Jocko Podcast 123 w/ Jake Schick: Into Darkness and Back Out. 22 Kill

2018-04-20T08:57:35Z

Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @jacob_schick @echocharles 0:00:00 - Opening 0:04:19 - Jake Schick. Early Days. 1:15:20 - Deployment. 1:45:26 - Jake gets wounded. 2:14:36 - Recovery. 3:12:27 - Giving back. 3:44:58 - Final Thoughts and take-aways. 3:52:19 - Support: JockoStore stuff, Super Krill Oil and Joint Warfare and Discipline Pre-Mission, THE MUSTER 005 in DC. Origin Brand Apparel and Jocko Gi, with Jocko White Tea,  Onnit Fitness stuff, and Psychological Warfare (on iTunes). Extreme Ownership (book), Way of The Warrior Kid 2: Marc's Mission, The Discipline Equals Freedom Field Manual, and Jocko Soap. 4:15:19 - Closing Gratitude.

AI summary of episode

okay I wasn't thinking but you could think that again that I didn't know what in order to drink this you could just gotta get like you just gotta grit your teeth and get song potentially like hey if that happens it happens kind of like if it's not like if it's not like I don't feel that way because the reality is when supplements taste like crap you don't eat it and so we have to be cognizant of the fact that you know there's we have to consistently remember that we are all always gonna be human we're always gonna be uncomfortable change most most people like regimented schedules they like to get up a certain time like a drink certain thing eat a certain thing workout a certain time go to lunch a certain time by nature all of us hate change anyone who's in a company that goes through a big transnis for a big change you know what I'm talking about but we always have to remember that just like in the Marines we always say temper gumby the more comfortable you get being uncomfortable the happier so it's a stereotype like in at work can I thought he meant maybe like out at the club or whatever like you know need seals tend to be more into you know what's funny is you know who made a joke about this Tim Kennedy we were here we were recording the podcast Tim Kennedy was literally doing a photo shoot and he was like he's got long hair and he was like I was just thinking like it's a little much but thank you you know and that was what it was like you know who the hell I'm on to take away from there right to honor their brother and like you know who am I to do that there's just showing love all the way not halfway and so of course me being me at the time I didn't look at it that way I was just like I'm naked in front of everyone type feeling I'm just uncomfortable right now so I ended up leaving Germany and I was only there for you know what even there a full day before they send me to Bethesda and I I lent because my family was supposed to meet me a Germany but the turnaround was so fast that you know the Marines right now we're just gonna send you Bethesda and I got to Bethesda and man those flights both flights from my rack of Jeremy Germany to Bethesda every little like bit of turbulence every little bump every little movement was like being blown up all over again it was narlie because your your body was under it was in so much pain it was just I'd never puked so much because of pain in my life and it was one of those things where I was again every little jar every movement was just like yours human is the gum like there's nothing special about when you when you were in the stereotype as I moved into leadership positions and I would hear that stereotype I realized it was a real thing and that that real thing wasn't it wasn't funny it wasn't funny because when you when you eat a meta a Marine Corps battalion commander and you have long hair your uniform doesn't look right or you meet an army battalion commander or an army brigade commander or a senior or a gunney sergeant or a company first sergeant when you meet one of them somebody that's been in the Marine Corps for 23 years and you can't put on and blouse your your pants and your boots it doesn't matter how good you are in the field they're looking at you and thinking oh this guy can't even blouse boots I don't want him around that's so that stereotype even though it had definitely was rooted in truth like hey man when we got to her body everyone had shape heads everyone had square away uniforms didn't allow patches we talked about them before you know we we had guys like if we could we put a whole element in army camouflage uniform so ace use they just look like army sir but it was blown up and over to the right and second view of what affected but the guys are not too mean at this point I'm back to telling God like a man just remember our deal remember our deal and the guys are okay shit we got your bro we got you you know we got you hanged tough and how to know where I was able to take a breath and the first thing I said was developed 360 there like the door to my room opens I knew whoever was about to walk in the door like I just felt like a a spiritual presence like I just felt I knew whoever that was was a person of faith like personally got knew it knew no doubt about it felt it when the door opened the dude comes around the corner and introduce himself and it's the base chaplain and I was like okay it usually means like by this guy has no shame like he's kind of like he's he has his moral standards maybe kind of low something like that right in white no shame means don't be shy so like in South Africa when I was in South Africa they say shame and I'm facing the nurse's station when I come out in the door shuts and I just completely and utterly broke down to the point of anger like I was I was sobbing in the angry I was so angry seeing him that way and seeing and I just like just yell like those bastards like what you know what why what are we doing what are we doing what are we doing what are we gonna do about that so and on the way I can see the load master mouth to one of the other one of the other crewman we're about to fly around a tornado I read his lips and I'm like hey god like come on man throw a dude a bone like we're about I'm gonna survive all the stuff I've survived and if you let me get taken out by a tornado like we're gonna be fighting this bullshit and I went back there and started that process man and let me tell you something I consider and tell you a conviction I know why addicts they addicts because that slow withdrawal process of getting clean I mean this whole heartedly I don't know what was harder being blown up or getting clean I honestly don't know what was harder because I mean hell coming off the drugs they gave you drugs to help you come off the drugs and it's like I just you know what the frick it didn't there shot or something you can give me and I can get the hell out of here oh if we rolled out all the stereotypes for the services like marines dumb jarhead uh crayon the crayon thing that's the big marine core one what crayon crayon either yeah crayons that's like legit thing the the army's got there you know who the things and you know we don't have that kind of all that kind of thing going on uh green braise and then be willing to lower your wall and talk about the real shit you know then we have stay the course which is that's a traditional therapy that's the this is the you can't be holiday non-traditional stay the course is very traditional it's the one-on-one therapy with the warrior first owner his or her family and listen the reason that that was an attractive approach was because if you look back on what is the most successful outcome measures as far as therapy goes and as far as treating matters of the mind that has the best track record the one-on-one I think everyone on the spin and ballicator I should talk to professional way the least once a month every single person and I'm saying that is the guy that I would I would launch my piss bottle in the hospital that wanted to come in my room now I'm telling you right now I wish I had started that a long time ago because it would have saved me from a lot of shit I've had to do with because I let my pride win that's it I mean don't be afraid to say what it is we started a thing called the Brave Program which is women's specific because believe it or not neither sex knows everything that just don't there's power numbers but women when you break it down you break the numbers down to the bare bones they're leading the charge and everything in a negative light and that's I think it has a lot to do with there a much smaller population when it comes to the service community so there are more apt to be ice to do one self-medication isolation you know and then and they don't have nearly as big as a immediate tribe to depend on as we do because they're just way less of them and so that's that's our Brave Program and they can go do all the things that all the guys do and I called Flipper one in Flipper two and that's when I was kind of introduced to the nonprofit world and working with warriors and their families and first responders and law enforcement officers and their families you know it was like they clicked with me like I like I like this so you so you go through the two and a half months and you get clean what's the temptation like once you're clean are you are you feeling like I mean is it always there what is it for a while bro for a while it's all day every day every time I leave my room or I have to talk to someone rather I'm related to him or not or got for a bit I have to go to like the mall or some shit all I thought about for a while was man this would be so much easier if I was I right now all the time so I thought about for a while what about and I was like I don't want to experience what I'm about to have to experience I'd rather take the cowards way out so I was like I'm sure I could like I'm I'm passed out when he walks in I'm on a lot of drugs that'll work so I hear not call the door I'm like here the door open so they load their they're rolling me on the gurney and this young sailors pushing me and I remember every little like in the grout that separates tiles like every little bump it was like getting blown up again and it would just make it would take my pan from six to as much as you could think snap of a family and it was gnarly and so I remember he's going to push me on the elevator to take me down at ICU and you know the big gap the separates the floor and the elevator we goes across that He's like, you know, it's like he fell off a poster, and there he was, you know, like three red stripe, make Matt black belt, and just, I mean, drill master, all of you name it, and he did it. yeah man they sent me a stop thing today that's why i know this stuff get it for your business life and also you can right now order the follow on book two extreme ownership that are wrote with my brother life babbin it's called the dichotomy of leadership it is finding the balance as a leader and i talk about this all the time on the podcast i actually said i actually talked about this in the first public interview i ever did with Tim Ferriss he asked me about the qualities of leaders i said balance so well that's what i'm talking about as we continue to work with companies and businesses people like the hardest thing people have hardest challenge people have is balance i talked to talk about that with the talking about chesty polar so much balance he balanced perfectly be between being hard and being gentle he found that perfect balance because you know if you're gentle two gentles a leader you're a pushover known respect you two hard as a leader you drive people too hard you're slave driver no one likes your no one respects you you gotta find that balance that's what this book is about and if you need qrf at your company quick reaction force right if you need some support some help with your leadership well contact the quick reaction force for your team it's called national on front it's my leadership consultant company it's me it's life babbin jp denel davberg website is national on front dot com we solve problems through leadership boom if you got a problem it's leadership of course the master leadership seminar zero zero five is in washing the dc may 17th and 18th and zero zero six is in San Francisco October 17th and 18th dc is close to being sold out right now it might be sold out there might be a few tickets left but if you want to register extreme ownership dot com get in the game with us i will not be in the presidential suite eating chocolate covered strawberries and drinking fizzy water i will not be doing that i will be with you if you come to the master i'll be with you hanging out eating lunch working out talking answering questions the whole time no green room lake same way jp same way dav same way echo Charles same same way you come to you anyone of those if you want to they're fun I don't imagine being on the drill field as long as he was the help and he said we're doing our hanging in there first son he said it could go could go hey you want to have him in with my brother my dad was like sure you know go ahead first order like he was gonna turn around come talk to me there by in the room he looks right at my father and says like okay these are some serious things where for six months to a year like I didn't know if I was gonna keep my left leg on my left arm because they they were I was going through all these operations to save these two appendages that were and for all its purposes I was a guinea pig for a lot of stuff which I'm okay with was better me than my brothers I'm alright with that small price to pay would be one of the world's finest right and they're like hey man we gotta do something this is you know this is this is our family no one even knows this is a thing with the hell are we doing and at the time I'm working at a place that focuses completely on the brain I'm surrounded by neuroscience this PhD's MD's and I'm learning a lot of things that just reiterated the fact that post-managed stress, rag, brain injury these are very, very real things and I worked there for three years while 22 kills started and it basically started as an awareness movement and that's where the push-up challenge was born the 22 push-up challenge I was started by 22 kills in 2012 this was this and that went viral in 2016 so you know overnight success is not a real thing and it's like, hey, I'm how pretty sure he's like, oh, well, I couldn't, I didn't do anything like, and I'm like, hey, first of all, there is no Richter skill on painted suffering. and I can't do that to the tribe on top of that there's I can't I need to get my shift together and it's gonna be ugly and it's gonna be sloppy and it's not gonna be it's gonna be the antithesis of what it should look like but I owe that to them I owe that to him that is when I decided that you know what I'm gonna I'm going to try really hard to do this life thing the way that I'm supposed to do it you know it was like if that's the way Murphy works dude not a fan not a fan of of that Murphy and so you know wake up and I'm like all right got a wake up team okay well when I walk off a stage the first time I walk off a stage and I feel like I didn't leave a piece of my soul there that's the last time I'll do it because again it's mutually beneficial and if it's not then in your presenter you're only gonna fake it for so long people don't really that's like I feel like I ran a marathon when I'm done presenting for an hour I'm mentally physically and emotionally exhausted and if you're not you're faking it it's getting out they know like one you know that happens to be number one number one kids podcast kids and family podcast so that's cool all right speaking of way the warrior kid there's the book way of the warrior kid and there's also the new book boom there it is hardcover way the warrior kid to marks mission uncle jake continues to help mark with some of his problems losing his temper how to handle being made fun of don't you wish somebody told you how to handle being made fun of yeah your kid and it just starts playing the video no advertisement here's the thing I don't mind the advertisements that's how I find out about like a bunch of the new music come out a lot of like um like you know intermittent and she's like you're gonna have to come back to BAM see we're gonna have to ween you off the drugs which is not what I wanted to hear because it was like when I left him so you're already saying he had to go on like no need to ever come back here done but just with us we so we have programs like Camp Baha'ala which is a program where we can we take up words first responders law force and officers the most in the early side of it is we're taking them up in the helicopter and taking them to kill hogs out of helicopter like as if you don't like that then you don't like freedom I'm dead say you're getting your first one hurry at first horse walks in so I'm like I gotta pass out as soon as you bust the hatch and walks in my freaking heart monitor dime is me out because it goes from like the slow steady beep to the the rapid beep and I'm like I'm up there obviously this isn't gonna work and there is no plan to be I'm awake and he looks at my family I'm in my dad's in there my mom my step mom my aunt my cousins my brother my sister and and it's it's a humbling experience to do it as well because being in the shadow of people like these guys people like yourself it's it's a humbling experience to be around warriors like that from all phases of history and we're gonna keep doing it and when you get that program rolling get your ass back on here we'll talk about it we'll talk about how it's going okay that's might not might not keep the left arm and I looked down at my left leg which was turned outward like if you're sitting down with both legs like you're gonna touch your toes my left leg was turned outward to the left and my foot was inverted like with my toes pointing at me and my boot was blown off but It was like a, I don't know if he's like a Lance Koolie and then there's like a staff sergeant and they had driver seat and I'm up on the turret, right? and I was like no this is like a three weeks supply and um man I started that's how I integrated I'm back into civilian society was high as a kite knowing that if I don't have to fill and I can do go through this thing numb nothing matters because if you can't fill it who cares you know I mean who cares and it was something that really was um it just got worse and worse I mean essentially what I did for a year and a half was chase my first high And he had like clocks, like multiple clocks from a from like a timers, like kitchen timers. it's you hear all the time like I want to help I don't know right me here a lot from reverts you know I want to I want to help save the puppies that don't have a home I tell people all the time if we were trying to raise money for dogs that died back so that we'd be sitting on a billion dollars it's true it's just is what it is why do you think we're still still spending billions and billions of dollars on all this research and all these studies and trying to figure it out because we just don't understand it that's why we you know we you talk about all timeers and CTE we don't even have the technology and the imaging to recognize these things in a living human we put a man on the moon in 1969 can't tell you if you have CTE wire life you know for me it's like hey let's step back and look at our priorities because one thing everyone's got is a brain everyone and the problem with the brain is there's no prosthetic for that you get the one you got and but I go see Ty mind you this time at this point I still haven't gotten like emotional one time like it's since I left do love like I haven't gotten emotional from my family or otherwise still pretty squared away with the emhole emotion thing I go see Ty but the the first guy the staffs are every day man every day and he started like he would walk in and like tickle where my right foot should be and it would tick it was crazy because it would tickle and it would not be like that come on bro

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Episode transcript

[00:00:00] This is Jockel Podcast number 123 with echo Charles and me, Jockel willing. Good evening, echo. Good evening.
[00:00:10] Now this podcast is the third in a series of podcasts that I've done.
[00:00:20] And if you haven't listened to podcasts number 121 and 122,
[00:00:26] then go back and listen to those episodes before you listen to this one.
[00:00:32] The first of those podcasts number 121 tells the story of Chester Poler,
[00:00:38] the iconic and heroic Marine Corps legend that fought in five wars.
[00:00:46] What's awarded five Navy crosses, the most of any servicemen ever re-retired as a three-star general after rising through the ranks from private.
[00:01:00] Podcast 123 tells a much different story.
[00:01:06] It tells the story of Chester Poler's son, Luis Poler, Jr.
[00:01:12] who also joined the Marine Corps.
[00:01:16] Who fought Vietnam, who was horrifically wounded and continued to fight against pain and against loss and against depression and addiction when he returned home from war.
[00:01:32] And in the end he lost that battle. After falling back into the downward spiral of alcohol and prescription pain killers,
[00:01:44] he became another statistic of the most dreadful kind.
[00:01:52] He turned the gun on himself and took his own life.
[00:02:00] And as I said at the beginning of this series,
[00:02:06] I was seriously questioning whether or not I could do this podcast.
[00:02:14] If I had the wherewithal to gut through the pain of that story,
[00:02:20] and more important if it was the right thing to do if it was the right thing to bring this story to light.
[00:02:28] Because clearly the story does not have a happy ending.
[00:02:36] And I wondered if there was any good at all to be found in it.
[00:02:44] But I also know that darkness left unchecked and ignored
[00:02:50] his darkness that grows. And if we do not learn from the past, then we know we are condemned to repeat it.
[00:03:06] There was one more compelling thing that allowed me to go forward in producing this series of podcasts about a year ago.
[00:03:14] I was in Texas and I was speaking at the Chris Kyle Memorial Benefit.
[00:03:20] Then I met someone there. He was a Marine.
[00:03:24] The uncle was a Marine. His grandfather was a Marine.
[00:03:28] And he had been severely wounded and I rack.
[00:03:34] And as I learned more about him, I came to understand the hell he had been through as much more than just physical.
[00:03:42] Like many veterans.
[00:03:46] The psychological wounds were also severe.
[00:03:50] But he had fought against the pain.
[00:03:54] He fought against the loss.
[00:03:56] The fight that so many other veterans fight and he had come out the other side stronger and better and have dedicated his life to helping other veterans win that fight.
[00:04:10] His name is Jacob Shek.
[00:04:14] And there's an honor to have him on the podcast with us here tonight.
[00:04:18] Jake.
[00:04:20] Welcome to the show, brother.
[00:04:22] Thanks for having me, bro.
[00:04:24] Thanks for coming on, man.
[00:04:26] You bet. I'm here to help.
[00:04:28] Well, I know you help a lot of people.
[00:04:30] And I want to hopefully get you out there.
[00:04:32] Reach even more people.
[00:04:34] Thanks for that.
[00:04:36] When I first met you, I was just talking to you.
[00:04:40] I don't know. I probably spent a couple hours at some random bar in a hotel somewhere in Texas.
[00:04:46] Yeah, over there at the stockyard.
[00:04:48] Yeah.
[00:04:50] Man, I told you then, I said, you got to come and get on my podcast.
[00:04:54] But when I was like I said, when I was reading these books, I was saying to myself, I got to have.
[00:05:00] I got to show the other side, man.
[00:05:02] I'm going to show that that you can get out of this. You get through it. And there's no better example that.
[00:05:06] Then, then you and the fight that you've been through.
[00:05:10] So let's get into it, man.
[00:05:12] Let's start. Let's start at the beginning.
[00:05:14] Let's start with young Jake.
[00:05:16] Oh, Lord, dude.
[00:05:18] I blocked up most much of the time.
[00:05:20] What were we talking about? Louisiana, bossier city.
[00:05:22] Is that how you say it?
[00:05:23] Back in the day.
[00:05:24] But now that was, that was until you were 12.
[00:05:26] Yeah, eight.
[00:05:28] Yeah, that was Bozier city.
[00:05:30] Yeah, but you could depend on what part of Louisiana or from pronounce like that.
[00:05:34] The other way.
[00:05:35] The wrong way.
[00:05:36] No, they're both right. And both sides of Louisiana will tell you that too.
[00:05:40] Nice.
[00:05:41] Yeah.
[00:05:42] But yeah, I went to Texas when I was about 12.
[00:05:46] And moved in with my mom.
[00:05:49] So I went from like a structured discipline home to the intent.
[00:05:55] This is of that.
[00:05:56] Which caught up to me pretty quick.
[00:05:58] Yeah.
[00:06:00] And so now your grandfather's ring was in the ring for?
[00:06:03] Yeah, grandfather served war to fall on E.O.
[00:06:07] And it survived.
[00:06:10] And was, you know, obviously the driving factor with my interest
[00:06:17] of being a Marine.
[00:06:19] And because I was really close to my grandmother growing up.
[00:06:22] And my grandfather passed away fairly long in the 50s.
[00:06:25] And there's a lot of questions about how he passed away.
[00:06:32] But we'll never know, right?
[00:06:37] I mean.
[00:06:38] So, but my grandmother would talk about my grandfather in her
[00:06:41] Trust was just swell with pride.
[00:06:43] You know, I was at the baby of the family.
[00:06:45] And so when I would see that, I just thought to myself,
[00:06:48] when she talks about me, I want her to do that same thing.
[00:06:52] So it looks like I need to be a Marine for that to happen.
[00:06:56] Because every time she would talk about him, something from his
[00:07:00] time the service in the Marines would be very close to that sentence.
[00:07:05] And I knew, I want whatever that is.
[00:07:09] And at eight years old, I made my mind up that I'm getting that.
[00:07:14] No matter what it takes, I'm going to get that.
[00:07:17] I mean, the only alternative was death.
[00:07:19] That was the only thing that was going to stop me from getting it.
[00:07:23] And he and my grandmother and my uncle served in nom,
[00:07:30] and was the second generation Marine who's still very much alive.
[00:07:35] And he's pretty salty.
[00:07:41] And it was funny, man, because before I went to boot, I talked to him
[00:07:46] and he said, I don't know what to do.
[00:07:50] I'm about to go.
[00:07:52] What do I need to know?
[00:07:54] And this is all he said.
[00:07:56] It said, be loud, be fast.
[00:07:57] Don't volunteer for anything.
[00:07:59] That was it.
[00:08:01] So I'm on the phone and like waiting for the follow-up.
[00:08:04] Yeah.
[00:08:05] I was like, okay, what that's it.
[00:08:08] He loud, be fast.
[00:08:09] No volunteer, everything.
[00:08:10] I got to go.
[00:08:11] And you know what's funny, man, is he's right.
[00:08:15] I told that to.
[00:08:16] They're like, hey, what do I need to know?
[00:08:18] I bet you I've said that three dozen times.
[00:08:20] To inferl a pair.
[00:08:21] It's almost a complete opposite of what with the Master Chief of Seal team one told me when I got there.
[00:08:25] And he said, keep your mouth shut, keep your ears open.
[00:08:28] Don't forget anything and don't be late.
[00:08:30] That's what he told me.
[00:08:31] And you've, I volunteered for everything.
[00:08:34] I was dumb.
[00:08:35] But fired up.
[00:08:36] I was fired up kid.
[00:08:38] Yeah, well, not a lot of not much changed.
[00:08:41] No, it's, it's actually interesting because in the in the in polar juniors book, he's talking about us as they're in there in the basic school and they're getting ready to select for what they want to do.
[00:08:53] And they start getting graffiti on the desks and people are like,
[00:08:57] uh,
[00:08:58] motor T and out in three who gives the fuck driver truck and they're just being, they're like,
[00:09:04] not all of them.
[00:09:05] A lot of them started looking to work on him and you know what I don't want them to that.
[00:09:08] And very few of them were saying, hey, I want to be an infantry commander.
[00:09:12] And that's what a lot of them got, whether they wanted it or not.
[00:09:16] Yeah, yeah.
[00:09:17] And then a lot of them got work, rather they wanted it or not.
[00:09:20] Yeah.
[00:09:21] Well, like I was just telling you, he was, he was OCS, the basic school 20 days leave in Vietnam as a two commander.
[00:09:29] Welcome to the court.
[00:09:30] Yeah.
[00:09:31] You know, just when you think the green wind he can't get any harder, you know,
[00:09:35] it can't, there's no limit.
[00:09:38] I mean, it's just true.
[00:09:40] It's like, with me, it was never, I never questioned, you know,
[00:09:48] I became a decent football player when I got the Texas, which was basically a
[00:09:52] graduated high school.
[00:09:54] Not basically.
[00:09:55] That's not a graduate high school.
[00:09:57] I was lucky enough to be just selected as a captain, my senior year and you know,
[00:10:03] I played for five eight takes football team, which was, this is the real deal in Texas, man.
[00:10:07] And it's not just under the NFL.
[00:10:10] Like in terms of intensity.
[00:10:12] You know, we had our team and get together and we'd be like,
[00:10:16] we would like list out all the college teams.
[00:10:19] We were totally sure we could be just the young and stupid.
[00:10:23] Man, I mean, and it's just, it's crazy because you see the athleticism
[00:10:27] difference between, especially when you go to your big schools and the NFL,
[00:10:33] it's the speed, crazy.
[00:10:36] And the strength, I mean, all of it, the agility, it's night and day.
[00:10:40] It's night and day and it just goes to show you as young kids.
[00:10:43] You don't know shit.
[00:10:44] You think you know a lot, you don't know shit.
[00:10:47] I mean, I was that way.
[00:10:49] And I mean, well, really, I still don't know shit.
[00:10:52] And I'll be 36 this month.
[00:10:55] And I mean, anyone who comes up to me and they're like, hey, I got it figured out.
[00:10:59] Yeah, yeah.
[00:11:00] You know what I said?
[00:11:01] Perfect.
[00:11:02] You know, long there need to be in my circle because I'll never learn anything from you.
[00:11:06] Yeah.
[00:11:07] I know I'm going to die student life, but I mean, I was I loved football.
[00:11:12] That was, that's what I thought high school was for.
[00:11:15] You know.
[00:11:16] And so it was the old cliche thing.
[00:11:20] You know, it was, it was my small city.
[00:11:23] Um, where in Texas, where you top out?
[00:11:26] I got up at a COPB yellow.
[00:11:28] Look out was.
[00:11:29] And, you know, had it not been for the, for like my counselor in the principal and all those people,
[00:11:37] like I wouldn't graduate it.
[00:11:38] Because I was pre-spent from the, the political crap by the time, you know, my senior year rolled around.
[00:11:46] And I just didn't know if I wanted it.
[00:11:48] I didn't know if I wanted it to do with it anymore.
[00:11:50] You know, I didn't know if I wanted to play the game.
[00:11:54] It comes with playing the game.
[00:11:56] And it just got to where it was like, you know, this is, it's kind of bullshit.
[00:12:02] Because it's like growing up, right?
[00:12:04] Small town Louisiana where you go to church every Wednesday, every Sunday morning.
[00:12:09] And you put on your Sunday best and you go to church and you act a certain way or you're out in public and you act a certain way.
[00:12:15] You know, but you get home, the doors closed, that's all bullshit.
[00:12:20] I mean, in Ruby and condition is little kids.
[00:12:24] Like, hey, just, just fake it till you make it.
[00:12:27] And, you know, I'm alright saying that now.
[00:12:31] So you got, so when you were in high school, you kind of got tired of playing the game.
[00:12:34] You were just thinking, now, now, didn't you join the Marine Corps?
[00:12:38] Yeah, but getting in my senior year is also already 18.
[00:12:41] I didn't tell anybody, because all those people I did.
[00:12:43] And I went over famously with my dad.
[00:12:46] Because my dad thought I was going to go play ball to small school.
[00:12:50] Because because I missed more days, my senior year than I actually went to.
[00:12:55] Because from football season was over, I was like, sweet, I'm done.
[00:12:58] Yeah.
[00:12:59] Like, that's it.
[00:13:00] I like, I don't need to do this school shit anymore.
[00:13:04] That's overrated.
[00:13:05] But I knew it was not, you know, I mean, then they,
[00:13:09] Now, were you thinking, did you join, were you planning to go active duty, were you in the reserves?
[00:13:13] No, so I'd signed up in my recruiter who I'll never forget is,
[00:13:18] It was a, he was legit, man.
[00:13:21] You hear a lot of like horror stories about recruiters.
[00:13:23] I literally, I literally have a question here.
[00:13:25] It's like, how is your recruiter?
[00:13:26] Because so many people have got recruiter stories.
[00:13:29] One way or the other, that either screwed him or it's only took care of him.
[00:13:32] So my recruiter, first of all, he got me out of a lot of stuff where I was like,
[00:13:38] Dude, we're now days, there's no way.
[00:13:40] It just wouldn't fly.
[00:13:41] Yeah.
[00:13:42] And I was like, how old did you do?
[00:13:43] Because if you don't worry about it, you'd just better be in the office.
[00:13:46] So I tell you, be in the office.
[00:13:47] I might, bro, you can drive me if you want.
[00:13:50] But he, he, so they, you know,
[00:13:54] Most recruiting stations are like inside a shopping center or whatever.
[00:13:58] So they were right next to like a big grocery store chain and one day,
[00:14:02] some, some dude goes and still some stuff.
[00:14:06] And, and he chases him down and like whips his ass in the parking lot.
[00:14:13] So he's a firefighter in the court, right?
[00:14:16] So, and I volunteered for infantry.
[00:14:19] I was like, I'm going to be on a big run.
[00:14:21] He tried talking me out of it for months.
[00:14:23] Yeah.
[00:14:24] He's like, Jake, you really don't want to.
[00:14:26] I was like, no, that's what I want to do.
[00:14:28] Yeah.
