Jocko Podcast 157 w/ Echo Charles: When to Play The Game, When To Break The Rules

2018-12-26T21:59:19Z

Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles 0:00:00 - Opening 0:09:48 - How to "play the game" but also break rules when needed. 0:22:00 - How to get better with taking smack talk among friends. 0:30:44 - Dealing with ultimatums. 0:38:18 - Dealing with family not being disciplined when you are. 0:50:08 - Expressing yourself vs. Normal Face. 0:57:15 - How to show co-workers they should have UNMITIGATED DISCIPLINE IN ALL THINGS. 1:09:24 - Seeking council with others while leading. 1:22:25 - How to deal with getting overwhelmed as a leader. 1:29:58 - How to deal with the loss of a child. 1:51:43 - Support: How to Stay On The Path. 2:10:29 - Closing Gratitude.

AI summary of episode

but maybe like as a person you know How like like you you know confide in hall like all have a problem come in It'll be like hey, let me get your advice whatever about something that obviously it didn't feel yeah like appropriate to like just ask all my friends kind of thing, you know like Do you ever do that This this I think applies to To most scenario where Like you be think of the big picture where if you're like hey, I'm gonna consider myself After everything's gonna be said and done, you know it kind of goes along with what you said like oh can you stand up and you You if you consider okay look back you're gonna they're because it's gonna come a point where you're gonna look back on this They what I know might not work That's it then you know so that that means you got to have an open mind then you got to remember of course that rules Sometimes after break rules You have to be very judicious when you decide you're gonna break rules and there's some principles that That you cannot violate without massive Reason without a massively heavy reason and a way to mitigate the risks of breaking whatever those fundamentals are like cover move like there Cover move you should never violate cover move ever Except for when it just makes sense that you need to violate So that and that story right there are kind of leads into the first question of Q and I which we haven't had Q and Q and A in a while and the first question is Well go ahead first question first question You recently said hackworth was a rule follower most of his career but in about face the book He always talks about how he went against his command his rules how do you play the game but also act like hackworth So even if you're not in the, or if you're in a situation where someone's close to you, like, lost someone, it's good to keep like something like this in my knee, you know, that it's going to come and go, you know, because it's easy to be like, oh, yeah, like, oh, so what you do is you tell her like hey just Can can we make this work and actually whatever however this gets in the way of us you know like whatever like I Want to just in general make that up to some way you know like what can you what can I do for you You know it's like that kind of situation I want to mess that Exactly, so it kind of shapes up to be like that you know where it's like for sure We both know whatever it's There that's it's so bad to the point where one When when I got with my current life from where we started dating whatever like it's just having you know Like even you like same thing, you know like you'll you'll give me crap. And we were pretty far along in the training and we were Starting to get our our semi-unition Which is like fake bullets our semi-unition and paint ball wars on Forsohn force training and we were doing Like multi day operations So almost like a scenario like you've got a full scenario going on like there's bad guys in the city There's anything We were like we're not gonna say because you know we and we call it clear and you say next room and all this other stuff We weren't gonna say anything We're just gonna stay quiet so we went all the way up the stairs really quietly we walk in and we can hear him Hear him yelling out the window like come but you better get him quick and all this stuff You think I got two hours a week think about what two hours two hours is like a massive amount of time Yeah, that's a good two hours is a huge amount of time Unless give that away you own a commercial gym then you want to mop that floor Cuz it adds to the functionality Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna get the floor is gonna be clean. I'm gonna go so hard That it's gonna get nuts like we're gonna get it done and then when if we fall short Which we will because I figured out there's no physical humanly possible way to make this happen Then what I'm gonna do is I will go to them and I'll explain The things that I am going to do differently next time in order to meet their goals right? There's a couple chapters you could focus on one of them is called resolute but not overbearing one of them is called disciplined but not rigid One of them is called hold people accountable, but don't hold their hands And and this is pretty much why we had to write the dichotomy of leadership because you're out there good on you trying to take extreme ownership And that's great, but you're not you're not paying attention to the dichotomy of leadership So let me let me break it down for you a little bit more clearly and then you can go read the book as well, which will help you You say that the stakes are only a clean fryer and not lives and You're right Lives are not at stake and neither really is the functionality of the fire itself Because it doesn't have to be completely spotless and in fact if you're trying to keep it completely spotless It might actually waste time that she could be doing something that's more important like Prepping the potatoes or washing her hands to keep the food sanitary So you need to think about that how Truly important like when you say on when I say because I say this all time and I apologize for throwing you a little bit Too far in one direction unmitigated daily discipline in all things. You need my help with the kids and then Be like but hey this this sort of this means a lot to me and it makes me feel good makes me you know a happy person Whatever it can mean you can we make this work you know can we do what you know how you like this other thing Yeah, they fully says some about people aspiring leaders right if you're an aspiring leader Don't feel like you're the person that has to always come up with a plan or come up with a solution Even when you are the leader don't feel like you're that guy in fact it's better to not do that It's better just to to think and to just listen to what people are saying and watch their plans Come out and get shot down and get reformulated and be improved and if you hadn't said anything yet Guess what the longer you don't say anything the more people are gonna listen when you actually open your mouth It's going to feel like you are Drowning in sorrow like you're not going to get in any air and like you're not going to be able to escape that sadness That's what the waves feel like at first and you know obviously Situation some situations are more like more serious, you know like you're not gonna I don't know A lot of the time it's like they're literally the opposite decision You're like Especially if it's one of those like go along with the crowd kind of scenarios, you know where's like all that? Well, let me tell you how here's my plan In six years, you know, I'm a purple belt right now in six years I'm gonna get my black belt and when I get my black belt we're gonna open a school when I open a school guess what we're gonna do all day We're gonna teach you to get you Yeah, and as speaking from person who doesn't necessarily well It doesn't seem like I necessarily get that big of a payoff to have that to like I'm running this, you know like I don't know for whatever reason didn't I? Right like wow if I go 110% right not even on a person beyond you're gonna give everything you can is it achievable Because a lot of times people will do it's an ultimatum can't make it well as a Member of a team I Want people's attitude to be like you know what? When He when he got out when they kind of drove him out after he did the big interview where he said hey we're not gonna win They went and drilled down into his camps and looked at the things that he had gone on there Said oh you were you're allowing this to happen you're allowing this to happen so he left himself a little bit vulnerable By breaking the rules a little bit too much so the a rule to learn from that is like don't do things that people can hold over you and for me The things that people can hold over you are things where you can't stand up and Say yes, that's what I did I can't remember times like guys guys just be like Like They wouldn't be like well, I don't know jacco. Let's finish a prod let's do something productive and if there's something That distracts you that's fine do it Let let let let there be some calm in the water and Also As the as the calm comes Also you're gonna find moments where it's like you can you can have things that are gonna bring on the waves And that's okay to Bring on the waves go look at the pictures right down the memories read the letters read the notes read the emails Remember But here's the deal if you're in the military and you got spun up about little things that don't really matter You are wasting your leadership capital and When something it actually important it's what you were just talking about echo when something actually important comes up Your troops aren't even going to listen to you because they don't know what anything They don't know what's important and what's not because you say that everything is important Like hey, why do I need to stay on watch? You know what decision you made and how you made to think to tell kids to You know like would you if you're if you're at a party or you're wherever and something's going on would you be proud to stand up and be Hey here was the situation and I this is what I did and this is why I did it if you can't Maybe you should really reconsider what your actions are gonna be no man.

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Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is jocopodcast number 157 with echo Charles and me jocow wheelink good evening echo good evening
[00:00:07] I was in a seal platoon
[00:00:13] Serving as the assistant to commander in the late 90s note that means you know war going on that's what it means
[00:00:21] So we were training
[00:00:23] We were training
[00:00:24] Hard and this platoon that I was in at the time we were going through urban training urban combat training
[00:00:32] And we were pretty far along in the training and we were
[00:00:36] Starting to get our our semi-unition
[00:00:39] Which is like fake bullets our semi-unition and paint ball wars on
[00:00:43] Forsohn force training and we were doing
[00:00:48] Like multi day operations
[00:00:50] So almost like a scenario like you've got a full scenario going on like there's bad guys in the city
[00:00:58] Yeah, no, it's the concrete city the fake city
[00:01:00] With concrete buildings that are pretty much just the shells buildings and
[00:01:06] We're going against
[00:01:09] Up four seals we call up for that stands for opposing force
[00:01:13] So the opposing force there are other seals who are role players pretending to be bad guys
[00:01:17] They know our tactics they know our techniques they know our procedures and on this particular day
[00:01:22] They had captured one of our seals from our platoon
[00:01:25] The bad guys the role players was that part of the scenario or just they made it part of the scenario
[00:01:30] So whatever they did they cost confusion they caused mayhem they end up with one of our guys
[00:01:35] Okay, just on their own though that was a part of the overall training
[00:01:38] Well, it is you know when I was running training we always did that too
[00:01:41] So it's just a long standing kind of hey if you can capture one of the seals
[00:01:45] Yeah, yeah, you know all this like never leave a man behind right let's get a little leave a man
[00:01:49] Right, it's a little bit about them. So
[00:01:52] At this point like I said they had they had captured and I don't remember exactly
[00:01:58] But they captured one of our guys and they had him in a building and it was a big a pretty big building like a pretty big but
[00:02:04] rectangular type building
[00:02:08] Five stories maybe
[00:02:09] Maybe it's four stories but anyways they had them they didn't have them in the top floor, but they had him in like
[00:02:13] The the floor below the top floor so he's dealing the third four the fourth floor. I forget
[00:02:20] But they have the guy in there and
[00:02:23] Remember this is not there's no power in the city and it's the city is out in the middle of nowhere
[00:02:27] It's a fake city
[00:02:29] So you can hear everything right kind of you pretty much here what's going on?
[00:02:33] So they have our guy and they're like torturing him mock torturing him and of course
[00:02:38] They're up there tell them like scream
[00:02:39] Scream out and easy Ellen and yet you know that they're feeding him what to yell to try and get us all riled up
[00:02:47] There they're he's screaming. They're gonna kill me
[00:02:51] They're gonna violate me
[00:02:54] Screaming so they have a good time with it and and so our standard operating procedures like oh
[00:02:59] You know what okay, so there's a building needs to be cleared
[00:03:01] We go and we clear the whole building. We start on the ground floor we clear every room
[00:03:04] Then we go up to the next one we clear every room we go for the next one that means that there's not gonna be any bad guys
[00:03:08] That get get into your train
[00:03:11] There's not gonna be any bad guys in between your force which can cause a blue on blue
[00:03:17] So when you're gonna clear every room that means you're gonna move down these hallways and you're gonna go from the bottom of the top and that's just kind of the plan
[00:03:23] Right sort of normal and
[00:03:27] Like I said we could we knew where they were so we immediately
[00:03:30] Okay, we're gonna say for a guy
[00:03:33] We're all fired up and
[00:03:35] As we were we're doing this you know the the standard plan come up. We're okay
[00:03:40] We're going this east door and we'll just clear the first floor in a second before we do you know and as I'm sitting there kind of listening to this
[00:03:48] I just said hey no let's do this instead let's just
[00:03:53] Sneak up to the building because you can get to the building behind other buildings
[00:03:56] You could find a little sneaky way to get there. I'm like let's sneak him in the dead space
[00:04:00] Dead space is areas where the enemy can't see you or where you can't see the enemy it's just areas where there's no
[00:04:04] Line of sight. I said let's let's go and there was an external stairs like a fire escape on the outside
[00:04:11] I want to I said let's go straight to the to the floor he's on
[00:04:15] We won't clear any of the other floors we won't clear any of the rooms will just go right in the
[00:04:19] Hong Kong directly to where he's at
[00:04:22] and
[00:04:24] That was the plan so we did it and
[00:04:28] Yeah, and the thing was it was we were that was I had kind of a new
[00:04:32] Idea right like hey, let's just I'm not I'm not to believe me. I'm not saying I'm the first guy that ever thought it's I'm not
[00:04:39] I'm saying our mindset at that moment was hey this is what we're being trying to do
[00:04:43] We'll do it what we're trying to do so for anyone that's listening for any of my team guy brothers
[00:04:46] I'm like you didn't think I'm not saying I thought I'm saying at that moment in time
[00:04:50] We were focused on doing it one way and I said, oh, let's do something a little bit different
[00:04:54] And then once I said it everyone's like yeah, yeah, because there was like
[00:04:58] Everyone knew that was the right answer right but you just had to have that different look at it for a moment
[00:05:03] And so we did it we went to the
[00:05:06] External start when we went up really quiet. There's anything
[00:05:08] We were like we're not gonna say because you know we and we call it clear and you say next room and all this other stuff
[00:05:13] We weren't gonna say anything
[00:05:15] We're just gonna stay quiet so we went all the way up the stairs really quietly we walk in and we can hear him
[00:05:19] Hear him yelling out the window like come but you better get him quick and all this stuff and then we go into the room
[00:05:24] Excitably and shoot all the up for in the back
[00:05:29] We killed him and we saved our hostage and it was one
[00:05:33] There was one seal cadre who we gave them and I'm not gonna give his actual nickname
[00:05:38] But his nickname was along the lines of
[00:05:41] semi Jimmy
[00:05:42] because semi-nation was
[00:05:45] Well, semi-nation what we used and semi-Jimmy
[00:05:48] was really good at being a bad guy
[00:05:51] And so and he would laugh at us, you know we'd be moving through a building and you could hear him like
[00:05:57] If he shot you in the neck and he'd be aiming for your neck or you're nuts like he was gonna get you
[00:06:04] Have a good time with it
[00:06:05] And that's what you want know you want you guys go hard so semi-Jimmy we but we got this moment with
[00:06:10] Semi-Jimmy shot him in the back and they you know they were stoked
[00:06:13] You know, they could see even though they want to win and they want to beat us but they're still stoked
[00:06:17] He wasn't cackling he was you know
[00:06:19] He was stoked on it and so they died we saved we got so my point in this is that
[00:06:24] Sometimes you have to do things
[00:06:27] That the enemy's not gonna expect that people aren't gonna expect that your competitors not gonna expect
[00:06:32] The hard part about doing that
[00:06:35] It isn't actually doing the thing that they don't expect right
[00:06:40] It's because like I said other this is not what I what I said to do wasn't this
[00:06:45] You know miraculous
[00:06:47] Your reek a moment of
[00:06:49] Tactical genius it wasn't that
[00:06:51] This was a
[00:06:52] Anyone that would have taken a step back would have said like that's a good call. Let's do that instead, but we're all wrapped up in that situation
[00:07:01] And so you want to learn how to do that you want to learn how to and again
[00:07:05] It's about detaching but a couple things that will help you with that
[00:07:10] One is don't be the person that's planning everything
[00:07:12] Don't be the person
[00:07:14] And and it's hard especially we talk about extreme ownership like and everyone wants to be a leader
[00:07:19] And I want to step up don't try not to be the guy that comes up with every plan
[00:07:23] Literally trying not to be that guy
[00:07:26] Now are there times when you're a lower member where you want to like step up and come up the plane
[00:07:31] Yeah, I'm talking about when you're in a little actual leadership position when you're junior and you're
[00:07:35] You're trying to learn and you're trying to bring four-fideas. Yeah, man come up with some plans
[00:07:39] You know shoot that idea up because you're you're throwing out good ideas that are gonna get bounced off the boss
[00:07:44] But when you're the guy that's in charge trying not to be the guy that plans everything trying not to be the guy that makes every single call
[00:07:48] Let the subordinates plan or let the subirriers plan let other people
[00:07:53] Come up with plans now are there situations where like there's you got to make calls of course there are there's a dichotomy right
[00:07:59] But
[00:08:01] In that particular situation I didn't feel the need that I had to be the guy that came up with the plan like let other people do that
[00:08:07] And you know if someone else had come up with the come up with that standard plan and it was and I hadn't like
[00:08:13] Detached I would have been like okay cool. That's what we're doing. We're you know on forward you know, but
[00:08:19] You have to allow other people to come up with plans the other thing is recognize
[00:08:25] That the the way you know of doing something might not
[00:08:30] fit you might not know everything
[00:08:33] It's it's a good thing to always think to yourself you might not know everything
[00:08:37] Right, that's a good idea to have in your mind
[00:08:39] Or is that what I know might not work that's something else what I know might not work
[00:08:47] That's another really smart thing to
[00:08:50] Constantly replaying your head. They what I know might not work
[00:08:54] That's it then you know so that that means you got to have an open mind then you got to remember of course that rules
[00:09:02] Sometimes after break rules
[00:09:04] You have to be very judicious when you decide you're gonna break rules and there's some principles that
[00:09:10] That you cannot violate without
[00:09:13] massive
[00:09:16] Reason without a massively heavy reason and a way to mitigate the risks of breaking whatever those fundamentals are like cover move like there
[00:09:24] Cover move you should never violate cover move ever
[00:09:27] Except for when it just makes sense that you need to violate
[00:09:33] So that and that story right there are kind of leads into the first question of Q and I which we haven't had Q and Q and A in a while
[00:09:40] and
[00:09:42] the first question
[00:09:44] is
[00:09:46] Well go ahead first question first question
[00:09:48] You recently said hackworth was a rule follower most of his career but in about face the book
[00:09:57] He always talks about how he went against his command his rules how do you play the game but also act like hackworth
[00:10:03] Yeah, and so this is a classic example of the dichotomy leadership with regard to obeying rules
[00:10:11] and and
[00:10:12] hackworth absolutely obey the rules and he obeyed them to the to the extremes sometimes if you remember in the book he
[00:10:20] He
[00:10:22] He worked in
[00:10:24] situations where he they were like the strictest
[00:10:28] In Garrison so like not in combat just in Garrison he would everything's perfect uniform if you remember when general moochiyamo was on
[00:10:35] And we talked to we talked him about meeting hack for the first time
[00:10:38] Mm-hmm and you know it's kind of like what was he like and he was like oh he was
[00:10:43] High and tight haircut totally squared away that's following the rules to win tea
[00:10:49] And the other thing that he played he definitely played he played the game
[00:10:55] Hackworth played the game he developed with
[00:10:58] He developed relationships with people that were senior to him people that were influential
[00:11:04] SLA Marshall who he went on tour with if you remember through Vietnam and as a lay marshley
[00:11:08] Didn't really respect but SLA Marshall had such big influence that he said hey, you know what I got to become bros with this guy
[00:11:14] He played the game because Marshall had influence and
[00:11:21] He even took some hits you know took a little
[00:11:24] Frag for from for SLA Marshall
[00:11:28] But at the same time if his troops weren't getting the right treatment that he did he would do what he needed to do
[00:11:33] He would break rules to take care of them if he had to and at the same time
[00:11:39] He would follow the rules to a tea if you remember when he took over the Italian and Vietnam
[00:11:44] The hopeless and wanted to turn him into the hardcore he brought all their crap into the middle of the thing and said we're gonna fly it out
[00:11:49] I don't know more radio is no more guitars no no this other stuff you get it out
[00:11:52] So that's like following the rules to a tea
[00:11:56] But at the same time if he needed to like steal food for them or stakes something to get of you know
[00:12:01] He would do that stuff
[00:12:03] So he's constantly balancing that economy. Another thing he did is he
[00:12:07] He took these administrative jobs that he hated
[00:12:12] In order to rise through the ranks in order to become to get
[00:12:17] Get places to develop relations so so we could have more influence. He was assigned to the Pentagon
[00:12:22] He in the book he talks about the Pentagon being working in the Pentagon being a cluster phobic hole
[00:12:28] No more than 20 by 20 feet with 15 other people in it
[00:12:31] And he talks about his head you did say your paper your in in box would be filled when you showed up
[00:12:39] And you immediately the phone would be ringing you'd be talking to people all over the world
[00:12:42] If all the people in Vietnam they're calling you at their their time zone
[00:12:47] And so he didn't like this job, but guess what got the highest possible
[00:12:51] Valuations when he left why cuz he played the game
[00:12:54] And he built these relationships with with all these kernels and all these generals and all these people
[00:13:00] Let it influence those glove or johns and Pearson and countless others by doing what he needed to do and then when he needed to
[00:13:08] He broke the rules and
[00:13:10] Sometimes he went a little too far away breaking the rules and
[00:13:15] When
[00:13:17] He when he got out when they kind of drove him out after he did the big interview where he said hey we're not gonna win
[00:13:24] They went and drilled down into his camps and looked at the things that he had gone on there
[00:13:27] Said oh you were you're allowing this to happen you're allowing this to happen so he left himself a little bit vulnerable
[00:13:33] By breaking the rules a little bit too much so the a rule to learn from that is like don't do things that people can hold over you and for me
[00:13:41] The things that people can hold over you are things where you can't stand up and
[00:13:46] Say yes, that's what I did
[00:13:48] Yes, that's what I did hey my guys didn't hadn't had a good meal in
[00:13:54] Four weeks they've been in the field for three of those weeks and when they came out
[00:14:01] Guess what I
[00:14:03] I figured out a way to get some steak and I took it from the rear and I had it flown up using milley's and our helicopters and
[00:14:09] I've had it yep, that's what I did and if you want to you want to drop the hammer on me for that
[00:14:13] Got it
[00:14:15] Now if you do that that's cool
[00:14:17] But there's some things rebate the rules where maybe you wouldn't be able to stand up tall and proud and say this is what I did
[00:14:23] And this is why I did it so you want to be careful that you don't do things that will allow
[00:14:29] People to hold things over your head and
[00:14:33] For me things that are things like that are things that you can't stand up with your chest out and say this is what I did in this
[00:14:39] Why I do I know it wasn't within the regulations
[00:14:41] This is what I did this is why I do it and if I get fired because of that understood check
[00:14:49] Now here's where you get a little here's where we can we can
[00:14:56] Question hack for sure
[00:14:59] Let me ask you this
[00:15:02] If
[00:15:03] Hack would have because okay, so he didn't play the game at the end he didn't play the game
[00:15:08] He went on an interview and said hey, we're not gonna win the war not the way we're fighting
[00:15:12] We're not gonna win the war within a few weeks. He was driven out of the army
[00:15:16] He didn't play the game at that moment, right? So let me ask you this
[00:15:21] If he would have played the game
[00:15:25] Just a little bit just it look we need to change our strategy if we're you know
[00:15:28] I mean if you would have just and then he would have stayed in and then he would have perhaps gotten promotion and got perhaps gotten to a position
[00:15:35] He actually had influence over the way the war was being fought if he had done that would he have been
[00:15:43] Better off would he have been able to better help the situation?
