[02:09:48] Yeah.
[02:09:49] Oh, good.
[02:09:50] I was not impressed with that.
[02:09:51] I know.
[02:09:52] I've never done a job there.
[02:09:53] I'm doing the best stay can.
[02:09:55] You know, anyway, like I mentioned, we have a YouTube channel as well.
[02:09:58] Jocco podcast YouTube channel.
[02:09:59] If you were interested in the video version of this, this here situation.
[02:10:06] And some excerpts on there.
[02:10:07] Some enhanced excerpts on there too.
[02:10:08] If you want to look at them, it's good.
[02:10:11] Psychological Warfare.
[02:10:12] It's out there.
[02:10:13] iTunes, Google Play, MP3, get it.
[02:10:16] Don't forget about the visual versions of psychological warfare from flipsidekampus.com,
[02:10:22] which is run by my brother Dakota Meyer.
[02:10:26] You might want to check that one out as well.
[02:10:28] If this plenty goes freedom.
[02:10:31] Art.
[02:10:33] Yeah.
[02:10:34] Yeah, we have posters, right?
[02:10:36] Which is cool.
[02:10:37] Like you're hanging your gym and whatever.
[02:10:38] But it's like one, two, maybe three levels higher than the poster.
[02:10:41] It's like, you know, the pen you hang on your wall in your home.
[02:10:44] You've got it in your office.
[02:10:46] Clearly, you could put these things up there.
[02:10:48] We got some warrior kid posters, art, and as well.
[02:10:53] They're not just posters.
[02:10:54] They're like, yeah, the quality.
[02:10:58] Also on it, on it.com slash juggle.
[02:11:01] Go to the case.
[02:11:02] On it, this is where you can get what kettlebells, like fitness stuff.
[02:11:06] So you know, some cool supplements, some greens, some food items.
[02:11:10] You know, this is where I get my kettlebells.
[02:11:12] But actually, yeah, like pretty much all my home gym stuff aside from like the dumbbells
[02:11:17] sets.
[02:11:18] Get from on it.
[02:11:19] All of it.
[02:11:20] Go on there on it.com slash juggle.
[02:11:22] Get something.
[02:11:23] And got some books too.
[02:11:24] I've written a bunch of them.
[02:11:26] Way the warrior kid.
[02:11:27] Where there's a will.
[02:11:29] Number, that's number three of that book.
[02:11:31] That is live.
[02:11:32] So get that for your kid.
[02:11:36] Also get the way the warrior kid won and way the warrior kid too, which is called marks
[02:11:39] mission.
[02:11:40] These books are good.
[02:11:41] And these are the books I wish I had when I was a kid.
[02:11:43] They would just put me on the path that a younger age.
[02:11:46] Like in the dragons, you can order that one now as well.
[02:11:51] That is for a little bit younger age, maybe three, four, five, six.
[02:11:57] Sure, through 70.
[02:11:58] Yeah, I would agree with that.
[02:12:00] Yeah, just want to go to Freedom Field Manual.
[02:12:03] All the little questions that you want to ask me about everything are answered in that
[02:12:07] book.
[02:12:09] The discipline was Freedom Field Manual.
[02:12:11] How to get after it.
[02:12:13] The audio version is not unautable.
[02:12:16] It's on iTunes.
[02:12:17] It's on Amazon Music.
[02:12:18] It's on Google Play.
[02:12:19] Other MP3s.
[02:12:20] And those are questions that you might have about life about my personal operating system.
[02:12:27] If you have questions about leadership, check out Extreme Ownership and the dichotomy
[02:12:31] leadership.
[02:12:32] I referenced them both today and I referenced them all the time written by me and my brother
[02:12:38] Lave Babin about the experiences we had overseas.
[02:12:40] Now, you can take those experiences and apply them to the leadership in your
[02:12:46] life and world.
[02:12:48] We also have Eshelon Front, which is our leadership consultancy.
[02:12:52] We solve problems through leadership.
[02:12:54] You can go to Eshelonfront.com for details on that.
[02:12:57] If you want to get some additional training online, you go to EF Online.com.
[02:13:02] And that's where we have all the Eshelon Front instructors teaching classes online.
[02:13:08] Interactive classes.
[02:13:10] Check that one out.
[02:13:11] If you want to go more granular.
[02:13:14] And then we have the master, which is a conference gathering, a leadership gathering.
[02:13:21] The next one is in Denver, September 19th and 20th.
[02:13:25] And then in Sydney, Australia, December 4th and 5th, check Extreme Ownership.com for
[02:13:30] details.
[02:13:31] All of the masters have sold out and these will too.
[02:13:34] So get there early.
[02:13:38] Of course, we have EF Overwatch where we are taking spec ops and combat aviation leaders
[02:13:49] and placing them into civilian companies that need leader.
[02:13:53] Ship.
[02:13:54] EF Overwatch.com.
[02:13:56] If you want to hire someone from special operations or your former special operations
[02:14:02] and you would like to work in the civilian sector, go to EF Overwatch.com, follow the
[02:14:07] instructor and we will hook it up.
[02:14:11] And if you feel like you want to cruise with us just a little bit more, you can find
[02:14:15] us both on the Interwebs.
[02:14:19] On Twitter, on Instagram, and on the Vais Book.
[02:14:25] Echo is at Echo Charles and I am at Jocca Willink.
[02:14:29] And thanks to all of you that make this podcast possible first.
[02:14:35] As of you in the armed services who put your honor and duty above yourselves and protect
[02:14:40] freedom around the world and to all the police officers and law enforcement to the firefighters,
[02:14:46] the paramedics, the EMTs, the dispatchers, the correctional officers, the Border Patrol,
[02:14:52] Secret Service and all the other first responders.
[02:14:57] Each of you do the same.
[02:15:00] You place the welfare of others above the welfare of yourself in order to keep us safe.
[02:15:07] So thanks for what you do.
[02:15:10] And the rest of you that are out there, thanks for the support that you all give us.
[02:15:16] You are the fuel that keeps this train moving.
[02:15:21] Literally, we appreciate it.
[02:15:24] And also remember this no matter what happened in the past, you control the narrative.
[02:15:34] You write the story that you want to write.
[02:15:37] You give yourself the role that you want.
[02:15:40] Make your thoughts in that story filled with discipline and make your actions.
[02:15:49] Make them nothing short of heroic.
[02:15:56] Then step out into the world and get after it.
[02:16:02] Until next time, this is Echo and Jocco.
[02:16:06] And now.