[00:14:29] And, but he chased the dude down and I was like, see,
[00:14:32] that was for me, that was affirmation from God that I'm doing the right thing.
[00:14:38] You know, these are my people.
[00:14:40] Yeah, that's just where I was supposed to be, you know.
[00:14:43] But it was, man, I, I, my second, I think it was a second week of football season.
[00:14:49] And I, I jacked up my right knee,
[00:14:52] and I'm seeing all my right knee and, and when I went inside the paperwork,
[00:14:57] I was on crutches and then in a brace.
[00:14:59] And I, I opened the door and like, hobbling and he goes,
[00:15:02] what are you doing?
[00:15:04] And I said, I'm sure sign up and he goes, not like that.
[00:15:06] You're not?
[00:15:07] You know, I said, give me two weeks.
[00:15:10] We're playing whoever we're playing.
[00:15:12] I said, I'll be on the field, give me two weeks.
[00:15:14] I mean, it was like, there's no way.
[00:15:15] I said, okay, be here in two weeks.
[00:15:18] And he showed up and I played it hurt like hell.
[00:15:21] But I played through it, lied to my trainers, lied to the coaches.
[00:15:24] So, I'm good.
[00:15:25] I'm good.
[00:15:26] You know, just a young dumb, like, you know, power before IQ, right?
[00:15:32] Just power through.
[00:15:33] If you can just power through, you don't really need the IQ.
[00:15:37] And that's what you're going to be stupid.
[00:15:39] You got to be tough.
[00:15:40] That's it.
[00:15:41] That's it, man.
[00:15:42] And there's a lot of truth to that, which we can all access to that.
[00:15:45] Right?
[00:15:46] Every person.
[00:15:47] I don't care.
[00:15:48] I don't care.
[00:15:49] If you have a pecker or not, you can access to that.
[00:15:51] If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough.
[00:15:54] I'll be tough for sure.
[00:15:56] And so, we, but I ended up playing and I signed up.
[00:16:00] I didn't tell anybody, and then it was actually, I graduated by the grace of God.
[00:16:06] And because of high school football and taxes.
[00:16:10] And it was, it was amazing, man, because my dad actually met my recruiter at the high school graduation.
[00:16:18] And he was in his dress bluest, which is, you know, the best uniform there is.
[00:16:22] No one can argue.
[00:16:24] And if you do, you just stay.
[00:16:26] Yeah.
[00:16:27] But he walks up and I said, hey, Dad, you know, I'd like you to meet my, my recruiter.
[00:16:33] When he looked at me, my recruiter holds his hand out the shake.
[00:16:36] I said, man, my dad looked at me.
[00:16:38] And he said, you're dad, was this your dad finding out?
[00:16:41] Yeah.
[00:16:42] Oh, dang.
[00:16:43] And he said, why would you do that?
[00:16:45] And then he looks at my recruiter, looks back at me, like waiting for me to answer.
[00:16:49] And I said, Dad, I would shake his hand.
[00:16:52] You're your banker.
[00:16:54] I would shake his hand.
[00:16:56] Pretty sure you could take it.
[00:16:58] And he, he was pissed, man.
[00:17:01] He was pissed because he's, and I didn't understand why at the time really.
[00:17:07] You know, but later on, this is 2000, right?
[00:17:11] This is pretty 2000.
[00:17:12] Yeah, 2001 actually.
[00:17:14] I was my graduation.
[00:17:15] So this is May, May, June, 2001.
[00:17:17] So, yeah, this is pretty 90%.
[00:17:19] I'm already signed up.
[00:17:21] I'm in.
[00:17:22] I'm going.
[00:17:23] And he, so your dad's thoughts were more around, like, hey, you should go to college.
[00:17:28] You should get a job.
[00:17:29] Yeah.
[00:17:29] You know, I'm a banker.
[00:17:30] It's a good life.
[00:17:31] Yeah.
[00:17:31] That type of thing.
[00:17:32] You don't need to go and do this other stuff.
[00:17:34] Exactly.
[00:17:35] And so, and so my thing was,
[00:17:36] There's no war going on, you know, at the time.
[00:17:38] No, right.
[00:17:38] Yeah, no.
[00:17:39] I mean, it was, it was, quote on quote piece time.
[00:17:41] Yeah.
[00:17:41] And, uh, who's we all know, there's just something.
[00:17:43] But whatever.
[00:17:44] You know, whatever.
[00:17:45] Rainbows and roses and lollipop people want to have in their safety bubble.
[00:17:49] But we, you know, we.
[00:17:52] I knew that that was.
[00:17:54] That's what I was destined to do.
[00:17:55] I knew it.
[00:17:56] Like I felt it as much as I know that, like, my legs and that were going to grow back.
[00:18:01] Like I knew that much that this is what I'm supposed to do.
[00:18:05] And I was helping on it.
[00:18:07] Helped it.
[00:18:08] And so, my dad was pissed.
[00:18:10] I was, I questioned it because maybe I didn't tell him, right?
[00:18:13] I got that from him and in a mirror, he had a thing.
[00:18:15] He's right. I mean, it's never just one thing.
[00:18:17] Anything.
[00:18:18] It's never just one thing.
[00:18:19] Like I love people.
[00:18:21] Like, well, I know what the problem is.
[00:18:22] And like, well, what do you want to bet there's more than one?
[00:18:26] Because it's, it's just the way it is.
[00:18:28] But he, I didn't realize and I didn't think about, you know, at the time,
[00:18:33] I'm, I'm 19 at this point.
[00:18:35] And I didn't think about he had seen what war does to not only a person,
[00:18:42] but someone that is his blood, his flesh and blood.
[00:18:46] He's seen the after effects.
[00:18:48] You know, he's, so he saw it with his dad and you won't.
[00:18:50] Was that his dad or his mom's dad?
[00:18:51] That was my dad's dad.
[00:18:52] And his brother, his older brother.
[00:18:55] Yeah.
[00:18:56] And so he had seen the after effects and seeing, you know, my grandfather was a hard man.
[00:19:01] And, you know, the way that he, he was a man when it was okay to be a man.
[00:19:06] And you wouldn't get judged for being a man.
[00:19:09] Where is now that's a lot.
[00:19:11] I mean, don't act like you don't want to help talk about you.
[00:19:14] Because now it's like, but you can use you through bathroom.
[00:19:19] That's okay.
[00:19:20] Oh, I guess.
[00:19:22] Yeah.
[00:19:23] I mean, yeah, I'm looking at you with a blank stare because I'm like detached from all that,
[00:19:29] like all that politic.
[00:19:30] I don't even, it's weird, man.
[00:19:32] My life is weird that I don't, I just kind of revolve and revolve in my own little world.
[00:19:37] So when I, when I hear like, when I do, when that kind of stuff enters my world,
[00:19:40] I'm just kind of like, is that really happening?
[00:19:42] It doesn't really compute and I move on.
[00:19:44] I don't know.
[00:19:45] Well, see, but when you're in my world, it's almost, you have to know.
[00:19:49] It's not me, unfortunately, with what we're trying to do.
[00:19:52] Yeah.
[00:19:53] It's, you know, it's a big ass mountain.
[00:19:54] We're trying to move, man.
[00:19:55] And it's, but anyway, I go to, I go to boot and actually nine, eleven happens.
[00:20:02] Yeah.
[00:20:03] I'm in my room the night before.
[00:20:05] And the whole thing behind the reserves was,
[00:20:07] so I thought about it and I was like, okay.
[00:20:10] So when you graduate may of 2001, you, you screw around for the summer being a Texas kid
[00:20:17] that graduated from my school that's going in the Marine Corps.
[00:20:20] Oh, yeah.
[00:20:21] That was a real PG rated situation.
[00:20:24] Hundred percent.
[00:20:26] Then September 11th, that when's your boot camp when you leave in your boot camp?
[00:20:30] I leave for boot camp the month after 9, 11th.
[00:20:32] So it's on.
[00:20:34] Yeah.
[00:20:35] So it was nine, eleven happens.
[00:20:38] And so the way I looked at it was like, okay, you know what?
[00:20:41] My grandfather was Corporal Schick, my uncle was Corporal Schick.
[00:20:45] I'm going to raise the bar for whoever the fourth generation is.
[00:20:48] I mean, because that's what we're supposed to do, right?
[00:20:50] For those that come after us.
[00:20:51] And so I was like, okay, I'm going to join the reserves.
[00:20:54] Still infantry.
[00:20:55] I'm always going to stay infantry.
[00:20:56] I wanted to be a career infantryman.
[00:20:59] And then I'll pick up B5.
[00:21:03] By that time, I'll already have my degree.
[00:21:05] And then I'll get my commission.
[00:21:08] Then I'll be a must thing.
[00:21:09] So whoever the fourth generation is, like the bar set.
[00:21:13] Correct.
[00:21:14] Like that. So that was my mindset, right?
[00:21:16] Obviously, Johnny G. I had a different plan.
[00:21:19] But we, but nine, eleven happens.
[00:21:22] Yeah.
[00:21:23] And then it was, I mean, it became very real, very quick.
[00:21:26] Yeah.
[00:21:27] That, oh, okay.
[00:21:28] Well, this is, I mean, I was going home about it.
[00:21:31] Yeah. But my, in my body, we wake up and my mother walks in my room and
[00:21:37] like opens the door and beer cans like get pushed everywhere.
[00:21:41] So first she's like, what the hell is this?
[00:21:43] And then she's like, turn on the TV.
[00:21:45] You were under attack.
[00:21:46] And I turned on the TV.
[00:21:48] I looked at my body and we went to the, we did the body system.
[00:21:52] And the court, and I looked at him and I was like, bro, we're going to war.
[00:21:56] Jack.
[00:21:57] And it was when it, you know, for a 19 year old kid,
[00:22:00] you have that sense of, let's rock and roll.
[00:22:04] But then the smart little little, little smart person that lives in the back of your head
[00:22:10] was like, this may suck.
[00:22:13] Like this may suck bad.
[00:22:16] But it didn't, obviously, didn't deter my motivation in doing that.
[00:22:21] And so we, yeah, man, I left the month after 9, 11, which was, you know,
[00:22:26] I was right down the street from here.
[00:22:28] And I'm, see, R.D. San Diego, man, and I, let me tell you something.
[00:22:31] As if Marie court, her own structure,
[00:22:33] and he'd need more motivation to be Marie court, her own structure.
[00:22:36] They had it.
[00:22:37] September 11th, they were ready to get some.
[00:22:39] They had it.
[00:22:40] It was gnarly.
[00:22:42] But no matter, from the time that we landed,
[00:22:46] and the time that we got on the bus,
[00:22:48] which, this was something that always crack me up.
[00:22:51] Because you land, you can see the depot from the runway.
[00:22:57] But for whatever reason, the bus ride takes like an hour and a half.
[00:23:01] You know?
[00:23:03] That's welcome to the military in general.
[00:23:07] It didn't take long for me to completely understand why that is the way it is.
[00:23:13] And so it was, but from the time, the first time I still on the elephant prince,
[00:23:18] he's up till now.
[00:23:20] But to this point right now, today, I wouldn't question, I don't question any of it.
[00:23:25] I don't, I wouldn't take any of it back.
[00:23:27] I wouldn't trade any of it.
[00:23:29] I have no doubt that everything has happened exactly the way it's supposed to happen.
[00:23:33] I don't believe in coincidences.
[00:23:35] And I wouldn't take anything back.
[00:23:37] I mean, just because something that I've learned at the right old age
[00:23:42] of soon to be 36 is that you can't have triomphe
[00:23:46] without trials of tribulation and tragedy.
[00:23:49] Those are kissing cousins.
[00:23:51] You know, you can't have one without the other.
[00:23:53] And where you go with it is up to you.
[00:23:56] And, you know, my life was one hell of a roller coaster ride.
[00:23:59] And it started the first time I still don't know the elephant prince.
[00:24:02] And it started way before that, man.
[00:24:04] Started, you know, I definitely had trauma before the trauma.
[00:24:08] I mean, I think majority of us do because we live in a very spoiled, first world society.
[00:24:13] And we forget that we're mere mortals.
[00:24:16] Just on the special about us.
[00:24:18] We're all the same.
[00:24:20] We were all just living, breathing, sexeskin.
[00:24:25] Jack.
[00:24:27] You know, that's it.
[00:24:29] And so I, when I started boot, it was,
[00:24:33] it was one of those deals where the mindset started of.
[00:24:36] And I already had some leadership skills.
[00:24:38] Thanks to football and team sports.
[00:24:40] And I had, I learned that growing up.
[00:24:42] And then in high school, I really got the home, those leadership skills.
[00:24:46] Which really helped me.
[00:24:47] And boot.
[00:24:48] I mean, I really believe in team athletics because it's, it's like everything.
[00:24:52] No matter what you're dealing with,
[00:24:54] the greater good is always going to be bigger than you.
[00:24:58] Always.
[00:24:59] And you have to hang on to that humility in that.
[00:25:02] I'm just, I'm just a dude.
[00:25:04] I'm just a dude.
[00:25:06] Being a dude.
[00:25:07] But I'm just a dude playing a dude.
[00:25:09] Trying to be another dude.
[00:25:10] But, you know what I'm, you know what I'm mean.
[00:25:13] It's, you, you, you realize often.
[00:25:16] If you're really trying to do something that's worth doing,
[00:25:20] you'll remind it often how human you are.
[00:25:22] Yeah.
[00:25:23] And, and, you know, I used to tell my guys if you're doing something for the right reasons,
[00:25:26] you're going to win in the end.
[00:25:28] Like, and that means if you're doing something that's going to help the team win,
[00:25:32] you're going to win in the end.
[00:25:33] You're going to get what you want.
[00:25:34] The things are going to go the way you want.
[00:25:36] If you're doing something for yourself as reasons or for the wrong reasons,
[00:25:39] you're going to lose in the end.
[00:25:40] Now, you might, both those, the person that's doing it for the right reasons,
[00:25:43] might lose some battles along the way.
[00:25:45] The person that's doing it for the wrong reasons might win some battles along the way.
[00:25:49] But, the end game.
[00:25:51] Person, if you're doing the right things, the right reasons,
[00:25:53] if you're looking out for the team, if you're doing it for the good of the team,
[00:25:56] you're going to win.
[00:25:58] And if you're doing the opposite, eventually you're going to lose.
[00:26:00] That's the way it works.
[00:26:01] That's it.
[00:26:02] You're on the right.
[00:26:03] I mean, you know what the history books, they'll get right.
[00:26:06] They do.
[00:26:07] They'll get it out every time.
[00:26:08] Sometimes, sometimes, it takes years.
[00:26:10] Sometimes it takes 10 years.
[00:26:11] Takes decades.
[00:26:12] But, the people that are doing the right things,
[00:26:14] the right reasons they win.
[00:26:16] Yeah.
[00:26:17] And I'd say, it's like, I tell guys all the time, which I still,
[00:26:20] the humanality in me still has to, I have to remind.
[00:26:25] Every time I talk to a guy, when I say,
[00:26:27] guy, I mean, man or woman doesn't matter.
[00:26:29] But every time I talk to him, I usually start the conversation out with,
[00:26:32] no matter what comes out of this hole underneath my nose,
[00:26:36] I need you to know I'm talking to myself too.
[00:26:38] Every time.
[00:26:40] Yeah, sure.
[00:26:41] And I say, it's, I say, you know, it's, it's none of our business.
[00:26:45] What the hell other people think of us.
[00:26:48] It is none of my business, what anyone else thinks of me.
[00:26:51] It should have very little impact on any decision I make every day,
[00:26:56] all day.
[00:26:57] None.
[00:26:58] It should have no impact.
[00:27:00] Yeah.
[00:27:01] Yeah.
[00:27:01] There's an interesting dichotomy in that.
[00:27:03] And I've talked about that on this podcast before.
[00:27:06] Because for me, right?
[00:27:08] I'm a guy that on the one hand, I, I exact same thing.
[00:27:12] Like, I don't care what people think.
[00:27:14] At the, at the other end of the spectrum,
[00:27:16] I absolutely care when I, whatever one of the things.
[00:27:19] And I'll draw you into this.
[00:27:21] When you were doing something,
[00:27:23] I mean, when I was doing something in the SEAL teams,
[00:27:26] I'd be thinking always like, hey,
[00:27:28] this is the right thing.
[00:27:29] What's this going to do to my reputation?
[00:27:31] What, what is, what is, you know,
[00:27:33] my buddy going to think of me if I cut the corner here.
[00:27:35] If I don't do the right thing.
[00:27:37] So my reputation the way I was looked at,
[00:27:40] I did feel that pressure all the time.
[00:27:42] And at the same time, if someone was like,
[00:27:44] oh, I don't like your clothes or whatever.
[00:27:46] I don't care at all.
[00:27:47] But things that I cared about and from people that I cared about
[00:27:51] and respected, I always had the attitude that like, yeah,
[00:27:55] you know what?
[00:27:56] I do care what they think.
[00:27:57] I do care what my, you know,
[00:27:58] I'll tell you what, man,
[00:27:59] one of the hardest things I had to do when I, when I wrote a book.
[00:28:02] And like, here you are.
[00:28:05] You're going to write a book.
[00:28:06] You know, you're going to write a book about yourself.
[00:28:08] It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's,
[00:28:10] arrogant, conceited thing to do no matter what you say in the book.
[00:28:14] It doesn't matter.
[00:28:15] It's, you're writing a book about about you.
[00:28:18] And, and, you know, lay for wrote the book with me same thing.
[00:28:21] The primary concern for me was like,
[00:28:24] what are my bros in the teams going to think of me, right?
[00:28:28] So, that's hard.
[00:28:31] Yeah, but there's, so there's a balance between those two.
[00:28:33] All right.
[00:28:34] Let's, let me, let me simplify it.
[00:28:38] The people that you're never going to meet.
[00:28:42] Yeah.
[00:28:44] So, I, I, I'll, I'll barny style it for you.
[00:28:48] Sometimes you need to dump the things down for this guy over here.
[00:28:51] Everyone at this table, what should be honest,
[00:28:54] you, you, you, the, the people you're never going to meet.
[00:28:57] them meet, they will have little to no impact on your life and your well-being, hence
[00:29:03] forth. It doesn't matter. They think they matter and that's okay, let them think what they
[00:29:07] want to think. But it doesn't matter. Yeah, now that's 100% right for sure. Because it's
[00:29:13] real easy, especially in the line of work that we do, that we do day to day, it's
[00:29:19] going to kill. That it's real easy for people to sit on their self-loathing asses behind their
[00:29:26] computer screen and past judgment. When we continue to grind onward in the face of tremendous
[00:29:32] loss, there's something we said for that. Yeah. I mean, that's that that that right there
[00:29:42] is a test of willing character. All its own. And the face of tremendous loss to say, okay.
[00:29:48] We have to step back. We have to reassess. We'll read address and we'll re-engage. What's
[00:29:55] the dress or our left right now limits but, but there's still ground to take and demons
[00:30:01] to slay. We have to move forward and burn our pain as fuel. Because that's what we do.
[00:30:07] Because if not us who. And so that all that started when I was standing on those yellow
[00:30:14] footprints because you had this and it's something that you would. People that know
[00:30:22] their stuff about the military agrees with one thing that can be said about the Marine
[00:30:26] Corps. No other branch. Regardless of the vision at here's tradition as much as the
[00:30:31] Marines. I mean, you asked me about about Chastian. I'm like, yeah, I mean, we told him
[00:30:37] good night every night for three months. The Marine Corps is absolutely absolutely correct.
[00:30:41] Yeah, the Marine Corps does not play around when it comes to tradition. And I think that there's
[00:30:45] a. The proofs in the pudding, right? I mean, since 1775, we've shown that we adhere to that.
[00:30:53] That's what makes us who we are. And that's why it's, I think that we have the success
[00:31:00] rate that we have regardless of being the bachelor children of the military. Not really
[00:31:05] known where that is and being poor. It we make it work. We we have since day one,
[00:31:13] who've been able to really define what improvised adaption overcome means. We've been
[00:31:18] able to live that and prove situations where outside looking in, that's going to, it's
[00:31:25] a total loss and come out with a W. Come out with a victory because of that very
[00:31:32] tradition that makes us who we are. Because when all those fellows, all you have is your
[00:31:38] gut. Oh, yeah. Now, when you're going through boot camp, though, there was was there any combat
[00:31:45] veterans there? I don't know you had one. Yeah. That's that's the testament to what you're
[00:31:51] talking about, right? Yeah. Is that even though no one been in combat in, well, they're
[00:31:56] probably even if you guys went to go for maybe there's a couple of guys that went to
[00:31:59] Grenade or something or Panama, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. But those are like ones, these and
[00:32:04] two, these. Right. And there's a chance that like none of your DIs had any combat experience.
[00:32:11] No, it's a great point. Yeah. And yet the lessons get passed on. You're head old, old
[00:32:15] Vietnam seal on here. And he was talking about when he came back from Vietnam. And he instituted
[00:32:21] this certain type of training at out in the desert. And I was like, I went through that training.
[00:32:27] And he's like, yeah, well, I put that together. Like the same, it's a point man course where
[00:32:32] they put we'd be trapped and they put targets to chew that. Yeah. That's stuff. I was like, yeah,
[00:32:35] he's like, yeah, I made that up. And I was like, oh, we still do it. We still do it. And so
[00:32:39] that tradition in the Marine Corps is like 200 years of things being passed down. Right.
[00:32:45] Solid. Yeah. I mean, it's something that, I mean, listen, even now, it makes me
[00:32:50] swell Friday. You know, like I understand why my grandmother reacted to me. She did
[00:32:54] it truly now. You know, and I've been able to live that. I've been blessed enough
[00:32:59] to live this journey that, I mean, yeah, comes with a lot of pain and a lot of
[00:33:07] hard lessons. You know, I mean, pains and available suffering is optional.
[00:33:12] It's something I've learned to. You know, I mean, it's no one's going to be harder on you than
[00:33:17] you. Every day you wake up. You should just be thinking to yourself, alright, today
[00:33:21] it's me versus me. You know, and no one wakes up and goes, I'm going to go out of my way
[00:33:27] to be average today. Like if you wake up and do that, you need to have a gut
[00:33:33] check. So, so you get, you get done with boot camp and then you go to
[00:33:38] Pendleton for for infantry. So I went up to Pendleton and, you know, it's was
[00:33:44] fun. You know, it sucks as in boot. I was first squat, squat, leader up until like a week before
[00:33:52] graduation. I think it's just because the senior general instructor didn't like me.
[00:33:56] I didn't like him either, though. So it was mutual. But, um, and there's one
[00:34:01] D.I.I.I. that I swear if I saw him on a street today, like I'd go find him right now.
[00:34:05] I'm not kidding at all. There was one dude that I got had PTSD as from that guy
[00:34:11] because he was going out of his way to try and mentally break me and it just never happened
[00:34:16] and what do you think, what do you, why was that? I think it was just it became this personal thing
[00:34:22] to him because he saw how other recruits would gravitate through he might have been like
[00:34:28] jealous of your, my downed bachelor, I don't know that at all. I don't make because he was
[00:34:32] ugly. He was not handsome like yourself. No, and obviously, I mean, money maker
[00:34:38] bro. But he was, um, but he was, you could tell the underneath at all, like he was,
[00:34:46] he was a great Marine. Yeah. Yeah. And he, you know, we lot a lot for that guy and
[00:34:52] for you other D.I.s. But, you know, it was just, I was thankful for our boot camp
[00:34:57] with the last name like Schick. You know, our guides last name was Schmitter.
[00:35:03] Yeah. That's nice. So for three months, hey, Schitter, we'll get your brother Schick.
[00:35:09] Three months, man. The only time I ever got emotional in boot camp was on the Parade deck
[00:35:14] on graduation day. When, um, handlers, one of the D.I.s. We had, he looked at me and he,
[00:35:21] he said, I got to tell you Schick and I heard the, and I got emotional. I
[00:35:27] got emotional. I did. I got my name back. I heard it back. But, um, he told me what he told me.
[00:35:33] And then my dad was there actually in, and walks by me on the Parade deck and tosses me a
[00:35:39] can of Copenhagen, won't cut. Didn't even look at me and he said, good job. Let's go eat.
[00:35:42] Like keeps walking. So it's okay. Still pissed. Like, get it.
[00:35:45] Dang. Yeah. Oh, blooded. Yeah, dude. But it was, you know, like I said,
[00:35:50] there, there for years, I didn't get it. And then, you know, go up to S.O.I.
[00:35:55] to Pinnleton and, um, I loved every member of that too.
[00:36:00] Here's what made it awesome for me. And this is something that, a lot of,
[00:36:04] the listeners will relate to is that. No matter how
[00:36:08] normally it got in boot or how
[00:36:10] normally it got in S.O.I. or how tired or hungry or just beat down,
[00:36:15] you were mentally, physically, emotionally. There, all you had to do is look to
[00:36:21] your left or right because guess what? So are they. Yeah. But you go to fall down.
[00:36:27] They're right there to pick you up. No matter how tired you're, who doesn't
[00:36:32] want that? Yeah. No. You can't buy it. You can't buy, you have to pay for
[00:36:38] that with sweat blood and tears, period. And I learned also early on,
[00:36:43] you're going to find your great leaders by following the blood
[00:36:47] and tomorrow. Literally and figuratively. It's not hard to find.
[00:36:52] Take off your first warm blinders, you'll find them. Follow the blood
[00:36:56] show, you'll find them. And I knew the ones that were and I knew the ones
[00:37:01] that were. And now, so does everyone else.
[00:37:05] It comes out in the wash, right? But we, you know, S.O.I. was awesome.
[00:37:10] I mean, I remember the first, the first weekend we had live
[00:37:14] in the first weekend. And what's the first thing that you think that they tell us
[00:37:19] young stupid Marines? And, and, and, and, and so I Pendleton.
[00:37:24] Are you getting your first liberty? The one place not to go.
[00:37:27] TJ? The one place. I mean, where do you think like a
[00:37:32] van full of us go? Yeah. Yeah. Do you take a Marine Corps van?
[00:37:35] No, but we should. That would have been impressive. You should.
[00:37:38] I can't, I still, to this day. You know, you left Friday
[00:37:42] evening. I, to this day. I can't be there. Let me back in the United
[00:37:46] States. Like I was, I was thrilled. Hard. And at the time, my brother,
[00:37:53] I don't know if this is a draw for the time, where he was actually,
[00:37:56] she was for some reason here in, and so I count on and she was like,
[00:38:00] hey, come, you know, see me. And I saw her somewhere by the
[00:38:04] border or whatever. I'm sure I smelled amazing. Yeah. And like the look on
[00:38:09] her face was like, how are you breathing right now? Because, you know,
[00:38:14] my idea was when they said turn to a liberty. Oh, yeah. Like that's exactly.
[00:38:18] I was, I was seeking liberty. Yeah. No matter, and I wanted to find
[00:38:22] what liberty look like. I've told this story before. I was, we pulled
[00:38:25] into port one time. I was on a ship. It was in the seal
[00:38:27] between. We pulled into port. And what we used to do, there's
[00:38:29] be a line to get off the ship. Like check and liberty cars. So when the
[00:38:33] ship pulled into port, we'd work out that taking hour, then we
[00:38:36] take a shower, and then the line would be gone. We go out. So we do that.
[00:38:40] We're, we've been in port for like an hour and 15 minutes. We go up to
[00:38:44] leave and they're carrying a Marine back on the ship. He's completely
[00:38:48] covered a few passed out drunk. He did that in like 48 minutes
[00:38:52] bro. That's impressive. That's getting after it. Just he
[00:38:57] would love those. Yeah. I listen. How do you not respect that?
[00:39:03] Yeah. I'm flouked. Because back in the day, I would have been like,
[00:39:07] I want to hang out with that here. But it's, I mean, that's just what,
[00:39:13] you know, that's what we do. That's what that is. What that is is
[00:39:17] 18 year old human being that's been in boot camp, S. O. I. Hasn't,
[00:39:22] has it let loose at all? And has become a man by the way, or at
[00:39:27] least has been told in some way that he's become a man.
[00:39:31] And that's where still has the boot stripe.
[00:39:36] You know, it's like, bro, you're not falling. You're right. Yeah.
[00:39:39] I get it though. I get it, man, because it's, you get there and it's like,
[00:39:43] okay, did boot did that. That was, you know,
[00:39:47] way more mental than physical. And it's, they're good at what they do.
[00:39:52] Yeah, for sure. They're good at what they do. I remember my grandmother
[00:39:55] telling me, just remember they have a job to do. They're doing their job.