[00:15:49] Because I don't know once they drove now. It's not like that interview well
[00:15:53] I don't know we'd have to check the check the historical
[00:15:56] Sort of results of that interview. It's certainly started to sway public opinion and maybe that you know
[00:16:01] Maybe in his mind hey, I need to tell everyone what's going on so we can get out of here right?
[00:16:07] So maybe maybe that was the intention maybe that was the result maybe that helped
[00:16:12] Shut down the war eventually but maybe
[00:16:16] If he would have played continue to play the game
[00:16:20] He could have gotten to a position where he had more even more influence and could have changed the way the war was being fought
[00:16:26] I don't know. I'm sure we could have a long debate about that
[00:16:29] But that's as a leader something that you are going to
[00:16:36] Have to weigh out all the time and there's situations where
[00:16:40] And actually breaking news today
[00:16:43] General Mattis just put in his resignation for
[00:16:48] Being secretary defense
[00:16:50] So is that's I don't have to talk about that when I get a little more information on is that him saying look
[00:16:56] I it's going to be better for me to make this statement by leaving or
[00:17:02] Would he have been better off staying there where he can at least still have a massive amount of influence because he's
[00:17:10] The secretary defense. We'll have to drill down on that one. That's a
[00:17:15] That's a good question both those are good questions and the bottom line is if you haven't read about face
[00:17:21] Read it and learn from oh guy name Colonel David hackworth
[00:17:24] Hmm
[00:17:26] Next question
[00:17:29] So I answer that question was sort of another question
[00:17:32] Kind of a question you get asked yourself yes, and that's a question and I've talked about this where
[00:17:39] If I tell you echo hey echo I want you to do this mission
[00:17:41] I want you to do this way take your opportunity to go do it and you disagree with what I'm telling you
[00:17:46] And you just say hey boss
[00:17:47] I don't want to do it that way and I said hey you shut up and do what I told you to do and you go you know what
[00:17:52] You can fire me what I'm not doing it. I go okay fine your fired and I get knucklehead over here
[00:17:56] Who's the yes man it comes in and I tell him to go to the mission where I told him to do it and he goes and doesn't get everyone killed
[00:18:01] What did it been better off if you said okay boss? I get it
[00:18:05] I I'll do it your way here some things I'd really like to not do and you go no I said no shut up and then you take your guys
[00:18:11] You mitigate everything that you can actually there's an example of this in band of brothers
[00:18:15] Where major winners is being told hey send a reconnaissance element across the river again tonight and
[00:18:22] He doesn't want to do it the the war's almost over they had taken some casualties
[00:18:27] I think the night before when they did the same type of operation and he just says
[00:18:31] God it boss and then the guys go and they
[00:18:34] Sitting a they pretend to go out but they really just sitting the basement of a building on their side of the river
[00:18:40] And then later on they said yep, we went we came back we didn't find anything okay cool there's a perfect example
[00:18:47] Imagine if if major winners dick winners was like we're not doing it and now you get an ego contest with the kernel
[00:18:53] He's like oh yes you are no we're not okay fine your fired
[00:18:56] Let me get knucklehead over here who's gonna do what I told him to do who's it totally yes man and now we take that risk and guys get killed
[00:19:04] So so who is it?
[00:19:06] There's a there's a dick winners played the game he played the game so he could still have that influence and power and and still protect his guys
[00:19:15] Yeah
[00:19:16] Can get complex yeah, it's it's very that's why leadership is hard
[00:19:20] That's it's weird though because when you say it's complex when you say leadership is hard at the same time like
[00:19:26] You if you're a principal human being and you have principles and you know what's right and you're doing the right thing for the right reason
[00:19:33] The decisions are actually usually a little easier clear
[00:19:37] Yeah, they might not be easy, but they're clearer like I know what I'm supposed to do here. I got it
[00:19:42] Yeah, I'm gonna figure this one out yeah and
[00:19:46] This this I think applies to
[00:19:50] To most scenario where
[00:19:53] Like you be think of the big picture where if you're like hey, I'm gonna consider myself
[00:19:58] After everything's gonna be said and done, you know it kind of goes along with what you said like oh can you stand up and you
[00:20:06] You if you consider okay look back you're gonna they're because it's gonna come a point where you're gonna look back on this and
[00:20:12] You're gonna feel the way you're gonna feel right now, but later on how are you gonna feel about like how you handled it
[00:20:18] You know what decision you made and how you made to think to tell kids to
[00:20:21] You know like would you if you're if you're at a party or you're wherever and something's going on would you be proud to stand up and be
[00:20:29] Hey here was the situation and I this is what I did and this is why I did it if you can't
[00:20:35] Maybe you should really reconsider what your actions are gonna be no man. It's because a lot of the time shoots
[00:20:41] For she's like kid. That's an adult too. A lot of the time it's like they're literally the opposite decision
[00:20:46] You're like
[00:20:47] Especially if it's one of those like go along with the crowd kind of scenarios, you know where's like all that? It's easy to go along there and
[00:20:52] When your kids especially when they involve drinking and stuff sometimes there's really no consequence
[00:20:56] You know whatever you did something dumb no one gets the herder dies or nothing like that
[00:20:59] But everyone's in a while there is but so it's like it makes it harder because you don't
[00:21:05] Like when you go do something. I don't know dumb. I don't know good jump off or preach
[00:21:08] I don't know something drinking drive or whatever and no one dies or no one nothing big happens
[00:21:13] It's sort of reinforces that maybe it might be okay, you know you maybe be able to slide with this behavior a little bit, you know
[00:21:20] But at the end of the day, you know, yeah if you can clearly see that big picture where in the future
[00:21:26] You're gonna be looking back on how you handled it. Yeah
[00:21:28] Here's another thing same concept I used to tell I told my guys
[00:21:32] Was you just might as well act like CNN is recording what you're doing in it. Yeah
[00:21:39] Right, so if you want to act like an idiot guess what it's gonna be on CNN because someone's got a camera
[00:21:43] Somewhere around there and you might as well be saying that today as a kid as a teenager
[00:21:48] Yeah, you might as well be saying yep, this is this is the next viral video
[00:21:51] This is my 15 minutes of fame is gonna be me doing whatever I'm doing right here
[00:21:57] Yeah, yeah, so gotta watch out for that learn from hack
[00:22:02] Next question. Docko. I start with receiving banter from other guys banter. Okay. I'm naturally a sensitive gut
[00:22:09] Which lens myself to take normal smack talk from other guys personally? I'm trying to get after it
[00:22:15] I wake up earlier work out eat healthy work pretty hard, but still seemed to have some deep seated insecurities
[00:22:21] Which flare up when guys give me stick. I have some bloody good mates
[00:22:27] And I want to get to the point where I can take smack talk for what it is and even give a bit of stick back to the guys
[00:22:34] What can I do to help this?
[00:22:39] Here's one thing that you can try
[00:22:43] To get into your brain and this is one of those things that's hard to get into your brain
[00:22:50] And it's even harder to actually get it in your brain and functionally use this thought here's the thought
[00:22:56] The more okay if you're if you're paranoid about something if you're insecure about something
[00:23:06] the more you let things bother you the more insecure you will appear
[00:23:14] Let me say that again the more you let things bother you the more insecure you're going to appear
[00:23:20] And the worse whatever that thing that you're worried about whatever that thing that makes you feel as a
[00:23:25] Curse it's going to appear to everyone else
[00:23:29] So if you got a big nose and you're embarrassed because you got a big nose and every time someone says something about your big nose
[00:23:37] You get mad and you get offended that big nose is be closed even bigger
[00:23:45] So think about that if there's something that bothers you and you let it be known and
[00:23:50] You let it bother you the worse it's going to get and
[00:23:56] And also think about this another thing that will help these are things I'm trying to help
[00:24:01] help
[00:24:02] Sort of
[00:24:03] Smooth the edges of insecurity. Here's another one people even though you think even they think they are and it's kind of ego-tistical to think this
[00:24:10] But we all do it people aren't sitting around and thinking about you in your weaknesses
[00:24:14] You're not sitting around and thinking about you in your weaknesses. They're not like that's your ego telling you that
[00:24:23] so
[00:24:25] Don't sit there and think everyone's looking at your big nose all the time. They don't care
[00:24:30] They got their other problems. They got their own life going on. They don't care about your big nose
[00:24:35] You know what makes them care about it when they know if they say something you it bothers you
[00:24:39] Yeah, that's the first thing I'm gonna think when they see you again. Oh, here comes the good time some fun
[00:24:44] Yeah, and here's another thing if you want to kind of mitigate that
[00:24:49] Man, do what I do it Mark doesn't weigh the warrior kid when Uncle Jax says hey if you're getting made fun of
[00:24:56] He's in a way the work you call and plate face. Yeah same Mark. Oh, you got around this guy Nathan James to tell him
[00:25:02] Mark oh, you got around face you look like plate calls and plate face. That's his insult
[00:25:05] That's insults him all the time and it bothers him. He's looking in the mirror going
[00:25:11] Let's it bother and Uncle Jax has hate go go make fun of yourself and he finally gets a chance
[00:25:17] He does a they're in a class and they have to do a self portrait and he draws himself as a plate a plate face and
[00:25:25] When the kid that's been making fun of it season he laughs and then
[00:25:28] Guess what does make fun of him anymore about it because he realizes it doesn't bother and they kind of pond a little and they kind of mumbles
[00:25:35] Actually what he's going for in this question that is yeah, yeah, so you got him and it's it's this
[00:25:41] What that's why I said it's hard to do this because when you're insecure about your big nose
[00:25:45] You're insecure about your big ears or whatever and you let people know that or I mean you just think it's in your brain
[00:25:51] You think if you say something that's gonna even worse
[00:25:53] They won't get worse. Yeah, might get worse for an uptick for a second, right? It might
[00:25:58] You make fun of yourself. You know people like oh, yeah, that's right. You notice that you do it
[00:26:01] Yeah, they need it'll kind of no one really cares and that's why in the teams
[00:26:06] In the teams you never let anyone know that something bothers you
[00:26:10] Or if they know it bothers you you're gonna hear about it forever
[00:26:14] That's just gonna be how that's the way it's gonna be and
[00:26:18] What that means the polar opposite of that or the flip side of that is it's not fun to harass some
[00:26:24] It's not fun to harass someone about something that doesn't bother them. It's not even fun
[00:26:28] Right, it's not fun. Why would you harass someone when they don't get it?