[00:40:00] Now, one thing you go through is going to be personal. She was wrong.
[00:40:03] I don't know if we were with that one. Yeah.
[00:40:05] Grandma was wrong on that guy. Yeah.
[00:40:08] This is the same one. She's, she's a hard woman, man.
[00:40:11] She's, you know, she's, you always say, I suffer from what comes
[00:40:16] up comes out syndrome, because there is no filter.
[00:40:20] Yeah. I love that about her because it was,
[00:40:24] like, if she didn't like it, you knew. Yeah. And she would always say
[00:40:27] as far as I'm concerned, I have one grand baby talking about me right in front of
[00:40:31] my siblings. Her given F tank was bone dry.
[00:40:35] Yeah, give none. This is the same woman.
[00:40:39] At first time, she sees me in the hospital and I'm all being
[00:40:41] up and she says, well, baby, I guess God didn't want you in the double
[00:40:45] one. Have you? And I was like, you know what? I'll take it,
[00:40:49] me, me. Yeah. I mean, I had an old war, two marine,
[00:40:53] a plant Vegas for some event or something, maybe I was,
[00:40:57] I had to speak out or whatever.
[00:40:59] And he said, just remember, I'm in bad br us by the Nobrew.
[00:41:05] I'm a religious dancer. Right on.
[00:41:07] But, um, then it was, you know, boot was,
[00:41:11] was one of those things where you're part of the club, but not like,
[00:41:15] you know, you know, you're, when you're at S.O.I.
[00:41:17] how do they figure out what position you're going to be in a
[00:41:21] So, SOI, it's more of a number of things.
[00:41:26] I scored training as a O3 11 rifleman, right?
[00:41:29] And then, so I go through all the O3 11 rifleman training.
[00:41:31] And you get to, you get to finger most of weapons throughout the infantry.
[00:41:38] And then it was, I never understood the haunts, man.
[00:41:45] I never liked them.
[00:41:46] Always hated them.
[00:41:47] Because it was like, hey, let's go put on a stupid amount of weight.
[00:41:52] Let's go warm up walking around motor T through your four times.
[00:41:54] And look at all the vehicles that we're never going to use.
[00:41:58] Like always feel like we're screwing the taxpayer.
[00:42:00] You know, actually, I can honestly say I have never, ever in my life,
[00:42:04] done what you just said, which is warm up for a hump.
[00:42:07] I've never done that.
[00:42:08] I was always just like, hey, I'll warm up for the first eight hours of this deal.
[00:42:12] Yeah. Well, you know, so I'm going to clean your head.
[00:42:15] You're going to warm up walking around motor T. I like that.
[00:42:18] Take it into the next level.
[00:42:19] It's just, you know, more mind games, Milton Bradley, bro.
[00:42:23] But it was, it was the, the haunts that were like,
[00:42:26] I was just thinking of myself like, why don't we utilize all the stuff with motors in the motors?
[00:42:33] Like that you're walking around the motor train.
[00:42:35] So we're going to have the vehicles are that carry you.
[00:42:38] That's the one.
[00:42:39] Not enough.
[00:42:40] Yeah.
[00:42:41] But that was the, you know, that,
[00:42:43] you know, we finished S.O.I. and we did,
[00:42:47] you know, a lot of the training was, um,
[00:42:50] there were so many times where you would hear the guys,
[00:42:54] see, how we did this 10,000 times yesterday.
[00:42:58] And we're doing it another 10,000 times today.
[00:43:01] Because as you well know, we're all really good.
[00:43:04] No matter the caliber of warrior and the amount of training you have,
[00:43:08] we are all class A bitters.
[00:43:10] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:43:11] 100% you guys can play about everything.
[00:43:14] Everything.
[00:43:15] Everything.
[00:43:16] You know, then we go off to these foreign places and these
[00:43:18] not only situations and we get home and we're like,
[00:43:21] I want to go back to that on this set.
[00:43:24] I know why that is the way it is now.
[00:43:26] Yeah.
[00:43:27] I know now.
[00:43:28] That's just because it's crazy as it is.
[00:43:31] It's easier.
[00:43:33] Oh yeah, well, you got to have some fun with it.
[00:43:36] Yeah, well, you come back here and it's like,
[00:43:37] like, it's just fricking Jerry Springer and the Kardashians.
[00:43:42] Like, just, and it's like, when can we just utilize an ounce of
[00:43:48] condescense, you know, just please for the love of God and all the
[00:43:53] totally.
[00:43:55] Could we just call a dog a dog and a cat and a man be a man and a
[00:43:59] woman be a woman and not worry about everything in between and
[00:44:03] all the judgment that's going to follow being what God made you.
[00:44:06] I could we just focus on toughening up and teaching our children who will
[00:44:14] one day lead this country that believe it or not, the planet
[00:44:19] doesn't give a shit about your feelings.
[00:44:22] You're not always going to win.
[00:44:25] And mommy and daddy are not always going to be there
[00:44:28] deafening you with the rotor wash from their helicopter parenting.
[00:44:33] Like, that's going to go away.
[00:44:34] Yeah.
[00:44:35] Yeah.
[00:44:36] Jack.
[00:44:36] Because this world will punch you in the mouth and then laugh.
[00:44:42] What do we teach our kids?
[00:44:43] One of my son knows because I tell him it is my job as your parent
[00:44:50] to make sure you were prepared to take said punch and punch back.
[00:44:56] Because at some point it's going to happen and I would rather you lose
[00:45:00] whether you're in an MMA competition or baseball or whatever it is.
[00:45:06] I would rather you lose doing everything properly at a hundred percent
[00:45:11] than when not doing the fundamentals of the way you're supposed to and going 50%.
[00:45:18] And he looked at me like, well, dad, didn't know.
[00:45:21] Believe it or not, it's not always about winning.
[00:45:23] Because you're going to lose a lot.
[00:45:25] Yeah, it's life.
[00:45:27] Yeah.
[00:45:27] And I mean, it's it's something that's just start young.
[00:45:31] Start young letting them know that it's not all rainbows roses and lollipops.
[00:45:36] That there's no such thing as waking up on your unicorn ranch and picking what you're
[00:45:39] in a corner, you're going to ride on what rainbow to wherever you go.
[00:45:43] The dynamics is this.
[00:45:45] Can you do me favor?
[00:45:47] Can you just the last part about no unicorns?
[00:45:49] Can you not tell my daughter that?
[00:45:50] My eight-year-old daughter?
[00:45:52] Because she's like, yeah, she thinks that's his way to kind of.
[00:45:55] Just setting traps and it's going to happen.
[00:45:57] Imagine that.
[00:45:57] Yeah.
[00:46:00] Hey, so you're done with that.
[00:46:02] So I, yeah.
[00:46:03] Now, I'm now where do you go?
[00:46:04] Because you are you in the reserves at this point?
[00:46:06] Yeah, so I get done with that.
[00:46:08] So why and I go check in and I was late.
[00:46:12] No, that's good call.
[00:46:13] Checking in.
[00:46:14] Yeah, so I didn't.
[00:46:16] It was a communication breakdown, right?
[00:46:18] Sure.
[00:46:19] So I didn't.
[00:46:20] What in my fault?
[00:46:21] No, nothing's, you know, this proof just don't know, sir.
[00:46:23] But it was a situation that the guy checked in with was,
[00:46:27] where were you checking in?
[00:46:28] What were you checking into?
[00:46:30] To my unit and it was in Basea.
[00:46:32] Okay.
[00:46:33] Also known as Bosa.
[00:46:34] Okay.
[00:46:34] So I was supposed to check in with the do that I was in boot,
[00:46:38] or RSOI with.
[00:46:40] I can't remember what to boot together, not, but he goes and checks in.
[00:46:45] I thought Belie was a Friday.
[00:46:46] And so he goes checks on Friday, the first order,
[00:46:49] and then he calls me as like Jake.
[00:46:52] First order, where the hell you are?
[00:46:55] I was like dude, I thought you're, he's like no bro.
[00:47:01] He won't see like now.
[00:47:03] So I'm there Monday morning first thing.
[00:47:07] And he looks at me and was like,
[00:47:09] well, how are you, double-done?
[00:47:12] I was like, sorry for shard,
[00:47:15] you know, so I didn't tell him it and he was like,
[00:47:18] I see you keeper.
[00:47:21] I was like, there's no easy way out of this.
[00:47:24] You know, I look around his office,
[00:47:26] and all of his awards and the accolades.
[00:47:28] And I'm just like, I just asked him like,
[00:47:32] do you, can we just go to the gym and you beat shard?
[00:47:36] You just get this over with.
[00:47:37] And I saw things where,
[00:47:40] where when your dad asked you like,
[00:47:42] no, do you want to be grounded for a month?
[00:47:44] Or do you want the belt?
[00:47:46] 10 times out of 10, I'm like, you know what,
[00:47:49] you'll get the belt for you?
[00:47:50] Because that's easier, right?
[00:47:53] Let's just get through the temporary pain
[00:47:56] and then move forward.
[00:47:58] And I was the same with first order,
[00:47:59] which I think in the beginning he liked, you know?
[00:48:02] It's a little, it may be beginning.
[00:48:04] Yeah, yeah, because it was,
[00:48:06] I developed a bit of repetition over time,
[00:48:08] but it was again, liberty, liberty.
[00:48:12] But he was a little that I know
[00:48:14] that I was checking in with now,
[00:48:18] sergeant major, the Marine Corps.
[00:48:21] Oh, damn.
[00:48:23] And I didn't, I had, of course, you know,
[00:48:25] you can't put it in the future, shout out of that.
[00:48:27] And so it was, but he was the one, one of the guys,
[00:48:30] who was, he's just a Marineman.
[00:48:32] He's like, you know, it's like he fell off a poster,
[00:48:36] and there he was, you know, like three red stripe,
[00:48:40] make Matt black belt, and just, I mean, drill master,
[00:48:44] all of you name it, and he did it.
[00:48:47] And so he, we got pretty tight and, you know,
[00:48:54] he displunged me when he had to, but it was,
[00:48:56] one of those things were at the time, my unit,
[00:48:58] when I checked in was actually in Gitmo.
[00:49:01] And they were doing base curdy and all that stuff.
[00:49:04] And then they, he tells me, hey,
[00:49:07] stay close to your phone, you're gonna go meet up
[00:49:12] with your unit in Gitmo.
[00:49:13] Oh my god, I got a Roger that first time.
[00:49:14] I got to go.
[00:49:15] We, we in 2002, yeah.
[00:49:16] This is, yeah, so this is,
[00:49:20] ex-Ausem boot during
[00:49:23] Marine Corps birthday and Christmas.
[00:49:26] Yeah, and so this was, there's flashback to being
[00:49:32] in boot camp for Marine Corps birthday and Christmas.
[00:49:35] Marine Corps birthday, I don't know they still do it.
[00:49:37] I'm sure they do it.
[00:49:38] Oh yeah.
[00:49:39] But they give you stay contripped and like cake in the jowl.
[00:49:41] And so we got back to the barracks and that one dea was telling you about
[00:49:47] who likes pretty gut here's this, because he's, he'll know exactly what I am.
[00:49:51] Come find me, bro.
[00:49:52] And, uh, but we line up, we get online in the squad bay,
[00:49:57] and he makes us, we just finish this epic mill.
[00:50:00] We had more than like a minute and a half to eat.
[00:50:04] That's a sit there for a good five or six minutes,
[00:50:08] which is an eternity at the time.
[00:50:11] We get back online, start pounding canteens,
[00:50:13] hold them up your overhead, run back to the head,
[00:50:16] refill them, get back online, pound the canteens,
[00:50:20] hold them over your head empty, do it again and again and again.
[00:50:25] And he said, we're doing this until every one of you pukes up that mill that you don't deserve.
[00:50:30] Yeah, and so, and we did, and then the first, of course.
[00:50:37] Yeah, chain reaction, the first few weeks and then the starts.
[00:50:42] Like with me, I would rather seriously be
[00:50:47] have like cruel and unusual punishment done to me than pukes.
[00:50:51] So I'm fighting it like, like a moe, like I'm fighting it hard.
[00:50:56] And then the company CO walks in the back door and it was hilarious because
[00:51:03] that said the eye like goes white like, oh, yeah, because he's hazing.
[00:51:08] Yeah, and that's when daddy walks in and sees it,
[00:51:12] just walk by all of us and he's like he had to go back behind the racks
[00:51:17] because he didn't want to get pukes.
[00:51:20] That's the guy's just puking on the deck right in the mill.
[00:51:23] Oh, yeah, that was all. Oh, yeah, because we were just going to deck to all it after the fact
[00:51:27] anyway. But then that was that was, that was I'm sorry.
[00:51:33] We're going to break the. Yeah. So then Chris rolls around, same DIY.
[00:51:38] And it's Chris was Eve. We do our lights out, nitro chesty wherever you are. He opens the door.
[00:51:44] We'll just say it was like Rudolph the Red Nostraine deer.
[00:51:47] Everyone knows it's song, right? So he opens the door the duty hut and all you hear is
[00:51:52] Rudolph the Red. Bam, the door slam.
[00:51:56] You just hear him go, that's all you get bitches.
[00:51:59] So you hear a lot of these one liners that I got, I stayed in trouble in the Marine Corps for laughing.
[00:52:05] When you're not supposed to lie, like, I have to laugh. It's coming. I can't hold it.
[00:52:10] I immediately lose it. But one of the guys who was already in the targets of the
[00:52:15] D.I started laughing and it was, I think he was gone like a Dan Affleyer. Like it was, yeah.
[00:52:21] But it's just some of these one liners, man. It's like you hear him. It's like where do the
[00:52:25] dudes come up with this? Yeah. But then you see him yelling at trees on the on the base and
[00:52:29] they're like, oh, like they're graded on yelling at a tree. Yeah. Yeah. Who wakes up like I want to do that.
[00:52:36] One wouldn't me. But I checked in the dudes weren't getting me. And I stayed by my phone.
[00:52:42] Phone never rang. So I got, I was, I locked out. So what were you doing in the civilian?
[00:52:47] So were you living as a soldier? So I started doing drill one weekend a month or whatever. I started
[00:52:51] to go like, yeah, I mean, and I was training and getting ready because I knew we were going to go.
[00:52:55] I wreck our Afghanistan just didn't know what to want. You know, it was being in the line,
[00:52:59] you know, you knew you were going to go. And so it was the guys got home and we started training.
[00:53:06] And I'm in school, which went about like high school went and minus the football.
[00:53:14] And then they're on their student. So here it was funny because I realized early on, like I can do this.
[00:53:27] I can do this school, though. The only downfall to that was, is it was like, okay, I've been after this
[00:53:35] for a year. I got my approved myself. I can do this. I don't need to see it through, but it's,
[00:53:41] now I'm just wasting my time. You know, there's a lot of beer to drink. And, you know, typical mindset,
[00:53:49] but my unit gets home and I go and meet the guys, which is like every other, you show up to the
[00:53:57] first time. It's not going to do all the first time. Like you're immediately being sized up. And it's like,
[00:54:04] but I was one of those guys who, like, I was not, I just wasn't going to take a shit. And so it
[00:54:10] went well for me because I was able to use dumb streets in humor to kind of get in with the,
[00:54:19] with the guys who aren't me. And, but they also knew that I loved it. I loved what I did. And so the
[00:54:25] guys get back. And this one guy who's a freaking mortarman, go figure. And he's like, hey,
[00:54:31] shit, you're a big dude. You should be a gunner. You're going to be a gunner. What do you think about
[00:54:35] being a gunner? Well, it doesn't matter. You're going to be a gunner. So it's like, all right, whatever,
[00:54:40] so I'm like 31. Okay, it'll be a gunner. And then we did our first pump with that system.
[00:54:46] Like that. And I was like, I'm going to beat that dude with an inch of his life because I knew
[00:54:52] I could. And I was like, that son of a bitch should not tell me that it came with like a tripod
[00:54:58] and then it was like, oh, it's sucked. But it was, you know, I mean, earning a stripes, you know.
[00:55:06] But it was one of those things where we were just waiting. But we were a tight unit. We were a tight
[00:55:10] night group. And I think I think that probably had a lot to do with us knowing that it's matter time.
[00:55:17] Right. Right. And most of us weren't prior combat guys. We were a young unit. And it was interesting,
[00:55:27] man, because it was, it was a, it was an eclectic group. And a group, a group from all walks of life,
[00:55:33] which is something that always really admired about the military regardless of what branch or
[00:55:38] special, whatever is that you are forced to communicate and to adapt with other people.
[00:55:45] Because if you don't, you're, you're screwed. Yeah. And that's something that I always appreciated.
[00:55:52] And at the same time, it wore me the hell out because there was some guy, you know, there's some guys
[00:55:57] that you're just like, you know, if I never saw that guy again, it'd be too soon.
[00:56:03] And it's usually just because, you know, it's, well, he's after explained to civilians that I'm
[00:56:10] working with because a lot of people have the impression of civilians that, you know,
[00:56:14] the civilians have the impression that everyone in the military is just like a machine that
[00:56:17] just is going to do it their toll. And if you're the sergeant, the court is going to say,
[00:56:20] this is even, it's like, hmm, not currently doesn't work like that. Like, it'll work like that for a
[00:56:24] little while and work for, you know, little while, but over time, those, those, those young guys
[00:56:30] will, or the junior people, if you're not leading them correctly, you're not going to get things down.
[00:56:34] Oh, you can turn and you should show real quick real quick, real quick because you're also
[00:56:40] dealing with a bunch of dudes that feel like that, that are of the mindset, I can take on this
[00:56:46] world of one hand tied behind my back by myself. You're dealing with that, you know, exactly what
[00:56:52] I'm talking about, those, yeah, I'll for personality are abundant. Yeah, yeah. And then you, you mix in a
[00:56:58] lot of testosterone and stupidity and you have a very dangerous situation.
[00:57:03] Low IQ high T count. We like it. That's basically what it is. It is, but um, now did you guys,
[00:57:11] did you guys do like to, so you're doing one week in a month of drill and then you do
[00:57:16] two weeks in a summer time, but then in what 2003, you guys could call up a 2004.
[00:57:22] I think we got, we got the call in 103. I believe if I'm not mistaken,
[00:57:28] I've been blown up since then and hit in the head a lot. So I don't know, I think we got the call
[00:57:32] in 103 saying that we were going to be called, the certain time and it gave you like a warning order,
[00:57:38] like, okay, it's common pretty much. And then they said, okay, you're going to go do your work
[00:57:42] up in 29 palms. So we, you know, we get to 29 palms and I was like, I remember, man,
[00:57:52] getting off that burden, I was just like, this place sucks. I thought you were going to have
[00:57:59] something really profound to say. No, and you said it to 29 palms, this place sucks. It was,
[00:58:06] I was like, why? Why do, of course the Marines would have this base? Of course. It made total sense.
[00:58:16] You know, it was just like let the bitching begin. It was a bundle, bro. It was a bundle.
[00:58:24] Because unless you had money to go to Palm Springs, I'll see it 29 stops. Right out the get some.
[00:58:30] And we are inevitably going to be fighting. This is the amazing thing. This is the amazing thing is
[00:58:34] I got asked, I got asked on the podcast, you know, how do I, you know, my, I checked into a
[00:58:40] battalion or I think it got a company commander that Murau's not good. How do we get them real good?
[00:58:45] Look, do hard things. You want to improve them, or I'll do hard things. And one of the things,
[00:58:50] like, what are you going to do at 29 stumps? What are you going to do there? Well,
[00:58:53] you're going to hang out with each other. That's what you're going to do. It's going to suck.
[00:58:56] You're going to feel, you're going to sweat. It's going to be hot. And you're going to do hard things.
[00:58:59] And you're going to become titers and unit. That's what happens. Yeah, imagine that. Yeah, imagine that.
[00:59:03] Weird. Weird. It's just weird how that works. Now, who is running the training?
[00:59:10] The ever training cadre out there? So we, uh,
[00:59:15] remember it was, um, or you guys training yourselves or you're, is your officer leading the training
[00:59:22] on the journey sergeant? Yeah, I mean, we had gunny, there was kind of both, right? We had
[00:59:28] like we would go to Mount Town or wherever we would have some mountain structures out there and got it.
[00:59:32] But it wasn't because I mean, a lot of guys were forward to Floyd. Yeah. He were gone. And
[00:59:41] but we, we literally, we trained, we trained hard. I mean, it was, you talk about
[00:59:50] training for the sake of muscle memory. Yeah. We, it was, it was,
[00:59:54] Narlie, what we did. And it was, uh, like you said, we did a lot of hard things through. And then we only
[01:00:01] got tighter and tighter and tighter as a unit. And, but we, it was, uh, I mean, I remember the first time
[01:00:08] we went out to do our first training evolution out of American minds. And we, we humped out there
[01:00:16] of course because you know, don't use the vehicles. And, uh, I remember we staged, we staged our gear.
[01:00:24] And my Patoons are our drops of back. And there's like a, like a little rattle-synced in by
[01:00:29] where you dropped this pack. And so we had to go move. And then he goes to put his back on to move.
[01:00:34] And there's a black scorpion on his back. And I was like, this is awesome. Like this is,
[01:00:41] and then we had a ton of bees that were go after the, the, the water buffalo,
[01:00:47] the trailer, the bigger water trailers. And it was like, we can't, yeah. It's just,
[01:00:53] yeah. It's an evitable Marine Corps shit. Like it's, the, the suck factor is going to be
[01:01:01] peg the entire time. Yeah. And it was, it's, it's like this guy was just looking down on this man.
[01:01:07] Like, hey, you're going to earn it. Yeah. One day I'm going to have this team guy buddy on mine
[01:01:14] on, he's got a lot of rattle snakes and worries from the desert because rattle snakes are very
[01:01:19] amusing. You know, once you start catching them and putting on people's vehicles and putting them in
[01:01:24] there, they're backpacks. Sure. Just stuff like that. Like yeah. That's cool. I'm telling you right now.
[01:01:29] That's good stuff for someone else. I'm not kidding. Yeah. No, it's, it's, you know, we have to see someone
[01:01:35] jump though. Yeah. It does. But hey, you know, they don't know that the fangs have been removed.
[01:01:40] Rip the fangs out. I want to let them in. That's me how much I care.
[01:01:43] You can completely miss the point. It's the principal. Yeah. Snake season. Get some. Dude,
[01:01:54] it was, some of the best. The dark greens did, did, do not like the, the little creatures in the
[01:02:04] creepy crawallies. And seeing some of the reactions to some of the dark greens was, what's the dark
[01:02:11] greens? They're, they're, to be politically correct. They're African American.
[01:02:18] Dark green greens. Got you. Com dark greens. And they know. And they, they're going to
[01:02:22] comp, so it's accepted. Right. It doesn't bother them. Do green. They don't write their
[01:02:26] congressmen. It's, it's unbelievable the way that works. So that, there, it's, you know, I got to
[01:02:33] see why I just spoke with this, uh, dill couple days ago. That was yesterday. And one of them
[01:02:40] rings, I served real zir, his dark green. And, uh, man, it was, it was, it was,
[01:02:46] prior to seeing him in a decade. It didn't miss a beat. It was, it was like,
[01:02:52] seriously didn't miss a beat. And I'm like, man, that was, I just can't imagine. Imagine if
[01:02:58] mankind could have a taste to that. Just a taste. It would be, imagine how much better
[01:03:04] this spin and ball chaos would be. But it's, it was awesome. It was just good to see him and,
[01:03:12] and to see the way that he changed. You just see the maturity over time, you know, of, of, of
[01:03:18] how life can, it, it authors your course and authors your mindset because of the things you experience
[01:03:25] and you go through and, and the how many times you're taught how human you are, you know,
[01:03:31] it was, it was, it was cool. It was good for the soul, you know, and, uh, yeah, it was just cool to
[01:03:36] see him and be able to embrace that dude. I mean, I, that's my family. That is, I don't give
[01:03:41] a shit what color his skin is. That dude's my blood. And that's just the way it is. It's way it always
[01:03:47] will be. But we, um, and he used to, he used to know the shit out of me. Like I used to thought
[01:03:55] of saying like his, his mouth is never going to shut. Like one of these days, man, one of these days.
[01:04:04] And, uh, but it was so epic because it was like, that's my bro, you know, and it was, it was just awesome.
[01:04:10] Man, it just goes to show you like, we get these little reminders in life. If, if you
[01:04:17] just shut your mouth and listen, you get these little reminders of how worth it. Everything's been
[01:04:24] and what purpose everything is served. And it was cool to see that I got one of those.
[01:04:29] You know, and it gives me, it was a little fuel for the soul to, to keep going. But, um, I remember
[01:04:37] this, our, our first loss was in, uh, March Air Force Base, who we were doing house house fighting
[01:04:44] in the band in housing unit in March Air Force Base. And it was, um, it was a training loss because
[01:04:52] of a guy that they were practicing J-turns and a Humvee. And, uh, there's a young kid, you, you
[01:05:00] wouldn't our company. He was a different company, um, same Italian. And the Humvee flipped.
[01:05:08] And he was, there's the inertia of the Humvee flip and he couldn't get out of the turret.
[01:05:12] And, uh, it was up armoured. And so when it flips, it obviously kills the gunner.
[01:05:19] There's no way he's going to get out. And so, mandatory 24 hours sake stand down
[01:05:24] to take our phones and all that stuff. And, you know, hey, don't write home, don't call anyone.
[01:05:29] This is, you know, we got a little bite by the SOP. That was, uh, uh, you know, that was, uh,
[01:05:38] one of, like, and then I opening Dillman. That was like, okay, this is the real Dill. Like, this,
[01:05:45] we're not, this is a life-and-dev game we're playing. And I'll never forget when we got back
[01:05:51] to 20 on bombs, which I don't remember for a couple days later, three days later, day later, or whatever.
[01:05:56] But we wake up and we go to formation. And we walk out to go to formation and, um,
[01:06:01] and, um, then everywhere you look, you saw a piece of computer paper, just a regular piece of paper,
[01:06:08] turn horizontally, they were taped all over the place. Everywhere you looked,
[01:06:13] and all he said on him was complacency kills. Every where you looked, you saw that complacency
[01:06:18] kills. And gunning it just printed out all these papers. And that, to this day, that sticks with me.
[01:06:26] And I think about it, not every all the time, because we all get complacent.
[01:06:35] But it could not be more true, whether it's literal, you know, or figuratively speaking, I mean,
[01:06:40] and of course, most of our lives nowadays, you get complacent. Yeah, you might not die,
[01:06:47] but something can be irreversibly damaged. Well, yeah, I mean, I talk about that all the time,
[01:06:52] they're just just the complacency, even the complacency on the little things in life.
[01:06:56] That's just put you down the wrong path. Well, that's just the way it is. That's the reality.
[01:07:00] Hey, man, and let me tell you that, um, I could be referred to as Captain complacency when it comes to that.
[01:07:08] I'll be the first to tell you that I'm much more centered than saying,
[01:07:12] I always say, you know, that God gave you the only son to suffer and down across as
[01:07:19] any of those are going to be guys like me. The only differences I'm going to admit it,
[01:07:25] you know, I'm going to own my flawedness. And I say all the time that I've stood with everything from
[01:07:31] leaders of mankind, the presidents to the most savage individuals you'll ever meet and everything in
[01:07:36] between the one common denominator is everyone I'm equally fundamentally flawed.
[01:07:42] Every single one. Yeah, no doubt about that. They just have different clothes on.
[01:07:45] That's it. That's what I'm saying, man, if we could stop, if we could just stop with this political
[01:07:52] correctness and this false manufactured protection, we could get, I always say, if we, if you
[01:08:03] took out self-interest and self-gain and the fight for the greater good, imagine where we would be right now.
[01:08:09] Imagine where we would be, because we would be leaves and bounds ahead of where we are.
[01:08:16] We would be light years ahead of where we are. If there was nothing to begin to help someone
[01:08:22] that you've never met and that can never repay you, you just do it. Because we've been so
[01:08:29] conditioned to be selfish. And it's unfortunate because it's what I love about this guy,
[01:08:36] as a, for all it says, it purves is the godfather of the Marine Corps. People can say,
[01:08:43] he may have been arrogant or pompous or whatever. But I guarantee he was the last one to eat.
[01:08:49] Yeah, I mean, he was definitely the last one to eat. And actually that books are great book and
[01:08:54] there's a, there's a, there's a, there's a big difference between his reputation of what people
[01:08:59] thought about him that never worked with him. People that worked with him, the, the marines that
[01:09:04] worked with him that served with him, that he would go around their foxholes at night in negative
[01:09:08] 25 degree weather and ask guys if they're okay and give him a shot of whiskey. I mean, he, they
[01:09:16] loved him because he cared about those, be cared about them. That's the, the image, as a matter
[01:09:21] fact, like he had this driver that was with him for a long time. Jones was his last name. And
[01:09:26] Jones, people would come up and say, how did you stay with Chester Polar for so long? Didn't he
[01:09:31] chew you out and demote you and he's like, no, the guy never yelled at me ever. That's, that's the
[01:09:36] difference. That's the difference between, that's the dichotomy between what this image was and what he
[01:09:42] was really like. The people who he would, the reason he had a reputation for being, you know, super
[01:09:50] I guess I guess direct with people was the way he went up the chain of command. When he would tell
[01:09:55] an admiral out on a ship, like you better put those bombs when we need him right now or, you know,
[01:09:59] he'll, I'll up the chain of command or he'd come back to America and say, hey, the binoculars that
[01:10:04] you're building suck and they, and they steam up and we can't see anything. What's wrong with you?
[01:10:09] So that's where he got the reputation. But down the chain of command, he, he was not like that. There's
[01:10:14] another great story in there that I cover on the podcast where he catches a guy sleeping and
[01:10:18] watch that are training. And he wakes the guy, guy up and he's the batiling commander. He wakes the guy
[01:10:22] up and says, hey, what are you doing sleeping? What if your captain would have caught you? He would have,
[01:10:27] he would have had me come and caught Marshal you. He'd been in the disaster. He got to stay wake old man.
[01:10:31] That's his nickname for everyone was old man. But that's the difference is he cared, he cared so
[01:10:36] much about his men. And, and you know, that's the, that's the incredibly hard part that we were
[01:10:41] talking about earlier is like when he's when his son comes home from Vietnam and, you know,
[01:10:49] he's like, his heart is broken. It's broken and he can't even speak and he can't he's just
[01:10:54] convulsing with tears. And it's because, you know, he loved his son, but his son was represented
[01:11:00] of a very marine and he said that. You know, he said that, it was like that, that the closing that
[01:11:06] book, you know, he tells his wife, his wife says, what do you want to do now that it's all over?
[01:11:10] And he's like, I want to see the face of every marine I have a server with. Dude, you know,
[01:11:15] I mean, that right there. For anyone who's listening to this and questioning,
[01:11:22] what is my purpose? Why am I alive? Why am I here? What's the point?
[01:11:30] Two things. And it's the same for every individual no matter what country no matter what little
[01:11:36] village doesn't matter. We all have our here to do two things. Love and be loved.
[01:11:46] That's it. Everything else is filler. Love and be loved.
[01:11:50] That's it. It's hard to shit because we make it hard to shit. That's it.
[01:12:00] When he saw his son that all came crashing down on him, that's it. It was reality.
[01:12:09] It was one of those like in rather it was in Lewis' situation where
[01:12:15] when you're severely wounded or you lose someone that you loved tremendously.
[01:12:22] I mean with reckless abandonment, you love all the way. And if you're of the right
[01:12:30] warrior mindset or first responder law enforcement, you've been around that and you're the real
[01:12:35] deal. You're probably just like me or you're you're incapable of loving halfway. They're incapable
[01:12:44] of it because if we did that, we're taking away from that in which we're supposed to be true to
[01:12:54] in the honor. And that's the point. You don't get a piece of humble pie. You and hell the factory.
[01:13:02] All that wants. And that's just what it is. And some guys don't come out of that.
[01:13:09] You know, and if I if I wouldn't surrounded by people that were better than me
[01:13:16] and that refused to love me to death, I would be loose. And far be it for me to sit here and
[01:13:25] look at you and say, not an option. It's not an option. Because one thing I've learned in this fight
[01:13:33] is fight of mental health and of this floating noodle in between our ears. Is that no one gets a
[01:13:40] pass? Nobody gets a pass. I don't care who you are, what you've been through, what you know,
[01:13:48] who you know, you don't get a pass. And I've learned that the hard way from having to bury friends
[01:13:56] over and over and over and over and to talk myself out of you're not worth it. It would be easier
[01:14:09] for them if you weren't here. And letting the demons get the better of me. Because it's a constant
[01:14:17] dance. Like when people say, oh, well, you know, Jake, you're practically a lot of pressure off.
[01:14:22] You just work on your work and in life balance. Because it's, you're just going to find your balance.
[01:14:31] Okay, here's some news. There is no balance. It's a constant dance.
[01:14:37] You're constantly trying to figure it out. It's just like our enemies and our rack up,
[01:14:43] guys, they're like, it's, we change our taxes, they change theirs. We change ours, they change theirs.
[01:14:47] We change ours. It's a constant dance. It's never finite. Right? Nothing is.
[01:14:55] That's one of the things that makes life worth living. I don't want to wake up tomorrow and know
[01:15:00] what tomorrow has in store for me. What's the point? I just want to wake up and love and be loved.
[01:15:09] All the way, not halfway. Be hotter, be cold. If you're lukewarm, get the hell out of my foxhole.
[01:15:16] I don't want to fight with you. Let's talk about when you went on deployment now.
[01:15:26] So it's 2004 is when you deploy like the summer of 2004? Yeah. And where do you guys deploy to?
[01:15:36] So we are primary. It was the SUNY triangle of our rack. Beautiful, beautiful place.
[01:15:44] Yeah. We landed in Kuwait. We only in Kuwait. I think they call it camp.
[01:15:48] Victory may be. I can't remember the name of it. It was before the pizza hots and subways and all that.
[01:15:53] I know that for a fact. But we landed in Kuwait. We're only there for a couple days.
[01:16:02] We get on the burden on the fricates. This was on the on the tarmac in Kuwait getting ready to flow
[01:16:08] our outside. And I think if I'm not mistaken, I think we were on the first three, see one,
[01:16:19] 30s we got on. We had to get off of because they weren't mechanically sound or whatever.
[01:16:28] Or just gunny just follow. Who knows? But we had to get off of minute one gunny.
[01:16:33] Because I remember the fourth one and we're all sweating. Our asses off. It's miserable. Yeah.
[01:16:40] It's miserable. And I remember the fourth one. I don't know if it was the crew chief,
[01:16:46] the loadmaster, whoever, but gunny took someone somewhere and I'm pretty sure
[01:16:52] it was a conversation pretty much like if this burden didn't take off, you're not going to go home.
[01:16:58] A life anyway. Because it sucked. We have everything on. We're from Marine. So we're geared out.
[01:17:11] And it's was stuff we'll never use. Never. But it was on the gear list. Yeah, got to have it.
[01:17:19] So we, but we ended up landed in the outside and I remember when we got off the burden, I was
[01:17:24] so I thought to myself, man, 20 and I'm pausing that bad. Yeah. And I was out of do that
[01:17:35] two year. I miss it already. And so we get off and we go to our tent where we're sleeping with our
[01:17:46] bunk beds. And we start the brief the next day. And I remember we were... So is that where you
[01:17:56] guys were going to be working out of? Where you guys are actually going to be camp at station to add
[01:18:00] alasad primarily? Yeah, but I mean, rarely got to stay on the ground. That's where your
[01:18:06] headquarters were. Yeah, we're batiny. Okay. So we start the 40-hour brief.
[01:18:13] We're in the middle of that and Captain walks in. We're one of the hangers.
[01:18:23] And you know, look on his face that you know, someone good, obviously. And it was because
[01:18:29] during the lefcee rice seat of the unit we were placing got hit. And they lost. I don't want
[01:18:36] to miss quoted, but one of the guys I was just with this past week and was there.
[01:18:42] And that unit, we were placed two seven. And it was they had lost like an XO
[01:18:49] first sergeant. Like it was bad. That's from one that was an ID strike.
[01:18:54] It was ID with that direction. It was just a bad situation.
[01:19:01] Yeah. After action. So they took fire and it was not like it wasn't isolated of that.
[01:19:07] They hit ID goes and then they fight with RPGs. Gotcha. It was a
[01:19:13] gnarly situation. They shouldn't have been in because it happened in a place that was
[01:19:18] friendly. And at the time actually when we were over there, I don't even, I think we still
[01:19:26] call them roadside bomb. I don't even think we call them Ideja. I don't think we utilized that terminology.
[01:19:30] Yeah. If I'm not mistaken, again, I could be wrong what's happened before. But we, so we hear this.
[01:19:38] And it, I mean, it's just like really cool. Yeah, that's not good. That stuff's not supposed to happen.
[01:19:45] And so that was another big awakening moment, right? And but we get ready to leave.
[01:19:54] And at this time, I'm a machine gun team leader. A little that I know I'd become leader
[01:20:03] of the react team. Same as QRF, quick reaction force. So we, we have like the 16th
[01:20:10] vehicle convoy or something. Which would be a huge no-no nowadays. And I remember the
[01:20:18] server walk behind. It was like, hey, shit, we need someone to man that peg on the lead vehicle.
[01:20:22] And we're going to get behind the 240 on the lead vehicle. And I was like, who's going to jump on that pick?
[01:20:28] And we were just in brief hearing about Godwires. They put Godwires across the road, trying to
[01:20:34] to capitate gunners. And I left my first deployment in, I want to say, April or May of 2004. So
[01:20:46] this is, I mean, right. Yeah. Yeah. And I was just trying to think if we were using the term ID and I'm
[01:20:51] almost positive, we work. Because I remember, I remember, but you guys are special. Yeah, I know
[01:20:57] I know, but I was trying to think I remember like, I'm actually envisioning a slide. We caught an ID
[01:21:02] maker. And we had all this like, yeah, wires. And he had like clocks, like multiple clocks from a
[01:21:11] from like a timers, like kitchen timers. And he's we had wires, kitchen timers, all this stuff.
[01:21:20] And they're like, hey, this guy you caught, he's an innocent guy. And I was like, well, no. And they
[01:21:24] say, well, no, he's innocent. What evidence do you have? And I brought these pictures and I'm like,
[01:21:28] look at the stuff that we took off this target. It's all ID stuff. And they were like, oh, okay. But it was
[01:21:33] the first, it was kind of first starting to assemble the idea that people were building these
[01:21:38] improvised explosive devices. I think we were using it, but you're right, might not have spread
[01:21:42] the Marine Corps yet at this point. We're kind of slow. But we're deadly. I mean, I don't know,
[01:21:48] we might have. It was a long time ago. That's irrelevant. But because roadside bombs, that wasn't good enough.
[01:21:54] Yeah. So it was called an ID. Well, if it's not, if you don't have a don't bring them, don't
[01:21:58] turn it up. Don't turn it up. But we, so we, but we're out there. We have our convoy. And
[01:22:07] so I asked the guys, okay, who's going to go man that pig is crickets. I was like, oh, very well.
[01:22:15] Oh, I got it. I looked out and was like, hey, sir, I got it. I'm going to do it. Then of course. I
[01:22:20] know, oh, okay. No, I'm like, no, a few, a few, a few, a few, a few. When I die, yeah, just remember what
[01:22:29] your letter needs to say. Because you were of a JJ. And let's see, a lot more colorful,
[01:22:37] good. But I jumped up there, man. And it was, look, the pocket factor, pegged. You know,
[01:22:45] pegged. Because I'm like, how do you see a God wire? I can you see the God wire? It is the sun.
[01:22:50] How to be hit in a certain way. Like, what is, what am I looking for? You know, you had, do you have
[01:22:55] armored homies? No, most of them weren't. Yeah. And, you know, the most of them were two to our soft
[01:23:01] thoughts. Yeah, I get something like that. We had the turret was the turret. Just weird. Like six
[01:23:05] on. And the vehicles of six. That's better. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's
[01:23:08] because we're comfortable. I mean, I'd rather be in that than a Humvee if I'm in the lead vehicle.
[01:23:12] I'd rather be in a hair year. But it was, but we, that's why you signed up for an infantry
[01:23:20] get saw. That's right. And we hated, and, you know, the pilots, it was like they were bunching
[01:23:25] pre-medums. And we would see him come in and land and go to their air condition cans. And then
[01:23:32] we're like, you know, they're eating steak and shrimp. You know, they're, they're all comfortable
[01:23:37] in there. And they're swan they're sleep number bed. So, you know, you make all this stuff up in your head.
[01:23:46] Dude, I'll tell you what, you made that up in your head. We had a World War II pilot on here.
[01:23:50] Jim Kunkl. And he was literally saying, like, hey, the, the war in Europe for me, he was a P38 pilot.
[01:23:57] He's like, my mission's working. It like, 45 minutes. He's like, they're almost back in on the
[01:24:02] back in base. Now, of course, those 45 minutes were pretty sketchy. You ended up getting shot down.
[01:24:06] But, you know, a lot of the missions that he did is exactly what you said. That's the reality of
[01:24:10] being a pilot. That's the reality of it. And it's, you know, and then, but until you need them,
[01:24:18] oh, God, yeah. Well, yeah, of course. And then the first time that happened, you're like, oh,
[01:24:22] I can't hook you. Yeah, we need those guys. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But it's interesting because it's a,
[01:24:27] there's a line guy. You know, it was a grunt. I mean, you're trained from day one. Every other job
[01:24:33] in the United States military is to support you. Yeah, that's true. You know, you're trained that,
[01:24:38] which, I'm not, I mean, I won't say if I agree, you're just agree with it now, because I,
[01:24:44] it's like I tell civilians like, think of them of the military as a giant will with a lot of
[01:24:49] spokes. Combat guys are like a super small portion of one spoke. Yeah. It takes a lot of moving parts
[01:25:00] to make this machine turn. That's true. And so it's, it's, rather it's in support. Like,
[01:25:05] listen, I'm over that. I don't need, I don't need that anymore. Like I understand why guys think that
[01:25:10] I understand the mindset. There's a, there's a great, I was listening to some hack worth talking
[01:25:15] Colonel David Hackworth and one of the things that he said, he was trying to explain how many people
[01:25:20] were in combat Vietnam in combat. And it was like 10% of the troops. So at the peak of Vietnam,
[01:25:26] there was 560,000 people in country in Vietnam and like 50,000 of them were actually engaged in combat
[01:25:32] at that at any one time. And that's, you know, probably a pretty good figure. A lot of the world,
[01:25:38] where one world to world war two statistics are the same. It's like 10 to one. There's 10 support
[01:25:43] people for every one person that's going to like close close with and destroy the enemy.
[01:25:47] No, no, no, no. It is. Yeah. I mean, it's, I would never look at a supply guy or of course,
[01:25:55] when I was in, I did all the time. I'm like, I put up no chips, put up you bait or whatever.
[01:26:00] This loop is shit as what you say. But like I, I see him now and it's like, hey, I'm
[01:26:04] how pretty sure he's like, oh, well, I couldn't, I didn't do anything like, and I'm like, hey,
[01:26:08] first of all, there is no Richter skill on painted suffering. You know, what makes it unique is that
[01:26:18] it's unique to the individual. You can't grade it. So like your, you know, your spring to ankle
[01:26:27] when you were, you roll your ankle playing basketball there in your lunch hour. How do you know
[01:26:33] that didn't hurt as bad is my 50-intimey to come out of my left leg? It might have.
[01:26:41] Question you a little bit on that one, but the point, the, how the hell did we get talking about this?
[01:26:46] Hey, support people in the military. They do a great job. Then we wouldn't, the front line
[01:26:51] troops wouldn't be able to do anything without them. So that's what I'm saying. And vice versa,
[01:26:55] if the front line troops weren't there, the, the support people would have no job. That's the
[01:26:58] attitude I always had. And we were a team that had to cover move together. And if the intel people
[01:27:03] didn't supply the intel and if the, if the CDs didn't build the bases and keep the generators running
[01:27:09] and the combat engineers were not clearing it. I mean, it's like, it takes a try. Exactly. And so that's
[01:27:13] my point. And that's like, listen, if you're still in and you're in a non-combat role, be proud of what you're
[01:27:20] done. Yeah, no, you're proud of. You know, I have guys that I meet now and they say, well, I was in from,
[01:27:25] you know, 84 to 90. And I never did anything. I was like, hey, you did what your country asked you to do.
[01:27:30] Yeah, you know, I stopped at that mindset, man. You've been conditioned just to call it what it is.
[01:27:39] My guys like I used to be to believe you didn't do anything. Okay, well, the more mature me,
[01:27:46] still pretty dumb, but the more mature me is here to tell you, thank you for carrying the flag
[01:27:52] before I did. Yeah. Yeah. That's another for it is like, who is going to train you? Who's the
[01:27:58] D.I.s that put you through boot camp? And who's the guys that train them? They're in 1984, right?
[01:28:03] You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, long chain. It's a gift that keeps on giving, you know. And it's,
[01:28:08] but he served. You're doing more than most. You know, you're doing more than most. Be proud of that
[01:28:14] fact. And so, but I, but I remember being, we, we leave the wire for the first time in Alessad
[01:28:21] and so we had guys driving the sixth time that, that were motor to you guys that weren't our
[01:28:29] guys. So I didn't know him. It was like a, I don't know if he's like a Lance Koolie and then there's
[01:28:35] like a staff sergeant and they had driver seat and I'm up on the turret, right? And so I'm just like,
[01:28:39] all right, whatever. And so we're coming, we come out of the gate and we bang a left and we're
[01:28:48] headed to our first checkpoint, which by the way, the Iragonash Garden Iragon police knew.
[01:28:55] What are our checkpoints were when we were leaving when we're gonna get there? So that's awesome.
[01:28:59] Yeah, because, you know, there's some really, really smart people in DC that thought that was a good idea.
[01:29:04] And yeah, so that obviously that, that standard operating procedure didn't last for a long
[01:29:12] because we knew it was about idea and but you know, we're had to get back to them like, hey,
[01:29:20] bombs and stuff, just follow us everywhere we go. It's weird. It's almost like they know we're going
[01:29:27] to be there. Imagine that, you know. And so I remember, I could take some type of contact right
[01:29:37] and I'm, I'm weird vehicle and the dude and the driver stops in the middle of a bridge.
[01:29:46] And I just think of a member in training. Do not stop on a bridge. And so I'm telling us
[01:29:53] do like get off the bridge. And he's like looking at the staff sergeant, German saloon,
[01:29:58] like, what the hell do you see on that mean? And so I start taking them in his home, like get off the
[01:30:06] bridge. And that's the assorted news. That's where it's like, dude, just get off the bridge.
[01:30:10] I was like a good idea. Yeah. And so it was, um, new eye cap check or push. Yeah, I do. We got off the bridge.
[01:30:18] And I'm like, hey, genius, how do you know that that thing wasn't going to blow?
[01:30:25] Well, don't stop on a bridge ever. Your motor T. I just shocked that someone didn't tell you,
[01:30:32] don't stop on a bridge because you're you're sitting duck. Yeah. And it's like, that was my like
[01:30:40] welcome to high rack moment when it was, um, and man, we just started everything after that
[01:30:49] pretty pretty much as blurs together. And until the day that we got told that we were going to
[01:30:54] go to do lab, which was for all intents of purposes of an ammo dump was pretty much what
[01:31:00] do lab was. And that's where we were, you know, surgeons were going to get on exploded ordinance.
[01:31:05] And I mean, thousands and thousands of thousands of RPGs, you know, AKs, 7.62 rounds,
[01:31:12] mortars, I mean thousands. And we had to combat engineers out there all day, every day,
[01:31:18] I'm blowing stuff. I mean, they just couldn't blow it quick enough because we would find so many
[01:31:24] of these weapon cash was everywhere. It was insane. And so, but we go through, we get to up to the
[01:31:31] point of, you know, it's a little after our moth that we're there and we get the order that we're going
[01:31:39] to go to do lab, which for most of us was like, okay, so we can breathe some kickback time,
[01:31:45] relax. I had a bad feeling about it. Right my gut as soon as they told us, I heard do lab and
[01:31:51] I knew it was our turn to go, this is actually the primary do lab about. I had a, I got a bad feeling
[01:31:56] of my gut, but know what it was. And so my role was when I left, when I left the states,
[01:32:04] and I told my family, hey, listen, here's the deal. Don't send me anything. Don't write me.
[01:32:12] I'm not going to write you. Don't watch the news and no news is good news. I'll see you in seven
[01:32:18] months. Because in my mind, I had a job to do and I didn't need them in my head with their first
[01:32:23] world bullshit. And because my family puts the jury in springer, and so definitely didn't need that.
[01:32:31] And so that was my mindset. But we get, we're told we're going to do lab, so I get this
[01:32:35] weird feeling of my gut. And I'm like, damn, why don't know what that is? It's the night before we
[01:32:41] head out and you know, get a shower and a hot shower and I'm walking back to our tent from the
[01:32:49] shower trailer and a walk by Gunny. And Gunny, you just saw it to Gunny, man. He used like a 23-year
[01:32:57] gunny, and he earned it. And I loved them. Everybody loved them. You know, and he was one of the guys
[01:33:04] where if you tell him good morning, and he didn't tell you, if he said, if you don't hear
[01:33:09] something back like, go after your mom, if you hear like good morning back, Gunny, he's pissed about
[01:33:17] something and it's going to be a long day. But like if you're like, go after your mom, you're like
[01:33:22] sweets, Gunny's in a good mood. He's just, he was that guy, you know, and everybody loved them.
[01:33:29] Everybody respected them because he demanded it. And he commanded it because he would be the first
[01:33:34] guy if it pops off. He's going to be right there. He's not, he's not ducking behind anything. He's
[01:33:43] the dude walking up and down the line smoking a cigar. That's that gunny. He's that guy and it was just
[01:33:50] an abundant amount of respect he had. And even if you, even if you hated him, you loved to hate them.
[01:33:58] You know, but I love the dude because it was for me he was what the Marine Corps met as one individual.
[01:34:09] And I dug that about him. You know, I was like, that's, I need to be around him all the time. I want
[01:34:16] more of what's in his head in mind. I can learn a tremendous amount from this guy. And so I'm
[01:34:23] walking back into the tent. He's in front of the tent. I said, good evening, Gunny. And I walked
[01:34:29] behind him and say, if any grabs like the back of my skibby shirt and pulls me back towards him and
[01:34:34] any hug me, we said, I love you, shit. And I was like, I don't know, dude, my hands. Like, I'm, like, what
[01:34:43] do I do? Do I say it back? Is this a trap? What do I do? And this sounds like screw it, man. I mean,
[01:34:50] I've been dirty before. All of you two guns. I mean, I'll never forget he just looked at me
[01:34:57] and writing my face and just said, you're going to be alright. So I'll do that. So then I was like,
[01:35:05] okay, something's not right. At this point, I'm 100% convinced something's not right. I didn't know
[01:35:13] what it was, but I knew it wasn't right. So I broke my card and I went to the phone tent,
[01:35:20] called my family and the last person I call was my dad. And you know, you have the two,
[01:35:26] three second delay. And I knew it was about 10 30 night in Streetport, Louisiana. And I knew you
[01:35:32] was home alone because my stepmom and my little brother were at the ranch of San Antonio and the answer
[01:35:37] was the phone and I said, hey, pop. And he knew me because I'm the only kid that calls him pop.
[01:35:43] The first words out of his mouth were why am I talking to you. It's almost like he knew that I knew
[01:35:51] something wasn't right. And I said, I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. And what you,
[01:35:58] you being my father means to me as your son. Because at this point in our life,
[01:36:05] in our journey, it's father and son was, that's pretty much where it ended. He was my dad. I was a son.
[01:36:11] That was it. Because my older brother, he was born and God just touched his forehead and said,
[01:36:16] athlete. And my dad was baseball player and my brother's baseball player always hated it. That is
[01:36:21] the slowest sport known to mankind. It's like watching paint dry. And so I always, growing up,
[01:36:30] felt like I was always chasing my brother. I was chasing this this unbelievable athlete that I was
[01:36:36] never going to be better than when it came to athleticism no matter what sport. But I was chasing
[01:36:43] that. And then I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go play baseball, the try and appease my dad to show
[01:36:48] him like, hey, I can do this through. And I sucked. I was never going to run. It was never going to
[01:36:52] get that. You know, football, knowing now baseball is an art almost. It's a calculated art where
[01:37:00] with football, if you can run into another human with 100% focus and 100% will of breaking that man's
[01:37:11] will by making your body collide with his as hard as you can, you can play football. To a certain
[01:37:19] extent, you can play football. Why did I love that? Because for me, it was an outlet of the
[01:37:26] ingrat aggression that I had. It's a kid growing up and the the antithesis of the cookie cutter
[01:37:32] childhood. And so at this point that I'm leaving, you know, my father and I, it was, we weren't where
[01:37:39] I felt like we should be as father and son. You know, this is a conversation that I've had with my
[01:37:46] dad since obviously. And so when I told him, like, I just want you to know, it's important that
[01:37:53] you know how much I love and respect you and how much I owe you for being there when you were
[01:38:01] adult, a shitty hand, and you had us kids on your own. And you leaned in, you leaned in, and you
[01:38:11] boat up, and I owe you till I die, I'll owe you. And I needed you to know that. And so he said,
[01:38:20] how long is this passion? I said nine days. And yeah, he knew not to ask where you're going,
[01:38:26] what are you doing? Because the people that listen to your every phone call would, you're called
[01:38:32] would be over. And he said, I bet I want to hear from you nine days. He said, I better hear from you nine
[01:38:38] days. And I said, you will, pop. I love you man. He just said, I love you too, and ended with
[01:38:44] your better be okay. And I hung up. And it was one of those moments where I was like,
[01:38:53] as a at the time I'm 21 years old, and I realized, I have, I have no control over anything.
[01:39:05] Nothing. I feel like I think I can. I think I have control and
[01:39:13] in protecting my team and making sure my team's okay. I have no control over anything.
[01:39:20] It was one of those human moments where I realized, I'm just as vulnerable as everyone else.
[01:39:27] There's nothing special about me. I can be the biggest, strongest, toughest. It doesn't matter.
[01:39:36] It does not matter. Because when it's your time, it's your time. That's it.
[01:39:43] Doesn't matter what you know, doesn't matter how well-trained you are.
[01:39:46] If God pulls your card, you're done. So it was a very, very
[01:39:51] sobering and humbling moment for me. And we left out the next morning to go to Alice.
[01:39:59] It's our go to do love. We get out to do love, and we start
[01:40:06] patrol on the perimeter, and for Reactors call, of course, me and the React team, which
[01:40:11] me and nine Marines would go to wherever the React is, and but I always had that.
[01:40:17] Have you feeling in my gut that it didn't affect my job, it didn't affect
[01:40:23] our day-to-day operations and what we were doing, but I knew it was something was coming.
[01:40:31] And then one night we had two guys coming, the main gate, and they were in like a white opal.
[01:40:38] Pulled in the main gate and pretty much just laid down on both sides of the car.
[01:40:42] Obviously not in all the behavior. Well these guys were high profile targets that
[01:40:51] once we find out who they are and radio batayan, they're like, don't let them out of your sight.
[01:40:57] And so we ended up having, and for the React team we had two two-door saw-top on Vs.
[01:41:03] That's what we had to operate in, and the guy, we had one guy in the back of one vehicle,
[01:41:08] another guy in the back of the second vehicle and they both had MTMR, he boxed the duct tape on
[01:41:12] their head because we were out of hoods and so it provided that no overcome. And you know how
[01:41:19] them all, they weren't growing anywhere. Well so the I-Racki National Guard also got to be on the
[01:41:27] same net frequencies, radio frequency. So they're hearing all the transmissions next thing
[01:41:33] you know they show up and there's a lot of them and they pull in and circle us. Obviously it's
[01:41:41] show of force and say you know these guys same thing you went through about the ID maker, the
[01:41:48] bomb maker, you know these guys, they're no threat. These guys are good, you need a lot of them go,
[01:41:55] you know. No. And I remember one of the guys it was like the kernel of the Racki National
[01:42:00] Guard and he said we you need the the tur- the interpreters there and I remember him saying something
[01:42:07] along the lines of we need to take a director from a spear officer and we were like a bro.
[01:42:13] I don't know if you've been working with the army or whatever, well we don't give a shit who you are
[01:42:18] because we know that you're probably a bad guy. So no, they're not leaving.