[00:26:32] You don't even get a rise out of them. It's not fun. You just leave that thing you look for something else
[00:26:38] So
[00:26:39] Poke a little fun at yourself. These guys are gonna back off because they're bored if you show no reaction and
[00:26:46] Like you said that that kind of self deprecating humor will form a little bond
[00:26:51] Yeah, you can give a little stick back to the guys if you start giving stick to guys be ready to take it back though
[00:26:56] Yeah, and then escalate yeah, and then that's just so I mean I grew up with two brothers
[00:27:04] One twin brother and that's like like that's
[00:27:08] Literally the foundation of our relationship. This is just you tease the other guy about something
[00:27:13] Everything like you he can come in with a new shirt on that's a seal button
[00:27:17] Yeah, like every the oh will be like oh sure at all, you know like press not even something it's
[00:27:23] Something they sell men shirts where you bought that yeah, or yeah, whatever it's
[00:27:27] There that's it's so bad to the point where one
[00:27:32] When when I got with my current life from where we started dating whatever like it's just having you know
[00:27:38] Like even you like same thing, you know like you'll you'll give me crap. I'll give you kind of whatever
[00:27:43] But it's so common that I do it to her oh yeah, and
[00:27:47] You know at first he's like oh what like what why are you teasing me so much like you're it cuz I knew where you've been before
[00:27:53] We're together. I knew her for years actually and he's like kind of annoying. You know, he's like teases or whatever
[00:27:59] And I had this like
[00:28:01] Relate myself and check yeah because that because that is so so much of how guys do it
[00:28:07] You know a hundred percent right. I told this story before when I got when I was going to college and Western around team guys all day
[00:28:12] And I started doing the team guy thing with my wife
[00:28:16] Yeah, she's like hey I'm not in the teams
[00:28:19] So you can be quiet now and I was like wow
[00:28:22] She's right and I didn't even realize it cuz that's just you know all day long
[00:28:26] You show up in theatoon space and it's verbal sparring yes, as soon as you walk through the door
[00:28:30] It's only he's gonna say something. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna bring it and what's interesting is how he's how he's like
[00:28:36] I want to get to the point where you know he can back to what I think it's I would agree with this
[00:28:40] I'll probably even hundred ten percent which is hard to agree a hundred percent
[00:28:44] But I feel this way it's probably stronger than him like
[00:28:47] You ever been around someone who like you just can't really joke around with like yeah
[00:28:52] I'm not the guy who all tease someone and try to like make them
[00:28:56] You know, especially if I don't know good or whatever, but um, but if you're around someone who like can't really take it
[00:29:02] You can't joke around with them. It's like man. I don't want that guy to be there man
[00:29:05] I wish he just wasn't you know
[00:29:07] I'm not mad at him, but I just I don't want to hang around with that guy
[00:29:09] You don't want to be that guy. No, so I even if like a special first like let's say okay
[00:29:15] I'm this guy right here the worst is someone that can dish it out but can't take it yeah
[00:29:19] But yeah, that is the worst. It's I don't I would the only reason I wouldn't say he's the worst is
[00:29:24] What's worse if he's dishing it out and he can't take it? It's kind of you get a payoff of teasing the guy
[00:29:30] I'm saying true. It let's say he doesn't dish it up. Let's say he's just a guy
[00:29:33] You just can't joke around with this like man. You're making me uncomfortable kind of thing
[00:29:37] You know, but if this guy because you
[00:29:38] It's your point if it's yeah, if you load is annoying when people can't take it
[00:29:42] And you make a joke and they get all fired up and they're like actually mad
[00:29:47] Yeah, that is annoying. That's what that's how you end up with people that aren't really your friends
[00:29:50] Oh, really different exactly right so but yes, yes, so get their man
[00:29:55] I actually get there and at first just and you kind of made it really clear to me
[00:30:00] How you know when you make a change something it's not gonna woo boom your
[00:30:04] For reasons with the change going full speed, you know
[00:30:06] What do you say low drag?
[00:30:08] High speed low drag
[00:30:10] It's not gonna be like that right at first especially with this kind of stuff if you if you already know you're insecure
[00:30:15] Yeah, which is a big step ahead by the way some people there are I'm not insecure
[00:30:19] I mean while they're either you're making it they know it but they just don't make it
[00:30:21] Yeah, so this guy, you know, so but you're gonna feel it man when they call you big you know
[00:30:26] Whatever they're calling you whatever
[00:30:28] You're gonna sort of feel it on the inside still but just don't behave you know in a way
[00:30:33] Just like I don't know. I don't know what to do there's plenty of things to do but yeah, man
[00:30:37] You do want to get there 100%
[00:30:39] Yeah check
[00:30:41] Next question. I'm a
[00:30:44] Jock
[00:30:46] Number three, sorry. How do you deal with ultimatums from customers bosses?
[00:30:50] It's set true
[00:30:52] That are unrealistic due to the nature of the situation and the ultimatum
[00:30:58] What I'm gonna do with ultimatums is I am going to tell the truth
[00:31:04] about the situation two them
[00:31:06] But first
[00:31:08] I'm gonna tell the truth about the situation to myself
[00:31:14] Because
[00:31:15] You gotta look at the situation inside yourself is this truly unattainable like truly unattainable
[00:31:22] And and sometimes
[00:31:23] Even though it seems truly unattainable but then when you actually think about it you realize oh I could attain this
[00:31:28] I can make this happen. I'm gonna have to sacrifice whatever to make it happen. I'm gonna have to
[00:31:34] To to
[00:31:36] It's gonna cost me or the team or the company something in order to make it happen like oh you want that done
[00:31:43] You want that you want that project done by you know the 15th cool we'll get it done
[00:31:49] But here's what we're not gonna be able to do or here's what I'm not gonna be able to do
[00:31:54] And I'm also gonna make sure that I
[00:31:58] Pressure test
[00:31:59] The ultimatum against me giving the absolute full measure of effort
[00:32:06] Right like wow if I go
[00:32:09] 110% right not even on a person beyond you're gonna give everything you can is it achievable
[00:32:16] Because a lot of times people will do it's an ultimatum can't make it well as a
[00:32:21] Member of a team I
[00:32:23] Want people's attitude to be like you know what?
[00:32:25] We're gonna do it. We're gonna get it done no one else be able to do this, but we're gonna do it watch
[00:32:31] That's I like saying that sometimes watch watch
[00:32:36] I used to say watch me work
[00:32:38] Yeah, I forgot it from some
[00:32:41] Ali
[00:32:42] So then okay, so now you truly
[00:32:44] You tell yourself the truth about the situation you figure out
[00:32:49] That there's truly under no circumstances that this is possible
[00:32:53] Then it's my time to tell them the truth which is like listen and I'll get my data together I'll get my information together
[00:33:00] I'll explain to them
[00:33:03] What you know what why I can't I'm not gonna be able to physically get this done it's just physically not possible
[00:33:11] and then
[00:33:13] You know what the short falls are gonna be now and once I explain that to him if they're if they're completely unwavering
[00:33:18] Because if you explain everything and you put your data together and you say look the bottom line is to do
[00:33:22] To to assemble this many pieces by our best two people on the team
[00:33:27] It takes them an hour each and you want us to assemble 14 of them in three hours. It is not possible for us to do that
[00:33:35] And even if you gave me more people it doesn't matter they don't how to do that so it can't be done
[00:33:39] I need at least whatever six hours with those whatever whatever it is
[00:33:45] If they're unwilling
[00:33:47] To to waver on the ultimate them at all like no go you need to get it done you need to get done. Well, I want them to do okay
[00:33:54] I'm gonna try my hardest I'm gonna buckle down. I'm gonna do my best
[00:33:59] I'm gonna see how much how close I can get to achieving the goal
[00:34:03] I'm gonna have fun. I'm gonna go so hard
[00:34:06] That it's gonna get nuts like we're gonna get it done and then
[00:34:12] when if we fall short
[00:34:15] Which we will because I figured out there's no physical humanly possible way to make this happen
[00:34:21] Then what I'm gonna do is I will go to them and I'll explain
[00:34:25] The things that I am going to do differently next time in order to meet their goals right?
[00:34:30] I'm gonna say listen, you know what I
[00:34:33] I should have asked you earlier if this was a possible thing and I should have had a
[00:34:38] Back-up plan so here's what I'm putting into place now to make sure this does not happen again or hey
[00:34:42] I am going to need more manpower so that if we run into this again, I've got the people it's my fault for not staffing us up correctly or
[00:34:50] I need to pay more attention to what's happening in the future so that I can have a better
[00:34:55] Aware I have better awareness of when this type of situation will unfold so I can have my team prepared for it
[00:35:02] or
[00:35:03] these complexities that happened I didn't explain to them. I didn't explain them to you well enough and so
[00:35:09] If you understood if I do a better job of making you understand the difficulties of making this happen
[00:35:15] Hopefully you'll realize that there's that's more time is needed
[00:35:19] So I'm not gonna go in there and throw up my arms and see I told you so you were stupid
[00:35:24] I was right because then that's just sabotage to now they don't believe you anyways
[00:35:28] Yeah, now when you say we couldn't get it done see like I told you I told you we need more time and they're like yeah, of course
[00:35:34] You you know you you went into it think you're gonna fail and guess what the self-fulfilling
[00:35:38] Prophecy good job it good job you proved yourself to be right loser
[00:35:43] Demoted
[00:35:46] And that's what I do up and down the chain by the way, you know ultimatum's can come up and down the chain a command
[00:35:55] Hold the line do your best
[00:35:57] That's what you do
[00:35:59] That seems and tell the truth them. It all starts with telling the truth to yourself
[00:36:03] Yeah, and then to your people that you're trying to costumer
[00:36:05] Yeah, you know client. I want this foundation poured by such and such a date. Hey week
[00:36:13] We will do our best here's the shortfalls you know whatever
[00:36:16] That's the way it is yeah, and that's a big one here like where
[00:36:20] Kind of learn this from you where it's because you can
[00:36:26] Like to tell you like oh hey I can't this can't be done like you kind of you get to the point in your mind where like
[00:36:32] We both know it can be done, but I was just you know given my current rescuing sleep schedule and
[00:36:40] You know I got this chill. I like to watch it. Right? You know it's like that kind of situation
[00:36:46] I want to mess that
[00:36:48] Exactly, so it kind of shapes up to be like that you know where it's like for sure
[00:36:54] We both know and I don't know you know like if there's a box who's like just grinding someone into the ground
[00:37:00] Okay, that's a whole different scenario, but yeah at the end of the day like if you're truthful and it's like hey
[00:37:05] Get this done or you're fired kind of thing and then you start with a truth that you say it be like can I get it done and then you really think
[00:37:11] Let's say like you were gonna die or I don't know you could get it done a lot of the time
[00:37:16] I'm not saying all the time of course of course
[00:37:18] The amount of times in my naval career. Let's call it when I was in the navy that guys
[00:37:23] Said to me like we can't do it. I can't remember times like guys guys just be like
[00:37:28] Like
[00:37:33] They wouldn't be like well, I don't know jacco. I be like hey, look
[00:37:36] There's what we got to get done. I think we can do it and they'd be like
[00:37:41] Yep
[00:37:43] Because we're about to go get some but yeah, and you know obviously
[00:37:47] Situation some situations are more like more serious, you know like you're not gonna
[00:37:52] I don't know
[00:37:54] But yeah, that telling the truth thing tell the truth
[00:37:57] Yeah, I do speak from a position of luxury where I have the truth reflected at me
[00:38:02] Pretty accurately on a pretty regular basis, so I'm not saying it's that easy to tell the truth
[00:38:08] But if you just try hard try genuine you got to be genuine right genuinely
[00:38:12] be like yes, this is true about myself
[00:38:16] Check
[00:38:18] Next question
[00:38:19] Question from the next podcast is your wife discipline
[00:38:23] How do you navigate a potential mismatch between you two?
[00:38:25] What about when family non
[00:38:29] Discipline cost you an expect time and energy taking from your goals
[00:38:33] Family non discipline what like my family's not being discipline. Yeah, not unbored. Yeah, they're not on board with the program my wife
[00:38:41] Is she runs a tight ship and is disciplined in a little bit of a different wave in me
[00:38:49] Then she's not the same as me and
[00:38:51] And if that were to cause
[00:38:56] Some kind of a conflict between us
[00:38:59] Well, then that's my fault for not
[00:39:02] communicating with her and
[00:39:04] Allowing her to understand my perspective and understanding her perspective
[00:39:10] So
[00:39:12] For instance, what it was the situation right? Oh my wife wants me, you know, she wants to spend time with me in the morning whatever
[00:39:18] Right, what do you wake up early and work out?
[00:39:20] Before she's awake you are coming out. Is not her fault
[00:39:24] It's not her fault. It's my fault
[00:39:27] Well, what about when oh I really want to eat dinner with you at night. Okay, cool. I'll eat dinner with you
[00:39:33] And I'll stay up later at night so that I can get my work done
[00:39:36] And that's fine. You go to bed
[00:39:38] That's not that's not that's not my response that that's not your responsibility that's my responsibility
[00:39:43] It's not your responsibility to mold your life around my whole life, right? That's not that's that's not the way it is and by the way when the
[00:39:55] family
[00:39:56] Is
[00:39:58] Doing something that is taking away what does he say my energy taking away my energy and taking away my time
[00:40:04] Then I fix that problem and when I say that I fix the problem. I don't mean I fix them
[00:40:10] Yeah, I don't mean that I impose my discipline on them
[00:40:18] I might involve some adjustments or some attempts to get adjustments
[00:40:23] But I'm not
[00:40:25] But this really simple. I don't blame up my family when things don't go right
[00:40:34] I couldn't work out today because my kid was sick
[00:40:36] My daughter spilled the milk and I was like hey
[00:40:42] That's the same. This is just about ownership like if you just want to blame your family when you're weak or you make a mistake or you didn't organize or you didn't explain to people correctly
[00:40:52] Then that's the way it is I can say this to your family is not you
[00:40:59] Your family is not you they are on
[00:41:02] Your program that's not there that's not their deal
[00:41:08] Hey, if they're on it great that's cool
[00:41:11] My family's not all on my program
[00:41:15] That's not the way it works
[00:41:18] In pose oh that's fun
[00:41:21] The what's the where's that could you you want to you want to impose your program on everyone in your family
[00:41:27] What are they going to do?
[00:41:28] What it's the same thing happens with any team if you start imposing your strict discipline on them
[00:41:35] Cool you can get them to do what you want to do at that moment
[00:41:38] Guess what they do as soon as they get the opportunity to rebel against you they rebel
[00:41:41] You get a mutiny you get a kid that's rebellious beyond the norm that's doing thing that's actually gonna
[00:41:49] Gonna really reject you
[00:41:51] so
[00:41:53] You got a you don't blame your family
[00:41:55] Fix the problem. Do you know who you have control over you?
[00:41:58] You know control you don't have control over your nine-year-old kid you might think you do but you don't you got to make you know control over your wife
[00:42:06] To just make her you know get in the game. Oh
[00:42:10] You want to you want to stay on the program you want to cook
[00:42:14] Uh whatever 14 chicken breasts on a Sunday night so you got two a day during the week honey make it happen
[00:42:21] No honey make that happen
[00:42:25] If you are a good leader and you explain what your goals are and you get her on board with the program
[00:42:32] Then yeah guess what she's doing on Sunday night help and you cook some chicken breast for the week
[00:42:37] Yeah, but this is just like anything else man. This is just like any other leader's situation. You want to blame the team when something's going wrong
[00:42:45] That's not gonna get you a solution
[00:42:48] You need to take ownership of the problem you need to get the problem solved and when I say get the problem solved
[00:42:54] You this doesn't mean impose your will on the team that means you need to lead the team and there's a big difference
[00:43:03] So
[00:43:05] Get some yeah
[00:43:07] Yeah, can you lean in by the way the better just like anything else just like hack worth the better relationship that you build with your wife and with your kids
[00:43:18] Guess what the more flexibility you have the more the way they give you
[00:43:25] The worse
[00:43:27] Relationship you build with your wife and kids the less flexible and the less leeway and the less chicken breast you're gonna have cook for you
[00:43:34] They're not in the game with you
[00:43:36] Yeah, so build a relationship
[00:43:38] I know that might sound like like oh, we're married so we have relationship
[00:43:42] Not necessarily true
[00:43:44] Yeah, build a relationship make them understand where you're coming from make them understand what the strategic goals are
[00:43:49] Yeah, make them understand just like in the leadership situation make sure they understand how the strategic goals that you're trying to achieve for yourself
[00:43:56] Well then come all the way back down and impact them in a positive way because by the way
[00:44:01] If you're doing things strategically, it'll help you that are gonna screw over the rest of the team or in this case family
[00:44:05] Guess what you're not gonna get support for those goals because they're not helping out the team if you're doing it for yourself and yourself only
[00:44:12] That's problematic
[00:44:16] So if you're hey, I want to work out. I want to get you know, I want to work out. I want to change you to every day
[00:44:22] Okay, well, how do I benefit from that? Yeah honey?