[01:42:26] And that situation got super gnarly super quick and I was thinking of myself like
[01:42:36] I remember telling one of the guys that had a nine to one of the dudes had and I told him if he
[01:42:43] so much of sneezes, push his brains to the side of his head and I could hear that beretta nine
[01:42:51] mill I could hear it rattling because he was it was I'm sure it was from pre-written um
[01:42:59] the Marines you know and I could hear but I could hear the slide rattling against the barrel and I was like
[01:43:08] did that do you shake and hard? But I knew if that dude so much has sneezed.
[01:43:13] I knew it would happen and so we were by the grace of God we had because we were part of
[01:43:22] weapons between but weapons company it just got done doing a coordinate knock or whatever they were
[01:43:28] doing and they're listening to this transmission over the net so we're talking with Battalion saying like
[01:43:34] hey this is escalating and there's about 65 of them and 10 of us so they were heavily outnumbered
[01:43:40] obviously but we need some serious shit is gonna go down and so weapons company pulls in
[01:43:51] I don't even remember if it's an hour later three hours it seemed like a freaking eternity
[01:43:55] but they pull in and make a circle around the ING good times bro and of course the weapons company are the ones
[01:44:03] with you know the Martin 19's 50 cows 84 we had 84's too but I mean that all all the big you know
[01:44:12] when they pull in you know like okay those guys have big stuff that obviously goes bang a lot
[01:44:20] and so these guys pulled in and it was almost in unison the iron the iron can actually guard guys
[01:44:26] dropping their AKs hands in there no me stuff no me stuff you know I was like yep those are our home
[01:44:31] me so you know like so let's and so those guys they take them and take them back to a
[01:44:36] Alicid and you know and they they pop corn far disappear just gone let me I'm sure some
[01:44:44] super secret squirrel age just came in and got them or whatever we finally go to bed down and
[01:44:52] I go up to the command post and dock was up at the command post was just turned to sit in the vehicle
[01:44:58] that that powers the command post and this is turned to count the flares long you free to use and
[01:45:06] when was it shot what color was it and then we turned into Intel and then they tried crack code
[01:45:11] decipher code and so we saw a dock and telling them like you know okay man this was nice I can't
[01:45:18] know that that's crazy and so I can barely keep my eyes open at this point drillins
[01:45:27] worn off and you know series the high high series low low's no gray area that's what being a
[01:45:34] run is and being a warfighter is and so I built a dock I got a bed down smoked let's go bed down
[01:45:42] the words man and so I go and take my boots off and I'm so tired the take my boots off
[01:45:51] alone my cot and I ragged being Iraq especially in O4 not even 20 minutes later I mean my dog
[01:45:59] didn't even start to breathe react and I came Murphy you're dick you know it was like if that's the
[01:46:08] way Murphy works dude not a fan not a fan of of that Murphy and so you know wake up and I'm like
[01:46:16] all right got a wake up team so I rubbed her back and was especially nothing's in her ear
[01:46:21] because that's how we do it and we these got they're all pissed like yeah this is a bunch of bullshit
[01:46:31] like a man's cuz it's the paycheck that's why we do it but what was the call that came in
[01:46:38] what they what was going down it was um I think it was someone in there someone had gotten in the
[01:46:45] A.O. when supposed to be in the A.O. and you know neutralize threat type thing and I just like
[01:46:51] get up and I'm I'm carrying I think I slide my boots on anytime and I walk out of the tent
[01:47:01] soon as I walk out of the tent that feeling I had my gut went right in my throat
[01:47:05] rules right into my throat and I knew we're about to get it I knew
[01:47:10] it sure as I was that the sun was gonna come up I knew we were gonna get it I didn't know how bad
[01:47:16] it was gonna be I didn't know by what I didn't know to the extent but I knew it was gonna happen
[01:47:23] and so I by the I took measures and did things that otherwise wouldn't have done and you
[01:47:31] mean caught my grandfather talked to me from beyond the grave you can call a god and call whatever you want
[01:47:36] good news is that I can have my beliefs and you can have yours and odds are we're not gonna
[01:47:40] get our heads cut off because we live in a free society and so I my commanding officer was out there
[01:47:49] to do a report on what it went down the night before he was sleeping and but I knew he had a bomb
[01:47:55] blanket and so I took the bomb blanket out of the pasture seat of the one of the only up on
[01:48:01] where it on me's we had at the time and I went to the lead vehicle and I told the driver
[01:48:07] scoot over the lead vehicles to this day of a great friend of mine put the bomb blanket down
[01:48:12] and I told the guys button up if they gave it to us for protection but put it on now
[01:48:17] which I usually wasn't a little hardcore about just because when it's 120 something that
[01:48:23] agrees and you you have all that gear on more gear is not optimal to the whole being comfortable
[01:48:29] thing and I'm sure the guys knew something was up and then I take the radio from the arrow
[01:48:38] and everything's buttoned up a black jacket couple or wiley access for shattered proof
[01:48:50] that they should have said kind of shattered proof and then it's the growing protector
[01:48:57] they gave it we had it on and so I get on the horn with my right arm driving on my left
[01:49:04] I gasped it and see you're driving I'm driving driving and just because I had you put the
[01:49:13] bomb blanket under the under the driver seat and so I don't know it was just reaction I mean
[01:49:20] something was guiding me to do all these things you know I'm not I can't tell you what the
[01:49:25] lot of numbers are like I can't tell I don't have BSP I guess me I'm not a fortune teller
[01:49:31] like something was guiding me to do these things and you just put that bomb blanket under
[01:49:35] their just because you just could something told me put it in the driver seat and get in the
[01:49:40] driver seat take the radio I did all these things I punched it three minutes later we had a triple
[01:49:47] stack press replading nighted so three three one five five Mike Mike and Laman's turn with that
[01:49:55] means is the big ass bomb yeah that's about 175 pounds of explosives it's a lot it's freaking big
[01:50:02] blew up directly beneath me blew me about 30 feet at top of the home v stuck the landing with my
[01:50:08] head because again Marines blew even good forms and I like to say because God's a comedian I
[01:50:15] never lost consciousness on everyone into shock I remember the whole thing took the black
[01:50:19] clock 42 minutes come get me so I love to look at people when they're like such a long day
[01:50:25] it worked my really hold on let me throw some perspective your way but that's only when I'm in a bad mood
[01:50:35] but it was I knew mid-air it was bad I knew it was bad I knew this was not good at all
[01:50:45] and when I hit the deck I couldn't breathe because the as you know the series of events on
[01:50:53] explosion a million things happen in a nanosecond especially when it's that big of an explosion
[01:50:59] and so it was when the dashboard disengaged and steer will hit me my chest it made exploded all my
[01:51:05] mags hit me my chest and temporary collapsed both my lungs before I was blown out and whole
[01:51:13] series of things happened before during this process causing injuries and I hit the deck and
[01:51:22] I knew I'm hurt bad I can't breathe can't hear anything it's just ringing and
[01:51:30] first thing I do is talk to God first thing I did before I even did self assessment
[01:51:35] this is talk to guys I can't see out of my right eye thanks to this shattered proof well yeah
[01:51:43] because they shattered both of them all yeah there's there's something called a triple stacked
[01:51:50] idea I don't know what glasses are gonna hang with that one saying hey listen man false
[01:51:54] advertising right yeah so we got it but we um I'm there a great company I'm just you know
[01:52:02] gonna find light in every situation but we but I talked to God right away this is exactly what I said
[01:52:10] hey big man I know this is bad all I'm asking is that you don't take me in front of my family
[01:52:17] it's all I'm asking don't let my brothers watch me die
[01:52:22] soon as this kids leave the deck come all yours just please don't let my brothers watch me die
[01:52:26] talk here about and I started the self assessment which starts with checking your junk
[01:52:35] the only thing that worked was my right arm everything else shattered or broken
[01:52:39] gonna find out all my ribs are broken so I didn't open anything and so I go
[01:52:47] move my growing flap and check my junk and I was like okay that's there everything else has been
[01:52:54] dataable like we're to work through we will survive and but then I looked at my my right
[01:53:03] leg look normal but my right but my right foot and ankle hurt really bad
[01:53:10] this is like a good broad broken well I didn't know it was crushed was the firewall
[01:53:14] and I'm gonna be folded up trust my right foot before I was blown out my left I looked at my left arm
[01:53:20] and I remember seeing like daylight through my left arm part of my left hand was hanging down
[01:53:26] by my elbow it's all like okay that's might not might not keep the left arm
[01:53:35] and I looked down at my left leg which was turned outward like if you're sitting down with both
[01:53:41] legs like you're gonna touch your toes my left leg was turned outward to the left and my foot
[01:53:46] was inverted like with my toes pointing at me and my boot was blown off but my but everything was
[01:53:54] there it was all over the place but it was there so I saw my fibi and my tibia saw all the damage
[01:53:59] that was done to my left leg and because my my canmies were shredded and I thought two things
[01:54:05] when I saw that first thing I thought was that's not supposed to be like that second thing I
[01:54:10] thought was that that was confirmation that that was a very big explosion to be able to blow
[01:54:17] a lace-up combat boot off your leg and not take your leg with it is a massive explosion it's crazy
[01:54:24] and so at this point I'm thinking how was the yeah guy in the guy in the blast blown
[01:54:30] your drums was the other worst injury yeah man so literally blew up straight up directly beneath
[01:54:37] the straight and straight up they must have buried a little bit enough that it just projected
[01:54:42] right up into you yeah and it was so that standoff we had the night before
[01:54:50] it's when they buried it so all that was was a diversion is everyone was glued to the
[01:54:56] radio so it was in a perfect spot it was the one spot around that entire area of operation
[01:55:07] that you couldn't have eyes directly on the one spot yeah and so at this point the guys finally
[01:55:15] make it up to me and there really there's a lot of freaking out because I mean I did the humv move
[01:55:25] oh yeah it was blown so did it get blown up yeah but it was I'll tell you this if we were in an
[01:55:31] upper humv everyone was would be dead from over pressure absolutely there'd been no
[01:55:36] or four to go everyone would have died it would have been but it was blown up and over to the right
[01:55:46] and second view of what affected but the guys are not too mean
[01:55:53] at this point I'm back to telling God like a man just remember our deal
[01:56:02] remember our deal and the guys are okay shit we got your bro we got you you know
[01:56:11] we got you hanged tough and how to know where I was able to take a breath and the first thing
[01:56:17] I said was developed 360 there like oh shit yeah it's like yeah no shit what's coming next yeah
[01:56:25] how do we know we're not so about start taking fire which probably was was unlikely because there
[01:56:31] was no cover in that I mean there had been no where formed a hide and it would have been a
[01:56:36] suicide mission on their part because we had one still very functional 240 and we knew how to
[01:56:43] employ that weapon but they get me back on the second vehicle which was like I said
[01:56:49] still operational and getting me back up to the command post and man and little did I know that
[01:56:57] that's that at that moment that's one my battle my personal war started right then that day
[01:57:05] and I get up there and doc same doc that I was talking to that was in the the on via
[01:57:13] countenaflars it was working on me and I was I was I was pissed I was not happy
[01:57:24] and I was yelling at doc and I was like doc you got to hit me you got to hit me and he's like I already
[01:57:31] did and so I'm like you I was like you're you're a stingy bastard because he only was hit me with
[01:57:38] two sticks of morphine and I knew he had more and all I knew was I was in a lot of pain he had the
[01:57:42] remedy and he wasn't given to me and I was like that's that's kind of bullshit you know I did
[01:57:47] understand that the muscles around my lungs could relax so much I self-cate I didn't know
[01:57:53] didn't care just knew I was in a lot of pain he had drugs and he was not giving him to me
[01:57:58] little that I know the guy was the the tip of the spirits saving my life and um while this whole
[01:58:08] situation was really gnarly and very painful and very very humbling I wouldn't traded it all because
[01:58:17] I got to tell everyone of those guys every single one of them I'm saying this is just like talking
[01:58:23] to my dad but I was talking to my brothers just got to tell everyone of them how much I love them how much
[01:58:28] they meant to me how much I respected them and that this is real what we're doing is real look at me
[01:58:35] look at me and remember this and go fight your balls off because this is what they want to do to
[01:58:41] everyone of us don't let it happen again just just just learn from this you have to fight for me now
[01:58:50] and that was you know it was a situation where they kept telling me you know he shook his
[01:59:02] your bird home your bird home and it would piss me off every time they said it it was like I don't want
[01:59:09] to go home shut up I don't want to go home shake you get to go see your family you are my family
[01:59:15] I'll see them when it's time to see them you know it was that so there's this whole series of thoughts
[01:59:23] and emotions and you know I mean it was everything from laughing and crying everything in between
[01:59:30] laughing again and they were scrambling to get the the metavac there and the problem was that we
[01:59:37] didn't have any fighter escort and let's took forever because they were all dispatched so for
[01:59:42] I mean they were all scrambled and so those finally it was a Texas Army National Guard pilot
[01:59:50] that heard the transmission that you know this marine out of Texas category four rapidly
[01:59:56] approaching category five. Scatigory four's urgent surgery category five being an
[02:00:00] expectant and he finally got a screw and said I strew the rules for going to get this marine and he
[02:00:11] came and got me and I remember the guys were loading me on the black hog and my
[02:00:19] two sergeant was the last one on and man that was that was a that was an emotional experience dude because it was
[02:00:31] anyway two sergeant son and he kisses me on my forehead and he says we'll see soon jacklandin
[02:00:38] he's always called me jacklandin because my first generation marine is jacklandin shex second generation
[02:00:42] jacklandin chick junior so he always called me jacklandin because I guess Jake wasn't good enough
[02:00:46] but he but when he said it he was trying not to cry and I could tell in his eyes he was lying
[02:00:54] which kind of motivated me and I was like well I'll show you I'm gonna prove you wrong and you are
[02:01:01] gonna see me again even though it wasn't my choice right and so the the bird takes off man and
[02:01:10] um out of everything I've been through from day one to now that was the hardest moment hands
[02:01:22] down no questions asked was leaving those guys hands down that was the hardest moment because that's when
[02:01:31] I was taught just how human I am and just how irrelevant I am and it was a very very hard
[02:01:44] experience to leave my family in harm's way and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it
[02:01:51] you talk about being humbled that will humble you and we get up in the in the air and I'm
[02:01:59] able I'm able to get the attention I want to litter crews a young dude I mean again I'm 21 he's
[02:02:06] probably 18 19 but mill through years that's Eons and he comes up and he gets right he puts his left
[02:02:13] you right in front of my face and I yelled as a lot of as I could because as you know on the back
[02:02:18] one of the birds you know I've had said on the canter shoes and I yelled as far as I could
[02:02:22] how long and I remember when I did I felt life leave my body I knew I was dying
[02:02:27] did they turn it get you already the doctor yeah over and over yeah because I mean I was bleeding everywhere
[02:02:33] yeah so do you have did you have strappin wounds yeah so it was not just your leg and you
[02:02:40] were not strappin I had a trap on my my chin side of my face my my neck
[02:02:47] right arm left arm left leg it was it was bad and um I had not had that sappy pleading my
[02:02:56] flat I had been dead there was a big a piece there's a piece sticking out that was bigger than
[02:03:01] this cable or sticking out right out of the center and my gunny took pictures of my gear showing guys
[02:03:09] like hey no matter how uncomfortable you are this is why you don't cut corners yeah and um but this
[02:03:19] dude on the litter crew radios up front of the captain he comes back and he yells in my right
[02:03:23] here 12 mics there's a lot of you can 12 minutes and so I was I immediately talked to God again
[02:03:32] right away my a big man I'm gonna have to re-nig on that original verbal agreement
[02:03:38] I'm pretty sure I can do 12 more minutes and um the obviously he gave me that because I'm
[02:03:46] talking to but um we go home we landed in blood which is just to make shit filled hospital at the
[02:03:53] time I'm sure you remember from seeing the no four but it was and they pulled me off the bird
[02:03:58] and immediately immediately started working on me I mean it was I would not happy about the situation
[02:04:06] because they kept saying name rank social name rank social name rank social is it wanted me alert
[02:04:11] there where you know and I knew what they were doing and I was like but it's like if you slam
[02:04:17] your finger in the door right and your body is right there and he's like hey are you okay are you okay
[02:04:22] are you okay are you okay and every time they say it the pain goes up like I would be golden
[02:04:28] if you would you shut your yapper you know and so I just yelled finally and pointed with my
[02:04:34] right arm who's only it works that hey statuid right to all my ribs I'm done talking
[02:04:40] like I'm gonna show them right and I didn't inside and talking to the get me in the tent and
[02:04:50] they they loaded me up with some of the good shit because I felt it definitely helped the pain
[02:04:55] but I was still a massive amount of pain and I'll never forget one of the surgery was slowing
[02:04:59] up my face and he said oops yeah I looked at I was like what do you mean oops doc I mean it's like
[02:05:05] a K-SARM arena picked up on your stitches gonna start again and I said hey doc at this point I have
[02:05:10] the sheet up to my neck I said hey doc I don't know if you've seen seen my body from the neck down
[02:05:17] but I'm fairly certain the scratches on my face are the least of our worries and I think you had
[02:05:22] the the anesthetist not me out of that moment because I don't that's the last thing I remember
[02:05:28] until I was working up by nurse jacks who she had told me
[02:05:33] she will be up and you know I'm coming out of the OR and um that's still in the lot yeah and she
[02:05:40] says hey marine I'm sorry to tell you this we had to take your right foot it was dead when you
[02:05:46] got here there's no blood flow and it was crushed and I remember thinking to myself like
[02:05:53] shit they took the wrong foot because it was my left one that was really messed up and so then I
[02:05:58] think like you know like it's good enough for government work whatever and I'm just it's
[02:06:05] blood it's I'm just like you know in a long day just got wrong so you're completely
[02:06:09] contorted and twisted in backwards and left foot it was was the one that made it and then
[02:06:16] what that looked pretty normal to you look completely normal with my boot on look everything
[02:06:22] normal but then she described it to me she she said when we when you got here imagine
[02:06:30] like a surgical glove but in the shape of a foot as opposed to a hand
[02:06:35] being filled with sand that was your right foot she said everything it was everything and it was
[02:06:41] completely crushed there was it was to the point to where there was it cut off the blood supply
[02:06:47] and so somehow none of my major arteries and my left arm or left leg I hit and so there was still
[02:06:57] hope for my left leg and my left arm but she ended up we ended up loading up on the bird to go to
[02:07:06] Germany and she flew with me to Germany because I was I was not out of the woods by any stretch
[02:07:13] it was gonna be a this was gonna be a long and arduous recovery process and I remember getting to
[02:07:20] Germany I don't know I'm sorry but before we left this was four days after I talked to my
[02:07:28] my dad so I called my dad from the sat phone they giving me my dad entered the phone and
[02:07:37] said hey pop and he said why am I talking to you I said they got me so what do you mean they got
[02:07:46] me so they got me dad in the murder said how bad are you hurt so they had take my right foot
[02:07:53] there's a pause and then he said are you gonna make it and I said I don't know
[02:08:01] he said we're waiting for a certain green and you know we'll meet you in Germany
[02:08:05] and at this point man I'm not four-year-old kid again just needed that and I
[02:08:15] last thing I told him was I was I love them but right then I said please hurry
[02:08:20] and he said you're right I love you and love you too that was the hardest one I've ever made in my life
[02:08:27] because I just see him at my actual graduation saying why would you do that and I'm like damn it
[02:08:36] you know damn it you may have had something there like and I'm still thinking like a young
[02:08:42] image your kid but I knew one thing I wanted my dad and so I get to Germany and
[02:08:51] one of my best friends from high school was a little brother who was like my little brother
[02:08:55] growing up was an army and he was a scout and he was there in Germany and was able to get
[02:09:02] word that I was on my way and he was right there and they had been on storage open
[02:09:09] and he put his head on my chest and he lost it it started falling and I just remember
[02:09:14] I'm telling him sorry Josh it's all right man and you know you just kept saying not you not you
[02:09:22] and he wouldn't leave my side you know but he had a cell phone and I got to call other people
[02:09:28] and even there trying to take me to the OR to watch me out and reset my left leg left arm
[02:09:34] and redo the external fixators he was like he's walking right next to the bed like he's
[02:09:40] going into the OR with me and I remember them saying like so you can't kind of he was like the
[02:09:44] hell I can't what do you and I was like you can't do like just come on man they don't have
[02:09:50] no drugs for both of us so that's but he was it was just a ghost to show you man like it's there
[02:09:56] were so many experiences throughout this process that just reassured me of how very real
[02:10:04] that something bigger than us out there is you know that there I was a believer growing up man
[02:10:11] but this was there were things that happened that no one could explain that had to be
[02:10:17] from our power and that was just one of them one of those moments where I was that was a
[02:10:24] part of me living was Josh being there and me not having to be alone in that situation
[02:10:32] so I ended up leaving Germany and I was only there for you know what even there a full day
[02:10:37] before they send me to Bethesda and I I lent because my family was supposed to meet me a
[02:10:44] Germany but the turnaround was so fast that you know the Marines right now we're just gonna send you
[02:10:49] Bethesda and I got to Bethesda and man those flights both flights from my rack of Jeremy
[02:10:57] Germany to Bethesda every little like bit of turbulence every little bump every little movement was
[02:11:05] like being blown up all over again it was narlie because your your body was under it was in so much
[02:11:11] pain it was just I'd never puked so much because of pain in my life and it was one of those
[02:11:19] things where I was again every little jar every movement was just like yours human is the
[02:11:26] gum like there's nothing special about yeah this is not gonna get easier and I remember the
[02:11:34] getting there and they're waiting over by the inertia entrance and the doors open and of course
[02:11:40] the little yays on it told my family like a jakes on the runway just touched down and my dad
[02:11:46] is there and I'm sure I looked amazing my head was probably size of a watermelon and I was black
[02:11:52] and blue and purple and then I'm sure I smelled amazing too and my dad put his hand on my chest
[02:11:58] and he said Bubba is at you and all I could get out was get your damn hand off my chest because
[02:12:03] all my ribs were broken and it hurt like a wall and he looks at my family because he had
[02:12:08] up that's jake it's jake so they load their they're rolling me on the gurney and this young
[02:12:13] sailors pushing me and I remember every little like in the grout that separates tiles like every
[02:12:20] little bump it was like getting blown up again and it would just make it would take my
[02:12:25] pan from six to as much as you could think snap of a family and it was gnarly and so I remember
[02:12:34] he's going to push me on the elevator to take me down at ICU and you know the big gap
[02:12:40] the separates the floor and the elevator we goes across that and we're in the big elevator where
[02:12:46] they take the gurney to take the patients on gurney and so my family's in there with us and
[02:12:50] he goes across that bump and this dude is so young and just he was the epitome of a boot
[02:13:01] and so it goes across that gap and I knife hand him with my right hand and I look up and I say
[02:13:08] if you do that again I'm gonna take you out in my dad last and looks at the family like he's
[02:13:14] gonna be okay you know and like the dudes meaning to hit gaps right it's just you know the
[02:13:22] problem was as I was never trained to be a severely wounded marine it wasn't in the handbook
[02:13:26] and so I didn't know what the hell to do and let's just get this out of the way I was never a good
[02:13:33] patient ever not one time it was something that I just didn't have in me all I knew to do was to be a
[02:13:44] dick and fight like hell and when I fight like hell it's I'm usually a dick that was my survival
[02:13:51] man that was you just like angry were you angry you were hurt and pissed off that you were you're
[02:13:57] like was gone and you're like just pissed and so every nurses you're pissed at I'm not mad
[02:14:04] listen I'm not angry that my legs gone I'm not angry I'm angry I'm talking about at that time
[02:14:09] at that time I'm not angry that my legs gone I'm not angry I never did the Y me I never
[02:14:14] not want to this day not don't have I don't believe in that I'm angry because my family
[02:14:20] is back in a god forsaken land fighting and there and here I am sucking up oxygen in a hospital
[02:14:27] but that's why I'm angry I'm pissed off at god it's like hey you had a perfectly good chance
[02:14:37] perfectly good chance then you what the hell you know what the hell that's I mean what am I supposed
[02:14:46] to do right from here right now what am I doing I'm doing no good none that's why I was angry
[02:14:55] and I was angry because I could not contribute to what I was trained to contribute to with
[02:15:02] with my brothers like that's they were there and I was back home an air condition room with
[02:15:09] a bunch of people waiting on me hand and foot upon totally intended like that you know that's why I was pissed
[02:15:17] no they couldn't understand that yeah and I and I don't blame them for that to this day I don't blame
[02:15:23] them for that but it was you know for we had a lot of guys getting hurt a lot of guys getting wounded
[02:15:30] and I mean the hospital was full of guys I wasn't a different I wasn't special I wasn't any better
[02:15:38] or worse or I was just a guy that had a bad day at work so what are they doing what are you going
[02:15:45] through at this point you know obviously you're going through surgery I mean surgery it was
[02:15:51] Narlie yeah I mean it was every for the first two and a half I guess months I was home I was in the
[02:15:58] OR every 48 72 hours and some of those operations were like 18 19 20 hour operations and they're
[02:16:05] piecing you back together yeah man Robert for Peter give the Paul to try and save my left leg
[02:16:10] in my left arms and do that and stuff it was crazy crazy crazy how many surgeries you have
[02:16:16] state side at 46 and I had 23 blood transfusions I've had a couple surgeries had a neck surgery
[02:16:23] and I had a hernia surgery so when you get when I got those surgeries right like you just feel
[02:16:29] like complete crap it's so you're just going through that every just like almost on a permanent level
[02:16:35] yeah the anesthesia the blood loss all that stuff it just it's wake up suck go to bed repeat
[02:16:46] it was nothing there's nothing fun about any of it and I mean it was so bad that
[02:16:58] it was like the nurses at the nurse they should have the night nurses I'll never forget and it happened
[02:17:02] every night they would do paper rocks this is just you had to take my chart
[02:17:11] it was that bad and I got for a bit of psychologist walkin my god for a bit
[02:17:19] it was because I was adding nothing to say to those so I'm kind of I just realized I laughed at this
[02:17:25] right and we're in your telling it in a funny way because you're like hey I was a bad patient
[02:17:31] but at the point I was getting that before like why you were angry but you like we're laughing
[02:17:36] about it right now but you're not kidding like this like you were p***ing pissed right yeah
[02:17:42] and when someone come in you'd be like you don't get that off me I don't know if you don't
[02:17:45] what you got like just aggro with people so I had this this is the rule that I had as a patient
[02:17:53] you're not allowed in my room unless we share DNA or your United States Marine
[02:17:59] and that goes for the president on down I don't give a shit what your title is or who you are
[02:18:05] those are the rules if you don't have the same DNA as me and your United States Marine don't
[02:18:10] come in my room because I'm gonna let you know you're not allowed and that was because I'm
[02:18:15] in survival mode and survival mode I didn't know what that looked like while I was making it up as
[02:18:21] I got as I went and I mean it was didn't matter what surgeon was talking to me what professional
[02:18:27] with a bunch of letters after his or her name I didn't care I did not care because my mind
[02:18:33] said was like I'm trying to figure out how to get to the next breath in the least painful ways
[02:18:42] possible and it was something that it was like I said I went from being one of the most
[02:18:51] part of one of the most elite fighting forces known to mankind to not being able to use
[02:18:56] the bathroom on my own now is in a hospital bed for months overnight I mean it the drop of a hat
[02:19:04] that's not homo pie that's in hell in the factory knowing that my guys I knew
[02:19:09] Felusio we were already drawing the war plan for Felusio and so it's like here I am
[02:19:19] and not broken I hate that terminology but here I am completely fractured
[02:19:24] and these guys are hooking in jab and they're asking me what kind of what color Jello I want
[02:19:36] and it's like I don't need I don't need to eat I need to get through the next minute
[02:19:45] and then the minute after that I get nothing else matters nothing I just need to survive
[02:19:52] second by second minute my minute breath by breath and continue to believe I'm worth this thing
[02:20:01] called life I need to keep fighting and a byproduct of that is that I was a giant dick
[02:20:10] but I kept fighting it wasn't pretty but I kept fighting and how long were you in Bethesda
[02:20:16] four so I'm only Bethesda a few months and then they moved me not in fact my my dad goes to
[02:20:25] Walter Reed and then he comes back and he says yo Jake this is your deal and let me back up a bit
[02:20:35] my dad and my brother are both pretty squeamish like when it comes to blood and stuff like that
[02:20:40] I just don't do well with it my dad who was an executive manager, just retired last year an executive
[02:20:47] banker started as a window teller to bang it worked his way up did not leave my bedside for 62 days
[02:20:58] didn't leave my side no matter how hard I was on him or did they did not leave my side