[00:44:25] How does it? Yeah, okay? Well, let me tell you how here's my plan
[00:44:28] In six years, you know, I'm a purple belt right now in six years
[00:44:31] I'm gonna get my black belt and when I get my black belt we're gonna open a school when I open a school guess what we're gonna do all day
[00:44:37] We're gonna teach you to get you we're gonna hang out on a gym. We're gonna have a good time
[00:44:40] That's the strategic goal. I need you in the game with me right now. That's totally different
[00:44:44] Then I want to trade
[00:44:46] Yeah, I'm a man. Yeah, don't keep me from this. Yeah, yeah, and that's
[00:44:52] Depending on who you're obviously, but I would even say that's even speaking from my own experience
[00:44:56] That's even over saying it really like let's say you take jiu-jitsu or working out of whatever
[00:45:03] Yeah, yeah, you know like to you know to do that, but I get I get the example for sure
[00:45:07] You're gonna see something much more simple like hey easier way more babe just say hey this this part of my life
[00:45:13] Even if it's new it's new. I know our families chaotic. You need my help with the kids and then
[00:45:18] Be like but hey this this sort of this means a lot to me and it makes me feel good makes me you know a happy person
[00:45:22] Whatever it can mean you can we make this work you know can we do what you know how you like this other thing sure
[00:45:30] Yeah, I want to support you doing that here's what I need support right? Yes, this thing puts a smile on my face
[00:45:36] You want me smiling around here you that's what and people I'm sure someone's gonna bring up the fact that there were times
[00:45:42] When I was in the dirt aims and I would come home for work at 7.30 at night
[00:45:47] I'd pick up my gym bag and drop off my my work bag and I just walk
[00:45:52] I'd go I'm gonna train and there was a few times
[00:45:56] Where she did not want me to go train tears in her eyes
[00:46:00] You've got to be kidding me you've been going all week you've been gone for two weeks you come home at
[00:46:04] 7.30 and you're gonna go train is that a eating dinner with us. That was like yep
[00:46:10] That the reason I bring that up because I know someone's gonna bring up that's not good leadership
[00:46:13] That's not me being cool. Yeah, that's not me building the relationship. That's me moving in the other direction
[00:46:19] Yeah, so that's not what I'm saying to do but if you come home. Hey, look here's the deal here's what's going on
[00:46:25] Here's why I you know what I've got a lot of I come home from work. I got a lot of stuff on my brain
[00:46:32] I'm in a bad mood when I come home and I don't want to be in a bad mood around you don't
[00:46:36] Be a bad mood around the kids. I'm gonna go train for an hour when I come back. I'm gonna have a smile on my face watch
[00:46:42] Watch what boom and that's actually my wife eventually told me like oh when you don't train
[00:46:52] You're not nice to be around not that I was intentionally going all you could train no, but you just have the
[00:46:58] You don't you don't have that release
[00:47:00] Yeah, that that is a real thing for sure. I mean it's manageable everyone's different. I think obviously
[00:47:06] But I wouldn't you can even say so many even more because that's a hard one to sell sometimes to some people to be like hey
[00:47:14] All be happier, you know then there'll be like hmm well or except for that all be happier
[00:47:21] Mains will be happier yeah and you got to you're right though. You got to give and take right? You got to say okay
[00:47:27] What do you what can I do for you exactly right? That's that's what it is be like hey this means a lot to me, you know
[00:47:32] To and usually you know in a relationship like that they care if something means something to your husband or wife or whatever
[00:47:39] Like that's not nothing that's something you know look if you if the if your husband and you say this
[00:47:44] You just it means a lot to me
[00:47:46] Therefore you need to sacrifice your whole thing to accommodate it
[00:47:50] You can do that, but it's not nothing so you say as a leader you can't have the team sacrifice everything for you
[00:47:58] You think yeah, you're gonna do a good job on this mission. I'm gonna get promoted
[00:48:03] You know or hey if we do a good job with this product
[00:48:06] We're I'm gonna make more money. It's more from my bottom line
[00:48:10] For the ability for our shareholders no one cares the front end doesn't care about profitability for the shareholders must understand how it relates back to them
[00:48:16] Yeah, so family doesn't care about you trained in jutsu unless they realize how it's gonna
[00:48:21] Come back to you so what you do is you tell her like hey just
[00:48:24] Can can we make this work and actually whatever however this gets in the way of us you know like whatever like I
[00:48:31] Want to just in general make that up to some way you know like what can you what can I do for you like I
[00:48:36] Said or what do you want to do something or let's let's do this so we can both kind of have something fun come with me
[00:48:42] If you want but hey, I don't don't just automatically expect you to love jutsu like yeah love jutsu
[00:48:48] Unfortunately, I'm for sure it goes forever. You know most
[00:48:51] It's possible. It's very possible. Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying you know you it's like how you say like make it
[00:48:57] Make you gotta accommodate it. You know, so if you're doing like a workout
[00:49:01] Let's say it's a year thing right. Okay. Like don't work out. You know and that's my thing whatever
[00:49:06] Did you do I think that different cuz working out is like you can kind of do that whenever you know
[00:49:12] But jutsu is like if you don't be you got so trained with some people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know
[00:49:17] So yeah, man if
[00:49:19] And constant communication to by the way, but you know because after a while
[00:49:24] It's like how you gonna jutsu again
[00:49:25] You're like done the kids kind of need help with the homework and I'm swamp with this other family stuff
[00:49:30] You know kind of thing but if you're constantly communicating and then you'll tell you hey
[00:49:33] Do you mind not going on this day because of this and you're like hmm okay
[00:49:36] Me going this specific day is that more important than the help that they need with the homework
[00:49:41] You know and you can accurately kind of navigate your way through your new situation, you know
[00:49:45] But yeah, you're gonna keep talking on that one cuz some people they think oh I can go do you did it now?
[00:49:49] Yeah, I don't know saying nothing. I'm just rolling out under every circle. You know
[00:49:53] Doesn't work like that sometimes don't don't be like me in that situation. Don't be like taco you probably my wife is very understanding
[00:50:01] Yeah, so
[00:50:02] That's great. Yeah, my wife probably would have murdered me like
[00:50:06] Right face. Oh like killed me as a crime
[00:50:10] Next question
[00:50:11] Would love to hear your thoughts on the dichotomy of honest self expression versus normal face and or passion versus
[00:50:19] Discipline if you aren't caught up on all the podcast normal faces a game
[00:50:24] I used to play with my kids where they would have to keep an expressionless face or what I called the normal face good game
[00:50:30] But I and you I would line up my kids and
[00:50:33] They would have to keep that face and then if they changed their expression anyway
[00:50:37] I would hit them in the head with a with the inside cardboard roll of a thing of wrapping paper and
[00:50:44] Or I had eventually made like foam pieces for it because they were a little bit more durable and
[00:50:49] And you could hit really hard and it would not
[00:50:52] So anyways, I know it sounds like you should call child services on me
[00:50:56] But it's fun game to play because as you hit one kid
[00:50:59] It makes the other kids laugh and then you end up hitting them all and everyone's laughing. It's fun
[00:51:02] so and there's also a pragmatic
[00:51:05] Reason to do it because it teaches people to control their emotions and
[00:51:11] There are times there are many times where you have to learn to control your motions and as kids if you learn to control your motions
[00:51:18] It's gonna be beneficial for you in many ways
[00:51:21] But does that mean that you should keep normal face all the time?
[00:51:25] Never show emotions. No, it's not like that at all
[00:51:28] There's like everything else. There's a dichotomy that you have to balance if you're kid wins a wrestling match
[00:51:33] You should be happy and great smile and yeah, high five, right? That's cool
[00:51:40] if you bite
[00:51:43] Into a
[00:51:45] amazing piece of
[00:51:48] Primrib that your wife cooked for you
[00:51:52] Then you should raise your fist to the air and say yes
[00:51:56] My wife the first time she ever cooked Primrib she she and she's we didn't know this but she has a talent
[00:52:04] She knows she cooks dry chicken Primrib she knocks it on the park first time she ever cooked Primrib
[00:52:10] And I took my I'd smell the amazing I was like oh, this is I took my first bite
[00:52:15] I looked at her and I looked up better and I said I want to re-do our vows for her
[00:52:21] I
[00:52:23] Renew the vows it would re-do the vows so yes
[00:52:28] You know scenarios like that yeah, you want to show your emotions and if you hear something if your team slacks off
[00:52:37] And if you fail the mission you fail the task
[00:52:41] Of course you're gonna own it, but you might you know you might want to show a little anger about what happened
[00:52:46] So everyone knows like oh
[00:52:48] Who's chocolate was normally get mad and he's mad and so we really did something bad and you know even though you're playing on yourself
[00:52:54] I can't believe I'm like this down
[00:52:56] You know what I mean like you show a little bit that people go okay
[00:53:00] So there you're gonna show some most you if you get bad and when you get news that that you know
[00:53:05] You got a friend that died we know that's you got to let those emotions out. There's all
[00:53:10] Kind of situations where emotions are not only acceptable but they're needed and they're required and in fact if you don't have
[00:53:17] Emotions in those situations
[00:53:21] That's horrible you need to have them not only as a person as a human being you need to let out your emotions on times
[00:53:27] But as a leader
[00:53:29] If you don't show any emotions at all
[00:53:32] No one's gonna follow you. There's no connection between you and the people on your team
[00:53:39] And if you ever if you just sit there and think about people that you've worked for that didn't show emotions
[00:53:43] You had no connection with them. You don't care about them. You'll leave you won't go the extra mile to get the job done
[00:53:49] So you have to show emotions but of course there are many times in life in the world
[00:53:55] Where showing your emotions are gonna have a negative impact on your situation your
[00:54:01] You you give up the take down
[00:54:03] And you just do competition and you show it in your face that person just thinks that's
[00:54:09] Procue right you're a show any emotion there boss tells you you're getting stuck with the underperforming team
[00:54:17] Show any emotion right don't don't don't
[00:54:22] Don't do that but hey what about this? There's a good one bosses giving you feedback that you don't agree with
[00:54:29] Roll your eyes
[00:54:31] Mean the heavy side the clenched teeth as you're trying to listen with this person you can even respect him. He's telling you what's that gonna get you?
[00:54:40] Not gonna get you anything that's showing that negative emotion there
[00:54:43] You need to keep normal face in that situation your kids doing something that's annoying is trying to test your patience
[00:54:48] And they're just trying to piss you off don't let him keep it in check
[00:54:56] Get told to go to the other line in DMV
[00:54:59] After you've been waiting for an hour and one don't freak out don't show any emotions got it
[00:55:06] Here's here's another one we already talked about this one your friends are poking front of you
[00:55:12] Because you missed a shot at the range or you got lost on a land navigation course or whatever
[00:55:17] Look at all mad
[00:55:19] Don't get frustrated don't show any motion
[00:55:21] You know they make fun of your haircut they make fun of your accent they make fun of whatever don't show emotions don't freak out
[00:55:32] That's the other balance now they're also times
[00:55:36] Where you might have to force yourself to show some emotion just to get the point across right your kid hasn't listened you after five or six violations
[00:55:45] You might have to show some anger or they do something that's gonna get him hurt right
[00:55:50] You got to show some emotion so that they realize that was real
[00:55:54] But flying off the temper and flying off the handle and losing your temper is almost never does you any good
[00:55:59] So yeah, you have to be balanced in order to be balanced you have to be in control and in order being control
[00:56:04] You have to detach from your emotions so control your emotions and not let your emotions control you
[00:56:13] I think we already talked about this one part before we're like
[00:56:16] You know like with your kids or whatever and you're you fly off the handle not fly off the handle
[00:56:21] But you you show emotion you raise your voice and yell at him because this one is important this less than that
[00:56:27] I'm teaching you obviously didn't get it before what it
[00:56:30] Here thing you can't do that every single time you know every single lesson like okay
[00:56:34] Oh, it was effective when it raised my voice. Let me just raise my voice now right logically
[00:56:38] Let me if that if that is what induces their compliance
[00:56:42] Let me just do that right doesn't work that way because after all I like all birds all just don't noise
[00:56:47] Yeah, no, so yeah, you got to be like no face. Yeah, yeah
[00:56:52] Or yeah, just be like normal face normal face normal face everything, you know
[00:56:56] And then like the one time you use it. It's like the what do you call the
[00:57:00] There's this video game. You used to play it's like you could just put the button
[00:57:05] You blow up everybody
[00:57:07] Anyway long story, but yeah, don't use it all the time is what I'm saying just use it like sparingly
[00:57:12] You're saying yeah judiciously
[00:57:15] Cool, let's get how do you know what you're saying?
[00:57:18] Next question. I'm in college
[00:57:21] And I'm working towards going to OCS after I graduate I work a food service job
[00:57:27] I was trying to teach a 17 year old at work why she shouldn't have fast cleaning a fryer
[00:57:32] I said because of unmedicated daily discipline in all things that includes cleaning the fire
[00:57:42] She still didn't quite get it. I didn't say to her that I make the I make the fryer spotless because if I
[00:57:49] Can't manage to clean the fire how can I expect myself to lead people in the military?
[00:57:54] It's so facto war
[00:57:58] Because I didn't think that
[00:58:00] I
[00:58:01] Didn't think that was appropriate to say to that a 17 year old girl. I try to lead by example, but I'm not sure
[00:58:08] That is enough. How can I best explain or show my younger coworkers? Why they should have unmedicated daily discipline in all things when she
[00:58:16] When the stakes are only a fryer and not lives
[00:58:22] Okay
[00:58:25] Let's see
[00:58:27] This is
[00:58:29] We're kind of in the same vein on some stuff tonight, which is good
[00:58:33] Right, it's good first of all because unmedicated daily discipline and all things should be first of for us to apply to you
[00:58:39] Not not everyone else around you. Let's start with yourself imposing discipline on other people is not leadership
[00:58:45] It's just an awful or authoritarian person barking orders
[00:58:51] So
[00:58:52] To answer your question well first of all read if you haven't read the book that I caught in me of leadership
[00:58:56] Um, you might want to check that one out
[00:59:00] There's a couple chapters you could focus on one of them is called resolute but not overbearing one of them is called disciplined but not rigid
[00:59:08] One of them is called hold people accountable, but don't hold their hands
[00:59:12] And and this is pretty much why we had to write the dichotomy of leadership because you're out there good on you trying to take extreme ownership
[00:59:21] And that's great, but you're not you're not paying attention to the dichotomy of leadership
[00:59:26] So let me let me break it down for you a little bit more clearly and then you can go read the book as well, which will help you
[00:59:34] You say that the stakes are only a clean fryer and not lives and
[00:59:41] You're right
[00:59:44] Lives are not at stake and neither really is the functionality of the fire itself
[00:59:50] Because it doesn't have to be completely spotless and in fact if you're trying to keep it completely spotless
[00:59:55] It might actually waste time that she could be doing something that's more important like
[00:59:59] Prepping the potatoes or washing her hands to keep the food sanitary
[01:00:07] So you need to think about that how
[01:00:10] Truly important like when you say on when I say because I say this all time and I apologize for throwing you a little bit
[01:00:16] Too far in one direction unmitigated daily discipline in all things. There's no
[01:00:20] There's no departure from that right that's what it is. There's no departure for that
[01:00:27] But here's the deal if you're in the military and you got spun up about little things that don't really matter
[01:00:32] You are wasting your leadership capital and
[01:00:36] When something it actually important it's what you were just talking about echo when something actually important comes up
[01:00:42] Your troops aren't even going to listen to you because they don't know what anything
[01:00:45] They don't know what's important and what's not because you say that everything is important
[01:00:48] Like hey, why do I need to stay on watch? Why do I need to stay awake during watch?
[01:00:54] That's not any more important to you than whether I have a
[01:00:58] Staying on my shirt because you're freaking out about everything
[01:01:01] So so how do I know what's what?
[01:01:06] Now, here's the deal you can go to far into other direction you can let people do whatever they want
[01:01:10] They can completely lock discipline and the little things do matter
[01:01:14] The little things do matter, but you gotta remember they only matter a little
[01:01:19] And if you waste your time and you waste your leadership and you waste your energy
[01:01:23] On things that don't matter or things that matter very little then you won't be able to
[01:01:28] Lead your team when it really counts what happens is it's a slip leash it's a slope
[01:01:32] It's it's a it's a slippery slope and if you let
[01:01:35] Something slide
[01:01:37] Then you let something outside then you let something outside eventually you've got no discipline
[01:01:41] So you have to be careful of that
[01:01:46] But at the same time it's the other direction what you end up in in the other direction if you if you
[01:01:52] If you impose unmitigated daily discipline in all things
[01:01:57] You're gonna end up like
[01:01:59] Here's a movie reference echo Charles animal house sure have you seen it?
[01:02:03] Yeah, okay, so you don't remember need your mire the ROTC guy
[01:02:08] That's yeah, we can everyone you're worthless and weak. He's like that
[01:02:14] He's a guy that's just barking and going crazy and that's a comical example, but I'll tell you what you want a real example
[01:02:20] A real a real good example that you can check out once again going watch the first episode of the band of brother series and check out Captain Solbel
[01:02:29] They're company commander of easy company. He is hardcore and he has he imposes
[01:02:38] Absolute unmitigated discipline and all things on his whole company
[01:02:44] He called the line
[01:02:48] Oh dirty weapon no no liberty for you
[01:02:52] Pass revoked
[01:02:54] Rust on your knife past revoked
[01:02:56] Uniform out of uniform creases in your boots or creases in your pants
[01:03:01] Pass revoked
[01:03:02] Oh that guy's doing it. He's doing that unmitigated discipline in all things and guess what happens to him?
[01:03:08] He gets fired his troops hate him
[01:03:12] He's worried about things that don't matter dick winners totally square the way worries about things that are important
[01:03:18] And he and as a individual and if you remember I don't even know if they show this in many brothers
[01:03:25] But as an individual imposing discipline on himself guess what he's doing during the battle of bolts
[01:03:31] Battle of bolts middle the winter snowed in don't have winter gear
[01:03:36] They're freezing they're dying. What's winter's doing in the morning?
[01:03:40] He's up and he's shaving
[01:03:42] He's getting up and he's shaving his batowing commander comes over like bro
[01:03:46] Or are you sure you need to shave he's okay?
[01:03:50] Just hold them on so
[01:03:54] That's why we wrote that economy leadership this stuff is a balance and you have to learn to balance
[01:03:59] You don't want to end up going and ending up like captain so bell and I hope everybody that's has that tendency to want to control things
[01:04:10] And they want to use
[01:04:12] Discipline and they want to use unmitigated daily discipline and all things you want to use that as your slogan
[01:04:20] To beat people down go watch the first episode of band of brothers and get your act together
[01:04:30] Yeah, the fight that reminded me of when you
[01:04:33] We're talking about your gym floor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean sure you don't want the you don't want a bag and you're dirty clothes and socks and shoes all over the floor
[01:04:42] You worked out, but it does for a reason yeah the same way the whole reasoning got to clean the flyers or the
[01:04:47] Flyer for a reason you know, so you know the reason his I'm not as familiar with flyers, but
[01:04:53] I'm sure work at Wendy's like I did
[01:04:56] I can tell you that the external the external cleanliness of the fryer is not a big deal
[01:05:00] Do you want like you said you wanted to be cake to with grease?
[01:05:04] Where it's a fire hazard? No, yeah, but guess what it's a functional item that you're using all day
[01:05:09] There's gonna be some spots on it and if I'm freaking out about that guess what I got somebody that's not washing their hands or even worse
[01:05:14] I got someone that's intentionally sabotaging the food to we get bad reviews now we're going out of business
[01:05:20] Yeah, whatever
[01:05:21] Yeah, so it's essentially like hey, man identify the use the the optimal use of the fryer and
[01:05:28] Let's target that is like the bet the right way to clean it kind of thing
[01:05:32] You know and that's sort of it like don't you don't have to sweep your gym floor and mop it
[01:05:37] And be sure that you can see your face in the I'm getting more talk on that thing in
[01:05:41] 23 hours. Yeah, 22 hours right it makes no difference yeah to why I have a gym floor
[01:05:46] I have the gym floor so I can drop weights and walk that's it kind of thing not so you know
[01:05:51] I can I don't know be super disciplined waste of my time mopping it and you know all this stuff because I'm
[01:05:57] Unmitigated daily discipline and all things
[01:06:00] You have a functionality you have to uphold
[01:06:02] Imagine how many
[01:06:04] Hours of my life. I would have thrown away if I was mopping cleaning sweeping and vacuuming my gym floor every day when I got it
[01:06:11] We take as long as my workout or take probably at 20 minutes. I guess yeah, so there's there's what almost two hours a week
[01:06:18] Two a little over two hours a week gone gone
[01:06:21] You think I got two hours a week think about what two hours two hours is like a massive amount of time
[01:06:26] Yeah, that's a good two hours is a huge amount of time
[01:06:30] Unless give that away you own a commercial gym then you want to mop that floor
[01:06:36] Cuz it adds to the functionality
[01:06:37] Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna get the floor is gonna be clean. Yep, but guess what here go to the extreme
[01:06:44] Hey, we just cleaned that floor don't walk on it
[01:06:47] Hey, the part of the gym is shut down for you know because we just moped it. It's like now
[01:06:51] You just moped it. We're gonna use it. Yeah, so it's kind at the end of the day. It's kind of like
[01:06:57] What unmitigated daily discipline in all things that what that are functional?
[01:07:04] That are functional for sure that are our our for yourself for put that on yourself
[01:07:10] Put that on yourself and here's what here's you really want to take this to the next level. Yes
[01:07:14] Be disciplined in how you impose discipline on people
[01:07:20] Don't just let it run wild. Do you have to have discipline in it?
[01:07:24] That's the way it is
[01:07:27] Yeah, yeah, kind of does something that picture how yours every time I get these questions
[01:07:31] It's like I'm so happy we wrote that I caught a me a leadership
[01:07:34] Because there's the answer yeah
[01:07:37] That's the answer the answer is this all this is a dichotomy everything is it and people don't want it to be a night dichotomy because it's
[01:07:44] dichotomies are complex dichotomies are hard
[01:07:49] dichotomies take
[01:07:51] It takes skill to learn to balance and it takes awareness of the situation
[01:07:57] It's hard it's so much easier to say oh you just impose your discipline to make everyone do you want to do
[01:08:02] You can't do that you'll end up with a mutiny my my second pull-toon
[01:08:08] The when we had a mutiny we worked for a guy that made us do everything his way
[01:08:13] My way or the highway guess what didn't work mutiny. It was a highway, but not for us for him
[01:08:18] Yeah, yeah, and not a bad guy wasn't a bad guy wouldn't have bad intentions
[01:08:26] But that's where this guy is heading he said an OCS and if he keeps with that attitude
[01:08:30] He's gonna end up in those situations. That's beautiful. I'm so glad he asked this question
[01:08:35] Because I'm glad he asked this question because it's not his fault. He's listening to what I said and I didn't
[01:08:41] Communicate it well enough
[01:08:43] So now he asked a great question and now he can take a much much better approach a much more
[01:08:49] Balance approach in his leadership
[01:08:53] Like flying a kite can you look I had a phone a kite, but what this has nothing to do with fun
[01:08:58] No, no, I should have said I got to bring it back on there
[01:09:02] No, but the fundamental principle right you know you know well depend on what kind of kite I get it
[01:09:07] But you know kind with the two handles the two strings you know you had a
[01:09:10] See I'm saying you got a kind of pull one and let one go a little bit to and then it depends on the wind you know
[01:09:16] Depends on how strong the wind is and you got a pull curl let that would lack out from telling me
[01:09:21] Surflight kite now. I just flew on like maybe like you know five six seven weeks ago
[01:09:26] Good windy day. Go by the way next question
[01:09:29] As a leader, do you ever come fight in anyone or seek counsel from anyone or do you just wrestle with issues within yourself and try to figure things out on your own?
[01:09:37] Another really good question and I do both of course. I try and figure out things on my own, but here's the little
[01:09:45] Secret is it a secret? It's not really a secret because I'm not to tell everyone
[01:09:48] But it's something that I wouldn't really talk about because it's just something I wouldn't say clearly do
[01:09:53] When I'm figuring things out on my own
[01:09:55] At the same time I I
[01:09:58] Seek counsel
[01:09:59] I said it seat counsel from the the trusted
[01:10:03] teammates that I have or
[01:10:05] peers or superiors or or subordinates that I trust
[01:10:11] But while when I counsel them when I when I see counsel when I ask for feedback
[01:10:16] While I'm trying to figure out things on my own I actually keep those thoughts to myself
[01:10:24] In the beginning right I've let other people tell me what their ideas are first I want to hear
[01:10:30] What they come up with because if and if somebody comes up with a good plan
[01:10:33] We're going with it like if it's a thing you know what that's pretty good plan. We'll go with that
[01:10:38] Because as I've said many times I prefer to use one of my subordinates plans
[01:10:43] One of my subordinates plan over mine. I would rather to use my subordinates plan
[01:10:48] Rather than mine as long as it's technically sound because
[01:10:54] Then they they believe in their plan right and if it's not tackly sound yep
[01:10:58] I give them a little nudge to make some corrections and still use their plan because I want them to use their solutions in their plans
[01:11:06] So that way like I said they have ownership of the plan
[01:11:12] And when they're coming up with the plan
[01:11:15] Guess what's gonna happen they're gonna get too close to it
[01:11:17] They're gonna do what I talked about in that opening story which is they're gonna they're gonna be at low altitude
[01:11:22] They're gonna be staring at it right in the face and I'm gonna be allowed to
[01:11:26] Remain detached and remain out to two so I have a better perspective with the overall plan than they do and that ends up making me look like a tactical genius
[01:11:34] Which is awesome
[01:11:37] So so I guess this is the secret this is the trick or whatever don't talk so much
[01:11:44] Don't talk so much
[01:11:46] Don't feel the need
[01:11:48] Don't feel the need something you have to resist as a leader as a person that wants to be a leader
[01:11:53] Yeah, they fully says some about people aspiring leaders right if you're an aspiring leader
[01:11:59] Don't feel like you're the person that has to always come up with a plan or come up with a solution
[01:12:04] Even when you are the leader don't feel like you're that guy in fact it's better to not do that
[01:12:09] It's better just to to think and to just listen to what people are saying and watch their plans
[01:12:16] Come out and get shot down and get reformulated and be improved and if you hadn't said anything yet
[01:12:22] Guess what the longer you don't say anything the more people are gonna listen when you actually open your mouth
[01:12:27] So just kind of keep your mouth shut now here's this is a little bit different because we're talking about like a plan
[01:12:33] Right, I'm a strategy or something what if it's something political within your team
[01:12:38] You know what I mean then what do you do?
[01:12:40] What it is the same thing like I will think I will listen
[01:12:44] I will discuss things with people and gather intelligence from them
[01:12:50] I want to ask them some probing questions
[01:12:53] But I'm not gonna divulge what my position is because number one that will influence them
[01:12:57] They will make them react and I don't want to influence anyone or make them react until I'm gonna be able to
[01:13:04] Influence them and get them to react and act the way that I want them that's gonna benefit the team
[01:13:11] So I'm gonna ask some some questions
[01:13:14] Why what do you think about what do you think about what do you think's going on with Jenny? Is he he seems to be acting is he okay?
[01:13:22] I'll ask you I'll ask him I'll ask Mike I'll ask Bill I'll ask Jennifer Wilph
[01:13:26] I'll find out what's going on in my role Jennifer and Bill they say something a little bit different. Oh, okay
[01:13:33] See I'm gonna gather the political perspectives and
[01:13:36] Listen I'm gonna let things unfold I'm going to observe
[01:13:45] And relax and detach and listen and think and calculate that's what we're doing and
[01:13:53] Diacodomy if something needs to happen and I have to be decisive
[01:13:58] I'm gonna make it a decision. We're gonna go with it. I'm gonna put it out there
[01:14:01] So oddly enough as a leader don't talk so much
[01:14:08] I know that seems crazy
[01:14:10] The more you talk the less people listen
[01:14:14] What about in like
[01:14:17] Every day stuff I guess maybe this wouldn't really apply to as a leader but maybe like as a person you know
[01:14:22] How like like you you know confide in hall like all have a problem come in
[01:14:26] It'll be like hey, let me get your advice whatever about something that obviously it didn't feel yeah like appropriate to like just ask all my friends kind of thing, you know like
[01:14:37] Do you ever do that
[01:14:41] No
[01:14:42] You just mainly think about it yourself well
[01:14:45] What I would do
[01:14:48] Is you know I like I do it I would I just said I would do I'd be like hey, man
[01:14:52] What's going on with this?
[01:14:54] You know now I guess if you were see you when you come and ask me something you're asking me something you always ask me about something
[01:15:01] I'm not a part of anyway
[01:15:03] Yeah, so it's different so yeah if it's like that if it's something I'm completely if something if there's someone that's completely outside the situation
[01:15:10] Yeah, I'll say hey, this is what's going on. You know this is going on here
[01:15:14] We had this happen. I got this situation and just yeah for sure. I'll do that. Yes, so that is good
[01:15:20] But but if it's within the team then I generally just won't come out and ask like hey
[01:15:27] What do you you know I want to change this? It's not gonna be like hey, what what do you? What would you change about?
[01:15:33] You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah ask them what they think first
[01:15:37] Yeah, because you might have to make some adjustment if I come in and like echo
[01:15:40] We're changing the way we record this thing now here's what's happening and you're like oh, okay
[01:15:45] In your listening and the first thing you say to me is like that doesn't make any sense
[01:15:50] Now I feel now I'm an idiot especially when you say well here's the here's why I won't work
[01:15:54] Jocco boom you lay out three things instead of I was like hey, man
[01:15:58] What would you think about this issue that we're having?
[01:16:01] What solutions do you think we could do to solve that?
[01:16:04] And I'll be so I get to listen to your ideas and by the way when you come up with one of those ideas and one of them sounds pretty good to me
[01:16:10] Guess what we're doing that one
[01:16:12] Now who's got ownership of that idea? Yeah, man who's all fired up to implement it. You do
[01:16:19] Yeah, and I didn't waste any leadership guy in fact I gained leadership capital because now you're like man
[01:16:24] Jocco's are you trust me, dude? Yeah, it's pretty cool. He's letting me run this
[01:16:28] Yeah, and as speaking from person who doesn't necessarily well
[01:16:34] It doesn't seem like I necessarily get that big of a payoff to have that to like I'm running this, you know like I don't know for whatever reason didn't I?
[01:16:41] I never felt like that was a big thing to me to be like I running it
[01:16:44] But I don't know maybe it is maybe in my subconscious because I know that you do that to me
[01:16:49] And I'm that's why it's actually kind of funny because you don't do it in big with big things necessarily
[01:16:54] You know, maybe maybe you will whatever but so most of the time it's just some little tea
[01:16:59] Some all thing and like oh yeah, you know just totally falling not falling for it
[01:17:03] I get it. You know it's a good tactic but now that how you just fully just illustrate it and me
[01:17:08] Well, I should know this I do know this really that you do that but it's not a bad thing. No
[01:17:13] I'm not it's not you over. No, it's not perfect. Yeah. I'm not I'm actually I'm it's actually beneficial to you
[01:17:19] Yeah, you're actually actually are running things. Yeah, you know if I come in and say hey
[01:17:24] We're you know, hey, what do you think kind of table we should get for the podcast what you know
[01:17:29] I mean what do you think?
[01:17:30] We think would be the best
[01:17:32] lighting system you know like I know what I think that's the see that's the thing
[01:17:37] I don't really divulge is I know what I think yeah and you know what though which you're I know I understand
[01:17:44] But by the way the table thing
[01:17:46] That I tried we on that one
[01:17:48] Yeah, didn't work and I failed
[01:17:52] Actually I failed because I should have put much clearer parameters around the table scenario
[01:17:59] For those of you that don't know what we're talking about which is no one in the world except for us too
[01:18:02] If we had we got a different table for for our recording studio which is right at this moment being expanded
[01:18:10] And but when we were still in the small recording studio
[01:18:14] I figured why we needed a new table because the other one's too big no we're adding another camera
[01:18:18] Okay, we're adding another camera and possible guests so
[01:18:21] So hey man, you know call a crevatable and the one the table that I had gotten in the past
[01:18:27] Let's face it it was
[01:18:29] legit
[01:18:30] Echo goes and gets a table
[01:18:33] I don't know if that thing costs $48 but it wasn't worth it
[01:18:38] Was the wiggly and small and weak and anyways
[01:18:43] That's an example where I didn't do a good job and it's also an example of occasionally
[01:18:49] Your your vision is in the line like my vision normally you and I have very line vision about something
[01:18:56] You know well, so when it comes to the technical
[01:18:59] Nature of what the podcast the table we were not I want to bought that table
[01:19:08] Ever well, I wouldn't have bought that table for like a like a prop to be used in a one-scene
[01:19:15] scenario
[01:19:17] I don't know what that but well
[01:19:20] Okay, so I admit
[01:19:22] I don't know if I told you this but I'll admit that the thing is you probably when you got your table
[01:19:27] You probably went somewhere and it was like yeah, that's the table you felt it and was like yeah, I can imagine and you're
[01:19:32] I actually ordered it online, but okay, I'd say I have more even though I know you worked for a moving company
[01:19:40] nonetheless, I think I have more
[01:19:44] I'm more worldly when it comes to furniture
[01:19:48] You might be ready because there's something wrong. Well, I saw it on Amazon. I was like hey, that's a cool table
[01:19:52] And that that's that fits the dimension yeah, I want to came in it's the old
[01:19:58] Story, you know, it's like oh it looked good in the picture. You know kind of thing there when it shows up is like yeah
[01:20:04] You're good in the picture and it's only 30 nine radics
[01:20:07] She last the other table we had was a thousand bucks
[01:20:11] Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a thought it wasn't actually I actually put a minimum price
[01:20:16] Yeah, just to ensure the quality
[01:20:18] Some kind of quality
[01:20:20] Anyway, the point is yes
[01:20:25] When you give somebody you let it be their idea you keep your ideas to yourself
[01:20:29] I'm not trying to be all secretive but I'm not trying to be all secretive
[01:20:32] I'm not gonna tell this person because eventually my idea is if it needs to come out or comes out
[01:20:37] Hopefully it doesn't come out. Hopefully it never needs to come out because my team comes up with a great plan
[01:20:40] And I can just be quiet and they can go execute it. That's my goal. Yeah, occasionally
[01:20:45] They can't find a solution and it's like hey, man. Yeah, okay. Hey guys, and then maybe you know
[01:20:50] I'll do I won't even divulge my whole idea. I'll say he won't what about
[01:20:54] You know what about this?
[01:20:56] Like this oh yeah, that's not bad and man when you see someone get a good idea
[01:21:01] They get so happy. Yes, it's so rewarding yeah
[01:21:06] And so you want to give them that gift and the way you do that is by letting them come up with it
[01:21:10] And I think it's just gonna make sure that they have a world the experience with furniture
[01:21:14] It's stuff. Yeah, that's the situation. All right. Well, there you go and I dig it and because in a way it's not really even about the idea
[01:21:20] It's more about okay. We need a solution to this problem. I don't care what the you know
[01:21:24] The potential solution is kind of thing and yeah, you might have one in your head
[01:21:29] But you don't want to just start saying bro, it's just throwing it around as the one
[01:21:32] You know, it also yes, you're right also when you divulge your idea
[01:21:35] Guess what happens to everyone else's ideas especially when you're in a leadership position when you're in a leadership position and you divulge your idea
[01:21:40] Everyone kind of gravitates towards that idea as being the best if you keep your idea to yourself
[01:21:46] You let the true growth of ideas develop
[01:21:49] Yeah, true things come out when people aren't just trying to say like oh great idea
[01:21:53] Jocca. Oh yeah, even even if they're not like a kiss ass, but you just you just put an idea in their head and they can't see it a different way
[01:22:00] Yeah, you know and even if they do you put them in a position where now they have to shut down your idea
[01:22:06] Not a big deal, but it's doing that is element that you have to you know you got it kind of put them in as far as that position goes
[01:22:12] Yeah, rather than you you'll just kind of open up the floor. It's kind of like back in you know
[01:22:16] Who else something to say kind of kind of live atmosphere, you know, we all can you know
[01:22:22] Throw around ideas and the best one comes though. There you go. Thanks Brian. Oh man. I'll get a better table next time
[01:22:28] I promise next question
[01:22:30] As I get ready to graduate from college
[01:22:32] I would appreciate your input on the following question. I've always loved to take part in a variety of
[01:22:37] of projects and I have ended up in an leadership position in multiple organizations
[01:22:44] Be it in the student VC firm the student body my professional fraternity et cetera in a way
[01:22:50] This is this was natural to me. It's about extreme ownership, right? I love what I was doing
[01:22:55] You shouldn't just slough off that phrase. Oh
[01:22:58] It's like extreme owners right right yeah, that's how it should have been said. Okay, this is okay all this stuff is about extreme ownership, right?