[02:21:05] and I like to say that if I had it not been for this explosion I would not be nearly as close to my
[02:21:12] you can't I don't think I could possibly be closer to my dad as I am now or my brother
[02:21:19] same thing same relationship that before just didn't we just didn't have it and I think it was
[02:21:27] because there was always that office struggle where is it had to take one of the office
[02:21:32] having a thumb over the grim reaper for everyone to say what the hell are we doing
[02:21:40] and why are we doing it and that's why I just wanted the reasons I wouldn't trade it
[02:21:48] because that that's beautiful man and I got to experience something that a lot of people don't
[02:21:52] get to experience that they die wondering that I said everything I needed to say
[02:21:58] that I love as hard as I needed to love I don't have to wonder about that now
[02:22:04] I needed to the loving beloved everything else is filler
[02:22:10] so that's why I would not trade it but I remember my dad taught me with my left arm one night they
[02:22:17] they were telling me okay Jake you know we have this we have to re-construct your left arm and
[02:22:22] the bottom graph took the first time but the top graph didn't take and the second time they tried
[02:22:27] doing it I remember they I woke up all they were cutting the graphed off and that was an
[02:22:34] early experience but I was a week for like literally 0.5 seconds before they knocked me back out
[02:22:40] and did you hit anybody in that 0.5 seconds I tried to hit people all the time I think it was
[02:22:45] stupid I mean I messed up stitches and staples and stuff all the time and I took up my
[02:22:51] own out all the time I broke up drugged up for you during this time dude I was on enough drugs to
[02:22:59] like kill a herd of elephants because everybody's body reacts differently to drugs right
[02:23:04] either you they accept them and you didn't take a lot with mine fights everything
[02:23:10] you know I mean which is not surprising but it takes if it takes you or you one pill it's going to take me
[02:23:17] five and so every operation I had because these were major these were intrusive operations these
[02:23:24] weren't okay we're gonna go and take the staples out of the no these were we're going in
[02:23:32] cutting you back up and we're gonna power wash this part of your body out and that mean they were
[02:23:37] intrusive operations we're gonna go and take skin from this part of your body and put it on this
[02:23:42] other part of your body and so or we're gonna take this bone out here and we're gonna try and
[02:23:47] graft it over there and so it was one of those things where I knew like okay these are some
[02:23:55] serious things where for six months to a year like I didn't know if I was gonna keep my left
[02:24:01] leg on my left arm because they they were I was going through all these operations to save these
[02:24:06] two appendages that were and for all its purposes I was a guinea pig for a lot of stuff which I'm
[02:24:12] okay with was better me than my brothers I'm alright with that small price to pay would be one of
[02:24:18] the world's finest right and so they I remember the night before I had this major operation on my
[02:24:27] left arm and this was when the graft didn't take the second one and they were doing a bone graft
[02:24:34] and they ampute it in my right leg again to take some of the tibia from my right leg to try and
[02:24:39] graft it in my left arm because five inches of my old on my left arm was bone out and my
[02:24:46] dad asked the doc on there for get it he said hey doc how did you sleep the next morning
[02:24:52] and he said I didn't my dad's a lot one in sleep so it's because I did Jake's operation
[02:24:58] about a thousand times in my head my dad was like okay I think I'm okay with that and then
[02:25:07] I remember masking me a a chick do you you mind if we ampute your fourth digit on your left
[02:25:13] hand because I don't think it's gonna be of any use to you and because my medical
[02:25:17] elbow was blown out from my ring finger I said if I wake up and there's anything else cut off
[02:25:21] my body don't be on the right side of my back because I will choke you out from a guy
[02:25:25] and everybody and he being knowing me all too well at the time said alright I'm gonna take
[02:25:33] that as a know and everybody got a good laugh and then they knocked me out again you know but
[02:25:40] so that graft didn't take and they knocked me back out then they call on a specialist and so
[02:25:48] what they had to do was put me in a douce coma and cut my abdomen open and then put my left arm
[02:25:57] in my abdomen and then sold my abdomen shut to grow skin over my left arm so much
[02:26:04] interestingly the same Lou Paul or Junior had the same because he had severely got his hands
[02:26:10] jacked up and they did the same thing multiple times to him yeah and it's you know who to
[02:26:15] thought that's a thing you know and then they so my dad and I had this thing where I would wake
[02:26:20] up every morning because he was always there during the day then someone else had come at night
[02:26:26] and so I would say you know he'd add it's you know Monday April 16th whatever and
[02:26:35] just to make sure I still had somewhat reliable cognitive function function going on you know and I'm
[02:26:43] trying to exercise my frontal loaves as much as I can making sure these executive functions are
[02:26:48] still working the way they are because I was already told you've got post for my stress track
[02:26:53] brandry which I was like whatever you know that's made up stuff by people in white goats
[02:26:58] too much time on their hands that do will not affect me I'm I'm I'm ready no and
[02:27:06] so I'm coming out of this this coma and that was the first time that my brother came in for the
[02:27:18] first time and I remember he came in and I could see because what sucked was as early on
[02:27:27] in the induced coma like I could be a alert but I couldn't obviously could say things I was
[02:27:32] animated so I did machine breathing for me I was completely paralyzed from the neck down couldn't move anything
[02:27:40] and it only lasted for the only did it for a day or so because it was so gnarly that my
[02:27:46] BP and everything would freak out my blood pressure would go up and I would see someone in my family
[02:27:49] because I felt like I was trapped in my own I'm a prisoner of my body somebody get me the hell out
[02:27:54] so where does the induced coma you can't move and can't talk nothing and yet you're conscious
[02:27:59] yeah isn't the purpose of being an induced coma right so unconscious right so they they this
[02:28:06] is just prior to them inducing the coma okay and so it was just before it but then my brother
[02:28:13] came in and it was the first time that my brother had been able to see me using college at the time
[02:28:18] and playing ball and my brother came in and sat down on the chair so well first when he goes to
[02:28:24] the walk in and I see him coming the door and they I see you and he leaves he like took a half step in
[02:28:30] and he turned around and he bolted and this is the queeziness factor no I think this was no I think
[02:28:36] it for him it was an emotion he didn't want to be emotional and me know he was emotional which
[02:28:42] I knew it did exactly why I had to leave the room so it's like it's obsolete my brother come all the way
[02:28:47] in I know you're doing and so with it he comes back in he sits down on the chair on the right
[02:28:55] side of my bed and he grabs my right hand and he puts his his forehead on my hand and he just
[02:29:01] starts crying and he just starts repeating over and over again thank you for not dying thank you for
[02:29:06] not dying and I was like dude anytime you want to shut up about that like it would be awesome
[02:29:14] because it was getting I mean it was getting to me right so my BP started going up and they're like
[02:29:20] hey you got to leave like you can't stay in here so then they realized like okay we got to
[02:29:25] we got an Aquaman out and then because they tried taping the window so I couldn't see but then
[02:29:29] it just was too much so they that's when they completely put me in the common
[02:29:35] that was for like 30 days or something and I remember coming out of it and telling my
[02:29:41] dad like induced coma was for 30 days yeah oh yeah it's a girl that around my arm and
[02:29:48] so they cut it out and then it took thankfully that was the last resort for my left arm
[02:29:55] so that intake they're gonna have to empty below my hollow within my dead weeks or I
[02:30:00] weakened I'm coming out and looking my dad my dad's money April 16 because I was like well no it's
[02:30:05] uh what was happened was and then I'm like did no one want to run this by me it was like no they
[02:30:13] figured you'd be against it so it's like whatever shit just a little matab you know it's like
[02:30:22] but I remember my dad going over water easy it was time my dad told them like hey listen
[02:30:27] I can afford to fly up here and see my son every week most of his family because I'm still
[02:30:32] not out of the woods most of his family can't afford to come to Maryland from Louisiana and
[02:30:36] her Texas to come you know see him often and so he goes to Walter Reed and just came back and he told
[02:30:43] me he said but this is your deal this is but no son of mine is gonna go to that hospital
[02:30:51] I'm obviously I'm gonna take your word for it's not like I can skip over there and go check it out
[02:30:56] and they said okay well we had a friend that worked with a pinagon it was a one star and my dad
[02:31:03] my stem on the contact them and just said hey listen we gotta get J close for the home and so I
[02:31:08] actually went to they sent me to BAMSI and San Antonio and I like to say that's accounts for 50
[02:31:18] percent of my post from that stress because I was the only marine at army facility and sorry I'm not
[02:31:23] sorry about that but it was a great hospital that you know they did just a good work as Bethesda
[02:31:30] you know but when they when they shipped me they moved me way too soon and I just my body wasn't
[02:31:36] ready for it and we had to stop and I believe it's called Scott Air Force Base in Illinois
[02:31:41] reflying yeah I'm a bird so he stopped and Scott and um I guess we didn't know that we were stopping
[02:31:51] and I had only had enough enough medications in my nerve blockers for set amount of time to get
[02:32:01] to San Antonio well that stuff was they wanted to do a little layover yeah so I'm pissed
[02:32:10] I wake up when we're there and this guanyu walks up to me he was like hey cool for sure you can
[02:32:16] welcome with Scott Air Force Base I'm guanyu shmucketelli and I was I'm like where the hell
[02:32:25] Scott Air Force Base and who the hell are you? because my my tactic at this point is gone way
[02:32:32] out the window did not matter your rank like did not matter and because I'm on a tip point where I'm
[02:32:40] like what are they gonna do shape my hands I mean all right please you'd be doing me a favor but
[02:32:46] the sun pissed and I call my dad and I'm like I don't know who fucked this up but I need you
[02:32:52] on fuck it right now and he got pissed that I was pissed and him some was out of his control you know
[02:32:58] and he was like Jake home and fine go back to go back to the test I don't care but you know and it was
[02:33:04] you know I I I was owed that in a lot more and so they gave me the hospital my buddy just
[02:33:12] started shut down so next week this is in the hospital Scott it's just you okay this is not like a
[02:33:17] major so they did like a legit let they stopped stopped like so then it's a delay for me to even
[02:33:24] go to Santonio because they had to get you to recover kind of yeah so that series of events happens
[02:33:31] there which was crazy so I go into this shock effect where you know I'm unconscious and uh this is
[02:33:40] another one of those moments where the higher power thing I'm coming out of it and uh my left
[02:33:47] head my head's turned to my left and the door to my room opens I knew whoever was about to walk
[02:33:55] in the door like I just felt like a a spiritual presence like I just felt I knew whoever that was
[02:34:04] was a person of faith like personally got knew it knew no doubt about it felt it when the door
[02:34:10] opened the dude comes around the corner and introduce himself and it's the base chaplain
[02:34:16] and I was like okay well that's that and he said hey I'm I'm chaplain so I said I knew I knew
[02:34:27] before you even for our saw you so it was the door open like I felt I felt the presence of the
[02:34:35] higher being like I felt it I knew it and I get this really like he you could tell he was
[02:34:42] moved by it you know I wouldn't say it to both smoke up as I asked I just knew the dude was a man
[02:34:47] of God and I mean it again can't explain it so the whole thing the whole word faith comes in
[02:34:54] look it up sometime yeah you'd love it but the um so then he walks in and start talking to me so
[02:35:01] we have this long conversation of which I can't remember most of that's the next day is when I'm leaving
[02:35:07] and he brings his whole family head like four or five kids and his we brought his wife
[02:35:16] and all the nurses and I mean the airmen and the reserve Marines and army guys like made this
[02:35:25] lying on either side of the back towards at the bird and it was like I don't rate what you
[02:35:32] guys are doing but appreciate it like I can dig it right but I didn't I was just thinking like
[02:35:40] it's a little much but thank you you know and that was what it was like you know who the
[02:35:47] hell I'm on to take away from there right to honor their brother and like you know who am I to do that
[02:35:54] there's just showing love all the way not halfway and so of course me being me at the time
[02:36:02] I didn't look at it that way I was just like I'm naked in front of everyone type feeling
[02:36:07] I'm just uncomfortable right now and so they they blowed me up and we fly from um Scott to
[02:36:14] we're going to Bamsi and we stop over and oh it was it was all past so
[02:36:21] and on the way I can see the load master mouth to one of the other one of the other crewman
[02:36:29] we're about to fly around a tornado I read his lips and I'm like hey god like come on man
[02:36:37] throw a dude a bone like we're about I'm gonna survive all the stuff I've survived and if you let me
[02:36:43] get taken out by a tornado like we're gonna be fighting this bullshit but I'm just thinking like
[02:36:51] Murphy back off bro just back off but it's just this these little moments where you find light
[02:36:58] and these heavy situations and I didn't know that we were stopping in all past so we stopped
[02:37:04] in all past on our pissed why are we stopping and why aren't we in San Antonio?
[02:37:08] Well because we had to drop off someone who was gay I ain't in there should return in the
[02:37:14] body and I was like okay I'm a major dick like get it you know it was like shit could you
[02:37:23] told me that and they probably did tell me but I'm on so many drugs I'm gonna remember about
[02:37:27] point two seconds of an hour conversation I had with you so we get to San Antonio again my body
[02:37:33] was bad and me my body's good does the same thing it did it Scott and next thing I know I'm in the
[02:37:39] ICU again and now the OR and I end up doing 15 months in in BAMPSY and man every operation it was
[02:37:52] just more drugs more drugs more drugs more drugs the series of events happens at BAMPSY I'm the
[02:37:57] only marine there which I stated and it was bad because I mean you can only call a marine
[02:38:04] soldier so many times before I'm gonna let you know that that bothers me and if I wanted to be
[02:38:09] a soldier I would have joined the freaking army stop calling me a soldier let's just the marine
[02:38:14] thing it's a pride thing absolutely a freaking pride thing if you don't like it would you
[02:38:22] call trusty pull a soldier because if you would you're ignorant and my thing was is like just
[02:38:29] you'd allow some tact and so they ended up putting the the EGA the Marine Corps seal on my door
[02:38:37] and let just to let people know yeah same rules though you don't share my DNA and I know I say
[02:38:46] this marine don't come in my room still so I didn't meet I missed I missed out on meeting a lot
[02:38:54] of quote unquote famous people and and politicians that I'm sure they're because they care and
[02:39:02] a bunch of other people and it was because of that rule and then the secretary of the army
[02:39:07] or the surgeon general once started surgery was coming and they were like horrible
[02:39:12] trick we really you know we need you to wake up and shave and you're gonna come see the
[02:39:18] surgeon general and I was like okay yeah I'm gonna do that obviously I didn't and so I have
[02:39:27] people coming out to my room and they're like couple sheck this surgeon general's downstairs
[02:39:32] you were supposed to be in your electrical wheelchair down there meeting them and I'm like what
[02:39:35] part of my face has I give a shit that they're here I don't even know if it's a man or woman
[02:39:41] I don't care if they want to see me you know where my room is do I go to his or her office
[02:39:50] and say hey I'm gonna need you downstairs because I'm coming no no I don't there are
[02:39:57] persons just like me except they probably some tell you that pain levels probably not where mine
[02:40:02] is right now and no I'm not gonna shave either so you can just just eat a whole bag of
[02:40:09] dicks because I don't care and so again great patient really really good patient so you're
[02:40:18] the drugs at this point that they're putting you on mass all kind of pain killers and
[02:40:25] do you even is there any point where you start realizing like oh I'm not gonna be okay
[02:40:31] without these things I want them all the time not once so at this point no so you're just thinking
[02:40:36] that's just the way it is yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[02:40:39] I'm badly wounded I need paint killers part of the game yeah right part of the game and so
[02:40:44] at this point I'm thinking I have this is probably operation like 35 36 and it's so bad that they
[02:40:52] have me now I'm having a recover in the ICU after every operation because they have an monitor
[02:40:59] my breathing in my heart rate because I'm on so many drugs and so at this point they've given me
[02:41:04] what they feel like okay we cannot just give them more of any we can't give them more to
[02:41:11] a lot of them are all are fentanyl or etc etc so they give me this is the first time that I had
[02:41:17] experience after one of these operations ketamine and I was such a bad because the guy
[02:41:28] comes in to started ministering the ketamine and I'll never forget this and he goes he starts to
[02:41:35] minister through my one of my V come into my pickle on and he says that you fill it yet
[02:41:43] like nope keep pushing fill it yet no I started to fill it the second time he asked what I was like
[02:41:49] nope it's like oh all right fill the nope nothing this time I definitely fill it but I'm
[02:41:59] lying because again if one pill is good I bet you tens awesome my mind said right so the fourth time
[02:42:05] he asked me I might oh yeah all right my fill it and he was like okay because I just I don't think
[02:42:10] I've ever given any not much but they say your tolerance is really really high so you know what is
[02:42:16] well I mean I started I mean the door didn't even shut all the way and I started hallucinating my balls off
[02:42:22] I'm on so much ketamine you know the street apparently street terminology for a special K
[02:42:31] and I didn't even know like that was the thing and it was it was Narlie I mean I was seeing
[02:42:39] things that weren't there I was it was bad and I came out of that and I told my
[02:42:47] leaves physician that came I said don't ever I don't want that stuff anymore like that was not
[02:42:52] like that was not a cool high like it was bad I don't like it and there I go we're gonna
[02:42:57] have to put you back in the ice y'all's like I do not care I'll live in the ice you it's not like I'm
[02:43:02] in the rits okay if I'm in the ice you I'm in this room with four other dude like it doesn't matter
[02:43:08] whatever right and um obviously I developed a development of a reputation at BAMC and
[02:43:19] I'm attached to four three condoms there at the time and it's right out right by BAMC
[02:43:25] and there's one marine there that the day I got there he was right there and he was a staff
[02:43:32] sort of at the time and he told me when I got there he'd brother I'm gonna come see you every day
[02:43:40] in this with you well so did the I don't remember if he was the first one or a star major at the time
[02:43:47] said the same thing well there's a lot of cameras there you know seeing it in fox and crap because
[02:43:52] I'm you know the only marine or facility got some attention and so that guy says the same thing
[02:43:58] well I didn't see him again but the the first guy the staffs are every day man every day
[02:44:06] and he started like he would walk in and like tickle where my right foot should be and it
[02:44:12] would tick it was crazy because it would tickle and it would not be like that come on bro
[02:44:16] and he would he would just laugh and laugh he thought it was the best thing ever and it was just
[02:44:21] those little moments though those little nuances of time that would light make me forget that I was
[02:44:28] who I was and I was in the situation I was in that would make me realize you know if if I think
[02:44:38] it's that bad I would get when I was able to get mobile I remember actually that was an isolation
[02:44:46] when I showed up who's the second marine at Banssey and they told me hey there's another marine
[02:44:55] on deck just he's getting he just got here but then I'm thinking he's gonna make it my side I
[02:45:02] need to see I need to go see him right now like while you're in isolation I do not give a shit
[02:45:08] I'm gonna go see him right now or you're gonna have to kill me it's all the way I'm not seeing them
[02:45:12] so they're like okay and they get the little human train and train me up and put me in my
[02:45:21] black electrical church all the my black had a black thing was legit they took it from me though
[02:45:26] I put one too many holes in the walls of the don't drive your electric wheelchair
[02:45:32] and heavily medicated folks that's it but I go see Ty do you why right I want those to
[02:45:44] believe it or not I got one of those and but I go see Ty mind you this time at this point
[02:45:52] I still haven't gotten like emotional one time like it's since I left
[02:45:58] do love like I haven't gotten emotional from my family or otherwise still pretty
[02:46:04] squared away with the emhole emotion thing I go see Ty and I go into his room and he's
[02:46:11] completely wrapped up I mean the front half of his cranium was blown off I mean it was
[02:46:19] he was blind one I severely burned I mean bad I mean look like a mommy when I saw him
[02:46:26] no ears were burned off eyelids nose lips and I remember I had to yell at his nurse who's
[02:46:36] just giant black dude just giant black harming guy and I had to yell at him who had to then
[02:46:43] lean down and yell in the side of Ty's head so he could know what was going on and I just told
[02:46:51] him that told the nurse my guy and there's like hey brother I just want to come see my family
[02:46:55] because I heard another Marine was on deck and I was like right on and now we can take over this
[02:47:02] hospital and so I leaned down he said hey Ty another Marine and Ty like put up his is not like
[02:47:12] oh yeah Marines and and Ty whispered to the nurse and he said he wants to know like what are your
[02:47:19] injuries and I told him you know told him my injuries and uh started of course with you know
[02:47:25] a lost right leg didn't lose it you know he said I know where I went but told started with that
[02:47:31] and he was whist he was telling Ty as I'm telling the injuries and it's seen as a
[02:47:36] sin lost right leg like Ty holds up his right leg like still got mine was it down
[02:47:42] and the left leg got banged up Bob I'm Ty holds up his left leg and it was like doing this
[02:47:48] typical typical Marine banter right there considering the conditions we're in yet we're just
[02:47:58] gonna smoke and joke because that's what family does to get through the arc time you got to find
[02:48:04] light and regardless of how dark the situation is because if you don't they will kill you
[02:48:11] but I remember having this interaction with Ty and I left the room and I'm facing the
[02:48:19] nurse's station when I come out in the door shuts and I just completely and utterly broke down
[02:48:27] to the point of anger like I was I was sobbing in the angry I was so angry
[02:48:33] seeing him that way and seeing and I just like just yell like those bastards like what you know
[02:48:42] what why what are we doing what are we doing what are we doing what are we gonna do about that
[02:48:51] and it piss me off not only because here I see my brother that is never ever ever gonna be remotely
[02:48:59] the same as he ever was before but then it reminded me in a very abrupt manner who the hell are you
[02:49:10] to be acting the way you're acting because they're telling his family you better call
[02:49:19] anyone who wants to tell him goodbye because he's probably not gonna make it through the next 48 hours
[02:49:24] and here I was acting like a complete asset very much alive not having they weren't having to
[02:49:33] call anyone of my family or any of my friends because I was gonna make it at this point I'm gonna
[02:49:38] make it and that reminded me of it's not about you you just thought it was about you it's not about you
[02:49:48] and then that that one interaction taught me right then okay I need to go see every wounded person
[02:50:00] in this hospital as often as I can because that's where I found healing so that's what I did
[02:50:08] I saw every wounded person talked to all their families and that is when I realized that
[02:50:16] gather there's really something of the service of yourself because not only does it feed my
[02:50:22] soul it feeds theirs it's mutually beneficial and I learned if you're not willing to use
[02:50:38] whatever platform you find yourself in and to make yourself 100% vulnerable for whatever make um you
[02:50:47] will never make a difference you're waking up and choosing to be status quo
[02:50:55] and choosing to be average and I learned right then the great the great ones the ones that the
[02:51:04] history books are gonna rave about and that do rave about were consistently uncomfortable
[02:51:12] and consistently vulnerable and that was a great lesson for me to learn and I didn't make
[02:51:21] me any better than anyone else it just made me more susceptible to judgment which already had a
[02:51:30] ton of so I didn't care but I remember being and thinking about this pride of being a
[02:51:38] United States Marine and representing what that means and thinking about gunny you know the salty gunny
[02:51:46] back in Iraq and thinking how would he behave how would he react how would what would he do
[02:51:52] same thing about first order and I'm actually let's back up back to I'm gonna give an example of what
[02:52:00] being tribal truly means that you can't buy so I'm back into fes that my dad tells me
[02:52:07] hey Jake first order and greens gonna come see you and I remember thinking shit he's I'm sure he's
[02:52:16] pissed because I got hit and he's probably just gonna finish the job so I was terrified right I'm
[02:52:23] terrified because I I'm not only do I respect this man to the end to agree but I love this man
[02:52:31] and I was like I don't want to experience what I'm about to have to experience I'd rather
[02:52:38] take the cowards way out so I was like I'm sure I could like I'm I'm passed out when he walks in
[02:52:42] I'm on a lot of drugs that'll work so I hear not call the door I'm like here the door open
[02:52:52] I'm dead say you're getting your first one hurry at first horse walks in so I'm like
[02:52:56] I gotta pass out as soon as you bust the hatch and walks in my freaking heart monitor dime
[02:53:02] is me out because it goes from like the slow steady beep to the the rapid beep and I'm like
[02:53:09] I'm up there obviously this isn't gonna work and there is no plan to be I'm awake and he
[02:53:15] looks at my family I'm in my dad's in there my mom my step mom my aunt my cousins my brother
[02:53:24] my sister and my and he says hey Mr. guy you doing he's got that raspy voice I don't
[02:53:32] imagine being on the drill field as long as he was the help and he said we're doing our
[02:53:38] hanging in there first son he said it could go could go hey you want to have him in with my brother
[02:53:43] my dad was like sure you know go ahead first order like he was gonna turn around come talk to me
[02:53:49] there by in the room he looks right at my father and says yeah I'm gonna need y'all get to hell out
[02:53:56] and I was just thinking he's about to kill me right now so and he comes up to decide
[02:54:02] my bed and remember the only thing worse my right arm and first one it leans down he puts his
[02:54:09] right arm out as if to like pick me up and so I grab like I clap hands with him as if he's gonna
[02:54:17] pick me up right and he puts the back of his hand on my heart and the back with my hand on his
[02:54:26] and he leans down further and puts his forehead on my forehead and he sits there for about three minutes
[02:54:35] he stands up he packs me on my face and he walks out to this day
[02:54:42] this is one of the most powerful conversations I've ever had in my life and not one word was spoken
[02:54:49] that's being tribal that's tribal that goes much deeper than team you can't train them
[02:54:56] and he walks out of the room and obviously gets emotional when you walk out because my dad walks in
[02:55:03] and I get emotional as soon as you walk out because God forbid we try for him one another can't do that
[02:55:09] my dad walks in and sees me emotional and he went hey first one and he looks at me and
[02:55:14] like it was a possible look on his face and he just goes
[02:55:16] he marines a fricking weird I was like get out banker you're a banker and it was one of those
[02:55:27] moments man that only people who have bear the burden of a purpose much greater than themselves
[02:55:37] willingly and openly knowing what the odds could be what the odds are what the outcomes could be
[02:55:47] only the people that are willing to love all the way regardless of the amount of pain
[02:55:55] could understand and appreciate that moment I mean and I'm proud to say that that man's now the
[02:56:04] Sergeant Major of the United States Marine Corps there's not a more deserving individual I can think of
[02:56:14] because that guy that guy's one of the guys I found fall on the blood trail that taught me
[02:56:22] if you're gonna love doing it all the way don't waste anyones time doing the halfway thing
[02:56:28] that was an amazing moment that I will take to my grave cherishing knowing that
[02:56:38] that guy just told me without telling me it's okay to not be okay
[02:56:47] it's okay
[02:56:48] I what point did you realize that the drugs were a legit problem the day I was leaving San Antonio the
[02:57:09] the committee general the hospital was ended up getting pretty close to me at my time
[02:57:15] there my time there said came out and he's we're walking out or well he's walking I'm rolling
[02:57:22] I'm still not walking well at this point and he says I'm going to check out over
[02:57:28] it's four three con and he says you know Jake I feel like we should name a haul or something after
[02:57:36] you got for all the shit you put us there I was like hey sir let me do the infamy thing all I can
[02:57:41] let me handle I got it all my lonesome I don't need your help you know and
[02:57:49] he was like you know it's sad to see you go I'm it's I said why I'm I'm scared to death to leave
[02:58:02] and I remember I I basically got a giant bag of drugs before I went over to
[02:58:07] four three con the last thing I did with him was sign of page 11 and because I the higher
[02:58:16] out that told me I'm gonna be every day I told him when I thought about that when what I thought
[02:58:22] about him and so he showed me I'm making me sign of page 11 and I was like put it on my tab bro
[02:58:28] what's the page 11 slap on the wrist pretty much but you can't be promoted for I think it's
[02:58:34] 12 months with page 11 and so I was just like he was in DC at the time when I checked out
[02:58:42] and the gunny there was like hey he said he wanted to talk to you know it was like get him on
[02:58:46] speaker phone was taught and I said I told him when I thought about him it was inappropriate and
[02:58:53] I'm not sorry um but he's like you're in the page 11 and gunny was like oh do you want to
[02:58:59] contest this it's like hell no put it on my tab bro oh my wow and um man I had this bag of drugs
[02:59:08] and my brother met up there with me and my brother was gonna drive me the Florida where I was going
[02:59:15] checking a massive 21 and I knew right then because I was like okay at this point I'd already
[02:59:23] started like if I was eating one if I had a family member friend give me a fentanyl pop out of my
[02:59:29] bag of goodies like I would chew it I'd bite it off the stick chew it up and swallow it and
[02:59:34] just lay on the stick and I'd be like hey so who's gonna grab me a fentanyl pop like I
[02:59:38] jake we just gave you know you didn't you thought you did but you didn't I knew like because I was