[01:23:04] Can't be that hard right kind of kind of cool no thing of course
[01:23:07] We monitor should right okay. I loved what I was doing. I had a vision where to take things and I was chosen to lead
[01:23:13] So I felt that I was doing the right thing recently though
[01:23:16] I've started to feel overwhelmed and feel that my productivity has diminished
[01:23:21] By being in a manager opposition it seemed harder to see the direct output on my work
[01:23:25] But it's as easy it's as easy as always to see what's not working. I don't want to be like gov any projects because I'll still love to make love to take ownership of them
[01:23:35] He says I don't want to be like what says I don't want to let go of any projects because I still love to take ownership of them
[01:23:42] Oh, yes, yes, yes, okay love take on your going
[01:23:45] Yes, I'm identifying symptoms
[01:23:49] Yeah, you like the word ownership. That's like a like a
[01:23:51] Really I definitely like the word ownership and as you also know I also like another word that's that caught me
[01:23:57] Take out of the words you can see in violations here. All right. Well, either either way
[01:24:01] It's okay. He he doesn't want to let go of any projects because I still love to take ownership of them and lead these organizations
[01:24:09] But I think I'm no longer able to handle this much. How do you balance those things? Yeah, so there is a chapter in the dichotomy leadership called
[01:24:18] own it all
[01:24:20] But that's not the title of chapter. So the title of chapter continues
[01:24:24] It's the title of the chapter is own it all
[01:24:27] comma but
[01:24:29] Empower others
[01:24:31] And it sounds like this individual who's getting after it for sure props getting after it leadership position multiple organizations
[01:24:39] Going hard taking ownership
[01:24:41] Very cool, but it sounds like he needs to lean more towards decentralized command
[01:24:47] Because just because you take ownership of things doesn't mean you're supposed to do everything
[01:24:53] That you take ownership of it doesn't it doesn't actually doesn't work what this what you need
[01:24:58] Individual is you need
[01:25:01] Subordinate leaders
[01:25:02] Inside these multiple organizations that you're in charge of that you trust and you got to let them run with the broad guidance and the
[01:25:11] Mission the broad guidance of the mission and with your commanders intent
[01:25:15] That's how you're gonna work this so for instance when I was in charge of training on the West Coast
[01:25:21] I was responsible for a lot of stuff for land warfare for maritime operations
[01:25:27] Dive operations air operations close quarters combat urban warfare training mobility training heavy weapons defensive tactics combat leadership and
[01:25:36] Every other block
[01:25:38] Four guys that are getting ready to deploy to Iraq and Afghanistan
[01:25:41] Now on top of those tactical things. I'm in charge. I'm actually also in charge of safety and actually also in charge of maintenance and actually also in charge of the administration of the command
[01:25:54] That's a lot of stuff to be running right
[01:25:57] I know that homes is in charge of you know the VC firm and student body that's that stuff too
[01:26:03] This is a lot of stuff could I personally
[01:26:07] Manage and conduct all of those things that I was in charge of
[01:26:10] Not even close
[01:26:13] Not even close not you you talk about feeling overwhelmed you wouldn't last 15 minutes if you tried to
[01:26:20] Be the person that made every decision and all those different divisions that were inside of the training command
[01:26:27] So I couldn't
[01:26:29] Manage and run them all myself, but I had great leaders that I trusted that were going to make things happen and I gave them the broad guidance of
[01:26:41] What we were trying to do what their part of the mission was the parameters that they were allowed to work within and then go get some
[01:26:50] Then it's the same thing task you to commander task you to commander got two platoons
[01:26:53] Plus you got a squad of augmenties plus you got CBs and you got an intel fuse and sell you got interrogators and you got radio communications crew
[01:27:01] And you got the IT crew and you got you got the whole tactical operation center that you're running
[01:27:06] And it's the same thing I can't run all that no no human can run all that
[01:27:12] So what do you do you have support net leaders that
[01:27:15] Have the broad guidance they understand what the mission is they understand the commanders intent they go forward and get after it and
[01:27:21] They they know the parameters and sometimes they have issues and when they have issues you can step in and you get my hand
[01:27:27] Or sometimes they get all of our box you've got to put them back in the box
[01:27:32] But it's the same thing even right now
[01:27:36] I got echelon front I got the podcast. I got the the store got the supplements the parallel the online training coming out
[01:27:42] We got the T the real estate the gym we get the list goes on and I can't I can't run all those things
[01:27:48] But I got people leading those things and run on those things and I could do the same thing
[01:27:55] It's like hey here's the guy and sir's the mission here's the commanders intent
[01:27:57] Here's the sanity check on something here's the parameters we're trying to move within
[01:28:04] And then go go and get some so if you do well with decentralized command
[01:28:11] You can handle a lot now could you possibly bite off more than you can chew yeah you could get involved in
[01:28:19] so many things
[01:28:21] That you don't even have time to monitor the situations at all and you don't have time to tell when people are getting out of their zone
[01:28:28] Or out of the parameters that they're allowed to work with in or you don't have time to help when something goes sideways
[01:28:33] You don't have so you could get there and that will happen especially quickly if
[01:28:38] If you have failed to train and mentor and give directions and give guidance to the leaders that you have that are actually on the front lines run and things
[01:28:50] So
[01:28:52] That's part of it
[01:28:54] Now the other part of it is you can't do any of this
[01:28:58] If your ego will not allow you to let things go
[01:29:02] I mean you literally said I don't want to let go of any projects. I've said this before
[01:29:09] If you want to be in charge of everything you have to be in charge of nothing
[01:29:15] Your goal should be in charge of nothing only if you're in charge of nothing can you truly be in charge of everything
[01:29:21] Because when you're in charge of every single thing guess what you can handle nothing your task saturated it doesn't work
[01:29:29] So
[01:29:31] That's what you need to do get some good solid leaders subordinate leaders
[01:29:37] Empower them train them trust them make sure they understand where they're going make sure they understand what the mission is make sure they understand what the goals are
[01:29:47] Make sure they understand what things are outside the box that they need to come and talk to you about
[01:29:53] And then let them rock and roll boom
[01:30:05] My wife and I suffered three weeks of turmoil which including losing which included losing a child
[01:30:12] How do I expedite that moment when we pick up ourselves pick ourselves up and keep moving forward
[01:30:18] Because I'm done sulking and we need to move forward basically how to push through
[01:30:29] So
[01:30:33] I mean obviously that's part breaking and I
[01:30:36] Can't even imagine the pain that you are going through in this situation and so one of those things we've talked about this before the fact is
[01:30:49] We don't really have a cultural protocol for what to do
[01:30:56] when we lose a loved one and
[01:31:01] You have to
[01:31:03] Basically make up that protocol I
[01:31:08] Can't I
[01:31:10] Can't dictate what that protocol is going to be for you
[01:31:15] but I can
[01:31:18] Tell you some things from my perspective from some of the
[01:31:24] Things that I've been through I can tell you my perspective on
[01:31:29] On
[01:31:31] loss and the first thing is that you already know it's going to be
[01:31:38] Ratchet and
[01:31:41] You're not going to escape it and
[01:31:46] That pain and this is this is something that I've identified
[01:31:52] The pain that's going to come it's going to come in waves and
[01:31:57] And at first you won't even notice that there are waves because all the waves are going to be so close together
[01:32:05] And they're going to be so continual and they're going to be right on top of each other and the pain and the sadness is going to feel like it's so
[01:32:14] heavy
[01:32:15] It's going to feel like you are
[01:32:17] Drowning in sorrow like you're not going to get in any air and like you're not going to be able to escape that sadness
[01:32:24] That's what the waves feel like at first
[01:32:33] And then at some point there's going to be a little break just a little break just a little bit of light in the dark
[01:32:42] There's something is going to make you smile something is going to make you laugh
[01:32:47] Something's going to just show you just a little bit of light
[01:32:50] But I don't know when that's going to happen
[01:32:56] And then you're going to see that little smile that little light and then the another wave of pain
[01:33:03] Is going to come back again and it's going to be strong and you won't have any control over it
[01:33:09] You won't be able to say no no I'm I'm I'm in the right now or I'm smiling right now
[01:33:13] I'm not going to I'm not going to go back there no you're not going to be able to control it and that's scary
[01:33:16] It's scary because we we get used to as a dulltay we can kind of get control of things and all of a sudden you're not going to have control
[01:33:26] It's going to hit you and you're going to feel it
[01:33:31] But again like a wave like a wave in the ocean that is going to eventually subside again
[01:33:38] And you'll see a little bit of light and you'll get a little bit of a smile and you'll feel okay for second
[01:33:44] Then guess what another wave's going to hit you and
[01:33:48] My not be as strong as that other way wave and you might not even notice that it's not a strong
[01:33:54] But again, you can't control your emotions and you'll find yourself this is what I'm talking about factually
[01:34:01] You're going to be sitting there and
[01:34:04] All of a sudden
[01:34:05] You're going to be just crying uncontrollably
[01:34:07] That wave is going to hit you you're going to go from normal to just crying uncontrollably and being sad
[01:34:17] That's what's going to happen and again you're in your mind you're going to be thinking I can't control this
[01:34:21] It's a wave and you're you're at the mercy of this ocean of sorrow
[01:34:28] But don't let that scare you
[01:34:31] Don't let that scare you because I'm telling you that that wave is going to subside again
[01:34:36] And this is going to go on it's going to go on and the waves
[01:34:42] They will become weaker
[01:34:46] And what you need to realize is just because the waves are becoming weaker this doesn't mean
[01:34:52] That you love your child less or you miss them less or that you aren't
[01:34:57] Crushed at their passing it just means that you're starting to be able to deal with it
[01:35:03] Which is what you're supposed to do
[01:35:10] And as the waves get weaker
[01:35:13] Which they will they'll also appear less frequently
[01:35:19] And again that's okay
[01:35:21] It doesn't mean that you don't think of your child over the time it just means that it's being dealt with
[01:35:27] If
[01:35:32] And while this is happening
[01:35:36] While you when you can when you start to when the when the storm waves start to come a little bit
[01:35:47] What you can do is you can row the boat
[01:35:49] Carole the boat and what I mean by that is start doing something productive to get your mind
[01:35:57] Moving forward
[01:35:59] I don't know how long this is this is you know
[01:36:03] When you feel a little bit of a break
[01:36:08] Then let's do it a few days go by
[01:36:12] Five days go by three days go by
[01:36:14] At some point you can't cry anymore. Okay, let's do something productive. Let's
[01:36:22] Sort out the drawers in the bedroom. Let's back you. Let's finish a prod let's do something productive and
[01:36:30] if there's something
[01:36:34] That distracts you that's fine do it
[01:36:37] Let let let let there be some calm in the water and
[01:36:46] Also
[01:36:48] As the as the calm comes
[01:36:52] Also you're gonna find moments where it's like you can you can have things that are gonna bring on the waves
[01:37:01] And that's okay to
[01:37:02] Bring on the waves go look at the pictures right down the memories read the letters read the notes read the emails
[01:37:12] Remember
[01:37:16] And then there's that
[01:37:18] Standard service you're gonna do the memorial you're gonna do the burial
[01:37:26] And when that's over
[01:37:28] Let a little bit of more time go by
[01:37:34] Give yourself another week a
[01:37:37] Washington round a
[01:37:40] Feeling that sorrow of letting the waves
[01:37:45] Toss you around in the ocean
[01:37:51] But after another week what you do is you go and you write a letter you write a letter to your child
[01:37:56] And you explain to them
[01:38:03] Explain to them
[01:38:05] How much they meant to you?
[01:38:10] Explain to them how heartbroken you are that they are gone and then explain to them
[01:38:19] Why you are going to carry on?
[01:38:21] Why you are going to keep going with them in your heart?
[01:38:33] Explain to them
[01:38:36] Why you're not going to dwell in their loss
[01:38:45] And explain to them how in losing them you have learned without a shred of
[01:38:51] Doubt how truly precious life is
[01:38:56] And that they have taught you
[01:39:01] The immeasurable value of your own life and your wife's life and your family's life
[01:39:07] And explain to them that you know
[01:39:18] That you know that they loved you and that you know that they would want more than anything for you to be happy and productive and impactful in the world
[01:39:34] And explain in that letter what you will do to make them proud of how you live your life
[01:39:48] And then take that letter and go to their grave and read it to them and cry and kiss their soul
[01:40:18] And tell them that you will see them on the other side
[01:40:26] And then go live your life
[01:40:34] And those waves are still going to come and they're still going to be pain and they're still going to be sorrow
[01:40:40] But you go and live your life and live it well
[01:40:51] And make them proud
[01:40:55] And I think that's
[01:41:12] All I've got for tonight
[01:41:16] 그래
[01:41:22] So Echo
[01:41:28] Go ahead
[01:41:33] ys
[01:41:38] Something like that
[01:41:40] It doesn't always have to be like, you know, losing a child, they can be losing anyone, yeah.
[01:41:47] For sure.
[01:41:48] It's like, my wife had a, you know, she lost someone that she was close to whatever.
[01:41:55] So even if you're not in the, or if you're in a situation where someone's close to you, like, lost someone,
[01:42:01] it's good to keep like something like this in my knee, you know, that it's going to come and go, you know,
[01:42:05] because it's easy to be like, oh, yeah, like, oh, yeah, they're over it.
[01:42:10] And also it's kind of cool now.
[01:42:12] And then it comes back and you're like, wait, I thought you're over it kind of thing, like you can't.
[01:42:16] Yep, that's an unfortunate lesson I've learned is just that.
[01:42:22] Yeah.
[01:42:23] And you think it's a really great description of what it feels like.
[01:42:29] It feels like waves.
[01:42:30] If you serve for you, been in the ocean.
[01:42:32] And, and we've been getting hit by waves and like there's nothing you can do.
[01:42:36] And that way, if it's you, you're going to do it that way once you do, for a little while.
[01:42:40] Yeah.
[01:42:41] And sometimes when it's bad, like you're going to get hit with a wave wave wave, you can barely even tell.
[01:42:45] You come up for a breath, you're getting hit again.
[01:42:47] Yeah.
[01:42:48] And that's what it feels like.
[01:42:49] Yeah.
[01:42:50] It feels like it.
[01:42:51] And the other weird thing is you can be, you can go from one extreme emotion to another in a minute.
[01:42:58] You can be laughing and that laughter can trigger thoughts that make you sad.
[01:43:04] And you could hit with a wave.
[01:43:06] And one thing, and I think this is important is that.
[01:43:12] You know, you know what I've talked about, like the person that's in a turmoil in their heads in a cloud of like a storm cloud.
[01:43:18] And no matter where they look, they just can't see.
[01:43:21] They don't see that there's a way out.
[01:43:23] And anyone that's standing on the outside can see like, no, come on.
[01:43:26] Just walk over here, just get away from that storm cloud.
[01:43:29] You can do it.
[01:43:30] But when they're standing in the middle, they don't even know which way to walk.
[01:43:32] So they just stand there and they just sit in the storm cloud and they think that they're never going to get out.
[01:43:37] And it's the initial feeling after loss is like, oh, this isn't going to go away.
[01:43:44] And what I'm telling you is it's going to.
[01:43:47] And there's a certain level of guilt of like, way to second, how can I be not thinking about?
[01:43:53] I just didn't think about, you know, this person for five minutes.
[01:43:56] I'm horrible.
[01:43:58] It's like, no, you have to process this.
[01:44:01] Yeah.
[01:44:02] And no one wants you to dwell on this.
[01:44:05] No one.
[01:44:06] They never want you to forget, but they don't want you to dwell as well.
[01:44:09] There's a dichotomy in that.
[01:44:12] And that's why, you know, obviously it's heartbreaking to get that note.
[01:44:18] But hopefully, you know, that recognition that those waves are going to subside eventually.
[01:44:27] They're still going to get hit with some of them.
[01:44:30] But they are in it's okay that you're going to be there.
[01:44:38] Yeah.
[01:44:39] Yeah.
[01:44:41] Ugh.
[01:44:42] Ruff.
[01:44:43] Yeah.
[01:44:44] Yeah.
[01:44:45] But you know, when I wrote, Mikey in the Dragons, I have the, you know, the king dice, right?
[01:44:56] The king, you don't know him, but the king is dead.
[01:45:00] And there's certain people, you know, I figured if I actually thought to myself, like, well,
[01:45:05] do I really want to talk about death?
[01:45:07] And there's also there's a couple lines with a dragon to want to kill you.
[01:45:10] You know, the dragons want to kill, right?
[01:45:12] There's a couple times for asking, well, do I, you know, this is a kids book.
[01:45:14] But here's the deal.
[01:45:16] There's little kids that's parents dies, that grand parents die.
[01:45:20] I mean, those, the death is a real death is a 100% part of life.
[01:45:25] And you got to learn, you got to learn how to deal with that.
[01:45:28] Yeah.
[01:45:29] Or else it's going to be, you know, that, you, and I'm not saying you got to dive into it with a little kid.
[01:45:34] Right.
[01:45:35] But you have to at least, they have to hear the word.
[01:45:37] They have to understand that that's a reality.
[01:45:39] Yeah.
[01:45:40] So.
[01:45:41] Yeah.
[01:45:42] Oh, that's it.
[01:45:44] My, I had this video.
[01:45:46] He was like, deusere the day before that my wife took my son here.
[01:45:49] A dragon costume on.
[01:45:51] He's two.
[01:45:52] By the way.
[01:45:53] And he's like, oh, I'm going to go kill daddy.
[01:45:56] I was like, whoa, kill, like, where did you even kind of,
[01:45:59] and it's, the reason I bring that out because it dragons that are ready to kill, right?
[01:46:04] Yeah.
[01:46:05] That's from the one.
[01:46:06] Mike isn't, Mike, in the dragon.
[01:46:08] Because that's kind of how you feel, you know, even though you don't know, as a kid,
[01:46:11] however old, whatever, you don't know what the magnitude of that is.
[01:46:16] But you know, you know, like, what do you scared of, whatever the unknown,
[01:46:19] sure you're, but you're scared of the monster in the closet,
[01:46:22] or you scared of him not because he's going to bore you to death with bad jokes.
[01:46:26] He's like, he's going to kill you.
[01:46:27] That's what you're scared of, you know, kind of thing as even if you're six years old, kind of thing.
[01:46:32] So yeah, I mean, make sense for sure.
[01:46:34] And, and even think about what you kill a bug, right?
[01:46:39] Yeah, like a little kid, the kill a bug, they're eating a chicken.
[01:46:43] That chicken was alive, and now it's dead, you're eating it, right?
[01:46:46] The death is a real thing.
[01:46:48] And you have to, you have to deal with it, you know?
[01:46:52] And like I said, we don't have a great protocol.
[01:46:55] And I know we talked, we joked about making a protocol for breaking up with a girlfriend.
[01:46:59] Yeah, a little bit more light-hearted for sure, but it's something.
[01:47:02] But I'll tell you what, hey, you talk about light-hearted breaking up with a girlfriend,
[01:47:08] think about the tragic situations you've seen unfold from somebody breaking up with their girlfriend or breaking up with their boyfriend.
[01:47:16] Yeah.
[01:47:17] It's horrible.
[01:47:19] And there should be a protocol.
[01:47:21] And there should be a protocol for any loss to loved one.
[01:47:24] Here's the protocol.
[01:47:25] Here's what I'm going to do.
[01:47:26] And you know what, part of that protocol should be, you write a letter to that person and you explain what I just said.
[01:47:31] That is a real,
[01:47:35] that that will clear a lot out of you.
[01:47:39] It will bring you in touch with that person again.
[01:47:42] It'll give you permission from them to go and do it.
[01:47:47] You're supposed to do you have to.
[01:47:49] They want that.
[01:47:51] You know what they want that.
[01:47:53] Yeah, because it kind of feels like, hey, I'm going to go, I don't know.
[01:47:58] I'm going to go back to school or something like that.
[01:48:01] It's kind of like, whoa, how can you think about going back to school when you're,
[01:48:04] when this just happened kind of thing.
[01:48:07] That's what you feel like, you know, but yeah, on the other side is kind of like, no, yeah, that's what they would want you to do kind of thing.
[01:48:16] It doesn't feel like that.
[01:48:17] But when you kind of step back and be like, wait, it does kind of feel like that.
[01:48:20] You know, if you can see, just see fit to see it that way.
[01:48:24] Rough, well, to those out there,
[01:48:28] hey, stay strong, you know, live your life.
[01:48:34] Cool. Well, talk about origin, you know, it is a rough transition.
[01:48:39] They're with me.
[01:48:40] Well, we're talking about living and living well.
[01:48:42] Sure.
[01:48:43] We want to live well.
[01:48:44] Yeah.
[01:48:45] We want to move forward.
[01:48:46] Yeah.
[01:48:47] Yeah.
[01:48:49] So, is due to your two-party your life?
[01:48:52] That's a question.
[01:48:53] There's no way.
[01:48:54] There's no good way to do that.
[01:48:56] Oh, yeah. I know. I have the same hate. Okay.
[01:48:58] Look, origin, look, origin main.com.
[01:49:00] This is where you get your gear.
[01:49:01] If you still need a gear, or if you want a new gear, go ahead and get it from origin.
[01:49:05] It's the best.
[01:49:06] They are the best. And they're made in America.
[01:49:08] They're not necessarily the best because they're made in America.
[01:49:10] They're going for adventure.
[01:49:11] They're great.
[01:49:12] No, I'm telling.
[01:49:13] I'm reminding myself why I really like origin geese because they're just busted one out the other day.
[01:49:18] No, I was thinking you're really going for it.
[01:49:20] You're like, okay.
[01:49:22] When I was thinking as you were doing that, I was like,
[01:49:24] hey, I'm sitting here telling people like, hey,
[01:49:26] sometimes you've got to move on.
[01:49:28] And we were literally having our time moving on.
[01:49:31] And until I was just simply talking about this,
[01:49:34] talking about little loss or a loved one,
[01:49:37] and you're just like, okay, we're going to move on.
[01:49:39] Well, and you just laughed.
[01:49:42] No, no, no, no.
[01:49:43] I'm saying that in a positive way.
[01:49:45] Like you got to.
[01:49:46] Yeah.
[01:49:47] Well, this situation, you know,
[01:49:50] you got me talking about GG2.
[01:49:52] Yeah, I'm just trained yesterday.
[01:49:54] So it's like, you know, you can't even feel good about that one.
[01:49:57] It's true.
[01:49:58] Yes.
[01:49:59] Which is what you just do does by the way.
[01:50:01] Yeah.
[01:50:02] And that's another thing.
[01:50:04] It's like, you got to move on.
[01:50:07] You got it.
[01:50:08] You're going to go through rough transition.
[01:50:10] But like you said, you got to look at your kid and be like, okay.
[01:50:12] We, you got to go back to school.
[01:50:14] But what about, you know, what about my sister,
[01:50:17] what about my brother, what about grandma, whatever, whoever died.
[01:50:20] Yeah.
[01:50:21] That's part of life is death.
[01:50:24] And we got to move on.
[01:50:25] We're going to go.
[01:50:26] Yeah.
[01:50:27] And then they're going to reference echo Charles transition,
[01:50:30] a rough transition to talking about GG2.
[01:50:34] GG2.
[01:50:35] Yeah.
[01:50:36] All right.
[01:50:37] But you see this?
[01:50:38] I'm smiling.
[01:50:39] So you know what I mean?
[01:50:40] Yeah.
[01:50:41] It's a positive thing.
[01:50:41] Yes.
[01:50:42] You're bringing me out.
[01:50:43] That the reason we started doing the, the, the, the long extended support
[01:50:48] was to kind of decompress.
[01:50:50] I remember there was some, the, the first time I think he might have been a podcast number 12.
[01:50:55] No, no, wasn't it.
[01:50:57] I don't know what podcast it was where I was like, I need to break.
[01:51:01] Oh, yeah.
[01:51:02] I just need to, like, you need to talk for a little while.
[01:51:04] Yeah.
[01:51:05] It's a stupid, light hearted.
[01:51:07] Thanks for, yeah.
[01:51:08] No, that's, that's a compliment.
[01:51:10] No, it's not a compliment.
[01:51:12] Especially not at the time.
[01:51:13] Talk, something.
[01:51:14] But that was the reason.
[01:51:16] Yeah.
[01:51:17] There's no way to rough.
[01:51:18] How do you transition?
[01:51:19] And the other thing you don't want to do is just,
[01:51:22] close on that note, turn off and leave.
[01:51:25] Yeah, that's not cool.
[01:51:27] Yeah.
[01:51:27] So there's, there's plenty of people that say, thank you.
[01:51:30] Yeah.
[01:51:31] For,
[01:51:32] going through the transition and then doing something a little more lighthearted
[01:51:37] at the end of the podcast.
[01:51:39] Yeah.
[01:51:40] So,
[01:51:41] Makes sense.
[01:51:42] I, I support that.
[01:51:44] And we carry on with the tradition.
[01:51:46] The tradition.
[01:51:47] All right.
[01:51:48] Rough transition.
[01:51:49] I'm on board.
[01:51:50] Cool.
[01:51:52] So back to GG2.
[01:51:53] Makes sense.
[01:51:54] So good.
[01:51:55] Good.
[01:51:56] Solid.
[01:51:56] You know, train yesterday.
[01:51:57] Thought about origin the whole time.
[01:52:00] Mm-hmm.
[01:52:01] Got after it.
[01:52:02] Then the last year when you get,
[01:52:04] G or a rash cart go to origin.me.com.
[01:52:06] They got some other cool stuff on there as well.
[01:52:08] joggers.
[01:52:09] If you're into it.
[01:52:10] T-shirts.
[01:52:11] If you're into it.
[01:52:12] Supplements.
[01:52:13] Mm-hmm.
[01:52:14] Yeah.
[01:52:15] That you need to get into.
[01:52:16] And this is why.
[01:52:18] So,
[01:52:19] Crill oil.
[01:52:20] Okay.
[01:52:20] Joints.
[01:52:21] Crill oil.
[01:52:22] Super.
[01:52:22] Crill.
[01:52:23] This is what it's called.
[01:52:24] Joint warfare.
[01:52:25] Discipline.
[01:52:27] Mm-hmm.
[01:52:28] Discipline.
[01:52:29] Discipline.
[01:52:30] Go.
[01:52:31] Moved.
[01:52:32] All right.
[01:52:33] Discipline.
[01:52:35] I'll tell you two minutes.
[01:52:36] No.
[01:52:37] I'll tell you thirty seconds.
[01:52:38] Discipline.
[01:52:39] Cognitive.
[01:52:40] And physical.
[01:52:41] And hands are drink.
[01:52:43] Right?
[01:52:44] I really like it.
[01:52:45] I like the way it makes me feel.
[01:52:47] I, for living.
[01:52:50] One of my jobs is to talk to companies and talk about leadership and getting the game and do podcast.
[01:52:55] I'm going to get, you know, mentally in the game.
[01:52:58] Yes.
[01:52:59] But going on, talking to a company where I'm going to be up, you know, on stage for two hours.
[01:53:04] Mm-hmm.
[01:53:05] If I'm pounding some drink beforehand,
[01:53:08] Guess what's going to happen, you know,
[01:53:10] 48 minutes in.
[01:53:11] I got to use the restroom.
[01:53:12] I don't like use the restroom.
[01:53:13] That's a sign of weakness.
[01:53:14] Yeah.
[01:53:15] Yeah.
[01:53:16] So I talked to Pete Brian.
[01:53:17] I was like, hey, we need to take what's in discipline and put it in a pill.
[01:53:21] So I could just eat it and don't have to use the restroom.
[01:53:25] 48 minutes after I start talking to a company.
[01:53:27] That's where discipline go came from.
[01:53:29] And it's awesome.
[01:53:30] Yeah.
[01:53:31] So.
[01:53:32] And not to mention, you don't got to do the whole, which I don't mind by the way.
[01:53:34] I do like the ritual, but the whole thing.
[01:53:36] So you got to put in the water and the mix and the whatever, you know, that stuff.
[01:53:39] You just, if you're on the go.
[01:53:41] There you go.
[01:53:42] That's why the discipline go.
[01:53:43] And we actually speaking of mixing, we are going to, we have a, we have discipline in a can coming out.
[01:53:50] Yeah.
[01:53:51] Which you won't have to mix.
[01:53:53] You'll just crack it open.
[01:53:55] Crack it open.
[01:53:56] That's good.
[01:53:57] Kind of.
[01:53:58] And then, Mark, of course, if you need additional protein, this way to get it.
[01:54:01] Best way to get it.
[01:54:03] Most pleasurable.
[01:54:04] The most delicious way to get it.
[01:54:06] Delicious way to get it in chocolate.
[01:54:09] I think a rib eye is an equally delicious.
[01:54:12] Although it's different because I'm telling you, this, this makes me mad when I'm on the road.
[01:54:16] And I go get a nice rib eye and I'm totally happy, but I'm not.
[01:54:20] I'm not totally happy.
[01:54:22] I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm 96% happy.
[01:54:24] But I want something.
[01:54:25] I want a little, I want a little, a little, a little, a little.
[01:54:28] Yeah.
[01:54:29] You don't just try to close the deal on my palate.
[01:54:32] And I want something tasty.
[01:54:35] Yeah.
[01:54:36] What do they call it?
[01:54:37] Savory.
[01:54:38] My wife's favorite.
[01:54:39] That's like salty, right?
[01:54:40] What's, like, some sweet this sweet.
[01:54:42] Yeah.
[01:54:42] I have the savory rib eye.
[01:54:44] And then I want to close the deal with a little bit of,
[01:54:46] shhh.
[01:54:47] Great.
[01:54:48] Little bit of the mouth.
[01:54:49] But don't, well, if you were like, hey, I want some additional protein.
[01:54:53] You don't go rib eye because rib eye you get additional protein additional whatever else nutrients in them.
[01:54:58] Which is cool.
[01:54:59] But if you just want additional protein, more isolated.
[01:55:03] Yeah.
[01:55:04] Boom, get the milk.
[01:55:05] Plus the sweet pleasure for the palate.
[01:55:08] And if you just kids, and it's hot, look, we got a problem in America.
[01:55:13] I'll just throw it out there.
[01:55:14] We got kids that are just not eaten correct.
[01:55:16] They're out of shape.
[01:55:18] Yeah.
[01:55:18] So what do you do?
[01:55:20] Well, what do you want to get them something that tastes good to eat?
[01:55:23] What do tastes good to eat?
[01:55:24] Candy bars?
[01:55:25] Yeah.
[01:55:26] What else tastes good to eat?
[01:55:27] Ice cream?
[01:55:28] What else tastes good to eat?
[01:55:29] Cheetos?
[01:55:30] Yeah.
[01:55:31] Guess what?
[01:55:32] Those are all bad for you.
[01:55:33] Good guess what else tastes good to eat?
[01:55:35] What are your kid, mole?
[01:55:37] Yeah.
[01:55:38] Where you're good, mole?
[01:55:39] To drink, would you say eat?
[01:55:42] Drink.
[01:55:43] Yeah, it's to drink, but I mean, if you mix it thick, you got your stuff a little bit.
[01:55:47] Jumping on that.
[01:55:48] You put some basically food.
[01:55:49] It's coconut shards in there.
[01:55:51] Yeah.
[01:55:52] Ice cream.
[01:55:53] You didn't think what that would be like that one.
[01:55:55] Coconut shards.
[01:55:56] There you go.
[01:55:57] Where you're kid, mole.
[01:55:58] Also at originamin.com.
[01:56:00] That's all this stuff.
[01:56:01] All this stuff.
[01:56:02] But we do have a store.
[01:56:04] We have a store.
[01:56:08] Jocco store.com.
[01:56:09] If you want to represent the path, where some shirts more indicative directly to the path.
[01:56:17] Jocco store.com.
[01:56:18] Get after it.
[01:56:19] This one equals freedom.
[01:56:20] I was at 24th fitness.
[01:56:21] I go there to live sometimes.
[01:56:23] Maybe once twice a week.
[01:56:25] Trainer there in the game.
[01:56:27] Happens being the game.
[01:56:28] Yep.
[01:56:29] Found out his name's Justin.
[01:56:30] By the way, a firefighter up in San Bernardino.
[01:56:32] There he is.
[01:56:34] Lift up his trainer shirt.
[01:56:36] He lifts it up.
[01:56:37] Get after it.
[01:56:38] Push it down.
[01:56:39] Rashcar.
[01:56:40] Good evening.
[01:56:41] Oh, the shirt.
[01:56:42] Yeah.
[01:56:43] There's sometimes people want to represent in a more
[01:56:49] Shacover.
[01:56:50] Cover.
[01:56:51] Yeah.
[01:56:52] Or he.
[01:56:53] I mean, no, no, what I'm saying is.
[01:56:55] Defcore.
[01:56:57] Oh, yeah.
[01:56:58] If you want to see a sub.
[01:57:01] A subtle way.
[01:57:03] Mm-hmm.
[01:57:04] This shirt that I'm wearing right now.
[01:57:06] Can only be be.
[01:57:08] Can only be.
[01:57:09] PID.
[01:57:10] Positively identified.
[01:57:12] By someone that's completely in the game.
[01:57:14] Yeah, that's true.
[01:57:15] Yes.
[01:57:16] Yeah.
[01:57:17] Andrew.
[01:57:18] Yeah.
[01:57:19] As you wear it, you're like,
[01:57:20] Mm-hmm.
[01:57:21] I'm the reason.
[01:57:22] Yeah, it's a good reason.
[01:57:23] I got the reason to tell anyway.
[01:57:24] What's up?
[01:57:25] I know what's up.
[01:57:26] Yeah.
[01:57:27] Defcore.
[01:57:28] Check.
[01:57:29] Plus truckers hats.
[01:57:32] Or the other kind of hats.
[01:57:34] Flex fit.
[01:57:35] Go.
[01:57:36] Flex fit.
[01:57:37] Yeah.
[01:57:38] Equal.
[01:57:39] Don't discriminate against the Flex fit.
[01:57:40] They're equal.
[01:57:41] Also hoodies.
[01:57:42] Some beanies on there.
[01:57:43] Some women stuff on there.
[01:57:44] It's really good.
[01:57:45] Yeah.
[01:57:46] If you want to represent, talk with story.com.
[01:57:47] Some good stuff on there.
[01:57:48] Also, juggle like tea.
[01:57:50] Yeah.
[01:57:51] Just having some.