[02:59:46] like hey listen if I just can't fill nothing matters if I'm completely numb nothing matters
[02:59:53] and then when they gave me that giant bag I was like oh shit I knew how I was gonna end
[03:00:02] well it was like yeah well this is like this is I don't remember they told me like a three months
[03:00:08] supply and I was like no this is like a three weeks supply and um man I started that's how I
[03:00:17] integrated I'm back into civilian society was high as a kite knowing that if I don't have to
[03:00:25] fill and I can do go through this thing numb nothing matters because if you can't fill it who cares
[03:00:34] you know I mean who cares and it was something that really was um it just got worse and worse
[03:00:41] I mean essentially what I did for a year and a half was chase my first high so I did and I
[03:00:50] was finally for about a year there I slept with an over and under 12 gay shotguns
[03:00:58] condition one next to my bed every night and every day I talk myself out of
[03:01:05] utilizing it to end my own life to to where I was almost at the point where I had decided
[03:01:19] why it was okay to do it and I had justified it in my head and why it would be better
[03:01:27] for everyone in my life and around my circle if I was gone and so I but then I was told by family
[03:01:43] that you know you shake the difference between and at this point I'm taking about 55 pills
[03:01:49] three times a day and I was eating between eight and twelve four hundred milligrams and I'll
[03:01:52] pass a day I was on enough medication to kill a village in Africa it was not really and
[03:01:59] the fact that I never indeed I mean there's no medical explanation for that and so I
[03:02:05] where were all the drugs coming from? You get them make a phone call get them home yeah
[03:02:11] and so it was that was the least of my worries on how to get the drugs because
[03:02:16] but and to be fair because I was on so much as I came out of the hospital it took a lot to keep me
[03:02:25] where I was I mean if I if I'm even ten minutes late was ten minutes late on one dose
[03:02:31] I'm starting to withdrawal I mean it was bad and so finally I get told you know the difference
[03:02:40] between you living the way you're living and eating a bullet is it's time but the outcome is the
[03:02:47] same you're just slowly killing yourself you look to your brothers it didn't come home and those
[03:02:53] that didn't still love and respect you to not only live but live well because that's the only
[03:02:58] way you can truly honor them is by living well I mean that hit me heart and I realized I'm being
[03:03:07] self-respected so what I'm doing I'm I'm carrying out every day like a victim and I'm not a victim
[03:03:17] I'm a victim I'm a victim I need to start acting like it and so I called my lead physician the next
[03:03:23] one and I said it didn't even do I can get off all the drugs so she said how you're going to do that
[03:03:27] so I'm just not taking the first dose just stopping she said I had highly advised against that
[03:03:33] so why is that so because you probably have a massive heart attack and die I said Roger that
[03:03:39] plan is no go what's planned you look like and she's like you're gonna have to come back to
[03:03:44] BAM see we're gonna have to ween you off the drugs which is not what I wanted to hear
[03:03:50] because it was like when I left him so you're already saying he had to go on like no need to ever come
[03:03:55] back here done do you and done and I was like oh shit all right and I went back there and started
[03:04:03] that process man and let me tell you something I consider and tell you a conviction I know
[03:04:09] why addicts they addicts because that slow withdrawal process of getting clean
[03:04:19] I mean this whole heartedly I don't know what was harder being blown up or getting clean
[03:04:28] I honestly don't know what was harder because I mean hell coming off the drugs they gave you drugs
[03:04:36] to help you come off the drugs and it's like I just you know what the frick it didn't there
[03:04:45] shot or something you can give me and I can get the hell out of here and but there's not how long
[03:04:49] was the process supposed to be six months so I did two and a half I was clean
[03:04:56] because I was like I'm not I can't continue to be this that that hardcore about face though I mean
[03:05:05] that that comment about look which I've said on this podcast many times like look we got to live
[03:05:10] to honor our brothers that didn't come home that's the way it is live well and you get you got
[03:05:16] to live the best possible life you can they don't have that opportunity that thought right there
[03:05:22] is what did it um no because again it was a myriad of things man because again you
[03:05:36] that was the the tipping point but again it's like the people that come over to say you know
[03:05:40] what's the problem is yeah okay I bet you there's more than one so that tipping point
[03:05:45] water some other contributing factors and the reason I'm asking you this so people are
[03:05:49] listening this right now and they're feeling the way you were feeling yep I got a phone call
[03:05:54] about the our first loss from our unit my is on hand and I was like that's done more than
[03:06:07] I thought that would sting and I can't do that to the tribe on top of that there's I can't
[03:06:15] I need to get my shift together and it's gonna be ugly and it's gonna be sloppy and it's not
[03:06:22] gonna be it's gonna be the antithesis of what it should look like but I owe that to them
[03:06:33] I owe that to him that is when I decided that you know what I'm gonna I'm going to try
[03:06:49] really hard to do this life thing the way that I'm supposed to do it I mean I'm gonna go out of my way
[03:07:04] to be to where when my brothers here my name they can smile and their chest can swallow a
[03:07:12] pride and they can say yeah that's my brother yeah that right there is that thing that I was talking
[03:07:22] about earlier like I don't care what anybody thinks when it comes to my brothers and what they think
[03:07:28] yeah that means a lot man yeah that cares it's shit on a way yeah that's that's the stuff
[03:07:33] it's the stuff that'll change the world so you so you go through the two and a half months
[03:07:43] and you get clean what's the temptation like once you're clean are you are you feeling like
[03:07:50] I mean is it always there what is it for a while bro for a while it's all day every day
[03:07:58] every time I leave my room or I have to talk to someone rather I'm related to him or not
[03:08:05] or got for a bit I have to go to like the mall or some shit all I thought about for a while
[03:08:11] was man this would be so much easier if I was I right now all the time so I thought about for a while
[03:08:19] what about booze yeah right so that's a that's a that's a pretty that's a pretty
[03:08:30] pretty good safety net and that go from one bad habit to another and you know my family
[03:08:37] doesn't need help and that every and either and so yeah I was like hey listen you know I mean
[03:08:42] I'm not on enough drugs to kill her elephants anymore so I can I could probably just start drinking now
[03:08:53] yeah so little that I realized how awesome food was when I got off all the drugs and I was like
[03:08:59] oh my god food is amazing and I love it because I was amazed the idea about when I went to Iraq
[03:09:05] I easily wait I was probably at 2205 solid I was in some of the best shape of all that
[03:09:10] ever in my life when I love Bansie I ain't always at 162 and then because all I did was
[03:09:19] no shit was drink get rid and capuccinos I didn't eat ever because you feel like you're starving
[03:09:27] like you're really hungry that's why you this saying go you'll never need a fat drug addict
[03:09:34] that's true because you your mind's gonna tell you like oh my god I'm starving then you eat one
[03:09:39] bite of something and it's like you ate an entire cow by yourself and it's just full and then so I
[03:09:47] immediately because we need to remember too there are a myriad of forms of self-medicating
[03:09:56] not just drugs and alcohol I mean it can go on and on and on
[03:10:03] well that's something we need to remember because there's gonna be some people out there that hear
[03:10:08] this and I'm like oh well you know I don't drink excess well you're on the on drugs
[03:10:15] well there's a lot of other avenues what else food oh god I mean porn
[03:10:29] let me exercise I mean there's a million things that you could do in excess
[03:10:33] that you think is gonna save you from your own head yeah it's like an escape right like an escape
[03:10:43] and it brings like that pleasure for that exact yeah you get the same you get the same in
[03:10:51] doorphones release the same that same dopamine and get that same feeling of oh this okay this
[03:10:58] yeah all right so because in all it is all it is is a protection mechanism to keep you from having
[03:11:09] to look inward and go deep into the thing underneath the thing underneath the thing it's all it is
[03:11:16] it's all it is and it's it's very very easy to do I mean because just being humans alone we
[03:11:24] are all addictive by nature I mean we are all to whatever it could be and so we have to be
[03:11:32] cognizant of the fact that you know there's we have to consistently remember that
[03:11:44] we are all always gonna be human we're always gonna be uncomfortable change
[03:11:51] most most people like regimented schedules they like to get up a certain time like a drink
[03:11:57] certain thing eat a certain thing workout a certain time go to lunch a certain time
[03:12:02] by nature all of us hate change anyone who's in a company that goes through a big
[03:12:08] transnis for a big change you know what I'm talking about but we always have to remember that
[03:12:15] just like in the Marines we always say temper gumby the more comfortable you get being uncomfortable
[03:12:27] the happier you're gonna be so at what point in this you get clean what point do you decide
[03:12:40] you're gonna do something significant to try and help other people and you start
[03:12:44] you actually wanted to kill great question well I didn't decide it it was my grandmother told me
[03:12:50] hey I want you to come speak to my rotary club and you know being a man from the south you
[03:12:59] don't tell your grandmother no so I was like okay I'm gonna reluctantly do this and hate it the
[03:13:05] entire time and I did and I showed up and I was easily 40 years by at least 40 years the junior
[03:13:12] in the room so I start telling my story and I'm sweating grenades so uncomfortable I could think about
[03:13:22] was like I would love to just crush like 10th and I'll pop right now and it was horrific I mean it was
[03:13:31] a freight train screwing on abortion it was bad but so it was one of those things that like but
[03:13:38] you can't look away type thing it was one of those but I remember walking out of there and I walked
[03:13:43] out of the building I'll never forgive the side of the building and I took a deep breath like
[03:13:51] you made it and then I took that deep breath I was like huh I feel lighter
[03:13:58] I mean not physically my soul fell lighter and I was like oh then it clicked that's what she was
[03:14:09] doing it's tactical therapy I get it that freaking broad she got me because I was I refused to talk to
[03:14:22] I talked to the sidecasters once I got to the hospital and then when I left then when I was getting
[03:14:30] out of the Marine Corps for the VA process and that was it so two or three times because I had nothing
[03:14:37] to say to them was that PTSD that's in TBI thing it's not whatever it's not a real thing
[03:14:43] when I got clean and started to drink and I was like oh shit let's PTSD to TBI I think
[03:14:54] are very, very, very real like very, and I moved came back to what back taxes and I was
[03:15:04] introduced to a couple guys who started to foundation down there and there a couple of seals
[03:15:14] to this day great friends of mine mentors of mine brothers for sure and I called Flipper one in
[03:15:21] Flipper two and that's when I was kind of introduced to the nonprofit world and working with
[03:15:30] warriors and their families and first responders and law enforcement officers and their families
[03:15:39] you know it was like they clicked with me like I like I like this I'm never going to get rich or
[03:15:48] wealthy doing this and that's not the point that gave me more that put more in my soul tank
[03:15:58] than any pill or any bottle ever did and it made me realize like oh all right this is the same
[03:16:08] reason I went and visited all the wounded every time I could even we lost guys and the hospital
[03:16:15] like this is why I'm doing this it's greater than me it reminds me daily how insignificant I am
[03:16:24] that I'm just another guy that's just using the do stuff that's out of the norm it's hard stuff
[03:16:37] we have anything we're doing should be should be hard it's not we're doing alone
[03:16:42] and when I was working with this organization I was surrounded by people better than me
[03:16:46] by default I was better and consistently pushed harder and harder because I wanted to be held
[03:16:57] with different standards again because even then I wasn't waking up like I'm gonna go out
[03:17:02] my way to be average today no because I had two freaking navy seals that you know we're worried
[03:17:11] they had to have really good tans and they're there had to be great and they had to have this
[03:17:16] one type of really cool sunglasses and I was like hey what I'm gonna do is just I'm just gonna
[03:17:24] work these dudes yeah I can't use a weapon anymore I'm not gonna outrun them God knows I'm not gonna
[03:17:31] out swim a pride can out shoot them I'm about to simply dig up but I could probably home
[03:17:44] yeah I could probably work with the most important tool we all have no important weapon we all have
[03:17:52] I could probably get to where I could out think them so I started to to this date
[03:17:59] it's it's toss up but oh with one of them one of them I passed them all time ago but
[03:18:07] they know they are too that's what makes it even more beautiful but that's when I realized
[03:18:12] like all right I need to be this is what I gotta do this is this is what I'm gonna be called to do
[03:18:20] is to talk to other members of society who've been dealt whatever hand or been dealt a
[03:18:30] blow to let them know like hey yeah right now it sucks but you can come out the other side
[03:18:39] because don't get in that deep darker abit hole don't do that because very few people come out of that
[03:18:46] I know because I tried it over and over again and I never got out of it on my own always took help
[03:18:55] and so at the time in 2012 that's when the study came out from the VA
[03:19:02] on average 22 veterans a day die by suicide and so another marine and a couple of marine's
[03:19:12] business guy got together and Dallas and they're like hey man we gotta do something this is
[03:19:20] you know this is this is our family no one even knows this is a thing with the hell are we doing
[03:19:28] and at the time I'm working at a place that focuses completely on the brain
[03:19:35] I'm surrounded by neuroscience this PhD's MD's and I'm learning a lot of things that
[03:19:48] just reiterated the fact that post-managed stress, rag, brain injury these are very, very
[03:19:53] real things and I worked there for three years while 22 kills started and it basically started
[03:20:00] as an awareness movement and that's where the push-up challenge was born the 22 push-up challenge
[03:20:07] I was started by 22 kills in 2012 this was this and that went viral in 2016
[03:20:14] so you know overnight success is not a real thing and so I'm working at this center of the whole time
[03:20:24] and then there's some change up and leadership at 22 kills and I kind of found myself drifting
[03:20:30] away from the work I was doing at the center because it just wasn't it wasn't getting to the
[03:20:38] part of the soul that I wanted to be in and it wasn't getting to that like people I've been
[03:20:44] asked like how how long are you gonna speak because give the travel schedule you know it's brutal right
[03:20:50] and I thought about it for an end on second I thought okay well when I walk off a stage
[03:20:57] the first time I walk off a stage and I feel like I didn't leave a piece of my soul there
[03:21:02] that's the last time I'll do it because again it's mutually beneficial
[03:21:09] and if it's not then in your presenter you're only gonna fake it for so long
[03:21:17] people don't really that's like I feel like I ran a marathon when I'm done presenting for an hour
[03:21:22] I'm mentally physically and emotionally exhausted and if you're not you're faking it
[03:21:30] and so that's when I I left there and you know what I learned after three years
[03:21:35] or working at that place let's completely centered around the brain and the mind
[03:21:40] and it's unfortunate but essentially I learned after three years at that place I said we don't know
[03:21:46] shit about the brain that I mean again I mean I'm not gonna can't decode it it's just
[03:21:56] is what it is why do you think we're still still spending billions and billions of dollars
[03:22:03] on all this research and all these studies and trying to figure it out
[03:22:07] because we just don't understand it that's why we you know we you talk about all
[03:22:11] timeers and CTE we don't even have the technology and the imaging to recognize these things
[03:22:18] in a living human we put a man on the moon in 1969
[03:22:25] can't tell you if you have CTE wire life you know for me it's like hey let's step back and look at
[03:22:33] our priorities because one thing everyone's got is a brain everyone and the problem with the brain
[03:22:43] is there's no prosthetic for that you get the one you got and that's it why are we not
[03:22:51] hyper focused on honing this weapon that makes us who we are and so I the twins you kill
[03:23:00] approached me and said hey we would love for you to come run 22 kill we can keep the lights on for
[03:23:06] about another month and a half and you don't get health insurance and you're gonna have to take
[03:23:13] pick up I was like let me think about it absolutely yes because I want to be able to talk
[03:23:22] and share what I've been through with warriors and first responders and law enforcement
[03:23:31] officers and their families and say hey listen you see that score like that one's worth it
[03:23:39] with some over here don't do that that one's not worth it you're gonna have to fight these demons
[03:23:45] there's no way around it but you can win you just have to keep fighting
[03:23:51] because no matter what no matter where you find yourself in life you're gonna have to fight
[03:23:57] because none of us are getting up and picking out our unicorn we're just not
[03:24:05] yeah you wake up every day and it's you versus you and so that's why I was drawn to that and
[03:24:12] we had a really big first couple years I was there and not all cause I mean it's had to do
[03:24:23] with a myriad of people the people that support us the people that say one of my biggest
[03:24:27] regards was never serving and I'm like hey who told you who lied to you and said that you
[03:24:33] have to wear a uniform to be a service to your nation because you don't you don't that's
[03:24:42] a that's a misnomer I don't wear uniform anymore I mean they do you I mean they do you
[03:24:49] doesn't mean we're not serving I don't do what I do because it's easy
[03:24:58] I do it because it's hard and the employees they work for 20s who can do it because it's hard
[03:25:05] and then the face of tremendous loss they fight on that's character they're doing their
[03:25:17] dash justice because they're moving a mountain that our own government looks at and says hey
[03:25:23] pick up the corner that rug and start sweeping and look the other way and maybe it'll go away
[03:25:29] it's not going away what can people that are listening do to help the cause you know I got this
[03:25:46] kind of buddy of mine who was actually an officer in the army who's really wounded years ago and
[03:26:01] I'm gonna echo it just because he's right it's you hear all the time like I want to help
[03:26:07] I don't know right me here a lot from reverts you know I want to I want to help save the
[03:26:16] puppies that don't have a home I tell people all the time if we were trying to raise money
[03:26:21] for dogs that died back so that we'd be sitting on a billion dollars it's true I mean it's just true
[03:26:28] I mean how many dogs are screwed over a person very few right but it is what it is
[03:26:37] but if you want to wake up and you want to serve or you want to help we all have three things
[03:26:48] of value every human on this entire spin and ball of shit has three things of value
[03:26:55] time talent and treasure and if you're not willing to sacrifice some of one of those three things
[03:27:02] you're just talking that's it you're talking if you want to help start sacrificing one of those three
[03:27:12] things I don't care if it's 22 k. I don't care if it's to the humans aside I don't care
[03:27:21] sacrifice because every time we put on that uniform and our firefighters and our
[03:27:31] paramedics and our EMTs and our law enforcement officers I mean tell me if you would feel as
[03:27:36] confident as you did going to a foreign country going to hook in jab find the bad guys and kill them
[03:27:45] tell me if you would have felt as confident doing that knowing that there are people back here
[03:27:53] whom you've never met while in the kick in the door to your house while it is a blaze and save your family.
[03:28:04] I mean I think all those people every single time I do this podcast and that's exactly what I say
[03:28:09] for taking care of our home while we were gone that's absolutely and so that's why it's
[03:28:17] for me if you're not willing to sacrifice just like these men and women do on a daily basis
[03:28:25] you're talking you're talking if there's people out there that can write a check and that's enough
[03:28:31] and that's okay that's okay you're doing your part you're doing your part that's all right
[03:28:40] there are people that want to share talents there are people that say hey I want to volunteer I'm a body
[03:28:45] used me I'm here that's service that's sacrificing and we have a myriad of ways to do it and it's
[03:28:55] a beautiful thing because we're getting better and better at what we're doing because we're not
[03:29:01] doing research and studies we're implementing the things that work and we're able to tell these men
[03:29:08] and women because it's notorious in the warrior community and you're gonna know right when I said
[03:29:15] when you see a brother okay bro you good how are you I'm good okay how do we get you great
[03:29:26] because I want you great does greatness but gets greatness that's that's the living well piece
[03:29:41] and we have to do it as a tribe together I don't give a shit if you ever put a uniform on the
[03:29:47] day in your life if you're willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with people that experience trauma
[03:29:55] before the trauma and they know they've got a thing underneath of thing underneath of thing
[03:30:01] and you're willing to say hey let's go start picking up pebbles and moving them because we'll
[03:30:05] move this mountain it's gonna be long and an arduous and a painstaking process but look to your
[03:30:11] left and right that's what makes it worth it and we're doing that and we're just getting better at it
[03:30:19] and yeah it's stressful and yeah I hate fundraising and yeah I hate it but it all comes with it
[03:30:27] it comes with the territory so some people are gonna want to so what 22 kill dot com is that the best place to
[03:30:34] go look yeah go to tooncykill.com read about learn about what we're doing learn about the things that we've
[03:30:42] decided to really engage our focus on and why we're we're not just helping and treating the warrior
[03:30:55] the first father law enforcement officer it's the we want to the entire family because
[03:31:03] when you have when you pull up to the tire shop and you have four bat tires you can't you're not
[03:31:09] gonna change just one tire right you gotta change it all four we got to treat the family as a unit
[03:31:18] because I'm speaking from experience so I say we leave a big wake in our path
[03:31:25] and I would not be surprised if my family has post-match trust just from dealing with me
[03:31:32] and the sad thing is I'm not joking you know I was thinking about the nurses and doctors
[03:31:41] you left in the hospital as well as you mentioned earlier they're better people because of
[03:31:45] dealing with me so it's but I mean listen man we're and just so people note
[03:31:52] 22 kill dot com they're like well don't you have to be dot org the or you know no
[03:31:57] that's you listening to the media got for bed do your own homework figured out it's
[03:32:05] you can have dot org dot com dot net doesn't matter that does not denote if you're a five
[03:32:10] or one see three or not just for the record and we have our saying it's 20 to kill and I came on
[03:32:18] I changed it to one tribe one fight because you hear all the time in the military especially one team
[03:32:25] one fight one team one fight and I was around some guys you use the we're tribe and
[03:32:34] I thought about it in the more and more I thought about it I'll speak in one time
[03:32:39] remember where I was but I went to say one team one fight but I said one tribe one fight
[03:32:47] and it's because it's too easy to be a team if you if you have the same letterhead
[03:32:52] on your business cards or you have the same insignia on your shirt that makes you a team
[03:33:04] the tribe goes way deeper than that the tribe is when my first artist put his forehead
[03:33:11] against mine it doesn't say a word yet I learned a life lesson and I get the acceptance
[03:33:21] that I was longing for without even speaking that's a tribe is driven by the same
[03:33:27] ideals the same conviction the same passion I get asked all the time like why do you think why are we
[03:33:33] still a war or I reckon I've got a saying I'll see because you can't kill your way out of an idea
[03:33:42] that's why
[03:33:43] that's what it is God forbid we call it that but just with us we so we have programs like
[03:33:55] Camp Baha'ala which is a program where we can we take up words first responders law force
[03:34:02] and officers the most in the early side of it is we're taking them up in the helicopter
[03:34:07] and taking them to kill hogs out of helicopter like as if you don't like that then you don't
[03:34:13] like freedom but we you know we also you you can take them fishing you can take them to the range
[03:34:20] we can but there it's always followed up by fireside chat that's where the money's made
[03:34:29] that's where you got to be vulnerable you'll get your adrenaline kick and then be willing to
[03:34:36] lower your wall and talk about the real shit you know then we have stay the course which is that's
[03:34:43] a traditional therapy that's the this is the you can't be holiday non-traditional stay the course
[03:34:48] is very traditional it's the one-on-one therapy with the warrior first owner his or her family
[03:34:54] and listen the reason that that was an attractive approach was because if you look back on what is
[03:35:02] the most successful outcome measures as far as therapy goes and as far as treating matters of the mind
[03:35:09] that has the best track record the one-on-one I think everyone on the spin and ballicator
[03:35:15] I should talk to professional way the least once a month every single person and I'm saying that
[03:35:22] is the guy that I would I would launch my piss bottle in the hospital that wanted to come in my room
[03:35:28] now I'm telling you right now I wish I had started that a long time ago because it would have
[03:35:34] saved me from a lot of shit I've had to do with because I let my pride win that's it I mean don't
[03:35:42] be afraid to say what it is we started a thing called the Brave Program which is women's specific
[03:35:49] because believe it or not neither sex knows everything that just don't there's power numbers but
[03:36:01] women when you break it down you break the numbers down to the bare bones they're leading the
[03:36:06] charge and everything in a negative light and that's I think it has a lot to do with there a
[03:36:10] much smaller population when it comes to the service community so there are more apt to be ice to
[03:36:16] do one self-medication isolation you know and then and they don't have nearly as big as a
[03:36:24] immediate tribe to depend on as we do because they're just way less of them and so that's that's
[03:36:31] our Brave Program and they can go do all the things that all the guys do but it's women's specific
[03:36:39] because they need to be empowered to and it's our job to help them do that without judgment
[03:36:44] and we also have the white star families program that we're building out which is basically
[03:36:50] you have the gold star families which started by the DOD well fortunately the white star families
[03:36:54] don't have a seat at that table white star families they're family family members who fall and
[03:36:59] victim to suicide and we want to give them a table they deserve a damn table as you talk to those kids
[03:37:09] they don't give a crap out of their mom or dad they just know they don't have a mom or dad
[03:37:12] that's enough for me far be it for must and I honor someone like Lewis Pooleur who the hell are we
[03:37:23] I don't give a crap what society says that the how I should feel about that
[03:37:30] it's let me tell you something this is something everyone he's known unfortunately I bet a lot of
[03:37:34] your listeners do know already so it's such just a word until it affects you personally
[03:37:39] it's just a word and I hear a lot where there's some corporations or owners of a mom and
[03:37:48] pop shop well Jake you know we would love to support you but 22 kills are pretty strong name
[03:37:55] so's cancer and AIDS it's supposed to get your attention that's the point start the conversation
[03:38:03] because you know we hear all the time knowledge is power no it's not and I'll just power when it's
[03:38:08] shared then it becomes powerful and I tell people just like it I'll tell you if you can't support us
[03:38:17] because of a name if you can't look past a name to get to the root cause of an issue consider yourself
[03:38:23] part of the problem it's that all you're doing is feeding a stigma that's killing
[03:38:30] the best men and women this nation's got to offer well I'll tell you what I think that's probably a
[03:38:39] pretty good place to wrap we've been going for a while and especially because you just
[03:38:49] made very clear the reason why I wanted to have you come on this podcast now because you know
[03:38:56] again this ties everything together that I've been talking about for the past three podcasts
[03:39:03] you know you got a guy like Lewis Polar Jr
[03:39:10] and we got to do something yeah cause it's still going on and you're out there and you're
[03:39:25] people on the front lines fighting it and you know I was watching a video that you had on your
[03:39:29] YouTube channel and it's just pictures pictures soldiers pictures of Marines pictures of service
[03:39:38] men and women and they're just coming up on the screen and it's all them you know in their
[03:39:43] uniforms and overseas and back home and and I know what each one of those pictures is
[03:39:57] and so I thank you for coming on obviously thanks for your service and thanks for everything you've
[03:40:04] done and thanks for your sacrifice and thanks for what you're doing right now
[03:40:10] well let me tell you I learned a long time ago as you're guys like us you know the mead
[03:40:25] and the knuckle dryers the odd you I'm sick of you're in the thank you shirt service
[03:40:31] you know it was impossible for me for a long time to go in the public place
[03:40:35] because if I'm wearing shorts and a t-shirt it's abundantly apparent I had a shitty day at
[03:40:40] the office somewhere along the line it was impossible for me to get anything done go buy bread and
[03:40:46] go home without someone stopping me and I hated that afternoon there yeah thank you for your
[03:40:52] service I was like man so annoying I don't want to just want to get bread and go
[03:40:58] well you'll never done on me until few years ago maybe they're doing that for them
[03:41:06] maybe it's as much for them as it is for me and then that's all about why I signed up
[03:41:15] because I it's because I thought they were worth it thought their families were worth it
[03:41:20] so I was told one time I thank you when I said you're worth it
[03:41:24] two things happened the conversation ended there and secondly they probably walked out of there
[03:41:35] a little taller than they walked in and I was like oh thanks God I get it now not about me
[03:41:43] I'll tell you just like it's all them your worth it your families worth it
[03:41:50] all you're listening is I feel the same way even though guaranteed I'm gonna have a
[03:41:54] million differences with a million different of them it worth it I do it all again tomorrow
[03:42:01] I said a bad day at the office and you know it's I just want to leave your listeners with this
[03:42:08] is that there's power just trust me when I tell you there's so much power we're about to start
[03:42:16] this thing called the tribal council which I think is gonna it's a peer to peer support group and I think I'm
[03:42:26] praying to God that it has the power behind it that I think it does
[03:42:31] where and I'm gonna leave the jars I'll be the first one to stand up on the soap box
[03:42:36] I'm just gonna open up my chest cavity pour my soul out in front of a group of people I've never met