[01:57:53] Yeah.
[01:57:54] In the can, preferred by me.
[01:57:56] But if you like to seep.
[01:57:57] It's a steeper steeper steeper steep.
[01:57:59] And now I like steep steep.
[01:58:00] Yeah.
[01:58:01] We're sure about that.
[01:58:02] Yes.
[01:58:03] Is steeper word.
[01:58:04] Seating.
[01:58:05] Like something's being saved out of the leaking.
[01:58:07] Yeah.
[01:58:08] Yeah.
[01:58:09] So we're not leaking.
[01:58:10] Steeping.
[01:58:11] Yeah.
[01:58:12] Steep.
[01:58:13] Yeah.
[01:58:14] Multiple meanings.
[01:58:15] Same.
[01:58:16] And we're.
[01:58:17] Nonetheless, if you like to steep the.
[01:58:18] What do you go up the dry, the bags?
[01:58:20] I don't know the terminology.
[01:58:22] But it's good.
[01:58:23] Tea bag.
[01:58:24] Yeah.
[01:58:25] In the deal.
[01:58:26] Yeah.
[01:58:26] Anyway, and you did a 5000 pounds.
[01:58:28] Yeah.
[01:58:29] This true.
[01:58:30] I know I just added that as like a little.
[01:58:31] Dang.
[01:58:32] But it's a big deal.
[01:58:33] Also, subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already.
[01:58:36] On iTunes and Stitcher and Google Play and wherever you listen to.
[01:58:39] Podcast.
[01:58:40] There's a lot.
[01:58:41] Mm.
[01:58:42] About options.
[01:58:43] Yeah.
[01:58:44] People will email me.
[01:58:45] I don't know how they give me email.
[01:58:46] They're new podcast.
[01:58:47] Yeah.
[01:58:48] Say hey, put your podcast on our app.
[01:58:50] Doesn't that happen automatically?
[01:58:51] Some.
[01:58:52] Yeah.
[01:58:53] Some.
[01:58:54] Apparently.
[01:58:55] Because they're asking me to do it.
[01:58:57] And don't forget about the warrior kid podcast of which we just released a couple more.
[01:59:02] Just 20 and 21 alive,
[01:59:05] Mm.
[01:59:05] Here.
[01:59:06] Some questions for Uncle Jake.
[01:59:07] And there's some stories from Uncle Jake,
[01:59:10] him explaining how he got his.
[01:59:13] Of use in life through stories.
[01:59:16] Also got YouTube.
[01:59:17] Don't forget about YouTube.
[01:59:20] You tube is where you can see this video of this podcast and then you can see cool videos
[01:59:28] from echo Charles that he makes on his computer thing.
[01:59:34] And you can check his style and give him feedback if he went too far.
[01:59:40] I think there's some videos that violate good taste.
[01:59:47] There's only one really. It is Christmas.
[01:59:51] Christmas is coming out.
[01:59:53] I'm going to repost it.
[01:59:56] I'm going to remind everyone that he's still alive.
[01:59:59] Oh, it's life.
[02:00:00] In fact, people have been contacting me.
[02:00:03] Say they appreciate it.
[02:00:04] Where's that war path?
[02:00:05] Is it called a war path?
[02:00:07] No Christmas videos called the war path.
[02:00:10] You need to introduce them.
[02:00:11] What's the other one called revised?
[02:00:12] Because it made a good one.
[02:00:15] The one without Christmas.
[02:00:18] Music and slight variation.
[02:00:20] Anyway, thanks, bro.
[02:00:22] For saying that.
[02:00:25] Nonetheless.
[02:00:26] That song is right up there with your podcast table.
[02:00:29] I know it.
[02:00:34] Just saying.
[02:00:35] Just saying.
[02:00:36] I think there's psychological warfare which is an album with tracks and it will kind
[02:00:38] of help you get through some more rough moments of weakness.
[02:00:42] More than kind of.
[02:00:43] Help you a lot. 100% proven by echo.
[02:00:45] Who's has some moments of weakness?
[02:00:47] I have moments of weakness for sure.
[02:00:48] The other comes.
[02:00:49] Yes, especially with the stuff you're talking about.
[02:00:51] I mean, not so much with the eating doughnuts thing, but like waking up or getting
[02:00:57] up.
[02:00:58] Like, you know, that's a deep history.
[02:01:02] If I don't have to wake up for something specific, like, you know, you'll be like,
[02:01:05] hey, I got to get up because I got it.
[02:01:07] I can't even remember what it's like to have my wise open up in the more
[02:01:13] morning and not feel the fire.
[02:01:16] I'm just like, not I'm not talking.
[02:01:18] I'm not talking like, I'm not trying to say I wake up in the morning.
[02:01:21] I have this internal fire.
[02:01:23] I'm talking about the heat from external sources of.
[02:01:26] Dang, I got to do.
[02:01:28] Right.
[02:01:29] Yeah.
[02:01:30] So I'm going to you the connoisseur of comfort echo.
[02:01:35] Yes.
[02:01:36] Often wake up and say, hmm.
[02:01:38] Yeah.
[02:01:39] So you know, all's good.
[02:01:42] You're going to go off.
[02:01:43] No, ho, ho.
[02:01:44] Well, thanks for helping me.
[02:01:47] How about that and skipping workouts too.
[02:01:49] Thanks for helping me with that.
[02:01:50] Not skipping, post-pony.
[02:01:52] That's the problem.
[02:01:53] Post-pony workouts.
[02:01:54] That's the same thing.
[02:01:55] Keep it a workout.
[02:01:56] No, that's a psycho thing.
[02:01:57] I'm just going to, I'm just going to not do it.
[02:01:59] If you don't do a workout, it doesn't get postponed.
[02:02:01] It just got skipped.
[02:02:02] No, but no, well, yeah, no, it does get postponed.
[02:02:05] Cause look, if I'm going to do it, it's the experiment.
[02:02:07] This is what, you know, if I'm going to do that, you know, and I'm going to run.
[02:02:09] There's an happening.
[02:02:10] Okay.
[02:02:11] No.
[02:02:12] Okay, then you lost it.
[02:02:13] Yeah, I'm going to get it back.
[02:02:14] Okay, I get it.
[02:02:15] Actually, you're right.
[02:02:16] Cause look, my workout goes day one, day two, day three, day four, day five.
[02:02:19] Like in days, it's by day is what I'm saying.
[02:02:22] So if I skip, we're going to make a book of your workout.
[02:02:24] How's that?
[02:02:25] Yeah.
[02:02:26] I have, I have, I made it long time ago.
[02:02:28] I used to get into my name as the book is going to be out.
[02:02:32] Get chacked with seven A's in the jacked.
[02:02:37] All right.
[02:02:38] Who's not going to buy that?
[02:02:39] Oh, jacked by those girls.
[02:02:41] Nobody, everybody's going to buy it.
[02:02:43] Apparently, it's nonetheless kettle bell curls.
[02:02:46] Back to a barbell curls.
[02:02:48] Sam Bag Curl.
[02:02:49] It's you do day two on day three, you skip day two.
[02:02:52] You went to day three just because you reformulated the movements on day three.
[02:02:55] It doesn't, doesn't negate the fact that you skipped it.
[02:02:58] No skipping workout.
[02:02:59] No skipping workout.
[02:03:00] You won't do it anymore.
[02:03:01] Psychological warfare.
[02:03:02] Also, speaking of workouts, improve.
[02:03:04] Very up your workout with on it stuff.
[02:03:07] Get on it.com slash juck.
[02:03:09] Get the kettlebell.
[02:03:10] So it was on the yes day for yesterday.
[02:03:12] No, yes, you got some socks and some other cool items.
[02:03:16] I need a rope though.
[02:03:18] Get one.
[02:03:19] And if you're getting things, get a book called Mikey the Dragons.
[02:03:24] How's it being reviewed in your fam?
[02:03:27] Reviewed?
[02:03:28] Yeah, I mean, what's this?
[02:03:29] Oh, like is it good?
[02:03:31] Yeah.
[02:03:32] Well, my daughter uses lines from my kid in the dream.
[02:03:36] Jamie just sent me a video of her daughter getting ready to go get a shot.
[02:03:42] So that yeah, I watched that video with my daughter too.
[02:03:45] She can be both enjoyed.
[02:03:46] Yeah, talking about.
[02:03:47] She's gonna be brave.
[02:03:48] Yeah, yeah.
[02:03:49] Actually, she says I'm gonna be pretty brave.
[02:03:51] I don't know.
[02:03:52] She's pretty.
[02:03:53] She goes, oh, scared.
[02:03:54] Last but not.
[02:03:55] But this time I'm gonna be brave.
[02:03:57] Pretty much.
[02:03:58] But she's there.
[02:04:01] I mean, this is story about how I feel how old she is.
[02:04:03] But she's talking about Mikey in the dragon.
[02:04:04] You can understand this. You can understand that how you can overcome your fears.
[02:04:08] Mikey in the Dragons.
[02:04:09] Sorry, it was out of stock.
[02:04:10] But we in stock now, boy, we got plenty of stock.
[02:04:14] So order one for you order one for be like Sarah in order 10.
[02:04:18] Be like Andrew Paul in order 20.
[02:04:21] Oh, you.
[02:04:22] Yeah, I think it was Sarah was making fun of my math.
[02:04:27] The jockel math is like, oh, Andrew's gonna order one.
[02:04:29] Sarah's gonna order one.
[02:04:30] Echo order one.
[02:04:31] When it's really like, oh, Sarah's gonna order 10.
[02:04:33] You wonder why we went out of stock.
[02:04:36] Anyways, we are fully in stock now.
[02:04:38] We will not be out of stock again.
[02:04:41] So Mikey in the Dragons get some and weigh the warrior kid.
[02:04:46] Both weigh the warrior kid one and two.
[02:04:48] Number two is called Mark Smithian.
[02:04:50] Number three is coming out in the spring.
[02:04:52] I will get it up for pre-order.
[02:04:55] And believe me, I understand now why we pre-order books.
[02:04:58] Yeah.
[02:04:59] I kind of made that mistake with Mikey in the Dragons.
[02:05:02] You will all please pre-order when I put it up so that I know how many I'm gonna print
[02:05:06] or at least a decent estimate.
[02:05:08] And I'll take Sarah's order and multiply it times 10.
[02:05:12] I'll set aside 10 for her in 20 for Andrew Paul and everybody else at ordered stacks of those
[02:05:18] books.
[02:05:19] So appreciate it.
[02:05:20] Despernacles freedom field manual.
[02:05:22] How to get after it.
[02:05:23] Yeah.
[02:05:24] New years.
[02:05:25] Everyone's on their big rev.
[02:05:27] Was it resolutions?
[02:05:28] Revolution?
[02:05:29] Revolution?
[02:05:30] Both.
[02:05:31] Revolution?
[02:05:32] Sure.
[02:05:33] Yeah.
[02:05:34] Post the discipline.
[02:05:35] Because you can't just say, well tomorrow I'm gonna, you know, on January 1st, I'm
[02:05:38] gonna change of no.
[02:05:39] Yeah.
[02:05:40] Today, yeah, between no and then I'm gonna keep slacking and whatever.
[02:05:43] That's kind of what you're saying.
[02:05:45] That is what you're saying.
[02:05:46] That is what you're saying.
[02:05:47] I'm way of slacking too.
[02:05:48] Yeah.
[02:05:49] You can just get in the game right now.
[02:05:50] Extreme ownership.
[02:05:51] Obviously, reverence that a bunch today and get the dichotomy of leadership so that
[02:05:56] you don't just get one perspective and forget about the dichotomy you need the dichotomy
[02:06:03] in your world as a leader.
[02:06:06] Ashland front.
[02:06:07] That's my leadership consultancy.
[02:06:09] We saw problems through leadership.
[02:06:11] We will come into your company, assess and align your team so that they dominate.
[02:06:18] Go to echelonfront.com for details.
[02:06:20] Yes.
[02:06:21] Also the master.
[02:06:22] Hmm.
[02:06:23] 2019.
[02:06:24] I will say.
[02:06:26] 10th of October and Sidney, Australia.
[02:06:31] Juck will be at all of them.
[02:06:32] Yeah.
[02:06:33] I will.
[02:06:34] I will be live and I will be getting it.
[02:06:36] They've also told out.
[02:06:37] So if you think it well, you know, I'll just, I'm waiting to see.
[02:06:40] Yeah.
[02:06:41] Don't get sick.
[02:06:42] Didn't look up.
[02:06:44] We are doing a podcast live.
[02:06:48] Live podcast.
[02:06:49] In New York City.
[02:06:51] January 9th.
[02:06:52] I will post the tickets as soon as they're available.
[02:06:56] If you haven't seen them yet, check my social media platforms.
[02:07:02] It's to get insta-
[02:07:05] Twitter, Twitter.
[02:07:07] Please, people.
[02:07:08] Wow.
[02:07:09] So you set that data side.
[02:07:11] It's a Wednesday night.
[02:07:13] It's a New York City.
[02:07:14] It's in a nice cinema.
[02:07:16] A nice theater theater.
[02:07:18] We'll look.
[02:07:19] It has the red velvet seats.
[02:07:21] Right?
[02:07:22] They'll indicate if they're.
[02:07:23] They also sometimes people say they're like, did you ever think you'd be a children's
[02:07:26] author?
[02:07:27] Or they'll say like, hey, did you ever think you'd be, you know, speaking to groups?
[02:07:31] And I'm always like, whatever.
[02:07:33] I don't know.
[02:07:34] I'm like, maybe they're like writing.
[02:07:37] But if they said, hey, would you ever think you're going to be speaking in a symphony
[02:07:41] hall with red velvet seats?
[02:07:43] I'd say you're excited.
[02:07:44] I'm excited.
[02:07:45] I'm excited.
[02:07:46] But I am.
[02:07:47] And so were you?
[02:07:48] There you go.
[02:07:49] Whether you like it or not.
[02:07:50] So there's that.
[02:07:51] Want the new EF online.
[02:07:54] EF online.
[02:07:55] So I guess I have to explain a little bit.
[02:07:58] We have the master.
[02:08:00] We have the echelon front where we go and work with companies.
[02:08:05] At the master, you travel and you go and it is a pretty high price point.
[02:08:11] Some companies have a lot of people.
[02:08:13] Some people have smaller budgets.
[02:08:17] Because we recognize some companies asked us, hey, we want you to train everyone in our
[02:08:22] company.
[02:08:23] We have 150,000 employees.
[02:08:25] And they're located dispersed around the globe.
[02:08:29] Can you get that done for us?
[02:08:31] This is one of those things where it's like, no.
[02:08:33] I can't, we can't get 250,000 people in a, you know, in a, in a short enough period
[02:08:38] of time that it has the impact we want to deliver.
[02:08:40] So with all that, how do we overcome this barrier?
[02:08:43] We go to technology.
[02:08:45] So we've created online leadership training course.
[02:08:48] It's called EF online.
[02:08:52] It's going to be available through direct consumer if somebody will just want, like
[02:08:56] friends, and let's say you can't go to the master for whatever reason.
[02:08:59] This is a virtual, I guess it's a virtual master.
[02:09:05] Or it's a similar assimilation.
[02:09:10] That's not saying, yeah, that's what it is.
[02:09:12] The original idea for me was you go to the master without having to go.
[02:09:17] You get that information, get that interactivity without actually having to go to the
[02:09:22] master.
[02:09:24] So there you go.
[02:09:25] EF online and we made it for individuals.
[02:09:28] We also have it for enterprise.
[02:09:29] So we're now getting it.
[02:09:31] We already have it with our clients.
[02:09:32] They're stoked on it.
[02:09:34] And so EF online.com, it's going to be available to the masses New Year's Day.
[02:09:41] Anyway, first, 2019.
[02:09:45] And of course, there's EF over watch where we are connecting proven leaders from spec ops
[02:09:51] and combat aviation to companies in the civilian sector.
[02:09:55] That need combat proven and tested leaders, experienced leaders to come in into their
[02:10:02] organization with the principles of extreme ownership, with the principles of the dichotomy
[02:10:08] of leadership and helping them lead and win.
[02:10:12] That's EF over watch.com, whether you're a talent seeker, a career seeker.
[02:10:18] We are there for you.
[02:10:20] And if you want to continue communicating with us, we can be found and we can be communicated
[02:10:26] with on the interwebs, on Twitter, on Instagram, and on that, page, eep.
[02:10:33] Echos at Eko Charles and I am at Jocca Willink and finally, thanks to all our folks
[02:10:40] out there in uniform.
[02:10:43] That includes, of course, our military that protects us from foreign threats and here
[02:10:47] at home, our police and law enforcement firefighters, paramedics and EMTs, correctional officers,
[02:10:53] border patrol and all other first responders that keep us safe from evil doers.
[02:11:01] And sometimes they keep us safe from the wrath of nature itself and everyone else out there.
[02:11:09] Life can be hard in one of the hardest things that life can put you through is death, death
[02:11:17] of someone you care about.
[02:11:21] And when that happens, it is a reminder to all of us that the clock is ticking every day
[02:11:29] and every day that we have here is precious.
[02:11:33] So when death visits upon your life and tries to rip you apart and drown you in those
[02:11:43] waves of sorrow, don't let it.
[02:11:49] Live on, drive on and live on for those that you have lost and live your life to the upmost
[02:11:59] by getting out there every day and getting after it.
[02:12:08] And until next time, this is Echo and Jocco out.