[03:42:41] and say here's the shit I know with here's what I've been through this is what I'm doing to address
[03:42:48] it and this is how you can hold me accountable who's next there's a lot of power in that
[03:42:58] because we have to remember in our community you hear all the time be accountable to yourself be
[03:43:04] accountable to your brothers be accountable to your sisters
[03:43:06] unless you have brutal honesty first you have manufactured accountability
[03:43:17] so when I ask you how you're doing don't tell me good to appease me because I'm gonna call you on the
[03:43:24] shit be great you know so thank you I'm gonna turn it back on you thank you for doing what you're
[03:43:34] doing because dude you're you're tip of the spirit just like anyone like you are leading the
[03:43:41] charge this wasn't easy for you to do what you had me come here to do and do when you talked about
[03:43:48] Chessie when you talked about Louis Jeir when you had me this is not the popular thing to do
[03:43:58] but you said I've never been okay with the status quo why start now
[03:44:02] so thank you for everything you've done and continue to do well I'll tell you this is
[03:44:09] it's literally an honor to be able to do this people throw that word around all the time it
[03:44:13] isn't honor for me to sit here it's an honor for me to sit here with you all the guests
[03:44:17] have had on here to be able to tell these stories that I I'm sick sometimes that they're they're
[03:44:25] not carried on and it's an honor for me to be able to pass on these stories so that people know
[03:44:32] and people can learn and it's it's a humbling experience to do it as well because being in the
[03:44:40] shadow of people like these guys people like yourself it's it's a humbling experience to be around
[03:44:49] warriors like that from all phases of history and we're gonna keep doing it and when you get
[03:44:59] that program rolling get your ass back on here we'll talk about it we'll talk about how it's going
[03:45:05] and we'll get the word out on that thing too right on also don't threaten me with a good time
[03:45:12] echo Charles yes you got a quickly quickly
[03:45:16] if anybody wants to support themselves I have a question first man I knew that was coming
[03:45:23] is that a common stereo type about Navy seals they got to go tanning they need the cool
[03:45:29] sunglasses they mean nice hair not really jockel though you don't go tanning no no the stereo
[03:45:36] typical seal thing was something that I didn't like you know I didn't like it and the
[03:45:44] older I got the more I disliked it and it's you know but it's a reality of you know
[03:45:52] especially during that during the 80s 90s for all the 80s 90s were the reputation but you know
[03:45:58] the guys in Vietnam too man those guys like like in Vietnam they wore blue jeans in the field
[03:46:04] they you know because they kept off leeches and they were tougher but then you know guess what
[03:46:08] that turns into like something where guys at some guy in 1992 is wearing blue jeans with his
[03:46:14] candies and it's like oh no he's the new that bro now where I show up at the teams it was like hey
[03:46:20] we you know I want to have long hair and be like a cool guy we you did oh yeah yeah for sure
[03:46:26] there's somebody just put a picture out on the interwebs of me with long hair like circa 1991
[03:46:32] yeah yeah the long side burns and everything because I wanted to be joke cool and but what happened
[03:46:38] was well number one the war started number two I started working really closely with conventional
[03:46:44] forces on my first deployment a little bit on my second deployment ton also I did multiple
[03:46:49] shipboard deployments where I worked with Marines very closely even when I was young and yeah so I
[03:46:56] just it was one of those things that like when I would hear it at first I would be like oh that's
[03:47:03] no big deal but then what I realized was it was a real thing when you when you were in the stereotype
[03:47:07] as I moved into leadership positions and I would hear that stereotype I realized it was a real thing
[03:47:14] and that that real thing wasn't it wasn't funny it wasn't funny because when you when you
[03:47:19] eat a meta a Marine Corps battalion commander and you have long hair your uniform doesn't look right or you
[03:47:26] meet an army battalion commander or an army brigade commander or a senior or a gunney sergeant
[03:47:34] or a company first sergeant when you meet one of them somebody that's been in the Marine Corps for
[03:47:39] 23 years and you can't put on and blouse your your pants and your boots it doesn't matter how good
[03:47:46] you are in the field they're looking at you and thinking oh this guy can't even blouse boots I don't
[03:47:50] want him around that's so that stereotype even though it had definitely was rooted in truth like
[03:47:58] hey man when we got to her body everyone had shape heads everyone had square away uniforms didn't
[03:48:01] allow patches we talked about them before you know we we had guys like if we could we put a whole
[03:48:06] element in army camouflage uniform so ace use they just look like army sir yeah so I was against it
[03:48:13] but I get the humor of it and I have you know I don't take anything that personally thanks
[03:48:19] so okay so it's a stereotype like in at work can I thought he meant maybe like out at the club
[03:48:25] or whatever like you know need seals tend to be more into you know what's funny is you know
[03:48:30] who made a joke about this Tim Kennedy we were here we were recording the podcast
[03:48:34] Tim Kennedy was literally doing a photo shoot and he was like he's got long hair and he was like
[03:48:40] oh you know I'm not like Hollywood seal and I was like dang dude I don't have hair yeah
[03:48:47] yeah I'll tell you why let me give it give you the the Barney version of everything he just said
[03:48:54] this is one of the things I dig about jocca and it has nothing to do with this following
[03:48:58] or what he did it's because because he he's authentic and he's intentional and everything that he
[03:49:07] does and we should long to be around that a lot more yep I'm gonna have to go ahead and agree
[03:49:17] with you on that one so that's when you sort of learned hey hairs just to look good this is
[03:49:24] after you shave your head by the way yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure does it mean anything else
[03:49:29] I'm here to win yeah but that's that was that was me growing up in the teams yeah yeah you know
[03:49:35] that's why Tim Kennedy was gonna hear this I was making fun of making fun of my well he was
[03:49:41] making fun of my uh people yeah yeah your people of the above my people having long hair but he had
[03:49:48] long hair and doing a photo shoot you know who said that you know Matt Baster at Matt Baster
[03:49:53] on one of his videos he's he he he alluded to that oh it's no it's real yeah it's a real no and
[03:49:59] it's a real thing and Tim Kennedy is a hundred percent right seal because because yeah there's
[03:50:04] there's some seals where you're like oh I know 100 percent let me tell you one thing I I I just
[03:50:11] object to in in a real strong way somebody using some kind of hair product right like that's no
[03:50:21] that's a no more than tanning that's a no oh no one actually tan so that's not a real thing
[03:50:26] oh it's a real thing I was on the I was on the I was on the org and the nineties and there was the
[03:50:33] there's the marine recon guys and they straight up had the foil like reflectors under their
[03:50:41] chin's out when they were sun tanning I got to kick out of that but it doesn't matter it doesn't
[03:50:46] matter if they that there was a dozen recon marines out in in speedos straight up tanning with baby oil
[03:50:54] it doesn't matter the reality was the seals were the voluauly would tanning guys that's the
[03:50:58] way it is that's okay that's what you got to do at the same time bro to though it'll be very clear
[03:51:05] that it's me'd saying it or Tim Kennedy or Matt or okay that's one thing okay
[03:51:14] but if like if Joe public civilian says something that's like hey bro yeah yeah
[03:51:23] I don't know that Joe public would actually know that yeah that's what we roll out oh if we
[03:51:30] rolled out all the stereotypes for the services like marines dumb jarhead uh crayon the crayon thing
[03:51:38] that's the big marine core one what crayon crayon either yeah crayons that's like legit thing
[03:51:44] the the army's got there you know who the things and you know we don't have that kind of
[03:51:50] all that kind of thing going on uh green braise you know smoking cigarettes you know that's what
[03:51:57] the seals would say like oh yeah they're over there smoking cigarettes and even donuts you know so
[03:52:01] it's just little stereotypes that have some some bases of reality but you know you can't put
[03:52:09] a stir so that's why stereotypes are stereotypes there's some levels of reality to it but
[03:52:12] they're the reality so you can't blank in a whole organization with any of those so that's the way it
[03:52:19] goes all right bro next time you go tanning you're gonna walk you solid the jocca will
[03:52:26] tan it all right well there it is we cleared that up thank you for that of course here
[03:52:32] it oh and you know oh yeah I can talk about some ways to support the the podcast as well
[03:52:38] do you know do you know what this is I'm gonna teach you something right now oh yeah yeah
[03:52:42] when you the train no no no no the big the big group in the field means
[03:52:47] don't pick it up you come to the pace got you all right let's do it all right cool well
[03:52:54] if you want support the spot yes and yourself of course doing a double thing go to
[03:52:59] originmain.com okay originmain.com this is where you can get jocos supplements for your joints
[03:53:04] first of all that's that's a big one you know you know you're starting to sound like what just so you know
[03:53:09] what not the radio again yes no not the radio is 100% not was 100% not was 100% not a thing
[03:53:14] thanks Jake see redo it dude you were like you were like I I believe you okay
[03:53:25] originmain.com main the state main origin main.com this is where you can get jocos supplements
[03:53:32] super krill oil for your joints important super important no that was good solid proof yeah
[03:53:39] and it's true by the way also another supplement called discipline that's what this one is right here
[03:53:44] it's like a cognitive in hand sir and being in some caffeine in there some good stuff some
[03:53:49] is there there's some vitamins in here there's a good one there's a really good one I mean take
[03:53:53] before you do something that you gotta use your brain and your body which is cool also
[03:54:00] mook mook is out it's protein powder jocos what I didn't like believe or not I did too
[03:54:06] I did turn to I got it you know I put it together wasn't that crafty
[03:54:14] well there it is boom and mook tasty yeah mint chocolate chip and way way you're coming out with a new
[03:54:23] yeah but that we're working that those won't be out for a little bit so there's new discipline coming
[03:54:27] out it's new flavor one of the flavors yeah what are flavors is it's I don't know if this is okay
[03:54:36] right we might have to rebrand it something else because it can't be jocco if it is
[03:54:42] coconut pineapple here it's tasty okay so here's what I can't believe it so anyway so jocco's
[03:54:49] hardcore right authentic authentic hardcore right it's good okay so one of the main
[03:54:57] important issues with developing these supplements which are good supplements by the way
[03:55:02] is taste is that hardcore does that seem hardcore do you he thinks that I would like
[03:55:09] when I originally was making supplements he thought that that my I would have no priority on taste like
[03:55:14] if it tastes bad doesn't matter right does it suck it it's actually better if it tastes
[03:55:18] to that false that counter okay I wasn't thinking but you could think that again that I
[03:55:23] didn't know what in order to drink this you could just gotta get like you just gotta
[03:55:26] grit your teeth and get song potentially like hey if that happens it happens kind of like if
[03:55:30] it's not like if it's not like I don't feel that way because the reality is when
[03:55:33] supplements taste like crap you don't eat it so then what's the point yeah so there you go
[03:55:38] the flank that's what he did that's what that is the flank with the taste nonetheless
[03:55:43] taste good and I think peanut collada pineapple coconut whatever I think that's a good idea
[03:55:50] hey how much to our whole way root yes oh my people in Hawaii yes and most by the way is
[03:55:57] mint chocolate chip yeah mint chocolate there's no chips there's no chips good point
[03:56:02] same kind of feel I've never heard without chips kind of terrible for a little bit tough to deal
[03:56:09] way yeah it will taste good though we can we can run that yeah reports are in good
[03:56:16] very good also oh I hear good things about the mixability too right now oh just that's a big deal
[03:56:22] by the way yeah it's a pain in that also geez and rash cards we're still an origin main
[03:56:27] by the way dot com origin main dot com geez and rash cards if you're into jujitsu when you get
[03:56:32] into jujitsu you can have the question and I still we still get that kind of what geez should I get
[03:56:37] get an origin key boom there you go also rash cards compression gear and sweat suits and whatnot
[03:56:43] most comfortable sweat suits in the world proven 100% also the immersion camp jujitsu immersion camp
[03:56:51] boom in main lake echo layers one week two sessions starts August 26 and September 2nd
[03:57:04] label be there the berk will be there I will be there jap is jap you're gonna be jap is scheduling
[03:57:10] trying to schedule it at this time wait so life is going may if is going and of course you can't say
[03:57:16] like full confirmed right slights aren't booked yet or whatever but right when I talked to leave the other day
[03:57:21] he was let's just call it real fired up yeah that's the that's the plan boom life in the game
[03:57:28] um Dave of course me yeah and and jac was going knowing you know in your rib no injury rib this time
[03:57:33] you know in a row jac you're gonna be good go to origin main dot com to see all of these things and
[03:57:41] you know you see something you like get something also on it dot com slash jackel you can get fitness gear
[03:57:49] kettlebells steel bells jump ropes a lot of good stuff on there I got some soap from them
[03:57:56] interesting interesting yeah just to see what it was you know they have some good stuff
[03:58:01] approved I disapprove and it used it uh just came in a report back on my silent good good
[03:58:07] good spot on it dot com slash jackel also when you buy these books for chinetson marine life
[03:58:12] of chesty puller or any of the books that jackel reviews on this podcast what he did
[03:58:19] went to uh jackel podcast dot com little section called books from the episodes got them all listed
[03:58:26] there by episode click through their boom ticket Amazon shop by those books or a leaf lore
[03:58:32] or whatever he isn't gonna buy just carry on shopping that's you know do you think good way to
[03:58:37] support very good also the alternative is we do like 40 minutes of advertisements in the
[03:58:46] I don't have a problem with that that's not happening well yeah you're kind of anti-advertisements
[03:58:52] as far as advertisements go yeah even like on you you know how when you watch youtube video
[03:58:56] you can add in the in the beginning of the video I have youtube read do you have youtube read too
[03:59:04] $999 a month you can spend you press click and it just starts playing the video no advertisement
[03:59:10] here's the thing I don't mind the advertisements that's how I find out about like a bunch of
[03:59:15] the new music come out a lot of like um like you know intermittent this fast thing weird
[03:59:20] I had a guy the other day he was like I was watching he was watching one of the podcasts
[03:59:24] and it was one of heavy podcasts which I guess doesn't really narrow it down too much but
[03:59:29] he's he goes walking the podcast and all of a sudden there's a big advertisement on you know what
[03:59:33] and this is what youtube will do sometimes with longer videos they'll just put that over as far as angry
[03:59:39] and you know what it was in youtube comments which we know we don't respond to but we do read
[03:59:45] but I almost responded bro 99 99 that thing's gone yeah I was watching
[03:59:52] that's some serious for a full chat right there is bro it is he's it is he's he's he's he's he's
[04:00:00] but it was going great and then the commercial popped out was starting to check into my life I'm never
[04:00:05] going to park again man I think I think the ads I get it though you know because sometimes you
[04:00:14] leave your listening to his deal his thing whatever it is he's talking about it takes you mentally
[04:00:18] and kind of emotionally this face it emotionally into a certain spot and then it fades out into
[04:00:23] some hey do you want to I don't know whatever the ad is you know you want to get more kind of
[04:00:28] put some breaks on that there's been some of my new little things in the podcast especially for
[04:00:34] echo I'll say echo's been very and we didn't talk about it because it was actually not the right
[04:00:39] time to talk about it but on the last podcast 122 there was an emotional moment for echo
[04:00:45] and you got through it I know I know I'm like super hardcore and everyone knows that you know but
[04:00:52] hey man you know even stronger moments of fatigue no one I was maybe just fatigue that time anyway
[04:00:59] good or ways to support is subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already on iTunes Stitcher google play
[04:01:08] in any other place where be you listen to your podcast new podcast apps all over now
[04:01:13] so boom subscribe no shame can't keep up on them yeah and when I say no shame that's not a
[04:01:18] in white or actually here's something a little interesting thing start super interesting it's kind
[04:01:22] of interesting you know the expression no shame right it usually means like by this guy has no shame
[04:01:27] like he's kind of like he's he has his moral standards maybe kind of low something like that right
[04:01:32] in white no shame means don't be shy so like in South Africa when I was in South Africa they say
[04:01:40] shame it's just a word that they use for all kinds of different things and they're not shame
[04:01:45] okay yeah it's it's I like the way they used it interesting yeah and I'll try and bring it back
[04:01:51] yeah I'm telling you right now with those two pieces of information right I'm prepared to change
[04:01:57] you know it'll help me in case you get a guy from white he says no shame he will he doesn't
[04:02:01] mean it in a bad way because it's they're very subtle differences but one is kind of on the bad
[04:02:05] side like oh this guy no shame you know this guy no shame if a whole guy from white says no shame
[04:02:10] is he's just saying don't be shy or if he's telling the story say a this person wasn't shy at that
[04:02:15] point like like if he says and here it is here's the example okay I'm telling the story about a guy
[04:02:22] who went and talked to a girl and said this guy no shame he just went and talked to her on the
[04:02:27] mainland or you know outside of white whatever they'd be like wait what was wrong with it was
[04:02:31] that his friends girlfriend or something what was that his cousin or something you know I mean
[04:02:35] so it sounds like a whole different story so he can do that on in text message there then
[04:02:40] if it's a white guy you can more people say problems yeah well well when you may not know
[04:02:46] the point the if he could probably do it because he is very proactive and aggressive in his use of
[04:02:54] emojis this guy yeah rainbows shockers like we've all he brings it yeah I incorporate the palm
[04:03:02] tree too very recently so watch out for them yes nonetheless back to support
[04:03:08] youtube channel also along with the podcast last platforms and apps youtube we do have a youtube channel
[04:03:15] work it podcast youtube channel too now boom just release more your kid youtube channel
[04:03:20] yeah podcast podcast yes I'm gonna deal but just work it's posted yet it's up and running like
[04:03:27] okay so I kept you on the lookout for that one but yeah youtube the we have the video version of this podcast
[04:03:31] once he would check looks like and so good looking guy he talked about that money maker during
[04:03:36] the podcast and I want to come check it out yeah guys got curious you know if you can tell me
[04:03:40] yeah you can't don't deny one of the first things I did was I somebody in my family was like
[04:03:46] I need to make her so I haven't seen my face I was like I know how bad it is that I saw it I was like
[04:03:52] yeah yeah if you still work boom right I saw it yeah so if you guys curious
[04:03:57] about that boom we got the youtube channel perfect also got excerpts on there and enhanced excerpts
[04:04:03] I take little excerpts but music on it's nice I think it's nice chocolate things nice yeah
[04:04:09] good some of it hell yeah also jaco is a store called jaco store
[04:04:15] creatively enough jaco store dot com is where you can get t-shirts and whatnot
[04:04:21] whatnot meaning rash cards as well hoodies hats
[04:04:23] all kinds of cool stuff I think they're cool yeah it's good jaco store dot com jaco gear
[04:04:33] it's jaco gear on jaco store yeah yeah fully nonetheless look with this one I'm not saying hey
[04:04:40] go to jaco store buy something I'm not saying that I'm saying just go there look at check it out
[04:04:44] you like something get something that's a good way to support this all I'm saying but jaco store also
[04:04:50] oh it's good yeah also psychological warfare okay if you know what that is is what it is it's an album
[04:04:57] with tracks jaco tracks not a song they're not songs not jaco singing you want another that
[04:05:02] no no we don't playing guitar maybe that's kind of good and you play guitar nonetheless it's not
[04:05:08] that it's jaco talking and here's what he's saying okay we call it our campaign against weakness right
[04:05:15] just you know you're on the program you're on the path you get me in shape you're staying
[04:05:18] in shape you're whatever you're doing right you're reading more I don't know waking up early
[04:05:23] right and post the discipline first thing in the morning whatever whatever you're doing
[04:05:26] you're gonna do that every day those days where you're feeling weak you might skip the workout
[04:05:30] I'm gonna sleep in whatever whatever the weakness is there's a track for it and it's jaco telling
[04:05:35] you why you shouldn't give into that weakness just for that time it's not him yelling nothing like
[04:05:39] that it's just kind of explained to you why you shouldn't shouldn't give in it's real effective
[04:05:44] do by the 100% effective I'm not mistaken that was the last the miracle report percentage was
[04:05:49] sure well you know you just mentioned very quickly the warrior kid podcast and that has a
[04:05:57] youtube channel and in order to have a youtube channel for the warrior kid podcast there has to be a
[04:06:02] warrior kid podcast which there is now warrior kid podcast is out and in it it is questions
[04:06:10] for uncle jake by the way not this uncle jake put a different uncle jake seven and it's on a separate
[04:06:18] channel the reason I put it on a separate channel is so that your kids aren't sitting there streaming
[04:06:24] podcasts or your kid podcast and all of a sudden they jump into the shitty season yeah
[04:06:31] or the mela masquer so it's totally separate channel uncle jakes got some lessons learned for kids
[04:06:37] yes definitely for parents very true 100% common for macotrials for teachers yes coaches yes
[04:06:45] human beings i'm gonna go ahead and say yes real quick about the what i was thinking too well
[04:06:50] listen into where it's okay this is why it's for like a parent because these kids
[04:06:57] like that ask you the questions they're questions they probably ask their parents yeah
[04:07:01] you seem to have maybe the parents would be like oh I'm not sure yeah maybe or okay i'll just kind
[04:07:05] of it's spontaneously answered the question meanwhile it's like kind of your is good man it's good
[04:07:10] it's getting out they know like one you know that happens to be number one number one
[04:07:16] kids podcast kids and family podcast so that's cool all right speaking of way the warrior kid
[04:07:24] there's the book way of the warrior kid and there's also the new book boom there it is hardcover
[04:07:29] way the warrior kid to marks mission uncle jake continues to help mark with some of his
[04:07:35] problems losing his temper how to handle being made fun of don't you wish somebody told you
[04:07:41] how to handle being made fun of yeah your kid i know i would have liked that fear of failure how
[04:07:47] do you overcome that also learns about the value of money a lot of people don't know that these
[04:07:51] days a lot of kids don't know that for sure mark in the book actually gets a job
[04:07:56] makes money refurbishes a bike basically gets after it so give the children that you know
[04:08:06] the ultimate gift and that is the gift of discipline shown the way the warrior kid and you will be
[04:08:11] stoked speaking of warrior kids and so put you mentioned earlier yeah you could get from on it you could
[04:08:17] also get soap from aiden he's a warrior kid yeah i wish oaks ranch dot com stay clean that's the
[04:08:26] motto don't forget about this plenic was freedom field manual and you all actually glad i wrote this book
[04:08:34] you want to know why because i actually have to refer to it okay you that's kind of
[04:08:40] a reaction thought you're saying like dang like you didn't think i had to refer to did you think
[04:08:43] i didn't have to refer to it i think i never thought about whether now you had to think refer to but
[04:08:47] now that you mentioned it's kind of like oh i get it it's like you know i get a rate you're to do
[04:08:51] less like well you're gonna remember that it's kind of like that i i have to refer to the manual yeah
[04:08:56] it's a good book man it's good you open it up re-pitch it read two pages and that's the way i wrote it
[04:09:03] i was even thinking about like the effectiveness of it yeah it's pretty cool if you want the
[04:09:07] audio version discipline it goes freedom field manual it's not on audible because audible wouldn't
[04:09:14] work for a book like this it needs to be an album with tracks so it's available on iTunes Amazon
[04:09:20] music google play other MP3 platforms then there's extreme ownership of course combat leadership
[04:09:27] applied to the battlefield applied to business applied to life you know over's one million copies sold
[04:09:35] right now that's pretty cool impressive yeah we're stoked on that and it's been it's the best
[04:09:42] selling I don't forget there's some kind of a cool best selling leadership book since it's released
[04:09:48] or something right i forget the actual thing but it sounded pretty cool yeah man they sent me a
[04:09:52] stop thing today that's why i know this stuff get it for your business life and also you can
[04:09:59] right now order the follow on book two extreme ownership that are wrote with my brother life
[04:10:03] babbin it's called the dichotomy of leadership it is finding the balance as a leader and i
[04:10:09] talk about this all the time on the podcast i actually said i actually talked about this in the first
[04:10:14] public interview i ever did with Tim Ferriss he asked me about the qualities of leaders i said balance
[04:10:19] so well that's what i'm talking about as we continue to work with companies and businesses people
[04:10:24] like the hardest thing people have hardest challenge people have is balance i talked to talk
[04:10:29] about that with the talking about chesty polar so much balance he balanced perfectly be between
[04:10:35] being hard and being gentle he found that perfect balance because you know if you're gentle
[04:10:40] two gentles a leader you're a pushover known respect you two hard as a leader you drive people
[04:10:45] too hard you're slave driver no one likes your no one respects you you gotta find that balance
[04:10:48] that's what this book is about and if you need qrf at your company quick reaction force
[04:10:55] right if you need some support some help with your leadership well
[04:10:59] contact the quick reaction force for your team it's called national on front
[04:11:04] it's my leadership consultant company it's me it's life babbin jp denel davberg
[04:11:09] website is national on front dot com we solve problems through leadership boom
[04:11:16] if you got a problem it's leadership of course the master leadership seminar
[04:11:21] zero zero five is in washing the dc may 17th and 18th and zero zero six is in San Francisco
[04:11:27] October 17th and 18th dc is close to being sold out right now it might be sold out
[04:11:32] there might be a few tickets left but if you want to register
[04:11:36] extreme ownership dot com get in the game with us i will not be in the presidential suite
[04:11:44] eating chocolate covered strawberries and drinking fizzy water i will not be doing that i will be
[04:11:50] with you if you come to the master i'll be with you hanging out eating lunch working out
[04:11:56] talking answering questions the whole time no green room
[04:12:01] lake same way jp same way dav same way echo Charles same same way
[04:12:08] you come to you anyone of those if you want to they're fun yeah we got something in Dallas too
[04:12:14] if you want to come to that it's uh called the roll call it's for police law enforcement
[04:12:19] audit military you want to come hang out
[04:12:23] do whatever you want to do you can just come beat the f around get after it that's cool with us
[04:12:27] and that one is September 21st in Dallas Texas that's also register on extreme ownership dot com
[04:12:34] and until it's perfect it's perfect you got something to do yeah like i got so i got hit
[04:12:42] September 20th oh our gala is September 22nd in Dallas we're good we'll see you there right on
[04:12:51] you're locked you're all coming oh dang we'll come do your thing you come do oh nice we'll crash
[04:12:58] your party you crash mine hey again with the good time and it's so we see you at the master
[04:13:06] or the roll car call or at the immersion camp in main if you want to cruise with us kind of hard
[04:13:15] you can find us on the inner webs on twitter on instagram and on that facebook hacky jake listen to
[04:13:25] this one jake is at jakeb underscore shick which is spelled like s check oh i say
[04:13:36] oh i say shick like the razor no relation i got screwed on that bill oh yeah you got left out
[04:13:43] the cold on that one yeah the dude that started its name jakeb trick i googled your name like a couple
[04:13:49] weeks ago and i was reading about jakeb shick what one of these days i'm gonna overtake
[04:13:55] yeah it's if i'm talking about echo is at echo Charles and i am at jaco willink echo you
[04:14:02] anything else no man thank you so cool to meet you two bro i don't feel unusual brother
[04:14:10] jake any closing thoughts yeah i forgot to say by the way and i will get scolded if i don't
[04:14:16] that if you buy our merch i need you to know that that's how we pay our overhead
[04:14:25] drum merchandise those and the merch is available at 22 kk on 22 kk dot com and we're starting
[04:14:31] a win therapy program through partnership with jamp cycle so did you say what kind of third
[04:14:36] wind what is that all about the breeze between the knees bro oh oh okay you got it see
[04:14:43] you're gonna take it to a weird place no i was taking it free fall oh yeah yeah no i was taking it
[04:14:48] free fall i was in a proud of what it said he's in the breeze with jumping out of the things that
[04:14:53] didn't need jumping out of i was just like no no he's gonna grab it he loved you know
[04:14:59] no man listen no i don't i would just leave people with this okay listen it just keep grinding
[04:15:06] so it's all about you know you i've learned that i've learned this in my well-versed and
[04:15:13] experienced thirty-six years of life three things this life's absolutely worth living what makes it
[04:15:22] beautiful as you get to share it with people that you love all the way your successes and your
[04:15:26] failures and three not about you live well jake well jake as i said
[04:15:36] before thank you for coming on the show but more importantly thanks for your service in the marine
[04:15:42] core ruh thanks for your sacrifice thanks for fighting so hard and thanks for what you are doing now
[04:15:50] to help veterans continue to live the lives they deserve to live into everyone out there
[04:16:00] whether you're a veteran or not i said at the beginning of this series that this was a story of war
[04:16:11] and love and pain and death life is hard it is tragic and merciless and when you are caught in that storm
[04:16:26] you might not see anything else beyond the darkness but there is light beyond the darkness
[04:16:40] but you have to hang on you have to hang on and you have to move forward and you're have to fight
[04:16:47] you have to fight fight through all that pain and fear and darkness and get to the other side
[04:17:05] where the darkness subsides
[04:17:07] and where you can once again live thanks for listening thanks for living and thanks for getting out there
[04:17:28] and getting after it so until next time this is jake shik and echo and joko out